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No blacks/asians

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By *anenkam OP   Couple
over a year ago

manchester

..... Is it acceptable to state that in your profile or should this be considered racist and against this site's acceptable use policy? Would we get away with stating no handicapped people? We all have preferences and there's no problem with that but we suspect some state this deliberately to make a statement. It's not needed and insensitive in our opinion.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *andypair2018Couple
over a year ago

bedford

Interesting point , but people have preferences . Why want a bi woman but not a bi man ? Those who are not interested in TV’s . We all put age preferences some look 20 years older or younger than what they are . So do we change this site to do away with ageism , sexism. Let’s just go secret squirrel no ages or sexual preferences

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *he Ring WraithMan
over a year ago

Bradford

I see your point, but disagree I have just read a few profiles and here are some quotes

'no single men'

'bbc only no white guys'

'no fuck buddy couples, married only'

'no beards'

'no one with pubic hair'

'no couples'

'no one over 40'

'no one under 30'

and even one that said 'no traffic wardens'

whilst as I say I see your point, and respect where you are coming from is saying what you don't want and who you don't want to meet racist, sexist, ageist or just as people say ' expressing a preference' ?

or is it just making people aware of what you like / dislike ?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *anenkam OP   Couple
over a year ago

manchester

I don't see anything wrong with expressing a sexual preference. After all, this is a swinger's site and you'd want to avoid any misunderstandings when your stark bollock naked and a bit vulnerable in someone else's company. I don't think many people live with age discrimination or feel that has blighted their lives. People don't get arrested and asphyxiated for being old. They do for belonging to a particular race. Perhaps you can see the difference and why it's more insensitive to express that preference with the other negative connotations around that subject.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"..... Is it acceptable to state that in your profile or should this be considered racist and against this site's acceptable use policy? Would we get away with stating no handicapped people? We all have preferences and there's no problem with that but we suspect some state this deliberately to make a statement. It's not needed and insensitive in our opinion. "

I state i dnt meet white men only black. I am not a racist although called it many times. Its my preference why would i not put what i want and not want to waste peoples time if they arent what im looking for

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ublinGirl92Woman
over a year ago

Hell

I have a racial preference towards east asian men but I don't put it on my profile because I don't want other people to feel like I'll discount them because they aren't asian. Its actually just a preference, I wouldn't turn someone down for their race.

I think if you are excluding an entire race of people based on your perception of how that race looks then there may be more at play there than a simple preference.

I'd still like to know though so I can avoid people like that.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL


"I see your point, but disagree I have just read a few profiles and here are some quotes

'no single men'

'bbc only no white guys'

'no fuck buddy couples, married only'

'no beards'

'no one with pubic hair'

'no couples'

'no one over 40'

'no one under 30'

and even one that said 'no traffic wardens'

whilst as I say I see your point, and respect where you are coming from is saying what you don't want and who you don't want to meet racist, sexist, ageist or just as people say ' expressing a preference' ?

or is it just making people aware of what you like / dislike ?

"

Great post.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a swingers site at the end of the day any everyone has a type or particular fantasy they would like to act out . In my experience black guys do rather well on a place like this more so that white guys even .

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *he riverdeep69Couple
over a year ago

North west ish

It's a preference, nothing more, nothing less. Your body and your choice who to play with. Those who play the race card are detracting from the real issue of racisim and are to be avoided, not cos of their race but because of their attitude.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I see your point, but disagree I have just read a few profiles and here are some quotes

'no single men'

'bbc only no white guys'

'no fuck buddy couples, married only'

'no beards'

'no one with pubic hair'

'no couples'

'no one over 40'

'no one under 30'

and even one that said 'no traffic wardens'

whilst as I say I see your point, and respect where you are coming from is saying what you don't want and who you don't want to meet racist, sexist, ageist or just as people say ' expressing a preference' ?

or is it just making people aware of what you like / dislike ?

"

No traffic wardens

Funny

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *he riverdeep69Couple
over a year ago

North west ish


"I see your point, but disagree I have just read a few profiles and here are some quotes

'no single men'

'bbc only no white guys'

'no fuck buddy couples, married only'

'no beards'

'no one with pubic hair'

'no couples'

'no one over 40'

'no one under 30'

and even one that said 'no traffic wardens'

whilst as I say I see your point, and respect where you are coming from is saying what you don't want and who you don't want to meet racist, sexist, ageist or just as people say ' expressing a preference' ?

or is it just making people aware of what you like / dislike ?

No traffic wardens

Funny"

Traffic wardenists. Can't see there being mass (socially distant) rallies in support tbh

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have a racial preference towards east asian men but I don't put it on my profile because I don't want other people to feel like I'll discount them because they aren't asian. Its actually just a preference, I wouldn't turn someone down for their race.

I think if you are excluding an entire race of people based on your perception of how that race looks then there may be more at play there than a simple preference.

I'd still like to know though so I can avoid people like that. "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Blacks

Whites

Beardies

Gingers

even traffic wardens believe it or not all have rights, but having sex with you is not one them

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Blacks

Whites

Beardies

Gingers

even traffic wardens believe it or not all have rights, but having sex with you is not one them "

well said.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *he Ring WraithMan
over a year ago

Bradford


"I see your point, but disagree I have just read a few profiles and here are some quotes

'no single men'

'bbc only no white guys'

'no fuck buddy couples, married only'

'no beards'

'no one with pubic hair'

'no couples'

'no one over 40'

'no one under 30'

and even one that said 'no traffic wardens'

whilst as I say I see your point, and respect where you are coming from is saying what you don't want and who you don't want to meet racist, sexist, ageist or just as people say ' expressing a preference' ?

or is it just making people aware of what you like / dislike ?

No traffic wardens

Funny"

Funny indeed, but it is actually on a profile !

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *lorious hole bs16Man
over a year ago

Bristol

I think it depends on how it is said...

If someone says; I have a preference for white guys/women then I dont think anyone can be upset by that..but if someone is using capital letters like; NO ASIANS then it certainly makes me feel uncomfortable.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think it depends on how it is said...

If someone says; I have a preference for white guys/women then I dont think anyone can be upset by that..but if someone is using capital letters like; NO ASIANS then it certainly makes me feel uncomfortable."

Surely its a human right to put what we prefer. I try so hard not be shouty but if i dnt i get continous messages saying. Im tanned. Ive got a huge black man cock. Im better than a black man. SO WHAT. I dont go with black because of size . I like a brain and personality. Im not the one typecasting. Ive tried so now i make it clear. Does it work nope. But i wnt change it

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *adyinred696969Couple
over a year ago

Brecon


"I see your point, but disagree I have just read a few profiles and here are some quotes

'no single men'

'bbc only no white guys'

'no fuck buddy couples, married only'

'no beards'

'no one with pubic hair'

'no couples'

'no one over 40'

'no one under 30'

and even one that said 'no traffic wardens'

whilst as I say I see your point, and respect where you are coming from is saying what you don't want and who you don't want to meet racist, sexist, ageist or just as people say ' expressing a preference' ?

or is it just making people aware of what you like / dislike ?

No traffic wardens

Funny

Funny indeed, but it is actually on a profile !"

Saw one with "No Tories!".

We avoid talking about 3 things on a meet. polotics money and religion, those three are are to alienate people

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By *rincess PhoenixWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

It's not racist just to state a preference! You wouldn't be bothered if I said I prefer men with brown hair or I prefer men

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No Blacks or No Asians ,used to be a sign post outside public buildings during colonial era , which becomes very sensitive to both races , especially if it comes from a Caucasian profile .

We do understand the preference issue but could rephrase it .

Rather than saying No Asians ,you can mention your preference like " Caucasian preferred"

It would be more positive .

In our case , hubby is exclusively ignored many times . We get replies as

" We don't mind playing with you but not with your husband "

Or " I like you but my wife won't play with your husband "

I think somewhere people shud start being sensitive towards others too when they write such things.

Rest " we don't care what people write as it exposes them and not us"

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *onelockMan
over a year ago

Kettering

True ??

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By *anenkam OP   Couple
over a year ago

manchester

Expressing a preference for something is fine and non-discriminatory. Expressing a preference against an entire race is discriminatory and racist and even if that is your preference there are ways to deal with it without causing offence. However, I get the feeling that it is stated to do just that in a lot of cases because that's how society is.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Expressing a preference for something is fine and non-discriminatory. Expressing a preference against an entire race is discriminatory and racist and even if that is your preference there are ways to deal with it without causing offence. However, I get the feeling that it is stated to do just that in a lot of cases because that's how society is."

Great post and very much food for thought. I admire you for highlighting this as an issue on here. Preference is fine. Discriminating is not.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have a racial preference towards east asian men but I don't put it on my profile because I don't want other people to feel like I'll discount them because they aren't asian. Its actually just a preference, I wouldn't turn someone down for their race.

I think if you are excluding an entire race of people based on your perception of how that race looks then there may be more at play there than a simple preference.

I'd still like to know though so I can avoid people like that. "

Very well put, this is my understanding! I don’t think I would outright call people racist for it, but it’s just bizarre to me that people can know that they’re not attracted to someone just based off their skin colour!

By saying ‘no black men’, you’re putting everyone into that one category, and saying they are all equally unattractive to you. For me that’s like putting Idris Elba and Snoop Dogg in the same category or Brad Pitt and Steve Buschemi...

