FabSwingers.com forum: Doris & Ethel's Adventures #11

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Continuing the never ending story of Doris and Ethel and Dave and friends....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Our story begins with our heroes in South America looking for the lost treasure of The Stinkas, an ancient civilisation known for their gold and their flatulence.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Ethel and Doris were cooking spaghetti while David was dancing to whitney Houston...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Look Doris ! Said Ethel, coming out of the rain forest, it's...

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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Spaghetti time

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So they made a big pot of pasta but before they could eat a giant eagle swooped down and stole Dave's

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Ear

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By *leasebegentleCouple
over a year ago

Longfield

I like sucking on spaghetti said Doris.

Not the only thing you like sucking said Ethel.

Dave had a grin.

Ladies we must head on…

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

To Eldorado!

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Back to England where we can go

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Eat strawberries and

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Dave's special cream.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Its like potatoe water Doris laughed

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By *leasebegentleCouple
over a year ago

Longfield

Talking of water I need to use the loo.

Where’s the nearest one said Ethel?

Dave replied…

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Tesco

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By *leasebegentleCouple
over a year ago

Longfield

Yikes!!!

I better find the nearest bush I’ll never make it.

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

So with her knickers round her ankles she proceeded to

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Prepare lunch

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

While the donkey's head was boiling in tequila and turnip she asked Doris to try and pull out some of the pricks from her bum which she had got whilst weeing in the cactus patch.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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But doris said I'm shy ask...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Bradley Walsh who suddenly escaped from the last thread. Bradley used tweezers on the little pricks which came out in

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Handfuls

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And gave Bradley a nasty rash. Ethel told Dave to put some of his special hand cream on but Dave didn't hear properly and used

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Tomato sauce when he saw what he had done he stated to scream like the cat called jolly

Jolly was soooooo cute they all...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Wanted to stroke that pussy but Jolly wasn't very Jolly and scratched Doris on the

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Head causing

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Her wig to fall off onto the floor. Jolly thought it was a femalr cat and started to shag it so Ethel poked Jolly with

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By *leasebegentleCouple
over a year ago

Longfield

Her walking stick.

The cat ran away but it was too late he’d made a mess in her wig.

Eww…

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The smell was so bad that our heroes decided they needed a holiday so Doris, Ethel and Dave got on a plane to

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Jupiter where they

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Found it was early day closing so they returned to Australia and sat on Bondai Beach with a pina colada each and a

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Kangaroo

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By *leasebegentleCouple
over a year ago

Longfield

Burger and chips.

Meanwhile..

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Naomi Campbell appeared wearing a

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By *leasebegentleCouple
over a year ago

Longfield

Miss Piggy outfit.

Kermit was beside her but who was in it??

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

It was ida lupino

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By *leasebegentleCouple
over a year ago

Longfield

Ghost.

Kermit floated away into space.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Then naomi Campbell started to

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By *leasebegentleCouple
over a year ago

Longfield

Bloat out and before anything was said she too floated up to space never to be seen again.

Right said Ethel this place is weird I want to go home.

So…

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

They chartered a hot air balloon to take them back to England. Unfortunately a hurricane over the Indian Ocean picked them up and dropped them in

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By *leasebegentleCouple
over a year ago

Longfield

The South Pole.

Oh Ethel we’re going to freeze to death said Doris.

Could do with a cuppa tea and scone.

Dave help us…

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Wear socks

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By *leasebegentleCouple
over a year ago

Longfield

On your ears.

I’ll build an igloo said Dave.

Let’s make a snowman said Ethel.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

And fart in him

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So the igloo filled up with sweet smelling wind which reminded Ethel of

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Tea tree oil

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And pile cream. She got very nostalgic and wished she was back home in

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By *leasebegentleCouple
over a year ago

Longfield

The care home they both got kicked out of because they were smoking .

Never..

