FabSwingers.com forum: what's with the newbie/single male hate?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hey guys. Only been on here a few weeks but boy is it a rough ride! The issue seems to be that I'm a single male with a somewhat 'newbie' status. I've had an avid interest in the swinging scene for many years and recently been trying to get into it. I'm single through lifestyle choice. But I'm a genuine down to earth guy, who just happens to have a very high sex drive. On approaching people on here I just seem to get blanked, or blocked. What the hell? Won't anyone give the new guy a break lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not newbie hate, just remember there are loads of us single chaps.... And the couples/ladies get bombarded with messages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why have you concluded that that must be the reason that you are struggling?

Unless you are talking about those who have set filters to stop you contacting them, how do you not know it is another reason?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Well there's a crushing blow to my male ego, and a fine example of what I'm on about

I do take on the point of the lady's getting loads of messages and I can sympathize. I mean I've never been asked to suck so much dick in my life.

Sorry about the moan. Just had to vent is all

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/08/13 08:15:56]

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By *istress-MazikeenWoman
over a year ago

bolton

I always wonder why new single guys think that when they join they will get an instant meet.

As has been said by many a single guy before on here, it is easier to get a shag by going out on a Saturday night.

Swinging is not just about sex it is also the social side of things.

The men who have the most success are normally the one's who post in the forums and get to socials and clubs.

So get yourself known, read profiles fully to make sure you are what people want.

Will say that cock pictures do put a lot of women off, as seen one seen them all.

Hope you find what your looking for. x

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By *ub bbwWoman
over a year ago

oldbury

maybe just maybe its the profile opening a profile with a rant is not attractive and closing it with a cuting comment about tvs is not sexy either. You have put together a proper profile tho so thats a start. You can block single guys on your profile settings so no need to worry about that any more. You need to put some effort in and spend time sending well thought out messages, Its not newbie hating its just that there are hundreds of single males and you need to stand out from the rest. Read profiles fully try going to clubs or socials you live in brum so have plenty to choose from.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And it's a constant source of frustration that people jump to the conclusion that because I'm a single male I just want a quick shag. If that was the case I'd just pop up town on a Friday night. So yeah, guess it works both ways.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well there's a crushing blow to my male ego, and a fine example of what I'm on about

I do take on the point of the lady's getting loads of messages and I can sympathize. I mean I've never been asked to suck so much dick in my life.

Sorry about the moan. Just had to vent is all

What is a fine example of what you are on about?

To be blunt, my initial thought when reading your profile is that it was absolutely nothing to do with been a single male or a newbie that was causing you problems. And the sense of entitlement and expectation shown in that reply only re-inforces that opinion.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I take the point on bored about the tv comment. And have since removed it. Genuinely didn't realise my profile was ranty though. In fact I was just reflecting the attitude some others have on here, but again. Point taken.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"maybe just maybe its the profile opening a profile with a rant is not attractive and closing it with a cuting comment about tvs is not sexy either. You have put together a proper profile tho so thats a start. You can block single guys on your profile settings so no need to worry about that any more. You need to put some effort in and spend time sending well thought out messages, Its not newbie hating its just that there are hundreds of single males and you need to stand out from the rest. Read profiles fully try going to clubs or socials you live in brum so have plenty to choose from."

This!

Bemoaning fakes and timewasters after two weeks?

They have, and always will be on such sites.

I'd like to know what your expectations were before joining?

Actually - scrap that - I'd simply like to know if you had ANY expectations. Because the best advice anyone can ever receive is to leave them at the door, enter the world of fab with an open mind, patience,respect and the understanding that you're owed nothing - replies to messages, interest or meets.

If what you're doing, whatever that may be, isn't working for you - then adapt, evolve and change your approach. But never change who you are to please others or to get yourself meets. People on here aren't stupid!

And at all costs - avoid the classic 'single male negativity rant' style of portraying yourself - in your profile, messages or the forums. Might be a tad late for the last one.

PS - a profile status update of "I want to fuck your wife". Really? What about all those poor single women and co-habitees?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ooo err. Taking a proper bashing here aren't I? Can't please all of the people all of the tome folks.

I was not expecting anything. My comments on this tthread have been nothing but good natured. Seems like your proving my point for me.

Cheers guys.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It would seem that there is a lot of conclusion jumping going on here. I simply wanted to get something off my chest.

was this not the correct forum to do so?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This!

Bemoaning fakes and timewasters after two weeks?

They have, and always will be on such sites.

I'd like to know what your expectations were before joining?

And at all costs - avoid the classic 'single male negativity rant' style of portraying yourself - in your profile, messages or the forums. Might be a tad late for the last one.

PS - a profile status update of "I want to fuck your wife". Really? What about all those poor single women and co-habitees?"

Obi has summed it up really, we dont generally meet single guys but if we were looking your profile would put us of straight away....

A. Because of your status

B. Moaning in the forums is never attractive

C. Your expectations of this site are wrong

Take the above advice and enjoy the site with no expectations after all you are part of a huge demographic on here all looking for meets so standing out in the crowd using politneness, sincerity and an open mind will enhance your experience ten fold

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So what responses did you expect from this thread?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Again I feel like I'm taking an unnecessary lambasting. So was I wrong in asking? And I have already modified my status thanks.

Again you presume I have some sort of expectations.

I find this very confrontational for an 'open minded' forum.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Again I feel like I'm taking an unnecessary lambasting. So was I wrong in asking? And I have already modified my status thanks.

Again you presume I have some sort of expectations.

I find this very confrontational for an 'open minded' forum."

Its not confrontational its geneuine advice from people that have been members a while and no the ropes so to say.

Dont take it personally, take it as good advice from people that know the site.

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By *istress-MazikeenWoman
over a year ago

bolton

All the above are saying it as it is and how this site works.

Have you taken time and read through your original post?

It comes over as moaning and expecting things to happen.

It does not happen like that on here.

There are some very successful guys on here, and that is because they are just as successful in real life.

Thinking about standing out from a crowd, as in being the man who all eyes turn to when he walks in a room.

Now I am sure that most women would say a man in a suit is what does it, being able to see the eyes, (yes they give a lot away).

So try and put yourself into a woman's shoes and think would I want to meet that man form his profile.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for that crystal. But I do feel my initial point has been reinforced by some of the comments on here. Shame. Was I wrong to bring it up?

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

All I can see is people offering helpful advice: no lambasting. However, you choose to put a negative slant to the advice. You can lead a horse to water...sigh...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hmmm. Ok. We'll thanks for the advice folks...I think.

Was I wrong to bring it up?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

welcome to the fickle world of swinging...

initiation test 1 past...only another 99 to go......

I (R) have been on this scene for a number of years as a single and as a couple of couples....

best thing you can do is get yourself to a club on singles and couples night.

I can recommend the Lodge and Vanilla Alternative. this was you can meet people in a friendly safe way. The people who are there are the real players and you can avoid the fake profiles.

once you get a few verifications from couples then you will be ok....

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By *andm288Couple
over a year ago

oxford

Don't think that you were wrong to bring it up as its an open forum ! but have to agree with Obi & Sam & Jamie we are relatively new but it still amazes us with single guys messaging and sending random friend invites

1st read profile of person / persons

Then read again !

Then take your time to send a well written message be polite ( not fancy a shag ! )

And above all if its a couple that you are messaging remember that you could be talking to either of tge couple !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You get constructive criticism and good advice and moan about a lambasting?

Real life isn't sugar-coated!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks never enough. And cheers for putting it politely.

Again the presumption is I'm doing any of those things. I am not.

