FabSwingers.com forum: Why doesn't anyone want to meet me?

By *orthumbrian Gentleman OP Man
over a year ago

Ashington

Why doesn't anyone want to meet me as I'm getting sick of this only ever had one meet on here. I run out people to msg in 20 miles from me now looking at 30 to 40 miles what is dum. I don't understand why no one wants to meet me. I'm stright young male who can accommodate or travel on buses. So what am I doing worng I msg few people they ask for face pic then they block me ect so what's going on.

Any help would be great as I can't understand why I'm not getting meets or anything.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1. Global Pandemic

2. Men are outnumbered

3. Moaning isn't attractive

If you're looking for a quick bonk, other platforms are your best bet. Otherwise be patient and get to know people a little, you meet the best people that way.

Good luck

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By *orthumbrian Gentleman OP Man
over a year ago

Ashington

I been on here since 2018 and only got 1 meet then nothing so can't just be global pandemic also I agree men are outnumbered also I can't find any other platforms and I'm not paying for it. Be patient and get to know people is dum as I done that got to know about 10 people over weeks/months and as soon as they seen my face pic I was blocked after weeks/months of talking so people most care more about looks then meets???

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By *aunchy RaccoonsCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

Probably because everyone's feed is flooded with single guys looking to meet.

As a single guy you should be chuffed by at least achieving a meet!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe have a face pic on your profile first to prevent that from happening in the future?

I'm sure most women would rather that than a nuts pic.

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By *aunchy RaccoonsCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

"I been on here since 2018 and only got 1 meet then nothing so can't just be global pandemic also I agree men are outnumbered also I can't find any other platforms and I'm not paying for it. Be patient and get to know people is dum as I done that got to know about 10 people over weeks/months and as soon as they seen my face pic I was blocked after weeks/months of talking so people most care more about looks then meets???"

And yes people do care about looks, no point meeting so.eone if they're not attracted to them!

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By *orthumbrian Gentleman OP Man
over a year ago

Ashington

I have my face set to private because of my job like most people do here

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

People have to be attracted to you..

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

"Maybe have a face pic on your profile first to prevent that from happening in the future?

I'm sure most women would rather that than a nuts pic."

Or send your face pic in a m1st message, then they know if there's attraction from the start.

Miss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Drop the ruler/cock pic for sure. All that says is vanity, sorry. Not the most appealing trait to advertise.

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By *issAphroditeWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

Being patient and getting to know people is dumb? Alrighty then...

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By *orthumbrian Gentleman OP Man
over a year ago

Ashington

I set it to private and I add that because of people asking how big and saying I wanted proof or its not real

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe they just aren't that into you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" …If you're looking for a quick bonk, other platforms are your best bet…"

Where? Where?! Where?!?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why doesn't anyone want to meet me as I'm getting sick of this only ever had one meet on here. I run out people to msg in 20 miles from me now looking at 30 to 40 miles what is dum. I don't understand why no one wants to meet me. I'm stright young male who can accommodate or travel on buses. So what am I doing worng I msg few people they ask for face pic then they block me ect so what's going on.

Any help would be great as I can't understand why I'm not getting meets or anything."

I think it’s because people here (generally) aren’t free sex workers and desperation is never attractive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's one more meet than most on here.

Maybe you should give people reasons to meet you other than being a 'straight young male'.

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

OP. Given that you stated “I send a face pic and then they block me”. I would say that they are not attracted to you.

This isn’t meant to be unkind. Rejection is a part of life, how we handle that is a part of us.

Imagine walking into a bar on a busy Saturday night. Say there’s 20 girls in there and 400 blokes. What do you think would be your chances of having a “coffee” later?

Fab is like a giant bar, the people in here have the same desires, wants and preferences as the people in a bar, those things don’t disappear just because they have joined fab.

Accept rejection with grace, don’t let it twist you, let it strengthen you.

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

"1. Global Pandemic

2. Men are outnumbered

3. Moaning isn't attractive

If you're looking for a quick bonk, other platforms are your best bet. Otherwise be patient and get to know people a little, you meet the best people that way.

Good luck

Tell me more about these other platforms!?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I set it to private and I add that because of people asking how big and saying I wanted proof or its not real"

You've got people enquiring after your dick size and you're not getting any attention? Which is it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe have a face pic on your profile first to prevent that from happening in the future?

I'm sure most women would rather that than a nuts pic.

Or send your face pic in a m1st message, then they know if there's attraction from the start.

Miss"

Even better

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"maybe you're just ugly op?

Hey don't be mean!

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By *orthumbrian Gentleman OP Man
over a year ago

Ashington

After doing it 10+ times now and getting blocked each time can seems dum if you blocked each time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"maybe you're just ugly op?

That's not nice.

