Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
Back to forum list |
Back to Site help |
Jump to newest |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I see your point, but disagree I have just read a few profiles and here are some quotes 'no single men' 'bbc only no white guys' 'no fuck buddy couples, married only' 'no beards' 'no one with pubic hair' 'no couples' 'no one over 40' 'no one under 30' and even one that said 'no traffic wardens' whilst as I say I see your point, and respect where you are coming from is saying what you don't want and who you don't want to meet racist, sexist, ageist or just as people say ' expressing a preference' ? or is it just making people aware of what you like / dislike ? " Great post. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I see your point, but disagree I have just read a few profiles and here are some quotes 'no single men' 'bbc only no white guys' 'no fuck buddy couples, married only' 'no beards' 'no one with pubic hair' 'no couples' 'no one over 40' 'no one under 30' and even one that said 'no traffic wardens' whilst as I say I see your point, and respect where you are coming from is saying what you don't want and who you don't want to meet racist, sexist, ageist or just as people say ' expressing a preference' ? or is it just making people aware of what you like / dislike ? " No traffic wardens Funny | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I see your point, but disagree I have just read a few profiles and here are some quotes 'no single men' 'bbc only no white guys' 'no fuck buddy couples, married only' 'no beards' 'no one with pubic hair' 'no couples' 'no one over 40' 'no one under 30' and even one that said 'no traffic wardens' whilst as I say I see your point, and respect where you are coming from is saying what you don't want and who you don't want to meet racist, sexist, ageist or just as people say ' expressing a preference' ? or is it just making people aware of what you like / dislike ? No traffic wardens Funny" Traffic wardenists. Can't see there being mass (socially distant) rallies in support tbh | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I have a racial preference towards east asian men but I don't put it on my profile because I don't want other people to feel like I'll discount them because they aren't asian. Its actually just a preference, I wouldn't turn someone down for their race. I think if you are excluding an entire race of people based on your perception of how that race looks then there may be more at play there than a simple preference. I'd still like to know though so I can avoid people like that. " | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"Blacks Whites Beardies Gingers even traffic wardens believe it or not all have rights, but having sex with you is not one them " well said. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I see your point, but disagree I have just read a few profiles and here are some quotes 'no single men' 'bbc only no white guys' 'no fuck buddy couples, married only' 'no beards' 'no one with pubic hair' 'no couples' 'no one over 40' 'no one under 30' and even one that said 'no traffic wardens' whilst as I say I see your point, and respect where you are coming from is saying what you don't want and who you don't want to meet racist, sexist, ageist or just as people say ' expressing a preference' ? or is it just making people aware of what you like / dislike ? No traffic wardens Funny" Funny indeed, but it is actually on a profile ! | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I think it depends on how it is said... If someone says; I have a preference for white guys/women then I dont think anyone can be upset by that..but if someone is using capital letters like; NO ASIANS then it certainly makes me feel uncomfortable." Surely its a human right to put what we prefer. I try so hard not be shouty but if i dnt i get continous messages saying. Im tanned. Ive got a huge black man cock. Im better than a black man. SO WHAT. I dont go with black because of size . I like a brain and personality. Im not the one typecasting. Ive tried so now i make it clear. Does it work nope. But i wnt change it | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I see your point, but disagree I have just read a few profiles and here are some quotes 'no single men' 'bbc only no white guys' 'no fuck buddy couples, married only' 'no beards' 'no one with pubic hair' 'no couples' 'no one over 40' 'no one under 30' and even one that said 'no traffic wardens' whilst as I say I see your point, and respect where you are coming from is saying what you don't want and who you don't want to meet racist, sexist, ageist or just as people say ' expressing a preference' ? or is it just making people aware of what you like / dislike ? No traffic wardens Funny Funny indeed, but it is actually on a profile !" Saw one with "No Tories!". We avoid talking about 3 things on a meet. polotics money and religion, those three are are to alienate people | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"Expressing a preference for something is fine and non-discriminatory. Expressing a preference against an entire race is discriminatory and racist and even if that is your preference there are ways to deal with it without causing offence. However, I get the feeling that it is stated to do just that in a lot of cases because that's how society is." Great post and very much food for thought. I admire you for highlighting this as an issue on here. Preference is fine. Discriminating is not. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I have a racial preference towards east asian men but I don't put it on my profile because I don't want other people to feel like I'll discount them because they aren't asian. Its actually just a preference, I wouldn't turn someone down for their race. I think if you are excluding an entire race of people based on your perception of how that race looks then there may be more at play there than a simple preference. I'd still like to know though so I can avoid people like that. " Very well put, this is my understanding! I don’t think I would outright call people racist for it, but it’s just bizarre to me that people can know that they’re not attracted to someone just based off their skin colour! By saying ‘no black men’, you’re putting everyone into that one category, and saying they are all equally unattractive to you. For me that’s like putting Idris Elba and Snoop Dogg in the same category or Brad Pitt and Steve Buschemi... To say you find an entire race unattractive is just a little narrow minded imo. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
" and even one that said 'no traffic wardens' " I can understand that one | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"No Blacks or No Asians ,used to be a sign post outside public buildings during colonial era , which becomes very sensitive to both races , especially if it comes from a Caucasian profile . We do understand the preference issue but could rephrase it . Rather than saying No Asians ,you can mention your preference like " Caucasian preferred" It would be more positive . In our case , hubby is exclusively ignored many times . We get replies as " We don't mind playing with you but not with your husband " Or " I like you but my wife won't play with your husband " I think somewhere people shud start being sensitive towards others too when they write such things. Rest " we don't care what people write as it exposes them and not us" " You're joking? People really say that to you?? I have preferences but I would never disregard someone on the basis of race I have the same standards for everyone | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"Having a preference for something is not an expression of racism. Discriminating against a whole race is. No-one is asking anyone to have sex with anyone they don't want but expressions of racism are wrong and cause offence. The initial point was to request people that run this site to include within their Acceptable Use Policy (AUP) a statement stating racism of this form is not acceptable. It's offensive and should not be included in people's profiles" But its not racist if people do not want to fuck someone from a race. If it offends you block those profiles, don't meet them. I don't fuck men off here. It says no single men on our profile. Does that make me sexist? Will fab stop people putting that on our profile? | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"..... Is it acceptable to state that in your profile or should this be considered racist and against this site's acceptable use policy? Would we get away with stating no handicapped people? We all have preferences and there's no problem with that but we suspect some state this deliberately to make a statement. It's not needed and insensitive in our opinion. " I see more profiles asking specifically for black men, what statement do you think that makes out of curiosity? People have preferences, sometimes those preferences are based on physical characteristics, for example I do not come across as attractive to Asian women, does that mean they are all anti white racists? I doubt it. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"If someone has the time & inclination to state definitively on their profile that they aren't attracted to or looking for Black/Asian men then I consider it their loss & move on. Honestly saves me the trouble of wasting my time & theirs if I was previously interested in their profile & thinking about introducing myself. Usually block them as well just in case I stumble on an update weeks later & realise it's the same profile. Nothing malicious about it; course when you spot it on a profile it can put you on your heels a little to see especially when you are genuinely interested in someone rather than just browsing but then there's plenty of other people out there so why get so stressed about one. Happy fabbing people!! xx" One of the only sane answers, just learn to BAMO. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
" It's one thing being friends or employing someone in your company business, but intimate relationships is totally different." Absolutely! The same applies to age, gender, orientation etc. Perhaps if there was a racial preference filter, to prevent people being contacted by any they weren't interested in, they're would be no need to post such things on profiles. After all, a LOT of people have age filters set to prevent people outside their preferred range contracting them, so we don't see, "no over 50's/under 25's" on profiles, so presumably a filter would work. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I believe its a preference,that should be respected. This is a swingers site where you have the opportunity to meet people who share the same interests. A simple post asking a question or making a statement always seems to lead to a racial discussion. I as a British Indian find it hard to meet people on here, patience is a virtue there will always be someone whom I will connect with. Mentally and physically. I have always and will continue to respect people's preferences. " A refreshingly good attitude to have on here. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I believe its a preference,that should be respected. This is a swingers site where you have the opportunity to meet people who share the same interests. A simple post asking a question or making a statement always seems to lead to a racial discussion. I as a British Indian find it hard to meet people on here, patience is a virtue there will always be someone whom I will connect with. Mentally and physically. I have always and will continue to respect people's preferences. A refreshingly good attitude to have on here." Muchas gracias | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"if you limit the type of people you will meet you get less sex so its your loss, I will meet anyone but might have a problem with traffic wardens " It’s not a loss if we didn’t want them in the first place. Loss means to lose something of value. If I’m not interested in someone from the get go, how can it be a loss? | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"for those who feel discriminated against, just wait until you reach a milestone age 50/60 as a single white guy. Its like you become invisible or your cock has dropped off. it took me ages to build a new group of contacts at 50 and its proving just as challenging again at 60. but it peoples preference and choice and sometime they just dont realise what they are missing." You haven’t always been that age. It has changed with time. I have always been brown. Age changes, race does not. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"So in your mind, I am a racist because I list in our profile that we do not play with black or Asian people... So in your mind, is it racist to say, we do not play with white people? The answer would be no. I come from a country that has majority black people, I was never attracted to black people from a young age and that hasn't changed since growing up and moving countries. It is purely just a sexual preference. Not being a racist. I have lots of friends from all races but I still have my preference. The reason I added it to our profile was because we were getting hundreds of messages and when we say, sorry but we don't play with Black/Asian guys we got berated and hurled abuse at, a lot of guys asked why and we just politely replied that it's just a sexual preference, nothing more. Some replied and have said thank you to at least replying politely which is what we always do. So you see for us, it helps not waste anyone's time or ours. I think by adding this post you are starting a racist post which is not appropriate. We are all very sensitive to what is happening at the moment and by adding this you are fueling the fire. We should be coming together as a human race, not dividing us. Don't accuse people for adding a preference as being racist. " Regarding your point about playing with white people this would indeed be racist if you did not play with white people based solely on the fact they are white. Onto point 2 about racial preferences, does race play a factor in attraction? Sometimes, however the fetishising of a race is clearly a step backwards and you are entitled to your racial preference, however using the clear words “no blacks and “no asians” has a historical context that you should be aware of if you were raised in a majority black country. Point 3, has your stating clearly of no blacks and no asians on your profile... I sympathise if you have received abuse from anyone regarding a reply, however by stating it have you automatically stopped recieving messages from black or asian people? By adding this post I am not calling anyone racist for stating a preference, I am bringing light to the fact that your words matter. Please chose them carefully. Also how is me stating how I feel a racist post? You say adding fuel to the fire? Well maybe its time this discussion was had properly, most people seem to think racism goes away, unfortunatley you can not kill an idea. The fact that you state above “don’t accuse me of being racist “ is an issue in itself as those words tell me you are more concerned about being accused of being racist, instead of actually being racist. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"It's a swingers site at the end of the day any everyone has a type or particular fantasy they would like to act out . In my experience black guys do rather well on a place like this more so that white guys even . " once you go black,will never go back | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I see your point, but disagree I have just read a few profiles and here are some quotes 'no single men' 'bbc only no white guys' 'no fuck buddy couples, married only' 'no beards' 'no one with pubic hair' 'no couples' 'no one over 40' 'no one under 30' and even one that said 'no traffic wardens' whilst as I say I see your point, and respect where you are coming from is saying what you don't want and who you don't want to meet racist, sexist, ageist or just as people say ' expressing a preference' ? or is it just making people aware of what you like / dislike ? Great post. " | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"It's a swingers site at the end of the day any everyone has a type or particular fantasy they would like to act out . In my experience black guys do rather well on a place like this more so that white guys even . once you go black,will never go back" Most of the times they do tho lol | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"Reverse that.As a white guy who loves coloured girls, I've been accused of racism for asking for a black girl. A lot of people seem very mixed up about skin colour. I think the loudest shouters, are the real racists. " Please don’t say we are coloured! It always reminds me of that photo from an election in the 60s. “If you desire a coloured for a neighbour vote Labour. If you are already burdened with one vote Tory.” Saying “black” does just fine! | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"Reverse that.As a white guy who loves coloured girls, I've been accused of racism for asking for a black girl. A lot of people seem very mixed up about skin colour. I think the loudest shouters, are the real racists. Please don’t say we are coloured! It always reminds me of that photo from an election in the 60s. “If you desire a coloured for a neighbour vote Labour. If you are already burdened with one vote Tory.” Saying “black” does just fine! " And this was my exact point... words matter! Saying no blacks and no asians throws us back to the 1960s mindset, saying I prefer XYZ, doe not offend in the slightest as it is a preference! | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I think you're one of a few that get the intent of my original post. I wish others would read what I've actually said and what tyhis debate is about Thank you " . Are you allowed to point out who? At times I feel as though I have been rambling on! | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"So in your mind, I am a racist because I list in our profile that we do not play with black or Asian people... So in your mind, is it racist to say, we do not play with white people? The answer would be no. I come from a country that has majority black people, I was never attracted to black people from a young age and that hasn't changed since growing up and moving countries. It is purely just a sexual preference. Not being a racist. I have lots of friends from all races but I still have my preference. The reason I added it to our profile was because we were getting hundreds of messages and when we say, sorry but we don't play with Black/Asian guys we got berated and hurled abuse at, a lot of guys asked why and we just politely replied that it's just a sexual preference, nothing more. Some replied and have said thank you to at least replying politely which is what we always do. So you see for us, it helps not waste anyone's time or ours. I think by adding this post you are starting a racist post which is not appropriate. We are all very sensitive to what is happening at the moment and by adding this you are fueling the fire. We should be coming together as a human race, not dividing us. Don't accuse people for adding a preference as being racist. " Perfectly put | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"Singlenotts, I was referring to you. You're on the same wavelength and appreciate the point I'm making. It would be good to get the site admin to take this seriously and maybe do something about it. Hope they're reading." I was thinking the same, Singlenotts makes some good points. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"Ive just had a message saying BLACKS ARE LEECHES ON SOCIETY SO THEIR LIVES DNT MATTER. THIS IS WHY I DNT MEET WHITE GUYS and why i specify i only meet black." . Sorry to hear you have received such a vile message. I am guessing you have reported and blocked this vile person. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I just read on a black woman’s profile.... White men only.... Is this black woman a racist? Or does she have a preference for white men?" . In my eyes she is not racists she is stating her preference | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"Ive just had a message saying BLACKS ARE LEECHES ON SOCIETY SO THEIR LIVES DNT MATTER. THIS IS WHY I DNT MEET WHITE GUYS and why i specify i only meet black.. Sorry to hear you have received such a vile message. I am guessing you have reported and blocked this vile person." Yes then i get another telling me im racist. I was married to a white man for 30 yrs. Who was not kind. I met a lovely guy who was black so my preference is black. Not racist. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"Ive just had a message saying BLACKS ARE LEECHES ON SOCIETY SO THEIR LIVES DNT MATTER. THIS IS WHY I DNT MEET WHITE GUYS and why i specify i only meet black.. Sorry to hear you have received such a vile message. I am guessing you have reported and blocked this vile person. Yes then i get another telling me im racist. I was married to a white man for 30 yrs. Who was not kind. I met a lovely guy who was black so my preference is black. Not racist. " . Sorry to hear you were in a unhappy marriage with a white man for 30 years I am sure you are a sensible lady and realise not all white guys are the same.If been with a black guy now makes you happy then that’s good.I don’t consider you or anyone else for stating on their profile what their preference are and no one should be sending vile racist messages.Fabs is what you want it to be and how you choose to use it , chat , meet is no ones business except yours. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I was married to a white woman it ended in a nasty divorce I don't write off the whole race or gender" No one said you do. Its my choice. You have a choice exactly the same | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"Ive just had a message saying BLACKS ARE LEECHES ON SOCIETY SO THEIR LIVES DNT MATTER. THIS IS WHY I DNT MEET WHITE GUYS and why i specify i only meet black.. Sorry to hear you have received such a vile message. I am guessing you have reported and blocked this vile person. Yes then i get another telling me im racist. I was married to a white man for 30 yrs. Who was not kind. I met a lovely guy who was black so my preference is black. Not racist. . Sorry to hear you were in a unhappy marriage with a white man for 30 years I am sure you are a sensible lady and realise not all white guys are the same.If been with a black guy now makes you happy then that’s good.I don’t consider you or anyone else for stating on their profile what their preference are and no one should be sending vile racist messages.Fabs is what you want it to be and how you choose to use it , chat , meet is no ones business except yours." Thank you for your words | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"Ive just had a message saying BLACKS ARE LEECHES ON SOCIETY SO THEIR LIVES DNT MATTER. THIS IS WHY I DNT MEET WHITE GUYS and why i specify i only meet black.. Sorry to hear you have received such a vile message. I am guessing you have reported and blocked this vile person. Yes then i get another telling me im racist. I was married to a white man for 30 yrs. Who was not kind. I met a lovely guy who was black so my preference is black. Not racist. . Sorry to hear you were in a unhappy marriage with a white man for 30 years I am sure you are a sensible lady and realise not all white guys are the same.If been with a black guy now makes you happy then that’s good.I don’t consider you or anyone else for stating on their profile what their preference are and no one should be sending vile racist messages.Fabs is what you want it to be and how you choose to use it , chat , meet is no ones business except yours. Thank you for your words" . No problem I have sent you a message no pressure to respond.Stay strong and stay safe | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I just read on a black woman’s profile.... White men only.... Is this black woman a racist? Or does she have a preference for white men?" I state I’m seeking white males on my profile too. According to some I just be racist to my own race, every single one of them... | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"Nothing wrong in having preferences but it doesn't have to be IN CAPITAL Letters on a profile. I have likes/dislikes obviously but tend to take people at face value. For example, I like a big bearded tattoo covered man but I talk to loads who don't meet that criteria, some I would happily meet. Guess I'm trying to say have your preferences but don't shut out whole groups of people so publicly, especially with the knowledge that particular choice of wording may be offensive to many people. If someone you're not attracted to contacts you, simply ignore or say no thanks. " Or... people could write what they like on their profiles within the rules. Anything can offend someone, there’s no point treading on eggshells for those you’re not interested in. Of course putting who you’d like to meet rather than who you wouldn’t is all well and good, but nobody is obliged to do so. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"Nothing wrong in having preferences but it doesn't have to be IN CAPITAL Letters on a profile. I have likes/dislikes obviously but tend to take people at face value. For example, I like a big bearded tattoo covered man but I talk to loads who don't meet that criteria, some I would happily meet. Guess I'm trying to say have your preferences but don't shut out whole groups of people so publicly, especially with the knowledge that particular choice of wording may be offensive to many people. If someone you're not attracted to contacts you, simply ignore or say no thanks. " Exactly this! | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"..... Is it acceptable to state that in your profile or should this be considered racist and against this site's acceptable use policy? Would we get away with stating no handicapped people? We all have preferences and there's no problem with that but we suspect some state this deliberately to make a statement. It's not needed and insensitive in our opinion. " At least they're honest and it saves someone putting time and effort into messaging them | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"..... Is it acceptable to state that in your profile or should this be considered racist and against this site's acceptable use policy? Would we get away with stating no handicapped people? We all have preferences and there's no problem with that but we suspect some state this deliberately to make a statement. It's not needed and insensitive in our opinion. At least they're honest and it saves someone putting time and effort into messaging them" Some may be being honest but I suspect a lot are being racist which just reflects the nastiness we see in general society. There's no need for it and as quite a few have stated, if you don't want to meet anyone from a certain ethnic background and you get approached a simple "sorry but you're not our type" would suffice. People get knock backs all the time, we do, but that's preferable to seeing what looks like an obvious racist trope on a profile. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I've lost count of the number of profiles I've seen saying they're only look for black/BBC. I agree this is racist. " So I’m racist for wanting to meet white men on here? Right... | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I've lost count of the number of profiles I've seen saying they're only look for black/BBC. I agree this is racist. So I’m racist for wanting to meet white men on here? Right... " I wouldn’t bite! I don’t think he understands the difference between prejudice and preference | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I've lost count of the number of profiles I've seen saying they're only look for black/BBC. I agree this is racist. " This is not what the OP asked. I see nothing wrong with someone saying they are only looking for black/ asian guys..As I said earlier,it is when people highlight NO BLACK/ASIAN that makes me feel uncomfortable, whether it is racist I don't know but I think its offensive. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"No Blacks or No Asians ,used to be a sign post outside public buildings during colonial era , which becomes very sensitive to both races , especially if it comes from a Caucasian profile . We do understand the preference issue but could rephrase it . Rather than saying No Asians ,you can mention your preference like " Caucasian preferred" It would be more positive . In our case , hubby is exclusively ignored many times . We get replies as " We don't mind playing with you but not with your husband " Or " I like you but my wife won't play with your husband " I think somewhere people shud start being sensitive towards others too when they write such things. Rest " we don't care what people write as it exposes them and not us" " Well said. Not far from the signs NO BLACKS, NO DOGS AND NO IRISH. Its the uneducated ones that seem to over look this . Also a preference for beards, gingers or a body type is a preference. As soon as race is mentioned, it is RACIST. Not to be confused by type or preference. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I've lost count of the number of profiles I've seen saying they're only look for black/BBC. I agree this is racist. So I’m racist for wanting to meet white men on here? Right... I wouldn’t bite! I don’t think he understands the difference between prejudice and preference" I genuinely find it funny. It often f*cks up their argument when I ask “Am I racist to my own race then?” they seem to go quiet... | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"If one judges a whole race of people on the colour of their skin that is racsim. Because one has a bad experience with one person of a race does not mean all people will be the same. That is where stereo types come from and contributes to racsim. Thank you. Very wise words. This is what I believe the OP is trying to get across. Ruling out a whole race is RACIST. It isn't a preference anymore. To disregard a whole group of people due to thier race is racism. It isn't difficult " | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I've lost count of the number of profiles I've seen saying they're only look for black/BBC. I agree this is racist. So I’m racist for wanting to meet white men on here? Right... I wouldn’t bite! I don’t think he understands the difference between prejudice and preference I genuinely find it funny. It often f*cks up their argument when I ask “Am I racist to my own race then?” they seem to go quiet... " If that is the case I assume that it follows that any caucasian women who want black guys only are also racist - to their own race; interesting concept. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I've lost count of the number of profiles I've seen saying they're only look for black/BBC. I agree this is racist. So I’m racist for wanting to meet white men on here? Right... I wouldn’t bite! I don’t think he understands the difference between prejudice and preference I genuinely find it funny. It often f*cks up their argument when I ask “Am I racist to my own race then?” they seem to go quiet... If that is the case I assume that it follows that any caucasian women who want black guys only are also racist - to their own race; interesting concept." You cant be racist to your own race. Racism is prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against someone of a different race based on the belief that one's own race is superior. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"Why doesn't anyone ever question their preferences. We just except them as if we're born with them. Preferences are born out of lived and/or imagined experience. They also change over time. So when someone says they don't or do have a preference for a particular race without extreme examination of WHY ... they'll probably find its rooted in some form of racial bias. And yes it can be racist...the real problem is no one wants to admit that we're all a little bit or a lot racist." Very true what you say. But to rule out a whole race due to a bad experience or simply state your not attracted to someone of a certain race is RACIST.Often confused with preference. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I've lost count of the number of profiles I've seen saying they're only look for black/BBC. I agree this is racist. So I’m racist for wanting to meet white men on here? Right... I wouldn’t bite! I don’t think he understands the difference between prejudice and preference I genuinely find it funny. It often f*cks up their argument when I ask “Am I racist to my own race then?” they seem to go quiet... If that is the case I assume that it follows that any caucasian women who want black guys only are also racist - to their own race; interesting concept. You cant be racist to your own race. Racism is prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against someone of a different race based on the belief that one's own race is superior." Exactly. Which debunks the whole “Your preference is racist” argument. Someone can’t say it’s not racist for example for me to prefer to meet white men as a black woman, and then in the next breath shout racist to a white woman who prefers to meet white men. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"Why doesn't anyone ever question their preferences. We just except them as if we're born with them. Preferences are born out of lived and/or imagined experience. They also change over time. So when someone says they don't or do have a preference for a particular race without extreme examination of WHY ... they'll probably find its rooted in some form of racial bias. And yes it can be racist...the real problem is no one wants to admit that we're all a little bit or a lot racist. Very true what you say. But to rule out a whole race due to a bad experience or simply state your not attracted to someone of a certain race is RACIST.Often confused with preference. " It’s not. Some people will use the preference line who are racist for sure, but to label every single person who has a preference as racist is rubbish. Am I homophobic because I won’t meet lesbian women? Am I ageist because I won’t meet men under 35? No. Sexual preference is intimate, very intimate it cannot be compared to anything else. If someone has a sexual preference where they aren’t attracted to a certain race, but in all other walks of life they treat individuals of that race no different, they’re not racist. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"Why doesn't anyone ever question their preferences. We just except them as if we're born with them. Preferences are born out of lived and/or imagined experience. They also change over time. So when someone says they don't or do have a preference for a particular race without extreme examination of WHY ... they'll probably find its rooted in some form of racial bias. And yes it can be racist...the real problem is no one wants to admit that we're all a little bit or a lot racist. Very true what you say. But to rule out a whole race due to a bad experience or simply state your not attracted to someone of a certain race is RACIST.Often confused with preference. It’s not. Some people will use the preference line who are racist for sure, but to label every single person who has a preference as racist is rubbish. Am I homophobic because I won’t meet lesbian women? Am I ageist because I won’t meet men under 35? No. Sexual preference is intimate, very intimate it cannot be compared to anything else. If someone has a sexual preference where they aren’t attracted to a certain race, but in all other walks of life they treat individuals of that race no different, they’re not racist." Well if you're talking about attraction to gender that's orientation. Otherwise it's preferences. So if the shoe fits it is what it is be it ableist, ageist etc. I'm not disputing that preferences aren't deeply personal and intimate. I'm not even advocating that they be changed I'm saying examine why you have them. Really dig into your yourself and find the root of it. An obligation I had made of myself. And lets just say I know damn well after being on this sight for years and roughly 80% of guys who contact me have a preference for a big black dick who will invite all his other friends with big black dicks to near voilently use and abuse them...these are mythologies born out of racist images and fears of hyper sexualised black men passed down and internalised by all for centuries. And that's only an example of one preference... | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I've lost count of the number of profiles I've seen saying they're only look for black/BBC. I agree this is racist. So I’m racist for wanting to meet white men on here? Right... I wouldn’t bite! I don’t think he understands the difference between prejudice and preference I genuinely find it funny. It often f*cks up their argument when I ask “Am I racist to my own race then?” they seem to go quiet... If that is the case I assume that it follows that any caucasian women who want black guys only are also racist - to their own race; interesting concept. You cant be racist to your own race. Racism is prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against someone of a different race based on the belief that one's own race is superior. Exactly. Which debunks the whole “Your preference is racist” argument. Someone can’t say it’s not racist for example for me to prefer to meet white men as a black woman, and then in the next breath shout racist to a white woman who prefers to meet white men. " Again, it has been confused with preference. What is being implied is that to rule out an entire race be it Black, White, Asian, Mixed Race is Racist. Why should the race or colour of someone be the decided factor of why you would want to have sex with them? Its a deep rooted racial bias. Again, confused with preference. A black women who wants white men or vice versa as you suggest may not be seen as racist. But it is in essence an attraction of 2 people of different racial backgrounds. When a white women prefers to meet only white men, or black women only black men etc. Then there must be an underlying racial bias deep rooted in that individual to make that choice. I dont decide that I will only meet black women and exclude other races. If its a preference, it would be down to body type, facial attraction, manners, sense of humour etc. These are preferences. If I say No whites or Asians and I only meet black women, then I am excluding entire races and its not a preference down to features. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
" Again, it has been confused with preference. What is being implied is that to rule out an entire race be it Black, White, Asian, Mixed Race is Racist. Why should the race or colour of someone be the decided factor of why you would want to have sex with them? Its a deep rooted racial bias. Again, confused with preference. A black women who wants white men or vice versa as you suggest may not be seen as racist. But it is in essence an attraction of 2 people of different racial backgrounds. When a white women prefers to meet only white men, or black women only black men etc. Then there must be an underlying racial bias deep rooted in that individual to make that choice. I dont decide that I will only meet black women and exclude other races. If its a preference, it would be down to body type, facial attraction, manners, sense of humour etc. These are preferences. If I say No whites or Asians and I only meet black women, then I am excluding entire races and its not a preference down to features. " I don’t agree. I don’t think anyone can make an assumption on a wide range of people and their preferences like that. If it isn’t racist for X race to have a preference for another race than her own, then it cannot simply be racist for X race to have a preference for their own race. Unless you know that person and their reasons for said preference you can’t label them racist just off the bat like that, sure some racists use the preference line, but not everyone with a preference for a certain race is racist. As I said, if said person treats every other race in every other situation no different, they can’t possibly be labelled racist. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"Why should the race or colour of someone be the decided factor of why you would want to have sex with them?" Because it’s my body & I’m free to make the choice? As is anyone else. Let’s flip it, I see you have an age filter on your profile. Why should the age of someone be the deciding factor of why you would want to have sex with them? | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"No Blacks or No Asians ,used to be a sign post outside public buildings during colonial era , which becomes very sensitive to both races , especially if it comes from a Caucasian profile . We do understand the preference issue but could rephrase it . Rather than saying No Asians ,you can mention your preference like " Caucasian preferred" It would be more positive . In our case , hubby is exclusively ignored many times . We get replies as " We don't mind playing with you but not with your husband " Or " I like you but my wife won't play with your husband " I think somewhere people shud start being sensitive towards others too when they write such things. Rest " we don't care what people write as it exposes them and not us" " This is an enlightened and well thought out solution. You are one of a very few couples that have spun the negative into a positive. It is something myself and lady V need to aspire to, So thank you. Unfortunately the majority of people are very much preconditioned by society and parenting. "I don't like" or "I don't want" is the standard. Break the mould be the better person. Take the negative and spin to positive! | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I see your point, but disagree I have just read a few profiles and here are some quotes 'no single men' 'bbc only no white guys' 'no fuck buddy couples, married only' 'no beards' 'no one with pubic hair' 'no couples' 'no one over 40' 'no one under 30' and even one that said 'no traffic wardens' whilst as I say I see your point, and respect where you are coming from is saying what you don't want and who you don't want to meet racist, sexist, ageist or just as people say ' expressing a preference' ? or is it just making people aware of what you like / dislike ? " totally agree with post, it’s your preference . Very much different to being rude, aggressive or down right nasty to someone during to their colour, age, sex etc | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"..... Is it acceptable to state that in your profile or should this be considered racist and against this site's acceptable use policy? Would we get away with stating no handicapped people? We all have preferences and there's no problem with that but we suspect some state this deliberately to make a statement. It's not needed and insensitive in our opinion. " The same could be said for no white asians. The use of the terms BBC or BWC only are maybe something the site should look at, if is has the ability to cause offence To others. Everyone is looking for something however maybe some things should be left to private messages. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"..... Is it acceptable to state that in your profile or should this be considered racist and against this site's acceptable use policy? Would we get away with stating no handicapped people? We all have preferences and there's no problem with that but we suspect some state this deliberately to make a statement. It's not needed and insensitive in our opinion. The same could be said for no white asians. The use of the terms BBC or BWC only are maybe something the site should look at, if is has the ability to cause offence To others. Everyone is looking for something however maybe some things should be left to private messages. " And what about if people say they’re offended by age filters, do we get rid of those too? Someone will always be offended by something regardless. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I see your point, but disagree I have just read a few profiles and here are some quotes 'no single men' 'bbc only no white guys' 'no fuck buddy couples, married only' 'no beards' 'no one with pubic hair' 'no couples' 'no one over 40' 'no one under 30' and even one that said 'no traffic wardens' whilst as I say I see your point, and respect where you are coming from is saying what you don't want and who you don't want to meet racist, sexist, ageist or just as people say ' expressing a preference' ? or is it just making people aware of what you like / dislike ? " There are a lot of wrongs in the world right now but listing who you will or wont shag for whatever personal reason is not one of them (as long as it's not done in a specifically offensive way). | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"Filters can be misleading as an engineer I usually say suck it and see when trying new projects so why not stop all filters and see what happens it could be fun" No thanks. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"I have no problem with people having a preference. However, as other have said, it's how that is expressed that is the issues. It's the difference between a positive profile and a negative one. I'm am primarily looking to meet ***, or I prefer ***, rather than NO ***. " this with bells on | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"As a black guy,im into white female only.....does that mean im racists?" We are the other way around at the moment and are going through a "black phase" are we racist against whites? | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"We've mailed the site owners and made our objection clear regarding the "No BLACKS/ASIANS" wording on profiles and asked them to update their Acceptable Use Policy (AUP) to ban this type of overtly racist phrasing. If people have a preference and quite clearly people do, there are other ways of doing so without causing offence. We'd urge others that feel strongly about this issue to do the same." What about NO WHITES is that racist please | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"We've mailed the site owners and made our objection clear regarding the "No BLACKS/ASIANS" wording on profiles and asked them to update their Acceptable Use Policy (AUP) to ban this type of overtly racist phrasing. If people have a preference and quite clearly people do, there are other ways of doing so without causing offence. We'd urge others that feel strongly about this issue to do the same." Did you ask them to also ban 'no single men' - sexist? 'No females' on single fem profiles - homophobic? Any profile with age filters - ageist? Nobody from over 200 miles away - geographist?? | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"No Blacks or No Asians ,used to be a sign post outside public buildings during colonial era , which becomes very sensitive to both races , especially if it comes from a Caucasian profile . We do understand the preference issue but could rephrase it . Rather than saying No Asians ,you can mention your preference like " Caucasian preferred" It would be more positive . In our case , hubby is exclusively ignored many times . We get replies as " We don't mind playing with you but not with your husband " Or " I like you but my wife won't play with your husband " I think somewhere people shud start being sensitive towards others too when they write such things. Rest " we don't care what people write as it exposes them and not us" " Well said. Have had the above comments on numerous occasions and have always said to my better half that it's their loss and moved on.. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
Reply privately |
Reply privately |
"I think it depends on how it is said... If someone says; I have a preference for white guys/women then I dont think anyone can be upset by that..but if someone is using capital letters like; NO ASIANS then it certainly makes me feel uncomfortable." I get what you are saying but perhaps some people have had experiences of people being somewhat persistent or they have tried to make the point more subtly and been ignored. As a couple we like single guys but my wife doesn’t like Asian men, it’s her preference yet despite us placing that in our profile, we get lots of messages from Asian men. We even had one trying to pass himself off as Italian ! | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"No Blacks or No Asians ,used to be a sign post outside public buildings during colonial era , which becomes very sensitive to both races , especially if it comes from a Caucasian profile . We do understand the preference issue but could rephrase it . Rather than saying No Asians ,you can mention your preference like " Caucasian preferred" It would be more positive . In our case , hubby is exclusively ignored many times . We get replies as " We don't mind playing with you but not with your husband " Or " I like you but my wife won't play with your husband " I think somewhere people shud start being sensitive towards others too when they write such things. Rest " we don't care what people write as it exposes them and not us" " Maybe it’s just because they don’t fancy your hubby? I think it’s quite common amongst all races for the female to be preferred and the male to be a bit of a “letdown”. We have deffo seen couples of all races where we have thought the female is attractive and the guy not. We’ve also had that same situation back to us as well. I think often it’s just the fact that blokes will shag anything whereas ladies may be more choosy. I bet there are very few cases where an Asian woman is rejected on the grounds of her race. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"No Blacks or No Asians ,used to be a sign post outside public buildings during colonial era , which becomes very sensitive to both races , especially if it comes from a Caucasian profile . We do understand the preference issue but could rephrase it . Rather than saying No Asians ,you can mention your preference like " Caucasian preferred" It would be more positive . In our case , hubby is exclusively ignored many times . We get replies as " We don't mind playing with you but not with your husband " Or " I like you but my wife won't play with your husband " I think somewhere people shud start being sensitive towards others too when they write such things. Rest " we don't care what people write as it exposes them and not us" Maybe it’s just because they don’t fancy your hubby? I think it’s quite common amongst all races for the female to be preferred and the male to be a bit of a “letdown”. We have deffo seen couples of all races where we have thought the female is attractive and the guy not. We’ve also had that same situation back to us as well. I think often it’s just the fact that blokes will shag anything whereas ladies may be more choosy. I bet there are very few cases where an Asian woman is rejected on the grounds of her race. " NA I don’t think the blokes will shag anything comment stands true. Because I certainly will not, there has to be an attraction for me or it’s not never going to work. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"No Blacks or No Asians ,used to be a sign post outside public buildings during colonial era , which becomes very sensitive to both races , especially if it comes from a Caucasian profile . We do understand the preference issue but could rephrase it . Rather than saying No Asians ,you can mention your preference like " Caucasian preferred" It would be more positive . In our case , hubby is exclusively ignored many times . We get replies as " We don't mind playing with you but not with your husband " Or " I like you but my wife won't play with your husband " I think somewhere people shud start being sensitive towards others too when they write such things. Rest " we don't care what people write as it exposes them and not us" Maybe it’s just because they don’t fancy your hubby? I think it’s quite common amongst all races for the female to be preferred and the male to be a bit of a “letdown”. We have deffo seen couples of all races where we have thought the female is attractive and the guy not. We’ve also had that same situation back to us as well. I think often it’s just the fact that blokes will shag anything whereas ladies may be more choosy. I bet there are very few cases where an Asian woman is rejected on the grounds of her race. " See, "fancy" and 'preference" are two words conveniently used on Fab. We don't buy that bs but as I say we don't care . My hubby looks million times better than some blue eyes blondes here and is fit for his age . But we don't take it personally anymore . We just move on and wait for the right ppl. We won't like cpls who would take one for the team. By the way, people have told us without looking at our face pics that they don't want to play with my hubby. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"Simple fix, just write what you like, not what you don't like. Far more positive, likely to be more productive as a profile. And if people are still offended they are the type of people your not going to have fun with anyhow. Refraining from words like 'only' as tbh you could be limiting yourself on having an awesome experience. " Precisely my point . Just be positive. Some people have too many Nos and Ifs on their profile. We won't meet such fussy ppl for sure. No Asians/ Blacks have been so much stereotyped that ,profiles are mentioning as if it's so normal. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"No Blacks or No Asians ,used to be a sign post outside public buildings during colonial era , which becomes very sensitive to both races , especially if it comes from a Caucasian profile . We do understand the preference issue but could rephrase it . Rather than saying No Asians ,you can mention your preference like " Caucasian preferred" It would be more positive . In our case , hubby is exclusively ignored many times . We get replies as " We don't mind playing with you but not with your husband " Or " I like you but my wife won't play with your husband " I think somewhere people shud start being sensitive towards others too when they write such things. Rest " we don't care what people write as it exposes them and not us" Maybe it’s just because they don’t fancy your hubby? I think it’s quite common amongst all races for the female to be preferred and the male to be a bit of a “letdown”. We have deffo seen couples of all races where we have thought the female is attractive and the guy not. We’ve also had that same situation back to us as well. I think often it’s just the fact that blokes will shag anything whereas ladies may be more choosy. I bet there are very few cases where an Asian woman is rejected on the grounds of her race. See, "fancy" and 'preference" are two words conveniently used on Fab. We don't buy that bs but as I say we don't care . My hubby looks million times better than some blue eyes blondes here and is fit for his age . But we don't take it personally anymore . We just move on and wait for the right ppl. We won't like cpls who would take one for the team. By the way, people have told us without looking at our face pics that they don't want to play with my hubby. " . I have read and participate in threads where single Asian guys have felt they are not wanted but reading your post that couples are not interested in playing with your husband without even looking at his pictures is just crazy to me. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"No Blacks or No Asians ,used to be a sign post outside public buildings during colonial era , which becomes very sensitive to both races , especially if it comes from a Caucasian profile . We do understand the preference issue but could rephrase it . Rather than saying No Asians ,you can mention your preference like " Caucasian preferred" It would be more positive . In our case , hubby is exclusively ignored many times . We get replies as " We don't mind playing with you but not with your husband " Or " I like you but my wife won't play with your husband " I think somewhere people shud start being sensitive towards others too when they write such things. Rest " we don't care what people write as it exposes them and not us" Maybe it’s just because they don’t fancy your hubby? I think it’s quite common amongst all races for the female to be preferred and the male to be a bit of a “letdown”. We have deffo seen couples of all races where we have thought the female is attractive and the guy not. We’ve also had that same situation back to us as well. I think often it’s just the fact that blokes will shag anything whereas ladies may be more choosy. I bet there are very few cases where an Asian woman is rejected on the grounds of her race. See, "fancy" and 'preference" are two words conveniently used on Fab. We don't buy that bs but as I say we don't care . My hubby looks million times better than some blue eyes blondes here and is fit for his age . But we don't take it personally anymore . We just move on and wait for the right ppl. We won't like cpls who would take one for the team. By the way, people have told us without looking at our face pics that they don't want to play with my hubby. " Because they are racist. I'm sorry you experience that. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
