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Doris and Ethel's Adventures #18

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By *ce Winger OP   Man
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ


""so they all buggered off to a pub in Bethlehem and....."

Asked Dave if he would pull them a..."

A pint of Sherry and some Jaeger bombs....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ce Winger OP   Man
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Meanwhile Al Murray was waiting for Ethel to....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Cook the pasta

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *mma_EvansTV/TS
over a year ago

Colchester


"Cook the pasta "

But Ethel was too busy using her magic...

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By *ce Winger OP   Man
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

cards to cast a spell on....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *mma_EvansTV/TS
over a year ago

Colchester


"cards to cast a spell on...."

Salvador, because Salvador had stolen her...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Teeth

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *mma_EvansTV/TS
over a year ago

Colchester


"Teeth"

Knowing Ethel did something special when Ethel was gummy, Dave came along and asked Ethel to...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Light the fire

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *mma_EvansTV/TS
over a year ago

Colchester


"

Light the fire"

So using her toothless mouth to blow on the fire, Ethel huffed and puffed like a...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Wind chime that

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By *mma_EvansTV/TS
over a year ago

Colchester


"Wind chime that"

That was being blown gently in the wind. This evening though the wind wasn't gentle, it was whooshing and gushing just like...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Holly the hippopotamus

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Who let out an almighty fart

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

That shook the village of

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Hamelin and all the rats came pouring out heading towards

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

King dings castle

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

He pulled up the drawbridge and into the moat released the crocodiles who started to ...

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Break dance to drakes new song

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ce Winger OP   Man
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

which was a cover version of There Once Was An Ugly Duckling, then suddenly....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *mma_EvansTV/TS
over a year ago

Colchester


"which was a cover version of There Once Was An Ugly Duckling, then suddenly...."

Ethel phoned Simon to ask him for an application form for...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

The new talent shows

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

This was all while 5he croc ate the rats

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

5he well what's that Ethel a new booster

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

No luv it’s just a little prick

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By *mma_EvansTV/TS
over a year ago

Colchester


"No luv it’s just a little prick"

And it was just a little prick that Ethel was...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Going to cook

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Are we having chips with that said doris

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *mma_EvansTV/TS
over a year ago

Colchester


"Are we having chips with that said doris"

So Ethel went down to the shops to buy a new...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ce Winger OP   Man
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

apron with a picture of Gino on the front to remind of the time they....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Ate ginos arsehole

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

And totally regretted it

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

But she sniffed it again only to

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Find crusty bits round the edge and loved it

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Then the weather

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Got them wet

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *mma_EvansTV/TS
over a year ago

Colchester


"Got them wet"

Doris and Ethel thought, the wetter the better, so they stood next to each other and...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Farted to keep

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By *ce Winger OP   Man
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

their spirits up. Then Dave appeared with...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Brollys to keep them snuggled together

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By *ce Winger OP   Man
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

After it had stopped raining, Ethel suggested that they.....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Eat an iced ox

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ce Winger OP   Man
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

so they called Gino to help them out, but he was busy and they had to...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Have fried pigs in blankets instead

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Then go see the...

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By *ce Winger OP   Man
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

late screening at the local cinema, which turned out to be...

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Fred Gino and Gordon skinny dipping in Gran canaria

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

With Miss fiona from the local

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

What a sight that was for poor Doris and Ethel

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

So poor doris and Ethel started to eat some...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Popcorn before anyone else came in

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

They ate all the popcorn then began breakdanchng

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

While watching the film

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

The film that was called how to eat your mother in law

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Alive

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

And very saucy

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

With cherries on top

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Well it is Christmas said Ethel

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

So let’s just leave this bloody crap film and go do what we always do at xmas

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Yeah eat hug and sleep said

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ce Winger OP   Man
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Doris, but on the way home, we'll pick up a couple of bottles of...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Cider and pour it all over our

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ce Winger OP   Man
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

pet squirrel, who liked the taste and became....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

A quivering wreck then

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ce Winger OP   Man
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

got an audition on....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

The b factor with

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ce Winger OP   Man
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Penelope Keith and Clint Eastwood, who were....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Just rehearsing for the full monty

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *mma_EvansTV/TS
over a year ago

Colchester

Penelope asked Doris and Ethel, if they would like to lob their...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Tits on the table for inspection

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *mma_EvansTV/TS
over a year ago

Colchester


"Tits on the table for inspection"

As soon as the tit inspector arrived, the table started to...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ce Winger OP   Man
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

creak under their weight, but Al Murray was back behind the bar now, and he said....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Just cover me up they’re putting me off my supper

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ce Winger OP   Man
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

which consisted of half a tin of Kite Kat and some....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *mma_EvansTV/TS
over a year ago

Colchester

Fishy smelling...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Sloppy stuff covered in garlic

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ce Winger OP   Man
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

When they'd finished that, Ethel's phone rang and it was...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *mma_EvansTV/TS
over a year ago

Colchester

Noel Edmunds asking if she...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Could,lend him a tenner

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *mma_EvansTV/TS
over a year ago

Colchester

So Ethel started rummaging in her...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Crusty laundry basket looking for..

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ce Winger OP   Man
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

her purse, but instead she found...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Doris' long lost half brother

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *mma_EvansTV/TS
over a year ago

Colchester

Who was in there sniffing...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Old Uncle Ernie

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *mma_EvansTV/TS
over a year ago

Colchester

Who used to work at the...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ce Winger OP   Man
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

local bingo hall, and his catchphrase was....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *mma_EvansTV/TS
over a year ago

Colchester

Come to the Bingo Hall, it smells of...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lavender,gin and desperation but ..

