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Creating the right impression?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

How do you strike the right balance when introducing yourself? Feels like I have more misses that hits. Yes I know that the sheer weight of males on this site out weighs the single females, but I would of thought manners and a little bit of a cheeky sense of humour would go along away?

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

Here's the funny thing about creating an impression: its nothing to do with you - its all down to the readers perception.

Some people will pre-judge, some will approach as though its the first profile they've ever seen,... everyone else is in between. The only thing you can do is communicate who you are, what you seek (and in some cases, not seek) and let fate do the rest.

Some will think you're the bees knees, some will think you're arrogant for daring to suggest you have a choice in what you want.. its all relative.

In the meantime, chill, have a laugh, and happy swinging!

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By *ucy and CarlCouple
over a year ago

Broadstairs

First thing please don't send cock pics. Before sending any email read the God Damn profile properly first. 95% of the guys on here think that reading the profile is just looking at the pics. Then send more then just one line say a little bit about yourself. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never normally reply to these but this one got me interested...'misses' and 'hits' - what's that about?

Fair enough you use a computer to look at Fab but it's not a shoot 'em up game mate and using this sort of language implies certain things about you which you might not want implied - whether actually the case or not.

Lots of good advice in above replies, especially Ahabs but although the advice from L & C regarding cock pics might apply to them it may not to all others, some people insist on cock shot so always read profiles.

My advice is to make it personal, to both you and person you are messaging. That doesn't mean be a creepy weirdo (not saying you are) and don't tell people your life story (hint hint - a bit of mystery goes a long way, your profile has too much person info) but if you're sending out copy and pasted messages then people can tell and why would they bother to reply. Again i'm not saying you are, just giving extreme example to make the point. If you feel genuine attraction to a person because of their profile then tell them why, let them know what you thought and why you'd like to meet them, you're far more likely to get a response if you are genuine.

As a side note what you think is 'cheeky humour' might not read as funny to someone else - maybe you're a comedy genius but writing jokes can be slippery territory so tread carefully.

I'm backing the manners 100% though! It's nice to be important but it's more important to be nice.

Hope this is of some help

Mr BW x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How do you strike the right balance when introducing yourself? Feels like I have more misses that hits. Yes I know that the sheer weight of males on this site out weighs the single females, but I would of thought manners and a little bit of a cheeky sense of humour would go along away? "

Make your messages personal and include pictures even if you have them on your profile. Often I look at the messages with ones attached only.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At one meet i wore a fez and mimicked tommy cooper is that what you mean

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just be your self - as the old adage goes - you can't please everyone all of the time. As a fellow (happily) single guy I appreciate your frustration but I can't stress enough that perseverance is the key here. As long as you have clearly defined what you're seeking from Fab & you pursue it with an open mind & good manners, you won't go far wrong. And if it doesn't work - what have you lost? Nothing! Best of luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're a good looking bloke so I doubt it's you. However girls do get pestered on here and are less likely to give a single bloke a chance. Plus you can think what you're saying is a bit cheeky with a good sense of humour, however things aren't always read in the right context and can be taken the wrong way. Oh and pictures of your cock are a huge turn off, I don't get why so many men have the same pic over ad over again of the same appendage x

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By *hinaManMan
over a year ago

Twickenham


"Here's the funny thing about creating an impression: its nothing to do with you - its all down to the readers perception.

Some people will pre-judge, some will approach as though its the first profile they've ever seen,... everyone else is in between. The only thing you can do is communicate who you are, what you seek (and in some cases, not seek) and let fate do the rest.

Some will think you're the bees knees, some will think you're arrogant for daring to suggest you have a choice in what you want.. its all relative.

In the meantime, chill, have a laugh, and happy swinging!"

Can't have said it better myself.

I appreciate where OP is coming from though - a little bit disheartening when you spend 15mins writing a well constructed and thoughtful message only to see it immediately deleted.

I say just enjoy the opportunities that arise and manage your expectations otherwise you will end up disappointed.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks for all the advice, the post was born out of frustration of going to the effort of personalising messages but also retaining a little of my personality in the introduction, adhering to all the rules in place, include this phrase so I know you've read my whole profile etc and then the message sits there unread for days upon days

But the guys above are correct, i'll make the most of all the opportunities available and keep the old chin up, as at the end of the day, nothing ventured nothing gained

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex


"Thanks for all the advice, the post was born out of frustration of going to the effort of personalising messages but also retaining a little of my personality in the introduction, adhering to all the rules in place, include this phrase so I know you've read my whole profile etc and then the message sits there unread for days upon days

But the guys above are correct, i'll make the most of all the opportunities available and keep the old chin up, as at the end of the day, nothing ventured nothing gained"

I'll tell this - even though Fabs was not my first wing site, as I was advised to try Fabs having been on 3 other sites (all paid subscription by the way) so I had been swinging a couple of years at least, and I recognised faces and profile names form other sites, it STILL took me a year to get my first meet off Fabs.

The reason? I was not verified (on Fabs) and hence could not prove I was genuine... even though I had tons on other sites and had even hosted parties and get-togethers through those sites.

I even went to a social in Notts/Derby and was accused (by a stranger) of being married with a wife at home.. when at the time my greatest sin was being in chat in my bedroom (living alone) till late hours and falling asleep on cam, some would phone me to wake me and send me off to bed (the bed was behind me on cam).

Yes someone had the cheek to say I had a wife at home and hence was instantly ostracised at said social. Only a year later the person that made the accusation bumped into me at another social, and having been confronted by a friend who knew and could vouch for me personally, apologised as having got me mixed up with someone else (despite announcing to the whole social attendance I was a married man cheating on his wife!)

Basically, sometimes its nothing about what you do to initiate. Just enjoy the ride!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with a great deal of the advice above. I would add that the abbreviation "lol" in a profile is a big turnoff for me. I think it's because it's a lie.

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