To say you find an entire race unattractive is just a little narrow minded imo.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rimKardashianMan
over a year ago

Yorkshire

If someone has the time & inclination to state definitively on their profile that they aren't attracted to or looking for Black/Asian men then I consider it their loss & move on.

Honestly saves me the trouble of wasting my time & theirs if I was previously interested in their profile & thinking about introducing myself.

Usually block them as well just in case I stumble on an update weeks later & realise it's the same profile.

Nothing malicious about it; course when you spot it on a profile it can put you on your heels a little to see especially when you are genuinely interested in someone rather than just browsing but then there's plenty of other people out there so why get so stressed about one.

Happy fabbing people!!

xx

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the majority of the time it is just a preference but there are some racists on here. I’ve been called damaged goods because I have a liking for black men.

However, I think it’s often how it is written and a little tact can go a long way. For example if you see ‘I prefer/fancy XYZ’ instead of ‘I dislike XYZ’ or ‘no XYZ’ it is less provocative to the reader.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich


"

and even one that said 'no traffic wardens'

"

I can understand that one

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rincess PhoenixWoman
over a year ago

Southampton


"No Blacks or No Asians ,used to be a sign post outside public buildings during colonial era , which becomes very sensitive to both races , especially if it comes from a Caucasian profile .

We do understand the preference issue but could rephrase it .

Rather than saying No Asians ,you can mention your preference like " Caucasian preferred"

It would be more positive .

In our case , hubby is exclusively ignored many times . We get replies as

" We don't mind playing with you but not with your husband "

Or " I like you but my wife won't play with your husband "

I think somewhere people shud start being sensitive towards others too when they write such things.

Rest " we don't care what people write as it exposes them and not us"

"

You're joking? People really say that to you??

I have preferences but I would never disregard someone on the basis of race I have the same standards for everyone

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

Yes i noticed how many women say they prefer black men only.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *anenkam OP   Couple
over a year ago

manchester

Having a preference for something is not an expression of racism. Discriminating against a whole race is. No-one is asking anyone to have sex with anyone they don't want but expressions of racism are wrong and cause offence.

The initial point was to request people that run this site to include within their Acceptable Use Policy (AUP) a statement stating racism of this form is not acceptable. It's offensive and should not be included in people's profiles

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *he riverdeep69Couple
over a year ago

North west ish


"Having a preference for something is not an expression of racism. Discriminating against a whole race is. No-one is asking anyone to have sex with anyone they don't want but expressions of racism are wrong and cause offence.

The initial point was to request people that run this site to include within their Acceptable Use Policy (AUP) a statement stating racism of this form is not acceptable. It's offensive and should not be included in people's profiles"

But its not racist if people do not want to fuck someone from a race. If it offends you block those profiles, don't meet them. I don't fuck men off here. It says no single men on our profile. Does that make me sexist? Will fab stop people putting that on our profile?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"..... Is it acceptable to state that in your profile or should this be considered racist and against this site's acceptable use policy? Would we get away with stating no handicapped people? We all have preferences and there's no problem with that but we suspect some state this deliberately to make a statement. It's not needed and insensitive in our opinion. "

I see more profiles asking specifically for black men, what statement do you think that makes out of curiosity?

People have preferences, sometimes those preferences are based on physical characteristics, for example I do not come across as attractive to Asian women, does that mean they are all anti white racists? I doubt it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *hav02Man
over a year ago

Glasgow/London

Are you inciting that someone is racist/prejudice if they choose that they don't want to have sex with someone of certain physical trait?

It's one thing being friends or employing someone in your company business, but intimate relationships is totally different.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If someone has the time & inclination to state definitively on their profile that they aren't attracted to or looking for Black/Asian men then I consider it their loss & move on.

Honestly saves me the trouble of wasting my time & theirs if I was previously interested in their profile & thinking about introducing myself.

Usually block them as well just in case I stumble on an update weeks later & realise it's the same profile.

Nothing malicious about it; course when you spot it on a profile it can put you on your heels a little to see especially when you are genuinely interested in someone rather than just browsing but then there's plenty of other people out there so why get so stressed about one.

Happy fabbing people!!

xx"

One of the only sane answers, just learn to BAMO.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ud and BryanCouple
over a year ago

Boston, Lincolnshire


"

It's one thing being friends or employing someone in your company business, but intimate relationships is totally different."

Absolutely!

The same applies to age, gender, orientation etc. Perhaps if there was a racial preference filter, to prevent people being contacted by any they weren't interested in, they're would be no need to post such things on profiles.

After all, a LOT of people have age filters set to prevent people outside their preferred range contracting them, so we don't see, "no over 50's/under 25's" on profiles, so presumably a filter would work.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To say it’s racist is ridiculous.

Many white women are only attracted to black men, that doesn’t suddenly mean they hate their own race.

I am attracted to men of all races but have a preference for white men which I state politely on my profile, that doesn’t mean I suddenly hate all my own black people or look at them as inferior.

Sexual preferences are completely different, they cannot be compared to job positions for example. I wouldn’t sleep with a 5ft man, but I’d happily be friends with one for example. Not being attracted to something doesn’t mean you hate it, or think of it as inferior which would be racism.

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By *9alMan
over a year ago

Bridgend

if you limit the type of people you will meet you get less sex so its your loss, I will meet anyone but might have a problem with traffic wardens

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How handsome are the young Asian men of today

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By *esi_maverickMan
over a year ago

Solihull

I believe its a preference,that should be respected.

This is a swingers site where you have the opportunity to meet people who share the same interests.

A simple post asking a question or making a statement always seems to lead to a racial discussion.

I as a British Indian find it hard to meet people on here, patience is a virtue there will always be someone whom I will connect with.

Mentally and physically.

I have always and will continue to respect people's preferences.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton

I don’t see anything wrong in putting on your profile what type of person you are not interested in meeting be it black , white , Asian , Greek like myself or any other nationalities.I have seen various threads about No Asians some of the people who have posted have had bad experiences with Asians other have had good experiences.Me the single guys I have met at socials , clubs , spa have been pleasant to talk to and respectful.

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By *ablo minibar123Woman
over a year ago

.


"I believe its a preference,that should be respected.

This is a swingers site where you have the opportunity to meet people who share the same interests.

A simple post asking a question or making a statement always seems to lead to a racial discussion.

I as a British Indian find it hard to meet people on here, patience is a virtue there will always be someone whom I will connect with.

Mentally and physically.

I have always and will continue to respect people's preferences.

"

A refreshingly good attitude to have on here.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *esi_maverickMan
over a year ago

Solihull


"I believe its a preference,that should be respected.

This is a swingers site where you have the opportunity to meet people who share the same interests.

A simple post asking a question or making a statement always seems to lead to a racial discussion.

I as a British Indian find it hard to meet people on here, patience is a virtue there will always be someone whom I will connect with.

Mentally and physically.

I have always and will continue to respect people's preferences.

A refreshingly good attitude to have on here."

Muchas gracias

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"if you limit the type of people you will meet you get less sex so its your loss, I will meet anyone but might have a problem with traffic wardens "

It’s not a loss if we didn’t want them in the first place.

Loss means to lose something of value. If I’m not interested in someone from the get go, how can it be a loss?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As someone of mixed caucasian and south asian heritage, I can see both sides of the argument.

During the days of the british empire, apartheid South Africa and segregated America, public places (bathrooms, petrol stations, restaurants and hotels etc...) would hang signs saying no dogs, no blacks, no asians.

Im sure as most would agree this is highly offensive.

Saying no blacks and no asians on a profile reminds people of those times, so yes I agree fab should review those terms.

However stating preference for a certain race most certainly is not racist! I personally am rarely attracted to black ladies, however that doesn’t mean I have never been attracted to black ladies, just more rare, so do I state a racial preference on my profile? No! Do I have them? Yes! But as always the individual is more important than anything

Personally in the times we live in if someone was to mention anything about anyones race at all, that is the type of people I would actively try to disengage with.

Hot is hot no matter what.

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By *wice pleaseMan
over a year ago

near Darlington

[Removed by poster at 05/06/20 11:30:48]

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By *wice pleaseMan
over a year ago

near Darlington

for those who feel discriminated against, just wait until you reach a milestone age 50/60 as a single white guy. Its like you become invisible or your cock has dropped off. it took me ages to build a new group of contacts at 50 and its proving just as challenging again at 60. but it peoples preference and choice and sometime they just dont realise what they are missing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So in your mind, I am a racist because I list in our profile that we do not play with black or Asian people... So in your mind, is it racist to say, we do not play with white people? The answer would be no.

I come from a country that has majority black people, I was never attracted to black people from a young age and that hasn't changed since growing up and moving countries. It is purely just a sexual preference. Not being a racist. I have lots of friends from all races but I still have my preference.

The reason I added it to our profile was because we were getting hundreds of messages and when we say, sorry but we don't play with Black/Asian guys we got berated and hurled abuse at, a lot of guys asked why and we just politely replied that it's just a sexual preference, nothing more. Some replied and have said thank you to at least replying politely which is what we always do. So you see for us, it helps not waste anyone's time or ours.

I think by adding this post you are starting a racist post which is not appropriate.

We are all very sensitive to what is happening at the moment and by adding this you are fueling the fire.

We should be coming together as a human race, not dividing us.

