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too many single guys?

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By *its_n_pieces OP   Couple
over a year ago

Are there just too many single guys in the chatrooms now? .....We've been on this site for sometime now and we have noticed that there has been a marked increase in the number of single guys using the chatrooms. When we go to clubs they limit the amount of "respectful single men" (as they put it) so why not have a verified couples room or several for that matter. When there are too many men in the rooms couples tend to switch off so it would seem, which one would think is begining to defeat the object of a site like this and no longer sets it apart from the more average or lesser sites available on the internet. Other than this we think that the new chatrooms are working very well and are much more user friendly than the old rooms. Does anyone want to share their thoughts on this matter?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree that there are lots of single men on the site and a lot that use the chat rooms, more so this last few months.

However, its still only a tiny percentage that cause any hassle. Just block those that you feel are not contributing to the room.

We use the room to chat to folk, maybe as a conversation where several are involved, some couples, fems or males. If we liked any of the couples we would later mail them but still like the banter that most of the guys put into the room and blocking all of them would have a negative affect to the room.

So for us, using the room to chat I'd say its fine as it is. If you want to use the rooms purely for finding prospective couples to meet then yes a couples only room may be an idea... But you would probably find it rather empty.

S.

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

Do all couples sit side by side when in chat then?

or do the male half of a couple sit there choking their chicken too sometimes?

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By *its_n_pieces OP   Couple
over a year ago

we fail to see any counterpoint in what you've written here..... please expand

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

A quick question from me

How would you get chatting to the single women you are looking to meet if you used the "couples only" chatrooms you are asking for?

Or would "single women" be allowed in these rooms?

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By *its_n_pieces OP   Couple
over a year ago

you seem to be assuming that we are suggesting that all rooms be free of single males which is not the case. we are merely suggesting that a verified couples room would compliment the 14 existing rooms where anyone is welcome. we've been to several swingers clubs or events where there is a small couples only space. maybe fab swingers could reflect this seeing as how it is a swingers site. we would also like to point out that if such a chatroom existed on fab it would not be the only room we would choose to use. we would carry on using the other rooms too just as we do now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

as a relativly new single[on here] guy, i would have to agree that a couples room would be a good idea, as well as a gay room, and a singles room

basically the rooms that the members [excuse the pun] want,

we all like doing the things we do with the people we want to do them with.

personally as one of the lowest forms of life on this site married single playing without wifes knowledge, i would like to see , a polite thankyou but no thankyou button on the message options

i often send polite messages only to have them deleted, not knowing if it was a bulk delete or personal

as you can see writing dosent come easy too me, an a little [easy] politeness would be appreciated.

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside


"you seem to be assuming that we are suggesting that all rooms be free of single males which is not the case. we are merely suggesting that a verified couples room would compliment the 14 existing rooms where anyone is welcome. we've been to several swingers clubs or events where there is a small couples only space. maybe fab swingers could reflect this seeing as how it is a swingers site. we would also like to point out that if such a chatroom existed on fab it would not be the only room we would choose to use. we would carry on using the other rooms too just as we do now."

No I wasn't assuming that, if you read what I had actually put!

And singles are not swingers in your eyes then? (oh the old who is a swinger debate) lol

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else


"we fail to see any counterpoint in what you've written here..... please expand"

Sorry, it was a bit hamfisted.

I meant that the proportion of idiots wouldn't necessarily reduce in a "couples only" room.

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By *its_n_pieces OP   Couple
over a year ago

gotcha now...... we totally agree with you there. we're not suggesting this to get away from dickheads coz as we all know there's plenty of dickhead couples too. there's no stopping the dickheads i fear.

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By *its_n_pieces OP   Couple
over a year ago

we agree..... we tend to reply to all messages even if it to say thanks but you're not our type. there is no need for rudeness and every need for curtisy.

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By *its_n_pieces OP   Couple
over a year ago

we re-read your post and yes we mis-understood you. we would chat to single women by continuing to use the 14 other rooms as we do now and yes single guys are swingers too. also we do speak to single guys and not ignore them (apart from the rude or unimaginative) but it would be nice for the couples who are not looking for single men to have a space to chat with other like minded couples from time to time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"as a relativly new single[on here] guy, i would have to agree that a couples room would be a good idea, as well as a gay room, and a singles room

basically the rooms that the members [excuse the pun] want,

we all like doing the things we do with the people we want to do them with.

personally as one of the lowest forms of life on this site married single playing without wifes knowledge, i would like to see , a polite thankyou but no thankyou button on the message options

i often send polite messages only to have them deleted, not knowing if it was a bulk delete or personal

as you can see writing dosent come easy too me, an a little [easy] politeness would be appreciated. "

Well said russell .

