FabSwingers.com forum: Ignorance

By *ippy68 OP Man
over a year ago

Weymouth

Please can someone explain to me why someone who views my profile after I contact them then refuses to respond after I very politely ask them if they can just say one way or the other whether there’s a chance of meeting and then they continue to keep looking at my profile without responding? I have been so polite when contacting this particular lady and others but they refuse to answer. Am I the only one who finds it rude? All I want is a yes or no that way then I won’t bother them again. It’s just so frustrating and a constant niggle/annoyance I have with this site. Why should this be allowed or accepted? Sorry for being a grouch, I really do wish for love, peace, harmony and lots of fab fun for everyone here and a great 2020.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

you can solve this problem by blocking them. If they wanted to meet they would have replied I guess.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they don't reply it's an obvious no surely?

There is no rules to reply.

Also sometimes when you reply you then get...

But...

I only..

I'm. Local...

I'm free now..

What you looking for..

Your so my type...

Anything to start a conversation

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By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

Strange that she keeps looking but I’m guessing she’s not interested

Also strange that a woman a) doesn’t view in stealth and b) keeps looking... usually I barely get time to leave my inbox never mind browse.

Id just move on

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By *abnotfibMan
over a year ago

Sale

"you can solve this problem by blocking them. If they wanted to meet they would have replied I guess."
when you block someone, can they not still look at your profile but not message you?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"you can solve this problem by blocking them. If they wanted to meet they would have replied I guess.when you block someone, can they not still look at your profile but not message you? "

no they can't see your profile.

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By *udewhennudeMan
over a year ago

newport

Never overthink something on here, could be dozens of reasons why they keep looking. I have 3 women/ couples who look at my profile every couple of months for years. They’re not even looking for my type. I just assume they have someone I’ve met on their hotlist and frequently check out who’ve they met.

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By *abnotfibMan
over a year ago

Sale

Alright thanks.

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By *revaunanceCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

"Please can someone explain to me why someone who views my profile after I contact them then refuses to respond after I very politely ask them if they can just say one way or the other whether there’s a chance of meeting and then they continue to keep looking at my profile without responding? I have been so polite when contacting this particular lady and others but they refuse to answer. Am I the only one who finds it rude? All I want is a yes or no that way then I won’t bother them again. It’s just so frustrating and a constant niggle/annoyance I have with this site. Why should this be allowed or accepted? Sorry for being a grouch, I really do wish for love, peace, harmony and lots of fab fun for everyone here and a great 2020.

Hello OP,

Firstly, don't confuse someone looking at your profile with an actual desire to meet. there are many reasons why they may look at your profile, your local, you've come up in a search, they are looking to meet with a friend of yours, they've read a post by you etc etc etc. A look means nothing, there is no indication whether they have looked at your profile for one second, or one long Sunday afternoon when they had to mop the floor after.

However, if you choose to take that one look as a sign to message them then it is possible that they read your message and don't answer for several reasons. Maybe they don't have filters on but don't want to meet with someone of your age, maybe your too far away, or too close. Maybe they aren't into the same things, and maybe they simply aren't interested in you. It is also possible that they haven't yet made up their mind, are too busy at the time, have other meets planned, or are waiting to contact you at a time and date that suits them better.

If they reply, they open themselves up to you forever. Now that might not sound all that bad, but we have people message us 8, 9 even 10 years after we messaged them with a polite no thanks. The site will allow them to bypass any filters we ever set, because we have responded once. Because we once thought we were doing the polite and proper thing and responded with a simple no, we still get messaged by people that clearly have no chance of meeting our profile, and have usually been turned down in the past. Our only option then is to block them entirely, but that is an equally unpopular thing to do for either party.

This has persuaded us to go down the route of not replying, because quite frankly the site rules say that a non reply should be taken as a no thanks, and it means that we wont be then plagued by people that we have declined to meet.

So hopefully that gives you a little insight into the other side of the fence. It's easy to be the guy that says 'I'd never do that' but so many do.

As for why it should be allowed or accepted, well that's simple. It's accepted as it's in the site rules and if you don't want to accept it then you have the right to leave at any point.

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By *revaunanceCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

"you can solve this problem by blocking them. If they wanted to meet they would have replied I guess.when you block someone, can they not still look at your profile but not message you? "

When you block someone they cannot message you or view your profile.

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By *uietlyKinkyUsCouple
over a year ago

midlands

If they look but don't message; they ain't interested.

No response is this sites standard for 'no thank you'

Stay away from your looked at me and concentrate on messages coming in that suit what you seek.

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By *heIcebreakersCouple
over a year ago

Cramlington

1. Maybe they look at your profile because they can't remember who you are. No more complicated than that.

2. Maybe they delete some messages, but not others, then when they feel the need go back through profiles and stuff to work out if you're the answer to tonight's question.

3. Maybe they got your message about giving them a straight answer and they're a bit worried you're going to go all stalkery on them (stalkers are often polite).

4. Maybe they've read this thread and they're doing the actions described in number 3.

5. Maybe they're checking your profile because they think 'if only he didn't come across as so entitled and whiny he'd be ideal....'

You may need to reflect on whetehr the person I'm seeing in this thread is how you want to appear to the world. If it is, disappointment may be your only friend.

Mr Icebreaker

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By *artyanna16200TV/TS
over a year ago

leeds

Infamy infamy!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perhaps they view you as been local ..It happens all the time .Just because someone viewed you doesn't particularly make them interested in you.As GG mentioned earlier about not been on stealth mode. Not all fabbers know about this ..You would be surprised how many of my fab friends didn't know until I told them

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

"
do you buy everything you see in the shop window ? My guess is you dont .

Profiles are there to be viewed are they not ?

Just because shes looked a few times doesnt mean she wants to meet you ,fact shes not replying should be taken as a no and move on

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By *iss Penny TrationWoman
over a year ago

So much to say but I’d like to think common sense would cover it anyway. Basically, that person hasn’t asked you to message them. It is their choice whether to respond or not. They view your profile to see if they are interested. They won’t know without looking will they. Take no response as they aren’t interested. You need to remember that single women and couples are hounded to death on here. We can’t respond to everyone. That’s just how it is

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By *revaunanceCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

"Infamy infamy!"

I bet they've all got it in for you!

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By *ippy68 OP Man
over a year ago

Weymouth

Thanks everyone I see some of the points you make and agree however I still think a bit of courtesy is nice. I accept it’s not going to change so that’s it I guess. As for being “whiny” I don’t get how simply asking a question defines someone. It’s just a question and not a rant/ toys out the prank full on strop. What I have observed here is you can tell the truth and be judged harshly for it and also you can’t be all things to everyone I guess. There’s a lot of choice on here so below average people aren’t going to the top of people’s lists.

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By *iss Penny TrationWoman
over a year ago

"Thanks everyone I see some of the points you make and agree however I still think a bit of courtesy is nice. I accept it’s not going to change so that’s it I guess. As for being “whiny” I don’t get how simply asking a question defines someone. It’s just a question and not a rant/ toys out the prank full on strop. What I have observed here is you can tell the truth and be judged harshly for it and also you can’t be all things to everyone I guess. There’s a lot of choice on here so below average people aren’t going to the top of people’s lists."

And as polite as it may be, you also aren’t entitled to a reply. And that’s how it is

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By *revaunanceCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

Your green arrow shows you should have already understood these points, they have been pointed out to you before.

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By *ollydoesWoman
over a year ago

Shangri-La

Your green arrow shows you should have already understood these points, they have been pointed out to you before. "

Cant get a meet/repy....everyone else fault...the usual blah blah blah

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He wants your ass

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By *ippy68 OP Man
over a year ago

Weymouth

[Removed by poster at 04/01/20 03:28:35]

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By *ippy68 OP Man
over a year ago

Weymouth

Your green arrow shows you should have already understood these points, they have been pointed out to you before.

Cant get a meet/repy....everyone else fault...the usual blah blah blah "

I never said it was anyone’s fault I merely asked a question and made what was a valid point to some anyway. You can’t please everyone all the time. Jeez some of the responses on here are quite rude in themselves let alone the original point. It seems that anyone who posts here is wrong then everyone replying think they know everything and are right.

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By *ippy68 OP Man
over a year ago

Weymouth

Your green arrow shows you should have already understood these points, they have been pointed out to you before. "

I don’t have a clue what you are on about the green arrow and how it works so I can hardly understand something I know nothing about.

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

Your green arrow shows you should have already understood these points, they have been pointed out to you before.

I don’t have a clue what you are on about the green arrow and how it works so I can hardly understand something I know nothing about. "

You may have noticed a green arrow next to everyone's posts.

Click on it. You'll take a trip to the last 35 threads that person's posted on.

It's also known as the green arrow of truth.

Hope that helps.

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By *ippy68 OP Man
over a year ago

Weymouth

Your green arrow shows you should have already understood these points, they have been pointed out to you before.

I don’t have a clue what you are on about the green arrow and how it works so I can hardly understand something I know nothing about.

You may have noticed a green arrow next to everyone's posts.

Click on it. You'll take a trip to the last 35 threads that person's posted on.

It's also known as the green arrow of truth.

Hope that helps."

Thank you

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By *entralscotscpl7Couple
over a year ago

Falkirk

You have answered your own question. So you must understand.

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