FabSwingers.com forum: Arrested and charged

By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

The person above has been arrested by the police.

But the big question is what are they being charged with and a brief description of the offence.

The funniest most ridiculous crime wins a curly wurly

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The person above has been arrested by the police.

But the big question is what are they being charged with and a brief description of the offence.

The funniest most ridiculous crime wins a curly wurly "

Playful Sam was arrested for stealing Curly Wurlys from Tesco. He was caught brown handed with over 40 bars on his person as he walked out of the store without paying. He got out on bail and rumours it he is trying everything to give away the Curly Wurlys he previously stole.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

Sirius was arrested for attempting to cross the Irish Sea in a dinghy made of empty water bottles with a labrador strapped to the bow as a motor.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

[Removed by poster at 30/12/20 16:47:13]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sirius was seen on CCTV doing a truffle shuffle down the middle of Lidl

On extraction they pulled out;

An ironing board

An egg poacher

A step ladder

Gok Wan's cook book

A 5 piece pan set

A duvet cover

A two man tent

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

"Sirius was arrested for attempting to cross the Irish Sea in a dinghy made of empty water bottles with a labrador strapped to the bow as a motor."

Not so posh was actually Cornish royalty until losing everything in a bit coin venture that saw her lose everything but the cloths she was in and her pet pot bellied pig

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sam was caught pinching last rolo from golden wonder.. crime in itself but chocolate from a lady needs 10 slaps too

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

D*unk in charge of a hedgehog

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"D*unk in charge of a hedgehog

Illegal fishing with those nets on.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

caught d*unk trying to roll yellow lines up on street

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oss and BitchCouple
over a year ago

London

Minnie the Minx has been arrested in connection with gross indecency in a public place...the alledged incident involved prolonged lesbian sexual activities in front of a crowd of onlookers on the Mersey Ferry. Witnesses say that a voluptuous naked black woman had been tied to the stern of the ferry and Minnie was repeatedly pushing a large dildo into her anus. The woman in question,identified as "Bitch", has refused to press charges and was heard telling the police "I'll be coming here tomorrow for another session"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

"Minnie the Minx has been arrested in connection with gross indecency in a public place...the alledged incident involved prolonged lesbian sexual activities in front of a crowd of onlookers on the Mersey Ferry. Witnesses say that a voluptuous naked black woman had been tied to the stern of the ferry and Minnie was repeatedly pushing a large dildo into her anus. The woman in question,identified as "Bitch", has refused to press charges and was heard telling the police "I'll be coming here tomorrow for another session""

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

Stealing a penguin from the zoo and extremely disappointed that she hadn't freed a little person in a tuxedo

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *estless nativeMan
over a year ago

near Glasgow

Playfulsam was arrested after police found his house full of wading birds.

Fowl play was suspected, but Sam claimed he was only trying to teach them to speak like Donald duck

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

[Removed by poster at 30/12/20 19:01:59]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

RestlessNative was arrested for black mailing the PTA of his old school. His nefarious plot was a carefully conceived multistage affair. Initially he wanted the results of the 20M egg and spoon race amended so that he came first after being robbed in the initial run. The next step in his scheme was to use this addition to the list of achievements on his CV as a means of impressing the HR department when he applied for a job minding the nuclear codes. Egg and spoon race today, nuclear domination the next day. Fortunately the PTA stood firm against him

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tina was arrested for speeding whilst on her flying carpet.

She failed to stop and led the police on a wild goose chase whilst deploying glitter as a flare.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

Wearing her Nurses outfit in Tesco and shouting "who wants the vaccine?"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

"Wearing her Nurses outfit in Tesco and shouting "who wants the vaccine?""

Locking themselves inside portable toilets and pretending to be daleks by shouting exterminate, exterminate at passers by

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

Stealing a car battery ...

If it had been fireworks they'd have been let off

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Wearing her Nurses outfit in Tesco and shouting "who wants the vaccine?"

