FabSwingers.com forum: Doris & Ethel's Adventures #13

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Continuing the never ending story of Doris and Ethel and Dave and friends....

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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They were watching

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Our new adventure finds our heroes in Hollywood where Doris had an audition for a part in the new James Bond movie as

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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Jaws

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Because she had false teeth and liked to bite into

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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Cactus Jack

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And get her mouth full of little pricks. Ethel was also going for a part in a horror film playing an old

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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Witch

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Who lived in a haunted hotel owned by the famous pop star

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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Rick astley

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Rick had opened the hotel when his career was struggling and now he was never gonna give it up.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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His bumhole

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Was not very big so he struggled with

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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Constipation so he drank prune juice and Ethel said

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Let It Go ! Let It Go ! But Rick said that's a different film you daft bat. Ethel got flustered and attacked Rick with

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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Her smelly gob

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And bit him on the ankle. Rick hopped around then fell on top of

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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Drama freee

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Who was in Hollywood to make a new porno movie with Sigma and

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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Smegma

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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So Ethel and Doris had a bath then

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Waited for the results of the audition to see if she had got the part

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

She dreamed of. Meanwhile Dave had got a job as personal trainer to Tom Cruise and was getting him into shape by making him

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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Eat crisps

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Because he was playing the part of Shrek in Shrek 5 The Movie.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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And Fay dunaway was playing the queen

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Of hearts and Brad Pitt played the singing donkey. Doris was in love with Brad and asked Dave if he could get her into his

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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Bed

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So she could have a good nibble of his

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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Vagina

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Because Brad was actually Brandy, a gorgeous buxom blond from Rotherham and only three people knew the truth: Angelina Jolie, Harry Kane and

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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Kane was an alien who

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Liked to probe the bumhole of top celebrities like Meg Ryan

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 05/09/21 19:00:10]

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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Who never spoke

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Who never spoke "

On a Thursday or Sunday when she practiced

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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How to suck ass

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

With her ass sucking guru, Nigella Lawson who learned the ancient skill from

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Fanny craddock

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So Doris found herself in bed with Brad who was actually Brandy when suddenly Ethel burst in dressed as

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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Mr blobby

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And leapt on the bed like a salmon during mating season ! Brandy was so surprised she

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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Farted

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Like a sailor after 16 pints on Saturday night. The stench was so bad that Doris had to

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Change her head she became

.Meryl Streep

Out of death becomes her

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

But her lower body was that of a Dolphin and Ethel said she should

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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Eat her

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Dinner before it got cold

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And it was her favourite, a Sunday roast. Doris had always loved a bit of beef any a big portion of

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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Trunk

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Filled with fresh cream and a sprinkling of

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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Sly snipers

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It was a new week and our heroes had been kicked out of Holywood and were back in Peckham where they planned to

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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Join a circus

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By *annaBeBeachBumMan
over a year ago

Sunny SouthWest

but not before they had visited that brand new eatery in town and had a lunch consisting of

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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Soup and

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Cardboard

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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Then they made masks

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By *leasebegentleCouple
over a year ago

Longfield

From the cardboard and ate them too.

I think I have heartburn said…

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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The Ethel

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Not sure if I fancy the circus now as we have already mastered that adventure

Let’s go back to ibjza

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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And eat pasta

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

With our pants on our heads to keep the sun off.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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So we can oil our legs and wait for Linda evangelista to

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Piss off into the sea

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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Then arrived

Christy turlington wearing a

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Bears costume and eating a jar of honey. Pooh said Doris, look at her huge

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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Eyes then helena christiansen came and

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

They all played ring o roses on the beach

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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Then

Entered

Grace jones and Jerry hall

Singing...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Don't Put Your Daughter on the Stage Mrs Worthington. But no one else knew the words so they all

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Walked In a fashion show for

Armani

But naomi Campbell and Tyra banks turned up and had a fight back stage

Naomi said

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

You lanky cow, why did you steal my laxative chocolate that I need to

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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Rub in my ear

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So I can't hear Ethel and Dave when they are

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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Gossiping

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

About

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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Kate moss

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By *leasebegentleCouple
over a year ago

Longfield

And Worzel Gummidge.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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Who dressed up like twiggy and

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Ken Dodds diddy men

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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Just round the corner was

Eva Herzegovina who..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Liked pot noodles for breakfast. Dave made her one but forgot to add