Don't accuse people for adding a preference as being racist.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ab jamesMan
over a year ago

ribble valley

Reverse that.As a white guy who loves coloured girls, I've been accused of racism for asking for a black girl. A lot of people seem very mixed up about skin colour. I think the loudest shouters, are the real racists.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"for those who feel discriminated against, just wait until you reach a milestone age 50/60 as a single white guy. Its like you become invisible or your cock has dropped off. it took me ages to build a new group of contacts at 50 and its proving just as challenging again at 60. but it peoples preference and choice and sometime they just dont realise what they are missing."

You haven’t always been that age. It has changed with time. I have always been brown. Age changes, race does not.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So in your mind, I am a racist because I list in our profile that we do not play with black or Asian people... So in your mind, is it racist to say, we do not play with white people? The answer would be no.

I come from a country that has majority black people, I was never attracted to black people from a young age and that hasn't changed since growing up and moving countries. It is purely just a sexual preference. Not being a racist. I have lots of friends from all races but I still have my preference.

The reason I added it to our profile was because we were getting hundreds of messages and when we say, sorry but we don't play with Black/Asian guys we got berated and hurled abuse at, a lot of guys asked why and we just politely replied that it's just a sexual preference, nothing more. Some replied and have said thank you to at least replying politely which is what we always do. So you see for us, it helps not waste anyone's time or ours.

I think by adding this post you are starting a racist post which is not appropriate.

We are all very sensitive to what is happening at the moment and by adding this you are fueling the fire.

We should be coming together as a human race, not dividing us.

Don't accuse people for adding a preference as being racist. "

Regarding your point about playing with white people this would indeed be racist if you did not play with white people based solely on the fact they are white.

Onto point 2 about racial preferences, does race play a factor in attraction? Sometimes, however the fetishising of a race is clearly a step backwards and you are entitled to your racial preference, however using the clear words “no blacks and “no asians” has a historical context that you should be aware of if you were raised in a majority black country.

Point 3, has your stating clearly of no blacks and no asians on your profile... I sympathise if you have received abuse from anyone regarding a reply, however by stating it have you automatically stopped recieving messages from black or asian people?

By adding this post I am not calling anyone racist for stating a preference, I am bringing light to the fact that your words matter. Please chose them carefully. Also how is me stating how I feel a racist post?

You say adding fuel to the fire? Well maybe its time this discussion was had properly, most people seem to think racism goes away, unfortunatley you can not kill an idea.

The fact that you state above “don’t accuse me of being racist “ is an issue in itself as those words tell me you are more concerned about being accused of being racist, instead of actually being racist.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And as previously stated, the original question bu the OP indicates should fab review its terms and conditions of mentioning race.

In my opinion yes.

Stating I prefer XYZ should be allowed.

When you list a race as a dislike on your profile that is racist.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it’s fine to say if you don’t want to meet a certain ethnicity if they just aren’t your type it isn’t racist it’s just what people are looking for.

For instance if I was to put “no black women please” In my profile and people take it as racist then at the same time that means people shouldn’t be able to say “BBC only please no white men” for the reason of double standards

Which we know isn’t going to fly ahah

It isn’t racist to put out there what your type is

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow. I appreciate your comments. I do not like being told I am a racist. Shall I call you a rapist. When in fact neither of us are either. This post has done exactly what I said it would. Cause a debate about race when we should instead be standing together as humans and not dividing us. How is me stating a sexual preference being racist. Its not! I grew up in the apartheid regime and I cried seeing my friends being treated that way. It makes me angry. I have tried my whole life to be inclusive of everyone not based on the colour of their skin. And to be told I am a racist just because I won't have sex with black or Asian men is extremely offensive. For goodness sake. Yes I am bothered by being called racist. Its not nice being accused of something you are not.

To the point of the OP post, Is putting a filter on based on race also not being racist. How far would you like the filters to go. No whites, no Asian, no Blacks, no Chinese, no Polish, no Indians ... its starts to become a slippery slope. There are so many races that a filter would not work. Who do you add or exclude. Do we start along the lines of what country you come from next, no Americans. No British, no Spanish, no Greeks, no Australians. Where do you stop. Is it not easier for that kind of preference to be added to each individual profile.

I am all for a good healthy debate but when you start accusing someone of being something they are not, you are overstepping that line. You cannot accuse someone based on a sexual preference. That is wrong. For all you know they have family of colour, they fight for those family members injustices, they cry along with those who are suffering these injustices.

I get told I am going to have sex with your new born baby girl to cure my aids because my government says so... but still I am not a racist. Because I know, everyone is human. And I treat every human the same. With respect! It doesn't mean I want to have sex with every human.

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By *heblackmacMan
over a year ago

Ladywell, Lewisham.


"It's a swingers site at the end of the day any everyone has a type or particular fantasy they would like to act out . In my experience black guys do rather well on a place like this more so that white guys even . "
once you go black,will never go back

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By *heblackmacMan
over a year ago

Ladywell, Lewisham.

As a black guy ,for pussy is a pussy,don't mind what colour is your skin,as long you ok with spreading your gates of in front of me and I'm about to fuck it ,,,,we all good

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By *ollycouple71Couple
over a year ago

manchester


"I see your point, but disagree I have just read a few profiles and here are some quotes

'no single men'

'bbc only no white guys'

'no fuck buddy couples, married only'

'no beards'

'no one with pubic hair'

'no couples'

'no one over 40'

'no one under 30'

and even one that said 'no traffic wardens'

whilst as I say I see your point, and respect where you are coming from is saying what you don't want and who you don't want to meet racist, sexist, ageist or just as people say ' expressing a preference' ?

or is it just making people aware of what you like / dislike ?

Great post. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's a swingers site at the end of the day any everyone has a type or particular fantasy they would like to act out . In my experience black guys do rather well on a place like this more so that white guys even . once you go black,will never go back"

Most of the times they do tho lol

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By *anenkam OP   Couple
over a year ago

manchester

I think you're one of a few that get the intent of my original post. I wish others would read what I've actually said and what tyhis debate is about Thank you

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By *bonybbwWoman
over a year ago

London

I prefer honesty and not to be messed around. I get a lot of messages from timewasters who say they like BBWs. Yet there is nothing on their profile that mentions this. What am I to think when its as though they are hiding something?

It's better to set out your likes and dislikes that way you know where you stand.

Then again some don't look beyond the photos anyway never mind reading whats written on the profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Reverse that.As a white guy who loves coloured girls, I've been accused of racism for asking for a black girl. A lot of people seem very mixed up about skin colour. I think the loudest shouters, are the real racists. "

Please don’t say we are coloured!

It always reminds me of that photo from an election in the 60s.

“If you desire a coloured for a neighbour vote Labour.

If you are already burdened with one vote Tory.”

Saying “black” does just fine!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Reverse that.As a white guy who loves coloured girls, I've been accused of racism for asking for a black girl. A lot of people seem very mixed up about skin colour. I think the loudest shouters, are the real racists.

Please don’t say we are coloured!

It always reminds me of that photo from an election in the 60s.

“If you desire a coloured for a neighbour vote Labour.

If you are already burdened with one vote Tory.”

Saying “black” does just fine! "

And this was my exact point... words matter!

Saying no blacks and no asians throws us back to the 1960s mindset, saying I prefer XYZ, doe not offend in the slightest as it is a preference!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think you're one of a few that get the intent of my original post. I wish others would read what I've actually said and what tyhis debate is about Thank you "
.

Are you allowed to point out who? At times I feel as though I have been rambling on!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 05/06/20 14:21:55]

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By *anenkam OP   Couple
over a year ago

manchester

Singlenotts, I was referring to you. You're on the same wavelength and appreciate the point I'm making.

It would be good to get the site admin to take this seriously and maybe do something about it. Hope they're reading.

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By *himp_KittenCouple
over a year ago

Preston


"So in your mind, I am a racist because I list in our profile that we do not play with black or Asian people... So in your mind, is it racist to say, we do not play with white people? The answer would be no.

I come from a country that has majority black people, I was never attracted to black people from a young age and that hasn't changed since growing up and moving countries. It is purely just a sexual preference. Not being a racist. I have lots of friends from all races but I still have my preference.

The reason I added it to our profile was because we were getting hundreds of messages and when we say, sorry but we don't play with Black/Asian guys we got berated and hurled abuse at, a lot of guys asked why and we just politely replied that it's just a sexual preference, nothing more. Some replied and have said thank you to at least replying politely which is what we always do. So you see for us, it helps not waste anyone's time or ours.

I think by adding this post you are starting a racist post which is not appropriate.

We are all very sensitive to what is happening at the moment and by adding this you are fueling the fire.

We should be coming together as a human race, not dividing us.

Don't accuse people for adding a preference as being racist. "

Perfectly put

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Singlenotts, I was referring to you. You're on the same wavelength and appreciate the point I'm making.

It would be good to get the site admin to take this seriously and maybe do something about it. Hope they're reading."

I was thinking the same, Singlenotts makes some good points.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just read on a black woman’s profile....

White men only....

Is this black woman a racist? Or does she have a preference for white men?

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By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton


"Ive just had a message saying BLACKS ARE LEECHES ON SOCIETY SO THEIR LIVES DNT MATTER.

THIS IS WHY I DNT MEET WHITE GUYS and why i specify i only meet black."

. Sorry to hear you have received such a vile message. I am guessing you have reported and blocked this vile person.

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By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton


"I just read on a black woman’s profile....

White men only....

Is this black woman a racist? Or does she have a preference for white men?"