Locking themselves inside portable toilets and pretending to be daleks by shouting exterminate, exterminate at passers by"

Swimming naked backstroke. Shouting Periscope up! when his cock gets hard. Then shouting Tharrrrrrrrr be Moby Dick , when he spurts cum skyward and passing his hat around for donations.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Stealing a car battery ...

If it had been fireworks they'd have been let off

Killing a 33 year old woman by pinning her through the arse to the table !

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rhugesMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

Arrested for having an unavailable profile on this thread

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Having awful chat up lines

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ent in BlackMan
over a year ago

Silsden

"Having awful chat up lines "

Having awesome tits

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

"Having awful chat up lines

Having awesome tits"

Objectifying women in a built up forum

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Thread killing

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

"Thread killing "

Story of my life

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

"Thread killing

Story of my life

And mine x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Arrested due to being the 'Sauce Wars Instigator'

A fierce battle broke out due to declaring brown sauce was better on a bacon sandwich than red sauce.

The ensuring battle was messy but the ringleader of the Brown Sauce Massive was finally apprehended.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Speeding in a mobility scooter and going "offroad" to avoid arrest

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rhugesMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

Arrested for having an over active imagination

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Arrest for ending the experiment before it completed.

You were supposed to wait for the full transformation process.

Igor what have you done?

Igor what has become of you?

Igor!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ozapperMan
over a year ago

Lancashire

"Arrest for ending the experiment before it completed.

You were supposed to wait for the full transformation process.

Igor what have you done?

Igor what has become of you?

Igor!"

Arrested for leaving Fab but rehabitated for deciding to come back... and having a magnificent set of legs and bum!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Arrest for ending the experiment before it completed.

You were supposed to wait for the full transformation process.

Igor what have you done?

Igor what has become of you?

Igor!

Arrested for leaving Fab but rehabitated for deciding to come back... and having a magnificent set of legs and bum!

Arrested for being a smooth operator

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Caught running away in peep toes after robbing a stockings factory.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

"Caught running away in peep toes after robbing a stockings factory. "

Arrested, post Covid, on suspicion of cattle rustling. Released when it became apparent the cattle were a group of cosplaying fur lovers and they were merely shepherding them on their way. During the arrest, the squad car mysteriously found its way into their garage and has never been seen since

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

"Caught running away in peep toes after robbing a stockings factory.

Bought up on charges fir not having a TV licence.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *00KissesCouple
over a year ago

Stourbridge

Arrested for hosting the best new year eve party of 2020..

So many beautiful guests the neighbours were jealous and reported the debauchery..

Was it worth it?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Arrested by the time travelling police who caught up with them in the year 2731.

They tried to infiltrate the headquarters of the flying octopus overlords in order to gain insight into pleasures of the future.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Arrested by MI5 on account of seducing the Prime Minister and running the country in secret from bed

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Arrested on account of filling his front room with scatter cushions, scented candles, bowls with little stones in them and figurine ornaments that serve no purpose.

Shame on you sir.

Shame on you!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Arrested on account of filling his front room with scatter cushions, scented candles, bowls with little stones in them and figurine ornaments that serve no purpose.

Shame on you sir.

Shame on you!"

I’m not even sorry.....I like my house to be comfy and smell nice

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Arrested on account of filling his front room with scatter cushions, scented candles, bowls with little stones in them and figurine ornaments that serve no purpose.

Shame on you sir.

Shame on you!

I’m not even sorry.....I like my house to be comfy and smell nice

Sniffing someone's bum with out asking them

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Arrested for wrongfully accusing someone of unsolicited bum sniffing.....it was completely consensual

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Handling swollen goods

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Putting the bins out on the wrong day, whst wearing a Mankini

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oomarangMan
over a year ago

Chester

Smuggling tea into China under her bra and bum crack

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Arrested for hiding in the bushes and firing eggs from a catapult at unsuspecting victims

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arriLadMan
over a year ago

North West

Battered someone with a 9inch suction dildo

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oomarangMan
over a year ago

Chester

Trying to put red diesel in a two stroke petrol scooter to go to work

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Arrested for taking a 500 mile round trip to Barnard Castle to check his eye sight was good enough to drive

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Arrested for throwing a funny shaped stick at someone

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

Caught speeding around meadowhall in a stolen little tykes car

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Caught racing me round Meadowhall in a little tykes car

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Caught speeding around meadowhall in a stolen little tykes car "

Arrested for fondling sprouts in Tesco and claiming to be trialling an invisible face mask.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Misrepresentation and hiding her profile!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

Carrying a silhouette into an office meeting.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otPrinceHarryMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Carrying a silhouette into an office meeting.