Life isn't sugar coated? If only you knew.....lol

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By *irralguy4funMan
over a year ago

Wallasey

Tick tock k, you have to realise that this isn't the real world it's the Internet, iv seen people on here who, lets just say, you wouldn't look at twice in the street, and they are hailed as supermodels, as a single guy we are at the bottom of the food chain, I do agree however that there are a lot of ignorant people on here, my biggest bugbear is being asked to read a very long profile then take the time to compose a initial message for it to be just deleted, a simple no thanks would suffice, if people don't want to answer messages don't come on here or set your filters not to receive them. On the other hand I have met a few good people on here too, pity the site is spoiled by the ignorant ones

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Tick tock k, you have to realise that this isn't the real world it's the Internet, iv seen people on here who, lets just say, you wouldn't look at twice in the street, and they are hailed as supermodels, as a single guy we are at the bottom of the food chain, I do agree however that there are a lot of ignorant people on here, my biggest bugbear is being asked to read a very long profile then take the time to compose a initial message for it to be just deleted, a simple no thanks would suffice, if people don't want to answer messages don't come on here or set your filters not to receive them. On the other hand I have met a few good people on here too, pity the site is spoiled by the ignorant ones"

yeah! That's the point I wads trying to make really. You put it more eloquently. Thanks for the advice. Really appreciate that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reading through this thread some people have given some very good advice, but your response seems a tad defensive? Maybe it's because your not reading it subjectively and taking it personally?

However all we can say is, it's hard for a single guys on any site, yes take time to read the profile of those your going to message, they don't need war and peace in a opening message but showing you've actually read it helps, if they delete the message so what, it doesn't take that long to read a profile and write to them, just move on the next. Be confident and be prepared for knock backs. There's no secret formula but the ones that are successful tend to be natural, polite and confident .

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By *renchbambi xWoman
over a year ago

Need to know basis

"Hmmm. Ok. We'll thanks for the advice folks...I think.

Was I wrong to bring it up?"

The advice given is good, take it and act on it...your time on Fabs will be greatly improved.

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By *irralguy4funMan
over a year ago

Wallasey

"Reading through this thread some people have given some very good advice, but your response seems a tad defensive? Maybe it's because your not reading it subjectively and taking it personally?

If someone closes a door in your face, so what, if someone doesn't say please or thank you, so what, this is still bad manners, all I ask is for people to treat me with the same respect as they expect to be treated with themselves. That seems a difficult concept for some to understand

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a single male and matyre well age wise that is comes experience and getting upset or agitated just because am single male on fab is not in grand scale of things that important.

Way i see it is despite the high ratio of single men i am not in competition with anyone as i so not see fab as anything other than another strand to my life.

Meet wise i do ok but if i go through a spell of no meetts so be it. Life goes on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

get out to clubs where you can actually meet people. but just go looking to experience the club atmosphere and to get talking to people

getting an invite off a couple or a woman would be a bonus then.

we go to clubs a lot and if we go on mixed nights theres always guys just sat there like lemons not doing anything.

we choose not to play with single guys but if we did, sitting in the corner isn't going to interest us at all.

bottom line is this, anyone can hide behind a profile and talk the talk. its better to go out to clubs/socials and actually do some walking

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By *irralguy4funMan
over a year ago

Wallasey

"As a single male and matyre well age wise that is comes experience and getting upset or agitated just because am single male on fab is not in grand scale of things that important.

Way i see it is despite the high ratio of single men i am not in competition with anyone as i so not see fab as anything other than another strand to my life.

Meet wise i do ok but if i go through a spell of no meetts so be it. Life goes on."

Your passive stance, although admirable, still doesn't detract from the point of the post, no one, no mater what sexual orientation, in a relationship or not, should be treated with disrespect and shown bad manners. I see this as a basic human right and one that I try to show others at all times, is it too much to ask for this to be reciprocated?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As a single male and matyre well age wise that is comes experience and getting upset or agitated just because am single male on fab is not in grand scale of things that important.

Way i see it is despite the high ratio of single men i am not in competition with anyone as i so not see fab as anything other than another strand to my life.

Meet wise i do ok but if i go through a spell of no meetts so be it. Life goes on.

Disrepect and bad manners i agree with what you say but fab aint real life for me so if someone rude etc shrug shoulders and move on.

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By *irralguy4funMan
over a year ago

Wallasey

"As a single male and matyre well age wise that is comes experience and getting upset or agitated just because am single male on fab is not in grand scale of things that important.

Way i see it is despite the high ratio of single men i am not in competition with anyone as i so not see fab as anything other than another strand to my life.

Meet wise i do ok but if i go through a spell of no meetts so be it. Life goes on.

Disrepect and bad manners i agree with what you say but fab aint real life for me so if someone rude etc shrug shoulders and move on. "

Passiveness seems to be the order of the day, I just hope that anyone who reads this is swayed to show respect for others

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"As a single male and matyre well age wise that is comes experience and getting upset or agitated just because am single male on fab is not in grand scale of things that important.

Way i see it is despite the high ratio of single men i am not in competition with anyone as i so not see fab as anything other than another strand to my life.

Meet wise i do ok but if i go through a spell of no meetts so be it. Life goes on.

Disrepect and bad manners i agree with what you say but fab aint real life for me so if someone rude etc shrug shoulders and move on.

Passiveness seems to be the order of the day, I just hope that anyone who reads this is swayed to show respect for others"

Yup! Totally agree with that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

good topic and some great responses and advice..the crucial argument was made at the top of the thread for me..expectation..like anything in life if they are too unrealistic, too high or too unachievable for what ever reason then you will indeed be disappointed, probably fail and if you are the sort of character that has such/sets unrealistic expectations you will be looking for some other to blame..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As a single male and matyre well age wise that is comes experience and getting upset or agitated just because am single male on fab is not in grand scale of things that important.

Way i see it is despite the high ratio of single men i am not in competition with anyone as i so not see fab as anything other than another strand to my life.

Meet wise i do ok but if i go through a spell of no meetts so be it. Life goes on.

Bad manners and rudeness are part of everyday life what makes you think fab would be any different ?? As a previous post said shrug shoulders move on, why people get so upset with a few words on a screen is beyond me.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Reading through this thread some people have given some very good advice, but your response seems a tad defensive? Maybe it's because your not reading it subjectively and taking it personally?

I'm here for MY hedonistic pleasure. When visible, there is no ambiguity in my profile in who I'm looking for. To further aid those in doubt I state anyone outwith my preferences will not be replied to: and I don't!

Now, I don't suffer fools, so I could really care less if someone decides my preferences only apply to the other fellas not them, therefore I'm obliged to respond to them: yeah...right!

However, anyone contacting me who meets my criteria will always get a response with my very best wishes whether I wish to meet them or not.

I'm enjoying my time on site, no abuse, no tinewasters, no expectations!

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By *irralguy4funMan
over a year ago

Wallasey

"Reading through this thread some people have given some very good advice, but your response seems a tad defensive? Maybe it's because your not reading it subjectively and taking it personally?

Now, I don't suffer fools, so I could really care less if someone decides my preferences only apply to the other fellas not them, therefore I'm obliged to respond to them: yeah...right!

However, anyone contacting me who meets my criteria will always get a response with my very best wishes whether I wish to meet them or not.

I'm enjoying my time on site, no abuse, no tinewasters, no expectations! "

I see you agree with the post an congratulations on a clear and concise profile, you are one of the few that state what you want an show respect to those people, pity you are in the minority

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Reading through this thread some people have given some very good advice, but your response seems a tad defensive? Maybe it's because your not reading it subjectively and taking it personally?

Now, I don't suffer fools, so I could really care less if someone decides my preferences only apply to the other fellas not them, therefore I'm obliged to respond to them: yeah...right!

However, anyone contacting me who meets my criteria will always get a response with my very best wishes whether I wish to meet them or not.

I'm enjoying my time on site, no abuse, no tinewasters, no expectations!

I see you agree with the post an congratulations on a clear and concise profile, you are one of the few that state what you want an show respect to those people, pity you are in the minority"

Completely disagree !! The rude and disrespectful people are the minority. The majority of fab members are very well mannered , respectful and are happy to offer help and advice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow the good manners brigade is out in force I see.

I won't apologise for deleting something I didn't ask for! If some guy in real life spoke to me the way some members compose messages, they'd get a slap.

