FabSwingers.com forum: Doris & Ethel's Adventures #9

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Continuing the never ending story of Doris and Ethel and Dave and friends....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So still in the circus Doris and Ethel were cavorting with the clowns who knew how to show them a good time.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

But the clowns were really ghosts so

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

They said BOO and everyone

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Farted

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

The gas was released and mayhem followed

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Let’s get out of here and try a club

I’m sick of this circus said doris

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Ethel said how the fuck we gonna have an adventure if your boring and don't want to meet new people so they invited

Katie

Jamie

Lucy

Becky

Mick

Nick

Bera

Colin and

Viola to...

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Eat apples and along came

Betty with the big..

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

sweaty petticoat and her husband Frank wearing his trademark raincoat and beret. He flashed open his coat to reveal ...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 07/08/21 16:28:05]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

That some mothers really do have em because Frank had an enormous

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Pumpkin hidden

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Under his beret. Doris hit it with her shoe and made that butternut squash.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

The one they all loved way back when merle and pearl were prostitutes

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

So off they all went for an interesting adventure in the club

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

To club zanzilooloo it was a ...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Fetish club for people who liked being tickled on the arse with

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Wig

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

and feather dusters

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

And then sang it's the way you make me feel when your standing next to me

In a very high pitched voice so high that...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All the glass dildos shattered

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Good job I brought spares said Doris

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

They showed the doorman their Double Jabbed status on their i-phones and entered Club Zanzilooloo. The first thing they saw was ...

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

An octopus singing opera and...

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

they put on their glasses and saw it was on a giant screen - Dame Kiri te Canawa in a tentacle sex porn video.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Singing I dreamed a dream then

Suddenly

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

the stage curtains swished open and under the flood lights they could see ...

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Penguin's heckling

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

quick, throw them a fish, that'll keep them quiet

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Ethel grumbled "I thought we were here for fetish not fish. Let's go have a wander and see if there is something here to tickle our fancy"

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

I’m sure we will find someone who fancies us down here in the dungeons

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Doris said "Ethel, I think you might have more of a chance in the dark room"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Which upset Ethel so when they got to the dungeon she arranged for Doris to be chained up and smacked on the bum with

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Bread roll...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Covered in butter and jam. This attracted a swarm of bees into the dungeon so everyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Went for a skinny dip in the jacuzzi were they’d be safe

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

But unfortunately there was a baby shark in the jacussi and it started singing that awful song and then nibbling Doris on the

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nuts she’d hidden from the one-eyed squirrel from episode #7

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Suddenly the one eyed squirrel reappeared and started wrestling with the baby shark ! Mon dieu, said Ethel, this is like the Discovery Channel not a sex club.

Doris grabbed her nuts and left

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ethel chased after Doris shouting “Don’t go we! We love your nutz!”

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

But Doris ran like the wind our of the club, followed by Ethel, Dave, the one eyed squirrel, baby shark and 4000 angry bees. But they all stopped when they saw a

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

12 legged ostrich

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Which was handy as there was a leg for everyone, so they all chased the big bird until

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

3 in the morning and by that time

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Medusa arrived

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And all the snakes from her head started fighting with baby shark and then the squirrel ran up Ethel's

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Arsehole

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Where it lived happily ever after, The End.

And so a new story began one afternoon on the seafront at Southend where

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Milly and silly ate

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Milly and silly ate"

Milly and skilly

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Chips with Doris and Ethel and said this is the life ! No dirty men trying to get their hands on our

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Bumholes but we fart to protect our selves

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And also Ethel keeps a squirrel up her bum which helps. What a great idea said Silky, I'd like to get a

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

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"And also Ethel keeps a squirrel up her bum which helps. What a great idea said Silky, I'd like to get a "

Rat

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

To live in my pants and scare men off. Milly said well I've got a rabbit I could lend you ?

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

The rabbit has magic powers..

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

But don’t want to give to many secrets away as yet

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

The suprise will be even better when juju the laughing otter...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Shows you her otter's pocket.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

The suprise was that it had dried out and the hair was matted.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

So the shaved her..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Eyebrow and painted them back on with a marker pen which made her look just like

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By *leasebegentleCouple
over a year ago

Longfield

Doris.

Could do with some pink lippy though said Ethel sneakily laughing.

