FabSwingers.com forum: Safety...The 'Swingfields effect'

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Following the media circus after Swingfields (which we didn't attend) that saw articles and unpixelated photos being published online and in various newspapers around the world, what is the view and recommendations on privacy and safety for Fab members? We all know that a large proportion of Fab profiles are fake, photos get stolen etc. We obviously take the normal precautions of not showing faces on our profile and being careful who you talk to, who sees face pics etc, but can't help feeling exposed. We are not shy about our lifestyle in any way, but unfortunately society at large still thinks otherwise and ultimately it could cost someone their livelihood. We don't want to leave Fab as we enjoy it here, so suppose we are looking at admin for reassurance and maybe some pearls of wisdom.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Apart from not showing face pics, putting up identifiable information such as telephone and Skype etc I don't think there is much more you can realistically do.

Putting any pics on the internet will allow people to download them regardless of their content.

I suppose the biggest tool is common sense, if you feel something isn't right it usually isn't which is what we use, most of the time we've been priced correct in our decision making.

Most clubs ban cameras from play areas, if not the whole building, which is one reason we like them, if your in one and see someone using one report them etc if it's against the rules.

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By *it of fun cplCouple
over a year ago

village between York and Hull

In all honesty nothing is any different on here. The journalists will have been planning what they planned to do for 12 months probably so will no doubt of had a profile on here at some point. There are probably dozens of Journalists on this site and many others. We think it is just a case of taking the normal precautions as you have stated, no face pics and be wary of who you talk too.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

[Removed by poster at 06/07/16 10:50:32]

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By *it of fun cplCouple
over a year ago

village between York and Hull

"To be fair Admin don't organise the festival/ socials/ meets away from the site, they provide a site for us all to arrange fun.

Admin give advice about personal details and pics and safety in the FAQ's."

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

To be fair Admin don't organise the festival/ socials/ meets away from the site, they provide a site for us all to arrange fun.

Admin give advice about personal details and pics and safety in the FAQ's but what we all do after that is up to ourselves

https://www.fabswingers.com/articles/FAQ

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By *ovely_and_HimselfCouple
over a year ago

North of Derby

I'd add, don't have any identifiable play shot pics on the internet

Any face pics we use on here can be found on our vanilla online sites, so plausible deniability could be used

Can't really do that if you can clearly identify who is in a play shot?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'd add, don't have any identifiable play shot pics on the internet

Any face pics we use on here can be found on our vanilla online sites, so plausible deniability could be used

Can't really do that if you can clearly identify who is in a play shot? "

A fair point..

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By *it of fun cplCouple
over a year ago

village between York and Hull

"I'd add, don't have any identifiable play shot pics on the internet

Any face pics we use on here can be found on our vanilla online sites, so plausible deniability could be used

Can't really do that if you can clearly identify who is in a play shot? "

When we send out a face pic we always send one that we have on facebook too for that very same reason.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have to say it's caused us to rethink how we conduct ourselves. I'm sure one of the pics is me but I'm not easily identifiable. We've always used a lot of common sense and had no issues but perhaps have become a little complacent and too trusting. Our filters were already quite tight but will now include unverified people(not a guarantee, I know). We're also looking at the security of some of the clubs and parties we've attended. This has been a distressing wake up call particularly as some of our friends have been far worse affected than we have...I just hope it all blows over without the damage being too far reaching for everyone

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have to say it's caused us to rethink how we conduct ourselves. I'm sure one of the pics is me but I'm not easily identifiable. We've always used a lot of common sense and had no issues but perhaps have become a little complacent and too trusting. Our filters were already quite tight but will now include unverified people(not a guarantee, I know). We're also looking at the security of some of the clubs and parties we've attended. This has been a distressing wake up call particularly as some of our friends have been far worse affected than we have...I just hope it all blows over without the damage being too far reaching for everyone"

Agree...we looked at Swingfields but ultimately there were just too many variables outside our control to feel comfortable attending. Ah what a lovely place the world would have been if people were comfortable enough with who they are to just allow others to do the same (and without tabloids that prey on people's needs to constantly define themselves in relation to others)

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"To be fair Admin don't organise the festival/ socials/ meets away from the site, they provide a site for us all to arrange fun.

Admin give advice about personal details and pics and safety in the FAQ's but what we all do after that is up to ourselves

https://www.fabswingers.com/articles/FAQ"

Indeed. Admin provides the site, and it is our responsibility as to how secure or otherwise we want our profiles to be.

To be fair, although we could be at risk all the time, it was the nature and novelty of the event that caused the problems. Swinging clubs have been around for a while now and, as I am not a celeb or member of the Royal Family, I judge any risk while visiting those to be pretty low.

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By *j_markCouple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Totteridge/Whetstone

We've always advised one simple rule:

Don't add/share anything if you'd be upset if some idiot misused it.

Admin x

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By *enithWoman
over a year ago

closer than you think

If more people admitted to enjoying this lifestyle then I'm pretty sure it would be more accepted ...... Being gay is accepted in society so why not swinging?

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

I've already been outed. Not because of attending an event etc but because someone found my various profiles on certain sites and showed them to all, along with details of my personal life. So I don't really have that fear any more. I usually have face pics on my profile publicly.

But in light of how some people have been horribly violated this past weekend, I've locked down my profile. Just to give myself a bit of control and privacy.

I suppose to try and find a positive over the SF situation, it may encourage others to do a bit of a risk assessment of their own privacy as I've found that I have become more lax as time as gone on.

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By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton

Some journalists are honest while most are sneaky. I run a popular polyamory social in London and an undercover journo visited twice, chatting to members about their lives on the pretext that she was personally interested. This resulted in a rather good article in a well known mainstream magazine but still, my members feel less safe.

As organiser of that group I get weekly requests for interviews, journalists to attend the socials and so on. Most want to write salacious stories for tabloids or less savoury mags.

The media still thinks anyone being non monogamous, including swinging, is fair game. The general public finds stories about us titilating while being told it is disgusting and an outrage, that we are all filthy pervs.

Be careful.

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By *exeterMan
over a year ago

m5 Devon-Somerset border area

A simple water marking in the centre or important area will prevent missuse of any of your pictures.

I was recently ousted by a jealous person at work alongside a bit of bullying.

I had no choice but to bring it up with management and simply pointed out that it would not be acceptable if I was LGBT and I see my sexual preferences had to be classified as no different.

Did the job

We should all be able to pull the same rank in the stakes of discrimination

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Deleted my pics! Going to take your advice and watermark them...thanks everyone

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By *s_4_uCouple
over a year ago

Nottinghamshire

We've hidden ours

at least until this all blows over.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And we are all going to be talking about this again next year because this will happen again we as a lifestyle seem to be of interest to the press. when the next one comes round they will be there again trying to get pics we will be there as well we wouldn't miss it and we know the risk we take but why should they put us of a fantastic weekend

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By *aughty_nymphWoman
over a year ago

Cheltenham

I have had a profile "lockdown".

Luckily I wasn't affected by this but looking at some of the pics, I was right next to the journalists and didn't see an actual camera or phone out.

LGBT have fought for equality and so will we

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have had a profile "lockdown".

Luckily I wasn't affected by this but looking at some of the pics, I was right next to the journalists and didn't see an actual camera or phone out.

LGBT have fought for equality and so will we

Good luck with that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My partner has foolishly shared an image of me today in undies without taking my face off it....needless to say he ain't in my good books!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd add, don't have any identifiable play shot pics on the internet

Any face pics we use on here can be found on our vanilla online sites, so plausible deniability could be used

Can't really do that if you can clearly identify who is in a play shot? "

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By *aughty_nymphWoman
over a year ago

Cheltenham

"I have had a profile "lockdown".

Luckily I wasn't affected by this but looking at some of the pics, I was right next to the journalists and didn't see an actual camera or phone out.

LGBT have fought for equality and so will we

Good luck with that."

I don't why the negative tone...