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

The Twain said

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Meat ! I want meat ! Said Dave.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Beef will do Said

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Doris, a big fat juicy steak in your gob. Do you like it rare or

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Doris, a big fat juicy steak in your gob. Do you like it rare or"

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Doris, a big fat juicy steak in your gob. Do you like it rare or"

Or with smegma

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Oh said Ethel, is that the fancy new relish I've heard about ? Could you ask Dave to put a spoonful on my

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Wrinkley fanny

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Craddock recipe book ? It's very old but lots of men like to look at it and have a taste of

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Her eyebrows

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Which looked like Groucho Marx and tasted of cheese and eggs and

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Looked like the surprise look in came Christopher biggins waddling in singing surprise surprise the unexpected hits you between the

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Legs

I’m off now ….it was only a quick visit

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

But I will be back with

Bet lynch and.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

A Chinese takeaway and a canoe. Then we can paddle off to

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Coronation street and play

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Tickle the bum hole. Oh no said Doris, I prefer a game of cribbage, whist or naked

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

With Mavis who can say good derek I don't really know

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What the f you're saying, speak up Derek ! But Derek couldn't speak as Ethel had filled his mouth with

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Super glue

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So when he shut his mouth we never heard from him again. Meanwhile back in the Indian Ocean...

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

The fish began to sing...

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By *leasebegentleCouple
over a year ago

Longfield

Baby shark…

Oh no not that again.

Let’s go back to England I’m missing the weather.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

And the fish and chips

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By *leasebegentleCouple
over a year ago

Longfield

So they hitched a ride in a yellow submarine.

Which took them all the way back to Southampton.

Now they needed to get to London.

Lets…

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Get a private jet

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By *leasebegentleCouple
over a year ago

Longfield

[Removed by poster at 27/08/21 07:14:50]

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By *leasebegentleCouple
over a year ago

Longfield

I’ll call my friend Richard Branson I’m sure he can help.

Isn’t he a virgin said Ethel.

You silly cow he owns a company called Virgin said Doris.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And he's also got a big rocket and he'll give you a ride if you like. He could take us all to

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

The south pole so we can

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Get frozen bums and slide down the glaciers. I'd like to meet a real snowman and see if he has a frozen

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Leg

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Of lamb he could sell me. They were now all cold and hungry at the South Pole when suddenly Doris spotted a

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Magic arrow

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By *leasebegentleCouple
over a year ago

Longfield

And where ever it pointed that’s where you were going.

Dave you throw it preferably somewhere warm,our bodies can’t stand this cold.

Fingers crossed.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And it pointed towards Ibiza ! Yaay, rave on said Doris and they all got aboard the flying carpet and set off for the Balearics.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Only to be met by john the person

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Who lived in a cave by the beach and sold tea towels with a print of Donald Trumps bumhole on them.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Which stabilizes the whole body

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

John offered them a drink then started to show them his porn collection

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

But they were not interested so went to..

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Find the nearest cocktail bar with some decent music on

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

And Decent food

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Which included Pork scratching, caviar and vegetarian cock. Doris had some of each while Ethel just had a few salted nuts which made her

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Turn into a frog called groggy

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So she hopped into Dave's pocket and started jumping up and down. Doris said, well Dave, you're pleased to see me today, would you like me to

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Rim you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Dave thought she said, but actually it was, Ring You a taxi to take you to

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

The rimmer

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

He thought she said but actually she said, the trimmer, to get a haircut and a

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Rim job

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

He thought she said, but actually she said, Grim job, as she wanted him to bury her pet gerbil who'd died while stuck in

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Vladimirs arsehole

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

He thought she said but actually she's said, Vladimir's last hole, as she wanted him to play golf in Russia. Dave got pissed off with misunderstanding everything and went off to see

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Mae west

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Who was appearing as a Ghost at the London Palladium. She'd told Dave to come up and see her some time so he put on his

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Gold wig and matching...

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Mask of leoblooms we all will be leoblooms

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thong and got the Tram to London's West End. But before he could get to the theatre he was jumped on by a gang of filthy

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Leoblooms

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Leoblooms "

In masks

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And red pants. They stripped poor Dave naked except for his socks and stick a pansy in his Japs Eye. The police found him on top of

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Leoblooms

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Who was dead !!

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Who was fed!!

