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I’d fuck you but…..

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By *liny OP   Man
23 weeks ago

Manchester/London

The last one filled up quicker than a portaloo at a festival.

Remember keep the comments polite, humorous and nonjudgmental

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

You’re not looking for TVs

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By *rsMxCouple
23 weeks ago

Glasgow


"You’re not looking for TVs "

but....i'd be scared you had sexier heels than i do

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By *helamontsCouple
23 weeks ago

Annan

Sorry to busy watching TV here ...

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By *icochetUKMan
23 weeks ago

Fareham

I'd miss the last train home.

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By *quirrel!Man
23 weeks ago

Ilford


"Sorry to busy watching TV here ... "

How you watch TV in that position I do not know!

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By *earditallWoman
23 weeks ago

Lancaster


"Sorry to busy watching TV here ...

How you watch TV in that position I do not know! "

His willy has been bonked off

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By *liny OP   Man
23 weeks ago

Manchester/London

I don’t do clubs

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By *infullyObedientWoman
23 weeks ago

Woodley

Im a bit ties up at the min

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By *eeper ThanMan
23 weeks ago

Dartford

I’m not that good at undoing knots

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By *ustus5555Woman
23 weeks ago

Nottingham

He's far to deep for me

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By *ixyduoCouple
23 weeks ago

Cheshire ish

We don't know enough about ropes yet

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

I'm not allowed within 200 metres of you

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By *icochetUKMan
23 weeks ago

Fareham

...but you would ruin me for anyone else

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago


"You’re not looking for TVs

but....i'd be scared you had sexier heels than i do "

I might have

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By *heffield BikerMan
23 weeks ago

Sheffield

I dont want to break you

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By *infullyObedientWoman
23 weeks ago

Woodley

I dont want to be broken 😲

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

Don’t know where to start

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By *icochetUKMan
23 weeks ago

Fareham

I left my nipple clamps in my other jacket.

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By *quirrel!Man
23 weeks ago

Ilford

Start at the end!

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago


"Start at the end! "

Your riddles had me confused

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By *inxy777Woman
23 weeks ago

essex

I’m more confused

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By *eaSlutsCouple
23 weeks ago

Glasgow


"I’m more confused "
Tinsel gets itchy

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By *ucaba74Man
23 weeks ago

Walsall Wood


"Start at the end! "

If you wanna do it backwards ...

You can leave now.

That was great.

I'm getting there ...

grunt, grunt, grunt!

etc. etc. ...

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By *ucaba74Man
23 weeks ago

Walsall Wood

[Removed by poster at 12/12/25 22:57:33]

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By *ustus5555Woman
23 weeks ago

Nottingham

Doesn't know what they want

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By *eroLondonMan
23 weeks ago

Mayfair

...she only meets in clubs.

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By *gincourt_againMan
23 weeks ago

in the shadows of a mountain


"...she only meets in clubs. "

Still London

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By *la207Man
23 weeks ago

Edinburgh

....you didn't give a chance

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By *ixyduoCouple
23 weeks ago

Cheshire ish

Edinburgh is too cold in the winter

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By *hicknCut01Man
23 weeks ago

Wakefield


"Edinburgh is too cold in the winter"

Your not looking for me, unfortunately

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By *orkhdmMan
23 weeks ago

Huddersfield

I may be blinded by the sparkling hot pants!

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago


"I may be blinded by the sparkling hot pants! "

He has been sparkled

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By *hicknCut01Man
23 weeks ago

Wakefield

I'd fuck you but.......absolutely nothing

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago


"I'd fuck you but.......absolutely nothing "

Your buffness is causing me performance anxiety

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By *spenfallsMan
23 weeks ago

Northampton

I'd fuck you but... I'm not actually in government.