He may not be everyone's cup of tea, as you're not either, but I'm sure he's not ugly.

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By *orthumbrian Gentleman OP Man
over a year ago

Ashington

No I talk to them and they say I only meet people who xyz have you got proof your this size ect and normal it's a no and blocked or they never reply

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Saying someone's advice is dumb might be part of the problem. I have spoken to so many people I've lost count, you can't connect with everyone. If you think speaking to 10 people and finding nothing is exhausting, your expectations are too high. Of course being attracted to someone is important, wd can't be everyone's cup of tea, it's just life unfortunately.

Take a breath

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Usually when people are struggling to get a meet OP it comes down to one of five things, or a combination of some/all of them, so take a look at these and have a think about how you could change them:

Expectations - have you got these set correctly? Do you expect to get meets just for being here? If you do then you have them set wrong, they need to be set as low as possible and then turned down another notch or two. You're not entitled to meets.

Attitude - do you stay positive and act positive and with respect and consideration for others? Or do you come across as yet another entitled bloke who throws his toys because things don't go his way?

Approach - have you found an approach to the site that works for you? Do you get along to group socials, or get involved in the forums or chat rooms for instance, all of which are good ways to get to know people rather than just blindly messaging everyone within a certain radius in the hope of catching a fish?

Profile - is yours well written and does it sell you well, showing people a little of who you are, what you're looking for and more importantly what you can offer them?

Pics - are they appealing and enticing or are they just a series of poorly thought out cock shots? Make them teasing and tasteful rather than blatant and in your face.

None of that will guarantee a thing but it will improve your experience and perception of the site all the same, and what's best is it's all in your control to make the changes to do so.

Another thing that will go against you is your age, nothing you can do about it, but you will be the age of a lot of people's kids and that will rule you put for many unfortunately - so focus on people that are specifically looking for your age group.

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

[Removed by poster at 17/07/21 10:16:00]

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

It's a difficult time for lots of people at the moment. I know you said you weren't getting meets before the pandemic but it has been going on for almost half the time you've been here.

My friendly advice would be to adjust your expectations a bit. It's clear from your experience on here that meeting isn't easy so maybe you need a different approach. Be friendly in the chat rooms, join in the forum in a positive way, that sort of thing.

You are very young and often younger men do find it quite difficult on here but one thing I can assure you of...you will get older.

Don't rely on fab for your sex life either

Now for a bit of mum type advice. Try to be less demanding and don't keep saying things are dumb if they don't go your way or you don't like advice given.

Good luck

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

"Hi

It's a difficult time for lots of people at the moment. I know you said you weren't getting meets before the pandemic but it has been going on for almost half the time you've been here.

You are very young and often younger men do find it quite difficult on here but one thing I can assure you of...you will get older.

Don't rely on fab for your sex life either

Now for a bit of mum type advice. Try to be less demanding and don't keep saying things are dumb if they don't go your way or you don't like advice given.

Good luck

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

"Hi

It's a difficult time for lots of people at the moment. I know you said you weren't getting meets before the pandemic but it has been going on for almost half the time you've been here.

You are very young and often younger men do find it quite difficult on here but one thing I can assure you of...you will get older.

Don't rely on fab for your sex life either

Now for a bit of mum type advice. Try to be less demanding and don't keep saying things are dumb if they don't go your way or you don't like advice given.

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some of what you have on your profile such as hobbies etc would be best off on a Tinder profile, it otherwise reinforces you as a young lad plus you branding everything ’dum’. I am sure this alone is not going to endear women to you especially older.

I was on here years before and saw endless advice given by women to men on their profiles but it seems so many continue to ignore that crucial advice….

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've spoken to various women, all of whom I've seemed to connect with well. Then, all of a sudden, they stop responding. Whether it be they're no longer interested, or something else entirely. I don't know. I don't care either. I just move on. Lifes too short to worry about what people, whom you've never met, think about you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People have to be attracted to you.."

Exactly. Just like in the real world.

Why do so many people forget this?

People on fab are not here to fuck everyone and anyone who asks.

I mean, are you messaging people you don't fancy?

It's a two way street.

And as has already been said, moaning about it is unattractive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Women aren't generally turned on by a shopping list of wanna-tries either (FFM, pregnant, hairy). The pregnant one especially will be a major turnoff to many and probably a big part of why you're getting instant blocks. Makes it sound like you're looking for a fetish delivery vessel, not a person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe have a face pic on your profile first to prevent that from happening in the future?

I'm sure most women would rather that than a nuts pic."

This.... And attraction is where it's at... If the people that would find you attractive aren't within 20 miles, or on here then.... Bugger all you can do about it and nobody elses nor the sites fault, just us how it is.