Give me that…

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Reg paint and a brush. I'll soon get those lips bright and

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Juicy so you can

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By *leasebegentleCouple
over a year ago

Longfield

Lick those lips.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Lick those lips."

And suck on

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Strawberry and blueberries

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

From between my boobs. But all of a sudden Dave appeared with big news ! The police were coming to arrest everyone for

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The theft of the Mona Lisa which had gone missing when they were all in France.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

There was a thud as the Mona Lisa fell out from under Ethel's petticoat. It landed on the floor in a pool of wee as Ethel was so shocked the police were coming for her. Doris said ...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

You've pissed her right off, Ethel, she's not smiling now ! Ethel picked up the priceless artwork and tried to run off but

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By *leasebegentleCouple
over a year ago

Longfield

Her stockings fell down and as she slipped on her piss.

She landed hard on the ground and broke her…

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Picture of the Mona Lisa even tho they never went to France in the first place

What a farse

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Rêné suddenly reappeared and grabbed the painting. "That ees not ze Mona Lisa you deepsteecks. Eet is ze Fallen Madonna with the big boobies"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Allo, allo said Doris, how did you get here? Someone sent me a French letter said Rene, and inside it said

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

something illegible as it was full of semen. Or as we say in France, le jizz.

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By *igsy8Man
over a year ago

Accrington

however, le jizz was carefully lapped up. Rene without fear of indigestion had uncovered two words of the French letter, they read.

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Lick me

Doris and Ethel decided to nip to the chippy

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

For cod, chips and mushy peas twice. Dave wanted a battered sausage but Doris said

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By *igsy8Man
over a year ago

Accrington

Now Dave cant you see the sausage has suffered abuse!!! And you want to eat it.

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Why not said Dave

I’m fookin starving and you haven’t offered us owt yet

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So Dave started nibbling on his battered sausage while Doris and Ethel sucked on their fish fingers. Everyone was happy until

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

They heard the floor boards freaking upstairs

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Creaking even

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Heavy footsteps came slowly down the stairs and then the door was flung open to reveal ...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The elephant from the circus in the last thread ! He loved fish and chips and had walked all the way from France to get a taste of Ethel's

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

pickled egg. His long trunk reminded Ethel of ...

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By *igsy8Man
over a year ago

Accrington

The good old days when

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

She would water her begonias with Dave's enormous nose and he would get so excited he'd

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

'hose'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Take his Ford Cortina for a blast round town and stop for an ice cream on the prom.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

In those days Dave was quite a catch so when he asked for a 99 the woman serving asked if he’d prefer a

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Screwball. Dave always said yes although he found it painful. These days he preferred ...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

To lick on Ben or Jerry's, depending on which one was available.

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By *igsy8Man
over a year ago

Accrington

although jerry's tasted of berries in Daves opinion and so.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

He generally preferred Ben's. There was nothing he liked better than spooning

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Out every last drop

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

then giving it a good long licking before ...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Dipping his finger deep inside. Meanwhile, Doris and Ethel had finished their fish supper and were walking towards

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

the litter bin to dispose of their greasy chip wrappers. They noticed something or someone hidden behind the bin. It was...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Len Goodman, their old friend !! Hello Len said Doris, how the hell are you ?

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

And why are you hiding behind the bin ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Keep it quiet but I've been recruited by MI8 as a special agent and I'm carrying out undercover surveillance on

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

the chip shop man. We think he's Lord Lucan and is serving up battered deep fried Shergar.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And there's a man works down the chip shop swears he's Elvis.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Ethel asked "Len, have you stopped taking your medication ? "

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

No said Len, I take 8 Pils in the morning and 6 at night. They make me very

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Lightheaded but I keep doing things that I can’t renember

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Such as where I left my trousers! He came out from behind the bin to reveal he only wore superman y-fronts and a string vest. Well said Ethel,

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By *igsy8Man
over a year ago

Accrington

Taking fashion tips from Rab C Nesbitt now are we, Len blushed reached into the bin and produced a pair of tap tools and with tears welling in his eyes.

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

He moved the onion peelings to one side to fish out an old pair of trousers just to put him on

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Once I was famous" said Len. Tears started to roll down his cheeks. Was it his emotional memories of the past or the onion peelings in the bin ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Unfortunately there were ants in those pants and Len began to itch and twitch uncontrollably. Look ! said Doris, he's dancing again just like the old Len !