Turnips and Turkey

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Which made him very windy

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

So they called leoblooms

Windy le mindy

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And so Doris and Ethel used his extra strong wind to power their super yacht as they sailed to Norway where

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Windy le mindy

Performed oral sex on drama freee

But wait mindy said

...

Drama freee hasn't washed his dick

Ooooohhhhh...m

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

My my

Help

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Me said Ethel. My wig has fallen off again on top of

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Drama freees dick

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

A new day dawned and Doris, Ethel and Dave found themselves Russia where they'd come to find the ghost of Rasputin. Legend says he had a 13 inch

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Nose

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Which he liked to scratch with a

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Dwayne Johnson

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Pencil but one day it got stuck up there and had to be removed by

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

A builder

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Called Bob who lived in the Kremlin with

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

A gremlin

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Is it home time yet said Ethel

I much prefer my own bed for tonight as I’m fed up all these shite places

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Yeah home so we can knit

I think not

We love adventure

We shall go to Egypt with

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Dominic Raab. He doesn't have much on for the next two weeks.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

So we can dress them up as Tutankhamun

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And Doris can play Mummy and Ethel can make a pyramid out of

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

her Tena lady extra large incontinence pads. Then we can ..

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

The Towers and the walls of ancient Russia

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Then we can eat spaghetti

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Like in Lady and the Tramp. Doris said yes, I'd love to suck like

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Ant Eater

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"Ant Eater "

and suck the end of your

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Lollystick while travelling on the bus home

We can always get online and decide on next adventure properly with the right people

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

We love our adventures we will go to Italy to see

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Who owns the best restaurants

We might even bump into Gino again

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Gino no thanks hes not adventurous

We need adventure

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And so our heroes made their way to Rome where they'd arranged a surprise party for

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Al gore the great

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Shame we will miss Gino…..you Mardy arse said Ethel

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

So Doris started to eat some breakfast..

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

And ignored her

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Eat up said

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Ethel

We have stuff to do today

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

That Colosseum is filthy and needs a good sweeping. Put your Marigolds on and let's get going. On their way there ...

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Doris spewed up…….I ate that brekky far to quickly ….you shouldn’t have made me rush

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

So then entered

Marjorie she was Ethels rebellious cousin she..

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By *leasebegentleCouple
over a year ago

Longfield

Took them on a rollercoaster which came off the rails and landed…

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

In space

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By *leasebegentleCouple
over a year ago

Longfield

Doris spewed again and it floated everywhere.

Trying to dodge it Ethel…

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Oh Ethel cried

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Marjorie has fallen into the shark infested lake and I can't swim !! Quick Doris, strip off and jump in before she

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By *leasebegentleCouple
over a year ago

Longfield

Gets eaten.

So Doris dived in but as she did a great big shark opened its mouth and swallowed her in one go.

Nooooo said Ethel.

Dave jumped in…

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And the darn shark gobbled him up too! So now they were both inside like Jonah in the whale, so they started a fire and grilled some fresh

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By *leasebegentleCouple
over a year ago

Longfield

Arm,leg and brain mixed grill.

Infact it tasted just like…

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

a KFC family bucket. Suddenly ...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The shark belched and Doris and Dave shot out and landed safely on top of

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By *leasebegentleCouple
over a year ago

Longfield

Ethel.

Let’s go get a tea I’m so thirsty.

So off they went to…

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By *leasebegentleCouple
over a year ago

Longfield

Ethel.

Let’s go get a tea I’m so thirsty.

So off they went to…

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

The best tea house in India

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

But when they got there it was bloody closed due to corona

Great….now what

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

can we do while we wait for it to reopen ? They sat down on the doorstep of the tea shop. Ethel rummaged around in her handbag and found ...

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Some

Old lettuce so

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

A magic lamp which she rubbed three times. In a puff of smoke Alladin appeared and said

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Hiya love

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Ethel said "I wish my lettuce wasn't limp".

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

But we can make it crispy with leoblooms help

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

He gets windy after 3 am

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Aladdin asked if the ladies wanted to give his lamp a rub and have a wish granted. Doris replied ...

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Ohhh yes let me get me wig on

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