FabSwingers.com forum: Where am I going wrong?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Been on here a few months now. Came on as I heard that most people are pretty Liberal and don't judge.

Married man looking to find something I'm missing at home and to scratch some itches I have.

I don't get much interest and wondered if I'm approaching this wrong.

I don't have face pics due to being married but otherwise like to be honest and upfront.

Just wondering if my profile is the issue or if what I'm looking for is.

I also don't know where the line is when you start chatting. I get the sense I either take it too far or not far enough.

Would welcome any suggestions/feedback.

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By *ud and BryanCouple
over a year ago

Boston, Lincolnshire

The main issue is probably the fact we've been in a pandemic since before you joined, so can't actually meet anyone.

When they're open, you're best bet will be to try a club.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Been on here a few months now. Came on as I heard that most people are pretty Liberal and don't judge.

Married man looking to find something I'm missing at home and to scratch some itches I have.

I don't get much interest and wondered if I'm approaching this wrong.

I don't have face pics due to being married but otherwise like to be honest and upfront.

Just wondering if my profile is the issue or if what I'm looking for is.

I also don't know where the line is when you start chatting. I get the sense I either take it too far or not far enough.

Would welcome any suggestions/feedback.

“Don’t judge you by your profile” it’s your profile, your window to show people who and what you are and about so people will judge you by it

Being married will naturally put some people off, that’s life, it’s not that you’re married it’s that you’re potentially doing it behind her back without her knowledge that’s where some people have the issue.

With regards to photos. A lot of people don’t show faces and have amazing photos so have a look at others profiles for ideas

No one should be meeting at the moment but if you only want video fun where are you going to do that? From work? Upstairs with your wife downstairs?

Not beating on you, there’s a lot of choice for people on here, one positive is you are honest about your situation. Some aren’t

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Been on here a few months now. Came on as I heard that most people are pretty Liberal and don't judge.

Married man looking to find something I'm missing at home and to scratch some itches I have.

I don't get much interest and wondered if I'm approaching this wrong.

I don't have face pics due to being married but otherwise like to be honest and upfront.

Just wondering if my profile is the issue or if what I'm looking for is.

I also don't know where the line is when you start chatting. I get the sense I either take it too far or not far enough.

Would welcome any suggestions/feedback.

Being a dishonest cheat will put a lot of people off.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I appreciate that will be the beverage consensus but not every situation is as simple as it looks.

I have reasons for doing this but remaining married which in not going to disclose in a profile but would if I got chatting.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

The first words of your profile say you are honest and upfront, but you aren't with your wife, which makes me wonder how much of the rest of your profile text is honest. There are photos of your penis with children's toys and paintings in the background. Personally I find this offputting.

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By *lan157Man
over a year ago

a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex

Like it or not OP you are assessed by your profile. It's asking to much for women to message you and seek further particulars from you. You have your profile, your published photos and the first couple of lines of your message . Outside of clubs and socials that's all your have to make a positive impression and get your message read.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The first words of your profile say you are honest and upfront, but you aren't with your wife, which makes me wonder how much of the rest of your profile text is honest. There are photos of your penis with children's toys and paintings in the background. Personally I find this offputting. "

Does part-time honest exist?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If his wife has cheated on him does this make him a cheat too?

Does OP want to protect his family by staying with his cheating wife for the sake of his kids?

Maybe..just maybe..life isnt all it seems..

I wonder..to the people who call this guy dishonest or a cheat..ask yourself one question..just one..

Have i ever been dishonest or cheated?

If you answer no..then i say your probably a self righteous hypocrite!

Maybe..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you for all the honesty. I have my reasons for not telling my wife and again not what I'm prepared to share publicly.

I didn't have dick pics as thought they would be off putting (kids toys or not) but in viewing other male posts with meets there were a lot that had them. Will bear in mind.

I appreciate that it's hard to be trusted with what info I do give but here's hoping someone will.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you, you are totally right. Guess I'm not as good at this as I thought I might be

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If his wife has cheated on him does this make him a cheat too?

Does OP want to protect his family by staying with his cheating wife for the sake of his kids?

Maybe..just maybe..life isnt all it seems..

I wonder..to the people who call this guy dishonest or a cheat..ask yourself one question..just one..

Have i ever been dishonest or cheated?

If you answer no..then i say your probably a self righteous hypocrite!

Maybe..

If his wife has cheated then he cheats, well he is a cheat.

Staying for the kids is an awful burden out on the kids, and we have seen the damage that this does to the kids in later life.

OP says that he is looking for what he isn't getting at home.

Why not sort home out?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm glad you have such an easy life where decisions come without consequence.

What says I haven't tried to sort out "home" and who says it can be sorted.

My kids are my life and I will do what I think is right for them at this time and not what is discussed in woman's own or the sun.

I'm glad I posted this to that even though this site is for the sexually expressive this doesn't make the open minded or empathetic.

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By *aunchy RaccoonsCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

We've been approached by a few wanting to keep it away from their partners and what mainly put us off was the thought of us potentially being home wreckers.

Sounds like you may need to have a long chat with your wife about this sort of thing. (If you haven't already done so)

We talked and it turned out we'd both been wanting to do the same thing for awhile.

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By *ensual -lover69Man
over a year ago

Blackburn

"If his wife has cheated on him does this make him a cheat too?

Does OP want to protect his family by staying with his cheating wife for the sake of his kids?

