FabSwingers.com forum: Doris & Ethel's Adventures #17

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The never ending adventures of Doris, Ethel and Dave.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It was a quiet Thursday evening in Dave's caravan when the door busty open and in walked Doris with a huge

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Christmas tree

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

But Doris said Dave! It's not even Halloween yet you silly

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Billy _asmeen

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Now we must choose our costumes for the Fab Halloween Fancy dress party. Yasmeen said I will go as

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Yasmeen said I will go as Mr Blobby and talk gobbledy bobbledy de gook then

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

The Ethel punched

Yasmeen

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"The Ethel punched

Yasmeen "

***Then

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

But only by accident when she was reaching for the jar of

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Leg cream

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Oops I do t think that was leg cream…..it burns she screamed

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Oh no it was deep heat the cream

What shall I do

Helppppp

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ethel's face turned green and her blouse burst open. She was turning into the Incredible Sulk!!

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

So Doris started to

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Panic, hiding all her sex toys and drinking lots of cold tea and

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Eating plums

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

That she had been given as a leaving present by

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

The plum tree which was magic

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"The plum tree which was magic "

ever since the maharishi yogi had blessed it with a twig from the bunyab bush

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

And the maharashi yogi was

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The wisest man who ever lived, he was so wise that every time he farted the birds in the trees

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Would turn into frogs then

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

start singing The Frog Chorus by Paul McCartney, but then....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ringo came round the corner on Thomas the Wank Engine and sang, We All live in a Yellow

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Mansion

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

But it was Marilyn Manson's mansion and...

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"But it was Marilyn Manson's mansion and..."

The parties were wild

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

But Doris and Ethel hadn't been to a party since....

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

They where young and daft but just thought that this could be different

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

It was wild and

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Windy that night on the moors when Doris first met the love of her life. His name was

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Jilbinder Singh

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

But she soon changed that

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And fell deeply, madly in love with the singer Michael Ball. He win her over with his boyish good looks and enormous

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Mansion where

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Kept a large staff made up of dwarf goats, robots and Hungarian

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Anchovies they were delicious

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

But Ethel ate far too many of them and began to

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Do the moon walk

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Backwards until she fell down the

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Chimney thinking she was pigeon

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Donaldson, the world famous climber who loved to walk on rooftops and

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Show his balls

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Of wool which he used for knitting

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Leoblooms are cardigan

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It was long, fluffy and bright red . And so was the cardigan which Doris used to stuff her

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Barn

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Cakes as they call them in

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Bangladesh where....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

There lived a very wise old woman who had invented a machine which could make

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Turn people to stone and watch them become...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Incredibly hairy which was useful when

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

You needed a quilt

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Winter was coming so Doris, Ethel and Dave retreated to their hideaway in

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Bela lagoosies

Hideout

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Which was a haunted house on the edge of an enchanted forest near to

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Dracula's castle

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Dracula had been alone all during lockdown and he was hungry for fresh blood so when he saw Doris and Ethel in their baggy tights and curlers he

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Said let's play

Hopscotch

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

While I sink my fangs into your peachy

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Mangoes

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Drac sank his fangs into the sweet lush flesh of the fruits and to everyone's horror ..........

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

The fruit grew heads and became

Gremlins which...

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"The fruit grew heads and became

Gremlins which..."

multiplied if kept dry ...... soon there were millions of the little fuckers all over the ..........

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

The forums

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"The forums "

Where they were zapped by mods for posting transylvanian web site for all on four fangs and blood goblets......

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

So they hid inside some Forumites like...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Big Harold as he was large enough for everyone to be

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Who who who

Why

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What what what said Doris. She was so confused she said

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

How much is that dress

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

That Naomi Campbell was wearing on Antiques Roadshow yesterday ?

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

And Tyra banks

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Cheap and nasty from plt

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Then they all danced

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Like whirling dervishes around the campfire but suddenly there was a clap of thunder and

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

A Genie appeared singing

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

He farted

He really peeled one off…..

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Peel the limes said

Ethel before

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It's Halloween because this weekend we will all be turned into terrifying

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Grapes

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

But not just any ordinary grapes. These were huge Iranian grapes which grew on

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Peoples ears

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Where they loved the waxy goodness. Once they were ready to eat they fell out onto

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

The kidneys

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

That Doris bought on offer from Lidl. Back in Draculas castle the full moon rose overhead and all the skeletons started

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

To eat worms and cuddles

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"To eat worms and cuddles "

Cuddle up to

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The Mummy whose name was.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Magenta beebee

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And she was married to

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

The man from del Rio

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Carlos de Finocular Binocular Navez the 3rd.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Who flew the

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Cuckoos nest last night

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Was it Doris dresses as a pumpkin or Ethel wearing a long black

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Valentino gown beautifully in crusted with the most delicious diamonds and gold and Pearls

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Where can we go tonight then wearing these bloody things

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

The Oscars

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

With Lauren Bacall and Bradley Walsh as hosts.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

And eva laboola

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Making the cocktails. Unfortunately she added laxative to all the celebrities drinks and suddenly they began to

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Vomit

Squids

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And octopuses which liked to

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Hug leoblooms

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And tickle his hairy

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Tired toe

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Bradley Walsh had fallen madly in love with Lauren Bacall and wanted to take her back to his council flat in Dagenham. But she said

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Wanted to eat leoblooms tired toe

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

That was nicknamed Tony.

