FabSwingers.com forum: How long before you message again?

By *ongue twisted OP Man
over a year ago

Holyhead

I can admit after reading a few of these forums, that I didn't spend long enough on my profile before browsing and sending messages. I understand that people are getting a lot of messages, my question is how long is acceptable to wait to try make a better first impression? I don't want people feeling like I'm a pest. Apologies if I've already come across like that to anyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You don't get a second chance at a first impression. Generally, if they haven't replied they're not interested.

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By *ike_LiterissMan
over a year ago

London, Bedfordshire & Hertfordshire

Message once, if they like you, you WILL know

Good luck

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By *ike_LiterissMan
over a year ago

London, Bedfordshire & Hertfordshire

"Message once, if they like you, you WILL know

Good luck"

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

"You don't get a second chance at a first impression. Generally, if they haven't replied they're not interested."

. Yea if you don't get a response move on leave it at that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can admit after reading a few of these forums, that I didn't spend long enough on my profile before browsing and sending messages. I understand that people are getting a lot of messages, my question is how long is acceptable to wait to try make a better first impression? I don't want people feeling like I'm a pest. Apologies if I've already come across like that to anyone. "

I wait 10 seconds then message again asking if they are ignoring me

Then keep doing it for about an hour In between that I ring their mobile and house phone constantly

If they still don't answer I go round the house knock on door and if they don't a answer I ring to see if they left phone at home

If they still don't answer I go round at night wait for them to go into a room they can be seen through the window and bang on window

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By *ongue twisted OP Man
over a year ago

Holyhead

I guess the only real way to get a second chance for a first impression is if you somehow bump in to each other at clubs etc.

thanks for the input

Happy fabbing

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

The only time you message again is if they replied to your original message. You can't go wrong with that.

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By *ongue twisted OP Man
over a year ago

Holyhead

I wait 10 seconds then message again asking if they are ignoring me

Then keep doing it for about an hour In between that I ring their mobile and house phone constantly

If they still don't answer I go round the house knock on door and if they don't a answer I ring to see if they left phone at home

If they still don't answer I go round at night wait for them to go into a room they can be seen through the window and bang on window

Haha I like your style. Don't think I'll be trying it anytime soon. Enough to get you locked up

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover

Much of what is written in similar threads on the forum indicate that it is the profile and not the message which is judged...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wait 10 seconds then message again asking if they are ignoring me

Then keep doing it for about an hour In between that I ring their mobile and house phone constantly

If they still don't answer I go round the house knock on door and if they don't a answer I ring to see if they left phone at home

If they still don't answer I go round at night wait for them to go into a room they can be seen through the window and bang on window

Haha I like your style. Don't think I'll be trying it anytime soon. Enough to get you locked up"

Seriously think about it

Women usually have kids and jobs it's pointless messaging them at work or kid time

They also change their Mind about what they want just message again say in 3 months time

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By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton

Occasionally if my message has not been deleted I will try one more. If o do, it will be at least a month later and sometimes more than six months.

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By *aeriequeenWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

I frequently miss messages but id say twice was the limit then move on. I know some get annoyed with more than once though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 28/07/15 13:45:54]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Every 1min is ok to email them back lol

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By *arks_coupleCouple
over a year ago

Warwick

We had someone who constantly wanted to text. Hard to deal with when wife doesn't text often/messaging isn't her life. The other guy wouldn't accept it. So we moved on...

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By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton

Where someone reads and deletes message quite quickly, I will not try again.

The grey area is when my message remains unread for weeks, or read but not deleted. I know many ladies and couples have overflowing inboxes and may miss my message. So sometimes I try once more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a difficult one - on one hand the accepted advice is 'if they haven't replied they're not interested' but then other people admit that they get inundated with messages and often do a mass delete without even reading messages.

So what if your well constructed message with face pic attached was mass deleted without being read? Isn't that worth one more go after an acceptable wait? (I'm certainly not advocating bombarding an inbox!)

For me if a message has been read and ignored then I treat that as 'not interested' but I'm struggling myself whether to re-message people who admit on their status updates etc that they've done a mass delete ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wait 10 seconds then message again asking if they are ignoring me

Then keep doing it for about an hour In between that I ring their mobile and house phone constantly

If they still don't answer I go round the house knock on door and if they don't a answer I ring to see if they left phone at home

If they still don't answer I go round at night wait for them to go into a room they can be seen through the window and bang on window

This

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By *etzPlayCouple
over a year ago

Southend

We only send another if something's changed. Eg we couldn't accommodate to begin with, now we've moved we can and that has worked out well xx

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By *ath_Neil_bifunCouple
over a year ago

near cardiff

I suppose it depends on how full the ladies inbox is.when you get 1100 messages a in a week then resending is probably not going to harm you,as the odds are the original message was deleted without being read anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll add a little something to this...

Mostly people will reply straight away if they're interested. But, for those who get too many messages they can get many guys they're interested in message them at once (does happen to me and i feel well pissed off i can't reply to them all (or arrange a gangbang)).

1. If you don't get a reply, check firstly that you are likely to be what they want.

2. That first point; be honest with yourself, are you really likely to be what they want? Do you fit their age range? Do you fit most things they like on their profile? Does your profile or message have all the requirements they ask for? I'm serious about this, it's not jumping through hoops it's taking the time to weigh up if you are what they are looking for.

3. They can block you if you piss them off, just be wary of that so you're taking a risk of being seen a pesterer even if you only message them twice and leave a week between the messages, depends on what their limits are (and seeing as they didn't reply you have to guess this).

4.a. Idk, you could just send a message saying 'i have messaged you before but updated my profile since and was hoping to get your opinion on it because i've a feeling you're really popular on here so see a lot of profiles'. Some people might not like being presumed to be popular though so you don't have to mention that, think of a better reason to ask their opinion on profiles actually coz tbh that was shit lol.

4.b. It's important to mention you've messaged before then they know you aren't some random copy and paste type of fabber.

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By *irty130Couple
over a year ago

Bristol Area

This is quite possibly the best bit of advice I've seen on here recently!

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

After you've sent a message, delete it from your sent items, so you've no idea whether it gets read or not.

No good ever came from obsessing over one's sent messages page.

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By *aramelMINXWoman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

Haha I love it when ppl put on their posts

good luck

Like their going for a job interview or get the all clear from the Dr's

But good to encourage people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is quite possibly the best bit of advice I've seen on here recently!

Honestly? I thought it was a bit poo after i wrote it tbh, but thanks if you was being serious.

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By *irty130Couple
over a year ago

Bristol Area

I mean, as advice for the OP - take this advice as FIX YOUR PROFILE, and then give it one more shot.

I liked the wording! Open and not pushy, and gives the OP a possible 2nd chance at a first impression if the profile is improved.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I mean, as advice for the OP - take this advice as FIX YOUR PROFILE, and then give it one more shot.

I liked the wording! Open and not pushy, and gives the OP a possible 2nd chance at a first impression if the profile is improved."

Oh ok lol. Well it is late ,and i get confused easily.

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By *llNatural36FWoman
over a year ago

Denbighshire

This is the best advice I've seen, the amount of times I've asked somebody "have you read my profile?" and the answer is no!!!! If somebody can't take time to read my profile then I'm not going to take time to respond back after that

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By *omethingSoGoodAboutSofiaWoman
over a year ago

Blackburn/Preston

In all honesty, I sometimes just completely miss messages and they travel down my inbox and off the page without me realising it...not because I get inundated with messages but purely because I just don't have the time to sit on fab on a regular basis and reply to every single message I receive! Also because I like to converse with a few people at once and just getting to the stage of arranging a meet can mean loads of messages being sent back and forth resulting in a full inbox! Until I actually sit down and delete all the messages I've replied to already, the bottom end of my inbox doesn't get looked at and then I find messages from weeks ago that I'm interested in and eventually end up replying to...it's worth sending a message for the second or third time and maybe stating that you've messaged before, it might result in a reply, even if it's a thanks but no thanks but check to see if they've read the first as if they have read it and haven't replied, it's most likely that they're not interested! I've messaged people more than once and vice versa and they've resulted in meets! Bug the fuck out of them op, you'll know they're not interested if they block you, they delete your message after reading it or even without reading it or if they tell you to stop harassing them after the 17th message!!!!!! Women don't get enough messages on here, fill their inboxes up and you might eventually get to fill their cunts up, I did just type that yes!!!! Trust me, it works sometimes, I've tried and tested it!!! Haha! You're only a pest in my eyes if you send a second message more or less exactly the same as the first one you sent, in a short space of time when the first one is still unread, give people a chance to reply, fab isn't on the top of the list of priorities in life for some! Or if you've had a thanks but no thanks message sent to you and you still persistently message!

I put a meet thingy up yesterday and for the first time since I blocked men, I took the filter off, had an inbox full in a very, very short space of time (not experienced that since I first joined, I'll be honest!) and because I had time to sit and reply, I thought I'd start going through my inbox from the bottom and sending the 'thanks but no thanks' messages out to those that didn't interest me...after only sending TWO out, I received 8 replies from just 2 blokes trying to get me to change my mind, asking why I'd said no and even sending abuse my way for replying with an answer that they didn't want or weren't expecting!...adding more bulk to my bloody full inbox! Ironically I got called a slag for saying no!!!! Because of 2 idiots, I gave up sending the no thank you messages out as I couldn't be arsed with the hassle and probably missed a few that I might've liked! Can't win when you send replies and can't win when you don't, it's ridiculous! When I can, I'll go through and just read and delete those that don't tickle my fancy and by doing that, indirectly tell them I'm not interested! Everyone's different though aren't they! Get re sending messages op, try your luck, why the bloody hell not but please, move on after a few attempts and definitely if you receive a 'thanks but no thanks' message! Nowt worse than having to deal with twatty people that can't handle rejection and take no as an answer! I usually don't understand the amount of stick that single blokes get as I've had my filters set from the beginning but after last night, I fully understand it!!! Not only single blokes that do it though, couples and single fems are just as bad for not handling rejection! If you're sending a message to someone, you yourself are giving that person/people the full right to reject you so why not just accept it and move on if they do?!? I don't get humans, fucking weirdos...on that note, I'm going to go give the pussy a stroke or few, never gives me hassle, much better than people!!!

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By *omethingSoGoodAboutSofiaWoman
over a year ago

Blackburn/Preston

Speed and a forum thread was bound to equal a fucking mahoosive response that's full of shite from myself!! Oh dear, apologies for going off on a fair few tangents! Being sober usually helps sort through inboxes...probably why mines never sorted and why it takes me ages replying even when I'm interested...hahahahaha!!!!

Note to oneself, log on when you're sober, send short messages that you don't have to think about and can type really quickly as it's only a shag people are after and not Facebook (!) Not gonna happen but it's worth saying to myself, might just take notice one day!!!! What the fuck are all the, 'it's not Facebook' statuses about anyway?! Added my pennies worth, night folks!

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

"After you've sent a message, delete it from your sent items, so you've no idea whether it gets read or not.

No good ever came from obsessing over one's sent messages page."

That's probably the best advice, ever.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing pisses us off more than guys who send us a message, we don't reply then a week or so later they message again, again no reply then message again and again ffs take the hint.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You DON'T send second messages.

No reply or deleted means "no thanks".

Second messages are pestering. Get it right first time or don't bother!

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