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Married and wife gone off sex completely

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By *ervyoldman OP   Man
5 weeks ago

TELFORD

Well here goes! Firstly I'm married, I love my wife but she has totally gone off sex, yes we've talked and she's just not interested. She knows I need it but I haven't told her about this profile. On top of this going without sex for so long has affected my performance, ie; cumming too quick! I've explained to her that if I had regular encounters I'm sure I'd get better, so, yes, I'm looking for someone to help me with this. Hopefully I'll get something in my inbox from this!

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By *sp1979Man
5 weeks ago

Leighton Buzzard

I'm in exactly the same situation mate, she's just not interested and having sex once every 2-3 months is plenty for her. I'm always horny hence profile on here although so far, unsuccessful😆 I don't want it every day,although would be nice, but once a week at the the weekend would be great to start with. Tried everything I can, massages, foot rubs doing everything I can to help in the house and with kids etc, and nothing works. Run out of ideas

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By *ervyoldman OP   Man
5 weeks ago

TELFORD

It's not just me then

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By *ch228Man
5 weeks ago

Horley


"It's not just me then"

No. Same boat for a couple of years.

Didn’t want to pester her. So I have now been on here for a while.

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By *ilverfox for youMan
5 weeks ago

Hull

Another guy here in same boat !!!! 20 yrs without would you believe ! Yet we get slated for looking on here !!! But it seems ok for married women to be on here !

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By *lackjack1stMan
5 weeks ago

London

You may not be aware of this but withholding sex is a common form of domestic abuse.

Thats not to say one should force the issue, but if you have spoken with each and they still not interested.

Essentially it's a form of control.

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By *nterthegameMan
5 weeks ago

leigh on sea

I’ve not had sex with wife for four years , she is just not interested at all. Likewise affected my performance as got so used to just wanking instead. Tried talking to her about it but falls on deaf ears. She doesn’t know I’m on here but the guilt has long since left me…. Not that I get hardly any action via here either!

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By *exyfred76Man
5 weeks ago

Cheshire

Same here I went 11 years without hence why am on here hoping for a regular person given the chance

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By *immyboyxxMan
5 weeks ago

london

So many of us in the same boat

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By *inkyfingers777Man
5 weeks ago

Bournemouth

It’s all to common unfortunately.

Mine lost all interest few years back and then usual excuses followed by trying to make the problem mine.

It’s such a shame as I love her deeply but there is no doubt it has a negative effect on other parts of life.

And as other people say it also affects your own performance and mental health.

A very sad and troubling situation indeed for all those in same boat!

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By *ozoMan
5 weeks ago

New Milton

Afternoon guys,it's been 7 years for me,menopause completely turned my wife off.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

5 weeks ago

East Sussex


"You may not be aware of this but withholding sex is a common form of domestic abuse.

Thats not to say one should force the issue, but if you have spoken with each and they still not interested.

Essentially it's a form of control."

How are these men being controlled? They feel free to seek sex elsewhere

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By *YDB75Man
5 weeks ago

Beverley

What time is boarding into this boat we all share

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By *rasshopper201Man
5 weeks ago

kendal

I my in the same boat 5 years but got a leg over 1 month back couldn’t really call it that as she came then just rolled over didn’t try to make me cum I like the thought that it’s control over us never thought of it that way

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By *sp1979Man
5 weeks ago

Leighton Buzzard

[Removed by poster at 09/06/25 16:52:54]

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

5 weeks ago

East Sussex


"I my in the same boat 5 years but got a leg over 1 month back couldn’t really call it that as she came then just rolled over didn’t try to make me cum I like the thought that it’s control over us never thought of it that way "

Can you explain in what way you feel controlled? I'm not disagreeing I'd genuinely like to know.

I can understand that a woman or man might withhold sex to try and make a partner do something e.g. 'I'm not having sex with you until you but me a pair of Jimmy Choos/new car/Harley' and controlling that way.

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By *lueDressWoman
5 weeks ago

Bath

I lost my sex drive when I was with my second partner. I left him in 1998. I realised it wasn't going to work because I had gone off him, not sex.

As soon as I met someone who I found attractive I was back on the horse. Riding. I've never gone off sex but I have gone off people.

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By *arried curious guyMan
5 weeks ago

Motherwell


"I my in the same boat 5 years but got a leg over 1 month back couldn’t really call it that as she came then just rolled over didn’t try to make me cum I like the thought that it’s control over us never thought of it that way

Can you explain in what way you feel controlled? I'm not disagreeing I'd genuinely like to know.

I can understand that a woman or man might withhold sex to try and make a partner do something e.g. 'I'm not having sex with you until you but me a pair of Jimmy Choos/new car/Harley' and controlling that way."

I think that's a very interesting question, but maybe you should answer it in private

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

5 weeks ago

East Sussex


"I my in the same boat 5 years but got a leg over 1 month back couldn’t really call it that as she came then just rolled over didn’t try to make me cum I like the thought that it’s control over us never thought of it that way

Can you explain in what way you feel controlled? I'm not disagreeing I'd genuinely like to know.

I can understand that a woman or man might withhold sex to try and make a partner do something e.g. 'I'm not having sex with you until you but me a pair of Jimmy Choos/new car/Harley' and controlling that way. I think that's a very interesting question, but maybe you should answer it in private"

Answer my own question?

