FabSwingers.com forum: Why people so rude

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Why do women read your message and then ignore you. Why cant they just message back sorry not for me. ALSO shen you do chat get on then suddenly they disappear. Also they put age range 18-99 but then say ur too old why put the range if they dont want older guys in the first place. Sorry rant over but fed up if being lied to and misled . . .

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By *andy_tomMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton

Females and couples get loads of messages , somethink like 50 to 300 a day , so it may not be possible to answer every message they get ,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Females and couples get loads of messages , somethink like 50 to 300 a day , so it may not be possible to answer every message they get , "

This is exactly it we get so many we can't exactly reply to them all we have jobs to do other than satisfy people's needs for a reply

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

when did you last phone someone who posted a flyer through your door to tell them you weren't interested?

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By *jxxxxCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Thought I'd respond (from couples point of view).

We can get 10-15 emails a day often quite rude one liners. Every meaningful message we try to respond to with a 'no thanks' but often in a polite way and i actually take quite a bit of time responding to these. We have found this is a fair amount of admin work and (my wife has told me to stop being so polite) fairly often as soon as we respond with a polite no thanks we get an email back that can best be described as 'begging' which is not an attractive quality.

Appreciate it's tough for guys but we won't meet anyone unverified - we need to know a bit about someone. We also simply delete one liners. Our profile is quite clear and we take time telling you about us. What on earth some guys think with their messages - if it wouldn't work in a bar it's probably not going to work on here either. Unfortunately on a free site you are always going to get rude people but just move on......if going to take rejection and no responses as a personal attack the site is probably not for you.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

It's very tough on single men and the best advice I can offer is to adjust your expectations it makes for less stress in the long run.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why should we reply to messages like, 'nice tits, wanna fuck?' (Got that yesterday) or when it's obvious they haven't read our profile? (Get that everyday)

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By *jxxxxCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

"Why should we reply to messages like, 'nice tits, wanna fuck?' (Got that yesterday) or when it's obvious they haven't read our profile? (Get that everyday)"

Summed it up perfectly!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they don't reply it means they're not interested. You might not be their type. You will have people you fancy and some you don't. It's not personal. Chin up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why should we reply to messages like, 'nice tits, wanna fuck?' (Got that yesterday) or when it's obvious they haven't read our profile? (Get that everyday)"

Hear hear, if people message us and it's clearly obvious that they haven't read our profile preferences then we just delete said message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Grow up for gods sake your not a child!

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover

The site is akin to a market-place where you're really having to sell yourself as a single guy to get any attention.

That's why the junk-mail analogy is so apt here.

Well-crafted and targeted messages land on your doormat or inbox every day written carefully with your type in mind...

Do you reply to each one explaining you are not interested?....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thought I'd respond (from couples point of view).

Agrees there. We tried to be polite to all messages received and answer either "polite no thanks" or

yes

But then some can not take a nice "no thank you and please read profile before messaging as saves time for all" with rude and abusive answer backs.

So it's check the sending parties profile if not what we are looking for it's delete msg no reply..

Can not spend hours ansering messages as many of us have a job a family and a life next to Fab.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone's chatting to you then disappearing then they might be a fake profile. Or they might just not like this site.

Nobody has to reply with a sorry i don't like you or fancy you, some people are uncomfortable rejecting others or feel it's rude or have other reasons or no reason at all. You can't force people to do what you want.

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By *andy_tomMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton

"Why should we reply to messages like, 'nice tits, wanna fuck?' (Got that yesterday) or when it's obvious they haven't read our profile? (Get that everyday)"

politeness and respect cost nothing , its messages like that they should go straight in the bin . they dont deserve a reply,

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

There are also reasons other than rudeness, not enough time or unsuitability that cause a woman not to respond to a message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Speaking as someone who used to be on this scene as part of a couple it is a million times harder being single on here. There is so much competition, women and couples can literally take their pick of dozens if not hundreds of people.