I was brought up with good manners and courtesy. Online you quickly learn a new set of rules: self preservation. A no thank you/good luck can result in egos crushed and abuse in response. Then that can upset you for the day. No thanks! Like Miss tress I'm here for me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Reading through this thread some people have given some very good advice, but your response seems a tad defensive? Maybe it's because your not reading it subjectively and taking it personally?

All I can say to that is have you actually been in here as a couple or single woman ? If you think not replying is bad manners then I suggest you read some of the replies we get to a "no thank you "message, then maybe you can understand why it is not considered rude not to reply ( as stated in the FAQ on this site)

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By *irralguy4funMan
over a year ago

Wallasey

"Wow the good manners brigade is out in force I see.

I won't apologise for deleting something I didn't ask for! If some guy in real life spoke to me the way some members compose messages, they'd get a slap.

Firstly, as a couple an single female you will be treated with respect by the majority as they want to impress you, the rest of us, looked upon as second class citizens, single males, are treated, as your post implies, with total distain by the majority, as you state you are on here for 'me' as you say, there is no 'me' without the you that are on here, because you may get abuse from some people by being polite it is not an excuse to tar everyone else with the same brush and show them no respect whatsoever. To put it in a nutshell, treat people how you wish to be treated yourself, that is not too much to ask, or is it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wow the good manners brigade is out in force I see.

I won't apologise for deleting something I didn't ask for! If some guy in real life spoke to me the way some members compose messages, they'd get a slap.

Sorry Wirralguy - as a single guy who doesn't feel I'm treated with 'disdain' or as a 'second class citizen' - I have to agree with the single females and couples re non responses to messages!

For what is probably the zillionth time - I'll post this! (Cut and pasted from site FAQs)

"There are too many rude people on here who don't reply to my messages!

It's not rude not to reply.

Some ladies and couples get hundreds of messages a day so it simply isn't possible for them to reply to everyone. If you don't get a response, you should assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send. Are they giving the right message? Are you standing out from the thousands of other guys on here?"

The simple fact is (apart from repeating the above) that should someone respond to a message that is not of interest to them with a "no thanks" then any future filters they apply to their account will not apply to those they've responded to.

When will people finally get to grips with the fact that an unsolicited message from someone who has/hasnt put any thought into it, has/hasnt read a profile and is of absolutely no interest to the recipient - is no different to a spam email, junk mail or a bloody Jehovah's Witness knocking on your front door! All of which often are as welcome as a nasty dose of the shits!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To the original poster:

Didn't you come on here hoping for a "rough ride"? If so what are you complaining about?

j/k

Sorry, excuse my terrible sense of humour - the infant in me couldn't resist.

The replies here are disappointing but about what I expected from just a cursory look at the forums this week after being on here for 2 years and ignoring them for the most part. To an outsider (who's quite happy on the outside thanks) it looks a bit like a lynch mob from the days of old lining up to shout "She's a witch". I'm starting to understand an earlier post I read about feeling there was a "clique" here on the forums.

On the one hand you're being told you're supposed to act with nothing but gushing positivity and completely hide your personality no matter how rude people are to you in response. On the other hand people seem to have had a right go at you and been guilty of exactly what they accuse you of (making wildly incorrect assumptions).

My twopennyworth: be yourself and don't let "the mob" browbeat you.

And realise that those who post on the forums are just a tiny percentage of those who come on here to meet. Check the stats and I think you'll find that most here, don't even look at the forums so what you're seeing is not necessarily representative of the majority view.

To get more eyeballs from the vocal minority on your profile you could always post endless threads like "Morning. The sun is shining. What you got planned for the day?", "What cereal are you guys having this morning?", "Thinking of buying a house plant. What do you guys think?" and other rivetting reads but then you could also change your profile pic to one with a sign over your head saying "I have no life or friends in the real world" and achieve much the same effect!

That being said, it may well be that what you're looking for isn't here. There are a LOT of timewasters on here and although I've had a ton of great meets which is why I stick around, they've pretty much all been from "straight" guys (which is fine with me - I'm not picky, although I politely decline obese, TV/TS/CD or very camp requests) My guess from those I've met is that those "straight" guys are what they say they are, have come on here hoping to meet women, and the lack of them has meant they've figured "What the heck? Meeting a guy's at least going to make a change from yet another wank". I'm happy to fill that gap (but don't worry, you're safe, I never message people - I just let them message me)

Good luck and remember, just be yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We may be treated with respect .....until we give a "no thank you" message , most men will either delete it or respond with a thank you.

however there are quite Afew that take it as a personal insult and respond with a seriously aggressive or nasty message back. Unfortunately I think most couples/women (certainly all wev'e spoken to) have experienced it.

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By *irralguy4funMan
over a year ago

Wallasey

Breath of fresh air, an very amusing, pity not more like you on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A breath of fresh air is when people stop coming on the forums moaning and belittling others with their so called observations about cliques etc.

The irony is that newbies, or people looking for advice post up questions or comments about meeting etc and when they get friendly advice or peoples opinions all of a sudden the tide turns on those that are simply trying to help.

Moaning, complaining and throwing blame around are such unattractive qualities and you wonder why you dont get any meets !! Perhaps FAB is not for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To the original poster:

Didn't you come on here hoping for a "rough ride"? If so what are you complaining about?

j/k

Sorry, excuse my terrible sense of humour - the infant in me couldn't resist.

My twopennyworth: be yourself and don't let "the mob" browbeat you.

Good luck and remember, just be yourself."

If offering a few hard truths and what is effectively useful advice makes me part of the 'mob' - line me up and shoot me now!!

So far as I see nobody has abused, berated or been harsh with the OP. if people want to hear 'there, there - it'll all get better - just you wait and see' - then the likelihood is that nothing will change and the same issues will be relevant ad infinitum!!

As for the subjects you find dull - why worry? There's no obligation to read, contribute or comment on any forum post!!

So if you feel the responses are 'disappointing' - trust me - I've seen far harsher feedback and at the end of the day it's simply someone else's opinion being given - not a rule, the gospel truth or a magic formula to cure all problems.

It's what forums are essentially about!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To the original poster:

Didn't you come on here hoping for a "rough ride"? If so what are you complaining about?

j/k

Sorry, excuse my terrible sense of humour - the infant in me couldn't resist.

My twopennyworth: be yourself and don't let "the mob" browbeat you.

Good luck and remember, just be yourself.

If offering a few hard truths and what is effectively useful advice makes me part of the 'mob' - line me up and shoot me now!!

As for the subjects you find dull - why worry? There's no obligation to read, contribute or comment on any forum post!!

It's what forums are essentially about!!"

Hear Hear

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By *irralguy4funMan
over a year ago

Wallasey

"A breath of fresh air is when people stop coming on the forums moaning and belittling others with their so called observations about cliques etc.

Moaning, complaining and throwing blame around are such unattractive qualities and you wonder why you dont get any meets !! Perhaps FAB is not for you. "

After reading the responses on here there is a divide on the opinions that are clearly prevalent, couples and fems seem to be on a different site to the single guys.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dare not comment I wouldn't be in the forum for days

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A breath of fresh air is when people stop coming on the forums moaning and belittling others with their so called observations about cliques etc.

Moaning, complaining and throwing blame around are such unattractive qualities and you wonder why you dont get any meets !! Perhaps FAB is not for you.

After reading the responses on here there is a divide on the opinions that are clearly prevalent, couples and fems seem to be on a different site to the single guys. "

Pretty sure it's the same one!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A breath of fresh air is when people stop coming on the forums moaning and belittling others with their so called observations about cliques etc.

Moaning, complaining and throwing blame around are such unattractive qualities and you wonder why you dont get any meets !! Perhaps FAB is not for you.

After reading the responses on here there is a divide on the opinions that are clearly prevalent, couples and fems seem to be on a different site to the single guys. "

No, the divide is not as you describe. It's just you and the OP that have an opinion contrary to most on here.