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By *rasshopper201Man
5 weeks ago

kendal

I mean my wife likes to do everything clothes me all ways seems to know more than me wants me to always help around the house even when I’m working a 14 hour day sometimes I just think that most women /wife’s get bored of the same old stuff and always want better or more excited life sometimes I don’t think she loves me when I talk to friends about there wife’s they all seem in very similar relationships

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By *ddingextraspiceCouple
5 weeks ago

cumbria


"I lost my sex drive when I was with my second partner. I left him in 1998. I realised it wasn't going to work because I had gone off him, not sex.

As soon as I met someone who I found attractive I was back on the horse. Riding. I've never gone off sex but I have gone off people."

My wife lost interest in sex with her last husband, but then had an affair with his best friend. She split from her husband and I met her, she was a horny slur and I loved it. She used to still fuck her ex husbands friend and also met people in clubs with me etc. but now she has no interest in me and says she doe t want sex with others, but I agree that if she met the right guy, it would get her back enjoying sex. I’d love her to find someone to reignite her sex drive.

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By *ervyoldman OP   Man
5 weeks ago

TELFORD

Now I just need to find the elusive willing female

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By *heonixrising500Man
5 weeks ago

Barnsley

I love mine but she only wants sex once a mouth so i now on fab

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By *aughty-nikkiTV/TS
5 weeks ago

Newcatle

DM me boys. Love being a slut for married men

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By *oubenew80Couple
5 weeks ago

Warrington

I was similar until finally got her to try a swingers club .. honestly its change her big time ... there is hope , happy to chat . dm me

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By *jh59Man
5 weeks ago

Stoke Golding

Married for 28 years last summer she tells me she no longer wants sex with me due to the menopause only for me to find out a few weeks later that is getting fucked silly by other guys

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By *atureManNorthEastMan
5 weeks ago

Durham & Northumberland

I haven't had sex with my wife for over twenty years, because I prefer men. She misses sex and the boost to her self esteem that a passionate encounter gives her.

From her perspective she didn't want to swing, we tried this site as a couple, to find her an exclusive arrangement, a man friend with benefits. That was relatively unsuccessful.

She wanted a man who was not married or partnered (that was the biggest hurdle). She wanted a man within a similar age range no more than ten years younger, she is 69. She also didn't feel inclined to meet a man who had a profile displaying any explicit images or verifications (significantly narrowed the field).

It was interesting understanding a woman's perspective. She wanted a mature guy with a passionate, sensual approach.

Yes she wanted sex but she didn't want what most men seem to think women want.

We didn't find any guys on here that understood her perspective very well.

From my observations, a number of men on here, are extremely good at unintentionally appealing to other men, bi curious, and gay men. However they lack the insight to recognise a women's approach to sex and intimacy.

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By *ourdoMan
5 weeks ago

Westbury

I feel my wife was not too well informed by her surgeon when told she had pre-cancerous cells after a smear test.

She had a hysterectomy and that's when it all ceased. Before the opportunity she was a nympho and we used to enjoy swinging meets, clubs and parties.

I love her so much and miss how she was and will never give up on her. We do have sex, but very rarely now.

Although on here I've yet to meet a woman or couple. As much as I'd like to meet someone for fun I haven't yet. It's been 15 or 16 years since I was last intimate with another woman.

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By *idcot58Man
5 weeks ago

Chepstow

We were swingers for around 5 years then she went through menopause then all stopped

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By *avid 50Man
5 weeks ago

kendal

Reassuring to hear so many other people are in the same boat as myself, such a shame that after an amazing sex life with her for 30 years it should all end, we don't talk about sex we don't sleep together but I think we still love each other but it's difficult when there's nothing intimate between us.

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By *urvyLady4BlackMenWoman
5 weeks ago

Norwich


"Now I just need to find the elusive willing female"

I'd change your profile pic then!

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By *otdog52Man
5 weeks ago

Bristol

Id love to be able to come up with a way of bringing the conversation round to going to a club without her getting upset. Like most of the guys here I love my wife to bits but it seems like there's something missing.

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By (user no longer on site)
5 weeks ago

Another hubby hear in a sexless marriage. Herself has no interest in sex since the children were born. She had sex when I kept asking her. But now I've stopped begging. It's mentally draining the life out of me.

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By (user no longer on site)
5 weeks ago

Same for a year now

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By *eavenscentitCouple
5 weeks ago

barnstaple

When I was married I lost interest in sex because, my husband was inconsiderate and dismissive towards me and our children, resented my friends and work. No way did I find this man child appealing sexually. Being a wife and Mother for me was boring & exhausting. Ms

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By *omeagain00Man
5 weeks ago

Selby

Sadly menopause has struck here so not even a hand job

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By *ervyoldman OP   Man
5 weeks ago

TELFORD

He shouldn't have been inconsiderate, hopefully your making up for it now!

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By *ornyone30Man
5 weeks ago

ABERDEEN

I'm in a similar situation. I've tried to raise the subject of the lack of intimacy a few times but apparently it always ends up being my fault somehow. Despite the fact I work double the hours she does, I do school drop off, share kids bedtimes, cook, clean, do the laundry amongst other household chores. She is always too exhausted (I hate that word) to give me any of her time. I stopped asking because I don't want sex to be another chore on the list. Hearing so many other men are in the same situation gives me no hope of change for the future

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By *lipflops n ShortsMan
5 weeks ago

Alicante (Spain)

I think many guys are in the same situation, and that it is a common thing for the female to go off sex. I'm in that group as well, and yes the menopause has played a massive part in it.