Petty theft, performed prettily. Like Catwoman.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Naked bank robbery

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Caught scrumping for apples in the Sgt’s orchard

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

"Carrying a silhouette into an office meeting.

Petty theft, performed prettily. Like Catwoman."

Impersonating Prince Harry. Waking up in Megan’s bed and shouting “the bloody press are at it again, orff with their heads”.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Caught scrumping for apples in the Sgt’s orchard "

I was never caught

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otPrinceHarryMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Carrying a silhouette into an office meeting.

Petty theft, performed prettily. Like Catwoman.

Impersonating Prince Harry. Waking up in Megan’s bed and shouting “the bloody press are at it again, orff with their heads”."

The awful thing is that I might enjoy executing the press more than waking up next to Megan!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

"Carrying a silhouette into an office meeting.

Petty theft, performed prettily. Like Catwoman.

Impersonating Prince Harry. Waking up in Megan’s bed and shouting “the bloody press are at it again, orff with their heads”.

The awful thing is that I might enjoy executing the press more than waking up next to Megan!"

Stood in ALDI's middle aisle wearing nothing but a mask & a cucumber up his bum, singing "I feel pretty, oh so pretty"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pegging a dead midget

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Pegging a dead midget"

Preparing said midget

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

"Pegging a dead midget

Preparing said midget

Attempting to revive said midget

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oomarangMan
over a year ago

Chester

Farting god save the queen with his pants around his ankles outside no10 then suddenly getting the runs

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Beastiality

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oomarangMan
over a year ago

Chester

Wearing socks and sandals in weatherspoons

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Arrested nipping women's bottoms and running away in fast forward motion whilst honky tonk piano music played in the background

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Arrested nipping women's bottoms and running away in fast forward motion whilst honky tonk piano music played in the background"

Shoplifting from asda

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

"Arrested nipping women's bottoms and running away in fast forward motion whilst honky tonk piano music played in the background

Shoplifting from asda"

D*unk in charge of a Pedalo on the local duck pond

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Arrested for secretly marrying a chicken. The village elders exiled you from the village and forced you to wander the wilderness for 40 years.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

"Arrested for secretly marrying a chicken. The village elders exiled you from the village and forced you to wander the wilderness for 40 years."

Arrested for not mentioning Last of the Summer Wine when one of her friends said they were going to Holmfirth. Sentenced to roll down a hill in a tin bath, but whilst wearing a tiara in pink gold

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Arrested for secretly marrying a chicken. The village elders exiled you from the village and forced you to wander the wilderness for 40 years.

Arrested for not mentioning Last of the Summer Wine when one of her friends said they were going to Holmfirth. Sentenced to roll down a hill in a tin bath, but whilst wearing a tiara in pink gold

Arrested for trying to catch a pigeon, but your wonderful device that took half an hour to assemble backfired and caught yourself instead, making it easy for the police to arrest you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *carlet_woman_xxWoman
over a year ago

somewhere

Streaming down Whitby town shouting look at my piss flaps

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

"Arrested for secretly marrying a chicken. The village elders exiled you from the village and forced you to wander the wilderness for 40 years.

Arrested for not mentioning Last of the Summer Wine when one of her friends said they were going to Holmfirth. Sentenced to roll down a hill in a tin bath, but whilst wearing a tiara in pink gold

Stealing a child’s party balloons, and denying knowledge of the whereabouts

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *carlet_woman_xxWoman
over a year ago

somewhere

"Arrested for secretly marrying a chicken. The village elders exiled you from the village and forced you to wander the wilderness for 40 years.