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By *lasphemousGirlWoman
over a year ago

Cambs

"Usually when people are struggling to get a meet OP it comes down to one of five things, or a combination of some/all of them, so take a look at these and have a think about how you could change them:

Profile - is yours well written and does it sell you well, showing people a little of who you are, what you're looking for and more importantly what you can offer them?

Pics - are they appealing and enticing or are they just a series of poorly thought out cock shots? Make them teasing and tasteful rather than blatant and in your face.

None of that will guarantee a thing but it will improve your experience and perception of the site all the same, and what's best is it's all in your control to make the changes to do so.

This is excellent advice OP, all of the above

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't stress over it as you'll just get worked up over nothing. I get blocked all the time as well, it is what it is.

Just be yourself, if you get meets on here then sound, if you don't it's not the end of the world. It's only Fab.....

Good luck anyway

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By *onb21Woman
over a year ago

Cardiff

If they lose interest when they see your face pic, perhaps you need a better picture?

Personally, I am put off by poor quality, sleepy or frowny pictures, for example, or even decor in the background that is not my style. But ultimately, it's if I find them attractive and how they speak to me.

Other than that, there's a lot of information in your profile that you may not need to be so specific about. There's also a paragraph that many people use as a reason to block someone.

There are lots of threads on the forums with messaging advice if you feel that may be of help, too.

Good luck!

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

How many clubs or organised socials have you been to?

Relying on purely a website to make connections and get a shag is dum.

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By *orthumbrian Gentleman OP Man
over a year ago

Ashington

True I'm just trying find someone to have regular fun with as I'm not about dating life or anything

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By *orthumbrian Gentleman OP Man
over a year ago

Ashington

None as I can't drink for medical reasons so no real point going if I'm only person there not drinking is what puts me most of clubs and most clubs ect I can't get to because of public transport sadly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"True I'm just trying find someone to have regular fun with as I'm not about dating life or anything"

Then why list out your hobbies? I can see why you are failing with your profile and attitude. Women have given you some excellent advice on here but I have a feeling you are not going to listen. So good luck I guess

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

I wish you the best Op

Just keep trying seem like a Decent fella xxx

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"None as I can't drink for medical reasons so no real point going if I'm only person there not drinking is what puts me most of clubs and most clubs ect I can't get to because of public transport sadly "

So everyone in a swingers club drinks do they? So everyone at organised socials drinks do they?

Guess what? I don't drive either but one thing you have to do is make an effort. That dear boy is where you're lacking it seems. Effort in = reward out.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Yeah travel further x

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By *orthumbrian Gentleman OP Man
over a year ago

Ashington

I would love too just got save up money as buses expensive never realised how much they gone up to few months ago as got 2 bus to Newcastle from where I live 23 pound

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"I would love too just got save up money as buses expensive never realised how much they gone up to few months ago as got 2 bus to Newcastle from where I live 23 pound "

Xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try moaning in the forums and see if you can get a sympathy shag? Oh, wait a minute..

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Try moaning in the forums and see if you can get a sympathy shag? Oh, wait a minute.. "

No need for that

Do you know how hes feeling?

Do you know what hes going through

A throw away remark like that is uncalled for.

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"How many clubs or organised socials have you been to?

Relying on purely a website to make connections and get a shag is dum."

This.

If you’re doing the same thing and getting the same results, then how do you change that?

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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

I think a lot of guys come on here because they think it will be easy to get sex.

In fact it's probably at least twice as hard as in real life. So if you're not getting it in real life, you probably less likely to get it here.

If fab isn't working for you, nice on to pastures greener

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By *rMojoRisinMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

"I think a lot of guys come on here because they think it will be easy to get sex.

In fact it's probably at least twice as hard as in real life. So if you're not getting it in real life, you probably less likely to get it here.

If fab isn't working for you, nice on to pastures greener

This!

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By *mTheMrJMan
over a year ago

Barry

I sometimes find it helps to look at things from another perspective, if you were talking to someone and you then seen pics and you felt unattracted to them, then surely you'd not engage further with them as they aren't what you are looking for.

Change your outlook, if you aren't right for those then they aren't right for you.

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By *batMan
over a year ago

Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales)

A big red flag for a lot of people is your last paragraph. WHY do you think this site is a publicly traded entity? It’s not!!!

And what sort of legal action do you think you’d take? What does that even look like? You won’t post a public face pic here, so I guess do you’ll have to wear a mask all day in court?

That whole last paragraph is just sheer bullshit that you’ve copied and pasted from someone else who’s got it all wrong.

You would improve your profile massively just by deleting this. There’s lots of other advice from other posters here too. Follow it.

Or don’t follow it, but then why start this thread in the first place.

Personally, at 22 you might be more successful by joining a sports club or some other social group.

Best of luck

Gbat

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By *inkyKittyWoman
over a year ago

Swindon

I’m sorry (not sorry) but these threads annoy me, and have to say something..