. In my eyes she is not racists she is stating her preference

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ive just had a message saying BLACKS ARE LEECHES ON SOCIETY SO THEIR LIVES DNT MATTER.

THIS IS WHY I DNT MEET WHITE GUYS and why i specify i only meet black.. Sorry to hear you have received such a vile message. I am guessing you have reported and blocked this vile person."

Yes then i get another telling me im racist. I was married to a white man for 30 yrs. Who was not kind. I met a lovely guy who was black so my preference is black. Not racist.

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By *9alMan
over a year ago

Bridgend

I was married to a white woman it ended in a nasty divorce I don't write off the whole race or gender

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By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton


"Ive just had a message saying BLACKS ARE LEECHES ON SOCIETY SO THEIR LIVES DNT MATTER.

THIS IS WHY I DNT MEET WHITE GUYS and why i specify i only meet black.. Sorry to hear you have received such a vile message. I am guessing you have reported and blocked this vile person.

Yes then i get another telling me im racist. I was married to a white man for 30 yrs. Who was not kind. I met a lovely guy who was black so my preference is black. Not racist. "

. Sorry to hear you were in a unhappy marriage with a white man for 30 years I am sure you are a sensible lady and realise not all white guys are the same.If been with a black guy now makes you happy then that’s good.I don’t consider you or anyone else for stating on their profile what their preference are and no one should be sending vile racist messages.Fabs is what you want it to be and how you choose to use it , chat , meet is no ones business except yours.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was married to a white woman it ended in a nasty divorce I don't write off the whole race or gender"

No one said you do. Its my choice. You have a choice exactly the same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ive just had a message saying BLACKS ARE LEECHES ON SOCIETY SO THEIR LIVES DNT MATTER.

THIS IS WHY I DNT MEET WHITE GUYS and why i specify i only meet black.. Sorry to hear you have received such a vile message. I am guessing you have reported and blocked this vile person.

Yes then i get another telling me im racist. I was married to a white man for 30 yrs. Who was not kind. I met a lovely guy who was black so my preference is black. Not racist. . Sorry to hear you were in a unhappy marriage with a white man for 30 years I am sure you are a sensible lady and realise not all white guys are the same.If been with a black guy now makes you happy then that’s good.I don’t consider you or anyone else for stating on their profile what their preference are and no one should be sending vile racist messages.Fabs is what you want it to be and how you choose to use it , chat , meet is no ones business except yours."

Thank you for your words

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If one judges a whole race of people on the colour of their skin that is racsim. Because one has a bad experience with one person of a race does not mean all people will be the same. That is where stereo types come from and contributes to racsim.

To disregard a whole group of people due to thier race is racism.

It isn't difficult

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By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton


"Ive just had a message saying BLACKS ARE LEECHES ON SOCIETY SO THEIR LIVES DNT MATTER.

THIS IS WHY I DNT MEET WHITE GUYS and why i specify i only meet black.. Sorry to hear you have received such a vile message. I am guessing you have reported and blocked this vile person.

Yes then i get another telling me im racist. I was married to a white man for 30 yrs. Who was not kind. I met a lovely guy who was black so my preference is black. Not racist. . Sorry to hear you were in a unhappy marriage with a white man for 30 years I am sure you are a sensible lady and realise not all white guys are the same.If been with a black guy now makes you happy then that’s good.I don’t consider you or anyone else for stating on their profile what their preference are and no one should be sending vile racist messages.Fabs is what you want it to be and how you choose to use it , chat , meet is no ones business except yours.

Thank you for your words"

. No problem I have sent you a message no pressure to respond.Stay strong and stay safe

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By *unseakersCouple
over a year ago

Tropical SW & frozen North

You should be able to set whatever parameters you feel works for you.

If you say “y” preferred that means that “x” may still be an option. If “x”’is not an option the you should be within your rights to say that

Legislation covers all this and we don’t need the AUP to add to this. If you don’t like what people have written, do not engage with them and block them.

Do not force your opinions on others or constrain them because of your point of view.

The law is there for a reason! Argggh, prob shouldn’t have posted but the nanny state mentality is infuriating

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I just read on a black woman’s profile....

White men only....

Is this black woman a racist? Or does she have a preference for white men?"

I state I’m seeking white males on my profile too.

According to some I just be racist to my own race, every single one of them...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing wrong in having preferences but it doesn't have to be IN CAPITAL Letters on a profile.

I have likes/dislikes obviously but tend to take people at face value. For example, I like a big bearded tattoo covered man but I talk to loads who don't meet that criteria, some I would happily meet. Guess I'm trying to say have your preferences but don't shut out whole groups of people so publicly, especially with the knowledge that particular choice of wording may be offensive to many people. If someone you're not attracted to contacts you, simply ignore or say no thanks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nothing wrong in having preferences but it doesn't have to be IN CAPITAL Letters on a profile.

I have likes/dislikes obviously but tend to take people at face value. For example, I like a big bearded tattoo covered man but I talk to loads who don't meet that criteria, some I would happily meet. Guess I'm trying to say have your preferences but don't shut out whole groups of people so publicly, especially with the knowledge that particular choice of wording may be offensive to many people. If someone you're not attracted to contacts you, simply ignore or say no thanks. "

Or... people could write what they like on their profiles within the rules.

Anything can offend someone, there’s no point treading on eggshells for those you’re not interested in.

Of course putting who you’d like to meet rather than who you wouldn’t is all well and good, but nobody is obliged to do so.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nothing wrong in having preferences but it doesn't have to be IN CAPITAL Letters on a profile.

I have likes/dislikes obviously but tend to take people at face value. For example, I like a big bearded tattoo covered man but I talk to loads who don't meet that criteria, some I would happily meet. Guess I'm trying to say have your preferences but don't shut out whole groups of people so publicly, especially with the knowledge that particular choice of wording may be offensive to many people. If someone you're not attracted to contacts you, simply ignore or say no thanks. "

Exactly this!

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By *chilleMan
over a year ago

London / Paris

You can have your preferences but no need to share it on your page...

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull


"..... Is it acceptable to state that in your profile or should this be considered racist and against this site's acceptable use policy? Would we get away with stating no handicapped people? We all have preferences and there's no problem with that but we suspect some state this deliberately to make a statement. It's not needed and insensitive in our opinion. "

At least they're honest and it saves someone putting time and effort into messaging them

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By *anenkam OP   Couple
over a year ago

manchester


"..... Is it acceptable to state that in your profile or should this be considered racist and against this site's acceptable use policy? Would we get away with stating no handicapped people? We all have preferences and there's no problem with that but we suspect some state this deliberately to make a statement. It's not needed and insensitive in our opinion.

At least they're honest and it saves someone putting time and effort into messaging them"

Some may be being honest but I suspect a lot are being racist which just reflects the nastiness we see in general society. There's no need for it and as quite a few have stated, if you don't want to meet anyone from a certain ethnic background and you get approached a simple "sorry but you're not our type" would suffice. People get knock backs all the time, we do, but that's preferable to seeing what looks like an obvious racist trope on a profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What about when someone is fed up of being fetishised? I’ve been with a range of people from varied ethnicities, races and cultures

But....

When messages like ‘ooh i love a bit of black‘, ‘mmm black pussy‘, ‘black girls just fuck better‘, ‘whats it like taking a big black cock?’ Etcetera, Blah blah and so on are received it gets a bit sick making. It gets old, fast, trying to explain why I personally find this type of talk abhorrent. Delete and block is an option but on the times when i have challenged the message sender into seeing me as a human rather than a fetish fuck they’ve seemed contrite.

My expressing a preference doesn't stop these types of messages but it has reduced them. Everyone has a reason for expressing or not expressing preference we should be allowed to. I supposed its not whats said its how you say it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm asian and I dont see any problem with sexual preferences. Although when I started to CD all of a sudden the same people were messaging me haha. Just saying

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've lost count of the number of profiles I've seen saying they're only look for black/BBC. I agree this is racist.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've lost count of the number of profiles I've seen saying they're only look for black/BBC. I agree this is racist. "

So I’m racist for wanting to meet white men on here?

Right...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've lost count of the number of profiles I've seen saying they're only look for black/BBC. I agree this is racist.

So I’m racist for wanting to meet white men on here?

Right... "

I wouldn’t bite! I don’t think he understands the difference between prejudice and preference

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To simplify it for those who don’t understand the difference...

I have had two jobs where I have travelled extensively for work.

At one I asked a colleague if he wanted to grab some chinese food after work. He said no I don’t like east asian food lets get some pub food - preference

At another job me and some colleagues planned on an Indian restaurant as it was my last day - one colleague jumped up and said he did not line Indian food, how it smelt, how it looked, how it was untasty, how the people cooking it lack food hygiene, how food served on these shores should be food that is native to the land and how no restaurant in India serves english food (fish and chips is available in every country btw!) and generally went on for 5 minutes about how much he disliked “indian food” - this in my opinion was prejudiced

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By *lorious hole bs16Man
over a year ago

Bristol


"I've lost count of the number of profiles I've seen saying they're only look for black/BBC. I agree this is racist. "

This is not what the OP asked.

I see nothing wrong with someone saying they are only looking for black/ asian guys..As I said earlier,it is when people highlight NO BLACK/ASIAN that makes me feel uncomfortable, whether it is racist I don't know but I think its offensive.

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By *olid as rockMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

Thank you and I'm glad someones noticed and mentioned this that's all I'm gonna say ??

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By *exeiraMan
over a year ago

London


"No Blacks or No Asians ,used to be a sign post outside public buildings during colonial era , which becomes very sensitive to both races , especially if it comes from a Caucasian profile .

We do understand the preference issue but could rephrase it .

Rather than saying No Asians ,you can mention your preference like " Caucasian preferred"

It would be more positive .

In our case , hubby is exclusively ignored many times . We get replies as

" We don't mind playing with you but not with your husband "

Or " I like you but my wife won't play with your husband "

I think somewhere people shud start being sensitive towards others too when they write such things.

Rest " we don't care what people write as it exposes them and not us"

"

Well said. Not far from the signs NO BLACKS, NO DOGS AND NO IRISH. Its the uneducated ones that seem to over look this . Also a preference for beards, gingers or a body type is a preference. As soon as race is mentioned, it is RACIST. Not to be confused by type or preference.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've lost count of the number of profiles I've seen saying they're only look for black/BBC. I agree this is racist.

So I’m racist for wanting to meet white men on here?

Right...

I wouldn’t bite! I don’t think he understands the difference between prejudice and preference"

I genuinely find it funny.

It often f*cks up their argument when I ask “Am I racist to my own race then?” they seem to go quiet...

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By *exeiraMan
over a year ago

London


"If one judges a whole race of people on the colour of their skin that is racsim. Because one has a bad experience with one person of a race does not mean all people will be the same. That is where stereo types come from and contributes to racsim.

Thank you. Very wise words. This is what I believe the OP is trying to get across. Ruling out a whole race is RACIST. It isn't a preference anymore.

To disregard a whole group of people due to thier race is racism.

It isn't difficult

"

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By *wingNSingMan
over a year ago

cheshire

I don't think anyone's preferences should be considered racist or prejudice in any way . I don't want bi guys or older m/f couples . Doesn't mean I'm homophobic or ageist ... Just means it's not my preference.

For the record I think Black women and Asian women are absolutely gorgeous , so if know any pass them my direction X

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By *he Ring WraithMan
over a year ago

Bradford


"I've lost count of the number of profiles I've seen saying they're only look for black/BBC. I agree this is racist.

So I’m racist for wanting to meet white men on here?

Right...

I wouldn’t bite! I don’t think he understands the difference between prejudice and preference

I genuinely find it funny.

It often f*cks up their argument when I ask “Am I racist to my own race then?” they seem to go quiet... "

If that is the case I assume that it follows that any caucasian women who want black guys only are also racist - to their own race; interesting concept.

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By *exeiraMan
over a year ago

London


"I've lost count of the number of profiles I've seen saying they're only look for black/BBC. I agree this is racist.

So I’m racist for wanting to meet white men on here?

Right...

I wouldn’t bite! I don’t think he understands the difference between prejudice and preference

I genuinely find it funny.

It often f*cks up their argument when I ask “Am I racist to my own race then?” they seem to go quiet...

If that is the case I assume that it follows that any caucasian women who want black guys only are also racist - to their own race; interesting concept."

You cant be racist to your own race.

Racism is prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against someone of a different race based on the belief that one's own race is superior.

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By *uck RockMan
over a year ago

Arsenal/Finsbury Park, London

Why doesn't anyone ever question their preferences. We just except them as if we're born with them. Preferences are born out of lived and/or imagined experience. They also change over time. So when someone says they don't or do have a preference for a particular race without extreme examination of WHY ... they'll probably find its rooted in some form of racial bias. And yes it can be racist...the real problem is no one wants to admit that we're all a little bit or a lot racist.

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By *exeiraMan
over a year ago

London


"Why doesn't anyone ever question their preferences. We just except them as if we're born with them. Preferences are born out of lived and/or imagined experience. They also change over time. So when someone says they don't or do have a preference for a particular race without extreme examination of WHY ... they'll probably find its rooted in some form of racial bias. And yes it can be racist...the real problem is no one wants to admit that we're all a little bit or a lot racist."
Very true what you say. But to rule out a whole race due to a bad experience or simply state your not attracted to someone of a certain race is RACIST.Often confused with preference.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've lost count of the number of profiles I've seen saying they're only look for black/BBC. I agree this is racist.

So I’m racist for wanting to meet white men on here?

Right...

I wouldn’t bite! I don’t think he understands the difference between prejudice and preference

I genuinely find it funny.

It often f*cks up their argument when I ask “Am I racist to my own race then?” they seem to go quiet...

If that is the case I assume that it follows that any caucasian women who want black guys only are also racist - to their own race; interesting concept.

You cant be racist to your own race.

Racism is prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against someone of a different race based on the belief that one's own race is superior."

Exactly. Which debunks the whole “Your preference is racist” argument.

Someone can’t say it’s not racist for example for me to prefer to meet white men as a black woman, and then in the next breath shout racist to a white woman who prefers to meet white men.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 07/06/20 02:12:05]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why doesn't anyone ever question their preferences. We just except them as if we're born with them. Preferences are born out of lived and/or imagined experience. They also change over time. So when someone says they don't or do have a preference for a particular race without extreme examination of WHY ... they'll probably find its rooted in some form of racial bias. And yes it can be racist...the real problem is no one wants to admit that we're all a little bit or a lot racist. Very true what you say. But to rule out a whole race due to a bad experience or simply state your not attracted to someone of a certain race is RACIST.Often confused with preference. "

It’s not. Some people will use the preference line who are racist for sure, but to label every single person who has a preference as racist is rubbish.

Am I homophobic because I won’t meet lesbian women? Am I ageist because I won’t meet men under 35? No.

Sexual preference is intimate, very intimate it cannot be compared to anything else. If someone has a sexual preference where they aren’t attracted to a certain race, but in all other walks of life they treat individuals of that race no different, they’re not racist.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *uck RockMan
over a year ago

Arsenal/Finsbury Park, London


"Why doesn't anyone ever question their preferences. We just except them as if we're born with them. Preferences are born out of lived and/or imagined experience. They also change over time. So when someone says they don't or do have a preference for a particular race without extreme examination of WHY ... they'll probably find its rooted in some form of racial bias. And yes it can be racist...the real problem is no one wants to admit that we're all a little bit or a lot racist. Very true what you say. But to rule out a whole race due to a bad experience or simply state your not attracted to someone of a certain race is RACIST.Often confused with preference.

It’s not. Some people will use the preference line who are racist for sure, but to label every single person who has a preference as racist is rubbish.

Am I homophobic because I won’t meet lesbian women? Am I ageist because I won’t meet men under 35? No.

Sexual preference is intimate, very intimate it cannot be compared to anything else. If someone has a sexual preference where they aren’t attracted to a certain race, but in all other walks of life they treat individuals of that race no different, they’re not racist."

Well if you're talking about attraction to gender that's orientation. Otherwise it's preferences. So if the shoe fits it is what it is be it ableist, ageist etc. I'm not disputing that preferences aren't deeply personal and intimate. I'm not even advocating that they be changed I'm saying examine why you have them. Really dig into your yourself and find the root of it. An obligation I had made of myself.

And lets just say I know damn well after being on this sight for years and roughly 80% of guys who contact me have a preference for a big black dick who will invite all his other friends with big black dicks to near voilently use and abuse them...these are mythologies born out of racist images and fears of hyper sexualised black men passed down and internalised by all for centuries. And that's only an example of one preference...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *exeiraMan
over a year ago

London


"I've lost count of the number of profiles I've seen saying they're only look for black/BBC. I agree this is racist.

So I’m racist for wanting to meet white men on here?

Right...

I wouldn’t bite! I don’t think he understands the difference between prejudice and preference

I genuinely find it funny.

It often f*cks up their argument when I ask “Am I racist to my own race then?” they seem to go quiet...

If that is the case I assume that it follows that any caucasian women who want black guys only are also racist - to their own race; interesting concept.

You cant be racist to your own race.

Racism is prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against someone of a different race based on the belief that one's own race is superior.

Exactly. Which debunks the whole “Your preference is racist” argument.

Someone can’t say it’s not racist for example for me to prefer to meet white men as a black woman, and then in the next breath shout racist to a white woman who prefers to meet white men. "

Again, it has been confused with preference.

What is being implied is that to rule out an entire race be it Black, White, Asian, Mixed Race is Racist. Why should the race or colour of someone be the decided factor of why you would want to have sex with them? Its a deep rooted racial bias. Again, confused with preference. A black women who wants white men or vice versa as you suggest may not be seen as racist. But it is in essence an attraction of 2 people of different racial backgrounds. When a white women prefers to meet only white men, or black women only black men etc. Then there must be an underlying racial bias deep rooted in that individual to make that choice. I dont decide that I will only meet black women and exclude other races. If its a preference, it would be down to body type, facial attraction, manners, sense of humour etc. These are preferences. If I say No whites or Asians and I only meet black women, then I am excluding entire races and its not a preference down to features.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Again, it has been confused with preference.

What is being implied is that to rule out an entire race be it Black, White, Asian, Mixed Race is Racist. Why should the race or colour of someone be the decided factor of why you would want to have sex with them? Its a deep rooted racial bias. Again, confused with preference. A black women who wants white men or vice versa as you suggest may not be seen as racist. But it is in essence an attraction of 2 people of different racial backgrounds. When a white women prefers to meet only white men, or black women only black men etc. Then there must be an underlying racial bias deep rooted in that individual to make that choice. I dont decide that I will only meet black women and exclude other races. If its a preference, it would be down to body type, facial attraction, manners, sense of humour etc. These are preferences. If I say No whites or Asians and I only meet black women, then I am excluding entire races and its not a preference down to features. "

I don’t agree.