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By *ustincider888Man
23 weeks ago

Chorley

I'm straight straight not fab straight

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By *aptain Caveman41Man
23 weeks ago

Home


"I'm straight straight not fab straight "
I'm straight

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By *hicknCut01Man
23 weeks ago

Wakefield


"I'm straight straight not fab straight I'm straight "

I'd fuck but..... your a man

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago


"I'm straight straight not fab straight I'm straight "

Your eyes are staring straight into my soul

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By *dlim23Man
23 weeks ago

Limerick


"I may be blinded by the sparkling hot pants!

He has been sparkled "

Id fuck you but you're not here,

And if you were you'd probably say no

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By *infullyObedientWoman
23 weeks ago

Woodley

You're too far away

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By *un biguyMan
23 weeks ago

belfast


"You're too far away"

She has slinked into the shadows

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By *hinstrapMan
23 weeks ago

sheffield

Still in bed hibernating

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

I'm eating breakfast

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By *inxy777Woman
23 weeks ago

essex

He’s busy x

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By *eroLondonMan
23 weeks ago

Mayfair

I'm not busy.

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By *inxy777Woman
23 weeks ago

essex

There is no but x

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By *lasmaxMan
23 weeks ago

Watford

But I might distract you from the forums

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By *ace400Man
23 weeks ago

near knock

Too busy reading forums

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By *horskin!Man
23 weeks ago

you

You wont let me

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By *earditallWoman
23 weeks ago

Lancaster

That teddy mask is terrifying

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By *hicknCut01Man
23 weeks ago

Wakefield

[Removed by poster at 13/12/25 10:04:08]

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By *hinstrapMan
23 weeks ago

sheffield

.... But I'm blocked

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
23 weeks ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"[Removed by poster at 13/12/25 10:04:08]"

He was an extra in Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. He played one of the animals

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By *pankingNorfolkCouple
23 weeks ago

Norwich ish


"[Removed by poster at 13/12/25 10:04:08]

He was an extra in Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. He played one of the animals "

I can’t match the lamppost

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By *KBIMALE2025Man
23 weeks ago

Wednesfield, Wolverhampton

U seem a bit tied up at the mom6

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By *infullyObedientWoman
23 weeks ago

Woodley

I need to wash my goldfish

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By *ashedMan
23 weeks ago

hemel

But nothing x i would just fuck you

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By *inxy777Woman
23 weeks ago

essex

I’m washing my hair x

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By *earditallWoman
23 weeks ago

Lancaster

Shes straight

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By *hinstrapMan
23 weeks ago

sheffield

...but she's heard it all before

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By *impleSailorMan
23 weeks ago

the moon

I'm straight

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By *inxy777Woman
23 weeks ago

essex

He’s too sexy! x

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By *teve1867Man
23 weeks ago

wirral

You would turn me down in a flash x

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By *olvesxcoupleCouple
23 weeks ago

Round the bend


"You would turn me down in a flash x"

He's after a flash

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By *teve1867Man
23 weeks ago

wirral

Wouldn't say no from either of you x

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
23 weeks ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"Wouldn't say no from either of you x"

He keeps singing the theme to Danger Mouse, like it's some kind of verbal tic

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By *earditallWoman
23 weeks ago

Lancaster

Her boobs put mine to shame

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By *oodmessMan
23 weeks ago

yumsville

It's a toss up between boobs and this lotion but I'm choosing this lotion

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By *ustus5555Woman
23 weeks ago

Nottingham

He makes too much mess 🤷

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By *as0046Man
23 weeks ago

Stourbridge

She makes too much mess 🤷🏻‍♂️

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By *olvesxcoupleCouple
23 weeks ago

Round the bend


"She makes too much mess 🤷🏻‍♂️"

He lives too close and might come back for more

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By *as0046Man
23 weeks ago

Stourbridge


"She makes too much mess 🤷🏻‍♂️

He lives too close and might come back for more "

She lives to close and always wants more 😏

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By *earditallWoman
23 weeks ago

Lancaster

He lives too far

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By *oodmessMan
23 weeks ago

yumsville

She keeps writing something just as I have written something about someone else!