Hence why we're on sites like this.

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By *lways horny888Man
5 weeks ago

mids

over 10 yrs for me

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By *knewbie85Man
5 weeks ago

Billericay

Is she getting it elsewhere???

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By *artorialMan
5 weeks ago

weymouth

A decade ago I was in the same boat, no sex in over a decade. Conversations invariably got shut down, she then said something that had me doubting whether I was ever sexually attractive to her - eventually I walked away, divorce and estrangement from my daughter followed, I am generally more content as there's always the possibility of sex where before there was non. Im certainly financially better off (no horses to keep) and I'm generally less stressed.

There are no easy solutions but everything has consequences, if your extramarital gets discovered would it end in divorce - if the answer is yes or probably perhaps it'd be best to rip that plaster off take the initial pain and accept that you both now require different things and have grown apart.

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By *orsepower99Man
5 weeks ago

craigavon

[Removed by poster at 11/06/25 11:15:09]

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By *ervyoldman OP   Man
5 weeks ago

TELFORD

I wonder if there are any couples who would let me watch and wank, It would make a very pleasant change from just wanking! Please pm me if any couples local to Wolverhampton or surrounding areas.

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By *anty mateMan
5 weeks ago

merseyside

Same here

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By *INGOBLIN66Man
5 weeks ago

Coventry

Iv tried to get my lass involved but no chance

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By *ossman0168Man
5 weeks ago

Liverpool

Same here, think that’s why I’m a dirty fecker

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By *ocktoplaywithMan
5 weeks ago

Derby

My wife and I haven’t had sex for years. We love each other as much as we ever have and get on really well, but I miss the intimacy. I can cope without the sex but sadly we never kiss, never cuddle, never touch each other intimately with the exception of she let me shave her before we went on holiday in readiness for us going nude on the beach. The only other thing we do is hold hands.

I’ve accepted it now but it still upsets me. I live in eternal hope that one day things will change

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By *ervyoldman OP   Man
5 weeks ago

TELFORD


"My wife and I haven’t had sex for years. We love each other as much as we ever have and get on really well, but I miss the intimacy. I can cope without the sex but sadly we never kiss, never cuddle, never touch each other intimately with the exception of she let me shave her before we went on holiday in readiness for us going nude on the beach. The only other thing we do is hold hands.

I’ve accepted it now but it still upsets me. I live in eternal hope that one day things will change

"

I feel for you, since opening this post I realise there are men worse off than me! I hope things improve for you.

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By *ook321Man
4 weeks ago

Portsmouth

I’ve been on here a few weeks now and yet to meet anyone but it’s really opened my eyes to a life I’ve been missing out on. My relationship with my wife has gradually gone downhill over the last couple years. For over 20 years we had sex at least once a week, this has now diminished to once every few months and seems like she’d happily go without altogether. A few weeks back I told her I didn’t want to carry on like this, I’m 50 now and like a lot of people my age realising my mortality and the fact you only get one chance at life. We ended up making up and having sex once since then but now can’t help feel disappointed that we didn’t split allowing me to meet people on here guilt free. I’ve never cheated on my wife and yet to meet up with anyone yet and I feel like a total sleaze even looking, but the idea of it now is becoming very appealing

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By *iss KinkWoman
4 weeks ago

Up North


"You may not be aware of this but withholding sex is a common form of domestic abuse.

Thats not to say one should force the issue, but if you have spoken with each and they still not interested.

Essentially it's a form of control."

Never heard such rubbish and yes I know what I’m talking about!

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By *cottishman2017Man
4 weeks ago

Burbage

I’m going through it as well, so come get to wank over the great pics and vids

Can’t consider fucking someone else though

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By *otmouthMan
4 weeks ago

Nottingham

Been 11years for me, just as well I adore cock

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By *orny salesmanMan
4 weeks ago

Preston

Exactly the same menopause and no sex for neatly 2 years she doesn't understand how bad it makes me fell

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By *eavenscentitCouple
4 weeks ago

barnstaple


"Exactly the same menopause and no sex for neatly 2 years she doesn't understand how bad it makes me fell "

Communicate this with her.

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By *lderbiguyMan
4 weeks ago

Peterhead

It has been almost 20years since we had any kind of intimacy despite trying to have conversations, discussions, and arguments.

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By *ove erotic timesMan
4 weeks ago

Stockport

Ten years without hence being on here.

Found out that I enjoy cock fun too !

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By *ornyone30Man
4 weeks ago

ABERDEEN


"You may not be aware of this but withholding sex is a common form of domestic abuse.

Thats not to say one should force the issue, but if you have spoken with each and they still not interested.

Essentially it's a form of control.

Never heard such rubbish and yes I know what I’m talking about!"

It's not control as in making someone do something, but it is a form of control in that some women are restricting someone from doing something they want to do because the woman doesn't feel like doing it. Now, on a one off basis that's OK but when it starts to get to years and some cases here, decades, those women are still expecting that man to accept it and be faithful. It's completely unrealistic. Of course that's just a general view, everyone will have different reasons why it's happening and why they are still putting up with it. And I must add no woman should feel like they HAVE to do it, but there is a consequence.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

4 weeks ago

East Sussex


"You may not be aware of this but withholding sex is a common form of domestic abuse.