I don’t think anyone can make an assumption on a wide range of people and their preferences like that.

If it isn’t racist for X race to have a preference for another race than her own, then it cannot simply be racist for X race to have a preference for their own race.

Unless you know that person and their reasons for said preference you can’t label them racist just off the bat like that, sure some racists use the preference line, but not everyone with a preference for a certain race is racist. As I said, if said person treats every other race in every other situation no different, they can’t possibly be labelled racist.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why should the race or colour of someone be the decided factor of why you would want to have sex with them?"

Because it’s my body & I’m free to make the choice? As is anyone else.

Let’s flip it, I see you have an age filter on your profile. Why should the age of someone be the deciding factor of why you would want to have sex with them?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *atex and KinkCouple
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"No Blacks or No Asians ,used to be a sign post outside public buildings during colonial era , which becomes very sensitive to both races , especially if it comes from a Caucasian profile .

We do understand the preference issue but could rephrase it .

Rather than saying No Asians ,you can mention your preference like " Caucasian preferred"

It would be more positive .

In our case , hubby is exclusively ignored many times . We get replies as

" We don't mind playing with you but not with your husband "

Or " I like you but my wife won't play with your husband "

I think somewhere people shud start being sensitive towards others too when they write such things.

Rest " we don't care what people write as it exposes them and not us"

"

This is an enlightened and well thought out solution.

You are one of a very few couples that have spun the negative into a positive.

It is something myself and lady V need to aspire to, So thank you.

Unfortunately the majority of people are very much preconditioned by society and parenting. "I don't like" or "I don't want" is the standard.

Break the mould be the better person. Take the negative and spin to positive!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rincess PhoenixWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

I have to say I get a lot of black males who message me saying that they want to " break you with my big black cock" or that they are going to violate me in some way and are quite aggressive I'm not going to judge all black guys on that basis but it does make me a little bit wary! I have played with black guys most have been absolutely lovely and respectful

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I see your point, but disagree I have just read a few profiles and here are some quotes

'no single men'

'bbc only no white guys'

'no fuck buddy couples, married only'

'no beards'

'no one with pubic hair'

'no couples'

'no one over 40'

'no one under 30'

and even one that said 'no traffic wardens'

whilst as I say I see your point, and respect where you are coming from is saying what you don't want and who you don't want to meet racist, sexist, ageist or just as people say ' expressing a preference' ?

or is it just making people aware of what you like / dislike ?

"

totally agree with post, it’s your preference . Very much different to being rude, aggressive or down right nasty to someone during to their colour, age, sex etc

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *laqgrapeMan
over a year ago

Sanderstead

Why not simply state " Caucasians only"

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well said

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ovegames42Man
over a year ago

london

[Removed by poster at 07/06/20 16:14:00]

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By *ovegames42Man
over a year ago

london


"..... Is it acceptable to state that in your profile or should this be considered racist and against this site's acceptable use policy? Would we get away with stating no handicapped people? We all have preferences and there's no problem with that but we suspect some state this deliberately to make a statement. It's not needed and insensitive in our opinion. "

The same could be said for no white asians.

The use of the terms BBC or BWC only are maybe something the site should look at, if is has the ability to cause offence To others.

Everyone is looking for something however maybe some things should be left to private messages.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"..... Is it acceptable to state that in your profile or should this be considered racist and against this site's acceptable use policy? Would we get away with stating no handicapped people? We all have preferences and there's no problem with that but we suspect some state this deliberately to make a statement. It's not needed and insensitive in our opinion.

The same could be said for no white asians.

The use of the terms BBC or BWC only are maybe something the site should look at, if is has the ability to cause offence To others.

Everyone is looking for something however maybe some things should be left to private messages.

"

And what about if people say they’re offended by age filters, do we get rid of those too?

Someone will always be offended by something regardless.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *etwifeandhim69Couple
over a year ago

Darlington


"I see your point, but disagree I have just read a few profiles and here are some quotes

'no single men'

'bbc only no white guys'

'no fuck buddy couples, married only'

'no beards'

'no one with pubic hair'

'no couples'

'no one over 40'

'no one under 30'

and even one that said 'no traffic wardens'

whilst as I say I see your point, and respect where you are coming from is saying what you don't want and who you don't want to meet racist, sexist, ageist or just as people say ' expressing a preference' ?

or is it just making people aware of what you like / dislike ?

"

There are a lot of wrongs in the world right now but listing who you will or wont shag for whatever personal reason is not one of them (as long as it's not done in a specifically offensive way).

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone is different we all like different things , if a straight male puts no men , should I be offended ? No because it’s he’s choice, some people like young some old some like ginger haired people , colour is the same it’s a choice, don’t make them racist

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By *100Man
over a year ago

Essex

Filters can be misleading as an engineer I usually say suck it and see when trying new projects so why not stop all filters and see what happens it could be fun

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

I have no problem with people having a preference.

However, as other have said, it's how that is expressed that is the issues.

It's the difference between a positive profile and a negative one. I'm am primarily looking to meet ***, or I prefer ***, rather than NO ***.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *olid as rockMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

Yes it's how you express or phase it

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *laqgrapeMan
over a year ago

Sanderstead

No blacks No Asians....cmon why cant you simply say Caucasians only...simple....we will respect that and pass you by x

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *olid as rockMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

[Removed by poster at 07/06/20 20:56:11]

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By *olid as rockMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

Yes 100%

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By *heblackmacMan
over a year ago

Ladywell, Lewisham.

As a black guy,im into white female only.....does that mean im racists?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Filters can be misleading as an engineer I usually say suck it and see when trying new projects so why not stop all filters and see what happens it could be fun"

No thanks.

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By *atex and KinkCouple
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"I have no problem with people having a preference.

However, as other have said, it's how that is expressed that is the issues.

It's the difference between a positive profile and a negative one. I'm am primarily looking to meet ***, or I prefer ***, rather than NO ***.

"

this with bells on

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *armandwet50Couple
over a year ago

Far far away


"As a black guy,im into white female only.....does that mean im racists?"

We are the other way around at the moment and are going through a "black phase" are we racist against whites?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *anenkam OP   Couple
over a year ago

manchester

We've mailed the site owners and made our objection clear regarding the "No BLACKS/ASIANS" wording on profiles and asked them to update their Acceptable Use Policy (AUP) to ban this type of overtly racist phrasing. If people have a preference and quite clearly people do, there are other ways of doing so without causing offence.

We'd urge others that feel strongly about this issue to do the same.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We've mailed the site owners and made our objection clear regarding the "No BLACKS/ASIANS" wording on profiles and asked them to update their Acceptable Use Policy (AUP) to ban this type of overtly racist phrasing. If people have a preference and quite clearly people do, there are other ways of doing so without causing offence.

We'd urge others that feel strongly about this issue to do the same."

What about

NO WHITES is that racist please

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *he riverdeep69Couple
over a year ago

North west ish


"We've mailed the site owners and made our objection clear regarding the "No BLACKS/ASIANS" wording on profiles and asked them to update their Acceptable Use Policy (AUP) to ban this type of overtly racist phrasing. If people have a preference and quite clearly people do, there are other ways of doing so without causing offence.

We'd urge others that feel strongly about this issue to do the same."

Did you ask them to also ban 'no single men' - sexist?

'No females' on single fem profiles - homophobic?

Any profile with age filters - ageist?

Nobody from over 200 miles away - geographist??

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *penmarriage UkCouple
over a year ago

Maidenhead


"No Blacks or No Asians ,used to be a sign post outside public buildings during colonial era , which becomes very sensitive to both races , especially if it comes from a Caucasian profile .

We do understand the preference issue but could rephrase it .

Rather than saying No Asians ,you can mention your preference like " Caucasian preferred"

It would be more positive .

In our case , hubby is exclusively ignored many times . We get replies as

" We don't mind playing with you but not with your husband "

Or " I like you but my wife won't play with your husband "

I think somewhere people shud start being sensitive towards others too when they write such things.

Rest " we don't care what people write as it exposes them and not us"

"

Well said. Have had the above comments on numerous occasions and have always said to my better half that it's their loss and moved on..

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get a life here we go ruddy do golfers p c police makes my blood boil why is it only one way ask yourself that (think about it) ok

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gooders*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gooders*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think it depends on how it is said...

If someone says; I have a preference for white guys/women then I dont think anyone can be upset by that..but if someone is using capital letters like; NO ASIANS then it certainly makes me feel uncomfortable."

I get what you are saying but perhaps some people have had experiences of people being somewhat persistent or they have tried to make the point more subtly and been ignored.

As a couple we like single guys but my wife doesn’t like Asian men, it’s her preference yet despite us placing that in our profile, we get lots of messages from Asian men.

We even had one trying to pass himself off as Italian !

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No Blacks or No Asians ,used to be a sign post outside public buildings during colonial era , which becomes very sensitive to both races , especially if it comes from a Caucasian profile .

We do understand the preference issue but could rephrase it .

Rather than saying No Asians ,you can mention your preference like " Caucasian preferred"

It would be more positive .