Arrested for not mentioning Last of the Summer Wine when one of her friends said they were going to Holmfirth. Sentenced to roll down a hill in a tin bath, but whilst wearing a tiara in pink gold

Stealing a child’s party balloons, and denying knowledge of the whereabouts

Arrested for being loud and crass at the queen's tea party. How they got an invite in the first place deludes me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Arrested for secretly marrying a chicken. The village elders exiled you from the village and forced you to wander the wilderness for 40 years.

Arrested for not mentioning Last of the Summer Wine when one of her friends said they were going to Holmfirth. Sentenced to roll down a hill in a tin bath, but whilst wearing a tiara in pink gold

Stealing a child’s party balloons, and denying knowledge of the whereabouts

Arrested for being loud and crass at the queen's tea party. How they got an invite in the first place deludes me

Arrested for entering the teleportation device in the hope of a beautiful trip to Hawaii, but instead materialised as Donald Trump's wig due to a malfunction with the coordinate circuits and caught by The White House security.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Arrested for secretly marrying a chicken. The village elders exiled you from the village and forced you to wander the wilderness for 40 years.

Arrested for not mentioning Last of the Summer Wine when one of her friends said they were going to Holmfirth. Sentenced to roll down a hill in a tin bath, but whilst wearing a tiara in pink gold

Stealing a child’s party balloons, and denying knowledge of the whereabouts

Arrested for being loud and crass at the queen's tea party. How they got an invite in the first place deludes me

Cindi tell them how criminal my amzingly goid dancing is lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

Arrested for Dad dancing

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Arrested for not appfeciating my rhythm

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Arrested for not appfeciating my rhythm "

I habd myself in for bad spelling

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Arrested for flying a 747 without the proper qualifications.

Completing your training on a PS2 and having a pilots licence you had coloured in from the back of a cereal box was not sufficient.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arbarianzCouple
over a year ago

BARNSTAPLE

"Arrested for flying a 747 without the proper qualifications.

Completing your training on a PS2 and having a pilots licence you had coloured in from the back of a cereal box was not sufficient."

Arrested for trying to milk the rocking elephant at the kids playground and then climbing in a tree claiming to be a squirrel.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Jay walking in garish leggings.

Colourblindness is not a defence

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ealthy_and_HungMan
over a year ago

Princes Risborough, Luasanne, Alderney

arrested and charged for sedating their animals whilst attempting to break the internationally televised ferret legging world record in Kyrgyzstan. on closer inspection the ferrets turned out to be a brace of ladies stoles made from fun-fur bought from the Aylsbury branch of Cats Protection charity which then had some discarded false teeth badly sellotaped to the ends ... the stoles not the cat protection charity branch in aylsbury.

the judge has refused bail siting a danger that the defendent may abscond

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naquest321Man
over a year ago

Carlisle

Arrested and charged for lying twice about his user name.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wearing a loud shirt in a built up area during the hours of darkness.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arriLadMan
over a year ago

North West

Got caught smuggling creme eggs in his undies with intent to distribute

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Was running around naked doing the helicopter

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Was caught flashing men and being too sexxxy

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Was caught flashing men and being too sexxxy "

Caught urinating in the ladies bathroom sink

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he AmbassadorMan
over a year ago

IRLANDA. / Prague. / Cil Dara

Caught smuggling buggies out of a carpet showroom,

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Caught trying to catch pigeons in Trafalgar Square because he wanted them as pets.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

International budgie smuggler and convicted anaconda worrier. On parole for passing roasted marshmallows off as porcupine embryos

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Smuggling in counterfeit Mexican toothpaste.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Smuggling in counterfeit Mexican toothpaste. "

Ta_olgate.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Wearing a counterfeit loud shirt in a built up area.

Confiscated

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ookMan
over a year ago

london

Wanted for Crimes against hats...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iscreet-is-paramountMan
over a year ago

travel around a lot.