Thats not to say one should force the issue, but if you have spoken with each and they still not interested.

Essentially it's a form of control.

Never heard such rubbish and yes I know what I’m talking about!

It's not control as in making someone do something, but it is a form of control in that some women are restricting someone from doing something they want to do because the woman doesn't feel like doing it. Now, on a one off basis that's OK but when it starts to get to years and some cases here, decades, those women are still expecting that man to accept it and be faithful. It's completely unrealistic. Of course that's just a general view, everyone will have different reasons why it's happening and why they are still putting up with it. And I must add no woman should feel like they HAVE to do it, but there is a consequence. "

I wonder how much control *some* men are exerting by withholding emotional intimacy. The hand holding, laying in each others arms talking about how you feel and listening to each other, holding each other and not expecting it to lead to sex, intimate discussions about how each other feels that sort of thing.

No man should feel he has to do these things but there will be consequences if he doesn't .

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By *ld_dogMan
4 weeks ago

coleford

I love my wife dearly but no sex for years hence like many am on here.

Anyone want to chat and cheer me up

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By *ornyone30Man
4 weeks ago

ABERDEEN


"You may not be aware of this but withholding sex is a common form of domestic abuse.

Thats not to say one should force the issue, but if you have spoken with each and they still not interested.

Essentially it's a form of control.

Never heard such rubbish and yes I know what I’m talking about!

It's not control as in making someone do something, but it is a form of control in that some women are restricting someone from doing something they want to do because the woman doesn't feel like doing it. Now, on a one off basis that's OK but when it starts to get to years and some cases here, decades, those women are still expecting that man to accept it and be faithful. It's completely unrealistic. Of course that's just a general view, everyone will have different reasons why it's happening and why they are still putting up with it. And I must add no woman should feel like they HAVE to do it, but there is a consequence.

I wonder how much control *some* men are exerting by withholding emotional intimacy. The hand holding, laying in each others arms talking about how you feel and listening to each other, holding each other and not expecting it to lead to sex, intimate discussions about how each other feels that sort of thing.

No man should feel he has to do these things but there will be consequences if he doesn't ."

Absolutely. 2 sides to every story...

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By *ideshaft1971Man
4 weeks ago

Midlands

Luckily I’m still having sex but have to work at it including getting out of bed with a semi in the morning to keep her interest up but know many friends who don’t have sex any longer so thank goodness for sites like this where we can all chat about it and get horny in the process

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By *iss KinkWoman
4 weeks ago

Up North


"You may not be aware of this but withholding sex is a common form of domestic abuse.

Thats not to say one should force the issue, but if you have spoken with each and they still not interested.

Essentially it's a form of control.

Never heard such rubbish and yes I know what I’m talking about!

It's not control as in making someone do something, but it is a form of control in that some women are restricting someone from doing something they want to do because the woman doesn't feel like doing it. Now, on a one off basis that's OK but when it starts to get to years and some cases here, decades, those women are still expecting that man to accept it and be faithful. It's completely unrealistic. Of course that's just a general view, everyone will have different reasons why it's happening and why they are still putting up with it. And I must add no woman should feel like they HAVE to do it, but there is a consequence.

I wonder how much control *some* men are exerting by withholding emotional intimacy. The hand holding, laying in each others arms talking about how you feel and listening to each other, holding each other and not expecting it to lead to sex, intimate discussions about how each other feels that sort of thing.

No man should feel he has to do these things but there will be consequences if he doesn't ."

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By *oleraine-coupleCouple
4 weeks ago

Coleraine

These posts are always sad to read.

Yes men and women on the whole have very different sexual desires and appetites but the idea of a sexless marriage by the choice of a partner is odd to me.

We cannot blame men in sexless marriages (where they attempted to talk about it and change things) for being here at all and we have met some lovely married guys over the years.

As a woman I cannot comprehend not offering my hubby anything at all. Even when my menopause was at its worst I made sure he was getting something a few times a week.

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By *edbath 5Man
4 weeks ago

london

Mine did that years ago. Only gets horny if we have been on a naturist beach or she’s very very d*unk. Both rare.

Luckily I love wanking.

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By *ungus29Man
4 weeks ago

moray

In the same boat. Lost all interest in anything sexual since the menopause. Have talked about it but she’s quite happy without it.

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By (user no longer on site)
3 weeks ago

Me and my wife not had sexual intercourse for over 5 yrs. I am gaggig but no one seems to play anymore.even the bi mm wank fun has died.

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By *erseykevMan
3 weeks ago

St Helier

Not had sex with my wife for over 11yrs! Due to her arthritis which makes sex painful for her! I would love some fun but no one on here is interested in married men! And then you get others who condemn you for cheating!

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By *eter56Man
3 weeks ago

Leeds


"Not had sex with my wife for over 11yrs! Due to her arthritis which makes sex painful for her! I would love some fun but no one on here is interested in married men! And then you get others who condemn you for cheating!"

Same length of time without sex with my wife. Totally agree no one (m or f) seem interested.

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By *evonmail41Man
3 weeks ago

Yeovil

I've been here for a while as wife doesn't enjoy sex. Minute they realise im.married I get ignored.

Shame im not gay because would get lots of offers.