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It was closed because

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By *anowar777Man
over a year ago

Stevenage

Some twat nicked the gin, so.....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ce Winger OP   Man
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Doris went to the off licence to get a bottle of...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gordons but her tights fell down on the way..

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ce Winger OP   Man
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

to the shop, where she bumped into...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *anowar777Man
over a year ago

Stevenage

Gordon Ramsey who had s bottle of gin and.....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *mma_EvansTV/TS
over a year ago

Colchester

A hosepipe...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Protruding from his arse..

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Getting petrol pumped into it by......

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Vladimir Putin & the cast of Coronation Street who had just ....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Been woken up by....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A herd of migrating wildebeest on their way to...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Asda. They heard there was a deal on.....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gnu Potatoes and....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ce Winger OP   Man
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ


"Gnu Potatoes and...."

Gino D'Acampo's special treat, and he was wearing a...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gimp mask and a pair of rubber....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gloves primed with....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Strawberry blancmange & marmite, as recommended in .....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ce Winger OP   Man
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Ethel's Grandmother's cookbook, and she was getting kinda hungry so she...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ate the cookbook

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Which gave her chronic constipation, so Ethel had to ..

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quickly give her some epsom salts in Gin which...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Caused a fart that launched her into orbit where ...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ce Winger OP   Man
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

she met The Clangers who offered her some...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Soup, custard creams and a rampant rabbit which...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Made the durracell bunnie look like it was on valium..

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

But once back down In the real world

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *mma_EvansTV/TS
over a year ago

Colchester

Ethel put on her wooden clogs and started singing and dancing to...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How much is that doggy in the window, thrash metal version by Anthrax, with special guest

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ce Winger OP   Man
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Donny Osmond, who....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Was so amazed by Ethel's clog dancing that he....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ce Winger OP   Man
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

decided to put on his blue suede shoes and breakdance to...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Beethoven's 5th symphony, played by the Clangers on...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ce Winger OP   Man
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

a turntable that Ethel's mum used to listen to...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When she used to roadie for DJ Doris in....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Sunny ibiza

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Where they swallowed many pills and....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ce Winger OP   Man
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

ordered pints of Guinness during Happy Hour, but Al (the pub landlord) soon put a stop to their shenanigans and decided to...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Start singing the national anthem..

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ce Winger OP   Man
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

in Swahili, but they...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Put a stop to it by pelting him with dry roasted peanuts and....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *mma_EvansTV/TS
over a year ago

Colchester

The rugby team that were in the bar started to...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ce Winger OP   Man
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

notice that Ethel was flashing some...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/02/22 06:38:18]

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Morse code out of the window telling Doris to come quickly because.....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *mma_EvansTV/TS
over a year ago

Colchester

The coach was leaving to take them to the tinsel and turkey weekend in...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ce Winger OP   Man
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

John o' Groats, so before they went Ethel decided to...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Grab a kebab for the journey and.....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Grab a kebab for the journey and....."

a box of tissues in case of a mess, then…

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Climbed into the luggage compartment and...

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By *ce Winger OP   Man
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

found Jeremy Clarkson in there who was...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *mma_EvansTV/TS
over a year ago

Colchester

Eating pineapple cubes and...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Doris

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Asked if she could share some and she would share her kebab with him

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *mma_EvansTV/TS
over a year ago

Colchester

Just as Doris was hitching her dress up to stand on the seat, the coach suddenly...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jottled and she ended up..

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

With pineapple juice all down her legs

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Which made her remember her time with the man from Del Monte...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *mma_EvansTV/TS
over a year ago

Colchester

Then, Eric the lizard started to...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Transform into a huge.....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *mma_EvansTV/TS
over a year ago

Colchester

Inflatable banana, which then...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Rose into the sky leaving in it's wake.....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Adios said Ethel now leave us in peace while I get cleaned up

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only to be disturbed by UK border force who had discovered Ethel was a Spanish...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Waiter working in Torquay

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

[Removed by poster at 21/02/22 18:01:33]

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

But whatever happened to her mate doris

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Doris was arrested by Interpol for.....

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By *ce Winger OP   Man
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

smuggling Werther's Originals in her...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ears.

Danny Dyer said it was

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A proper cockney knees-up you slaaaaig, and whipped out his double barreled...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Egg timer which he threw at

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wellard, unfortunately it ricocheted off Queen Victoria, rebounded off Peggy's chest & caught Doris right between..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The launderette and Sonia

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By *ce Winger OP   Man
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

who was in the process of giving Dirty Den a sloppy BJ. Then in walked Ethel and said...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Has anyone seen my Willy, I need to...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cage the little beast.

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

But then again I’m suppose to be in Torquay so forget that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Que?" Said the waiter.

You.......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can see herds of wildebeest sweeping majestically across....

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By *ce Winger OP   Man
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Asda carpark, but they forgot that they had been there about a week ago, so they gave up being majestic and just...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got on the no. 73 bus back to...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dagenham where Doris and Ethel started out 3 weeks ago

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

I think we should just stay here together said ethel the people won’t get confused

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By *mma_EvansTV/TS
over a year ago

Colchester

But Doris wanted to carry on parting like she did in the 90's. So she packed her...

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By *ce Winger OP   Man
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Lightsaber back into her bra and asked the...

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By *mma_EvansTV/TS
over a year ago

Colchester

Uber driver to...

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