Meanwhile Doris had met a waiter from Mexico called

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

[Removed by poster at 27/10/21 23:39:09]

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"That was nicknamed jiny.

Meanwhile Doris had met a waiter from Mexico called "

Versace vera

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And he had an amazing secret which he wanted to share with her. It was that

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

He could fly

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Like an elephant

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

But the elephant could only fly in....

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Slow motion

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

So they all went

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Aboard and travelled at snail pace

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

And ate peas

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Then Ethel and Doris

Went for a rest and drank tea and ate biscuits then

Acey phoned Doris asking her if she had seen his clock

It was last seen In Shrewsbury with....

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Then Ethel and Doris

Went for a rest and drank tea and ate biscuits then

Acey phoned Doris asking her if she had seen his clock

It was last seen In Shrewsbury with...."

But she was hard of hearing and thought he said COCK...... she was shocked and

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Very saucy

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

But after eating all those,peas they where fucked

Stained knickers was an under statement

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

So they ran to the

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"So they ran to the "

Hose pipe round the back of the washerette

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

And washed eachother

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Then doris began singing

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Then doris began singing "

"I'm too sexy for this shit. Too sexy so let's split, this singing makes me spit! and they ran in circles for hours and then .............

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Began to play the drums

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Began to play the drums "

With their fanny flaps and it all ..........

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Because a bit crowded so

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Because a bit crowded so"

they left to sit on a beach but some crabs..........

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Came along with big eyes and said

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Came along with big eyes and said "

Can we clamp your nipples ?

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Not right now thanx said Ethel

I’ve got better fish to fry

Haha

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

So il buy some chips

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Shall we risk more mushy peas too

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Then Doris and Ethel went shopping to buy buy a fridge

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

For all the mushy peas

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

And eggs

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

And other foods for some strange reason

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Reasons reasons Said Ethel

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Doris suggested an American fridge so they fit more bodies in

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Doris suggested an American fridge so they fit more bodies in"

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

But they could t find one in the opticians

Oooops wrong shop said Doris

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

So she sang

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

For her supper and someone dropped a fridge out of an upstairs window

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Right into the skip

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Quick said Doris let’s see if we can drag it out and see if it’s any good for storage

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

but it was full of Ethel's used...

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Hair gel

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By *mma_EvansTV/TS
over a year ago

Colchester

"Hair gel"

Which Ethel used as lubricating gel because she was...

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Very tall

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By *mma_EvansTV/TS
over a year ago

Colchester

And had to squeeze into...

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

The fridge so she could

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Have a good look round

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By *mma_EvansTV/TS
over a year ago

Colchester

But it was dark, so Ethel asked Granny if she could get a Davy lamp out of her..

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"But it was dark, so Ethel asked Granny if she could get a Davy lamp out of her.."

Anus. so Granny winced a little and out it popped...... everyone clapped

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By *mma_EvansTV/TS
over a year ago

Colchester

"Anus. so Granny winced a little and out it popped...... everyone clapped"
to the tune of?...

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

What do you wanna make those eyes at me for

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"What do you wanna make those eyes at me for

Xx"

When they had all finished clapping, they .......

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By *mma_EvansTV/TS
over a year ago

Colchester

"When they had all finished clapping, they ......."

All gasped and realised there was no Doris, she was last seen in...

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"When they had all finished clapping, they .......

All gasped and realised there was no Doris, she was last seen in..."

the arms of a passionate lover named....

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Boris………

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By *mma_EvansTV/TS
over a year ago

Colchester

"Boris………"

Doris was blinded by her love for him, in her eyes he was tall, tanned and toned, but in reality, he was...

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

A piano that

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By *mma_EvansTV/TS
over a year ago

Colchester

[Removed by poster at 25/11/21 18:18:58]

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By *mma_EvansTV/TS
over a year ago

Colchester

"A piano that"

That had more keys than a...

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Janitor, then Ethel suddenly realised...

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

It was Christmas

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

so they all buggered off to a pub in Bethlehem and.....

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By *mma_EvansTV/TS
over a year ago

Colchester

"so they all buggered off to a pub in Bethlehem and....."

Asked Dave if he would pull them a...

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