FabSwingers.com forum: no thank you button

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Wouldent it be great if there was a polite no thank you button you could use when someone sends you a message and your not interested in? I know people on here do get lots of messages at times and it's hard to reply to them all at least this is a good way for people who sent the message to realise that you acknowledged the message but don't have the time or what ever reason to reply saying your not interested

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a good idea, one that would save time and allow the sender feedback BUT would many on here use it? So many just seem . . ignorant?

This site would do well to take a serious look at A-F-F where this feature was incorporated . . a shit expensive site but you had good user controls of mailbox, messages, etc.

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By *heBakeOLiteGirlWoman
over a year ago

62 West Wallaby Street (not real address)

I would love a "no thank you" button. Would make it easier sometimes. Maybe with an automatic block feature after you press it so you can't get any abuse after

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because typing no or no thanks is such an arduous task

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Because typing no or no thanks is such an arduous task"

I don't know what your schedule is like but our inbox size to spare time ratio is way out of sync do you think people have time to respond to every message they get?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope...it would mean that they could get round any subsequently applied filters and you end up entering into dialogue with people you're uninterested in when you could be better spending your time talking with people you are...

Don't get me wrong-we will often say thanks but no thanks if someone has made an effort and fits our preferences, but people's lives on here would be so much easier if they just accepted the fact that no reply means that people just aren't interested in them...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No reply = no thanks.

I thought it was pretty simple really, why make it hard?

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By *errysMan
over a year ago

milton keynes and kent

Even better would be a no thanks ever/ blocked,button.

Or a not this time thanks button.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"No reply = no thanks.

I thought it was pretty simple really, why make it hard?"

By the sound of it you are a decent guy when it comes to people saying no but that's not the case for many men on here we get many repeat messages and a few abussive when we say we are not interested a no thanks button with the option to block would be great way to combat the idiots that ruin this site

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You do have the option to block, or am I missing something?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You do have the option to block, or am I missing something?"

I know but to add the option on to the not interested button would be a good ergonomic action without having to go all over the place to do things,

It's a nice flow and hassle free lots of sites of all type have the same option in multiple locations to give it ease of use

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Because typing no or no thanks is such an arduous task

I don't know what your schedule is like but our inbox size to spare time ratio is way out of sync do you think people have time to respond to every message they get? "

Obviously not as hectic as yours,so we do have time to say no to those that have perhaps read some of our profile but maybe not all of it,no thanks to those that have read all of what we are looking for but we arent , attracted to and all others,ie the ones that clearly haven't read a word we just delete.

I don't see the need for different "no" buttons,as others have said,site rules states no response should be taken as,not interested.

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By *lighty1Woman
over a year ago

You Dont Need to Know, right now

It's been suggested lots of times, and hasn't been implemented yet. For three main reasons, I guess:-

1) Instead of "people are rude and don't reply" threads the forums would be full of threads saying "people are impersonal and just send the standard no thanks reply"

2) Any kind of reply means that people can't subsequently be 'filtered out', as a group

3) For those who get lots of messages, they could reach their message limit by sending the standard-reply no-thanks, meaning they wouldn't then have be able to send messages to the people they ARE interested in.

The FAQs say that it's not rude not to reply, so people should just assume that no reply means not interested.

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By *errysMan
over a year ago

milton keynes and kent

Biggest problem is, currently different people do different things ie

just bulk delete.

Leave marked unread (what does that mean) reply a simple no thanks(is that never or not this time)

Read and not delete!!!

Etc. Etc.

none of it bothers me but I can see why some blokes could get worked up. But they are the ones best blocked then they may learn.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Before people are let loose after they join there should be an orientation.. Compulsory reading of FAQs followed by a wee quiz

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By *verysmileMan
over a year ago

Canterbury

[Removed by poster at 17/05/16 21:21:25]

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By *verysmileMan
over a year ago

Canterbury

"Before people are let loose after they join there should be an orientation.. Compulsory reading of FAQs followed by a wee quiz "

I was trying to read your point but when I had a sneaky peek at your profile pictures, I got completely lost in your gorgeous eyes....

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By *ollydimplesWoman
over a year ago

hamilton

"I would love a "no thank you" button. Would make it easier sometimes. Maybe with an automatic block feature after you press it so you can't get any abuse after "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No reply means no thanks

A reply saying no thanks means no thanks.

Why people think that hurling abuse at someone is effective is beyond me.

Personally I like to recieve a reply regardless, but I never chase up more than once (if I really fancy them) if I dont get a reply.

Us guys just need to accept the ratio and keep trying..