Oh and this may be a couples [profile but I've played as a single guy and you and the OP are wrong with your sense of expectation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not easy being on here and you seem to have the expectation that at the least you deserve a reply to your messages, as a couple the one thing that bugs us the most is the number of messages we get from people who haven't read our profile, though we do try to reply to every message after the 10th "wanna Fuck" message of the day we give up and that's no different to a guy getting messages from tvs and bi guys when it's not something they are interested in. Fab for many is just a tool to enhance their lifestyle choice. Try to go to a social or a club to make your initial contacts it really is the best way to do it.

I have a single male profile on here and after 6 months I have 1 friend and that's this profile lol.

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By *irralguy4funMan
over a year ago

Wallasey

"It's not easy being on here and you seem to have the expectation that at the least you deserve a reply to your messages, as a couple the one thing that bugs us the most is the number of messages we get from people who haven't read our profile, though we do try to reply to every message after the 10th "wanna Fuck" message of the day we give up and that's no different to a guy getting messages from tvs and bi guys when it's not something they are interested in. Fab for many is just a tool to enhance their lifestyle choice. Try to go to a social or a club to make your initial contacts it really is the best way to do it.

I have a single male profile on here and after 6 months I have 1 friend and that's this profile lol."

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By *irralguy4funMan
over a year ago

Wallasey

I have a single male profile on here and after 6 months I have 1 friend and that's this profile lol."

Totally understand not replying to people that send 1 liners and don't match your preferences, i always read profiles fully, I only message those that I am within there preference and they are within mine, I compose each email to suit the profile I have just read, a simple no thanks is not too much to ask, or so I thought, I am clearly misguided in thinking I should be treated better than a letch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I want to know what the OP had on his profile about TV's so I can get indignant!

In my area the majority of single male profiles are of the faceless variety, have either been on for months/years usually with a text along the lines of "will fill in later". Or they delete and reappear on a regular basis. If you're very lucky they'll have a blurred cock pic.

And these profiles send out 3 word cut n paste mails every damn day to anyone without blocks in place.

These are the people who get your messages deleted without being read or replied to. Because we are sick of not having our profiles read.

I've never not replied to someone who has sent a decent mail and is what I'm looking for.

But what I hate is those on here with their expectations that because I'm online I'm dressed and ready to fuck. Or those who believe they deserve a reply, because you really don't. I don't know you from Adam, we have no prior relationship, so why do you feel you are owed politeness.

This isn't the real world its the internet, but even if it was and you came up to me in a bar and said hi, if you're not what I'm looking for I'm just as likely to blank you and walk away.

Remove all expectations of human nature and this site and deal with what's presented to you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a single male profile on here and after 6 months I have 1 friend and that's this profile lol.

Though I do understand that you feel you deserve enough respect to get and answer you need to respect that others don't feel that way, yes you may have done everything expected of you, yes you may have written a decent message but after all of that the recipient may have no interest. There people don't know you they don't know how you will react so some won't reply for fear of backlash, some because they feel actually you don't meet their criteria, others because they are too busy talking to people they want to meet and yes some because they can't be bothered. Some even block do you honestly think that all these people are being disrespectful of you? The common advise here is to move on is that bad advise?

Look at it this way, many people on here like to find out as much as they can about someone that messages them so here's a scenario, you message someone who you match perfectly, you write an awesome message, they read the message check your profile out and go "wow" they want to know more so they check out your verifications, all good there then the click the little green arrow and look at all the threads you have posted in and right away see your expectations and how you feel about other site users. That would be the deal breaker for many and based on what you have said here could mean no reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/08/13 16:49:01]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you approaching people that are looking for singles males?

Are you reading their profiles and ensuring you fit what they are looking for before you message?

Why do I ask these questions, because 9 out of 10 messages I receive are from guys who clearly haven't read my profile and don't match what I am looking for, so I delete and block message with no reply

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I get the impression that regardless what I post at this stage will, at least by one of you, be treated with disdain. And rightly so. It is a forum after all.

However, in my defence, I would like to address a few things.

Firstly I came to the site with a blank canvas of expectations. I certainly wouldn't be arrogant enough to think Im gods gift to women and I'm far from the 'fancy a fuck' brigade as some of you seemed to have branded me. As I put in my original, what was supposed to be, light hearted comment, I felt it unfair that some genuine blokes are clumped together the not so genuine. Simple as that really. So yeah, I take a little offense at that, and I'll stick by my opinion.

Having said that I'd like to thanks for the feedback, most of which has been helpful and positive, some of which has not. It would seem some people would rather just sound off than addressing the actual point which was brought to the table.

Most of all I'd like to thank those of you have messaged me ( guys and girls) with support and well wishes. In addition to this, regardless of wether or not you agree with me.....its helped me out massively with some meets

I have you ALL to thank for that.

Well done guys. Massive pat on the back.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Are you approaching people that are looking for singles males?

Are you reading their profiles and ensuring you fit what they are looking for before you message?

I can imagine. I'm a reader. I like to get to know people. So no, I don't just blanket send 'fancy a Fuck' messages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" I only message those that I am within there preference and they are within mine"

Bingo! There's the issue that many cannot comprehend!

There's a huge difference between meeting the loose criteria (sex, age, verified or not, newbie or not - the current filter options) that determine the ability to message someone - and those all important factors that can't be put on a profile - individual specific preferences, personal taste and attraction.

Just because you CAN message someone it does not follow that there's any obligation to reply. Personal choice is just that - very, very personal! Whilst you may feel you fit someone's 'preferences' the reality may be worlds apart!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I get the impression that regardless what I post at this stage will, at least by one of you, be treated with disdain. And rightly so. It is a forum after all.

However, in my defence, I would like to address a few things.

I have you ALL to thank for that.

Well done guys. Massive pat on the back."

Think you are mistaken you were not being accused of being part of the fancy a Fuck brigade please don't be defensive, the issue is is that often people get so many messages like that that they stop replying to people and you may get caught up in that all of the things said here are the standard advise you will get on fab. Reality is its bloody hard work, you or anyone deserve replies it can be disheartening after all your here for fun, to make friends and to enjoy new sexual experiences. Men are not top dog here because they are common so you need to work as hard here as out in the real world to get any interest. You have many things going for you those are the things to concentrate on, leave the negative feelings behind, as has been said try clubs and socials if your really brave try the chatrooms and things will get better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/08/13 17:15:42]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I get the impression that regardless what I post at this stage will, at least by one of you, be treated with disdain. And rightly so. It is a forum after all.

However, in my defence, I would like to address a few things.

I have you ALL to thank for that.

Well done guys. Massive pat on the back."

OP - never apologise for asking a question or having an opinion - both are your right!!

As for the feedback? You'll always get that which is constructive, that which is negative - and a variety that you'll either agree with or disagree with. The 2D world of the Internet means posts are often taken out of context, a minor moan becomes a rant, people misunderstand the point and that what looks like constructive criticism and feedback appears to be a personal slur and specific to just you. Generally it's just people giving their opinion as to how they see things for everyone - nothing personal!

So keep posting. There's never a bad subject.

But one final word of advice from me - don't fall into a common trap of blaming/claiming that the 'bad guys' affect you. Only YOU affect you - nobody else. Your success and enjoyment on here lies only at your own doorstep!

Good luck!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dam 1 year too old to message you lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Wise words fella. Wise words. Ever considered changing you name to obi wan?

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"To the original poster:

Didn't you come on here hoping for a "rough ride"? If so what are you complaining about?

j/k

Sorry, excuse my terrible sense of humour - the infant in me couldn't resist.

My twopennyworth: be yourself and don't let "the mob" browbeat you.

Good luck and remember, just be yourself."

Acerbic: but funny as fuck!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wise words fella. Wise words. Ever considered changing you name to obi wan?"

Nope! Some bastard would just stick a 'k' on the end!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And I'm 3 years too young for you. Guess we both need to reassess lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Wise words fella. Wise words. Ever considered changing you name to obi wan?

Nope! Some bastard would just stick a 'k' on the end!

