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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So I’m here as a married man, in a dead relationship (long and complicated story). Ideally looking to meet someone likeminded or who doesn’t have an issue with meeting married people.

I have had several comments from other fabbers. Some positive but mostly negative..

Am I the only married man on here looking to meet someone for a discreet affair?

Why is it acceptable for married women but not men or be on Fab?

Would you meet a married man for a discreet relationship?

Thoughts and comments appreciated…

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *iss KinkWoman
over a year ago

North West

Your not the only one. But most women and couples won’t meet attached men

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Am I the only married man on here looking to meet someone for a discreet affair?

Don’t be silly, you know you’re not. There’s thousands of cheating partners on here

Why is it acceptable for married women but not men or be on Fab?

It’s not. Both are deceitful liars, men and women.

Would you meet a married man for a discreet relationship?

Not if they were the last man on earth.

"

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most are married mate

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *ibennyMan
over a year ago

rutherglen

I prefer Married men to be honest.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If your in a 'dead' relationship (your words) why not leave?

The thread got pulled or I'd link it but a single female fabber on here open about cheating got received just as much condemnation that the cheating single guys do.

KJ

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cheating is cowardly.

Leave.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think most married people have their partners consent x

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *aughtywifeandhimCouple
over a year ago

bedford

I would say 80% of people on here are married , women and guys both claim to be single , we don’t ask questions at club , many lie for different reasons , so what goes on in club stays in club .married are more descrete , we are married and honest with each other , we ask when we want to play solo

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *angero3aMan
over a year ago

swords

is they many married woman looking for single guy

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *.L.0460.Woman
over a year ago

Bognor Regis


"So I’m here as a married man, in a dead relationship (long and complicated story). Ideally looking to meet someone likeminded or who doesn’t have an issue with meeting married people.

I have had several comments from other fabbers. Some positive but mostly negative..

Am I the only married man on here looking to meet someone for a discreet affair?

Why is it acceptable for married women but not men or be on Fab?

Would you meet a married man for a discreet relationship?

Thoughts and comments appreciated…"

I don't think anyone who thinks it's unacceptable for a man would think differently if it's a woman to be honest.

My personal opinion is that I understand people have needs & I wouldn't judge, but I personally wouldn't knowingly meet a man playing without permission. There are women who don't care about someone leading a double life- maybe they're doing the same...

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's so many people (male & female) in the situation as OP. Having read numerous people's perspectives it's definitely a highly emotive subject.

Not to mention a minefield for all the parties directly affected.

Life is a bitch. Hey ho

Be true to yourself and don't do something if you're going to hate yourself for it further down the line.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *estrel girlWoman
over a year ago

Wokingham

As soon as i see the word discrete I'm no longer interested. Sure sign of a married man.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"There's so many people (male & female) in the situation as OP. Having read numerous people's perspectives it's definitely a highly emotive subject.

Not to mention a minefield for all the parties directly affected.

Life is a bitch. Hey ho

Be true to yourself and don't do something if you're going to hate yourself for it further down the line. "

Good and honest advice

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I would say 80% of people on here are married , women and guys both claim to be single , we don’t ask questions at club , many lie for different reasons , so what goes on in club stays in club .married are more descrete , we are married and honest with each other , we ask when we want to play solo"

I think that’s very true, there are more married individuals on here than single but not all are honest about that and the ones that are get crucified for it

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *ohnandJulieCouple
over a year ago

.


"I would say 80% of people on here are married , women and guys both claim to be single , we don’t ask questions at club , many lie for different reasons , so what goes on in club stays in club .married are more descrete , we are married and honest with each other , we ask when we want to play solo

I think that’s very true, there are more married individuals on here than single but not all are honest about that and the ones that are get crucified for it "

They get crucified because the person that they should be honest to is their partner.

You don't make it clear, are you playing with consent from your wife?

If we were looking, it would never be with a married man.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *eandmrsjones69Couple
over a year ago

Middle England

Not sure if you've ever seen the TV program, think it was called "Cheaters" or something like that. Married people, male or female, who live this lifestyle without their partners consent would be prime candidates for that programme.

Seen many state on here in similar threads: 'Swinging is not cheating and cheating is not swinging'. That's probably the best advice I can give.

And in answer to your question. No, we wouldn't meet you.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *elpful and caringMan
over a year ago

Scarborough

When I see the word discrete I think no thank you. Because you should have said discreet.

Pedantic!

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not easy when your a full time carer, most of your life has been taken away. 2 sides to a story.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *ittyandtheboyCouple
over a year ago

Back of the bins.


"So I’m here as a married man, in a dead relationship (long and complicated story). Ideally looking to meet someone likeminded or who doesn’t have an issue with meeting married people.

I have had several comments from other fabbers. Some positive but mostly negative..

Am I the only married man on here looking to meet someone for a discreet affair?

Why is it acceptable for married women but not men or be on Fab?

Would you meet a married man for a discreet relationship?

Thoughts and comments appreciated…"

Swinging is part of Ethical Non Monogamy.

Affairs are nor ethical, so your pursuit of one is not swinging.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *eandmrsjones69Couple
over a year ago

Middle England


"Not easy when your a full time carer, most of your life has been taken away. 2 sides to a story."

Not sure what point you are trying to justify. Being honest doesn't take up too much of your time.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *iss KinkWoman
over a year ago

North West


"Not easy when your a full time carer, most of your life has been taken away. 2 sides to a story."

That makes it ok then?

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *arcosaMan
over a year ago

London

I don't think you can treat this in such a black and white way. Any person can find themselves stuck in a loveless relationship and you need to walk a mile in that other person's shoes before you can make judgement. Believe me, misery can drive people to strange places.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Not easy when your a full time carer, most of your life has been taken away. 2 sides to a story."

Carers for family of spouses get a very poor deal in life. Everyone thinks they should be saints who have no emotional needs.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *arcosaMan
over a year ago

London


"SoI don't think anyone who thinks it's unacceptable for a man would think differently if it's a woman to be honest.

My personal opinion is that I understand people have needs & I wouldn't judge, but I personally wouldn't knowingly meet a man playing without permission. There are women who don't care about someone leading a double life- maybe they're doing the same..."

I would have to disagree. Women are generally treated with much more sympathy and leniency than men are. Also, when it comes to affairs, men generally stand to lose much more than women do.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"SoI don't think anyone who thinks it's unacceptable for a man would think differently if it's a woman to be honest.

My personal opinion is that I understand people have needs & I wouldn't judge, but I personally wouldn't knowingly meet a man playing without permission. There are women who don't care about someone leading a double life- maybe they're doing the same...

I would have to disagree. Women are generally treated with much more sympathy and leniency than men are. Also, when it comes to affairs, men generally stand to lose much more than women do."

As far as your first sentence goes I agree, there's a huge double standard.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If the relationship is so dead then why stay in it?

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

In my eyes you’re just a cheater and no, I wouldn’t meet you under any circumstances.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"If the relationship is so dead then why stay in it? "

Finances, children, family, ill health, sense of duty...the reasons are endless

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *ohnandJulieCouple
over a year ago

.


"Not easy when your a full time carer, most of your life has been taken away. 2 sides to a story."

And when you also have a wife??

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By *ohnandJulieCouple
over a year ago

.


"If the relationship is so dead then why stay in it?