You nearly wrote an essay there lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

maybe we should get an adolf hitler type in to start chopping up the community to your orders?

single, couple, gay/straight.

we are all single at one point.dont like it.leave!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ITS A FREE WEBSITE TO ALL SINGLES AND COUPLES

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 10/12/10 01:48:35]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"ITS A FREE WEBSITE TO ALL SINGLES AND COUPLES "

well said.

sorry but i get sick of hearing people bash singles.

couples were single once or had you forgotten that fact.

not all of us are complete wankers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

bet peeps wudnt complain if there was more single ladies ... maybe the OP has had sum crap from single males in the past but after 3 years on here there is alot of very nice single lads on here and we have meet aload at socials ect... things like this give the good lads in here a bad name .. rant over off to perv lol

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex


"Are there just too many single guys in the chatrooms now? .....We've been on this site for sometime now and we have noticed that there has been a marked increase in the number of single guys using the chatrooms. When we go to clubs they limit the amount of "respectful single men" (as they put it) so why not have a verified couples room or several for that matter. When there are too many men in the rooms couples tend to switch off so it would seem, which one would think is begining to defeat the object of a site like this and no longer sets it apart from the more average or lesser sites available on the internet. Other than this we think that the new chatrooms are working very well and are much more user friendly than the old rooms. Does anyone want to share their thoughts on this matter?"

A number of things I notice which I can't help but comment on:

1) Who ever is in any chatroom at anytime is based purely on who is logged in and if they fancy (any) of the chatrooms at that time - I know people that only use the chatrooms as well we people that only use the forums, some that use both, some that use neither (guys, girls, couples) unless admin want to run a report if its not too tricky based on username login/chat activity on a day by day basis for each month? (Believe be the stats might not prove anything).

2) You compare Clubs to Chatrooms? Apart from the fact that comparing any 2 clubs is hard enough, the use of the chatroom is free to all site members (the use of which is free and voluntary, unlike a club which requires membership details and right of Admission being Refused again on a club by club basis).

3) Suggesting that the chatroom adopts a 2-tier system (couples and single fems vs single guys) is not only unhelpful in ridding the "swinger myth" that single guys are the lowest form of scum and should be treated as such ("To the back of the bus the lot of you... should be heard of but not seen!") it also suggests who others should be talking to in chatrooms, much less playing with ("If SOME couples or single fems want single guys, then they can go across the road to the pigpen where they can be found in abundance"). Not good.

4) Is it possible the problem is not more single guys using the chatrooms but perhaps less females and couples? Perhaps they have more domestic stuff at home compared to a lot of single guys?: kids, family,.. secret partners in the case of single fems,.. more offline/social life? Who knows.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying your concern is not valid, I'm just wary of a gung-ho approach to a solution that needs to be thought out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"ITS A FREE WEBSITE TO ALL SINGLES AND COUPLES

well said.

sorry but i get sick of hearing people bash singles.

couples were single once or had you forgotten that fact.

not all of us are complete wankers.

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

personally i thought the OP was an idea rather than a lets bash the singles type.....the idea of a room for verified couple's only sounds very posh....ha ha

as someone who very seldom visits the chat rooms i can only imagine how annoying it must be if a small minority come in hell bent on spoiling others fun. hence make use of the block button and if others follow suit then the pest will get bored and leave

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By *ola cubesMan
over a year ago

coatbridge

wonders if you lost your partner god forbid your attitude would be the same

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By *its_n_pieces OP   Couple
over a year ago


"ITS A FREE WEBSITE TO ALL SINGLES AND COUPLES "
no need to shout

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thats why I don't use the chat rooms anymore too many single guys and not enough single women!!! Or I do find if your chatting to a couple its always the male I seem to chat to in the chat rooms.

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else


"

not all of us are complete wankers.

"

When's your day off then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"ITS A FREE WEBSITE TO ALL SINGLES AND COUPLES no need to shout "
opps sorry didnt no i had them on

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By *im53Man
over a year ago

Boldon

as i remember there was a call for a verified only room and admin gave us one

is it used ? last time i looked there was no body in it ,

why would your room be any differant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are there just too many single guys in the chatrooms now? .....We've been on this site for sometime now and we have noticed that there has been a marked increase in the number of single guys using the chatrooms. When we go to clubs they limit the amount of "respectful single men" (as they put it) so why not have a verified couples room or several for that matter. When there are too many men in the rooms couples tend to switch off so it would seem, which one would think is begining to defeat the object of a site like this and no longer sets it apart from the more average or lesser sites available on the internet. Other than this we think that the new chatrooms are working very well and are much more user friendly than the old rooms. Does anyone want to share their thoughts on this matter?

A number of things I notice which I can't help but comment on:

1) Who ever is in any chatroom at anytime is based purely on who is logged in and if they fancy (any) of the chatrooms at that time - I know people that only use the chatrooms as well we people that only use the forums, some that use both, some that use neither (guys, girls, couples) unless admin want to run a report if its not too tricky based on username login/chat activity on a day by day basis for each month? (Believe be the stats might not prove anything).