Genuine lols

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

I have a single male profile on here and after 6 months I have 1 friend and that's this profile lol.

I've never been one of those females that get a zillion messages a day, so I could send "no thanks" if I wanted, but I don't waste my time on men outwith what I'm looking for.

You're assuming your message is the only one received. If women/couples get hundreds of messages a day, if they spend time sending "no thanks" to people they're NOT interested in, when will they have time for those they are?

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By *irralguy4funMan
over a year ago

Wallasey

[Removed by poster at 13/08/13 17:44:21]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wise words from Obi ( as always ) I dont think anyone has thrown any insults or berated anyone in this thread, just offered plain simple advice.

Being a newbie is hard enough let alone being a single male ! Take from FAB what you want and be true to yourself.

Enjoy

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By *irralguy4funMan
over a year ago

Wallasey

I have a single male profile on here and after 6 months I have 1 friend and that's this profile lol.

If expecting and giving respect is a deal breaker as you put it I would rather not be considered, all I ask for is politeness, because I don't know someone it dosnt mean I totaly blank them or that I am rude to them, this thread is deffinitely making me rethink if there are any people out there who have any sense of how to treat people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It would seem that there is a lot of conclusion jumping going on here. I simply wanted to get something off my chest.

was this not the correct forum to do so?"

Possibly not as it is the introduction's forum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a single male profile on here and after 6 months I have 1 friend and that's this profile lol.

Ok im gonna be blunt cos your clearly not getting it ?? Please do not pidgeon hole people or infer that they are rude or impolite.

No one has been rude to you yet you consistently seem to feel the need to profess that the majority of fab members are rude ignorant and impolite.

That is not the case. If you have had bad experiences with messages etc move on shrug it off. Your expectations and choices are not the same as others.

This site is about personal preference and if someone chooses not to reply that is their right and does not make the entire site full of impolite people.

Perhaps take a step back and reconsider why you are here and what you want because from where i stand it seems fab is not going to give you that.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

To put it bluntly and briefly, no-one on here is entitled to anything from the other members. We're not entitled to pics, friend requests, winks, or even replies.

If our lives become so entwined with Fab that the lack of said pics, friend requests, winks, and replies are marring our lives in any way, Fab is probably not the right site for us.

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By *irralguy4funMan
over a year ago

Wallasey

"To put it bluntly and briefly, no-one on here is entitled to anything from the other members. We're not entitled to pics, friend requests, winks, or even replies.

If our lives become so entwined with Fab that the lack of said pics, friend requests, winks, and replies are marring our lives in any way, Fab is probably not the right site for us."

Who mentioned pics, friend requests, winks? Think your are going off course slightly

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By *irralguy4funMan
over a year ago

Wallasey

From my short time on fab I frequently read in profiles that I must treat people and show them respect, this I agree with, I only ask for the same. That seems to be a crime!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"From my short time on fab I frequently read in profiles that I must treat people and show them respect, this I agree with, I only ask for the same. That seems to be a crime!"

So not replying is not showing you respect?

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover

It appears to have been stated time and again throughout this thread, and earlier quoted directly from FAB's own FAQs that an absence of reply should not be regarded as rude, and as a single guy I certainly don't think it is.

After sending a message to someone who interests me, (and I am selective basing my choice on a range of appropriate, relevant, and, above all realistic criteria), I check to see if the recipient looks at my profile, and am hopeful of a reply if she or they have.

If one doesn't come my way, I don't get annoyed or miffed, or feel that they are disrespecting me, I just carry on and take it all as part of how it works here : I don't feel entitled to a reply.

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By *irralguy4funMan
over a year ago

Wallasey

I totally and utterly despair! Am I speaking a different language?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

My original point was never about non-replies etc. I just meant....you know what.....

*lights fag,

*shrugs shoulders.....walks away

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By *irralguy4funMan
over a year ago

Wallasey

"My original point was never about non-replies etc. I just meant....you know what.....

*lights fag,

*shrugs shoulders.....walks away

You got a light?

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"To put it bluntly and briefly, no-one on here is entitled to anything from the other members. We're not entitled to pics, friend requests, winks, or even replies.

If our lives become so entwined with Fab that the lack of said pics, friend requests, winks, and replies are marring our lives in any way, Fab is probably not the right site for us.

Who mentioned pics, friend requests, winks? Think your are going off course slightly"

I'll just quote the relevant passage from the OP:

"On approaching people on here I just seem to get blanked, or blocked. What the hell? Won't anyone give the new guy a break lol"

Sure looks like he's commenting on not getting replies to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow tick tock people are so quick to jump on your back. I really can't see what you have done wrong. Most single guys feel the exact same way. It's a very hard life on here and very demoralising . But one thing I have learned is be very careful in the forums the so called 'seasoned swingers' are so quick to get into an argument with a newbie it is ridiculous.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A breath of fresh air is when people stop coming on the forums moaning and belittling others with their so called observations about cliques etc.

Moaning, complaining and throwing blame around are such unattractive qualities and you wonder why you dont get any meets !! Perhaps FAB is not for you.

After reading the responses on here there is a divide on the opinions that are clearly prevalent, couples and fems seem to be on a different site to the single guys.

No, the divide is not as you describe. It's just you and the OP that have an opinion contrary to most on here.

Oh and this may be a couples [profile but I've played as a single guy and you and the OP are wrong with your sense of expectation."

No. Your wrong with your presumptions about me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Wow tick tock people are so quick to jump on your back. I really can't see what you have done wrong. Most single guys feel the exact same way. It's a very hard life on here and very demoralising . But one thing I have learned is be very careful in the forums the so called 'seasoned swingers' are so quick to get into an argument with a newbie it is ridiculous.

Cheers dude. And the sentiment is greatly appreciated. I hopee however, your dressed for the shower of shit you've just let yourself in for

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By *irralguy4funMan
over a year ago

Wallasey

You got a light! Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cheers dude. And the sentiment is greatly appreciated. I hopee however, your dressed for the shower of shit you've just let yourself in for

don't think this forum thread went to plan did it?..good luck anyway xxx

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By *irralguy4funMan
over a year ago

Wallasey

Was there a plan?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Cheers dude. And the sentiment is greatly appreciated. I hopee however, your dressed for the shower of shit you've just let yourself in for

don't think this forum thread went to plan did it?..good luck anyway xxx"

I wasn't aware of any 'plan'. And thanks to thos forum I've spoke to some pretty awesome people on here. Soooo, yeeeer, worked out fine thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cheers dude. And the sentiment is greatly appreciated. I hopee however, your dressed for the shower of shit you've just let yourself in for

don't think this forum thread went to plan did it?..good luck anyway xxx

I wasn't aware of any 'plan'. And thanks to thos forum I've spoke to some pretty awesome people on here. Soooo, yeeeer, worked out fine thanks

I was actually being nice,I didn't mean anything by it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Cheers dude. And the sentiment is greatly appreciated. I hopee however, your dressed for the shower of shit you've just let yourself in for

don't think this forum thread went to plan did it?..good luck anyway xxx

I wasn't aware of any 'plan'. And thanks to thos forum I've spoke to some pretty awesome people on here. Soooo, yeeeer, worked out fine thanks

I was actually being nice,I didn't mean anything by it

I know, sorry. Must be my natural disposition to piss people off today x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cheers dude. And the sentiment is greatly appreciated. I hopee however, your dressed for the shower of shit you've just let yourself in for

don't think this forum thread went to plan did it?..good luck anyway xxx

I wasn't aware of any 'plan'. And thanks to thos forum I've spoke to some pretty awesome people on here. Soooo, yeeeer, worked out fine thanks

I was actually being nice,I didn't mean anything by it

I know, sorry. Must be my natural disposition to piss people off today x"

no problem,just a little mix up x

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

To be honest, and this is from a single female perspective, I filter out all newbies! Just a pity it only lasts for about 6 days, anyway, most newbies, do think this site is for instant gratification, and usually end up being shocked, when they get the rejection message after an ill advised first message!

