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Message etiquette

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hi All,

I see lots of status updates about women getting fed up with guys messaging them multiple times. Fair enough.

Some women delete messages as a polite “not interested”, whilst some will read them with the intent of following up later and for other women, the mere act of not replying is a polite “no thanks”.

How can us men tell the difference in the intentions of an opened, yet not replied to message?

Would the introduction of an etiquette guide line that states “if you are not interested in the sender, delete the message to save on ambiguity” help to clear up people getting persistent messages and to give the sender clarity of intention?

I know it would help me.

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By *lan157Man
over a year ago

a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex


"Hi All,

I see lots of status updates about women getting fed up with guys messaging them multiple times. Fair enough.

Some women delete messages as a polite “not interested”, whilst some will read them with the intent of following up later and for other women, the mere act of not replying is a polite “no thanks”.

How can us men tell the difference in the intentions of an opened, yet not replied to message?

Would the introduction of an etiquette guide line that states “if you are not interested in the sender, delete the message to save on ambiguity” help to clear up people getting persistent messages and to give the sender clarity of intention?

I know it would help me.

"

What does it matter OP ? There is no reply !. Were you thinking of following up with another message if you thought it was an intention for her to follow up your first at a later date but had not done so?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Unless you receive a positive response, assume it's negative. There. Job done. Don't pester.

Or, perhaps, try again later after a reasonable period (weeks or months) using a different tactic.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hi All,

I see lots of status updates about women getting fed up with guys messaging them multiple times. Fair enough.

Some women delete messages as a polite “not interested”, whilst some will read them with the intent of following up later and for other women, the mere act of not replying is a polite “no thanks”.

How can us men tell the difference in the intentions of an opened, yet not replied to message?

Would the introduction of an etiquette guide line that states “if you are not interested in the sender, delete the message to save on ambiguity” help to clear up people getting persistent messages and to give the sender clarity of intention?

I know it would help me.

What does it matter OP ? There is no reply !. Were you thinking of following up with another message if you thought it was an intention for her to follow up your first at a later date but had not done so? "

Exactly that. I have read on many profiles exactly what I said in the OP about ladies returning to the message later or deleting if not interested at all.

At least if it’s deleted you’d know not to message her again in a couple of weeks time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a female, my general approach is this...

If the individual messaging has clearly read my profile and attached the requested face pic, I will always reply with a polite response.

If the message simply says 'hi' and is from a blacked out profile, no pic attached etc, I delete.

If I open a message, and it is left unread, it's either because I will come back to it, or simply don't have time to respond in that moment.

I have received messages several times from the same person over several weeks, despite replies being sent. That results in a block!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone is interested in you, they'll reply

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If someone is interested in you, they'll reply "

So many men cannot understand this simple reality

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By *adame 2SwordsWoman
over a year ago

Victoria, London

As most only have dick pics, there's a whole list of things we go by

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"If someone is interested in you, they'll reply

So many men cannot understand this simple reality"

Yeah. And it should be the start and finish of it. Not second guessing or telling other people how to handle their inbox.

Reply means maybe/yes.

Delete means no or not yet.

Block means no, never.

Anything else... You don't know and can't know, drop it.

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon


"Hi All,

I see lots of status updates about women getting fed up with guys messaging them multiple times. Fair enough.

Some women delete messages as a polite “not interested”, whilst some will read them with the intent of following up later and for other women, the mere act of not replying is a polite “no thanks”.

How can us men tell the difference in the intentions of an opened, yet not replied to message?

Would the introduction of an etiquette guide line that states “if you are not interested in the sender, delete the message to save on ambiguity” help to clear up people getting persistent messages and to give the sender clarity of intention?

I know it would help me.

"

Save yourself the "does she/doesn't she" by deleting a message from your "sent" box...that way you save yourself the heartache.

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By *rx1Couple
over a year ago

South of Bideford, Devon

OP see you are a site supporter, which means you have access to the Supporters private notes tab. Why not use it ?

If you message someone add a little note on their profile (only you can see it)

If they don't respond or give a polite "no thanks" you will know not to message again.

We use it all the time, especially when someone says they have 'just' come across our profile and they have messaged previously

Of course this is only open to site supporters

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"OP see you are a site supporter, which means you have access to the Supporters private notes tab. Why not use it ?

If you message someone add a little note on their profile (only you can see it)

If they don't respond or give a polite "no thanks" you will know not to message again.