My advice to you is to ask yourself 'is this really the place to find what I want?' If the answer is yes, get yourself over to one of the clubs or parties. You'll meet new people, have a great time and it will open doors for you. Or you can stay here and hope you're in the 5% (speculative) of single men that get lucky so to speak. It's a hard slog sometimes but stay positive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lot of single men write messages like "like the look of you" "fancy a quick meet" etc etc we never reply to them but if we get messages that have taken a bit of time to write we would always reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you reply to every bit of junk mail you get through the post or in your e-mail in box

We dont

We dont reply to every un solicited pm we get on here either

You don't like it then don't message us

Jo x

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

being lied to and misled isn't very nice but an awful lot of people do it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it's obvious they haven't read our profile they won't get a reply. Simples.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP, read the FAQ and show some maturity

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OP, read the FAQ and show some maturity"

Agreed. I have cheese in fridge thats more mature ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For some single guys a no thanks seems to make them think it's a start of a conversation

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By *obbytupperMan
over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley

If you think by not replying they are being rude, then block them! It obviously means they aren't interested.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bud, send your message/s, then delete all your sent mail, forget, log off and get on with life. Log back on later, you'll either have a reply or you won't and as you've deleted the sent message, you have no idea what the recipient has done to it. No point stressing over things you have no control over.

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By *lack Shoe Red SoulCouple
over a year ago

North Hampshire

"OP, read the FAQ and show some maturity

Agreed. I have cheese in fridge thats more mature ??"

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By *ngeluk69Woman
over a year ago

Near enough

Yesterday I got a message from a guy asking if he could make me pregnant and when I deleted it I got a barrage of abuse...

If someone clearly hasn't read my profile or sends me a one liner, they won't get a reply, end of!

Number 1 rule for getting a reply from me, is be original, courteous and friendly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why should we reply to messages like, 'nice tits, wanna fuck?' (Got that yesterday) or when it's obvious they haven't read our profile? (Get that everyday)

Hear hear, if people message us and it's clearly obvious that they haven't read our profile preferences then we just delete said message. "

I have a note in my profile that says I will delete and block people I am unlikely to meet. It is accompanied by an apology and explains that it saves us both time. I dont feel the need to justify why I dont want to meet someone and have been on the receiving end of nasty messages when I have. Can't win.

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By *over me with CumCouple
over a year ago

Near Spalding.

when did you last phone someone who posted a flyer through your door to tell them you weren't interested?"

Perfect answer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

when did you last phone someone who posted a flyer through your door to tell them you weren't interested?"

Lmao

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By * Busty HotwifeCouple
over a year ago

Bradford

We're regularly inundated with messages, most of them pointless. We can't reply to everyone not do we wish to start conversations with those we're not interested in as a polite "Thanks but no thanks" often elicits the response of 'Why not?'

So politely ignoring prevents this. As does blocking those who persist in messaging or fail to realise that no reply means we're not interested.

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By *edsBonkingMan
over a year ago

Near MK

You have my full sympathy. Having read the many replies below your original post. When I message it is always targeted after reading the person/s profile. I am always courteous and polite. I also agree that many single men send rude and meaningless messages..... But that's what makes it tough for the genuine guys also. It's a tough world in here, and some women and couples can be just as ignorant as the idiotic single guys. Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'I can do bareback if required as I fire blanks' ............Jesus Christ

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"'I can do bareback if required as I fire blanks' ............Jesus Christ "

He didn't ask for profile critique. That's against the rules.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would you really rather have an inbox full of rejection? Really rather have people tell you that they don't find you attractive than just say that you're out of their preferred age range? Why would anyone want to potentially enter into dialogue with someone that they're not interested in?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yes i always reply if im not intetested

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By *ippleloverWoman
over a year ago

Sherborne

I get a lot of messages and try to reply to as many as possible, I regularly get a thanks for a polite decline but recently guys have been having a go for the fact that they are not getting what they want here. However it makes me feel vindicated that I really did make the right decision!