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Yea but what a shite performance said Ethel

I think he is past his prime

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Yes" said Doris, "he's a prime example of a has-been. Not a patch on Sean Bean".

"Or Mr Bean" said Ethel "Do you remember when he ...

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Put that stupid Turkey on his head

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

And sang that song

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

About Christmas? Something about Santa Coming Down the Chimney ?

Yes, said Doris, and his big sack.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Full of frogs

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Because in France they eat frogs legs for Christmas. How disgusting said Ethel, I'd never put something long and slimey down my

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Drain

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Pipe, I'd rather neck it down my throat and see what happens next. Oh no, said Ethel, I prefer sucking on

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By *igsy8Man
over a year ago

Accrington

a lovely large didgeridoo

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Well said Doris, I knew you liked going down under. But Ethel got upset at this and called Doris a

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Kangaroo

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

With a smelly bum. The ladies were about to start wrestling when Dave showed up with his battered sausage and announced

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

He was gay

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And was moving in with Len Goodman that very day.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

To hug each other

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And so they had a group hug

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

And danced around the corner

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

In a long conga until they reached

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

London

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By *igsy8Man
over a year ago

Accrington

wearing souvenir cork hats from down under

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

They stopped in Westminster and Doris said, Is that Big Ben ? Ethel replied, no, that's just

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

My nose

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

That's got sunburn. Dave started to run some cream on it but

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Ran away to

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Live in a cave in Cheddar Gorge where he met a

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Cheddar crisp

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By *leasebegentleCouple
over a year ago

Longfield

Looking guy.

Very tasty he thought.

I could do with nibbling his…

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Toe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tracking had caused Dave to illuminate. Fantasising about Doris gorgeous painted toes as he sucked on the crisp. The thought of rubbing Ethel nose came next as he tasted the salt in his mouth, when suddenly…

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

The lockness monster appeared from

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By *igsy8Man
over a year ago

Accrington

Ethels nose. Excuse me she exclaimed, I don't usually

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Have such big bodies. Luckily the monster was friendly and took a real shine to Doris, licking her all over

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Then doing the tango and cha cha cha with her before

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Len stepped in and said you must appear on Strictly Cum Dancing, you're a natural!!

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

But len was secretly

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Wearing a yellow wig so..

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

everyone would think he was Barbie.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"everyone would think he was Barbie.

Sally your brilliant xx

Anyway leoblooms appeared and said I like sucking huge...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Lozenges when you have a sore throat, but sometimes you prefer to suck a Fisherman's Friend. Meanwhile...

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"everyone would think he was Barbie.

Sally your brilliant xx

Anyway leoblooms appeared and said I like sucking huge..."

Hose it was just part of the good flow between us he cried then..

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Lozenges when you have a sore throat, but sometimes you prefer to suck a Fisherman's Friend. Meanwhile..."

He cried

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Our 'Who's that coming round the corner!' Doris screamed and said

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Duh duh duh

Itssss

Bahuma..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Oh Bahuma, they all said, how we've missed you ! But the lock Ness monster got jealous and bit Bahuma on her

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

[Removed by poster at 14/08/21 11:24:30]

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Oh Bahuma, they all said, how we've missed you ! But the lock Ness monster got jealous and bit Bahuma on her "

Burger

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

That he'd bought from Wendys in the other thread. Now Essex Tom appeared and demanded his thread back but Bahuma said

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Said eat my pork chop..

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

This will be all over the news

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"This will be all over the news"

Trump news

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Makes it up but I don't. Watch out, said Tom, I think I see a shark coming out of Lidl!

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

[Removed by poster at 14/08/21 11:36:29]

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Makes it up but I don't. Watch out, said Tom, I think I see a shark coming out of Lidl!"

Dressed as irana irana

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Makes it up but I don't. Watch out, said Tom, I think I see a shark coming out of Lidl!

Dressed as irana irana"

Then one day they they told them that they loved them they had them selves to blame...

When

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

But it was definitely a shark and it started chasing Tom down the High Street in revenge for all the awful things he'd said about its family.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"But it was definitely a shark and it started chasing Tom down the High Street in revenge for all the awful things he'd said about its family."

Prawns maam

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Said the butler to Doris. Where did you come from she asked?

I was hiding under

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

The cock

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Tail bar until the shark had gone. Oh lovely, said Ethel, I'll have a White Russian with a little

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

fur hat dancing the Cossack.

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