Finances, children, family, ill health, sense of duty...the reasons are endless"

All valid reasons to stay, but not excuses to cheat.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *eandmrsjones69Couple
over a year ago

Middle England


"If the relationship is so dead then why stay in it?

Finances, children, family, ill health, sense of duty...the reasons are endless

All valid reasons to stay, but not excuses to cheat."

^^ Very well put.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"If the relationship is so dead then why stay in it?

Finances, children, family, ill health, sense of duty...the reasons are endless

All valid reasons to stay, but not excuses to cheat."

Nobody said they were

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *ohnandJulieCouple
over a year ago

.


"If the relationship is so dead then why stay in it?

Finances, children, family, ill health, sense of duty...the reasons are endless

All valid reasons to stay, but not excuses to cheat.

Nobody said they were"

But many use that excuse on here.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *ohnandJulieCouple
over a year ago

.


"If the relationship is so dead then why stay in it?

Finances, children, family, ill health, sense of duty...the reasons are endless

All valid reasons to stay, but not excuses to cheat.

Nobody said they were"

But many use that excuse on here.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"If the relationship is so dead then why stay in it?

Finances, children, family, ill health, sense of duty...the reasons are endless

All valid reasons to stay, but not excuses to cheat.

Nobody said they were

But many use that excuse on here. "

They do. I doubt it wins them any brownie points but it must be soul destroying

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If the relationship is so dead then why stay in it?

Finances, children, family, ill health, sense of duty...the reasons are endless"

Been in relationship and had kids and left because relationship was broken. Not sure why people stay making everyone un happy ..

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"If the relationship is so dead then why stay in it?

Finances, children, family, ill health, sense of duty...the reasons are endless

Been in relationship and had kids and left because relationship was broken. Not sure why people stay making everyone un happy .. "

You made your decision they've made theirs. I guess circumstances vary for everyone.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *aughtywifeandhimCouple
over a year ago

bedford


"I would say 80% of people on here are married , women and guys both claim to be single , we don’t ask questions at club , many lie for different reasons , so what goes on in club stays in club .married are more descrete , we are married and honest with each other , we ask when we want to play solo

I think that’s very true, there are more married individuals on here than single but not all are honest about that and the ones that are get crucified for it

They get crucified because the person that they should be honest to is their partner.

You don't make it clear, are you playing with consent from your wife?

If we were looking, it would never be with a married man. "
most of the time when we play solo , it’s with people we have met playing at club as couples , it would be really stupid to try and go it alone , we have seen so many caught out , due to different work hours and other ties , sometime , no often we do have a bit of extra fun alone , not always full play , sometimes just fun and frolics , and it’s more fun telling your partner than hiding it

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *aunchy RaccoonsCouple
over a year ago

Exeter


"So I’m here as a married man, in a dead relationship (long and complicated story). Ideally looking to meet someone likeminded or who doesn’t have an issue with meeting married people.

I have had several comments from other fabbers. Some positive but mostly negative..

Am I the only married man on here looking to meet someone for a discreet affair?

Why is it acceptable for married women but not men or be on Fab?

Would you meet a married man for a discreet relationship?

Thoughts and comments appreciated…"

Married women are more accepted simply because of the ratios on here. The Majority of guys don't care whether someone is cheating or not and will take what they can get.

You are always going to struggle by being a cheat on here as nobody wants to get involved in your mess.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *ollydoesWoman
over a year ago

Shangri-La


"So I’m here as a married man, in a dead relationship (long and complicated story). Ideally looking to meet someone likeminded or who doesn’t have an issue with meeting married people.

I have had several comments from other fabbers. Some positive but mostly negative..

Am I the only married man on here looking to meet someone for a discreet affair?

Why is it acceptable for married women but not men or be on Fab?

Would you meet a married man for a discreet relationship?

Thoughts and comments appreciated…"

Where do you get the idea thats its more acceptable for married women? Im sure you would like to think that to make yourself feel better.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *ollydoesWoman
over a year ago

Shangri-La


"SoI don't think anyone who thinks it's unacceptable for a man would think differently if it's a woman to be honest.

My personal opinion is that I understand people have needs & I wouldn't judge, but I personally wouldn't knowingly meet a man playing without permission. There are women who don't care about someone leading a double life- maybe they're doing the same...

I would have to disagree. Women are generally treated with much more sympathy and leniency than men are. Also, when it comes to affairs, men generally stand to lose much more than women do."

What? How do men have more to lose when it comes to affairs as opposed to women?

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My view is; if unhappy, communicate. If both want it to change it will..if not then you are just their for convenience which isn't fair on either of you. Life is too short, but hey it's not my life and I'm no life coach so carry on doing ya own thing

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By *arcosaMan
over a year ago

London

Morality is weird isn't it? Of course, you're right. It isn't an excuse. I should've left my wife ages ago. Except, if I had, I'd never have seen my daughter again. That was made very clear to me. So I stayed and remained faithful and celibate for nearly two decades.

Because that's what men do. They shut up and take it.

But, of course, I'm the bad guy, because I look for a bit of light and oxygen to stop the world from suffocating me.

I'm a villain because I'm trying to get out from under a life sentence by trying to meet people who I thought were broad minded and full of life and could get me back into the real world again.

Except the broad mindedness only extends to fucking their friends and the occasional stranger, in every other way they're very conservative. If your face doesn't fit, you can piss right off. Am I right?

If I were a woman, it would be tea and sympathy all round. My decisions would be validated, my actions vindicated and the consequences ignored. Someone might say I'm brave or inspiring to do what I did for my daughter. If I were a woman. But I'm not, I'm a man and, apparently, that makes me a scumbag.

Sorry, long post. A little annoyed.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"So I’m here as a married man, in a dead relationship (long and complicated story). Ideally looking to meet someone likeminded or who doesn’t have an issue with meeting married people.

I have had several comments from other fabbers. Some positive but mostly negative..

Am I the only married man on here looking to meet someone for a discreet affair?

Why is it acceptable for married women but not men or be on Fab?

Would you meet a married man for a discreet relationship?

Thoughts and comments appreciated…

Where do you get the idea thats its more acceptable for married women? Im sure you would like to think that to make yourself feel better."

On fab it is accepted by many.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have been honest and told her that I still need that part in my life even though she doesn't.

Never understand until your in the situation yourself

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich


"

Why is it acceptable for married women but not men or be on Fab?

"

Because, newsflash, men and women are different.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *arcosaMan
over a year ago

London


"

Why is it acceptable for married women but not men or be on Fab?

Because, newsflash, men and women are different.

"

What do you mean?

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich


"

Why is it acceptable for married women but not men or be on Fab?

Because, newsflash, men and women are different.

What do you mean?"

Look through my previous posts on the subject but in a nutshell

Men will blame an unfaithful woman.

A woman will blame the person he was unfaithful with

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have been honest and told her that I still need that part in my life even though she doesn't.

Never understand until your in the situation yourself"

I have been.

I’ve been in a sexless relationship for close to a decade - I left.

I’ve been cheated on - it destroyed me. I’m still living with the effects many years later.

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By *ohnandJulieCouple
over a year ago

.


"I have been honest and told her that I still need that part in my life even though she doesn't.

Never understand until your in the situation yourself"

So she knows that you are on here?

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By *ohnandJulieCouple
over a year ago

.