Yet I box from women is empty and my messages get ignored

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By *aria_dreamgirlTV/TS
3 weeks ago

stockport

Tgirls are here for understanding your needs

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By *ervyoldman OP   Man
3 weeks ago

TELFORD

Does make me wonder tbf

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By *iddick27Man
3 weeks ago

Cheshire

Tale as old as time

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By *iddick27Man
3 weeks ago

Cheshire

So glad I’m not married and I certainly won’t be getting married

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By *iddick27Man
3 weeks ago

Cheshire


"Is she getting it elsewhere???"

I’ve always wondered about this as I’ve spoken to many women that can’t imagine going one week without any sex

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By *B84Man
3 weeks ago

Glasgow

I’m glad to see this is a common thing and not just my situation, as unfortunate as it is.

We love each other to bits but, we haven’t had any meaningful sex in over 12 years and unfortunately all intimacy it pretty much gone these days

She keeps telling me to go find people for fun, but always feel guilty at the thought of it, so I haven’t been able to pull the trigger.

It gets to me at times because I feel I’ve missed out in a big part of life, when I was at my prime

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By *ornycouple70Couple
3 weeks ago

Hanpshire

Hi - female of the couple here.

For fear of sounding like a stuck record / boring any other reasons we are all wired differently, yes we are all human but when things happen we react differently.

I was in a marriage and no sex after had kids, my confidence died, felt undesirable and my battery operated boyfriend was my best friend 😉🤭

We split, I met someone else and our sex life has been amazing, we’ve also been on here after taking about sharing with others and it works for us.

I am also going through the menopause, the array of symptoms and advice you get is huge and not one potion, lotion or tablet necessarily fits all. I consider myself to have been extremely lucky in having a GP who was trained to deal with menopause and listened and I (after trying a couple of things) got what I needed to resolve or at least make a massive positive to get rid of my symptoms.

I know the ‘menopause’ story isn’t the same one for all but please even if your lovely lady says she doesn’t want sex, start with small steps, sometimes just the support and encouragement can help as a lot of women won’t go to get help for various reasons (embarrassment, taboo to talk about it etc) but there is so much more help out there now thanks to ambassadors talking about it.

Find out more about it, so you as the man who loves her knows more about it.

I’m not saying men don’t have any issues that also need support from their partners, everyone always needs something but just a little insight from a woman’s point of view - hope it helps, sent with kindness 😊

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By *asterDogMan
3 weeks ago

Hickling

My partner also has totally gone of sex, the menopause and other medical issues have caused it she was also submissive to my dom. We have talked and she has insisted I find someone else to be my sub and to provide the sex she no longer can, in that respect I am very lucky.

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By *omlanderMan
3 weeks ago

clitheroe


"Hi - female of the couple here.

For fear of sounding like a stuck record / boring any other reasons we are all wired differently, yes we are all human but when things happen we react differently.

I was in a marriage and no sex after had kids, my confidence died, felt undesirable and my battery operated boyfriend was my best friend 😉🤭

We split, I met someone else and our sex life has been amazing, we’ve also been on here after taking about sharing with others and it works for us.

I am also going through the menopause, the array of symptoms and advice you get is huge and not one potion, lotion or tablet necessarily fits all. I consider myself to have been extremely lucky in having a GP who was trained to deal with menopause and listened and I (after trying a couple of things) got what I needed to resolve or at least make a massive positive to get rid of my symptoms.

I know the ‘menopause’ story isn’t the same one for all but please even if your lovely lady says she doesn’t want sex, start with small steps, sometimes just the support and encouragement can help as a lot of women won’t go to get help for various reasons (embarrassment, taboo to talk about it etc) but there is so much more help out there now thanks to ambassadors talking about it.

Find out more about it, so you as the man who loves her knows more about it.

I’m not saying men don’t have any issues that also need support from their partners, everyone always needs something but just a little insight from a woman’s point of view - hope it helps, sent with kindness 😊"

Great post

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By *essica FlabbitWoman
3 weeks ago

west midlands/shropshire

Can I just ask a question.. some are saying its a form of control. So would you rather your partner lie back and just fake it.. no judgement just a curious question.

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By *oleraine-coupleCouple
3 weeks ago

Coleraine

Most men we have met were in sexless marriages.

From conversations on here over many years and from friends there are a lot of them.

I (F54) suffered negatively from the menopause but to deny all sex (for example not even offering HJ and BJ) isn’t a relationship in my book it’s being friends. Even on my worst months I ensured my hubby didn’t go without.

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By *oleraine-coupleCouple
3 weeks ago

Coleraine


"I my in the same boat 5 years but got a leg over 1 month back couldn’t really call it that as she came then just rolled over didn’t try to make me cum I like the thought that it’s control over us never thought of it that way

Can you explain in what way you feel controlled? I'm not disagreeing I'd genuinely like to know.

I can understand that a woman or man might withhold sex to try and make a partner do something e.g. 'I'm not having sex with you until you but me a pair of Jimmy Choos/new car/Harley' and controlling that way."

I F54 sort of understand this thinking.

I fully understand women losing their sexual drive and appetite. I have battled with the menopause for the last four years. But to deny all sex with your hubby is a choice you make over them. I cannot imagine having gone through that time and offering my hubby nothing and just saying well that’s how it is now tough our marriage no longer includes sex.

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By *ervyoldman OP   Man
3 weeks ago

TELFORD

Some very interesting replies, there's obviously a much bigger picture here, it makes feel a bit better about myself and I feel for everyone after hearing their stories.

