FabSwingers.com forum: Doris & Ethel's Adventures #15

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Continuing the never ending story of Doris and Ethel and Dave

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We join our heroes in prison in Calcutta where they'd been arrested for

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Smuggling in more quavers

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

And hiding little Hedgehogs

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Yes Ace I know it's a sentence said Ethel

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

But the hedgehogs ate all the Quavers so our heroes had nothing to eat. Dave said why don't we

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Do the can can and eat tree's

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

But there were only rubber trees in Calcutta so Doris decided to try nibbling

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

A lizard

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

But it was poisonous and she began to wobble and talk just like

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Mr blobbly all gobbly de gooky

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And developed yellow spots all over her

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Toes so she started dancing and was spotted by a Bollywood director you he said will be in my next epic movie called vandurbelli

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So Doris, Ethel and Dave all had parts in the big movie production. Doris was the love interest and Ethel was cast as

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

The sister in law with the big teeth

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By *ayjay218Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen

With a voice to match the teeth of Janet street porter

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And eyes like Ava Gardner. Dave got a small role as a travelling

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By *ayjay218Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen

Road worker who did the wiring for the cats eyes

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

but he had forgotten his boots, so Doris offered to....

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Lick his feet and

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By *ayjay218Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen

Clip his long talon toe nails so his replacement boots from

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

New York were nice and comfy

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By *ayjay218Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen

Once he takes the bid apple out of the left one and

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Once he takes the bid apple out of the left one and "

What bid

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By *ayjay218Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen

"Once he takes the bid apple out of the left one and

What bid"
big*

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Then Gemma appeared dressed as a pony

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By *ayjay218Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen

Hoping not to chat to someone who could give a paracetamol a headache so she decided to head for a wheelie bin for

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Some rest but wanted a bed

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By *ayjay218Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen

But found half a box of alpen in there and needed some milk to

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Make tea

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By *leasebegentleCouple
over a year ago

Longfield

They spotted a cow in a field and decided to get the milk from the cow and pour on to their Alpen.

All of a sudden they realised there was a bull in the field.

Yikes said Ethel…

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Let's play tick

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Let's play tick"

The bull ran to hide , refusing to go 'on' and no one would argue with him ......... so ........

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Jim Bowen miraculously appeared out of nowhere and said.....

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Jim Bowen miraculously appeared out of nowhere and said....."

You don't get anything for three in a bed........

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

So let's play darts

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

So they all went to the Frigid Inn just down the road, and guess who was serving.....

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"So they all went to the Frigid Inn just down the road, and guess who was serving....."

It was Yasmeen the Feisty Farting Tart of Fab .........

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"So they all went to the Frigid Inn just down the road, and guess who was serving.....

It was Yasmeen the Feisty Farting Tart of Fab ........."

it was I was wearing

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"So they all went to the Frigid Inn just down the road, and guess who was serving.....

It was Yasmeen the Feisty Farting Tart of Fab .........

it was I was wearing "

A peep hole bra and gold lame undercrackers ........ with heels natch

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Then Christopher Biggins turned up holding his stomach and saying I've got diarrhoea I think iv eaten a...

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

A rotten jalfrezi with extra chilli and Sambuca garam masala and spinach

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Off he went to spew his guts up while Doris and Ethel pissed themselves laughing

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Haha they laughed

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

But Dave wasn't laughing because a raccoon had run off with his

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

new boots and the packet of....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Maltesers he kept down his pants for emergencies. Out of nowhere there was a flash of smoke and

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Bahuma appeared again holding

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

A sign that said…..you have three wishes then I’m off again

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

To watch the hockey

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

With Edward Scissorhands and Gok Wan

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

And

Michelle Pfeiffer

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Who was wearing a shell suit made entirely of

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Crabs

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And balloons. The smell attracted bands of wild cats who burst the balloons and made Doris

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Become a cat called dolly

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Parton who sang very loudly until Ethel threw a bucket of water over her and Dave

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By *leasebegentleCouple
over a year ago

Longfield

Picked up the cat and put her in the water.

Which turned her back into Doris.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Yes Said Ethel welcome back

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Except now Doris had an insatiable appetite for milk and

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Except now Doris had an insatiable appetite for milk and "

Beetroot

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Coloured leggings which she bought from

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

The shop near the vegetable patch

Called

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Give Peas a Chance

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Ahhh can we make pea surprise asked

Ethel

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By *leasebegentleCouple
over a year ago

Longfield

What’s the surprise?

Asked Ethel.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We're going to surprise Dave by putting a packet of frozen peas up his

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By *leasebegentleCouple
over a year ago

Longfield

Arse.

That certainly will be a surprise.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

But then Lily turned up with a twinkle in her eye and a slide in hair the colour was blue

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And so was her language. What the f**k is going on in this thread she shouted. Well said Dave...

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

It's all fun and games darling all fun and games

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Yes that's the face he made and I'll stuck with it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yikes said Doris. What game shall we play then ?

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Yes that's the face he made and I'll stuck with it"

Was

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Yikes said Doris. What game shall we play then ?"