"Morality is weird isn't it? Of course, you're right. It isn't an excuse. I should've left my wife ages ago. Except, if I had, I'd never have seen my daughter again. That was made very clear to me. So I stayed and remained faithful and celibate for nearly two decades.

Because that's what men do. They shut up and take it.

But, of course, I'm the bad guy, because I look for a bit of light and oxygen to stop the world from suffocating me.

I'm a villain because I'm trying to get out from under a life sentence by trying to meet people who I thought were broad minded and full of life and could get me back into the real world again.

Except the broad mindedness only extends to fucking their friends and the occasional stranger, in every other way they're very conservative. If your face doesn't fit, you can piss right off. Am I right?

If I were a woman, it would be tea and sympathy all round. My decisions would be validated, my actions vindicated and the consequences ignored. Someone might say I'm brave or inspiring to do what I did for my daughter. If I were a woman. But I'm not, I'm a man and, apparently, that makes me a scumbag.

Sorry, long post. A little annoyed."

Broadminded is one thing, but accepting dishonest and disrespectful people is completely something else.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *arcosaMan
over a year ago

London


"

Broadminded is one thing, but accepting dishonest and disrespectful people is completely something else.

"

I never said I wasn't being dishonest but it's not because I want to be dishonest. I find that as distasteful as well. But, as with any other escape, some initial subterfuge is necessary.

I have no social network. My parents are dead. My siblings scattered geographically to places it is beyond my means to get to. Even if they'd help in the first place. I have no support. This is how I'm looking for relationships with others, but it initially requires discretion.

As for respect, obviously that needs to be earned. But there's also such a thing as prejudice which I think that more than a few people here are exhibiting here.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *nigmatic_AngelWoman
over a year ago

The place where fairies live


"Morality is weird isn't it? Of course, you're right. It isn't an excuse. I should've left my wife ages ago. Except, if I had, I'd never have seen my daughter again. That was made very clear to me. So I stayed and remained faithful and celibate for nearly two decades.

Because that's what men do. They shut up and take it.

But, of course, I'm the bad guy, because I look for a bit of light and oxygen to stop the world from suffocating me.

I'm a villain because I'm trying to get out from under a life sentence by trying to meet people who I thought were broad minded and full of life and could get me back into the real world again.

Except the broad mindedness only extends to fucking their friends and the occasional stranger, in every other way they're very conservative. If your face doesn't fit, you can piss right off. Am I right?

If I were a woman, it would be tea and sympathy all round. My decisions would be validated, my actions vindicated and the consequences ignored. Someone might say I'm brave or inspiring to do what I did for my daughter. If I were a woman. But I'm not, I'm a man and, apparently, that makes me a scumbag.

Sorry, long post. A little annoyed."

So, 20 years, your child is old enough to choose to see you herself now so you can leave. X

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

but being a full time carer means you just cant get up and leave, love is still there even though the pysical side is not.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *aunchy RaccoonsCouple
over a year ago

Exeter


"but being a full time carer means you just cant get up and leave, love is still there even though the pysical side is not."

Can't see how someone can have love and respect for someone if they are willing to do the dirty on them no matter what the situation is.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *arcosaMan
over a year ago

London


"Morality is weird isn't it? Of course, you're right. It isn't an excuse. I should've left my wife ages ago. Except, if I had, I'd never have seen my daughter again. That was made very clear to me. So I stayed and remained faithful and celibate for nearly two decades.

Because that's what men do. They shut up and take it.

But, of course, I'm the bad guy, because I look for a bit of light and oxygen to stop the world from suffocating me.

I'm a villain because I'm trying to get out from under a life sentence by trying to meet people who I thought were broad minded and full of life and could get me back into the real world again.

Except the broad mindedness only extends to fucking their friends and the occasional stranger, in every other way they're very conservative. If your face doesn't fit, you can piss right off. Am I right?

If I were a woman, it would be tea and sympathy all round. My decisions would be validated, my actions vindicated and the consequences ignored. Someone might say I'm brave or inspiring to do what I did for my daughter. If I were a woman. But I'm not, I'm a man and, apparently, that makes me a scumbag.

Sorry, long post. A little annoyed.

So, 20 years, your child is old enough to choose to see you herself now so you can leave. X"

Bingo. Thanks. That's why I'm here.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Morality is weird isn't it? Of course, you're right. It isn't an excuse. I should've left my wife ages ago. Except, if I had, I'd never have seen my daughter again. That was made very clear to me. So I stayed and remained faithful and celibate for nearly two decades.

Because that's what men do. They shut up and take it.

But, of course, I'm the bad guy, because I look for a bit of light and oxygen to stop the world from suffocating me.

I'm a villain because I'm trying to get out from under a life sentence by trying to meet people who I thought were broad minded and full of life and could get me back into the real world again.

Except the broad mindedness only extends to fucking their friends and the occasional stranger, in every other way they're very conservative. If your face doesn't fit, you can piss right off. Am I right?

If I were a woman, it would be tea and sympathy all round. My decisions would be validated, my actions vindicated and the consequences ignored. Someone might say I'm brave or inspiring to do what I did for my daughter. If I were a woman. But I'm not, I'm a man and, apparently, that makes me a scumbag.

Sorry, long post. A little annoyed.

So, 20 years, your child is old enough to choose to see you herself now so you can leave. X

Bingo. Thanks. That's why I'm here."

So you have left your wife now your child is an adult?

KJ

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *ohnandJulieCouple
over a year ago

.

[Removed by poster at 01/08/22 04:16:05]

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By *arcosaMan
over a year ago

London


"

So you have left your wife now your child is an adult?

KJ"

No, not yet. Leaving is fine, as long as you have somewhere to leave to. Seeing as I don't want to sleep rough I have to have time to prepare.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

[Removed by poster at 01/08/22 14:57:46]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

So you have left your wife now your child is an adult?

KJ

No, not yet. Leaving is fine, as long as you have somewhere to leave to. Seeing as I don't want to sleep rough I have to have time to prepare. "

So if your leaving anyway why risk cheating now and potentially causing untold hurt to your partner and adult daughter if god forbid they find out?

Also is there now way to agree to separate (then your free to what you want) but live together in the interim until the assets are divided?

KJ

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By *ohnandJulieCouple
over a year ago

.


"

So you have left your wife now your child is an adult?

KJ

No, not yet. Leaving is fine, as long as you have somewhere to leave to. Seeing as I don't want to sleep rough I have to have time to prepare. "

So why not postpone the cheating until you leave??

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

Broadminded is one thing, but accepting dishonest and disrespectful people is completely something else.

I never said I wasn't being dishonest but it's not because I want to be dishonest. I find that as distasteful as well. But, as with any other escape, some initial subterfuge is necessary.

I have no social network. My parents are dead. My siblings scattered geographically to places it is beyond my means to get to. Even if they'd help in the first place. I have no support. This is how I'm looking for relationships with others, but it initially requires discretion.

As for respect, obviously that needs to be earned. But there's also such a thing as prejudice which I think that more than a few people here are exhibiting here."

I truly understand your situation, when people hear someone’s married and on fab looking to meet someone, some are instant in labelling one as a cheat or someone who is not a nice person etc but not everyone is a dirt bag and some as in a complicated situation which they have to live with..

I’ve Been ‘married’ for last 10 years, been no intimacy for the last 6 or so years. No kisses, hugs, cuddles or sex etc. so I decided to come on here and look for something thats missing from my life.