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

"Nope...it would mean that they could get round any subsequently applied filters and you end up entering into dialogue with people you're uninterested in when you could be better spending your time talking with people you are...

Make it such that it doesn't count as a 'reply' - so it doesn't lower the filter guard

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have to agree with you there having politely declined have had to block and report a few for being abusive sadly spoils it for everyone else x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unfortunately some see no reply as being rude and ignorant and are quite happy to tell you that x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/05/16 06:42:09]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/05/16 06:42:13]

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By *requent_FerryersCouple
over a year ago

Norwich to Great Yarmouth (by river)

"No reply = no thanks.

I thought it was pretty simple really, why make it hard?

Hear! Hear!

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"I would love a "no thank you" button. Would make it easier sometimes. Maybe with an automatic block feature after you press it so you can't get any abuse after "

This is a good idea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think a reply either way is just respectful depending on the message. Its just like some one talking to you and you say nothing that's rude as I said depends on message. I also think a lot of guys for get who they messaged in the past and what the response was. But guys dam deal with it some peeps just don't find you or me their cup of tea just like we do with others no need to be a prick deal with it happy fabbing

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I'd definitely use it.

Each user could custom write their own text to go with it, if they chose to, altering it if they ever wanted to.

It would improve morale - especially amongst single males - who frequently complain that they never hear anything from the many replies that they've sent.

It would be helpful to also include an automatic blocking as well, if the user thought it wise, to prevent future interaction.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's been suggested lots of times, and hasn't been implemented yet. For three main reasons, I guess:-

1) Instead of "people are rude and don't reply" threads the forums would be full of threads saying "people are impersonal and just send the standard no thanks reply"

2) Any kind of reply means that people can't subsequently be 'filtered out', as a group

The FAQs say that it's not rude not to reply, so people should just assume that no reply means not interested."

I don't see how these are actual reasons as you state...they seem speculative. ...certainly the first one. The other two wouldn't happen. Admin wouldnt need to register a no reply button as an actual message... but rather in as a separate folder....thus resolving your said issue with messages and filters.

It would certainly help in my opinion both those who feel it's rude not to reply to someone who has taken time to read their profile a compose a nice applicable message and for those who have taken the time to do do so and thus trying to be polite and just get ignored for their efforts. ...I think the latter has caused many not to bother too much in taking time in composing because 90% of the messages don't get a response....leading to many threads if women complaining about guys not taking the time to message appropriately. .. its a catch 22 and seems such a simple solution to help in this ongoing issue....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dropped back this week after a long break and surprised to see nothing done yet about message/replies. Been here as a couple and once looked after a friends single fem account when she was away. An ex-gf was an admin on another site. Seen it from all angles and its hardly satisfactory as is.

This time being an optimist I wrote personal emails to several members who sounded like might be interested and compatible. All I get to see is 'unread' in the sent message list.

I don't know if this means unread and deleted or just waiting in a queue?

As previous comment pointed out its a catch 22 that encourages some single blokes to send loads of senseless messages in the hope someone replies. Having once spent a fortnight deleting loads of "I'm a moron and heres a photo of my cock" messages I understand its not always possible or necessary to reply but theres no doubt the system is broken as it is.

An "I've opened your message but not interested" would be an improvement IMO.

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By *he devil wears pradaWoman
over a year ago

gosport ish

Read the FAQ's no reply means not interested

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Read the FAQ's no reply means not interested

We all know that. ...its a broken record from the female side...but it doesn't and hasn't helped the female problems of getting uninteresting and copy and paste bulk messages...which surely any intelligent person would see needs to be addressed if possible....and I think the OP and most contributing on this subject wants to see the issues addressed rather than constantly returning.....which would indicate that it needs addressed in a constructive way. It's got to be one of the biggest bug bears over the years that a simply curious reply would benefit both parties.

If i was to say good morning to someone in town at a queue and they just ignored me...I'd naturally think the way most here think on this matter. Just my opinion. ..I'm open to being corrected as it's an open forum.

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By *he devil wears pradaWoman
over a year ago

gosport ish

Surely as admin have it in the site FAQ's and the moderators also say this then this is how it'll be. Maybe more prudent to get rid of the sent box as it seems that is the cause of most angst with men.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Read the FAQ's no reply means not interested

I truly fail to see how a no thanks button will address the problem of uninteresting copy and paste messages...or am I missing something here?

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By *ollyGWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

I just say sorry but not for me, not too much effort and does the job x

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By *illnatMan
over a year ago

wherever i need to be

I'd never use it as nobody sends me messages anyway pmsl

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By *insbury Park FabberMan
over a year ago

London

"Read the FAQ's no reply means not interested

The FAQ where this is the first part of the answer goes on to give advice to guys about the messages they send, suggesting they need to make them stand out. This is predicated on the idea that messages being sent are actually being read.