I wait in hope (like many others)

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By *r shyguy.Man
3 weeks ago

Down by the river.

Since my mrs became very ill, and the treatment killed off what sex drive she had its now been over 16 years since we have had sex.

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By *mallButHard72Man
3 weeks ago

London

Looks like this is a very common issue and im in the same boat. We used to have sex a few times a week but since menopause kicked in a few years ago it's once every few months if that. Like lots have said on here I love my wife to bits and we still are very affectionate to each other. This can be very frustrating but I've found being on here for over a year helps.

I've lowered the bar for what constitutes 'cheating' and won't meet single ladies (because obviously my inbox is inundated with messages from them) and won't have penetrative sex but seeing as I'm orally bi I have met bi couples and single guys on here.

Those that have had the conversation about swinging with them are very brave. I'm pretty sure my Mrs wouldn't be interested but would love it if she was.

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By *outhernexport83Couple
3 weeks ago

Cornwall

While I (m of couple) certainly don’t agree with all of the comments on here, it’s great that this conversation exists. Talking about stuff like this is massively important and I’m glad there’s some different perspectives. We went though a very long dry spell post kids (possibly undiagnosed perimenopause) and luckily managed to work through it. Turns out there was a lot going on with both of us. I hope that talking openly about this sort of thing allows people to have more honest and constructive conversations early on and understand the feelings of both partners in the relationship. Props to those who have stated their feelings so far, irrespective of my personal take on them. 🙌

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By *lackjack1stMan
3 weeks ago

London

You entitled to your opinion.

I stick to the academic research on the matter:

To save time with pointless disagreement online:

I recommend you ask Chatgpt the question:

Is withholding sex in a relationship a form of domestic abuse❓

YouTube:

" Withholding: the top five ways women deny a man's needs"

The Happy Wife School

"Sexless Marriage: A breach of contract?"

PyscHacks

Google article:

Domestic shelters org:

"Withholding intimacy can be abusive to o."

This article is written from a heterosexual woman's ♀️ perspective but obviously applies to men also.

There is plenty of research on the subject we are living in the information age.

So ignorant comments are unnecessary.

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By *lackjack1stMan
3 weeks ago

London

[Removed by poster at 28/06/25 23:07:09]

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By *lackjack1stMan
3 weeks ago

London

My post was for the Man who thought I was talking rubbish.

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By *iddick27Man
2 weeks ago

Cheshire

I hope this thread keeps going it’s very interesting

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By *ormalfornorfolkMan
2 weeks ago

Norwich

Lots of insight from people living with complex issues. Thanks to all who’ve contributed.

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By *lumber53Man
2 weeks ago

brean

I'm afraid it all to common

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By *oodgreen25Man
2 weeks ago

Gorey

Really interesting to see the advice and comments on this from the female perspective. It's definitely not as simple as the wife's just not wanting sex anymore. So helpful to get to hear this too, communication is what I keep seeing as key to this. Oh and a huge dick might help

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By *xstaceyxxTV/TS
2 weeks ago

longeaton,ng10

Divorced courts for me ,I couldn't stand for that.

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By *ove erotic timesMan
2 weeks ago

Stockport

Just spent 15minutes sucking her lovely breasts but won't let me touch her pussy and won't feel me.

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By *rogressivepairCouple
2 weeks ago

Derby

Male half of a highly sexed couple (10 times a week before any swinging play), who have made it through children and menopause and are fucking like never before, here to give some advice.

My advice. Ditch the account on here first. It’s clearly not in line with my later points.

Affection….

Make her the centre of your world (she ain’t if you are on here), stop wanking (this makes you focus on her), put her on a pedestal, show the whole world that’s where she is for you, make massive public points of affection, go and kiss her neck when at parties and she is talking to other people or at the supermarket - wherever (on the beach the other day I walked up kissed her and smacked her arse - in front of everyone, she loved it), build total trust that you have got her and are not thinking of anyone else

Sex….

Once you have built enough trust and her being safe in the knowledge of where she is for you. Tell her you would like to reset your sex life and understand more about her needs.

Ask her what she fantasises about, what turns her on. I didn’t know my wife fantasised about being dominated until I asked. She will tell you if she trusts you to not kink shame her. Forget what you find a turn on. Find out what turns her on. Once she tells you, go and research how to do it. I’ve read up on talking dirty, dominating behaviour, specific scenarios, etc. I’ve become the man she fantasised about in the bedroom, but never felt she could tell me.

Stamina…..

To deliver what she asks for will possibly require you getting a hold on your orgasm control. Pelvic floor muscle exercises, and some mental work. Wanking is the best way to become premature - it is purely for you, so why control it? Hence stopping wanking. It’s not necessarily a catch 22 - no sex, so cum quickly. You can learn to control it. The aim is to be able to perform for as long as it takes and then cum when she is ready.

Oral…..

Buy the book “she comes first”, don’t think that giving good oral is a god given knowledge. Read it, learn it, show her you have. A friend who I gave some advice to bought it and put it on his bedside table. His partner saw it and was interested - it worked.

Massage…..

Take the time to give her an hour long massage (at least), with no sex at the end of it. Don’t even get naked or hard. Hands on skin, candles, oil. Again, it shows her you are focussed 100% on her needs. Build a deep emotional connection with physical touch.