In our case , hubby is exclusively ignored many times . We get replies as

" We don't mind playing with you but not with your husband "

Or " I like you but my wife won't play with your husband "

I think somewhere people shud start being sensitive towards others too when they write such things.

Rest " we don't care what people write as it exposes them and not us"

"

Maybe it’s just because they don’t fancy your hubby? I think it’s quite common amongst all races for the female to be preferred and the male to be a bit of a “letdown”.

We have deffo seen couples of all races where we have thought the female is attractive and the guy not. We’ve also had that same situation back to us as well.

I think often it’s just the fact that blokes will shag anything whereas ladies may be more choosy. I bet there are very few cases where an Asian woman is rejected on the grounds of her race.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ovegames42Man
over a year ago

london


"No Blacks or No Asians ,used to be a sign post outside public buildings during colonial era , which becomes very sensitive to both races , especially if it comes from a Caucasian profile .

We do understand the preference issue but could rephrase it .

Rather than saying No Asians ,you can mention your preference like " Caucasian preferred"

It would be more positive .

In our case , hubby is exclusively ignored many times . We get replies as

" We don't mind playing with you but not with your husband "

Or " I like you but my wife won't play with your husband "

I think somewhere people shud start being sensitive towards others too when they write such things.

Rest " we don't care what people write as it exposes them and not us"

Maybe it’s just because they don’t fancy your hubby? I think it’s quite common amongst all races for the female to be preferred and the male to be a bit of a “letdown”.

We have deffo seen couples of all races where we have thought the female is attractive and the guy not. We’ve also had that same situation back to us as well.

I think often it’s just the fact that blokes will shag anything whereas ladies may be more choosy. I bet there are very few cases where an Asian woman is rejected on the grounds of her race. "

NA I don’t think the blokes will shag anything comment stands true.

Because I certainly will not, there has to be an attraction for me or it’s not never going to work.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No Blacks or No Asians ,used to be a sign post outside public buildings during colonial era , which becomes very sensitive to both races , especially if it comes from a Caucasian profile .

We do understand the preference issue but could rephrase it .

Rather than saying No Asians ,you can mention your preference like " Caucasian preferred"

It would be more positive .

In our case , hubby is exclusively ignored many times . We get replies as

" We don't mind playing with you but not with your husband "

Or " I like you but my wife won't play with your husband "

I think somewhere people shud start being sensitive towards others too when they write such things.

Rest " we don't care what people write as it exposes them and not us"

Maybe it’s just because they don’t fancy your hubby? I think it’s quite common amongst all races for the female to be preferred and the male to be a bit of a “letdown”.

We have deffo seen couples of all races where we have thought the female is attractive and the guy not. We’ve also had that same situation back to us as well.

I think often it’s just the fact that blokes will shag anything whereas ladies may be more choosy. I bet there are very few cases where an Asian woman is rejected on the grounds of her race. "

See, "fancy" and 'preference" are two words conveniently used on Fab.

We don't buy that bs but as I say we don't care .

My hubby looks million times better than some blue eyes blondes here and is fit for his age . But we don't take it personally anymore .

We just move on and wait for the right ppl. We won't like cpls who would take one for the team.

By the way, people have told us without looking at our face pics that they don't want to play with my hubby.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My simple point is ,if you don't like certain things then you mention it positively rather than sounding it racist.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's my moral responsibility (and legal obligation) to treat all people with respect. It's not my moral responsibility to have sex with them, so it's OK to have preferences.

By the same token, I personally think it can be read as really disrespectful to state those negative preferences.

I agree, OP, that some profiles are tinged with prejudice. Perhaps it could be advice in site FAQs that this should be avoided.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with this as it is clear and no PC

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By *oobaaMan
over a year ago

South Shields

It will offend those who want to be offended.

If I see a profile that states "Black guys only", I simply move on. I dont think they are racist or anything else...its up to them what they do , not me.

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By *aughtycp1Couple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

This is a swinging site based around sex. If people are not allowed to state their sexual preferences on their public profile then they are just wasting some peoples time. There is nothing racist about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Simple fix, just write what you like, not what you don't like. Far more positive, likely to be more productive as a profile.

And if people are still offended they are the type of people your not going to have fun with anyhow.

Refraining from words like 'only' as tbh you could be limiting yourself on having an awesome experience.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *anshee99Woman
over a year ago

all over

Discrimination vs personal choice...

In this world of physical attraction, we can pick and chose what we want.

No men, no short people, no beards or tattoos.

Its all the same. We are all being discriminated against on someone's profile im sure.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Simple fix, just write what you like, not what you don't like. Far more positive, likely to be more productive as a profile.

And if people are still offended they are the type of people your not going to have fun with anyhow.

Refraining from words like 'only' as tbh you could be limiting yourself on having an awesome experience.

"

Precisely my point .

Just be positive.

Some people have too many Nos and Ifs on their profile. We won't meet such fussy ppl for sure.

No Asians/ Blacks have been so much stereotyped that ,profiles are mentioning as if it's so normal.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *he Ring WraithMan
over a year ago

Bradford

For me the bottom line is 'sexy is sexy' whatever age, race; class; colour or nationality.

Does that make me 'easy'; 'desperate' or just tolerant; I will leave you all to judge, not that I care either way ! It is what I am and what I am needs no excuses ! (knicking the words of an old song which people of a certain age may get).

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By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton


"No Blacks or No Asians ,used to be a sign post outside public buildings during colonial era , which becomes very sensitive to both races , especially if it comes from a Caucasian profile .

We do understand the preference issue but could rephrase it .

Rather than saying No Asians ,you can mention your preference like " Caucasian preferred"

It would be more positive .

In our case , hubby is exclusively ignored many times . We get replies as

" We don't mind playing with you but not with your husband "

Or " I like you but my wife won't play with your husband "

I think somewhere people shud start being sensitive towards others too when they write such things.

Rest " we don't care what people write as it exposes them and not us"

Maybe it’s just because they don’t fancy your hubby? I think it’s quite common amongst all races for the female to be preferred and the male to be a bit of a “letdown”.

We have deffo seen couples of all races where we have thought the female is attractive and the guy not. We’ve also had that same situation back to us as well.

I think often it’s just the fact that blokes will shag anything whereas ladies may be more choosy. I bet there are very few cases where an Asian woman is rejected on the grounds of her race.

See, "fancy" and 'preference" are two words conveniently used on Fab.

We don't buy that bs but as I say we don't care .

My hubby looks million times better than some blue eyes blondes here and is fit for his age . But we don't take it personally anymore .

We just move on and wait for the right ppl. We won't like cpls who would take one for the team.

By the way, people have told us without looking at our face pics that they don't want to play with my hubby.

"

. I have read and participate in threads where single Asian guys have felt they are not wanted but reading your post that couples are not interested in playing with your husband without even looking at his pictures is just crazy to me.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No Blacks or No Asians ,used to be a sign post outside public buildings during colonial era , which becomes very sensitive to both races , especially if it comes from a Caucasian profile .

We do understand the preference issue but could rephrase it .

Rather than saying No Asians ,you can mention your preference like " Caucasian preferred"

It would be more positive .

In our case , hubby is exclusively ignored many times . We get replies as

" We don't mind playing with you but not with your husband "

Or " I like you but my wife won't play with your husband "

I think somewhere people shud start being sensitive towards others too when they write such things.

Rest " we don't care what people write as it exposes them and not us"

Maybe it’s just because they don’t fancy your hubby? I think it’s quite common amongst all races for the female to be preferred and the male to be a bit of a “letdown”.

We have deffo seen couples of all races where we have thought the female is attractive and the guy not. We’ve also had that same situation back to us as well.

I think often it’s just the fact that blokes will shag anything whereas ladies may be more choosy. I bet there are very few cases where an Asian woman is rejected on the grounds of her race.

See, "fancy" and 'preference" are two words conveniently used on Fab.

We don't buy that bs but as I say we don't care .

My hubby looks million times better than some blue eyes blondes here and is fit for his age . But we don't take it personally anymore .

We just move on and wait for the right ppl. We won't like cpls who would take one for the team.

By the way, people have told us without looking at our face pics that they don't want to play with my hubby.

"

Because they are racist. I'm sorry you experience that.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People have the right to choose , why is this so hard to understand

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By *armandwet50Couple
over a year ago

Far far away


"

My hubby looks million times better than some blue eyes blondes here and is fit for his age. But we don't take it personally anymore. "

Is that not a preference? You think he is a "million times better" not everyone will. I wouldn't be allowed even near the bar some swingers drink at......I'm fat....... the last of the allow discrimination's, but my wife loves me and we understand people are allowed to make choices so long as they do not call names and say derogatory things, it's a choice or a preference.

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By *9alMan
over a year ago

Bridgend

perhaps we should start putting no racists on our profiles? locality sexual interests gender & any number of other things are more important than race when trying to arrange a meet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If someone has the time & inclination to state definitively on their profile that they aren't attracted to or looking for Black/Asian men then I consider it their loss & move on.

Honestly saves me the trouble of wasting my time & theirs if I was previously interested in their profile & thinking about introducing myself.

Usually block them as well just in case I stumble on an update weeks later & realise it's the same profile.

Nothing malicious about it; course when you spot it on a profile it can put you on your heels a little to see especially when you are genuinely interested in someone rather than just browsing but then there's plenty of other people out there so why get so stressed about one.

