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"Welcome to Fab and the lifestyle. We've had a few mfm meets (to put it mildly) and here is how we go about finding suitable men. Firstly, as you're both new I'd suggest finding a man that is well versed in the lifestyle, ideally with a good few verifications from couples, a man that has a well polished and thought out profile is a big bonus as it shows a level of attention and care. Most of the deciding for us comes from the messaging though as you can quickly pick up on things that you may like or dislike. For example...when a male starts addressing only one of us rather than the couple or starts to speak in an overly dominant or controlling way, the conversation ends and we move onto someone else. This is all down to what you like, but generally...if it feels off then don't proceed. But above all make sure you both agree with the choice and all three of you are on the same page. A good man will always ask what your boundaries are and you should do the same back. They aren't just a toy to be used, they are human beings and want to enjoy it as much as you and if you go in with the attitude of everyone should have fun your experience will be much better. The first time will be the scariest (sometimes we still get nervous now, but not like the first), but remember...the guy will be nervous too, sometimes an icebreaker at the pub is a good way to see how you all feel. We personally like to just dive straight in these days, but when we first started we'd begin by kissing each other and then inviting the guy to start kissing vixen too. Nerves drop off pretty rapidly once the blood starts flowing. But the most important advice is this...it's your Journey, and it should be done at your pace...don't let yourself feel pressured, it should be organic and enjoyable. There is absolutely nothing wrong with going to clubs, having people round or going to places to meet and doing nothing sexual. Best of luck with your adventures x" Absolutely really well put and virtually identical to how we started out on this journey, many, many moons ago... | |||
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"MFM for me is about understanding boundaries. If it’s a single lady and she’s chosen two guys, all need to know who’s straight or bi. So that lines are not crossed… Some girls prefer bi guys as they like to watch. Not my thing but each to their own. A couple introducing another male, they need to be comfortable with him, perhaps offer a safe word so he knows when to stop or back off. Iv been I a situation where without me knowing the guy walked off. When we had finished, he had a row with his missus! No one had deliberately pushed him out, he chose to leave. But perhaps a safe word would have helped us all stop and prevent the following arguments I now keep an eye on the male to ensure he’s still engaging and seems happy. If not then I stop and sit back, allowing them to reconnect and if I feel it’s not right, I’ll make my excuse and leave them alone. So be aware of all the others, are they engaging, has one checked out? Or left the group? " Great post | |||
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"Before Andy and mines first 3some, we chatted for a while, told him our limits, met for a social first, when home discussed it together, then invited him to ours the next say. I showered dressed in a basque stockings, a long dress, buttoned up ghe front. He arrived, glass of wine and Andy and I started kissing, while he watched, Andy unbuttoned my dress and then invited him to join us. " | |||
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