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By *punkloverCouple
over a year ago

hatfield

when did you last phone someone who posted a flyer through your door to tell them you weren't interested?"

Never heard it put like that before, perfect !!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for your replies most constructive. I change how i act and respond now and hope it improves. Thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes i always reply if im not intetested"

You probably don't get 50 plus messages a day !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"'I can do bareback if required as I fire blanks' ............Jesus Christ "

May be why he doesn't get many replies ?

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By *eviousLiasonsCouple
over a year ago

Travelling

[Removed by poster at 24/07/15 18:40:44]

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By *eviousLiasonsCouple
over a year ago

Travelling

From the site FAQ page

FAQ

There are too many rude people on here who don't reply to my messages!

It's not rude not to reply.

Some ladies and couples get hundreds of messages a day so it simply isn't possible for them to reply to everyone. If you don't get a response, you should assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send. Are they giving the right message? Are you standing out from the thousands of other guys on here?

It is NOT rude to delete a mail without replying - nobody owes anyone a reply. No reply = not interested, no use stressing over it. Fabs is not a meat market or knocking shop, just as you will look at some profiles and think they are not who you are looking for, so others will look at your profile and think the same.

In the end, if you are getting a lot of "no replys", you are contacting the wrong people. Have a good look at your selection criteria, and also at the people you are messaging.

When all said and done, all swinging is about personal choice. Nobody here is obligated to meet, chat, or reply to anyone else, and if you believe that they are, this is most surely the wrong site for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"'I can do bareback if required as I fire blanks' ............Jesus Christ

He didn't ask for profile critique. That's against the rules."

It's an observation. That observation being the issue of having BB sex goes way beyond getting some pregnant. There are factors to consider

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its tough on here as a single guy, even if you're genuinely verified, but personally a deleted message without reply says everything you need to know about the recipient's thoughts on you. If i get a reply happy days, if not move on and definitely DO NOT pester anyone!

It is quite nice even if you get a reply saying thanks but no thanks as the lady took the time to just respond, even though she probably has 100 other guys messaging her that day. One woman replied to me last week saying thanks but i wasnt what she was looking for. I thanked her for replying, we had a little banter back n forward and said adios. End of story.

Bottom line is the market is saturated for ladies on here and they can take their pick of the guys. Dont take it personally if someone doesn't reply. Since i came back to fab the amount of obvious fake profiles is wild though. Doesn't help either

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By *hat the hellCouple
over a year ago

Down South

"'I can do bareback if required as I fire blanks' ............Jesus Christ

May be why he doesn't get many replies ?"

Would certainly be why we headed in the opposite direction if messaged...

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By *est Wales WifeCouple
over a year ago

Near Carmarthen

"Thought I'd respond (from couples point of view).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To put a positive light on all this, I'd say I get about a 50% reply rate. I put time into my messages and read profiles so even though usually the reply is, "Sorry, not for us/me" or "Not my type" this goes a long way to encouraging me to keep going with thought out messages.

Long and short of it is women and couples get swamped on here but in between mass deleting it's nice to receive a polite decline if earn't, at least it encourages those who arn't one liners to keep up with putting effort in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We both read and answer mails on our account. When we were looking for single men as the female half I often wouldn't reply if the profile or message was of no interest unless the message was well crafted. I'm not interested in starting a conversation with someone who wants to try to persuade me otherwise. May sound harsh but we tend to block and move on so we're not inadvertently contacted again and the person doesn't appear in our search results.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I no how u feel not had a single reply not like I'm being a dick and just asking for a quick fuck and chuck, girls just want a pretty boy I guess not interested in average Joe like us .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/wales/409438

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By *riendswithbenefits2Man
over a year ago

bristol

Well i think with such an inbox of messages they can filter through to what they are really looking for. There are alot of single guys out there to compete with but if i was a woman i would filter through too why have silver when you can have gold. Just gotta sit back and wait till your somebodys gold.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If people take the time to read and understand our profile properly and send a sensible message we will take the time to answer... Simple really, well you would have thought so !!!