We use it all the time, especially when someone says they have 'just' come across our profile and they have messaged previously

Of course this is only open to site supporters"

Or even the notice on the profile that says "you messaged them x (days/weeks/months/years) ago"

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By *lex D.Man
over a year ago

London


"Hi All,

I see lots of status updates about women getting fed up with guys messaging them multiple times. Fair enough.

Some women delete messages as a polite “not interested”, whilst some will read them with the intent of following up later and for other women, the mere act of not replying is a polite “no thanks”.

How can us men tell the difference in the intentions of an opened, yet not replied to message?

Would the introduction of an etiquette guide line that states “if you are not interested in the sender, delete the message to save on ambiguity” help to clear up people getting persistent messages and to give the sender clarity of intention?

I know it would help me."

Nah! Quite happy how things are on this site. We all have a different approach on this site and I try make best of it.

Best of fabbing.

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By *onderstuff73mMan
over a year ago

Brum

I agree with the OP....but, and it’s a huge but, this place is run by women.

The general understanding is that there are 100s of men for every 1 woman on here, so no matter what the etiquette is or should be, if a woman can’t be arsed to reply then she won’t.

I also admit that a lot of the ‘cant be arsed to reply’ attitude comes from the shear amount of messages received and a number of blokes being dickheads and ruining it for the rest of us.

I don’t like it either but women rule so gotta lump it. Delete and move on to the next one, chances are she’ll be lovely...they are out there, I know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If someone is interested in you, they'll reply "

Absolutely this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What is it with certain men that think the female should change what they do in order for it to suit the man?

I’d hate to be a straight woman on here. if they delete a guys message they get abuse, if they leave a message as unread they get abuse, if they tell a guy they’re not interested they get abuse, if they don’t reply to a guy straight away they get abuse.

(Obviously this is not the case all the time but I never understand the logic of guys that seem like they’re entitled to every woman they like)

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"What is it with certain men that think the female should change what they do in order for it to suit the man?

I’d hate to be a straight woman on here. if they delete a guys message they get abuse, if they leave a message as unread they get abuse, if they tell a guy they’re not interested they get abuse, if they don’t reply to a guy straight away they get abuse.

(Obviously this is not the case all the time but I never understand the logic of guys that seem like they’re entitled to every woman they like)"

I was thinking about typing something to this effect last night. Well said.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"As a female, my general approach is this...

If the individual messaging has clearly read my profile and attached the requested face pic, I will always reply with a polite response.

If the message simply says 'hi' and is from a blacked out profile, no pic attached etc, I delete.

If I open a message, and it is left unread, it's either because I will come back to it, or simply don't have time to respond in that moment.

I have received messages several times from the same person over several weeks, despite replies being sent. That results in a block!

"

Thanks. That’s a great and also considerate approach and what my OP was essentially saying. Sometimes ladies don’t have time to respond at that point, so will come back to it as they don’t have time for an instantaneous reply.

A delete is a perfectly clear signal to guys leave well enough alone.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What is it with certain men that think the female should change what they do in order for it to suit the man?

I’d hate to be a straight woman on here. if they delete a guys message they get abuse, if they leave a message as unread they get abuse, if they tell a guy they’re not interested they get abuse, if they don’t reply to a guy straight away they get abuse.

(Obviously this is not the case all the time but I never understand the logic of guys that seem like they’re entitled to every woman they like)"

I think that’s men being arseholes and ANY abuse whatsoever should be a ban and blacklist from the site.

As I said, it’s a matter of etiquette. If an intro message is deleted, I don’t message her again.

If it’s read and not deleted, I may message her again, as she may fall into the “will come back to it” category.

Both men and women on this site should behave with respect and decorum to everyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If someone is interested in you, they'll reply

Absolutely this "

To be fair.. The general consensus is that they are not interested. However ,i know a lot of my single female friends on here get so many messages.They cannot possibly scan through all the messages they receive so end up block deleting. It's so frustrating because they might miss the genuine ones that they are interested in.. So keep trying guys you might just be the message they are looking for but have missed. Do not pester though .. Give it a while between your messages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

EASY ONE = BLOCK AND KEEP BLOCKING....

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By *ucyfur77Woman
over a year ago

Pleasuretown


"If someone is interested in you, they'll reply "

There it is. Quite straightforward really.

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