In reality, and for completely understandable reasons, an awful lot of messages go unread, as has been pointed out elsewhere in this thread.

If at least some women and couples who currently don't usually have time to make any form of reply to a message when they're not interested would have time to click a button saying 'I've opened your message but am definitely not interested' then I think that should definitely be of help to single guys. It will mean that they know their message wasn't just overlooked, or swept aside in a bulk delete exercise or, if it was read but not replied to, that it wasn't just the case that theirs wasn't the best offer at this particular time and that the girl or couple might perhaps be interested on another occasion. They can record the response using the (really useful!) Private Notes function and thus avoid unnecessarily bothering the lady or couple again. If at least some guys do this, then it should in turn help single women and couples by reducing the number of messages they get.

It will perhaps only be a minority of people who will do this. It won't solve the problem as such. But if it mitigates it a little at least, then it'll be of value. I think it's an excellent idea.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Read the FAQ's no reply means not interested

In reality, and for completely understandable reasons, an awful lot of messages go unread, as has been pointed out elsewhere in this thread.

It will perhaps only be a minority of people who will do this. It won't solve the problem as such. But if it mitigates it a little at least, then it'll be of value. I think it's an excellent idea."

Private notes are only available to site supporters

I'll ask my usual question...would you really like an inbox full of rejection?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great idea!

At least it makes rejection a bit more palatable.

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By *insbury Park FabberMan
over a year ago

London

"Read the FAQ's no reply means not interested

In reality, and for completely understandable reasons, an awful lot of messages go unread, as has been pointed out elsewhere in this thread.

It will perhaps only be a minority of people who will do this. It won't solve the problem as such. But if it mitigates it a little at least, then it'll be of value. I think it's an excellent idea.

Private notes are only available to site supporters

I'll ask my usual question...would you really like an inbox full of rejection?"

Ah, I didn't know the Private Notes function was only available to site supporters. In that case, I'd also propose it be made available to everybody.

Single guys do occasionally get positive replies to messages too! It's even happened to me once or twice

but to answer your question: yes, I would honestly much rather an inbox full of rejections from people stating clearly that sorry, they're definitely not interested then be left hanging and wondering whether people had even read my message, or if they had, exactly why they hadn't responded. Of course being rejected is disappointing, but most of us guys on here have to get used to that, I think and if you can't you probably shouldn't be on the site. I'd be very interested to know if any single guys think differently and prefer not to have a clear response to messages if even it's a negative one, and if so why that is?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No reply = no thanks.

I thought it was pretty simple really, why make it hard?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Because typing no or no thanks is such an arduous task"

Its not typing the "No thank you" that's the arduous task.

Its dealing with the emotionally unstable minority who think anonymous rejection in the form of preference is a personal insult and have to get typographically even with their new found pseudo-tormentor.

In short its the twats who can't take a no thanks that are hard work.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Because typing no or no thanks is such an arduous task

Its not typing the "No thank you" that's the arduous task.

By the number of times this is sure arises on the forums by so many different guys it doesn't sound like a minority....If you were to go through the forum posts on this subject as I have just done yesterday you may notice actually there are the same people popping up who say 'no' why change or 'it says in the faq. . ..' they seem to be the minority.

What I don't get is why they are so vocal about not wanting a polite' no thank you button'. They still don't need to use it or maybe it's because people would then think they're being ignorant by not using it. Something to consider I guess.

In short its the twats who can't take a no thanks that are hard work. "

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By *oluptuousWetOneWoman
over a year ago

Wokingham / Reading

At the moment if you reply and change messages filters those changes don't apply to that person because you replied

This would make it easier to say no thanks

And if you've said no thanks something shows permantly so they no not to message again as so many forget who they've messaged would save on the blocking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"At the moment if you reply and change messages filters those changes don't apply to that person because you replied

This would make it easier to say no thanks

And if you've said no thanks something shows permantly so they no not to message again as so many forget who they've messaged would save on the blocking "

Very good points raised there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We'll reply no thanks if it's a decent message and to be fair we've never had abuse from any single guys for saying no thanks. Some couples on the other hand seem totally flabbergasted that we'd dare say no to them and follow with the usual fakes, timewasters or didn't want to meet you anyway patter

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By *oluptuousWetOneWoman
over a year ago

Wokingham / Reading

"At the moment if you reply and change messages filters those changes don't apply to that person because you replied

This would make it easier to say no thanks

And if you've said no thanks something shows permanently so they no not to message again as so many forget who they've messaged would save on the blocking

Very good points raised there.

