FabSwingers.com forum: Doris & Ethel's Adventures #14

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Continuing the never ending story of Doris and Ethel and Dave

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It was early Sunday morning in Cardiff when suddenly

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

King dong appeared

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

With news from Spain. Apparently Doris had inherited a fabulous

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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Igloo

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

But then found out it was a scam

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

So had a dance

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By *leasebegentleCouple
over a year ago

Longfield

To Wake me up before you go go.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

King Dong said "now that you have been warmed up by Wham, how about some wham, mam thank you mam?"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

To which Doris replied 'definitely' and took off her corset to reveal a

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Television

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

That showed continuous repeats of

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Eldorado

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

A show about sheep farming in Nottingham which was very popular with

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Aliens

Wheres

Christopher biggins

The queen alien shouted I want his

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

[Removed by poster at 12/09/21 14:32:54]

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Space shift as ours has broken down

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

So they

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

All pas sed out with exhaustion and woke up two days later in

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Siberia

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Where it was so cold Ethel had to put two woolen gloves on her

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Pubes

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Which had turned grey since the last thread. Dave also had to wear a furry hat to stop his ears

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Turning green

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Like his penis. Doris actually didn't feel the cold and liked to go around Sibera with no

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Knickers on

Knowing the locals were

Werewolves who liked to feast on

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Pensioners private parts. Suddenly a pack of werewolves appeared and chased our heroes into a

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Forest where the trees spoke Gaelic

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And all the wild animals wore M and S underwear. Dave spotted a squirrel in y fronts and tried to

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Grab its tail

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

But the squirrel turned out to be Cindy Crawford working undercover for MI5, looking for

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Naomi Campbell

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Who'd gone missing while filming a documentary in Siberia about

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Vampires

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

But Ethel and Doris weren’t interested in looking for Naomi so went to have a chat with one of the local trees to see if it spoke english

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

It did it said

Mirror

Mirror on the wall

Who's the fairest of them all

...

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Wonder if the tree is talking to you or me said ethel

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

The tree was talking to neither

Because there was a new beauty in

Town

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And his name was

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Mr vanderloolooloo

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

He was tall, blond, with huge muscles and a big smile. He also had three nipples and five

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Studs in his ear

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By *leasebegentleCouple
over a year ago

Longfield

The only problem was he spoke…

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Spanish

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By *leasebegentleCouple
over a year ago

Longfield

Doris didn’t you learn Spanish at school?

Bloodyhell Ethel that was over 60 years ago!!!

I can barely remember what I did yesterday.

So Dave…

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Opened his legs to reveal a

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Spanish omelette made of mushrooms and

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

A duck egg

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Suddenly the egg hatched and out jumped an enormous Spanish

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Rat

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Called Juan Cornetto. Look ! Said Doris, Just Juan Cornetto, Give it to me ! But Ethel hated rats and hit it with a rubber

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Dildo

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Which she had been carrying in her handbag

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

That also contained dozens of rare

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Stones

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Such as Diamonds and Pearls. Doris wanted Dave to make her a pearl necklace but

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Dave was busy talking to

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The ghost of Mae West who had appeared in order to find her

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Gary cooper

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Because they wanted to make a new film version of

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Gone with the fart

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Set in the Windy City, Chicago. Mae would play the lead and Gary would play the

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Fart

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Of course Doris and Ethel wanted to be in the film too so Doris was given a part as sexy maid and Ethel would play a Texan

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Tramp

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Called Dusty McDrain who lived under the bridge with his two

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Hedgehogs

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

That used to play football for Tottenham Hotspur. Dave also wanted a part in the film but Gary Cooper said

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

No no non

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"No no non "

They 'bristled' at this and stared hard at ..............

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Gary Cooper. It was a standoff, their eyes locked waiting to see who would make the first move...

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Gary Cooper. It was a standoff, their eyes locked waiting to see who would make the first move..."

Finally Gary raised one eyebrow undid his zipper and yelled .........

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Lick my ear

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

To which Ethel fainted

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Then Kimmy the cat

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ran off with Gary's toupee ! Stop that pussy yelled Gary so Dave got in his

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Doggy out

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And said after her Cyril ! So

chased the

and Gary Cooper chased the

but he was

and couldn't

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Run fast so

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And the dog and cat disappeared into the distance. With no hair Gary had to be replaced by Dave in the lead role of

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

The beauty of the lambs

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The story of two sheep who opened a hair salon in

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

The north pole

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

But then moved to Birmingham where there was more customers. One of their most famous clients was

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Jasper carrot

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Who liked to have his curly hair cut short and dyed

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By *annaBeBeachBumMan
over a year ago

Sunny SouthWest

Pink whilst regaling all present with tales of

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How he used to dance naked tango with Anne Widdecombe and

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Bella embarks

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

But Doris and Ethel where confused with all these people that kept appearing from nowhere once again when all they wanted was good adventures

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

So Doris and Ethel went

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

To look for the lost treasure of Cockaleaky. They began in Brazil where

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

They found jenny lenny who

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Had been hiding in the Amazon Rain Forest because she was being chased by a gang of

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Had been hiding in the Amazon Rain Forest because she was being chased by a gang of"

Parcel Force drivers who wanted to kill off the competition. She hid inside the hollow trunk of ................

