FabSwingers.com forum: Is abusive behaviour on the rise and fairly punished?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Over the last few days i have been alarmed and saddened that i am losing a couple of friends due to them both being sent abusive emails.

A male friend of mine was sent an email by a single fem stating she liked his profile which he politely thanked her for, but was then sent two more that were abusive, rude and rather nasty. He didn't know this woman so this attack was completely unwarrented; she has been reported but nothing seems to have been done.

Then a single female friend of mine has received two abusive emails in one week. The first came from a couple who she has never spoken to and doesn't know at all and which was a personal and sarcastic attack about her looks; the second was from a disgruntled guy who had a go at her because he didn't conform to her description of the type of guy she wanted to meet.

These emails have caused upset and have ruined both of these peoples experience of this site with the knock on effect being i now lose two good friends! I have also noticed other people's status's stating they have been abused so it seems it's a growing issue!

Isn't it about time that people who are abusive are met with immediate action and instead of a warning or a limiting of site features they instantly have their profiles deleted, because if they do it once to people they don't know then it seems highly likely they will do it again and ruin other peoples time on here.

I'm sorry if this has been covered elsewhere, or if i'm posting in the wrong place as i'm new to the forums and don't really use them.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Here is an explanation from Admin from another thread on how they deal with reports.

******Just a quick note. If people report others and we can verify that they have broken site rules, we always take action (either a first and final warning, partially suspended account, fully suspended, mixture of the above).

Every single report sent via the REPORT link is reviewed. Clearly it's not in our interests to have people on here who are bad for the site. Equally we need to verify what has been reported and be fair to those who have been reported.

Admin

PS. we never provide feedback on what has happened. It's just not practical given that we get 100s of reports a day.

Here is what the page says after a report has been submitted:

Your feedback has been saved.

A website admin will shortly review your feedback and take the necessary action. After reviewing the evidence available to us, we may disable an account, remove a user, disable certain aspects of that user's account or issue a warning.

By leaving feedback you help improve the site for everyone who uses it. Thank you.******

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

From a personal point of view, I think every person deserves a second chance, I am sure even the most placid person can have an odd moment of madness.

We don't get abusive mails so we are not really in a position to complain about it, but I think Admin's explanation of how they do things is a fair one.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah - qw all have moments of madness, definately. Usually caused by too much ASDA cheap cider mixed with a shit day at work

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"From a personal point of view, I think every person deserves a second chance, I am sure even the most placid person can have an odd moment of madness.

We don't get abusive mails so we are not really in a position to complain about it, but I think Admin's explanation of how they do things is a fair one."

Thank you for the reply. I have read the emails these people sent and personally i don't think they do deserve a second chance. I can understand if someone got embroilled in an arguement and lashed out and that would indeed warrant a warning only. But these people emailed people they didn't even know or had previously spoken to and to me that is totally unacceptable. The single woman especially came across as arrogant and cocky with an air of untouchablilty and i don't think she was in anyway placid. I just get the impression she knew she wouldn't be reprimanded and had a couldn't care less attitude.

I wasn't sure how the admin dealt with such matters and i thank you for pointing it out but i can't help but doubt this woman, couple and single guy will be dealt with in such a way that they will regret their abusive nature, whilst those members who have done nothing wrong pay the price!

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP if you or your friends report them admin do look into to it,we had some trouble of a guy who then created other profiles to contact us and that was sorted by admin,just because they dont get back to you does not mean they dont do anything about it.

We also had someone email us of 3 different profiles saying that the person was into incest and worse,i copied and pasted the emails we got when we reported this person and the profiles were removed.

I would say if you or your friends are reporting someone for abuse,do what we have done copy and paste the email x

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yes ! i have had abusive messages ,and its a difficult one , some people forget its a swinging site ,not e/harmony .and get too involved .but its a difficult one to deal with ,as i guess more often than not its the abuser who reports it to admin , FRANKIE XX

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I know my male friend has reported this woman so i will watch with interest to see if anything does happen. I don't think my female friend has reported these incidents as far as i know but i will ask; i just think she knows nothing will happen and has had enough. I personally haven't been on many sites but i have to say this is the only site i have seen or experienced such terrible behaviour from total strangers. Sure it goes on within most sites but i have never seen it to this extent.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I too have had abusive mail in the past, totally unsolicited out of the blue from people I don't know.

I report their profile, cut and paste the abusive mail to admin and on one occasion the person who had sent abusive mail had their account suspended.

Admin are too busy to get back to anyone personally but they are working behind the scenes for the benefit of genuine users.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"I know my male friend has reported this woman so i will watch with interest to see if anything does happen. I don't think my female friend has reported these incidents as far as i know but i will ask; i just think she knows nothing will happen and has had enough. I personally haven't been on many sites but i have to say this is the only site i have seen or experienced such terrible behaviour from total strangers. Sure it goes on within most sites but i have never seen it to this extent. "

I know you say you have seen these mails, and I am not doubting you believe your friend, but I could copy and paste mails to someone and change what is in them if I wanted to.

YOU don't know exactly what has happened, so the only option is for your friend to REPORT any mails they find abusive and let Admin deal with it.

It really isn't fair to do this to other members incase there is no substance to it.

Admin ask people to REPORT rather than bring it to the forums ( which you would have read on the page as you post a new thread )

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately