FabSwingers.com forum: Time to restrict free membership to sort out wasters

By *exeter OP Man
over a year ago

m5 Devon-Somerset border area

I have a single guys profile on here as well as a joint couples profile I share with a girlfriend (she is leaving!).

I used to use swinging sites that required payment to use or get use able features and I felt that it kept the user's mostly serious and genuine and the riff raff out. The recession hit and all the regulars in my area all moved here due to the reduced cost or usable free feature.

Now I feel that the popularly is attracting the wrong type of people and it's getting to tipping point.

I am plaged with lady and couple friends leaving from hassle or lack of genuine swingers among all the wasters, swamped by fakes was a term I hear a lot.

I get everything from ladies using the site as a free dating site to single and married men using this website for nsa see. Sorry but I feel that this is not swinging!

Also I hear this site mentioned a little too regularly on a night out in pubs and bars locally.

I love the site but I feel that it's time to start making a change before I becomes a victim of it's own success.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Agree

This isn't a dating site but I don't see why you can't use it to meet someone if you click I know couples who have met and married on here

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

I had more timewasters on another site that charges an annual or monthly fee.

Even more distasteful was the massive sense of entitlement that came with the 'I've paid my £20, I'm owed sex.'

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By *exeter OP Man
over a year ago

m5 Devon-Somerset border area

"Agree

This isn't a dating site but I don't see why you can't use it to meet someone if you click I know couples who have met and married on here "

Totally but it was aimed at those who have no interest in swinging element of the lifestyle.

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By *exeter OP Man
over a year ago

m5 Devon-Somerset border area

"I had more timewasters on another site that charges an annual or monthly fee.

Even more distasteful was the massive sense of entitlement that came with the 'I've paid my £20, I'm owed sex.'"

I must admit I have only used swingers site's and not general adult based sites but I'm sure that you can get it anywhere unfortunately

You will never stop it but the aim was to reduce the risk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What if everyone had to be a silver member when you first join and register to get any access to the site, then after the 60 days it just runs as normal.

As soon as someone registers it would pop up pay now to access site. this could stop some of the lookers and time wasters

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I had more timewasters on another site that charges an annual or monthly fee.

Even more distasteful was the massive sense of entitlement that came with the 'I've paid my £20, I'm owed sex.'"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Agree

This isn't a dating site but I don't see why you can't use it to meet someone if you click I know couples who have met and married on here

Totally but it was aimed at those who have no interest in swinging element of the lifestyle.

What's the 'swinging element'?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Agree

This isn't a dating site but I don't see why you can't use it to meet someone if you click I know couples who have met and married on here

Totally but it was aimed at those who have no interest in swinging element of the lifestyle.

What's the 'swinging element'?"

Is it what happens when I take my bra off for the night?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There must have been at least 50 similar threads on this exact topic lately.

All end up with the same reply.

1. Admin will not do this

2. Most members don't want this

3. Other sites that do charge all members have just as many, or more "time wasters" whatever it is you define those as.

The majority of us don't really have any trouble and use the site, clubs and socials as we see fit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Block non site supporters.. Ta da!.. Problem solved

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By *at69driveMan
over a year ago

Hertford

"I have a single guys profile on here as well as a joint couples profile I share with a girlfriend (she is leaving!).

Now I feel that the popularly is attracting the wrong type of people and it's getting to tipping point.

I am plaged with lady and couple friends leaving from hassle or lack of genuine swingers among all the wasters, swamped by fakes was a term I hear a lot.

I get everything from ladies using the site as a free dating site to single and married men using this website for nsa see. Sorry but I feel that this is not swinging!

Also I hear this site mentioned a little too regularly on a night out in pubs and bars locally.

I love the site but I feel that it's time to start making a change before I becomes a victim of it's own success.

"
. Why would anyone be bothered by fake members ?. Surely all you need is common sense and you can simply ignore them.

Not many fakes will go to the bother of writing a decent profile .

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By *insbury Park FabberMan
over a year ago

London

"I have a single guys profile on here as well as a joint couples profile I share with a girlfriend (she is leaving!).