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By *infullyObedientWoman
23 weeks ago

Woodley

She doesn't have the equipment required

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By *oodmessMan
23 weeks ago

yumsville

He looks a bit wet behind the ears

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By *liny OP   Man
23 weeks ago

Manchester/London

He has an ear fetish

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By *ittlebirdWoman
23 weeks ago

The Big Smoke

He’s not in London this weekend 🤷‍♂️

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By *ob_1984Man
23 weeks ago

Newcastle

I'm not in London this weekend

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By *impleSailorMan
23 weeks ago

the moon

Not my type

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By *inxy777Woman
23 weeks ago

essex

Too green for me

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By *ing49Man
23 weeks ago

cambs

Id fuck you....and there's no buts

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By *as0046Man
23 weeks ago

Stourbridge

I would but you haven’t change your bed sheets in six months

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By *infullyObedientWoman
23 weeks ago

Woodley

He only fucks in a bed

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago


"He only fucks in a bed "

I’d be too busy sucking those tits

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
23 weeks ago

Manchester(ish).

I'm digesting a sausage.

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By *att71Man
23 weeks ago

The Railway Town - North Wilts


"I'm digesting a sausage. "

I'm too busy watching a sausage being digested lol

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By *infullyObedientWoman
23 weeks ago

Woodley

I want to join the sausage digesting fun!

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By *heshladMan
23 weeks ago

cheshire

Sausage ready for digesting here 😂

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *as0046Man
23 weeks ago

Stourbridge


"I want to join the sausage digesting fun!"

Too busy shopping for sausages

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By *inxy777Woman
23 weeks ago

essex

Way to many sausages

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By *ustus5555Woman
23 weeks ago

Nottingham

She's vegan

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By *as0046Man
23 weeks ago

Stourbridge


"She's vegan "

Corn sausages 🤷🏻‍♂️

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By *att71Man
23 weeks ago

The Railway Town - North Wilts

I'm vegetarian lol

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
23 weeks ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"I'm vegetarian lol "

He was Jason King's stunt double

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By *gincourt_againMan
23 weeks ago

in the shadows of a mountain


"I'm vegetarian lol

He was Jason King's stunt double "

She’s like a weeble

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By *ustus5555Woman
23 weeks ago

Nottingham

He lives in the past

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

[Removed by poster at 13/12/25 17:13:05]

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago


"He lives in the past "

I've just had a shower and don't want to get filthy again

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By *infullyObedientWoman
23 weeks ago

Woodley

He doesnt want to get filthy 😇

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inxy777Woman
23 weeks ago

essex

[Removed by poster at 13/12/25 17:13:58]

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ilkey69Man
23 weeks ago

Barnsley

That tinsel woukd tickle my nose

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By *olvesxcoupleCouple
23 weeks ago

Round the bend


"That tinsel woukd tickle my nose"

The piercing made my eyes water

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By *gincourt_againMan
23 weeks ago

in the shadows of a mountain


"That tinsel woukd tickle my nose

The piercing made my eyes water "

That wasn’t a piercing

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ure Seduction69Couple
23 weeks ago

Barnsley

Need something to work with

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By *aven RedWoman
23 weeks ago

who knows, but it's not raining x


"Need something to work with "

I have cramp in my legs x

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By *ldmagic4uMan
23 weeks ago

nailsea

I'm of on holiday in the morning

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By *ominantWhisperMan
23 weeks ago

South Wales

I’m a bit tired

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inxy777Woman
23 weeks ago

essex

He’s got no stamina

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By *infullyObedientWoman
23 weeks ago

Woodley

Too short for me and no cock 😛

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By *erdyGuy42Man
23 weeks ago

Ask


"Too short for me and no cock 😛"

You’re way out of my league

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By *hicknCut01Man
23 weeks ago

Wakefield

I'm totally straight

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By *impleSailorMan
23 weeks ago

the moon

I'm straight, not Fab straight

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By *as0046Man
23 weeks ago

Stourbridge

He tried to ruin Christmas 🫢

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *teve691000Man
23 weeks ago

West Midlands

The grinch just bit my cock off

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By *as0046Man
23 weeks ago

Stourbridge


"The grinch just bit my cock off"

He’s a mean one ☹️

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

But what would your wife say?? 🤪

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By *infullyObedientWoman
23 weeks ago

Woodley

His wife wouldn't let him

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By *eroLondonMan
23 weeks ago

Mayfair

I'm too obedient.