Surely everyone is allowed to feel some love and companionship?

We’re just remaining together due to having a young child that’s 9 and didn’t want him to grow up in a broken family but I guess once he’s a little older we will both make the move to part ways.

For those that are quick to Judge, it’s not easy to just pack your bags and leave and starting again.. there’s always that fear of being alone or having to buy/rent a new property etc but I do know for myself any way, as soon as my child is old enough to understand then I will surely be walking away, not from being a parent but from a loveless marriage.

Again, apologies for the long winded post!!

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If the relationship is so dead then why stay in it?

Finances, children, family, ill health, sense of duty...the reasons are endless"

This is so very true there’s always a multitude of reasons why people don’t leave..

some people are easy to make comments and say why don’t you leave or be a man and leave etc etc but only someone going through something can understand the gravity and implications of just ‘leaving’ as some put it so eloquently!

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *unner6969Man
over a year ago

Bicester


"Thoughts and comments appreciated…"

When I first joined this site I was under the misapprehension that the Swinging community was hedonistic, Bohemian and nonjudgmental “We all have our reasons for being on here”.

Oh boy! How wrong I was!! (Shame).

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *ananaman41Man
over a year ago

Dublin


"So I’m here as a married man, in a dead relationship (long and complicated story). Ideally looking to meet someone likeminded or who doesn’t have an issue with meeting married people.

I have had several comments from other fabbers. Some positive but mostly negative..

Am I the only married man on here looking to meet someone for a discreet affair?

Why is it acceptable for married women but not men or be on Fab?

Would you meet a married man for a discreet relationship?

Thoughts and comments appreciated…"

Its not ok for women either. Both are wrong

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *ananaman41Man
over a year ago

Dublin


"So I’m here as a married man, in a dead relationship (long and complicated story). Ideally looking to meet someone likeminded or who doesn’t have an issue with meeting married people.

I have had several comments from other fabbers. Some positive but mostly negative..

Am I the only married man on here looking to meet someone for a discreet affair?

Why is it acceptable for married women but not men or be on Fab?

Would you meet a married man for a discreet relationship?

Thoughts and comments appreciated…

Where do you get the idea thats its more acceptable for married women? Im sure you would like to think that to make yourself feel better.

On fab it is accepted by many. "

Thats purely because women are in demand in here. There is a shortage. Men will shag any woman, single, married, fat, thin etc. Men are not in demand here. There is an excess supply of them so naturally married men fall to the bottom of the queue

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So I’m here as a married man, in a dead relationship (long and complicated story). Ideally looking to meet someone likeminded or who doesn’t have an issue with meeting married people.

I have had several comments from other fabbers. Some positive but mostly negative..

Am I the only married man on here looking to meet someone for a discreet affair?

Why is it acceptable for married women but not men or be on Fab?

Would you meet a married man for a discreet relationship?

Thoughts and comments appreciated…

Where do you get the idea thats its more acceptable for married women? Im sure you would like to think that to make yourself feel better.

On fab it is accepted by many.

Thats purely because women are in demand in here. There is a shortage. Men will shag any woman, single, married, fat, thin etc. Men are not in demand here. There is an excess supply of them so naturally married men fall to the bottom of the queue"

That may be partially true I guess.. but not all men will shag anyone or anything… there has to be some kind of connection and/or mutual attraction

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *ananaman41Man
over a year ago

Dublin


"So I’m here as a married man, in a dead relationship (long and complicated story). Ideally looking to meet someone likeminded or who doesn’t have an issue with meeting married people.

I have had several comments from other fabbers. Some positive but mostly negative..

Am I the only married man on here looking to meet someone for a discreet affair?

Why is it acceptable for married women but not men or be on Fab?

Would you meet a married man for a discreet relationship?

Thoughts and comments appreciated…

Where do you get the idea thats its more acceptable for married women? Im sure you would like to think that to make yourself feel better.

On fab it is accepted by many.

Thats purely because women are in demand in here. There is a shortage. Men will shag any woman, single, married, fat, thin etc. Men are not in demand here. There is an excess supply of them so naturally married men fall to the bottom of the queue

That may be partially true I guess.. but not all men will shag anyone or anything… there has to be some kind of connection and/or mutual attraction "

The vast majority will however, hence why the imbalance is ao stark. Also single women are not as interested in casual sex in the same volume as men, hence the far less numbers of them in here

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We're not hear to judge anyone, you have your reasons and at least your honest enough to declare your married. Not like most on here, although married men for us is a no. We are sure there's others in similar circumstances to yourself who would meet.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *ohnandJulieCouple
over a year ago

.


"Thoughts and comments appreciated…

When I first joined this site I was under the misapprehension that the Swinging community was hedonistic, Bohemian and nonjudgmental “We all have our reasons for being on here”.

Oh boy! How wrong I was!! (Shame). "

Stating that honesty and respect is so important in life is not being judgmental. It is just stating the obvious.

Surely you agree?

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *isstinseltoesWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit


"Thoughts and comments appreciated…

When I first joined this site I was under the misapprehension that the Swinging community was hedonistic, Bohemian and nonjudgmental “We all have our reasons for being on here”.

Oh boy! How wrong I was!! (Shame). "

We all judge people and swingers are still people at the end of the day.

We still all have our own moral codes and many will have experienced cheating so don't want to be a part of it.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *arcosaMan
over a year ago

London


"

Men will shag any woman, single, married, fat, thin etc. "

If this was written by anyone else other than a man I'd call this sexism.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *ananaman41Man
over a year ago

Dublin


"

Men will shag any woman, single, married, fat, thin etc.

If this was written by anyone else other than a man I'd call this sexism."

Youd be wrong though. It would just be someone telling the truth

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *arcosaMan
over a year ago

London


"

Men will shag any woman, single, married, fat, thin etc.

If this was written by anyone else other than a man I'd call this sexism.

Youd be wrong though. It would just be someone telling the truth"

No, it'd still just be your opinion.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *ananaman41Man
over a year ago

Dublin


"

Men will shag any woman, single, married, fat, thin etc.

If this was written by anyone else other than a man I'd call this sexism.

Youd be wrong though. It would just be someone telling the truth

No, it'd still just be your opinion."

Dont think so chief

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *arcosaMan
over a year ago

London


"We're not hear to judge anyone, you have your reasons and at least your honest enough to declare your married. Not like most on here, although married men for us is a no. We are sure there's others in similar circumstances to yourself who would meet. "

Thanks for that, you're very kind, however, for a community of non-judgemental people there's a hell of a lot of judgement.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *arcosaMan
over a year ago

London

[Removed by poster at 01/08/22 17:33:54]

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *arcosaMan
over a year ago

London


"

So why not postpone the cheating until you leave??"

There's that word again, cheat. It's such a loaded term,full of villainy and betrayal.

But, it's interesting, who is actually the villain here? Is it me? I'm just trying to escape a toxic relationship. Or is it my "partner" who b lack mailed me with my own daughter and then went out of her way to make my life miserable for literally decades.

I'd argue that it was her who was cheating, when she used the one person I loved more than anyone or anything in the world as a bargaining chip to bend me to her will. I was totally loyal, to my little girl. And in all that time I treated my wife with respect and civility, remaining faithful to her, I followed the vows I made at the altar, even if she didn't.

So, who cheated?