Now I feel that the popularly is attracting the wrong type of people and it's getting to tipping point.

I am plaged with lady and couple friends leaving from hassle or lack of genuine swingers among all the wasters, swamped by fakes was a term I hear a lot.

I get everything from ladies using the site as a free dating site to single and married men using this website for nsa see. Sorry but I feel that this is not swinging!

Also I hear this site mentioned a little too regularly on a night out in pubs and bars locally.

I love the site but I feel that it's time to start making a change before I becomes a victim of it's own success.

I have to say I find the idea that anyone disadvantaged by the recession and therefore unable to afford the fees charged to join or access certain features, on other sites, thus becomes 'riff raff' to be highly offensive. The idea that only people with money are 'serious and genuine' is, patently, risible.

The OP does raise some other interesting points. My impression is that Fab has become the default swinging site in much the same way that Facebook has become the default mainstream social media site; it doesn't mean that people aren't on others too, but my impression is that this is considered the main one by most swingers. The reasons for this I think probably do include the low cost of membership, but it also seems to me simply to be better than many of the other sites in its design and functionality and that must have helped too.

The OP's views on people such as ladies looking for romance or men looking for nsa sex not being engaged in 'genuine swinging' are not ones I share, but he's obviously entitled to them and it's a healthy thing to discuss them on the site, so that's great. However, it's an issue which needs separating out from, not conflating with, the actual fakes and timewasters - people assuming an identity that is not their real one specifically with the intention of misleading and wasting the time of other people on the site, for malicious and sociopathic reasons. There are indeed, as far as I can tell, increasing numbers of these. It is, paradoxically, an indicator of the success of the site - there are plenty of fake profiles on Facebook too...but charging more for the site won't solve the problem. Even in the unlikely event of a high charge for single females being introduced - and many such profiles are men pretending to be single girls - there will still be a good number of these idiots who have more than enough money to continue to pretend to be what they're not. We need to find other ways to ensure they don't plague the site.

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By *exeter OP Man
over a year ago

m5 Devon-Somerset border area

"Agree

This isn't a dating site but I don't see why you can't use it to meet someone if you click I know couples who have met and married on here

Totally but it was aimed at those who have no interest in swinging element of the lifestyle.

What's the 'swinging element'?"

Ah well I see it like this it is what makes a swinger different from the usual population.

There's so many variations of this its unbelievable I'm sure you can work it out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't have joined this site if it was pay to join. Most of those sites have a bad reputation, which is why they don't let you try them out before paying so you don't find out how crap they are.

If people are leaving because they don't know how to figure out fakes then that's their fault.

I don't put up with BS on here, had only one meet that didn't turn up (and i ask them to come to my place so it's no hassle for me), out of well over 100 meets. I pay to use ths site 3 times now at least. And yeah i'm not a swinger and plenty of guys are full of shit or liars but you've got to figure out how to detect that for yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't really understand the 'fake profiles' thing. I left and when I rejoined I had to photo verify before I could do anything?

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area

If u dont like it on here. ....why do u stay ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe its just that people don't want to be swingers ,maybe that's the decline in available people, I don't think its about money the clubs are still thriving it would seem and as somebody else said just because a person can afford to do things doesn't make them genuine and reliable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have a single guys profile on here as well as a joint couples profile I share with a girlfriend (she is leaving!).

Now I feel that the popularly is attracting the wrong type of people and it's getting to tipping point.

I am plaged with lady and couple friends leaving from hassle or lack of genuine swingers among all the wasters, swamped by fakes was a term I hear a lot.

I get everything from ladies using the site as a free dating site to single and married men using this website for nsa see. Sorry but I feel that this is not swinging!

Also I hear this site mentioned a little too regularly on a night out in pubs and bars locally.

I love the site but I feel that it's time to start making a change before I becomes a victim of it's own success.

Disagree, timewasters have money too

I meet and always have done from the many years I have been on and off this site, however the moment the site makes charging compulsory then I would leave.