Makes a change for me to make sense

I think it would lead to less frustration

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like a great idea

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By *ngels of Sin 69Couple
over a year ago

High Wycombe

Definitely an easier response than having to write a cringy message as we hate being rude but there MUST be some mutual attraction

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would be a good idea to have this option

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone has made the effort to contact you, why can't you make the effort to say "sorry, but not for me" how long does it really take to type 5 words? If you don't have time to reply, then don't read the message until you do - simple really. Nothing more annoying to see someone has read the message and not replied, looks like you're being ignored.

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By *arkyMark44Man
over a year ago

Oswestry

When I message people I've always put in the message drop me a message even if it's a polite thanks but no thanks...when I get a reply even if it's a no I send them a message saying no worries not a problem and happy fabbing...does not take that much time or effort to be polite and yes I'm a single bloke ...never been caught up in message slagging off as I don't see the point of it ...at the end of the day we are all adults and are looking for the same thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is a CONTACT site . . let me say that word again . . CONTACT.

EVERYBODY using this site hopes to engage in some form of communication that, they hope, will result in some form of sexual expression? So why then do many feel that being ignorant is acceptable?

It takes so little time to simply say "no thanks but good luck elsewhere"? However the less than satisfactory etiquette of many using this site could mean a simple "No Thanks" button for the lazy will at least produce closure.

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By *oluptuousWetOneWoman
over a year ago

Wokingham / Reading

People would be more inclined to say "no thanks" if people just left it with that but many don't that's the problem

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is a CONTACT site . . let me say that word again . . CONTACT.

EVERYBODY using this site hopes to engage in some form of communication that, they hope, will result in some form of sexual expression? So why then do many feel that being ignorant is acceptable?

I fully agree......but there are many who can't be bothered as they get too many messages that don't say much or don't interest them .

Maybe a wordage filter would be useful....One adds words in they don't want to hear...and then it pings back to sender without going to reviewer. ...This would keep inboxes less full and sender would know it was a no thank you too. No further intereaction on the lazy side.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People would be more inclined to say "no thanks" if people just left it with that but many don't that's the problem "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We as am sure alot of others do get many messages from guys dont always have time to reply to every message this but would be a great idea then at least its makes given everyone a response easier

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By *oluptuousWetOneWoman
over a year ago

Wokingham / Reading

The other things is that people are assuming that messages have been read and that someone didn't log in and just do a bulk delete.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is a CONTACT site . . let me say that word again . . CONTACT.

EVERYBODY using this site hopes to engage in some form of communication that, they hope, will result in some form of sexual expression? So why then do many feel that being ignorant is acceptable?

It doesn't mean we want to engage in contact with everyone on the site.

We're not lazy, or consider oursrlves rude just uninterested in contact with people we're uninterested in

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By *an_WoodMan
over a year ago

Stafford

I like the idea as it sounds like the option to text someone calling you saying you are busy. Understand the points about no reply but like the option of flexibility it gives as it doesn't change etiquette

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We ignore a great many messages we receive, mainly because they are from guys who have never read our profile...

we might have used a 'no thank you' button on lots of those.

Nothing would work to avoid the one guy who messaged us and when he never got a response within *2 hours* sent another message telling us to "fuck off and die"... and blocked us

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By *an_WoodMan
over a year ago

Stafford

"We ignore a great many messages we receive, mainly because they are from guys who have never read our profile...

we might have used a 'no thank you' button on lots of those.

Nothing would work to avoid the one guy who messaged us and when he never got a response within *2 hours* sent another message telling us to "fuck off and die"... and blocked us

I usually give it 3 hours

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By *manda63Woman
over a year ago

Southampton

"Because typing no or no thanks is such an arduous task

I don't know what your schedule is like but our inbox size to spare time ratio is way out of sync do you think people have time to respond to every message they get? "

Use your filters then you wouldn't get unwanted messages. People complain about not getting messages and complain about getting too many. No happy medium on here

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By *lighty1Woman
over a year ago

You Dont Need to Know, right now

"When I message people I've always put in the message drop me a message even if it's a polite thanks but no thanks...when I get a reply even if it's a no I send them a message saying no worries not a problem and happy fabbing... "

Please don't do this. If someone has sent you a 'no thanks' message, please don't message again, not even to thank them for the no-thanks. If people are conscientiously trying to reply to all messages (I don't, any more!), they are probably trying to clear out their inboxes, so that they can concentrate on the people they DO want to meet. Your 'thanks for the no-thanks' message is just cluttering up their inbox. Just let them ASSUME that you have graciously accepted the no-thanks - then you can move on to the person you next hope to meet, and they can do the same.