Stuck in black and white ....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Exposing yourself and not being discreet

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Caught on cameral exposing yourself despite trying to hide the evidence.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Another caught with fake merchandise.

Clip on bow ties are a fab faux pas

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Illegally supplying sombreros for the Mexican cartel

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby

"Illegally supplying sombreros for the Mexican cartel

For trying to sabotage Boris in the Lockdown announcement yesterday

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Phantom raspberry blower of old London Town

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After paying Colgate the ransom money. Niel Tennent from the Pet shop boys got some of his live show costume hats back. Following his later arrest. Colgates barrister claimed his client just couldn't resist criminal opportunities.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

"After paying Colgate the ransom money. Niel Tennent from the Pet shop boys got some of his live show costume hats back. Following his later arrest. Colgates barrister claimed his client just couldn't resist criminal opportunities."

For claiming that Robin of Sherwood wasn't the best Robin Hood on telly. Sentenced to 3 hours in the stocks in Nottingham without lube

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tina Titz was found guilty of skinning a cheatah for her new tight fit top. Poor sods freezing now.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sameworlddifferentplannet was arrested for walking around with a rock on his head, when questioned he said his name was Cliff

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Same world was arrested for selling yellow snow, last seen shouting you're taking the piss...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby

for been so fit that he couldn't fit the task he mentioned he was up for

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Running through Wilco naked singing "I'm a little Teapot"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Under the alias of Moany the Monk was defrocked and sentenced to fifty lashes for kicking Bishop Brennan up the arse

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

"Under the alias of Moany the Monk was defrocked and sentenced to fifty lashes for kicking Bishop Brennan up the arse"

Mmmn, 50 lashes sounds good

Caught wearing inappropriate headwear in a built up area

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

Caught after escaping from the pages of the Beano with Dennis the Menace

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Caught using their fishnets trying to nab the Lock Ness Monster

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

"Caught using their fishnets trying to nab the Lock Ness Monster"

Caught behind the potting shed with Alan Titchmarsh.

He was inspecting her rose apparently

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ookMan
over a year ago

london

...Has broken quarantine rules and swam to sunny place ( forgetting to wear a mask)... and for looking smug. Sentence is 8 weeks of lockdown

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Blatant nipple flashing during lockdown

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Stealing the hubcaps from Pat Mustards milk float while he was delivering the double cream

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

In breach if copyright law as his real name is Oral B.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

Claim to not like Golf, but played crazy Golf in Great Yarmouth

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

"Claim to not like Golf, but played crazy Golf in Great Yarmouth

Arrested for spying on us in Great Yarmouth.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Caught using their fishnets trying to nab the Lock Ness Monster

Caught behind the potting shed with Alan Titchmarsh.

He was inspecting her rose apparently "

Poor Titchmarsh

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Probation for flashing her chocolate starfish at jehovas witnesses

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Cucumber and gherkin abuse

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

"Cucumber and gherkin abuse

For playing the recorder badly at the registry office. All marriages were off until she let him go back to work. She claimed diminished responsibility on the grounds of not wearing sufficient leopard print

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

Pulled up by trading standards after breaching regulations on copyright after selling TinsaTits.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Crimes against peanut treats

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Crimes against peanut treats"

Being caught supplying supermarkets with wholesale toothpaste that had been mixed with his semen

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Being caught supplying supermarkets with wholesale toothpaste that had been mixed with his semen"

For beating Captain Crunch to a pulp

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

Charged with impersonating a Saville Row mannequin.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

"Charged with impersonating a Saville Row mannequin."

Making rude words in a restaurant with alphabetty spaghetti

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

"Charged with impersonating a Saville Row mannequin.

Making rude words in a restaurant with alphabetty spaghetti

Charged with impersonating a silhouette

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Charged with impersonating a Saville Row mannequin.

Making rude words in a restaurant with alphabetty spaghetti

Charged with impersonating a silhouette

Being explosively hot!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Smuggling EU cinnamon and ginger into Britain via underpants

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread