Alright team, briefing time. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, involves infiltrating the heavily fortified couples-only strongholds of Cap d'Agde on a vist from 10 June for a week. I am not Ethan Hunt. I am not Tom Cruise. I am a lone wolf, a married man travelling alone with the full consent of his wife, armed with nothing more than a decent smile, a sense of humour, a willingness to explore, a pragmatic approach the life and a bi-curiosity that's been bubbling away like a cheap bottle of plonk.
The objective: Gain entry to at least one of the hallowed couples-only clubs. The ultimate prize: To witness the sights (voyeurism is a beautiful thing), potentially explore my bi-side with adventurous couples and gents, and maybe, just maybe, connect with a single woman or a wonderfully open-minded cuckold couple where the husband gets a thrill from his partner having a separate +1 for the night.
I know what you're thinking. The odds are astronomical. The security is tighter than a gimp suit in a heatwave. This isn't just a long shot; it's trying to win the lottery while being struck by lightning... twice.
But a man can dream, right?
So, I'm putting it out to the seasoned veterans, the spies who've successfully navigated these waters before. Does a single man have a prayer? Is there a secret handshake? A particular brand of speedo that screams "I'm with the band"?
I'm usually a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of guy, preferring spontaneous, in-the-moment connections (hence the unispiring profile). But this mission might require some actual pre-planning. Are there any apps, digital dead-drops, or online contact sites where I might make some pre-arrival contacts? I'm looking for any intel that might turn this from "Mission Impossible" into "Mission Improbable-but-Maybe-Just-Possible."
All advice, however unlikely, is greatly appreciated. This message will not self-destruct in five seconds, but my dignity might if I spend the whole week being politely turned away at the door.
Over and out.  |