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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Salt

This fashion show is brilliant said Ethel it reminds me of

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

That time I had a threesome with Basil Brush and Cindy Crawford, it was absolutely

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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Hilarious

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Because Basil kept teasing Cindy with his long

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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Toe

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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Cindy was busy with basil

Tatjana

Alec

Beverley

Nadge

Carla

Karen were all getting ready for

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The big sale at Primark where they bought all their

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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Heels

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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Lipstick

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Which they used to paint their

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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Knees

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Which was a traditional form of make up invented by

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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Leoblooms

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

When he worked at L'Oreal in Paris. Soon Doris and Ethel had copied this fashion, walking round with bright red knees and purple

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

It was a great success

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Unlike Dave's idea of putting mascara on his

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Tonsils

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Which he had removed when he was 8 and replaced with a

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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Torch

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

A magic torch that could also be used as a

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Wig

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Wam

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Then one model flew over the ants nest it was Beverley peele who

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Had just arrived from Prague with a present for Doris. It was a

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

A ant eater

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Called Elaine Page and it ate ants all day long. So Dave went out to find some ants in the

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Nearby forest of doom

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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Where Cleopatra was

.......

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Waiting many years for Caesar to seize her, but instead Dave, Ethel and Doris turned up one day with a

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Hot air balloon

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

That they powered with methane from a farty chicken. Unfortunately the wind changed and blew them all off to

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Essex

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Where LeoBlooms lived all alone except for his lovely dog. He wasn't used to company so he greeted the new arrivals with a big

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

[Removed by poster at 09/09/21 23:44:55]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Load of champagne and lobsters as he was known as a very generous host. But Dave was allergic to seafood and after one nibble he turned

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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"Load of champagne and lobsters as he was known as a very generous host. But Dave was allergic to seafood and after one nibble he turned "

Into a Tarantula

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"[Load of shit removed by poster at 09/09/21 23:44:55]"

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"[Load of shit removed by poster at 09/09/21 23:44:55]

Paper

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Load of champagne and lobsters as he was known as a very generous host. But Dave was allergic to seafood and after one nibble he turned

Into a Tarantula "

With 12 legs, two heads and three

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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Handbags

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

That he stole from Cindy Crawford. Dave the Tarantula rampaged across Essex biting people on their

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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Balls but he became tired so had a nap then

Magooloo turned up

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Wearing a tuxedo any a spacemans helmet. He's just got back from

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Marrying leoblooms

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

In Mexico City so Essex was a bit of a shock as everyone lived on chips, lager and

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Collagen

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Kebabs.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

All this excitement

Ethel said is fun but I just want to

....

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By *leasebegentleCouple
over a year ago

Longfield

Go home.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

So they did and

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By *leasebegentleCouple
over a year ago

Longfield

They were greeted by Len Goodman.

Who had put the kettle on.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

And biscuits were served

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

On a silver tray carried by Dave dressed up as

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

A canary

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

With a giant red beak. The only words he could say were Who's a Pretty Boy then, and Polly wants a

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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Curry

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

But when Doris gave him some Vindaloo he became very hot and started to

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Break dance

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Around Peckham town centre. Quick said Ethel, stop him before he

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Turns into the person

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Called

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Rekha

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Zamkolynkabumcheeks, who was a world famous

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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Zebra

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Impersonator from Norway. She had stripes all over her

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Skull

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And back and legs and

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Italy

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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To eat bread

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Wht the fook u on about now said ethel

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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Oh Ethel

Doris said

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

I really wanted a kebab

I’m starving

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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So they went to Manchester to buy a kebab then

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Went to see Manchester United play against Stoke City at Netball. The star player for Stoke was

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Betty the bumble bee

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Who wore a stripey jumper and a bra padded with

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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Wasps

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

That stung her nips which swelled up like huge

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Bald heads then entered the

.Mitchell brother's

Grant and

Phil

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

From East London. Their bald heads shone in Doris's eyes and made her drop a

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

She released two

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Goldfish from her bumhole, one named Cher and the other named

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Mystique

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Because he was always found hanging round bumholes or up a tree in

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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India

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Because he loves chai tea and cricket. Back in Manchester Ethel and Doris had found an old

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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Historically

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Historical "

Book about baked beans.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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And jizz

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Sandwiches which were the favourite traditional food of

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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Mystique

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

To be continued....

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