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By *aphunterMan
23 weeks ago

horsham


"His wife wouldn't let him"

She’s too naughty

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By *gincourt_againMan
23 weeks ago

in the shadows of a mountain


"His wife wouldn't let him

She’s too naughty"

I don’t have baps

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By *tannersMan
23 weeks ago

stanley


"His wife wouldn't let him

She’s too naughty

I don’t have baps"

Can’t remember all of the words of the speech from Henry V🤷‍♂️

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By *aphunterMan
23 weeks ago

horsham

I’m looking for sunseekers

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By *inxy777Woman
23 weeks ago

essex

I like the cold x

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago


"I like the cold x"

No buts... I just would

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By *pankingNorfolkCouple
23 weeks ago

Norwich ish


"I like the cold x"

We’d get tinselitis

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
23 weeks ago

Manchester(ish).

I'm under a blanket.

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By *aven RedWoman
23 weeks ago

who knows, but it's not raining x


"I'm under a blanket. "

I'm trying to find her x

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By *b1980Man
23 weeks ago

Burnley

Im not that lucky

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

[Removed by poster at 13/12/25 20:27:57]

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago


"Im not that lucky "

He's too cocky 😉

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By *aptain Caveman41Man
23 weeks ago

Home

I'm watching darts 🎯

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By *inxy777Woman
23 weeks ago

essex


"Im not that lucky

He's too cocky 😉"

No buts , I would

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By *winfrozrMan
23 weeks ago

Angus

Essex is too far to walk

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By *earditallWoman
23 weeks ago

Lancaster

Scotland is too cold

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By *aphunterMan
23 weeks ago

horsham


"Scotland is too cold"

I’m too busy collecting firewood 😘

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By *olvesxcoupleCouple
23 weeks ago

Round the bend


"Scotland is too cold

I’m too busy collecting firewood 😘"

Not the kinda wood I'm after

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By *aphunterMan
23 weeks ago

horsham


"Scotland is too cold

I’m too busy collecting firewood 😘

Not the kinda wood I'm after "

Your wood specification is making me too hot!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *b1980Man
23 weeks ago

Burnley


"Im not that lucky

He's too cocky 😉

No buts , I would "

thank you

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *infullyObedientWoman
23 weeks ago

Woodley

Hes already pulled

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By *D666KellyTV/TS
23 weeks ago

drogheda


"Hes already pulled "

I'd have to spank you first

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By *aptain Caveman41Man
23 weeks ago

Home


"Hes already pulled

I'd have to spank you first "

too late to drive to Dublin

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By *gincourt_againMan
23 weeks ago

in the shadows of a mountain


"Hes already pulled

I'd have to spank you first too late to drive to Dublin "

Don’t do authorities

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By *olvesxcoupleCouple
23 weeks ago

Round the bend


"Hes already pulled

I'd have to spank you first too late to drive to Dublin

Don’t do authorities "

He's hiding in the shadows

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By *aphunterMan
23 weeks ago

horsham


"Hes already pulled

I'd have to spank you first too late to drive to Dublin

Don’t do authorities

He's hiding in the shadows "

They are looking into the darkness 😆

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By *olvesxcoupleCouple
23 weeks ago

Round the bend


"Hes already pulled

I'd have to spank you first too late to drive to Dublin

Don’t do authorities

He's hiding in the shadows

They are looking into the darkness 😆"