But, again, I'm the bad guy. I'm the "cheat". Fine. But it must be nice to be in such happy relationships, I have to wonder though, if we were to swap our places, how many of you would have cheated as well? Perhaps with even less provocation.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *arcosaMan
over a year ago

London


"

Men will shag any woman, single, married, fat, thin etc.

If this was written by anyone else other than a man I'd call this sexism.

Youd be wrong though. It would just be someone telling the truth

No, it'd still just be your opinion.

Dont think so chief"

Well, I do. You have your opinion, I have mine.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *.L.0460.Woman
over a year ago

Bognor Regis


"So I’m here as a married man, in a dead relationship (long and complicated story). Ideally looking to meet someone likeminded or who doesn’t have an issue with meeting married people.

I have had several comments from other fabbers. Some positive but mostly negative..

Am I the only married man on here looking to meet someone for a discreet affair?

Why is it acceptable for married women but not men or be on Fab?

Would you meet a married man for a discreet relationship?

Thoughts and comments appreciated…

Where do you get the idea thats its more acceptable for married women? Im sure you would like to think that to make yourself feel better.

On fab it is accepted by many.

Thats purely because women are in demand in here. There is a shortage. Men will shag any woman, single, married, fat, thin etc. Men are not in demand here. There is an excess supply of them so naturally married men fall to the bottom of the queue

That may be partially true I guess.. but not all men will shag anyone or anything… there has to be some kind of connection and/or mutual attraction "

Not all men- BUT...

I'm not in a relationship, but I'm very far from what I consider to be desirable, especially in the eyes of the sort of men who message me. I don't believe that looks, size, personality or compatibility matter one bit to a large percentage of men on Fab.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *isstinseltoesWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit


"

So why not postpone the cheating until you leave??

There's that word again, cheat. It's such a loaded term,full of villainy and betrayal.

But, it's interesting, who is actually the villain here? Is it me? I'm just trying to escape a toxic relationship. Or is it my "partner" who b lack mailed me with my own daughter and then went out of her way to make my life miserable for literally decades.

I'd argue that it was her who was cheating, when she used the one person I loved more than anyone or anything in the world as a bargaining chip to bend me to her will. I was totally loyal, to my little girl. And in all that time I treated my wife with respect and civility, remaining faithful to her, I followed the vows I made at the altar, even if she didn't.

So, who cheated?

But, again, I'm the bad guy. I'm the "cheat". Fine. But it must be nice to be in such happy relationships, I have to wonder though, if we were to swap our places, how many of you would have cheated as well? Perhaps with even less provocation."

I'm sorry you're unhappy ,but why not leave and get your head sorted first ,then look to get meets.

As someone else said it would make things alot worse if she catches you on here before you get out of the marriage and she could site you as a cheat in any proceedings etc.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *ananaman41Man
over a year ago

Dublin


"So I’m here as a married man, in a dead relationship (long and complicated story). Ideally looking to meet someone likeminded or who doesn’t have an issue with meeting married people.

I have had several comments from other fabbers. Some positive but mostly negative..

Am I the only married man on here looking to meet someone for a discreet affair?

Why is it acceptable for married women but not men or be on Fab?

Would you meet a married man for a discreet relationship?

Thoughts and comments appreciated…

Where do you get the idea thats its more acceptable for married women? Im sure you would like to think that to make yourself feel better.

On fab it is accepted by many.

Thats purely because women are in demand in here. There is a shortage. Men will shag any woman, single, married, fat, thin etc. Men are not in demand here. There is an excess supply of them so naturally married men fall to the bottom of the queue

That may be partially true I guess.. but not all men will shag anyone or anything… there has to be some kind of connection and/or mutual attraction

Not all men- BUT...

I'm not in a relationship, but I'm very far from what I consider to be desirable, especially in the eyes of the sort of men who message me. I don't believe that looks, size, personality or compatibility matter one bit to a large percentage of men on Fab."

Of course they dont. Any hole is a goal for the vast majority of men, whether they admit it or not. Hence why some will shag a TV if dressed up nicely enough

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"We're not hear to judge anyone, you have your reasons and at least your honest enough to declare your married. Not like most on here, although married men for us is a no. We are sure there's others in similar circumstances to yourself who would meet. "

I appreciate your comments and yes at least I’m being straight forward from the outset regarding my marital status, this is all in the hopes of perhaps meeting someone in a similar position for something mutual

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *aunchy RaccoonsCouple
over a year ago

Exeter


"

Broadminded is one thing, but accepting dishonest and disrespectful people is completely something else.

I never said I wasn't being dishonest but it's not because I want to be dishonest. I find that as distasteful as well. But, as with any other escape, some initial subterfuge is necessary.

I have no social network. My parents are dead. My siblings scattered geographically to places it is beyond my means to get to. Even if they'd help in the first place. I have no support. This is how I'm looking for relationships with others, but it initially requires discretion.

As for respect, obviously that needs to be earned. But there's also such a thing as prejudice which I think that more than a few people here are exhibiting here.

I truly understand your situation, when people hear someone’s married and on fab looking to meet someone, some are instant in labelling one as a cheat or someone who is not a nice person etc but not everyone is a dirt bag and some as in a complicated situation which they have to live with..

I’ve Been ‘married’ for last 10 years, been no intimacy for the last 6 or so years. No kisses, hugs, cuddles or sex etc. so I decided to come on here and look for something thats missing from my life.

Surely everyone is allowed to feel some love and companionship?

We’re just remaining together due to having a young child that’s 9 and didn’t want him to grow up in a broken family but I guess once he’s a little older we will both make the move to part ways.

For those that are quick to Judge, it’s not easy to just pack your bags and leave and starting again.. there’s always that fear of being alone or having to buy/rent a new property etc but I do know for myself any way, as soon as my child is old enough to understand then I will surely be walking away, not from being a parent but from a loveless marriage.

Again, apologies for the long winded post!!"

But what if he found out before you split? It'd probably cause him a lot more harm mentally than if you just split up in a dignified way. You'd risk him growing up hating you, is that really worth the risk just so you can get your dick wet?

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *nigmatic_AngelWoman
over a year ago

The place where fairies live


"Morality is weird isn't it? Of course, you're right. It isn't an excuse. I should've left my wife ages ago. Except, if I had, I'd never have seen my daughter again. That was made very clear to me. So I stayed and remained faithful and celibate for nearly two decades.

Because that's what men do. They shut up and take it.

But, of course, I'm the bad guy, because I look for a bit of light and oxygen to stop the world from suffocating me.

I'm a villain because I'm trying to get out from under a life sentence by trying to meet people who I thought were broad minded and full of life and could get me back into the real world again.

Except the broad mindedness only extends to fucking their friends and the occasional stranger, in every other way they're very conservative. If your face doesn't fit, you can piss right off. Am I right?

If I were a woman, it would be tea and sympathy all round. My decisions would be validated, my actions vindicated and the consequences ignored. Someone might say I'm brave or inspiring to do what I did for my daughter. If I were a woman. But I'm not, I'm a man and, apparently, that makes me a scumbag.

Sorry, long post. A little annoyed.

So, 20 years, your child is old enough to choose to see you herself now so you can leave. X

Bingo. Thanks. That's why I'm here."

No you aren't here saying you're OK to leave.. Your post says you're wanting a discrete relationship?