Only last night, I received an 'I'm sorry, but if I offended you I apologise, where did I go wrong?'

I could only point out that the message he sent me, if he had said that face to face to someone in the pub, they would have received more than a 'No Thanks' response!

Seriously, some men really do have to grow a pair and engage their brains at time! And actually think for them selves....I know I always answer these type of threads with a 'it's not rocket science' remark, but apparently it must be!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are guys really that rude on this site ?? I have never been rude to anyone. I have even been let down by a verified couple after booking a hotel at there request and I wont be rude to another couple just because the last one didnt work out.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"Are guys really that rude on this site ?? I have never been rude to anyone. I have even been let down by a verified couple after booking a hotel at there request and I wont be rude to another couple just because the last one didnt work out."

Oh yes! I think a lot join this site and expect it to be 'dial a shag' and are so shocked, that the people they are contacting are actually real people with real feeling/preferences and do not want to meet them, as I said, if some of the people that sent me a message on here said that to my face in a pub, they would be left in no doubt, where they went wrong!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"To be honest, and this is from a single female perspective, I filter out all newbies! Just a pity it only lasts for about 6 days, anyway, most newbies, do think this site is for instant gratification, and usually end up being shocked, when they get the rejection message after an ill advised first message!

Only last night, I received an 'I'm sorry, but if I offended you I apologise, where did I go wrong?'

I could only point out that the message he sent me, if he had said that face to face to someone in the pub, they would have received more than a 'No Thanks' response!

Errmm. I'm not even sure where to start with this one, other than.....please see my past comments lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think when some people get negative comments they turn it into "your picking on me"

I dont really see that anyones been rude or treated you with distain.

At the end of the day I only interact with people on forum who come across as being nice, witty,sexy, interesting,friendly. I usually post on threads that interest me and occasionally ones that piss me off and very rare on ones like this!

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By *otwifeguyMan
over a year ago

Exeter

WELCOME TO FAB !!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yes they are..very

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think when some people get negative comments they turn it into "your picking on me"

I dont really see that anyones been rude or treated you with distain.

This is a good thing as I don't particularly feel that I have been treat with any sort of disdain or rudeness. Although it seems to be a common theme on this thread the people think I feel this way. Even though I have sent genuine thanks for the advice I've received on multiple of occasions.

I'm starting to think that even I was to just mash the keyboard with my face it may provoke the exact same reaction.

However, I digress.

I can only hope the this fall's into the former category for you. As I see it this is a very long thread and a lot to sit through if your not really enjoying it. Take it from me, I've read it a few times now and I'm bored shitless.

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By *irralguy4funMan
over a year ago

Wallasey

Well that was an interesting forum!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Slightly controversial opinion but maybe try getting a partner to swing with? it is much more fun that way and far easier to get something happening.

Trouble is for single guys the competition is fierce, and for every genuine bloke there are 10 marrieds or fake couples where it gets to the point that there is no interest in singles at all.

i was pleasantly surprised how many women are open to the concept once they get their heads around it, and those that couldnt where not compatible for me so i moved on and continued my search.

there is an old internet forum adage: 'no reply is an answer' and it applies here as much as the vanilla world. The first mistake the OP makes is comparing online to real life.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Slightly controversial opinion but maybe try getting a partner to swing with? it is much more fun that way and far easier to get something happening.

Trouble is for single guys the competition is fierce, and for every genuine bloke there are 10 marrieds or fake couples where it gets to the point that there is no interest in singles at all.

i was pleasantly surprised how many women are open to the concept once they get their heads around it, and those that couldnt where not compatible for me so i moved on and continued my search.

there is an old internet forum adage: 'no reply is an answer' and it applies here as much as the vanilla world. The first mistake the OP makes is comparing online to real life.

Nope I'm quite able to differentiate between the two thanks. I mean I've never leant over to an attractive work colleague and casually passed them a picture of my cock. Not yet anyway.

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By *lentyoffun40Couple
over a year ago

Lancashire

Maybe a different slant on it From us ,

Some people on here are just plainly rude , ignorant and so far up their own arse it's untrue !

Sometimes what ever you say , you can't win !

We try to reply to every email , it takes a minute to say thanks but no thanks !

It's that simple

We often wonder why some people who don't like all the attention from single guys don't actually make it easy for themselves and just block all single males from mailing them ! Problem solved !

Too many people on here actually miss the point , yes nobody owes any body anything , but at the end of the day it's a site were people want to meet others for sex .. Is it too much to be civil an just reply to say no thanks ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We all start at the bottom there is no king or queen here simply thing build up good friends and meets here then roll on upwards but if someone don't want to talk or whatnot pass it dude not the end of the world you probably better off but can't see it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Too right _lentyoffun40. I couldn't agree with you more. I mean who runs this place anyway? The sex Nazis?

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By *istress-MazikeenWoman
over a year ago

bolton

"Too right _lentyoffun40. I couldn't agree with you more. I mean who runs this place anyway? The sex Nazis?

That comment has done you no good what so ever.

Everyone is different, everyone has preferences, and everyone can choose to do what they want, be it a reply or not.

Most single women do not reply as they have had enough of men not reading a profile, a classic I have had this morning already.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hang in there mate, I've been on for two months now.and yes made some friends, but so far no meets.

Show people respect and in return they will offer the same.

Bloody frustrating though lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

but at the end of the day it's a site were people want to meet others for sex .. Is it too much to be civil an just reply to say no thanks ? "

I'll leave it to you to work out what is so hilarious about this paragraph!

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover

"Slightly controversial opinion but maybe try getting a partner to swing with? it is much more fun that way and far easier to get something happening.

Trouble is for single guys the competition is fierce, and for every genuine bloke there are 10 marrieds or fake couples where it gets to the point that there is no interest in singles at all.

i was pleasantly surprised how many women are open to the concept once they get their heads around it, and those that couldnt where not compatible for me so i moved on and continued my search.

there is an old internet forum adage: 'no reply is an answer' and it applies here as much as the vanilla world. The first mistake the OP makes is comparing online to real life.

Nope I'm quite able to differentiate between the two thanks. I mean I've never leant over to an attractive work colleague and casually passed them a picture of my cock. Not yet anyway."

I think the more serious point that seasidecapers was making is the significance of a no reply on the internet as opposed to being ignored in real life, which of course is rude.

So many messages on this thread have explained that crucial difference.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

need to ask fab for a facepalm emoticon

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yeah, after reading through these comments I've come to realise that

1) some people must have had a sense of humor bypass at a very early age.

2) whatever I say will be met with an almost snobbish rebuke by at least someone.

And

3) judging by the feedback in my inbox, by both seasoned swingers and newbies alike, I'm not the only one that feels this way.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Slightly controversial opinion but maybe try getting a partner to swing with? it is much more fun that way and far easier to get something happening.

Trouble is for single guys the competition is fierce, and for every genuine bloke there are 10 marrieds or fake couples where it gets to the point that there is no interest in singles at all.

i was pleasantly surprised how many women are open to the concept once they get their heads around it, and those that couldnt where not compatible for me so i moved on and continued my search.

there is an old internet forum adage: 'no reply is an answer' and it applies here as much as the vanilla world. The first mistake the OP makes is comparing online to real life.

Nope I'm quite able to differentiate between the two thanks. I mean I've never leant over to an attractive work colleague and casually passed them a picture of my cock. Not yet anyway.

I think the more serious point that seasidecapers was making is the significance of a no reply on the internet as opposed to being ignored in real life, which of course is rude.

So many messages on this thread have explained that crucial difference."

I was entirely aware of that point. I was making a joke. Humour seems to be a very rare commodity here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeah, after reading through these comments I've come to realise that

1) some people must have had a sense of humor bypass at a very early age.

2) whatever I say will be met with an almost snobbish rebuke by at least someone.

And

3) judging by the feedback in my inbox, by both seasoned swingers and newbies alike, I'm not the only one that feels this way."