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By *aughty_nymphWoman
over a year ago

Cheltenham

** I don't see why the negative tone even

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By *s_4_uCouple
over a year ago

Nottinghamshire

"And we are all going to be talking about this again next year because this will happen again we as a lifestyle seem to be of interest to the press. when the next one comes round they will be there again trying to get pics we will be there as well we wouldn't miss it and we know the risk we take but why should they put us of a fantastic weekend"

Tbh we loved the weekend but if they don't get sorted were someone gets fined or sued we won't be going. This is really sad because it means they have won, but we just can't be outed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *ity Slickers PartiesCouple (MM)
over a year ago

Brighton & Hove

As a party organiser I can share with you that organising a large party is hard work. I have organised partied on a ship in the Thames for 300 people and also in a Mansion in Mayfair for 500 people a few times and if you can imagine with the decorations for dedicated themed rooms with bars, canapés and the choreography for the Burlesque show it is not a joke! Why do I do it? Good question... Because I am passionate about it and love doing something stylish in the scene.

The media is interested in demeaning people, in shocking and bad news so it does not come as a surprise that a Swinger Festival with people camping in tents attracts the Media to show people how bad it is... or appear to be... and Bad News make good news.

Despite the fact we are highly criticised for our vetting criteria, and we do emphasise with those people, we are very thorough with whom we welcome to our private parties, they need to be invited, if unknown to us as couples they need to have been verified frequently in their profile but normally is through word of mouth, friends who introduce other friends and so on and we keep a record of whom has introduce who! For single guys we do not welcome any Tom, Dick and Harry but they have to be introduced by a female member or a couple of our club who can vouch for them as Gentlemen in the lounge and Studs in the bedroom as our parties are for women in mind.

People are not require to produce any for of ID at our club but as you will know with Swingfields that did not prove to be water proof, we require a recent clear face and full body picture for our records. First of all to see that you take reasonably good care of yourself and by separating your Face from the Full Body it cannot be publish against you! So the database is simple and safe.

All Members are required to pay in advance and if the Venue is Secret we will send the correct address 48 hours before the due party only to those who have paid to attend, more or less as Swingfields has done (we have been doing this for 20 years now since Fever Parties and subsequently Killing Kittens)

We also we have Hostesses who independently invite and introduce to the Club individual members and they are there on the evening to welcome their guest to introduce with one another and monitor any suspicion if they are journalists... in the very beginning we used to use a gate similar to those used at the airports to detect any hidden cameras, we do not do this anymore as we know who is invited.

We also insist on people to wear masks until Midnight at least to protect those who are famous and prefer to remain anonymous but most importantly we do not have security with the SIA budge at the door we also have undercover security both males and females in the play areas to monitor what's going on... they are themselves naked and party starters but they can remember every single face and what they do and if necessary they call individual people on the side to worn them if they are doing wrong!

We have never had any problems so far, we never stop to learn something every day but we believe our parties are bullet proof!

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By *aughty_nymphWoman
over a year ago

Cheltenham

Sorry to say this and I don't wanna cause an arguement but it does appear as though you're using this unfortunate event with the press to promote your parties City Slickers....

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

We have never had any problems so far, we never stop to learn something every day but we believe our parties are bullet proof!"

Or the press has decided your parties are of no interest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"** I don't see why the negative tone even "

It's not negative it's realistic. People aren't going to stand up and be counted, not in the numbers you'd need anyway. Whilst I would love to see a much greater level of acceptance of our lifestyle, I just can't ever see it happening. LGBT is different to us. We are a choice LGBT isnt. And the press know it.

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By *hestercplCouple
over a year ago

chester

The problem with that is you can reverse look up where images occur online so if you use a Facebook photo often you can reverse search it and it will land you straight on people's Facebook page

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I haven't read all the posts or forums but here is my view.

Consensual sex is not illegal...even as an orgy.

Being open about a lifestyle choice brings something eventually dispels stigma....look how far acceptability of homosexuality has come since the 70's. Out of the group mentality most people don't give two hoots LGBT privately...it's more about what their friends would think if they had gay mates or an experience. I speak from experience of rejection in my youth to now having friends in uniform professions that traditionally would be anti-gay....and met many of them sexually but don't want their mates knowing.

The point I am making if more people stand up and say what's the issue with having multiple sex partners...1-1 or groups...in public or private...it reduces stigma.

I am aware that many employers would not like the publicity of an employee being in the media...and that may threaten employment for some. So being open isn't an option for everyone...

I am open about my lifestyle at work...many are interested now and feel comfortable talking to me about it...so in my way I am educating and normalising it.

I am careful about how I conduct myself...but friends know as well.

This reduces blackmail and embarrassment factors for me.