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *0IAN00Man
over a year ago

Dumfries & Galloway

I'm single and I'd certainly meet a married woman without her husband knowing. I know what it's like to be in an affectionless situation . I didn't play away and left but I understand it and if I could have done I probably would have.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *ohnandJulieCouple
over a year ago

.


"

So why not postpone the cheating until you leave??

There's that word again, cheat. It's such a loaded term,full of villainy and betrayal.

But, it's interesting, who is actually the villain here? Is it me? I'm just trying to escape a toxic relationship. Or is it my "partner" who b lack mailed me with my own daughter and then went out of her way to make my life miserable for literally decades.

I'd argue that it was her who was cheating, when she used the one person I loved more than anyone or anything in the world as a bargaining chip to bend me to her will. I was totally loyal, to my little girl. And in all that time I treated my wife with respect and civility, remaining faithful to her, I followed the vows I made at the altar, even if she didn't.

So, who cheated?

But, again, I'm the bad guy. I'm the "cheat". Fine. But it must be nice to be in such happy relationships, I have to wonder though, if we were to swap our places, how many of you would have cheated as well? Perhaps with even less provocation."

So if you are not cheating by going with other women without your wife knowing, what would you call it??

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *arcosaMan
over a year ago

London


" So if you are not cheating by going with other women without your wife knowing, what would you call it??"

I'd call it a natural reaction to my situation in my case.

Everyone has their individual reasons to do what they do. If you disagree with them, it doesn't make them some kind of monster. I just want some friends and fun before I go mad.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *arolandnigelMan
over a year ago

Huddersfield

Hi,male half here,we are married,i am retired and my wife doesnt mind me playing around at all-would be lovely to meet a nice local lady regularly.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *ollydoesWoman
over a year ago

Shangri-La


"So I’m here as a married man, in a dead relationship (long and complicated story). Ideally looking to meet someone likeminded or who doesn’t have an issue with meeting married people.

I have had several comments from other fabbers. Some positive but mostly negative..

Am I the only married man on here looking to meet someone for a discreet affair?

Why is it acceptable for married women but not men or be on Fab?

Would you meet a married man for a discreet relationship?

Thoughts and comments appreciated…

Its not ok for women either. Both are wrong"

It is wrong man or woman. I do see though that the people who think its more acceptable when its a woamen cheating are...the men.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *ollydoesWoman
over a year ago

Shangri-La


"

So why not postpone the cheating until you leave??

There's that word again, cheat. It's such a loaded term,full of villainy and betrayal.

But, it's interesting, who is actually the villain here? Is it me? I'm just trying to escape a toxic relationship. Or is it my "partner" who b lack mailed me with my own daughter and then went out of her way to make my life miserable for literally decades.

I'd argue that it was her who was cheating, when she used the one person I loved more than anyone or anything in the world as a bargaining chip to bend me to her will. I was totally loyal, to my little girl. And in all that time I treated my wife with respect and civility, remaining faithful to her, I followed the vows I made at the altar, even if she didn't.

So, who cheated?

But, again, I'm the bad guy. I'm the "cheat". Fine. But it must be nice to be in such happy relationships, I have to wonder though, if we were to swap our places, how many of you would have cheated as well? Perhaps with even less

provocation."

What vows did she break?

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *imGimMan
over a year ago

london

When I see the word discrete I usually find it means he’s in the closet

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By *0IAN00Man
over a year ago

Dumfries & Galloway


"When I see the word discrete I usually find it means he’s in the closet "

I never realised people think that or married about the word discreet in a profile. I'm neither married or in the closet but I'll take your word a lot are.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *0IAN00Man
over a year ago

Dumfries & Galloway

I think the VAST majority of people on here do want discretion. Just look how many faceless profiles there are or pictures hidden in friends only. It doesn't mean they're cheating. Would they tell all their family,neighbors and work colleagues about what is after all their private life? I know I don't.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *ikingpairCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge


"

So why not postpone the cheating until you leave??

There's that word again, cheat. It's such a loaded term,full of villainy and betrayal.

But, it's interesting, who is actually the villain here? Is it me? I'm just trying to escape a toxic relationship. Or is it my "partner" who b lack mailed me with my own daughter and then went out of her way to make my life miserable for literally decades.

I'd argue that it was her who was cheating, when she used the one person I loved more than anyone or anything in the world as a bargaining chip to bend me to her will. I was totally loyal, to my little girl. And in all that time I treated my wife with respect and civility, remaining faithful to her, I followed the vows I made at the altar, even if she didn't.

So, who cheated?

But, again, I'm the bad guy. I'm the "cheat". Fine. But it must be nice to be in such happy relationships, I have to wonder though, if we were to swap our places, how many of you would have cheated as well? Perhaps with even less

provocation.

What vows did she break?"

Wow. Really? I know you are only hearing his side, but really?

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *ikingpairCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge


" So if you are not cheating by going with other women without your wife knowing, what would you call it??

I'd call it a natural reaction to my situation in my case.

Everyone has their individual reasons to do what they do. If you disagree with them, it doesn't make them some kind of monster. I just want some friends and fun before I go mad. "

I've read through this post with interest. I have been guilty in the past of seeing things as black and white as I was cheated on. However I now believe that people have to make their own decisions and do what they feel is right even if at some point in the future they consider it was the wrong decision. I am shocked at the number of times that I hear that women are using their children against the father. I don't have children - my life choice which some call selfish but I can't think of anything more selfish than threatening to deprive a child of a relationship with their father. It makes me ashamed to be a woman.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *ollydoesWoman
over a year ago

Shangri-La


"

So why not postpone the cheating until you leave??

There's that word again, cheat. It's such a loaded term,full of villainy and betrayal.

But, it's interesting, who is actually the villain here? Is it me? I'm just trying to escape a toxic relationship. Or is it my "partner" who b lack mailed me with my own daughter and then went out of her way to make my life miserable for literally decades.

I'd argue that it was her who was cheating, when she used the one person I loved more than anyone or anything in the world as a bargaining chip to bend me to her will. I was totally loyal, to my little girl. And in all that time I treated my wife with respect and civility, remaining faithful to her, I followed the vows I made at the altar, even if she didn't.

So, who cheated?

But, again, I'm the bad guy. I'm the "cheat". Fine. But it must be nice to be in such happy relationships, I have to wonder though, if we were to swap our places, how many of you would have cheated as well? Perhaps with even less

provocation.

What vows did she break?

Wow. Really? I know you are only hearing

his side, but really? "

Yes really. Any person using a child for black mail or to punish them is completely reprehensible behavior. Its when he said he would argue that it was her who was the one cheating, and he followed the vows made at the alter even if she didnt, which vows was being refered to?

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So I’m here as a married man, in a dead relationship (long and complicated story). Ideally looking to meet someone likeminded or who doesn’t have an issue with meeting married people.

I have had several comments from other fabbers. Some positive but mostly negative..

Am I the only married man on here looking to meet someone for a discreet affair?

Why is it acceptable for married women but not men or be on Fab?

Would you meet a married man for a discreet relationship?

Thoughts and comments appreciated…

Swinging is part of Ethical Non Monogamy.

Affairs are nor ethical, so your pursuit of one is not swinging. "

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *arcosaMan
over a year ago

London


"What vows did she break?"

