FabSwingers.com forum: Not getting many people messaging back

By *ontheone000 OP Man
over a year ago

reading

Hi guys and girls, I've been here for a fair while but don't seem to get anyone messaging back. I was wanting some advice if anyone has any time? My opening message is usually something like:

Hey, I saw your profile and thought I should message. I'm a happy bi guy from Reading. I'm trying to find new people to meet and would love to find a FWB. Give me a chance to be your friend?

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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

Ok most people will check out a profile first before looking at a message and if they don’t like what they see they will delete. Also if your sending the same message to everyone that could be why

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By *ontheone000 OP Man
over a year ago

reading

Hey, thanks for the reply. Can you see anything you would improve with my profile? I'll definitely try and be a bit more personal in the messages. Thanks for the advice.

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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

"Hey, thanks for the reply. Can you see anything you would improve with my profile? I'll definitely try and be a bit more personal in the messages. Thanks for the advice. "

You need to put more effort in your bio let your personality shine.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Op sell yourself

What do you offer ,why should someone pick you etc

Also in your message i'd try and make it more personal to the person you're writing to .Read their profile and refer to something in it ,rather than asking to be their friend .

Hang around in the forum's and chat to people here too

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By *oelDorianMan
over a year ago

vanaheim

What they both said

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By *ontheone000 OP Man
over a year ago

reading

Thanks for the advise. I really struggle writing bios lol. But thanks everyone for the advise and I'll get on it!

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By *glyBettyTV/TS
over a year ago

Sitting on the table

Who are you mostly messaging?

If it's couples that might be an uphill struggle as I'd imagine it's more a case of they'll come and find you if you're a single person.

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By *uliette500Woman
over a year ago

Hull

"Hi guys and girls, I've been here for a fair while but don't seem to get anyone messaging back. I was wanting some advice if anyone has any time? My opening message is usually something like:

Hey, I saw your profile and thought I should message. I'm a happy bi guy from Reading. I'm trying to find new people to meet and would love to find a FWB. Give me a chance to be your friend?"

If that is your standard message OP most won't reply.

Messages like these stand out as being copy and paste generic messages.

Make an effort to actually read their profile and add something into your message that proves you have at least bothered.

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By *uthenticDreamsMan
over a year ago

manchester

I’ve been on here a few weeks pal you need to get to a club get out there be brave it’s ok chatting on a phone get out to clubs

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By *ontheone000 OP Man
over a year ago

reading

I've been messaging girls, couples and trans girls too. I've now switched up my bio and am now personalizing the messages more.

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By *ontheone000 OP Man
over a year ago

reading

Thanks for the message. I've now switched my bio up and am personalizing messages more. I was sending personal messages but when no one got back I though I might as well not you know? Anyway, I'm back to personal messages. Thanks for your help!

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By *ontheone000 OP Man
over a year ago

reading

Hey mate, I'm actually going to a club on a couple weeks. I can't wait tbh, little nervous tho. You got any advise for me?

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By *ilf and old fartCouple
over a year ago

Between Ely and Mildenhall

"Hi guys and girls, I've been here for a fair while but don't seem to get anyone messaging back. I was wanting some advice if anyone has any time? My opening message is usually something like:

Hey, I saw your profile and thought I should message. I'm a happy bi guy from Reading. I'm trying to find new people to meet and would love to find a FWB. Give me a chance to be your friend?"

Instead of starting by saying "Hey" use their profile name/s.

That shows that you have at least read the start of their profile. Comment on something within their profile, this also shows that you have taken the time to look at it. Reading the profile is something that the majority of single blokes don't do.

Introduce yourself better as well.

Remove the "friend" bit. Unless you are a single female or a couple, not many people will want more than a one off with you. It's nothing personal, it's just how it works for most when it comes to a single guy.

Have at least one cock pick, don't put twenty up, just one is enough.

Also your photos need a bit of tweaking. Get rid of the joggers as they do nothing for you. Take some in different locations and positions.

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By *ockDoctorMan
over a year ago

cheshire and north wales

Get the same thing..despite my profile being very genuine if long but written to provide some level of detail..but the thing is most women couples get swamped with messages …genuine fellas like yourself..and me..simply get camouflaged by the shear amount of non genuine types on here..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We just read your profile and it sounds like your edging your bets and trying to cover all angles. For example, you have a thing for trans, but then in next paragraph your preference is for women, then another paragraph you'd like a gang bang. That may not put others off, but it didn't work for us. There's not enough about you as a person. It all reads a bit desperate? Sorry, only our opinion, we may be wrong?