Next...the security of swingfields and this sight...all we and those who run things is try and reduce risk of infiltration and exposure...but please keep it in context.

Those who organise clubs, sites and events are all amateurs...there is no guarantee of privacy and security.

Plenty of illicit items come through customs, check points, prison and police checks...and they are professionals with equipment....so don't blame the organisers...even MI6 has moles...

What needs to change is the countries' dated view of sex and suppression. That will come if we can stand proud and shrug our shoulders...and educate, bring into the light what is a free pleasure that harms no one if consensual.

Lies and shame makes it an easy target.

This won't be possible for everyone...yet...but one day.

Freedom doesn't come easy...throughout history humans fight to be free of oppression.

My thoughts about the future of any sex festivals etc...is smaller...invites to proven serious players...and sponsorship of new faces by those who can vouch for a person's integrity...this won't be fool proof...but it's a step in harm reduction.

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

I have shut my profile down hidden my face pics to those that I have either met in the club scene and played with or are none friends of people I trust

My football friends know and a lot of my Facebook friends are swingers or ex swingers and not that many work collegues are on Facebook and tbh there usage of illegal substances is far worse lol

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By *abydollxxWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham - Selly oak

"If more people admitted to enjoying this lifestyle then I'm pretty sure it would be more accepted ...... Being gay is accepted in society so why not swinging? "

Swinging is a choice and being gay isn't.

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By *all and ChainWoman
over a year ago

Truro

I've worked in IT for many years at the backbone level.

The problem is that between the average person's expectations and assumptions (all of which may be perfectly reasonable) and what can technically be done and what is done routinely, is a gulf that needs a word other than "vast" to describe it.

The secondary problem is that while digital records of Tom Dick and Harry do not degrade, the technology for processing those records moves ahead apace.

One year facial recognition technology comes of age, so we know it's Tom Dick and Jack, Harry was a pseudonym.

Next year it's a sign or other object in the photo that is matched to google street view and now we have a location too.

The year after we can effectively process all that old credit and debit card transaction data, so we know what day and date Tom Dick and Jack were at that location.

The year after that Jack's health insurance tells him to fuck off, because Tom had HepB and HIV diagnosed the week after that photo was taken.

Face it, how many people today look at EXIF info in pics, or assume that nobody is going to post process the image to bring up details that the poster was not aware of...

Textual analysis will tell you who is writing something male half here, so you always get an ellipsis somewhere, he indoors it would be exclamation marks.

I know, I'll just down load this great free game for my phone that requires access to my camera roll, contacts list, sms records, kik records, whatsapp records, facebook account, twitter account and email.

What could possibly go wrong.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I am lost now

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By *onnie and JohnCouple
over a year ago

andover

"I am lost now"

think he's referring to big brother and the programs they use to track a person..connie x

google .. What is Stingray technology

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By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

"Deleted my pics! Going to take your advice and watermark them...thanks everyone

I watermarked one of mine after having experienced someone posting my pics as theirs but it was deleted as watermarking is against the rules. I see so many others watermarked with their username in. Not sure why some ok and others not. Surely admin this is a good safety feature? Either allow it or don't, don't have one rule for one and one for others. You just need to look down hot pics to see how many are allowed!

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"I am lost now

think he's referring to big brother and the programs they use to track a person..connie x

google .. What is Stingray technology"

Yeah I get that bit. I am still lost

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"Deleted my pics! Going to take your advice and watermark them...thanks everyone

You are allowed to watermark your own pics, if they were rejected ask Admin to review for you from the CONTACT button

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By *ity Slickers PartiesCouple (MM)
over a year ago

Brighton & Hove

"I haven't read all the posts or forums but here is my view.

Consensual sex is not illegal...even as an orgy.

The point I am making if more people stand up and say what's the issue with having multiple sex partners...1-1 or groups...in public or private...it reduces stigma.

I am aware that many employers would not like the publicity of an employee being in the media...and that may threaten employment for some. So being open isn't an option for everyone...

I am open about my lifestyle at work...many are interested now and feel comfortable talking to me about it...so in my way I am educating and normalising it.

I am careful about how I conduct myself...but friends know as well.

This reduces blackmail and embarrassment factors for me.