As a single woman (genuinely single), I’m on a SWINGERS site to be a swinger!

I’m not here to just hook up… if I was, then I’d be on something else, like dial-a-girl/man (just made that name up, no idea if it’s a real thing, but you get my point)!

You want to stand out from all the masses of single men? Be genuine, show a little face (if you can’t because of “work”, show a smile at least).

You say you’ve been here since 2018!! Not alot of effort has been put in on your side….

Have you gone to socials, clubs, joined group kik groups, or even spoken to a fellow single male (just for guidance and advice).

*sarcastic tone* Surprisingly enough you are allowed verifications from people who have met you in a non sexual way!!

We are all a little nervous in the beginning, heck I went to my first club when I was 22 ON MY OWN!!

You get to a point where you grow some, and take the dive!

Whining posts like this make you look more desperate.. do some research, there are already enough threads here where men ask this all the time!

Task for the weekend…. Try and meet someone for a coffee (make it clear your not looking to play, purely a social). That way you’ve actually met someone who is on the same wavelength AND you have a verification!!

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Try moaning in the forums and see if you can get a sympathy shag? Oh, wait a minute..

No need for that

Do you know how hes feeling?

Do you know what hes going through

A throw away remark like that is uncalled for."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok, my thoughts. Your 22 you've been on here since 2018.

This all raises concerns for me on many levels.

Our brains do not reach development until 26-30. This is when the prefrontal cortex is fully developed. This is important. Although some will have more resilient brains, exposure to problematic stimuli and scenarios can have a detrimental effect. I would class porn and sex sites problematic scenarios. Why because it desensitises, it sets unrealistc expectations, studies have found that early enguagment in the afore mentioned can lead to the inability to become aroused in tue real world, in a repationship. It is also reported that erectile dysfunction in young men has risen to 30%.

How can anyone your age in the real world so to speak match and preform to that which you see discussed ect here?

People here are making an informed choice sexualy (mostly).

How, by having lived and experienced sex as part of their natural life development.

At 22 I would argue you have not.

I would also question why you are on these sites from such a young age. Why you are not out living your life fully, experiencing the ups amd downs of it. All of which help shapes and moulds us as a functioning (debateable lol) human being.

You are still a young person, you may be over 18 but at 22 whether you like it or not, probabley not, your brain ect has not yet fully developed.

The prefrontal cortex is responsible for decision making, as you have been on here since 2018...I rest my case.

I would say get off the sites and seek connection, real connection elsewhere, be a 22 year old painful and frustrating as that may be. It's a natural part of your growth and development.

Now go, put down some roots to grow and you will find the wings to fly

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By *piral36Man
over a year ago

South west

Lol you should try being 50 and podgy lol

I just like chatting and taking a look at the profiles, you can have a real laugh with people, most have a great sense of humor, unfortunately the folks I've been chatting too are just too far away.

To be fair I have a FB in the real world so not that fussed about meeting loads of people.

Enjoy it for what it is!!

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"I’m sorry (not sorry) but these threads annoy me, and have to say something..

As a single woman (genuinely single), I’m on a SWINGERS site to be a swinger!

I’m not here to just hook up… if I was, then I’d be on something else, like dial-a-girl/man (just made that name up, no idea if it’s a real thing, but you get my point)!

You want to stand out from all the masses of single men? Be genuine, show a little face (if you can’t because of “work”, show a smile at least).

You say you’ve been here since 2018!! Not alot of effort has been put in on your side….

Have you gone to socials, clubs, joined group kik groups, or even spoken to a fellow single male (just for guidance and advice).

*sarcastic tone* Surprisingly enough you are allowed verifications from people who have met you in a non sexual way!!

We are all a little nervous in the beginning, heck I went to my first club when I was 22 ON MY OWN!!

You get to a point where you grow some, and take the dive!

Whining posts like this make you look more desperate.. do some research, there are already enough threads here where men ask this all the time!

Good luck

Bit harsh

He has explained himself.

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By *orthumbrian Gentleman OP Man
over a year ago

Ashington

There's no woman my age who I can go out with in real world as like o said can't drink because of medical reasons massive red flag to all women and then I'm not 420 second massive red flag as I don't do drugs and never will. So 99% women in my town and near by me avoid me because I don't do drugs and I don't drink so they don't want to know me unless I'm piss d*unk and doing drugs and yes that is case in my town

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's no woman my age who I can go out with in real world as like o said can't drink because of medical reasons massive red flag to all women and then I'm not 420 second massive red flag as I don't do drugs and never will. So 99% women in my town and near by me avoid me because I don't do drugs and I don't drink so they don't want to know me unless I'm piss d*unk and doing drugs and yes that is case in my town"

You need to move