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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

"Get the same thing..despite my profile being very genuine if long but written to provide some level of detail..but the thing is most women couples get swamped with messages …genuine fellas like yourself..and me..simply get camouflaged by the shear amount of non genuine types on here.."

But it’s not all about being genuine is it

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

"Hey mate, I'm actually going to a club on a couple weeks. I can't wait tbh, little nervous tho. You got any advise for me?"

Hi op

Only advice try using the reply and quote from those who have left a comment which you wish to reply to it makes it easier to understand

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By *ontheone000 OP Man
over a year ago

reading

"Hi guys and girls, I've been here for a fair while but don't seem to get anyone messaging back. I was wanting some advice if anyone has any time? My opening message is usually something like:

Hey, I saw your profile and thought I should message. I'm a happy bi guy from Reading. I'm trying to find new people to meet and would love to find a FWB. Give me a chance to be your friend?

Instead of starting by saying "Hey" use their profile name/s.

Introduce yourself better as well.

Have at least one cock pick, don't put twenty up, just one is enough.

Also your photos need a bit of tweaking. Get rid of the joggers as they do nothing for you. Take some in different locations and positions.

This is great advise thanks!

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By *ontheone000 OP Man
over a year ago

reading

"We just read your profile and it sounds like your edging your bets and trying to cover all angles. For example, you have a thing for trans, but then in next paragraph your preference is for women, then another paragraph you'd like a gang bang. That may not put others off, but it didn't work for us. There's not enough about you as a person. It all reads a bit desperate? Sorry, only our opinion, we may be wrong? "

I appreciate the honesty! I've changed the bio a bit again as I agree with you. The thing is, I just want to try a lot of stuff but don't want to sound desperate. It's kinda hard saying everything you want to try without sounding desperate tho lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't beat yourself up chief. Take all the advice with a pinch of salt and just be yourself. There is a plethora of ladies on here that just don't reply and hang their lack of courtesy on the 'site rules' and it somehow justifies lack of manners. It's simply down to that and the numbers game .. hundreds more guys than there is women. There's so many of us for a women to pick from that it's supply and demand. If the ratios were the other way around you'd find the ladies would be Uber polite.. like a lot of us reasonable nice guys are to them.

Just batter on and don't build your hopes up, be polite and courteous and play the long game and chill with the lack of replies, it's not you, it's them

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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago

somerset

op only you know you if you cant write about yourself and what your looking for then how do you expect others to help you that dont know you ??

what did you expect when you joined ? did you know your joining a swinger site or was you hoping it was a free sex site ?

surely quickly you realized that you are one of many looking for the very few ? it put on here daily that 100/200 or more men per one woman/couples ? and then add in all those that dont meet or are fake profiles ran by sad men?? ..

when you message a woman she will more likely go str8 to your profile if there's nothing there she dont like then she wont answer then if your lucky and she opens your message she may not like what she see's or reads ...lets take one simple thing you have a beard thats a very 50/50 thing so thats alot turned off str8 away ...there has to be some kind of sexual attraction for most women and thats hard to find even on a site thats over run with men

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By *ontheone000 OP Man
over a year ago

reading

"Don't beat yourself up chief. Take all the advice with a pinch of salt and just be yourself. There is a plethora of ladies on here that just don't reply and hang their lack of courtesy on the 'site rules' and it somehow justifies lack of manners. It's simply down to that and the numbers game .. hundreds more guys than there is women. There's so many of us for a women to pick from that it's supply and demand. If the ratios were the other way around you'd find the ladies would be Uber polite.. like a lot of us reasonable nice guys are to them.

Just batter on and don't build your hopes up, be polite and courteous and play the long game and chill with the lack of replies, it's not you, it's them

That's a really nice answer mate, thank you.

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By *ontheone000 OP Man
over a year ago

reading

I've now uploaded a load new pics (they're pending atm) and changed my bio. I'm still up for any tips anyone wants to give though. I'm very happy with the site and have met some cool people, so please don't think I'm annoyed, I just want advise to get more matches.

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