The same vows I made at the church. In front of our assembled friends,families and a vicar. Those vows. Personally, I don't believe in God, it was my wife who wanted the religious ceremony, but the promises I made were witnessed by all the important people in my life, that's why they're important to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So many perfect people on Fab..NOT my advice is do what you need to do.

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By *ikingpairCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge


"So many perfect people on Fab..NOT my advice is do what you need to do."

Well said! These situations are never black and white. Mr

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *ohnandJulieCouple
over a year ago

.


" So if you are not cheating by going with other women without your wife knowing, what would you call it??

I'd call it a natural reaction to my situation in my case.

Everyone has their individual reasons to do what they do. If you disagree with them, it doesn't make them some kind of monster. I just want some friends and fun before I go mad. "

Maybe you need to revisit your understanding of cheating.

We are not condoning your wife's behaviour whatsoever, but what you are doing is simply what it is.

Cheating on your wife.

Interesting thread though.

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By *layTimeEssexCouple
over a year ago

Stansted

We don't ask and don't really care BUT our big problem is we mainly meet weekends. Married men (and ladies) usually run a mile when weekend meets are suggested. Loads want party invites for example but then can never make a weekend party and want one at say 2pm on Wednesday afternoon

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go to Tinder or Ashley Maddison if you're looking for an extra marital affair. This is a swingers site many of us are simply not interested in meeting attached people who are going behind their partners back. Swinging is about trust.

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By *layTimeEssexCouple
over a year ago

Stansted


"Go to Tinder or Ashley Maddison if you're looking for an extra marital affair. This is a swingers site many of us are simply not interested in meeting attached people who are going behind their partners back. Swinging is about trust."

Agree many are not interested but huge number on Fab are - each to their own. The place is full of single ladies and men who are married. Questionable whether that is swinging of course but then again questionable whether anyone who does the odd one on one meet is swinging, married or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm 110% single and can't get a meet, so why would a cheating married man do any better? Having my marriage broken up by another guy makes me have severe contempt for cheaters!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Agree many are not interested but huge number on Fab are - each to their own. The place is full of single ladies and men who are married. Questionable whether that is swinging of course but then again questionable whether anyone who does the odd one on one meet is swinging, married or not. "

Agree one on one meets are not swinging... especially if married and your other half doesn't know lol

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

Wherever


"

Agree many are not interested but huge number on Fab are - each to their own. The place is full of single ladies and men who are married. Questionable whether that is swinging of course but then again questionable whether anyone who does the odd one on one meet is swinging, married or not.

Agree one on one meets are not swinging... especially if married and your other half doesn't know lol"

Totally agree. It’s cheating, nothing to do with swinging.

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

Yes, I meet married guys and I know many reasons why one half strays but stays married.

It’s easy for those on the outside to condemn but I have been married and know what it’s like to be in a sexless relationship where the spark has gone.

Meeting on here only to meet for some fun is not the same as having an affair which usually involves a relationship and feelings.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I won't meet married men. Ive been cheated on. He didn't have affairs. He had a lot of one nighters. For me, thats worse than affair.

I didn't think my marriage was dead. It was still a full marriage. He was just an arsehole

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By *eandmrsjones69Couple
over a year ago

Middle England


"Yes, I meet married guys and I know many reasons why one half strays but stays married.

It’s easy for those on the outside to condemn but I have been married and know what it’s like to be in a sexless relationship where the spark has gone.

Meeting on here only to meet for some fun is not the same as having an affair which usually involves a relationship and feelings.

"

Does the person cheated on feel it's not the same? "Oh, it was just sex. I didn't love them". Guess that makes it easier to take.

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By *ohnandJulieCouple
over a year ago

.


"Yes, I meet married guys and I know many reasons why one half strays but stays married.

It’s easy for those on the outside to condemn but I have been married and know what it’s like to be in a sexless relationship where the spark has gone.

Meeting on here only to meet for some fun is not the same as having an affair which usually involves a relationship and feelings.

"

It's called cheating.

Dishonest and disrespectful.

This is a swinging site, not a cheating site. Massive clue in the name.

Not judging, simply stating a fact.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

If your in a 'dead' relationship (your words) why not leave?

The thread got pulled or I'd link it but a single female fabber on here open about cheating got received just as much condemnation that the cheating single guys do.

KJ "

I still live with my partner for the kids. We’ve been physically apart for over a year but have maintained a civil relationship otherwise.

In some ways it would be easier to leave, but my children, given their age, mean more than my needs and wants, right now.

I have met some women who are in a similar situation.

Life…we can but try our best

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By *ohnandJulieCouple
over a year ago

.


"

If your in a 'dead' relationship (your words) why not leave?

The thread got pulled or I'd link it but a single female fabber on here open about cheating got received just as much condemnation that the cheating single guys do.

KJ

I still live with my partner for the kids. We’ve been physically apart for over a year but have maintained a civil relationship otherwise.

In some ways it would be easier to leave, but my children, given their age, mean more than my needs and wants, right now.

I have met some women who are in a similar situation.

Life…we can but try our best "

Your partner knows?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

If your in a 'dead' relationship (your words) why not leave?

The thread got pulled or I'd link it but a single female fabber on here open about cheating got received just as much condemnation that the cheating single guys do.

KJ

I still live with my partner for the kids. We’ve been physically apart for over a year but have maintained a civil relationship otherwise.

In some ways it would be easier to leave, but my children, given their age, mean more than my needs and wants, right now.

I have met some women who are in a similar situation.

Life…we can but try our best

Your partner knows?"

That our sex lives are now our own business?

Of course. I don’t rub her face in it as it was my choice to end things. It’s not a sexless marriage. More a marriage with no sex, with the raison detre being the kids.

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By *ikingpairCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge


"Yes, I meet married guys and I know many reasons why one half strays but stays married.

It’s easy for those on the outside to condemn but I have been married and know what it’s like to be in a sexless relationship where the spark has gone.

Meeting on here only to meet for some fun is not the same as having an affair which usually involves a relationship and feelings.

Does the person cheated on feel it's not the same? "Oh, it was just sex. I didn't love them". Guess that makes it easier to take."

Yes it does. I was married and he confessed he was in love with someone else. That was far more of a betrayal than if he had just been shagging someone or lots of people even.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Your not the only one. But most women and couples won’t meet attached men"

Most not all small pond but lovely fish

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t know how people can be so judgemental without knowing one’s situation. You’d think people were saints

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By *ohnandJulieCouple
over a year ago

.


"I don’t know how people can be so judgemental without knowing one’s situation. You’d think people were saints "
##

Not being judgemental.

Surely we all accept that dishonesty and disrespect is wrong?

Moral code, nothing to do with being judgemental!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don’t know how people can be so judgemental without knowing one’s situation. You’d think people were saints "

Agree with this and then we wonder why so many people aren’t honest about being married, look at the reaction it gets.

Yes I’m married, no he doesn’t know and don’t come at me with the pitchforks because I don’t have to justify myself or my actions to anyone else.

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By *ylvieMWoman
over a year ago

Aylesbury

Cheating on a partner after 20 years of abusive behaviour isn't inherently the worst thing in the world.

Is it the best choice? No. But if you have 0 support network it can feel like the only way out for good.

I wont meet married men because I've had an affair before, and I dont want to be involved in similar situations again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always makes me laugh married guys bleating about a sexless marridge. How do you think us long term singles go on? We sometimes only get sex once or twice a year but we just have to put up with it. Selfish gets.