Maybe..just maybe..life isnt all it seems..

I wonder..to the people who call this guy dishonest or a cheat..ask yourself one question..just one..

Have i ever been dishonest or cheated?

If you answer no..then i say your probably a self righteous hypocrite!

Maybe..

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By *arbarianzCouple
over a year ago

BARNSTAPLE

You're in a tough spot, as I can say, for us, that's a red flag.

we don't cast any judgement! you do you, but WE don't want to be responsible for any marriages breaking down/families breaking up etc.. it insta kills any potential 'mood' before it starts for us!

Good luck though!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Been on here a few months now. Came on as I heard that most people are pretty Liberal and don't judge.

Married man looking to find something I'm missing at home and to scratch some itches I have.

I don't get much interest and wondered if I'm approaching this wrong.

I don't have face pics due to being married but otherwise like to be honest and upfront.

Just wondering if my profile is the issue or if what I'm looking for is.

I also don't know where the line is when you start chatting. I get the sense I either take it too far or not far enough.

Would welcome any suggestions/feedback.

Isn't there a site for hookups....Tider, no.... Tindo, no its something like that.

True swingers won't appreciate you cheating and give you a wide berth, you give swingers a bad name.

There will be some on this site who like that you're married, but that isn't swinging, maybe you'll have luck with them if you can find them.

I would say good luck but I think your wife deserves my good wishes more!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Been on here a few months now. Came on as I heard that most people are pretty Liberal and don't judge.

Married man looking to find something I'm missing at home and to scratch some itches I have.

I don't get much interest and wondered if I'm approaching this wrong.

I don't have face pics due to being married but otherwise like to be honest and upfront.

Just wondering if my profile is the issue or if what I'm looking for is.

I also don't know where the line is when you start chatting. I get the sense I either take it too far or not far enough.

Would welcome any suggestions/feedback.

Don't forget, the point of your profile is to sell you to other people. To give people a choice in whether to interact with you, or not. Some people on here prefer to meet attached guys as it works for them. Personally, we see it as drama that would kill any kind of hotness in the situation.

Aside from all of that, you're a single guy (biggest % of users on FAB) and it's a pandemic.

Not much anyone can do about that.

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By * F 2018Couple
over a year ago

shropshire

"Been on here a few months now. Came on as I heard that most people are pretty Liberal and don't judge.

Married man looking to find something I'm missing at home and to scratch some itches I have.

I don't get much interest and wondered if I'm approaching this wrong.

I don't have face pics due to being married but otherwise like to be honest and upfront.

Just wondering if my profile is the issue or if what I'm looking for is.

I also don't know where the line is when you start chatting. I get the sense I either take it too far or not far enough.

Would welcome any suggestions/feedback.

For me (foxy) your married and when you won't show a pic because of that it definitely be no but thats my opinion

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By * F 2018Couple
over a year ago

shropshire

"Been on here a few months now. Came on as I heard that most people are pretty Liberal and don't judge.

Married man looking to find something I'm missing at home and to scratch some itches I have.

I don't get much interest and wondered if I'm approaching this wrong.

I don't have face pics due to being married but otherwise like to be honest and upfront.

Just wondering if my profile is the issue or if what I'm looking for is.

I also don't know where the line is when you start chatting. I get the sense I either take it too far or not far enough.

Would welcome any suggestions/feedback.

Isn't there a site for hookups....Tider, no.... Tindo, no its something like that.

True swingers won't appreciate you cheating and give you a wide berth, you give swingers a bad name.

There will be some on this site who like that you're married, but that isn't swinging, maybe you'll have luck with them if you can find them.

I would say good luck but I think your wife deserves my good wishes more!"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks guys. I appreciate the honesty and maybe a dose of reality I was needing.

I certainly have no intentions on hurting my wife but realise that you can't guarantee that.

Time to sit and think what I want, what I need and if I need to change.

Thank you.

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By *ornyhotcouple696969Couple
over a year ago

Oxfordshire

I think the biggest problem on fab now a days is that it is being used as a fuck n go site.

Very few genuine swingers around on here now. Most just want cam fun and their pics on page one!

Yes your married, yes you're potentially cheating, but there are hundreds, if not thousands of people on here, just like you.

Genuine swingers will want a social in a public place, not really something you can do. Then they may want to meet with you, mainly in the evenings, which one would guess you also can't do.

If you need a sexual release, then as has been stated, there are sites like that available.

Personally we don't judge people who are married, as there are many reasons behind looking elsewhere for relief.

But swingers like to build up a friendship, as well as sex, which again you'll struggle to do.

As many have said, your profile is the biggest issue, it really doesn't sell you. You've said what you want, but nothing about what you can bring to the table, to make a couple think hmmm he could be fun.

Lastly your pics will be the first thing people look at.

Pics that look like they've been scribbled over by a child are very off putting. I'm sure you could find a room or stand in front of a door, so that people can see you, rather than scribbles everywhere.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whether you like it or don’t, the second you put yourself out somewhere like this, you’re going to be judged.

Being married and cheating is your choice, and you may have to live with the consequences one day, but that’s on you. Personally, I have a tendency to move away from attached men as they are inconsistent and unreliable, and because I don’t want drama.

That aside, your profile isn’t really any different from most other guys on here, and we’re in the middle of a pandemic.

Good luck though xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you

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