Happy fabbing people!!

xx"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It seems odd to me, but just ignore it and move on. I've seen plenty of the exact opposite; "no white guys". Doesn't phase me in the slightest.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL


"No Blacks or No Asians ,used to be a sign post outside public buildings during colonial era , which becomes very sensitive to both races , especially if it comes from a Caucasian profile .

We do understand the preference issue but could rephrase it .

Rather than saying No Asians ,you can mention your preference like " Caucasian preferred"

It would be more positive .

In our case , hubby is exclusively ignored many times . We get replies as

" We don't mind playing with you but not with your husband "

Or " I like you but my wife won't play with your husband "

I think somewhere people shud start being sensitive towards others too when they write such things.

Rest " we don't care what people write as it exposes them and not us"

"

Unfortunately, the minute you use the word 'preferred' this will be taken as a green light to try to get you to change your mind and having to justify your reasons. This is why my profile is in its current form with yes and no answers. I get a lot less messages this way, coupled with heavy filters.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL


" People have the right to choose , why is this so hard to understand "

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By *anenkam OP   Couple
over a year ago

manchester


"It's my moral responsibility (and legal obligation) to treat all people with respect. It's not my moral responsibility to have sex with them, so it's OK to have preferences.

By the same token, I personally think it can be read as really disrespectful to state those negative preferences.

I agree, OP, that some profiles are tinged with prejudice. Perhaps it could be advice in site FAQs that this should be avoided. "

Thank you Sapiophile, glad to see you appreciate the point we're making. It's time to ditch what could easily be perceived as hate and unfortunately often disguised or couched in terms of preference. By all means, express your positive preferences but if your negative one's are discriminatory then keep them to yourselves. The world doesn't need to know and you no-one is forcing you to meet/shag someone you don't fancy.

The same often goes for freedom of speech where that excuse is often used as a license for extolling racist ideals.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is not so many years ago there were signs in shops saying 'no blacks, no Asians, no dogs'. I think, even here, it is fair to say most people find that inherently racist.

Why can the link not be seen.

To automatically exclude a whole race of people with no exploration of an individuals unique characteristics is prejudiced if people prefer that word.

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By *nB23Man
over a year ago

London


"It is not so many years ago there were signs in shops saying 'no blacks, no Asians, no dogs'. I think, even here, it is fair to say most people find that inherently racist.

Why can the link not be seen.

To automatically exclude a whole race of people with no exploration of an individuals unique characteristics is prejudiced if people prefer that word.

"

I agree with some of your points. We all have an implicit bias. What some people don't realise is that the standard of beauty that we've all been taught is that European features and lighter skin are the pinacle of beauty. So you'll tend to find most people will have a preference for white or lighter partners. This is reflected in many studies of the impact of race in dating sites.

However, it doesn't necessarily mean a person has a racist outlook. It could be an attraction to certain features.

I do agree though you will undoubtedly find many racists who will hide behind it's just a preference excuse. But such is life in a free society.

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By *artyanna16200TV/TS
over a year ago

leeds

I enjoy role play and scenarios involving submission and mild humiation , such as spanking, exhibtionism and being offered to others , these are attributes of a dom bi person or couple , but they arent exclusive or necessary to accept meeting , i will use my judgement in deciding , not a proforma list of prejudices and petty minded discrimination , ie , no one with ankylosing spondilitis, no freckly fuckers , def no spam eaters over 75 .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The terms "No black or Asians" comes across as racist. Put yourself in the shoes of someone who's suffered racism all their lives and try and understand why those words would be hurtful.

I'd say the same thing for "No whites". In fact I'd be saddened by anyone who took the time to write those words on their profile to exclude an entire race from contacting them.

I also think putting anything like "No curvy women" or "No short men" is just a little insensitive/rude. Yes we all have our preferences but surely there are ways to get across what we're after without making other's feel excluded.

I don't see any harm in having preferences. I don't think preferences make people racist. But there are FAR better ways to let people know your preferences in your profile text...

"I'm purely looking to meet white guys"

"I'm attracted to slim/athletic ladies"

"Looking to meet gents within my age range"

Stating what you're looking for on your profile rather than ranting about what you're not looking for is perhaps a little more sensitive when you're wanting to filter out or exclude people due to your preferences.

Say you're looking purely for white guys and an Asian guy messages. "Sorry, you're not what I'm looking for/not my type" is far kinder than "I don't meet Asians". Same goes if someone with a "Fabulous" body type messages and you've stated that your preference is "Athletic". There's really no need to focus on their race or body type as a reason for not meeting them.

There are many reasons why I wouldn't want to meet someone. For example, I'm teetotal so I'd rather not meet with someone who drinks heavily. That's my preference. There's no reason for me to focus on telling them that though. Or tell them "I'd rather not meet you because you drink". It's as if I'd be putting them down because they do something perfectly reasonable that I have a preference to avoid.

In a very long winded way, I guess I'm just saying that there are kinder ways to air your preferences

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By *orseydaveMan
over a year ago

Norwich NR5

An interesting point, personally I believe society is not changing, but instead making us all frightened of having an opinion. It was interesting to note two newspaper articles printed last Monday.

Anthony Joshua mingling with thousands, and nothing said, 71yo white woman arrested for holding garden party with three of her friends.

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By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton

When my parents married and were looking to rent a room there were signs in the shop windows or boarding houses containing the words No Blacks , No Asians , No Foreigners , No Irish , No Dogs , No Pregnant Women that was in the late 60’s and that was deemed as acceptable.Now just over 50 years later would these words be acceptable probably not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When my parents married and were looking to rent a room there were signs in the shop windows or boarding houses containing the words No Blacks , No Asians , No Foreigners , No Irish , No Dogs , No Pregnant Women that was in the late 60’s and that was deemed as acceptable.Now just over 50 years later would these words be acceptable probably not."

That's exactly what I meant.

Why not rephrase it which may sound positive . It would sound less racist if they mention

Caucasians only

Or bbc only

Asians only

But I think some people get touchy about it and try to digress the whole issue to preferences and choices rather than term itself.

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By *REEPALESTINEMan
over a year ago

derby

Definitely not racist everyone is entitled to their own preferences

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To say it’s racist is ridiculous.

Many white women are only attracted to black men, that doesn’t suddenly mean they hate their own race.

I am attracted to men of all races but have a preference for white men which I state politely on my profile, that doesn’t mean I suddenly hate all my own black people or look at them as inferior.

Sexual preferences are completely different, they cannot be compared to job positions for example. I wouldn’t sleep with a 5ft man, but I’d happily be friends with one for example. Not being attracted to something doesn’t mean you hate it, or think of it as inferior which would be racism. "

Great post and amazing profile x

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By *aribbeanNicMan
over a year ago

Harlow


"..... Is it acceptable to state that in your profile or should this be considered racist and against this site's acceptable use policy? Would we get away with stating no handicapped people? We all have preferences and there's no problem with that but we suspect some state this deliberately to make a statement. It's not needed and insensitive in our opinion. "

Thank you for raising this issue as it makes me feel like this is not a place for me, everyone is unique but seeing profiles that state only looking for a particular ethnicity can be seen as every other being undesirable or just inferior, I am not inferior to nobody and based on users experiences, people should not be tarred with the same brush

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By *ffanotdykeCouple
over a year ago

Telford

With us its very simple. We do not find non-europeans physically attractive. So why should we be forced to indulge the most private of scenarios with people we are not attracted to just for the sake of political correctness.

If approached we say politely but firmly "no thank you".

Perfectly happy to chat to all and sundry but when it comes down to the physical side our preferences apply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Young Asian males are in most cases more handsome then causican men

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Young Asian males are in most cases more handsome then causican men "

Surely you mean

"In some cases,some young Asian males are more handsome than some causican males"

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By *otfabcouple2017Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

People are just looking to be offended imo.

Whether you write "Whites only" or "No black/Asian" its the same thing, granted there's always ways to dress these things up a little, but I don't see the need.

We can't force people into sex with people they don't want just because it fits a politically correct worldview.

Its the same thinking that if you don't want to sleep with a trans person you must be transphobic.

It just seems like trying shame people into sex they don't want.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stating preferences with the type of people you would like to meet is fine. In fact it would prevent time wasting from someone contacting you who doesn't fit the bill!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh god is this thread still running only two words " Peoples choice" respect them

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By *lorious hole bs16Man
over a year ago

Bristol


"When my parents married and were looking to rent a room there were signs in the shop windows or boarding houses containing the words No Blacks , No Asians , No Foreigners , No Irish , No Dogs , No Pregnant Women that was in the late 60’s and that was deemed as acceptable.Now just over 50 years later would these words be acceptable probably not."

Not to forget, No Gypsies and No Queers...( Yes really)

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By *picyrodMan
over a year ago

liverpool


"To say it’s racist is ridiculous.

Many white women are only attracted to black men, that doesn’t suddenly mean they hate their own race.

I am attracted to men of all races but have a preference for white men which I state politely on my profile, that doesn’t mean I suddenly hate all my own black people or look at them as inferior.

Sexual preferences are completely different, they cannot be compared to job positions for example. I wouldn’t sleep with a 5ft man, but I’d happily be friends with one for example. Not being attracted to something doesn’t mean you hate it, or think of it as inferior which would be racism.

Great post and amazing profile x"

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By *picyrodMan
over a year ago

liverpool

At the end of the day we are all human black white brown yellow it's only a skin colour

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