It does not matter what you think your a single male who cares

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope I'm quite able to differentiate between the two thanks. I mean I've never leant over to an attractive work colleague and casually passed them a picture of my cock. Not yet anyway.

I think the more serious point that seasidecapers was making is the significance of a no reply on the internet as opposed to being ignored in real life, which of course is rude.

So many messages on this thread have explained that crucial difference.

I was entirely aware of that point. I was making a joke. Humour seems to be a very rare commodity here."

1. Humour may simply get lost in a thread where the subject invokes a passionate response.

2. Humour compatibility.

3. Sometimes hard to distinguish humour in the written form.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yeah, after reading through these comments I've come to realise that

1) some people must have had a sense of humor bypass at a very early age.

2) whatever I say will be met with an almost snobbish rebuke by at least someone.

And

3) judging by the feedback in my inbox, by both seasoned swingers and newbies alike, I'm not the only one that feels this way.

It does not matter what you think your a single male who cares

Indeed lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Nope I'm quite able to differentiate between the two thanks. I mean I've never leant over to an attractive work colleague and casually passed them a picture of my cock. Not yet anyway.

I think the more serious point that seasidecapers was making is the significance of a no reply on the internet as opposed to being ignored in real life, which of course is rude.

So many messages on this thread have explained that crucial difference.

I was entirely aware of that point. I was making a joke. Humour seems to be a very rare commodity here.

1. Humour may simply get lost in a thread where the subject invokes a passionate response.

2. Humour compatibility.

3. Sometimes hard to distinguish humour in the written form.

Please refer to point one of my original statement

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By *lentyoffun40Couple
over a year ago

Lancashire

but at the end of the day it's a site were people want to meet others for sex .. Is it too much to be civil an just reply to say no thanks ?

I'll leave it to you to work out what is so hilarious about this paragraph!

You know exactly what I'm getting at

So no need to try and be a smart arse !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeah, after reading through these comments I've come to realise that

1) some people must have had a sense of humor bypass at a very early age.

2) whatever I say will be met with an almost snobbish rebuke by at least someone.

And

3) judging by the feedback in my inbox, by both seasoned swingers and newbies alike, I'm not the only one that feels this way."

1. Personally my sense of humour doesn't really find whining or self pitying funny. Nor the not even close to funny sex Nazi's "quip".

2. So not agreeing with you and offering advice which is the vast majority of posts on this thread is snobbery? How so?

3. Call me a cynic but i have yet to be convinced the argument of the mythical PM's of support when a thread doesn't go the way the OP hoped.

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By *ustcutieWoman
over a year ago

edinburgh

It's ok op I'm sure with all the supportive pm's your getting you will get a meet, get verified and will no longer be a newbie

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We had a guy send a message to us the other day with the usual "wanna fuck" one liner to which we replied no thanks the next message from him said "fuck you then" now he had been here less than a fortnight no pics no veris and couldnt travel or accom

What does a person like that have to offer ? nothing, what did he get in return ? Reported for being a twat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeah, after reading through these comments I've come to realise that

1) some people must have had a sense of humor bypass at a very early age.

2) whatever I say will be met with an almost snobbish rebuke by at least someone.

And

3) judging by the feedback in my inbox, by both seasoned swingers and newbies alike, I'm not the only one that feels this way.

1. Personally my sense of humour doesn't really find whining or self pitying funny. Nor the not even close to funny sex Nazi's "quip".

2. So not agreeing with you and offering advice which is the vast majority of posts on this thread is snobbery? How so?

3. Call me a cynic but i have yet to be convinced the argument of the mythical PM's of support when a thread doesn't go the way the OP hoped.

this thread is hilarious..especialy when 2 weeks ago i had a messege from a certain guy asking to meet me..yet day i said was free and to messege me...tadahhh nothing

happens all time though and is funny

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By *coobysMan
over a year ago

north west lancs

My advice go to some clubs a few times. Spend time getting to know some of the people there maybe have some fun. You will then get a few verifications which will show as you say you are good guy and will help you to get meets but be patient good luck

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yeah, after reading through these comments I've come to realise that

1) some people must have had a sense of humor bypass at a very early age.

2) whatever I say will be met with an almost snobbish rebuke by at least someone.

And

3) judging by the feedback in my inbox, by both seasoned swingers and newbies alike, I'm not the only one that feels this way.

1. Personally my sense of humour doesn't really find whining or self pitying funny. Nor the not even close to funny sex Nazi's "quip".

2. So not agreeing with you and offering advice which is the vast majority of posts on this thread is snobbery? How so?

3. Call me a cynic but i have yet to be convinced the- argument of the mythical PM's of support when a thread doesn't go the way the OP hoped.

I've tried to ignore you because I found you confrontational from the outset. But now you have my attention. You must be proud

If you've botherd to have read my comments rather than go immediately go on the defensive regarding my original post, you would have found that I've remained both polite and upbeat throughout this. If you don't find me funny, then I have a simple solution. Stop reading. Simple really. Again your grasp of this thread is somewhat loose. I've haven't said snobbery is the underlying current, not in any way shape or form. I am hinting at the fact that you can't please everyone all of the time. As for your third point. Well I guess you'll never know now will you. Although the intonation would be that I'm a liar. I would normally vehemently rebuke such an accusation, but your just not worth my time in doing so. I'm not sure what hasn't gone my way exact 'gone my way'. This would imply that I had a preconceived idea of the way this forum would go. Is that even possible considering how inherently random human nature is?

I'm looking forward to your response because unlike yourself with me, I find you hilarious.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is this still going lol ??

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is this still going lol ??

Unfortunately.

I should just walk away.

It's just simply not in my nature not to defend my opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is this still going lol ??

Unfortunately.

I should just walk away.

It's just simply not in my nature not to defend my opinion."

An admirable quality

But in here possibly wasted bud as you will always be up against others opinions and views

Shake it off , move on and get messaging some hot chicks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeah, after reading through these comments I've come to realise that

1) some people must have had a sense of humor bypass at a very early age.

2) whatever I say will be met with an almost snobbish rebuke by at least someone.

And

3) judging by the feedback in my inbox, by both seasoned swingers and newbies alike, I'm not the only one that feels this way.

1. Personally my sense of humour doesn't really find whining or self pitying funny. Nor the not even close to funny sex Nazi's "quip".

2. So not agreeing with you and offering advice which is the vast majority of posts on this thread is snobbery? How so?

3. Call me a cynic but i have yet to be convinced the- argument of the mythical PM's of support when a thread doesn't go the way the OP hoped.

I've tried to ignore you because I found you confrontational from the outset. But now you have my attention. You must be proud

I'm looking forward to your response because unlike yourself with me, I find you hilarious.

Ultimately I'm not the one that is unverified and moaning about a lack of meets... And I never struggled as a single guy either. So I must be doing something right.

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By *tuAvrCouple
over a year ago

SOUTHAMPTON

"Will say that cock pictures do put a lot of women off, as seen one seen them all.

Hope you find what your looking for. x"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op good for you for sticking to your guns and also defending your opinion in such an articulate way.

You will always get some people on here who thinks its their way or your doing it wrong. Good luck with your time here.

It's a no from us though.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yeah, after reading through these comments I've come to realise that

1) some people must have had a sense of humor bypass at a very early age.

2) whatever I say will be met with an almost snobbish rebuke by at least someone.

And

3) judging by the feedback in my inbox, by both seasoned swingers and newbies alike, I'm not the only one that feels this way.

1. Personally my sense of humour doesn't really find whining or self pitying funny. Nor the not even close to funny sex Nazi's "quip".

2. So not agreeing with you and offering advice which is the vast majority of posts on this thread is snobbery? How so?

3. Call me a cynic but i have yet to be convinced the- argument of the mythical PM's of support when a thread doesn't go the way the OP hoped.

I've tried to ignore you because I found you confrontational from the outset. But now you have my attention. You must be proud

I'm looking forward to your response because unlike yourself with me, I find you hilarious.