This site is merely a contact site nothing more, people can make contact for any reason whether it be dating, Nsa, chatting or swinging, it's their choice to use the site as they feel fit, just as its your choice to use the site as you feel fit.

People leave for many reasons, the biggest reason being they can't get the sex as quick or often enough as they thought they would by signing up.

Fakes/timewasters are easily spotted in my opinion, can can easily be blocked, why people keep griping is beyond me, use your gut instinct block those you think time waste and focus on those you think are genuine.

The problem with this site seems to be more people enjoy moaning about other profiles instead of using their own judgement, there are constant threads moaning they only meet this, they only meet that, they only meet in clubs, they won't meet me so they must be fake etc etc etc

Jeez, people get a grip, focus on those you think are genuine, that match what you are looking for, and not focus on whinging.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh and swinging, isn't that Nsa sex?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have a single guys profile on here as well as a joint couples profile I share with a girlfriend (she is leaving!).

Now I feel that the popularly is attracting the wrong type of people and it's getting to tipping point.

I am plaged with lady and couple friends leaving from hassle or lack of genuine swingers among all the wasters, swamped by fakes was a term I hear a lot.

I get everything from ladies using the site as a free dating site to single and married men using this website for nsa see. Sorry but I feel that this is not swinging!

Also I hear this site mentioned a little too regularly on a night out in pubs and bars locally.

I love the site but I feel that it's time to start making a change before I becomes a victim of it's own success.

Disagree, timewasters have money too

I meet and always have done from the many years I have been on and off this site, however the moment the site makes charging compulsory then I would leave.

People leave for many reasons, the biggest reason being they can't get the sex as quick or often enough as they thought they would by signing up.

Jeez, people get a grip, focus on those you think are genuine, that match what you are looking for, and not focus on whinging."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"payment to use or get use able features and I felt that it kept the user's mostly serious and genuine and the riff raff out. "

We're "free" members and (hopefully)not riff raff. You are of course free to have an generalised opinion

Lets define "Timewaster" before we shake our fists and go GRRRR at those who don't pay the £5ver.

Is it someone who chats then blocks unexpectedly?

Is it someone who turns up at a meet and decides not to play because they don't feel happy?.

EVERYONE is somebody "timewaster" simply because some are square pegs and some people are round holes ( Pun very much intended)

You have to converse via message to find this out. Then often the rejected party starts moaning on about how they've sent xyz amount of messages and suddenly been told No thanks, etc etc

Suddenly that couple of single who were the greatest thing since sliced bread disappear and someones personal timewater is born.

Our own security and diligence is our own responsibility and to be blunt I wouldnt be happy swapping a compulsory £5 entry to the site for my my own assiduousness.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have a single guys profile on here as well as a joint couples profile I share with a girlfriend (she is leaving!).

Now I feel that the popularly is attracting the wrong type of people and it's getting to tipping point.

I am plaged with lady and couple friends leaving from hassle or lack of genuine swingers among all the wasters, swamped by fakes was a term I hear a lot.

I get everything from ladies using the site as a free dating site to single and married men using this website for nsa see. Sorry but I feel that this is not swinging!

Also I hear this site mentioned a little too regularly on a night out in pubs and bars locally.

I love the site but I feel that it's time to start making a change before I becomes a victim of it's own success.

Bang on ! Well said that man !!

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By *longshottMan
over a year ago

Limerick

Payment is not the issue when it comes to possibly stopping serial fake accounts identity is. The UK government have recently decided that age verification for adult sites will be necessary in not too distant future. I would presume as with the US credit card details would be best way to do this. This would possibly also stop fakes as each account would be tied to valid card details. Therefore someone abuses system remove card from being able validate account. This does not necessarily mean need to charge just need to identify.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Payment is not the issue when it comes to possibly stopping serial fake accounts identity is. The UK government have recently decided that age verification for adult sites will be necessary in not too distant future. I would presume as with the US credit card details would be best way to do this. This would possibly also stop fakes as each account would be tied to valid card details. Therefore someone abuses system remove card from being able validate account. This does not necessarily mean need to charge just need to identify."