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By *lowercandyWoman
over a year ago

Lancashire

I do reply to messages even if it is a no thanks so a button would make it easier x

It would be nice though if once used people accepted the reply with grace

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By *reakShow90Man
over a year ago

Manchester/halifax

Iam going to get ready for the hate buttt

I can see why some guys copy and paste to x amount of ladies if when you do a long msg after reading and thinking you fit the bill of the lady or clp for them to just del with out even reading.

I don't copy and paste but I put at the end of every msg hope to hear from you if not I under stand and all I ask if they read what I put if I get no reply then fair do iam not every ones cup of tea.

But about the no thanks button I like it could see it working and making things a bit easyer when I have had the no thanks or not to are taste I just say no worries have fun and happy fabbing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We already have a no thank you button.. it says delete message

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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

I know another site that did this and it kinda worked

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We already have a no thank you button.. it says delete message"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do reply to messages even if it is a no thanks so a button would make it easier x

It would be nice though if once used people accepted the reply with grace

It could easily be set up as when the message was sent it then prevented a reply like a block...but one could still see their profile. If at anytime the sender wished the block to be removed all they have to do is send a message and start chatting....If later again they no longer were interested...the no thank you button could be used. Quite simple really...and polite.

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By *llen n SebbCouple
over a year ago

Walkinstown

"It's a good idea, one that would save time and allow the sender feedback BUT would many on here use it? So many just seem . . ignorant?

This site would do well to take a serious look at A-F-F where this feature was incorporated . . a shit expensive site but you had good user controls of mailbox, messages, etc."

We agree. If people can't bother their arse to type three short words, they are hardly going to use a button ? People are just rude / lazy or both.

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By *lighty1Woman
over a year ago

You Dont Need to Know, right now

" If people can't bother their arse to type three short words, they are hardly going to use a button ? People are just rude / lazy or both."

Not so.

From the FAQs on this site:-

"Q. There are too many rude people on here who don't reply to my messages!

A. It's not rude not to reply. Some ladies and couples get hundreds of messages a day so it simply isn't possible for them to reply to everyone. If you don't get a response, you should assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send. Are they giving the right message? Are you standing out from the thousands of other guys on here?"

I don't get hundreds of messages a day, but when I did send a 'thanks but no thanks' reply, far too many people wouldn't accept that, saying either:-

1) why not?

2) what can I do to change your mind?

3) you're a fat ugly slag and I didn't want to meet you anyway.

So I decided it is just less bother to rely on the FAQs - no reply = not interested.

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By *oluptuousWetOneWoman
over a year ago

Wokingham / Reading

"It's a good idea, one that would save time and allow the sender feedback BUT would many on here use it? So many just seem . . ignorant?

This site would do well to take a serious look at A-F-F where this feature was incorporated . . a shit expensive site but you had good user controls of mailbox, messages, etc.

We agree. If people can't bother their arse to type three short words, they are hardly going to use a button ? People are just rude / lazy or both."

Wouldn't like the cost off AFF though the function worked really well without having to block also not as many messages because of how much the site cost.

Do you not think people might not be so rude/lazy if replying meant people bypassed any future applied filters etc.

If the same people didn't spam every few months if people could register a no interest to stop people messaging again so they remember who they messaged, I think people might be actually be inclined to press a button.

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By *oluptuousWetOneWoman
over a year ago

Wokingham / Reading

" If people can't bother their arse to type three short words, they are hardly going to use a button ? People are just rude / lazy or both.

Not so.

From the FAQs on this site:-

"Q. There are too many rude people on here who don't reply to my messages!

I don't get hundreds of messages a day, but when I did send a 'thanks but no thanks' reply, far too many people wouldn't accept that, saying either:-

1) why not?

2) what can I do to change your mind?

3) you're a fat ugly slag and I didn't want to meet you anyway.

So I decided it is just less bother to rely on the FAQs - no reply = not interested.

I agree this is exactly what happens tiring and puts people off replying

I think people just take no notice of that site rule so maybe it's time to have a rethink then people would have something else to whine about i.e. "Everyone's registering a no interest what am I doing wrong"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

a no thank you button sounds great, but i have learned through experience that replying with a no, can often be replied with a whinge of why not?, whats wrong with me? or even a torrent of abuse saying they didnt fancy me anyway.

I am not ignorant, I just dont have time to answer every message and especially not if I have no intention of meeting that person.

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