FabSwingers.com forum: messaging improvements

By *obleton OP Man
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures

I've made no secret of the fact that in my view, while Fab is by far the best swinging site I've been on, it is seriously let down by one thing.

The sheer volume of mail that some members attract seriously detracts from their enjoyment of the site, and in many cases drives members away never to return because they find that so much of their time is taken up with the chore of reading, deleting, their ever-refilling inbox that they never get any breathing space to enjoy the site, all of the other great features and opportunities it offers.

This particularly seems to be the case with new members who join the site and many seem to leave within a short space of time leaving comments on their profiles that they have just been too swamped - mostly with utter crap - that they just had to give up.

As more people.join Fab and the bigger it gets this is only going to get worse, not better, so in my view some action needs to be taken before the site becomes completely unwelcoming for new swingers.

So - enough of the whining - what's the solution?

(btw admin - I'd really appreciate your feedback on this)

All new members will have an inbox limit of 50 unread / replied to emails for the period that the "new" symbol appears on their profile (i think its 2 weeks?)

This is overridden for any members they have added to their friends list or are actively conversing with.

After the 2 week period expires they can then choose to either remove this filter or keep it.

Likewise existing members can choose to add this filter at any time.

Other message filters.

Members who insist on receiving a face pic in the first message can add a filter which will reject any message that does not have a pic attached that is tagged as a face pic

Members who do/don't want to receive a cock pic can add a filter that rejects any message that does/doesn't include a pic that is tagged as a cock pic.

Thoughts?

Feedback?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry I dont agree, the 55th message could have been from the person Id have liked to have been my first contact.

Getting a cock pic on a sex site is a good way of deceiding if you want to converse with a cock or a man, so its all good in my opinion.

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By *obleton OP Man
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures

It occurs to me that there's a slight flaw in my proposal that would still lead to the "ever-refilling" inbox scenario because as soon as 1 message is deleted or read another one could pop up.

So the 50 message limit would work on a 24 hour rollover basis.

So for example new member joins and gets 50 messages in the first 2 hours - at this point they cannot receive any new messages from people they aren't already talking to until midnight the following day.

They reply to 6 and start chatting with those members, so any further messages from them are not counted in the mailbox limit.

Out of the 50 messages, 25 are either read but not replied to or deleted, so at midnight the following day there is space for 25 new messages.

It also occurs to me that this may encourage certain members to spam peoples mailboxes to attract attention and reduce other genuine members chances of getting a message through so we also need a Serial Messenger filter (personally I would have this as a standard feature of the site which operates at all times). This would allow only 1 unread/replied to email to be sent within any 24 hour period, preventing the "why did you delete, why didn't you reply, did you get my message" follow-ups that are such a pain in the arse for so many people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As long as people set their mail filters up properly then I don't think there is any need to have a limit on messages. There already is a filter to block people without pictures from sending messages btw.

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By *obleton OP Man
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures

"Sorry I dont agree, the 55th message could have been from the person Id have liked to have been my first contact.

Getting a cock pic on a sex site is a good way of deceiding if you want to converse with a cock or a man, so its all good in my opinion."

You've completely missed the point - perhaps I didn't explain it properly.

The idea is mainly to give NEW members some breathing space when they first join and an OPTION for existing members who find their message burden ti be onerous - as neither applies to you so you wouldn't be obliged to choose it.

You misread the bit about the picture filters - going by your comment, my suggestion would actually benefit you.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

There is an option for all of the above where new users and old can control their own mailbox how they like.

http://www.fabswingers.com/my/filters

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There is an option for all of the above where new users and old can control their own mailbox how they like.

http://www.fabswingers.com/my/filters

Yep that's what I thought as well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 30/10/11 13:50:31]

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By *obleton OP Man
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures

"As long as people set their mail filters up properly then I don't think there is any need to have a limit on messages. There already is a filter to block people without pictures from sending messages btw. "

What I'm suggesting is slightly different.

While members can block messages from profiles that don't have pics or veris etc, there is (as far as I'm aware) nothing to stop a member who does have those things from sending a picture-less message.

So what this would do is take the sender to a page similar to the other message filter pages which would say something like:

"Sorry - This member has insisted that a face pic is included in your first message to them, please hit the back button on your browser, attach a face pic, and your message will go through"

Make sense?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll change what I said up there ^^ as I didnt realise the filters were so advanced now.

Maybe ALL new members should by default have all the filters set to ON, to stop anyone mailing them (with an obvious explanation when they join on how to disable them).

Steve

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ah got you now thank you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is the message filter page:

Change your filters:

Ages: Any age can mail you

Your preference is for ages 20-45 but you're not blocking other ages from mailing you. Block anyone who isn't 20-45

(you can still be mailed by Single Males, FF Couples, MM Couples, TV/TS/CDs, but according to your account preferences you're not looking to meet them)

Females (yes, they can mail you) Block them

Males (yes, they can mail you) Block them

MF Couples (male and female) (yes, they can mail you) Block them

TV/TS/CD (yes, they can mail you) Block them

FF Couples (two females) (yes, they can mail you) Block them

MM Couples (two males) (yes, they can mail you) Block them

Not verified or (yes, they can mail you) block them

Newbies (yes, they can mail you) block them

Not got public photos on profile (yes, they can mail you) block them

Not a site supporter (yes, they can mail you) block them

If we clicked on all the above, in theory no one could mail us (unless friends and people we have mailed before I think).

Steve

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"I'll change what I said up there ^^ as I didnt realise the filters were so advanced now.

Maybe ALL new members should by default have all the filters set to ON, to stop anyone mailing them (with an obvious explanation when they join on how to disable them).

Steve"

Good idea...or the filters somewhere more prominent on the site.

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By *obleton OP Man
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures

"I'll change what I said up there ^^ as I didnt realise the filters were so advanced now.

Maybe ALL new members should by default have all the filters set to ON, to stop anyone mailing them (with an obvious explanation when they join on how to disable them).

Steve"

I think that would be a good compromise if we weren't to go down the inbox limit route, and it has the added benefit of teaching new members both how to use the filters and that they are there in the first place.

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By *r and mrs sanddancerCouple
over a year ago

BOLDON COLLIERY

"I'll change what I said up there ^^ as I didnt realise the filters were so advanced now.

Maybe ALL new members should by default have all the filters set to ON, to stop anyone mailing them (with an obvious explanation when they join on how to disable them).

Steve

lol then you will get lots of the newbies leaving because the site is crap due to getting no mail

because 90% wont read how to disable the filters

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we never get mail but still here after 3 years lol

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By *j_markCouple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Totteridge/Whetstone

New users have an obvious green "getting started" link at the top of all pages for a week or so which takes them through things they can/should do to improve their experience, including setting their filters.

(Which links to http://www.fabswingers.com/my/getstarted)

So while we can definitely improve on the experience for new users (and we intend to) we're not sure it is as bad as the OP assumes.

Admin x

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By *j_markCouple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Totteridge/Whetstone

"New users have an obvious green "getting started" link at the top of all pages for a week or so which takes them through things they can/should do to improve their experience, including setting their filters.

(Which links to http://www.fabswingers.com/my/getstarted)

So while we can definitely improve on the experience for new users (and we intend to) we're not sure it is as bad as the OP assumes.

Admin x"

One improvement we might make is to more oviously link to the filters page from the mailbox page for new users who are likely to get lots of mail for the first week or so with a relevant sounding like like "Getting too much mail?"

Our view is that having limits on inboxes so that they become "full" isn't the right way to go about it and we'd rather just encourage better use of what allready exists.

As always appreciate the feedback.

Admin x

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By *obleton OP Man
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures

Thanks for your comments admin - good to know you're listening

the only issue I see with the suggestion of an admin message that it might be lost amongst a huge pile of junk mail ..... although I do recall a recent suggestion for separate mailboxes for messages from friends etc ..... perhaps a specific mailbox for admin messages would be useful all round to keep members appraised of site improvements and updates.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

(Which links to http://www.fabswingers.com/my/getstarted)

So while we can definitely improve on the experience for new users (and we intend to) we're not sure it is as bad as the OP assumes.

Admin x"

I don't think the OP is assuming anything more like trying to offer suggestions that may improve the site. Maybe the size of your mailbox could be governed by whether you are a site supporter?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks for your comments admin - good to know you're listening

I suggested a while ago we have separate colours for unread messages.

* Green could be from friends,

* Yellow from those in hotlist (imagine been in chat and saying "mail me" you could add person to your hotlist and their mail would stand out.

* Red for mail from non of the above categorise

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By *j_markCouple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Totteridge/Whetstone

"Thanks for your comments admin - good to know you're listening

Think we've confused ya. We'll do an obvious link on the inbox rather than a PM message for this; we could have it last for a week or so while the user is new and prompt them to sort out their filters.

Admin x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why dont you prevent new users from receiving contacts until they have set up their preferences and account properly aka their message filters.

Once they have done this then they can select to receive mail option.

New members (esp young single fems and young couples) get swamped right from the very off with contacts, and they haven't even had the chance to properly set their account up.

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By *heRainManMan
over a year ago

Warrington & Glasgow

"We'll do an obvious link on the inbox rather than a PM message for this; we could have it last for a week or so while the user is new and prompt them to sort out their filters.

Admin x"
What about just blocking their inbox automatically and auto-inserting a message from The Admin Team explaining what you've done, why, and how they go about setting up their filters?

That way, _they_ can delete the message when they've read and understood it.

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By *obleton OP Man
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures

BTW admin, any feedback on the "serial messenger" filter I suggsted?

I've heard a lot of people complaining about receiving loads of "why didn't you reply / did you delete my message / did you get my message?" type of email.

These messages are at best irritating and at worst upsetting for the member who receives them (I came across a profile just this evening where a member had a status message saying she was receving abusive messages for deleting people's messages without reply) - and they're utterly pointless from the senders POV too.

Surely a time-out after an un-replied-to message is sent would make sense?

I suggested 24 hours, but just a few hours might well be long enough for the sender to have forgotten they ever sent the original message in the first place, or gotten over their little huff by then.

Thoughts?

Feedback?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does the Op realise the extent of the coding that would be needed to set up all the filters, time dependent variables etc. that would be needed? It would not be far short of completely rewriting the mail system as many of the "conditions" would impact on the "normal" mail set up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it ain't broke, don't try to fix it.

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By *j_markCouple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Totteridge/Whetstone

"BTW admin, any feedback on the "serial messenger" filter I suggsted?

I've heard a lot of people complaining about receiving loads of "why didn't you reply / did you delete my message / did you get my message?" type of email.

Surely a time-out after an un-replied-to message is sent would make sense?

I suggested 24 hours, but just a few hours might well be long enough for the sender to have forgotten they ever sent the original message in the first place, or gotten over their little huff by then.

Thoughts?

Feedback?

We think stuff like this is trying to get a bit too clever.

And in all honesty we like to keep things simple.

We're also wary of saying "lots" on this site. You say that you hear lots of complaints about why "didn't you reply/delete/did you get my mail". But that is in the context of half a million messages a day, so we don't know what a "lot" would be in that context.

We also don't know what the unintended consequence would be of trying to implement clever solutions that aren't immediately obvious to users, to what may not be a huge problem (users can always block/report).

In summary, we think your proposal is clever and we'll bear in mind.

Admin x

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By *obleton OP Man
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures

Thanks for your feedback admin.

I appreciate your point about what would constitute a lot of messages in proportion to the overall volume of messages that get sent.

from my pov I get the same feedback from pretty much every single new member I have ever spoken to - too many messages - lots of serial messengers - so from my perspective it seems to be a statistically significant proportion of new members who are having these experiences.

its just a shame that too few new members other than just single guys come on the forums to share the experience of their first few weeks - that might give us more to go on

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By *j_markCouple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Totteridge/Whetstone

"Thanks for your feedback admin.

I appreciate your point about what would constitute a lot of messages in proportion to the overall volume of messages that get sent.

its just a shame that too few new members other than just single guys come on the forums to share the experience of their first few weeks - that might give us more to go on"

What we can do is log some stats about how often this sort of block would trigger, without actually implementing the functionality.

We'll do that as an experiment at some point to gauge potential impact.

Admin x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks for your comments admin - good to know you're listening

I suggested a while ago we have separate colours for unread messages.

* Green could be from friends,

* Yellow from those in hotlist (imagine been in chat and saying "mail me" you could add person to your hotlist and their mail would stand out.

* Red for mail from non of the above categorise

I love that idea so friends don't think your ignoring them. Another site has a icon when it is one off your friends it is useful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

(Which links to http://www.fabswingers.com/my/getstarted)

So while we can definitely improve on the experience for new users (and we intend to) we're not sure it is as bad as the OP assumes.

Admin x"

remembering my first day i did nearly delete my account as the incoming messages were so overwhelming, before you have chance to look at the "getting started" filters on

It was the first hour i got the rudest messages about not replying etc.

I can see why some people leave straight away.

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