" My hubby looks million times better than some blue eyes blondes here and is fit for his age. But we don't take it personally anymore. " Is that not a preference? You think he is a "million times better" not everyone will. I wouldn't be allowed even near the bar some swingers drink at......I'm fat....... the last of the allow discrimination's, but my wife loves me and we understand people are allowed to make choices so long as they do not call names and say derogatory things, it's a choice or a preference. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"If someone has the time & inclination to state definitively on their profile that they aren't attracted to or looking for Black/Asian men then I consider it their loss & move on. Honestly saves me the trouble of wasting my time & theirs if I was previously interested in their profile & thinking about introducing myself. Usually block them as well just in case I stumble on an update weeks later & realise it's the same profile. Nothing malicious about it; course when you spot it on a profile it can put you on your heels a little to see especially when you are genuinely interested in someone rather than just browsing but then there's plenty of other people out there so why get so stressed about one. Happy fabbing people!! xx" | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"No Blacks or No Asians ,used to be a sign post outside public buildings during colonial era , which becomes very sensitive to both races , especially if it comes from a Caucasian profile . We do understand the preference issue but could rephrase it . Rather than saying No Asians ,you can mention your preference like " Caucasian preferred" It would be more positive . In our case , hubby is exclusively ignored many times . We get replies as " We don't mind playing with you but not with your husband " Or " I like you but my wife won't play with your husband " I think somewhere people shud start being sensitive towards others too when they write such things. Rest " we don't care what people write as it exposes them and not us" " Unfortunately, the minute you use the word 'preferred' this will be taken as a green light to try to get you to change your mind and having to justify your reasons. This is why my profile is in its current form with yes and no answers. I get a lot less messages this way, coupled with heavy filters. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
" People have the right to choose , why is this so hard to understand " | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"It's my moral responsibility (and legal obligation) to treat all people with respect. It's not my moral responsibility to have sex with them, so it's OK to have preferences. By the same token, I personally think it can be read as really disrespectful to state those negative preferences. I agree, OP, that some profiles are tinged with prejudice. Perhaps it could be advice in site FAQs that this should be avoided. " Thank you Sapiophile, glad to see you appreciate the point we're making. It's time to ditch what could easily be perceived as hate and unfortunately often disguised or couched in terms of preference. By all means, express your positive preferences but if your negative one's are discriminatory then keep them to yourselves. The world doesn't need to know and you no-one is forcing you to meet/shag someone you don't fancy. The same often goes for freedom of speech where that excuse is often used as a license for extolling racist ideals. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"It is not so many years ago there were signs in shops saying 'no blacks, no Asians, no dogs'. I think, even here, it is fair to say most people find that inherently racist. Why can the link not be seen. To automatically exclude a whole race of people with no exploration of an individuals unique characteristics is prejudiced if people prefer that word. " I agree with some of your points. We all have an implicit bias. What some people don't realise is that the standard of beauty that we've all been taught is that European features and lighter skin are the pinacle of beauty. So you'll tend to find most people will have a preference for white or lighter partners. This is reflected in many studies of the impact of race in dating sites. However, it doesn't necessarily mean a person has a racist outlook. It could be an attraction to certain features. I do agree though you will undoubtedly find many racists who will hide behind it's just a preference excuse. But such is life in a free society. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"When my parents married and were looking to rent a room there were signs in the shop windows or boarding houses containing the words No Blacks , No Asians , No Foreigners , No Irish , No Dogs , No Pregnant Women that was in the late 60’s and that was deemed as acceptable.Now just over 50 years later would these words be acceptable probably not." That's exactly what I meant. Why not rephrase it which may sound positive . It would sound less racist if they mention Caucasians only Or bbc only Asians only But I think some people get touchy about it and try to digress the whole issue to preferences and choices rather than term itself. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"To say it’s racist is ridiculous. Many white women are only attracted to black men, that doesn’t suddenly mean they hate their own race. I am attracted to men of all races but have a preference for white men which I state politely on my profile, that doesn’t mean I suddenly hate all my own black people or look at them as inferior. Sexual preferences are completely different, they cannot be compared to job positions for example. I wouldn’t sleep with a 5ft man, but I’d happily be friends with one for example. Not being attracted to something doesn’t mean you hate it, or think of it as inferior which would be racism. " Great post and amazing profile x | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"..... Is it acceptable to state that in your profile or should this be considered racist and against this site's acceptable use policy? Would we get away with stating no handicapped people? We all have preferences and there's no problem with that but we suspect some state this deliberately to make a statement. It's not needed and insensitive in our opinion. " Thank you for raising this issue as it makes me feel like this is not a place for me, everyone is unique but seeing profiles that state only looking for a particular ethnicity can be seen as every other being undesirable or just inferior, I am not inferior to nobody and based on users experiences, people should not be tarred with the same brush | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"Young Asian males are in most cases more handsome then causican men " Surely you mean "In some cases,some young Asian males are more handsome than some causican males" | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"When my parents married and were looking to rent a room there were signs in the shop windows or boarding houses containing the words No Blacks , No Asians , No Foreigners , No Irish , No Dogs , No Pregnant Women that was in the late 60’s and that was deemed as acceptable.Now just over 50 years later would these words be acceptable probably not." Not to forget, No Gypsies and No Queers...( Yes really) | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
"To say it’s racist is ridiculous. Many white women are only attracted to black men, that doesn’t suddenly mean they hate their own race. I am attracted to men of all races but have a preference for white men which I state politely on my profile, that doesn’t mean I suddenly hate all my own black people or look at them as inferior. Sexual preferences are completely different, they cannot be compared to job positions for example. I wouldn’t sleep with a 5ft man, but I’d happily be friends with one for example. Not being attracted to something doesn’t mean you hate it, or think of it as inferior which would be racism. Great post and amazing profile x" | |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
| |||
(closed, thread got too big) |
Reply privately |
back to top |