Personally I don't have a credit card so that's me fucked or not!

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By *pl4funalwaysCouple
over a year ago

Murton

Why doesn't the op leave the site then go to a pay site then ? We find the majority of people we come across that waste our time are site supporters . As people have mentioned before time wasters are just as likely to have a spare fiver knocking around as anyone else so how will this help ?

Have some common sense if you believe so strongly that only genuine people pay site supporter fees block non site supporters then there you go you will never encounter a Timewaster again .

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By *exeter OP Man
over a year ago

m5 Devon-Somerset border area

Don't get me wrong I actually really like the site and wanted it to remain a good site to use.

As it is the default site and the price is hardly excessive just thought it would be the best solution for something that is a problem to everyone I know that is a swinger

As for the riff raff comment it had nothing to do with money or class. I was thinking about the behaviour side of things

Someone made a comment on non genuine people who have money going to clubs.

Most of the good ones only let in verified people and it's a lot easier to figure out people face to face.

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By *angbang junkieCouple
over a year ago

Ilkeston

"There must have been at least 50 similar threads on this exact topic lately.

All end up with the same reply.

1. Admin will not do this

2. Most members don't want this

3. Other sites that do charge all members have just as many, or more "time wasters" whatever it is you define those as.

The majority of us don't really have any trouble and use the site, clubs and socials as we see fit."

Threads of this nature are becomming very tedious, can we not ban them as they must account for around 50% of threads on the forum, and there is simply no need for them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There must have been at least 50 similar threads on this exact topic lately.

All end up with the same reply.

1. Admin will not do this

2. Most members don't want this

3. Other sites that do charge all members have just as many, or more "time wasters" whatever it is you define those as.

The majority of us don't really have any trouble and use the site, clubs and socials as we see fit."
membership is by a credit or debit card. How about the details enterered on your profile are checked against the name on the card? Membership cost could be minimal.. But could serve to out the timewasters

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

My Debit card doesn't have "him and her" as a name

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By *angbang junkieCouple
over a year ago

Ilkeston

Look, ing out timewasters is your job, you just have to deal with it. Fab gives you all the tools you need, you just have to learn to use them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyone remember the Ashley Madison debacle. Why would I give my credit card details to anyone and run the risk of hacking

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By *ilmiss75Woman
over a year ago

Thornton

"I don't really understand the 'fake profiles' thing. I left and when I rejoined I had to photo verify before I could do anything?"

Nobody HAS to be photo verified to be on here.

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By *angbang junkieCouple
over a year ago

Ilkeston

Think (some?) people now have to photo-verify when joining.

Correct me if I'm wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My Debit card doesn't have "him and her" as a name

"
not your profile name. If i remember, your asked your real name amongst other things when you sign up and your details are not shown.

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By *ilmiss75Woman
over a year ago

Thornton

"Think (some?) people now have to photo-verify when joining.

Correct me if I'm wrong."

Well if this is the case... They need to break up the 'must be verified' to contact option and make it 2 seperate ones where you can choose only by meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyone remember the Ashley Madison debacle. Why would I give my credit card details to anyone and run the risk of hacking

"
payment can be made without storing your details. Just when your actually paying, they check it against your real name on your fab account, when you sign up. not your profile name.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Look, ing out timewasters is your job, you just have to deal with it. Fab gives you all the tools you need, you just have to learn to use them."
yea but they also provide the fakes to out

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By *angbang junkieCouple
over a year ago

Ilkeston

Well then try another site.

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By *j_markCouple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Totteridge/Whetstone

It's really easy to block non site supporters (my account, message filters) and only contact those who are site supporters... if that's your preference.

These kind of "everyone should be xyz" threads are pointless because we don't intend to change the basic premise of the site which is anyone can join, for free, and have fun. It's easy to block non verifieds, non site supporters, look at verifications and make sensible judgements about who is meeting and who is not.

Admin x

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