Next...the security of swingfields and this sight...all we and those who run things is try and reduce risk of infiltration and exposure...but please keep it in context.

Those who organise clubs, sites and events are all amateurs...there is no guarantee of privacy and security.

Plenty of illicit items come through customs, check points, prison and police checks...and they are professionals with equipment....so don't blame the organisers...even MI6 has moles...

Lies and shame makes it an easy target.

This won't be possible for everyone...yet...but one day.

Freedom doesn't come easy...throughout history humans fight to be free of oppression.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We've always advised one simple rule:

Don't add/share anything if you'd be upset if some idiot misused it.

Admin x"

OP? Good question, one that needs as many as possible to get involved with. As we see it there are two issues here that can cause conflict.

The first is how you "advertise yourself" . . little point of deleting chunks of your profile or hiding it, is there? We are all on this site for sexual pleasure and that's where we ALL have a problem with risk : we need to be seen, to be active and we know that to do nothing will result in nothing. As Admin states using common sense and being wary but not paranoid is your best stance.

The second is that we will ALWAYS be easy targets for the gutter press . . and there was us thinking with the demise of the NoW things might improve

. . but larger, publicised events such as Swingfields will be like a magnet to them. To be fair though upon one hand the event was successful due to the numbers of swingers wanting to be there the way it presented itself "in your face" in a rural environment was . . stupid. It was almost as if the event was asking for the wrong attention.

The way to go? Private membership, select, discreet, "low key" events and NO advertising. Word of mouth or face to face only.

Trouble is it only takes one bad apple to spoil it for everyone . .

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By *ity Slickers PartiesCouple (MM)
over a year ago

Brighton & Hove

"We've always advised one simple rule:

Don't add/share anything if you'd be upset if some idiot misused it.

Admin x

OP? Good question, one that needs as many as possible to get involved with. As we see it there are two issues here that can cause conflict.

The second is that we will ALWAYS be easy targets for the gutter press . . and there was us thinking with the demise of the NoW things might improve

The way to go? Private membership, select, discreet, "low key" events and NO advertising. Word of mouth or face to face only.

Trouble is it only takes one bad apple to spoil it for everyone . .

I totally agree

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By *ity Slickers PartiesCouple (MM)
over a year ago

Brighton & Hove

We have never had any problems so far, we never stop to learn something every day but we believe our parties are bullet proof!

Or the press has decided your parties are of no interest

As you may have gathered from other threads confirming that the Media is only interested but in bad news... which make good news and of course it is much easier to make a bad news with pictures featuring lots of Swingers Camping in the field with tents and having sex to supposedly a high end Private Party where in fact some people may think: - That's was not too bad after all... Perhaps we should try that sometime! -

And believe me the journalists try so hard to turn a good story into a bad story because this is what the Media what to hear about... SCANDALS!!!

We have helped on several occasions to support documentary on the High End Lifestyle in Channel 4 and with others, BUT we always make sure to sign on the contract that we want to see the filming before we give them the go ahead and let me tell you that even in such cases they try their best to make you look so low in the eyes of the society.

There is nothing wrong with consensual sex between adults and until WE SWINGERS form a solid group that we can stick together like the LGBT or even the Fetish Scene, we will always be a target!

BE PROUD TO BE A SWINGER THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG!!!

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I was being naughty Cityslickers. I am sure your parties are worth reporting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd add, don't have any identifiable play shot pics on the internet

Any face pics we use on here can be found on our vanilla online sites, so plausible deniability could be used

Can't really do that if you can clearly identify who is in a play shot?

When we send out a face pic we always send one that we have on facebook too for that very same reason.

You know that if someone uses Google reverse, that will take them straight to your facebook profile?

That's one surefire way NOT to protect your privacy.....

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Anyone remember Ashley Madison?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Anyone remember Ashley Madison?

I don't think I fucked her, but there's been sooooooooooo many it's hard to remember their names.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A simple water marking in the centre or important area will prevent missuse of any of your pictures.

I was recently ousted by a jealous person at work alongside a bit of bullying.

I had no choice but to bring it up with management and simply pointed out that it would not be acceptable if I was LGBT and I see my sexual preferences had to be classified as no different.

Did the job

We should all be able to pull the same rank in the stakes of discrimination "

That's a good tip.

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