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover

"Well i think with such an inbox of messages they can filter through to what they are really looking for. There are alot of single guys out there to compete with but if i was a woman i would filter through too why have silver when you can have gold. Just gotta sit back and wait till your somebodys gold. "

By "filter through" you mean read the messages....that is no help!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The only time it gives me the hump is when I meet all the requirements laid out on their profile. If it's a bare profile that doesn't state specifics then I'm not really bothered

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They may simply not like your profile! Would you prefer "dont message me again I just dont like the look of you!" Just because you send a message does not guarantee a reply. Get a grip man. And pick your dummy up of the floor.

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By *aramelMINXWoman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

Maybe just maybe

your not what they're looking for

They dnt need to justify not replying

women would be here all day replying to each of their messages

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

"Why should we reply to messages like, 'nice tits, wanna fuck?' (Got that yesterday) or when it's obvious they haven't read our profile? (Get that everyday)"

I've had 57 messages today and out of all those I could tell not a single one had read my profile.

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By *anklerMan
over a year ago

Suffolk

"Yesterday I got a message from a guy asking if he could make me pregnant and when I deleted it I got a barrage of abuse...

Believe it or not I got a message a little while ago from a single man telling me he wanted to get me pregnant.

I didn't let him

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Yesterday I got a message from a guy asking if he could make me pregnant and when I deleted it I got a barrage of abuse...

Believe it or not I got a message a little while ago from a single man telling me he wanted to get me pregnant.

I didn't let him"

Blimey that's some talent he's got you could have made a fortune.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yesterday I got a message from a guy asking if he could make me pregnant and when I deleted it I got a barrage of abuse...

Believe it or not I got a message a little while ago from a single man telling me he wanted to get me pregnant.

I didn't let him"

I told one of my meets i was pregnant ans he congratulated me, i felt bad for joking about it then.

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

It hasn't been mentioned yet but a lot of women and couples are very much like myself, they will read profiles before entertaining reading the message, if the profile isn't appealing, then we're not interested how carefully crafted the message is it's going in the bin

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The only time it gives me the hump is when I meet all the requirements laid out on their profile. If it's a bare profile that doesn't state specifics then I'm not really bothered"

Meeting all the requirements is one thing but if they don't fancy you they won't be interested.

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By *at69driveMan
over a year ago

Hertford

"Why do women read your message and then ignore you. Why cant they just message back sorry not for me. ALSO shen you do chat get on then suddenly they disappear. Also they put age range 18-99 but then say ur too old why put the range if they dont want older guys in the first place. Sorry rant over but fed up if being lied to and misled . . ."
Why not just assume that no reply means no interest . Would you prefer to receive lots of rejection messages ?. Fab is cyberland and should only be a small part of your life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did u know that everytime u reply to a message...even if its 'no thanks', its stored in memory so this person can message n mither u in a weeks/months time. However if u delete the message without replying, the next time this person tries again they get a 'warning - you have already tried to send this person a message'.

Yes the alternative is block...now 'that' is rude but at least the sender will get a warning theyve tried n he/she was not interested first time round then stop trying.

Plus it does help if we dont get abuse if we say no thanks or followed by why not!! Easier to delete, forget n move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It hasn't been mentioned yet but a lot of women and couples are very much like myself, they will read profiles before entertaining reading the message, if the profile isn't appealing, then we're not interested how carefully crafted the message is it's going in the bin

*People read profiles* shock horror

Sorry touchy subject at the min

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are owed absolutely nothing on here, what's the difference between being told your not suitable or them just not communicating, it's the same end result.

As for the age ranges, maybe people will meet older guys perhaps it was just you they didn't want to meet and were being polite about it. Although it's a sex site people do it for enjoyment we are not all sex starved individuals that will meet and fuck anything warm and breathing

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Why people so rude - dont ans messages