That’s our journey. I’m seriously sad to hear all your comments. And I am happy to advise at all if that can help. Marriages can last as long as we live, and sex can continue to get better and better, but it takes 2 things to underpin it.

Observation - study and listen to your partner.

Adaptation - do things differently and notice how she reacts (back to observation)

Not wishing to preach or gloat - just wanting to help anyone I can.

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By *outhLondonSmileMan
2 weeks ago

South London

Great thread. It’s nice not to feel alone. However I feel many of these guys don’t understand their wives & what they are going through. Think from their perspective… as for luck on here, also think from the perspective of the woman you’re messaging… you might have more luck.

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By *elly72Woman
2 weeks ago

glasgow


"I feel my wife was not too well informed by her surgeon when told she had pre-cancerous cells after a smear test.

She had a hysterectomy and that's when it all ceased. Before the opportunity she was a nympho and we used to enjoy swinging meets, clubs and parties.

I love her so much and miss how she was and will never give up on her. We do have sex, but very rarely now.

Although on here I've yet to meet a woman or couple. As much as I'd like to meet someone for fun I haven't yet. It's been 15 or 16 years since I was last intimate with another woman."

So you’d rather she didn’t have the hysterectomy and died of cancer as long as you kept getting your hole.

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By *ameskathCouple
2 weeks ago

london

happy to chat to married men who's wife have gone off sex

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By *ocktoplaywithMan
2 weeks ago

Derby


"Male half of a highly sexed couple (10 times a week before any swinging play), who have made it through children and menopause and are fucking like never before, here to give some advice.

My advice. Ditch the account on here first. It’s clearly not in line with my later points.

Affection….

Make her the centre of your world (she ain’t if you are on here), stop wanking (this makes you focus on her), put her on a pedestal, show the whole world that’s where she is for you, make massive public points of affection, go and kiss her neck when at parties and she is talking to other people or at the supermarket - wherever (on the beach the other day I walked up kissed her and smacked her arse - in front of everyone, she loved it), build total trust that you have got her and are not thinking of anyone else

Sex….

Once you have built enough trust and her being safe in the knowledge of where she is for you. Tell her you would like to reset your sex life and understand more about her needs.

Ask her what she fantasises about, what turns her on. I didn’t know my wife fantasised about being dominated until I asked. She will tell you if she trusts you to not kink shame her. Forget what you find a turn on. Find out what turns her on. Once she tells you, go and research how to do it. I’ve read up on talking dirty, dominating behaviour, specific scenarios, etc. I’ve become the man she fantasised about in the bedroom, but never felt she could tell me.

Stamina…..

To deliver what she asks for will possibly require you getting a hold on your orgasm control. Pelvic floor muscle exercises, and some mental work. Wanking is the best way to become premature - it is purely for you, so why control it? Hence stopping wanking. It’s not necessarily a catch 22 - no sex, so cum quickly. You can learn to control it. The aim is to be able to perform for as long as it takes and then cum when she is ready.

Oral…..

Buy the book “she comes first”, don’t think that giving good oral is a god given knowledge. Read it, learn it, show her you have. A friend who I gave some advice to bought it and put it on his bedside table. His partner saw it and was interested - it worked.

Massage…..

Take the time to give her an hour long massage (at least), with no sex at the end of it. Don’t even get naked or hard. Hands on skin, candles, oil. Again, it shows her you are focussed 100% on her needs. Build a deep emotional connection with physical touch.

That’s our journey. I’m seriously sad to hear all your comments. And I am happy to advise at all if that can help. Marriages can last as long as we live, and sex can continue to get better and better, but it takes 2 things to underpin it.

Observation - study and listen to your partner.

Adaptation - do things differently and notice how she reacts (back to observation)

Not wishing to preach or gloat - just wanting to help anyone I can."

I’m sorry but you are way off, certainly as far as my wife and I are concerned. I’m pleased for you that you’ve gone through life and are enjoying a healthy sex life, but everyone’s circumstances are different and more importantly, every woman is different.

I’m absolutely certain that no woman has ever got married hoping that one day she won’t want to make love. I might be totally wrong but I see it as a sort of ailment, a medical issue (for want of a better term), and there is no one-shop-fix for it.

As far as we are concerned, my wife’s menopause coincided with 2 other things which had a big impact on us, we were having financial difficulties for one, and my mother who lived with us was going downhill with dementia. My wife was brilliant with my mother, looked after her constantly until she died, but it drained her.

Fast forward 12 years and we don’t quite have the financial difficulties we did, but we are both so busy.

We get on better with each other than we ever have. We are each other’s rock, and I do comfort her as much as I can. We hold hands in public but she doesn’t want to kiss me at home, let alone in front of anyone. Smack her ass! Err, no. She would absolutely hate that and that would only result in a big fall out.

I’ve tried to talk about fantasies, she didn’t have any and wasn’t interested in mine.

Oral? Before we married we never had penetrative sex, but she would stroke me and let me perform oral on her. She loved it, had numerous orgasms every time, we would spend ages enjoying it together. However since we married and made love for the first time that was it, she never let me anywhere near her pussy with any part of my anatomy other than my cock, and trust me I tried many many times. In terms of performing oral on me, that has never ever happened, not even tried it, it’s something that has always been a major turn off.

The only thing I can relate with you on is massage. She does enjoy that and is the only time I can touch her. I’ve bought oils etc and she loves it, as do I because I can feel her lovely smooth skin. I get hard, I can’t help it, but the massage is never going to be a prelude to making love, it’s purely to relax her and soothe her.