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

An ancient rubber tree, but suddenly the wind picked up and the tree bent in half to reveal

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"An ancient rubber tree, but suddenly the wind picked up and the tree bent in half to reveal"

A secret tunnel which led to .........

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The underground lost civilisation of Ikeea, where the citizens wore badly assembled outfits and lived on a diet of meat balls.

Suddenly...

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"The underground lost civilisation of Ikeea, where the citizens wore badly assembled outfits and lived on a diet of meat balls.

Suddenly..."

two of the meatballs rolled across the floor towards ............

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Doris who picked them up and stuffed them down her cleavage, convinced they held the secret to eternal

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Fruit eating

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Fruit eating "

Fruit eating was highly prized in Doris' neighbourhood. She once slipped three bananas in sideways but had never managed to force a .............

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Whole watermelon

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Whole watermelon "

up her aunty's ...............

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Loft

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Because the entrance hasn't been used in so long. Meanwhile the men of Ikeea were transfixed by Ethel who to them resembled a young

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Veronica lake

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

But with knobly knees and hairy ankles which the Ikeea people prized as signs of erotic power.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

So she began to read palms

Leo leo leoblooms she said

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Why do you keep wearing those red shorts

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Leoblooms was preparing a picnic he sent out Invites to

...

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Saffy

Lexi

Nora

Sigma

Cera

Kathy

Karly

James

Jimmy

....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And Yasmeen, the guest of honour, who arrived with Doris, Ethel and

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Naomi Campbell

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Naomi was on the run from MI5 as they suspected her of being a Russian spy ! But really she worked for

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Gucci

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By *annaBeBeachBumMan
over a year ago

Sunny SouthWest

with a weekend job at McDonalds which allowed her to

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Travel to space

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By *annaBeBeachBumMan
over a year ago

Sunny SouthWest

with beardy wierdy Richard Branson pickle

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Anyway new day new model came in

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By *annaBeBeachBumMan
over a year ago

Sunny SouthWest

It was the Morris 1000, face of the future

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

With big

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By *annaBeBeachBumMan
over a year ago

Sunny SouthWest

fat boy tyres which made the Michelin man look

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Like kate moss

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By *annaBeBeachBumMan
over a year ago

Sunny SouthWest

Who also appeared, being banged over the bonnet by

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

King dong

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By *annaBeBeachBumMan
over a year ago

Sunny SouthWest

and Kim Jon Un

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

From Italy

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By *annaBeBeachBumMan
over a year ago

Sunny SouthWest

who had come all the way on a magic carpet

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

With

Carla bruni

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By *annaBeBeachBumMan
over a year ago

Sunny SouthWest

who had stopped off at Tesco’s to get the condoms

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

And grapes

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By *annaBeBeachBumMan
over a year ago

Sunny SouthWest

which they needed to make a proper

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Cock

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By *annaBeBeachBumMan
over a year ago

Sunny SouthWest

for Ethel because she didn’t like

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Wine

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By *annaBeBeachBumMan
over a year ago

Sunny SouthWest

or cheese on toast as these were the foods of the

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Super models

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By *annaBeBeachBumMan
over a year ago

Sunny SouthWest

So as Doris And Ethel trampled the condom clad grapes

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

And started to cry

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By *annaBeBeachBumMan
over a year ago

Sunny SouthWest

sad that Pavarotti and Sid the Sexist had not yet arrived

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

But grace Jones did

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By *annaBeBeachBumMan
over a year ago

Sunny SouthWest

they really did begin to wonder if this was all a dream concocted by Martina Navratilova.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

It was not said Jerry hall

Who

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By *annaBeBeachBumMan
over a year ago

Sunny SouthWest

the hell are you said Doris with consternation

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By *leasebegentleCouple
over a year ago

Longfield

“Doris”said Ethel.

That’s the lady out of Eastenders.

You know who I’m talking about??

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Yeah Bianca

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By *annaBeBeachBumMan
over a year ago

Sunny SouthWest

[Removed by poster at 18/09/21 09:10:44]

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By *annaBeBeachBumMan
over a year ago

Sunny SouthWest

and Mick! So just when you thought “who on earth next?”,

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The entire cast of the Lion King appeared and chased everyone else away except Doris and Ethel.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Then the cats came in two by two

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Onto Dave's Ark which he'd built from grass, sandpaper and

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Spit with lumps in

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And so Dave called all the creatures to come forward in pairs, starting with

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

The tigers

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Who then ate all the other animals!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Except....

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

The balbaroonies

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Because Tigers were allergic to them. Unfortunately they were also very small and Doris sat on them when she had her crisps.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Then one day he came he told me that he loved me said I was blame so I did it all again said vera who was

Ethels....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Long lost twin sister from

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Beyond the Grave where Peter Cushing ruled the land of the east

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

And sat eating quavers in the graveyard

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By *ayjay218Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen

Because they got fed up with wotsits making their fingers orange

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Ethel was spying on him from behind a tree as she quite fancied him

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By *ayjay218Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen

And she was thankful it was quavers and not skips

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

They skipped of to

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Primark where there was a sale of

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Eyelashes

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

And perfume

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

In Scunthorpe, where they bumped into.....

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Hilary

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Clinton, who was....

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

A card

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By *ayjay218Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen

Carrying communist

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"A card"

When I invented Doris & Ethel's adventures, before Leo kindly took over, it was supposed to be next sentence that would lead you on, not just one word replies

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