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By *ollydoesWoman
over a year ago

Shangri-La

[Removed by poster at 05/08/22 20:30:49]

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By *ollydoesWoman
over a year ago

Shangri-La


"What vows did she break?

The same vows I made at the church. In front of our assembled friends,families and a vicar. Those vows. Personally, I don't believe in God, it was my wife who wanted the religious ceremony, but the promises I made were witnessed by all the important people in my life, that's why they're important to me."

Didn't ask if they important. I asked what vows she broke? You broke yours by being unfaithful, I want to know what vows you think she broke?

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By *ollydoesWoman
over a year ago

Shangri-La


"What vows did she break?

The same vows I made at the church. In front of our assembled friends,families and a vicar. Those vows. Personally, I don't believe in God, it was my wife who wanted the religious ceremony, but the promises I made were witnessed by all the important people in my life, that's why they're important to me.

Didn't ask if they important. I asked what vows she broke? You broke yours by being unfaithful, I want to know what vows you think she broke?"

Would also just like to say I really believe everyone deserves the chance to be happy in life. No matter what I do really hope you find some happiness too.

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By *ollydoesWoman
over a year ago

Shangri-La


"I don’t know how people can be so judgemental without knowing one’s situation. You’d think people were saints "

Are you married?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don’t know how people can be so judgemental without knowing one’s situation. You’d think people were saints

Are you married?"

No

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By *ohnandJulieCouple
over a year ago

.


"I don’t know how people can be so judgemental without knowing one’s situation. You’d think people were saints

Are you married?

No"

So we take it you don't believe in honesty and respect??

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By *ohnandJulieCouple
over a year ago

.

You don't have to be a saint to believe in those two!!

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By *ister CMan
over a year ago

liverpool

Total abuse of the word ethical in this thread...

Lol legitimising extramarital relationships

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't cheat and would never choose to sleep with a cheater. It's a quality I don't respect.

I can sleep with a married man though, with wife's permission and that's a privilege.

I always thank the "cheater" for their honesty in messages, but it's not something that sits comfortably with me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm sure people on an affairs/cheating site wouldn't be so judgemental or moral..

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By *ister CMan
over a year ago

liverpool


"I'm sure people on an affairs/cheating site wouldn't be so judgemental or moral.. "

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By *ohnandJulieCouple
over a year ago

.


"I'm sure people on an affairs/cheating site wouldn't be so judgemental or moral.. "

That is because they are all having affairs and cheating.

Here we are swingers, not deceiving anyone, not abusing the trust of the person we are supposed to love the most.

Simple really.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith


"Always makes me laugh married guys bleating about a sexless marridge. How do you think us long term singles go on? We sometimes only get sex once or twice a year but we just have to put up with it. Selfish gets."

Would you prefer getting sex once or twice a year, sleeping in your singles bed, or getting no sex a year, sleeping with a woman (your wife) next to you every night?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why don’t all the cheats just fuck all of the other cheats? Simples.

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By *ohnandJulieCouple
over a year ago

.


"Why don’t all the cheats just fuck all of the other cheats? Simples."

Well said that girl!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just be honest. Some ladies and couples prefer married men.

Others don’t, I don’t approach any that have it in their preferences. Unless they make the first move.

I have my own reasons for being on here, I love my wife but we are more friends than anything else now. We have been together since we were teenagers but have both changed.

Best of luck in your search.

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By *arcosaMan
over a year ago

London


"Why don’t all the cheats just fuck all of the other cheats? Simples."

Insightful, well reasoned, empathic and beautifully expressed. These are none of the words I would use to describe this reply.

Sometimes you could walk through a person's deepest thoughts and not even get your ankles wet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just be honest. Some ladies and couples prefer married men.

Others don’t, I don’t approach any that have it in their preferences. Unless they make the first move.

I have my own reasons for being on here, I love my wife but we are more friends than anything else now. We have been together since we were teenagers but have both changed.

Best of luck in your search.

"

Cant love your wife that nuch if your on here cheating. If your not happy grow some balls and leave her and let her find a loyal guy who wont cheat. Yuk

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By *ilverjagMan
over a year ago

swansea

It never ceases to amaze me how in public forums married guys are generally frowned upon, but yet being a successful single guy has worked against me. I've had it on very good authority from two well established guys on here that there are male half of couples on here who won't allow their wives to get together with me as I might be a threat to their so called meaningful relationship. They have also told me that married guys are often the prefered choice of couples especially for bareback because, married guys are more likely to be ultra careful of taking an anti social disease home with them, where single guys may be less cautious. That was even said to me by a single woman on here whose preferred choice was married guys, and also she said that married guys are generally far less needy, or cause complications than ever a single guy would.

Comes to something when us single guys might stand a better chance with some people by actually lying, and saying that we are married!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi

I'm in exactly the same situation its not easy om here as you married women are fine but us men are cheating scum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi

I'm in exactly the same situation its not easy om here as you married women are fine but us men are cheating scum"

That’s not even a bit true is it?

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By *layTimeEssexCouple
over a year ago

Stansted


"Why don’t all the cheats just fuck all of the other cheats? Simples."

Well I think that is what broadly happens. Most of the members are single men chasing single ladies and a large chunk of those are married too (although plenty pretend not). I can see why many object but there are plenty of couples who don't really give a stuff. Actually plenty of the couples too are fuck buddies who are quite possibly married to others. Like many other things here - we all have a our likes and dislikes. Maybe somebody should start a married only swinging site where need to verify with marriage certificates

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It does make me smile when couples blast married men for being unfaithful—- to have and to hold to each other is marriage yet it appears ok for the husband or wife to bang away at someone else outside their marriage It may be with consent but in the eyes of marriage still wrong — I am attached so I will leave it there...not trying to score points— the site is what it is...and I am only passing my comment not opinion — just saying — and thanks for reading

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By *ohnandJulieCouple
over a year ago

.


"It does make me smile when couples blast married men for being unfaithful—- to have and to hold to each other is marriage yet it appears ok for the husband or wife to bang away at someone else outside their marriage It may be with consent but in the eyes of marriage still wrong — I am attached so I will leave it there...not trying to score points— the site is what it is...and I am only passing my comment not opinion — just saying — and thanks for reading "

Just the kind of comment which we would expect from an attached guy.

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By *um and get it.Couple
over a year ago

Spalding


"As soon as i see the word discrete I'm no longer interested. Sure sign of a married man."

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By *iss KinkWoman
over a year ago

North West


"It does make me smile when couples blast married men for being unfaithful—- to have and to hold to each other is marriage yet it appears ok for the husband or wife to bang away at someone else outside their marriage It may be with consent but in the eyes of marriage still wrong — I am attached so I will leave it there...not trying to score points— the site is what it is...and I am only passing my comment not opinion — just saying — and thanks for reading "

Don’t try and make it ok. Your cheating couples who give consent are not

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By *ittyandtheboyCouple
over a year ago

Back of the bins.


"It does make me smile when couples blast married men for being unfaithful—- to have and to hold to each other is marriage yet it appears ok for the husband or wife to bang away at someone else outside their marriage It may be with consent but in the eyes of marriage still wrong — I am attached so I will leave it there...not trying to score points— the site is what it is...and I am only passing my comment not opinion — just saying — and thanks for reading "

I don’t think you’ve got the point of this whole site…

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