I’ve tried to talk to her about it many many times. I’ve cried in bed because I want intimacy with my wife. I’m actually welling up now just typing this. I really don’t think it will ever change now but it won’t stop me loving her as much as I ever have.

With regards to being on here, I’ve never met anyone and it’s highly unlikely I ever will. But I enjoy the forums and the stories. Maybe this is where I can have my own fantasies.

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By *rogressivepairCouple
2 weeks ago

Derby


"Male half of a highly sexed couple (10 times a week before any swinging play), who have made it through children and menopause and are fucking like never before, here to give some advice.

My advice. Ditch the account on here first. It’s clearly not in line with my later points.

Affection….

Make her the centre of your world (she ain’t if you are on here), stop wanking (this makes you focus on her), put her on a pedestal, show the whole world that’s where she is for you, make massive public points of affection, go and kiss her neck when at parties and she is talking to other people or at the supermarket - wherever (on the beach the other day I walked up kissed her and smacked her arse - in front of everyone, she loved it), build total trust that you have got her and are not thinking of anyone else

Sex….

Once you have built enough trust and her being safe in the knowledge of where she is for you. Tell her you would like to reset your sex life and understand more about her needs.

Ask her what she fantasises about, what turns her on. I didn’t know my wife fantasised about being dominated until I asked. She will tell you if she trusts you to not kink shame her. Forget what you find a turn on. Find out what turns her on. Once she tells you, go and research how to do it. I’ve read up on talking dirty, dominating behaviour, specific scenarios, etc. I’ve become the man she fantasised about in the bedroom, but never felt she could tell me.

Stamina…..

To deliver what she asks for will possibly require you getting a hold on your orgasm control. Pelvic floor muscle exercises, and some mental work. Wanking is the best way to become premature - it is purely for you, so why control it? Hence stopping wanking. It’s not necessarily a catch 22 - no sex, so cum quickly. You can learn to control it. The aim is to be able to perform for as long as it takes and then cum when she is ready.

Oral…..

Buy the book “she comes first”, don’t think that giving good oral is a god given knowledge. Read it, learn it, show her you have. A friend who I gave some advice to bought it and put it on his bedside table. His partner saw it and was interested - it worked.

Massage…..

Take the time to give her an hour long massage (at least), with no sex at the end of it. Don’t even get naked or hard. Hands on skin, candles, oil. Again, it shows her you are focussed 100% on her needs. Build a deep emotional connection with physical touch.

That’s our journey. I’m seriously sad to hear all your comments. And I am happy to advise at all if that can help. Marriages can last as long as we live, and sex can continue to get better and better, but it takes 2 things to underpin it.

Observation - study and listen to your partner.

Adaptation - do things differently and notice how she reacts (back to observation)

Not wishing to preach or gloat - just wanting to help anyone I can.

I’m sorry but you are way off, certainly as far as my wife and I are concerned. I’m pleased for you that you’ve gone through life and are enjoying a healthy sex life, but everyone’s circumstances are different and more importantly, every woman is different.

I’m absolutely certain that no woman has ever got married hoping that one day she won’t want to make love. I might be totally wrong but I see it as a sort of ailment, a medical issue (for want of a better term), and there is no one-shop-fix for it.

As far as we are concerned, my wife’s menopause coincided with 2 other things which had a big impact on us, we were having financial difficulties for one, and my mother who lived with us was going downhill with dementia. My wife was brilliant with my mother, looked after her constantly until she died, but it drained her.

Fast forward 12 years and we don’t quite have the financial difficulties we did, but we are both so busy.

We get on better with each other than we ever have. We are each other’s rock, and I do comfort her as much as I can. We hold hands in public but she doesn’t want to kiss me at home, let alone in front of anyone. Smack her ass! Err, no. She would absolutely hate that and that would only result in a big fall out.

I’ve tried to talk about fantasies, she didn’t have any and wasn’t interested in mine.

Oral? Before we married we never had penetrative sex, but she would stroke me and let me perform oral on her. She loved it, had numerous orgasms every time, we would spend ages enjoying it together. However since we married and made love for the first time that was it, she never let me anywhere near her pussy with any part of my anatomy other than my cock, and trust me I tried many many times. In terms of performing oral on me, that has never ever happened, not even tried it, it’s something that has always been a major turn off.

The only thing I can relate with you on is massage. She does enjoy that and is the only time I can touch her. I’ve bought oils etc and she loves it, as do I because I can feel her lovely smooth skin. I get hard, I can’t help it, but the massage is never going to be a prelude to making love, it’s purely to relax her and soothe her.

I’ve tried to talk to her about it many many times. I’ve cried in bed because I want intimacy with my wife. I’m actually welling up now just typing this. I really don’t think it will ever change now but it won’t stop me loving her as much as I ever have.

With regards to being on here, I’ve never met anyone and it’s highly unlikely I ever will. But I enjoy the forums and the stories. Maybe this is where I can have my own fantasies. "

I’m sorry to hear that. I was only trying to give you some inspiration. I can’t advise anything other than my experience. Good luck and I hope you find a way through.

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By *aria_dreamgirlTV/TS
2 weeks ago

stockport

Lots of married guys would seek their pleasures elsewhere if they could.

Some like us tgirls but circumstances often stop them.

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