FabSwingers.com forum: Messaging single guys

By *uncoupleDerby OP Couple
over a year ago

derby

I'm sure this has been asked before but here goes...

We've filtered out single guys so they can't message us but we've recently come across someone we quite like.

We've messaged him, can he now message us or will his messages still get blocked?

Thanks

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By *tillup4funMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

"Hi

I'm sure this has been asked before but here goes...

We've filtered out single guys so they can't message us but we've recently come across someone we quite like.

We've messaged him, can he now message us or will his messages still get blocked?

Thanks"

Yes he can message you now but some guys don't like it when you have "not looking for single guys" on your profile then you message them makes them feel like a piece of meat be had just when you want it.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Thanks

Really? I would have thought they may think to themselves that some couples prefer to choose the men they mail and they have chosen you.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

To the OP...yes

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By *tillup4funMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

Thanks

Really? I would have thought they may think to themselves that some couples prefer to choose the men they mail and they have chosen you."

Yes some will think like that but for one don't meet couples with it on their profile I turned down a meet yesterday for that reason they were surprised too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi

I'm sure this has been asked before but here goes...

We've filtered out single guys so they can't message us but we've recently come across someone we quite like.

We've messaged him, can he now message us or will his messages still get blocked?

Thanks"

Yes he will be able to reply and a lot of people do what you do without any problems at all

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By *lighty1Woman
over a year ago

You Dont Need to Know, right now

"Yes he can message you now but some guys don't like it when you have "not looking for single guys" on your profile then you message them makes them feel like a piece of meat be had just when you want it."

A strange way of thinking!. Single guys should think about it from a couple's viewpoint. If a couple don't use their filters to prevent single guys from making first contact, their inbox gets swamped with messages - many of them crude or one-liners. So, to avoid that hassle they set their filters, and seek out the single guys who have made the effort with their profile. It is a COMPLIMENT when such a couple make the first contact with a single guy. They are acknowledging that he is in the top 5% of single guys on here. In no way is that treating him as a 'piece of meat'.

The line "not looking for single guys" is what Fab automatically puts on profiles, when someone filters out first contact from single males. It doesn't mean they don't play with single males, it just means they want to keep their inbox manageable.

Any single males who decline a meet because "your profile says your not looking for single males" is just cutting his nose off, to spite his face.

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World

As those above have said, any that are outside your message filters can reply once you have mailed them.

And as I know the quality of messages that can be received from single guys you are doing the smart thing by blocking them from mailing and doing the searching yourself.

Ignore the quite bizarre comment above

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By *tillup4funMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

Any single males who decline a meet because "your profile says your not looking for single males" is just cutting his nose off, to spite his face."

That's your opinion and you are welcome to have it but its my profile and my opinion that matters to me not yours

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By *udistnorthantsMan
over a year ago

Desborough

I take it as a compliment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi

I'm sure this has been asked before but here goes...

We've filtered out single guys so they can't message us but we've recently come across someone we quite like.

We've messaged him, can he now message us or will his messages still get blocked?

Thanks

What an odd way to look at things

You do know it just means people prefer to do the first messages themselves right?..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thanks

Really? I would have thought they may think to themselves that some couples prefer to choose the men they mail and they have chosen you.

Yes some will think like that but for one don't meet couples with it on their profile I turned down a meet yesterday for that reason they were surprised too"

I will confirm this the way I think too...or they're taking the piss. If they have me filtered out as a single guy I won't meet them as obviously it's totally on their terms. The meet will most likely also be totally on their terms. I'm surprised you think otherwise Ruby.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Thanks

Really? I would have thought they may think to themselves that some couples prefer to choose the men they mail and they have chosen you.

Yes some will think like that but for one don't meet couples with it on their profile I turned down a meet yesterday for that reason they were surprised too

Why are you surprised I thought how I did?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's wrong with the meet being totally at the couples discretion you still have the option to go with it or not ,I would be fine with it

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"What's wrong with the meet being totally at the couples discretion you still have the option to go with it or not ,I would be fine with it

I personally think it should be equal for all parties and not at a couples or females whim only

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Any single males who decline a meet because "your profile says your not looking for single males" is just cutting his nose off, to spite his face."

I stand to differ with some of your observations/assuptions. I look at any who message me and have me as a single guy or age filtered out with suspicion. They havent read my profile... (im single) or (out of their age range) is my first reaction...second I'll wonder if they're taking the piss or desperate. I'll reply but with a no thank you, you're not looking for single guys.

It's got nothing to do with spite. I don't like being messed about and too many guys are being messed about....too many no shows. They most likely would fall into the no show category for me. I'm sorry if that offends anyone but the filters are there....If what you say is true then why do women go on about the no reply to a message as not interested....It could also be interpreted overlooked because of too many messages...block delete as some admit to doing..or mistaken delete..or too busy...