He doesn't want to come to the dark side

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *aphunterMan
23 weeks ago

horsham


"Hes already pulled

I'd have to spank you first too late to drive to Dublin

Don’t do authorities

He's hiding in the shadows

They are looking into the darkness 😆

He doesn't want to come to the dark side "

I’ve already got my darth outfit on 🤣🤣🤣🤣

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *aptain Caveman41Man
23 weeks ago

Home


"Hes already pulled

I'd have to spank you first too late to drive to Dublin

Don’t do authorities

He's hiding in the shadows

They are looking into the darkness 😆

He doesn't want to come to the dark side "

I'm on the wrong side of the Irish sea

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *olvesxcoupleCouple
23 weeks ago

Round the bend


"Hes already pulled

I'd have to spank you first too late to drive to Dublin

Don’t do authorities

He's hiding in the shadows

They are looking into the darkness 😆

He doesn't want to come to the dark side

I’ve already got my darth outfit on 🤣🤣🤣🤣"

Kinky 🤪🤣🤣🤣

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *winfrozrMan
23 weeks ago

Angus


"Hes already pulled

I'd have to spank you first too late to drive to Dublin

Don’t do authorities

He's hiding in the shadows

They are looking into the darkness 😆

He doesn't want to come to the dark side

I’ve already got my darth outfit on 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Kinky 🤪🤣🤣🤣"

I’d have to do both of you

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By *liny OP   Man
23 weeks ago

Manchester/London

He’s got his hands full with 2 others

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By *infullyObedientWoman
23 weeks ago

Woodley


"He’s got his hands full with 2 others "

He's too busy with undersized rings 😛

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By *ustus5555Woman
23 weeks ago

Nottingham

She just won't obey

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By *quirrel!Man
23 weeks ago

Ilford

There’s some hiatus going on!

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By *axmanMan
23 weeks ago

halifax


"She just won't obey "
I'm too far away boo hoo

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By *olvesxcoupleCouple
23 weeks ago

Round the bend


"She just won't obey I'm too far away boo hoo "

I thought his username was the tax man

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By *b1980Man
23 weeks ago

Burnley

No reason not to

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
23 weeks ago

Manchester(ish).

I'm going to bed.

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By *eroLondonMan
23 weeks ago

Mayfair

....you would be a hard habit to break.

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By *ustus5555Woman
23 weeks ago

Nottingham

I always go for park Lane 1st 🤷

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By *tyoursecretserviceMan
23 weeks ago

his Birthday suit x

Your in the middle east.....oh read that wrong, easy Midlands is still too far x

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

Your mustache would tickle me

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By *eroLondonMan
23 weeks ago

Mayfair

....it would ruin a lovely friendship with this fine fellow.

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago


"....it would ruin a lovely friendship with this fine fellow."

I think it’d be too tight 🍩

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By *aptain Caveman41Man
22 weeks ago

Home


"....it would ruin a lovely friendship with this fine fellow.

I think it’d be too tight 🍩 "

I'm too far away

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By *aphunterMan
22 weeks ago

horsham

I’m into baps

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By *hicknCut01Man
22 weeks ago

Wakefield


"I’m into baps"

Not into chaps

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By *arcuszMan
22 weeks ago

Horsham


"I’m into baps

Not into chaps "

I'd make you shit wrong for a week.

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago


"I’m into baps

Not into chaps

I'd make you shit wrong for a week. "

I’ve run out of viagra

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By *b1980Man
22 weeks ago

Burnley

Too big for me

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *liny OP   Man
22 weeks ago

Manchester/London


"Too big for me"

I’m too big for him

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By *exysoul888TV/TS
22 weeks ago

Newcastle


"Too big for me

I’m too big for him "

He can't decide between Manchester and Liverpool

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By *D666KellyTV/TS
22 weeks ago

drogheda


"Too big for me

I’m too big for him

He can't decide between Manchester and Liverpool "

I'd be busy dressing with you.

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By *londeAndBubblyKate7Woman
22 weeks ago

near the river medway

You not Yungblud

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