Ultimately I'm not the one that is unverified and moaning about a lack of meets... And I never struggled as a single guy either. So I must be doing something right.

Again, that was not the point of my original post nor have I ever moaned about such a thing. Not very astute are you? I'm sure it will come with time, and if doesn't there's always the real world. Please respond again. I'd love another opportunity to ignore you mmmmmwah x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Op good for you for sticking to your guns and also defending your opinion in such an articulate way.

You will always get some people on here who thinks its their way or your doing it wrong. Good luck with your time here.

It's a no from us though.

Thanks

Yeah, can't say I blame you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeah, after reading through these comments I've come to realise that

1) some people must have had a sense of humor bypass at a very early age.

2) whatever I say will be met with an almost snobbish rebuke by at least someone.

And

3) judging by the feedback in my inbox, by both seasoned swingers and newbies alike, I'm not the only one that feels this way.

1. Personally my sense of humour doesn't really find whining or self pitying funny. Nor the not even close to funny sex Nazi's "quip".

2. So not agreeing with you and offering advice which is the vast majority of posts on this thread is snobbery? How so?

3. Call me a cynic but i have yet to be convinced the- argument of the mythical PM's of support when a thread doesn't go the way the OP hoped.

I've tried to ignore you because I found you confrontational from the outset. But now you have my attention. You must be proud

I'm looking forward to your response because unlike yourself with me, I find you hilarious.

Ultimately I'm not the one that is unverified and moaning about a lack of meets... And I never struggled as a single guy either. So I must be doing something right.

Sorry my mistake, it's just that when you started a thread entitled "What's with the newbie/single male hate?" and with an opening post that contained the lines "On approaching people on here I just seem to get blanked, or blocked. What the hell?" and "The issue seems to be that I'm a single male with a somewhat 'newbie' status" I took that (as did numerous others on the thread) as a whinge that you weren't getting meets?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

but at the end of the day it's a site were people want to meet others for sex .. Is it too much to be civil an just reply to say no thanks ?

I'll leave it to you to work out what is so hilarious about this paragraph!

You know exactly what I'm getting at

So no need to try and be a smart arse !"

Hahaha that depends if you know what I find hilarious

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

I consider myself a new guy,

my suggestion op is continue to be polite respesctful humourous and above all be patient,

The site is but one avenue, there are clubs and socials where you can meet like minded adults,

Have fun,,

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By *lentyoffun40Couple
over a year ago

Lancashire

Oh I do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Will have to give ticktock79 his due, a rare male that actually reads a profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Despite the fact that this all got a little heated at times it really is refreshing to be on a site where people can argue their points articulately and well.

I look forward to being part of this community full of such interesting people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I(fem) delete single male messages without reading most of the time, there's too many to go through and our profile should say(M keeps changing it!) we will contact them. Our first meet was with a single male and we still message him/hope to meet again. He read our profile though, put us at ease and is just generally a nice bloke, I think we have one other single male on our friend list because I lurk on here and he's a funny guy

Sorry to say I wouldn't even look at your profile, I'd delete without reading the message as we aren't interested, it's not personal though! You can't win 'em all either, most couples would be seriously turned off by cock pics.....I love them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm pretty new to this site myself and I'll say for a single guy looking to meet single women (without all the swinging clubs etc) the best thing to do is pretend it's plentyoffish, i.e. just a dating website.

If you're messaging women asking for sex they won't respond. However, if you come up with a decent opening message you'll find you will get a response, not every message but if you spend a good half an hour sending messages you'll get a few back.

The way I see it is half an hour is a small price to pay to meet someone who is like minded and looking for the same thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm new here too and had lots of rejection. Trying not to take it too personally as like many have said some people must receive dozens of messages a day and haven't got time to go through them all.. Plus I recognise that I'm no Brad Pitt or Hugh Jackman and some people have high standards. So be it. As I have standards too. But like anything else, if you're patient, keep you're composure and be yourself, you'll find someone who will think you're irresistible.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

people are just very quick to turn any disagreeing post into a "they are picking on me" and then the victim mentality comes out......

then the rude not to reply posts start... and then when people disagree, the victim mentality again comes out....

here is a piece of advice.. its my favourite saying at the moment...

"don't sweat the small stuff!"

people will find there way, usually the expecatations are far too high... and the reality for some of ego being crushed is too much and they vent...

watch, listen, learn..... add to that a basic dose of some good old common sense which seems to go mission fairly often, and you'll do well

some people here will never do "sugar-coating" because that doesn't get to the heart of the issue.... and those who don't learn from their mistakes are doomed to repeat them....

people don't have to listen to advice... no one if holding a gun to their heads.... however if they don't listen, and the same thing keeps happened... can't say you weren't told!!!

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By *rimehertsguyMan
over a year ago

hertfordshire

Not ok to show cock pics but ok to show tits and fanny us guys like the suprise to so a face and clothed pic goes a long way x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Will give the standard for this type of forum post.

A lot of the guys that have given you advice are very successful on here and would have been new at some point. Best thing to do is listen to what they say ultimately its down to you if you do or not.

It's not about hate or discrimination against singles. We don't meet newbies over the Internet but of course if we see them at a club or social we would chat with them.

As for the folk saying its bad manners not to reply to emails on here it clearly states in the Q & A that no body has to. Plus look at it from someone else's point of view if they are looking for a meet and they have 50 emails if they take the time to reply to every message they would never have time to look for what they want.

We did start off writing replies only to get one back saying why not or but I can ect ect. Best just to move on

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By *irralguy4funMan
over a year ago

Wallasey

Been away for 2 weeks and see quite a few posts since I been away, come to

Decision that hey, if you don't answer me so what, it's not personal and this isn't the real world, it's a dating site with a kinky name!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Been away for 2 weeks and see quite a few posts since I been away, come to

Decision that hey, if you don't answer me so what, it's not personal and this isn't the real world, it's a dating site with a kinky name!"

It's not a dating site, it's a swinging site !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"people are just very quick to turn any disagreeing post into a "they are picking on me" and then the victim mentality comes out......

then the rude not to reply posts start... and then when people disagree, the victim mentality again comes out....

here is a piece of advice.. its my favourite saying at the moment...

"don't sweat the small stuff!"

people will find there way, usually the expecatations are far too high... and the reality for some of ego being crushed is too much and they vent...

watch, listen, learn..... add to that a basic dose of some good old common sense which seems to go mission fairly often, and you'll do well

some people here will never do "sugar-coating" because that doesn't get to the heart of the issue.... and those who don't learn from their mistakes are doomed to repeat them....

people don't have to listen to advice... no one if holding a gun to their heads.... however if they don't listen, and the same thing keeps happened... can't say you weren't told!!!

----- This is one guy who always reply's in a positive and sincere way, good on you Fabio ----

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"people are just very quick to turn any disagreeing post into a "they are picking on me" and then the victim mentality comes out......

then the rude not to reply posts start... and then when people disagree, the victim mentality again comes out....

here is a piece of advice.. its my favourite saying at the moment...

"don't sweat the small stuff!"

people will find there way, usually the expecatations are far too high... and the reality for some of ego being crushed is too much and they vent...

watch, listen, learn..... add to that a basic dose of some good old common sense which seems to go mission fairly often, and you'll do well

some people here will never do "sugar-coating" because that doesn't get to the heart of the issue.... and those who don't learn from their mistakes are doomed to repeat them....

people don't have to listen to advice... no one if holding a gun to their heads.... however if they don't listen, and the same thing keeps happened... can't say you weren't told!!!

----- This is one guy who always reply's in a positive and sincere way, good on you Fabio ----"

***** replies *****

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By *ubberdollieWoman
over a year ago

Stoke

Too many posts to read but i would avoid any bloke who puts' love to make a woman squirt' cos it just sounds like you are yet another bloke after what i have named a ' certificate in squirtation' and the fact u arent fussy, big big turn off!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At the end of the day its a womans body if she doesn't want you thats it,If she does want you she will find the single man she wants patience xxx

Her body her rules !!!!

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