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By *lighty1Woman
over a year ago

You Dont Need to Know, right now

" ....If what you say is true then why do women go on about the no reply to a message as not interested....It could also be interpreted overlooked because of too many messages...block delete as some admit to doing..or mistaken delete..or too busy... "

I'm sorry, but your argument makes no sense to me. You only want to meet people who will let YOU make the first approach. So, you are insisting that they let ALL men of your age group make the first approach. Which leads to them getting too many messages, and messages (including yours) being deleted for whatever reasons.

It seems to me that you want to do the chasing, and you want people to allow themselves to be 'caught' by you, after insisting that they first wade through the crude and crap messages which will make up the vast majority of their inbox. Instead of which, the site has a useful tool, which enables them to avoid the dross, and means they will be in a much better frame of mind, when they open a dialogue with a single man like yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess from everyone's surprised replies that many fabbers assume others understand they know how the filters should be interpreted... we interpret how very differently....and it's a shame some turn to use the ' spite' card quickly if turned down...many women dont take being turned down very well. ..to personal. It's more llikely the other has a good reason.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Missed the target by miles on ur assumptions. ...couldn't be further from the truth.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I'm not mmistaken. ..99% of guys here would love messages and a woman actually messaging first. Most men know how tiring and often fruitless the chasing can be.....some of us know what we what and are willing to wait. The everyday type of meet can easily be arranged off of here.

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By *tillup4funMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

"Hi

I'm sure this has been asked before but here goes...

We've filtered out single guys so they can't message us but we've recently come across someone we quite like.

We've messaged him, can he now message us or will his messages still get blocked?

Thanks

What an odd way to look at things

You do know it just means people prefer to do the first messages themselves right?.. "

Yes I do know that but there are plenty of couples and single females on here without "not looking for single guys" on their profile and I,m a person too that might want to send the first message

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By *tillup4funMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

Its a two way street couples and single female can message anyone then single guys should have the same option.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi

I'm sure this has been asked before but here goes...

We've filtered out single guys so they can't message us but we've recently come across someone we quite like.

We've messaged him, can he now message us or will his messages still get blocked?

Thanks

What an odd way to look at things

You do know it just means people prefer to do the first messages themselves right?..

Yes I do know that but there are plenty of couples and single females on here without "not looking for single guys" on their profile and I,m a person too that might want to send the first message"

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By *tillup4funMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

"As those above have said, any that are outside your message filters can reply once you have mailed them.

And as I know the quality of messages that can be received from single guys you are doing the smart thing by blocking them from mailing and doing the searching yourself.

Ignore the quite bizarre comment above

Nothing bizarre about the comment above its a two way street a few clicks removes the "not looking for single guys" when people are looking for them and a few clicks puts it back on for when they are not looking for single guys simples.

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By *tillup4funMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

"Hi

I'm sure this has been asked before but here goes...

We've filtered out single guys so they can't message us but we've recently come across someone we quite like.

We've messaged him, can he now message us or will his messages still get blocked?

Thanks

What an odd way to look at things

You do know it just means people prefer to do the first messages themselves right?.. "

Am I not a people then with the right to send the first message if not what am I?

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World

And if you could read the some of the vulgar, crass and outright scary messages that I have received you would know why many have their filters on so very tight.

I could have looking for a man between X and Y ages, who has interests similar to mine, within a distance of X miles who meets in the same clubs I do. I will still get messages from men in scotland who, who hate clubs, only meet in hotels, who are 15 years outside my preferences and don't match my interests.

And their message is frequently 'you free or meet now', or leading to the gutter.

So I filter and look myself and ONLY message those who fit the bill on paper.

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By *eliciousladyWoman
over a year ago

Sometimes U.K

The answer to your question OP is 'yes' as you have messaged him, the filter won't apply to him and he will be able to message you back.

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By *tillup4funMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

"And if you could read the some of the vulgar, crass and outright scary messages that I have received you would know why many have their filters on so very tight.

And their message is frequently 'you free or meet now', or leading to the gutter.

So I filter and look myself and ONLY message those who fit the bill on paper."

Nobody is saying you are wrong doing that its your choice has is my choice of not meeting people with "not looking for single guys" on their profile but you say that's bizarre seems like 1 rule for you and a different rule for single guys.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi

I'm sure this has been asked before but here goes...

We've filtered out single guys so they can't message us but we've recently come across someone we quite like.

We've messaged him, can he now message us or will his messages still get blocked?

Thanks

What an odd way to look at things

You do know it just means people prefer to do the first messages themselves right?..

Am I not a people then with the right to send the first message if not what am I?"

I meant people who have the filter on... And I think you know I did... I'm not saying anyone is wrong... Just it's an odd way to look at it.. As it is the site that writes that automatically.. Not the person

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