We can play cricket with

Ian botham

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

He's got a lovely moustache and balls made of leather. Well said Ethel, let's see if he wants to

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Become a model at he

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By *leasebegentleCouple
over a year ago

Longfield

Her majesty’s service.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

The weather is nice here said...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

John Ketley so he took off his trousers and danced round the room like a wild

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Sea lion who

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Had eaten too many Haribos and too much

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Weetabix

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Which made him strong enough to take Doris in his arms and

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Do the tango

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

In Buenos Aires, so our heroes found themselves in Argentina ! The first thing they did was

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Sit down any lobster and crabs finished with champagne

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And rice pudding with jam for after. When they were finished Doris belched loudly and said

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Battlejuice choir

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Then they all sang Let's Go Round the fan

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

But they stopped when the helicopter arrived to take them to the Falkland Islands where

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

They all ate seafood and devoured the local delicacy which was mushrooms and beef

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

We gonna pay for this said ethel

Wish I had brought spare knickers

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

But fortunately there were lots of bushes on the Falkland

Meanwhile a large army of penguins had gathered...

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

From the batman film to take

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

On Doris and Ethel who had been cast as Batwoman and Robina in the new movie called

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Beware the penguins

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

In which a gang of evil Penguins tried to steal all the fish from Dave's

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

From Dave gut which was smelly

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

As it has been there since

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

1752 to the Year the smellies came out

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Ethel and Doris had to go get measured up,for their costumes

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

We will wear the finest garments bring me the best dressmaker in the world they said

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

But unfortunately Zandra was on holiday and so they brought in Thora Fat Thumbs from the British sewing Bee and her sister Betty who had come last for sewing razor blades into the ribbons of bonnets for sale to women with beards.......

Hello there said ...................

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Betty how do you like your dress

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Short or long

With or without leather patches

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

We are royalty we want the best snap snap said Ethel

The dress maker saw red and said to

Ethel dont you dare snap your fingers at me and grabbed Ethel by the head and..

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Thora fat thumbs farted and said...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Off with your head ! Because I am the Queen of Diamonds and you are just

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

And you are just a naughty naughty of the world

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Championships of naughtiness which was held every year in

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Uranus

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Which the contestants reached by travelling on a giant

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Eagle with big eyes

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

When they arrived on Uranus the Eagle let them go and they landed safely. Surprisingly Uranus looked a lot like Swindon.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Then arrived Tilda Swinton riding on a horse

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Called Spangles McDrain which had just won the Derby. It had got to Uranus by using

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Magic sea

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

The sea Rose to a high level then entered Julia Julia who was smitten with

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Clarissa the kisser who was born in

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

18th century She Wore a nice Basque and

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thong around her throat. Dave immediately fell in love with Clarissa because

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Her legs were amazing and

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

She said I Want ReVenge you should have it my beauty hahaha he he he she

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

But Doris became very jealous and decided to steal Clarissa's

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Codppiece

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Because without her codpiece she had no control over her

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Bowels

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And so she began to fart uncontrollably to the tune of

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

We are the cheeky girls

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And Doris and Ethel sang along as they felt so

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Liberated and delicious

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Like a pair of ripe plums.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Leoblooms gonads because his were blue and soggy

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Leoblooms gonads because his were blue and soggy "

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Leoblooms gonads because his were blue and soggy

Like Ethels blue hair rinse

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So our heroes found themselves in Swindon which looked a lot like Uranus and decided to go ten pin bowling.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

And drink tea and eat scones

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

At the Marilyn Monroe tea rooms which were owned by

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Joan Collins

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Joan was a famous actress but also an amazing baker who was famous for her sour dough and

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Delicious spinach and cuddles

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Delicious spinach and cuddles "

Cuddles was her pet monkey which she kept on a golden leash and ......

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Had gold toenails

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

But Cuddles was exceptionally rude and liked to show his monkey bum to everyone who

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Liked to look the first to look was Granny crumpet

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And she was followed by Harold from Neighbours who fell madly in love with the monkey and took him away to

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

To America where they grew turnips and ate

Pineapples

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And lived happily ever after. Back in Swindon Doris had got a new job as a

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Lion tamer she tamed the king lion

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And made him carry her shopping home in a

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Tesco trolley on the way they met Joan Crawford who

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Now worked in Boots as a condom salesperson. She loved to

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Wear makeup

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And expensive perfume, designer clothes and make a noise like a

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Jean harlow

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Eating cornflakes through a straw while using a food processor.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

And dancing with ida lupino

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

At the Swindon dance hall which was owned by old thread favourite

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Who like to sing

Purple rain and wat chicken soup

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Doris and Ethel were that tired so they tried to get some sleep in the local caravan which was owned by...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t remember Swindon being such a good night out, said Ethel. I’ve had a lovely time but I could do with a nightcap. Let’s get a hotel room together and we can…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Doris and Ethel were that tired so they tried to get some sleep in the local caravan which was owned by..."

Oops I take too long to type

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Doris and Ethel were that tired so they tried to get some sleep in the local caravan which was owned by...

Oops I take too long to type

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don’t remember Swindon being such a good night out, said Ethel. I’ve had a lovely time but I could do with a nightcap. Let’s get a hotel room together and we can…"

Party like it's 1999. Suddenly in a flash of purple smoke the ghost of Prince appeared and said...

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Now then now then what's going on here let's be having you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Kiss ! He sang, so everyone started smooching but one thing led to another and the Manager knocked on the door because

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Kenya Moore was stripping

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

All the wallpaper using a kettle and a carving knife.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

So she applied paint

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

She painted her old Castle blue then applied red paint to her

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ear lobes and began to dance the cha cha cha with Len Goodman who had arrived by

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By *leasebegentleCouple
over a year ago

Longfield

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

But due to panic buying he'd run out of petrol in Reading and had to finish his journey on

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By *leasebegentleCouple
over a year ago

Longfield

Ivor The Engine.

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