2) You compare Clubs to Chatrooms? Apart from the fact that comparing any 2 clubs is hard enough, the use of the chatroom is free to all site members (the use of which is free and voluntary, unlike a club which requires membership details and right of Admission being Refused again on a club by club basis).

3) Suggesting that the chatroom adopts a 2-tier system (couples and single fems vs single guys) is not only unhelpful in ridding the "swinger myth" that single guys are the lowest form of scum and should be treated as such ("To the back of the bus the lot of you... should be heard of but not seen!") it also suggests who others should be talking to in chatrooms, much less playing with ("If SOME couples or single fems want single guys, then they can go across the road to the pigpen where they can be found in abundance"). Not good.

4) Is it possible the problem is not more single guys using the chatrooms but perhaps less females and couples? Perhaps they have more domestic stuff at home compared to a lot of single guys?: kids, family,.. secret partners in the case of single fems,.. more offline/social life? Who knows.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying your concern is not valid, I'm just wary of a gung-ho approach to a solution that needs to be thought out."

Well said. As a single female, we have a home to run, kids to sort, pets to sort and for some of us, a job in fact i work 50hrs pw so i dont have the time, and to be honest, nor the inclination in the chat rooms anyway. I have tried them once but way too fast for me, too small a window and lost who i was supposed to be talking to, and as i dont have a webcam, totally pointless for confirming what i look like.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are there just too many single guys in the chatrooms now? .....We've been on this site for sometime now and we have noticed that there has been a marked increase in the number of single guys using the chatrooms. When we go to clubs they limit the amount of "respectful single men" (as they put it) so why not have a verified couples room or several for that matter. When there are too many men in the rooms couples tend to switch off so it would seem, which one would think is begining to defeat the object of a site like this and no longer sets it apart from the more average or lesser sites available on the internet. Other than this we think that the new chatrooms are working very well and are much more user friendly than the old rooms. Does anyone want to share their thoughts on this matter?

A number of things I notice which I can't help but comment on:

1) Who ever is in any chatroom at anytime is based purely on who is logged in and if they fancy (any) of the chatrooms at that time - I know people that only use the chatrooms as well we people that only use the forums, some that use both, some that use neither (guys, girls, couples) unless admin want to run a report if its not too tricky based on username login/chat activity on a day by day basis for each month? (Believe be the stats might not prove anything).

2) You compare Clubs to Chatrooms? Apart from the fact that comparing any 2 clubs is hard enough, the use of the chatroom is free to all site members (the use of which is free and voluntary, unlike a club which requires membership details and right of Admission being Refused again on a club by club basis).

3) Suggesting that the chatroom adopts a 2-tier system (couples and single fems vs single guys) is not only unhelpful in ridding the "swinger myth" that single guys are the lowest form of scum and should be treated as such ("To the back of the bus the lot of you... should be heard of but not seen!") it also suggests who others should be talking to in chatrooms, much less playing with ("If SOME couples or single fems want single guys, then they can go across the road to the pigpen where they can be found in abundance"). Not good.

4) Is it possible the problem is not more single guys using the chatrooms but perhaps less females and couples? Perhaps they have more domestic stuff at home compared to a lot of single guys?: kids, family,.. secret partners in the case of single fems,.. more offline/social life? Who knows.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying your concern is not valid, I'm just wary of a gung-ho approach to a solution that needs to be thought out."

Took the words right out of my mouth.

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

Ive just started going in the chat rooms recently, and I go in to chat to people, not find prospective meets.

I go in to have a laugh, a bit of banter, get to know people. Dont care if Im chatting to single men, women, couples, the male half of couples, or the female half of couples.

As a single female I personally wouldnt be interested in going into a chat room for couples only.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/12/10 11:35:13]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As a single female I personally wouldnt be interested in going into a chat room for couples only.

"

I think that's the point: they only want couples in this elite room!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i use the chatroom to chat and maybe flirt a tad, i dont use it to look for meets

but if the single men is a issue turn your pm's off

personally they dont bother me x

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By *its_n_pieces OP   Couple
over a year ago

just like to point out that we don't use the chatrooms to find meets either. it's nice to see the feedback on the question....... keep the debate going folks, it's very interesting..... but it's also quite interesting to see that some peoples answers are really quite aggressive.... wonder why?

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex


"just like to point out that we don't use the chatrooms to find meets either. it's nice to see the feedback on the question....... keep the debate going folks, it's very interesting..... but it's also quite interesting to see that some peoples answers are really quite aggressive.... wonder why? "

To quote the opening of your original post


"Are there just too many single guys in the chatrooms now? .....We've been on this site for sometime now and we have noticed that there has been a marked increase in the number of single guys using the chatrooms."

So again I ask - you suggest the number of single guys int he chatroom being a problem in itself? How is it a problem? Is that the real problem? Since when did demographic of users at a certain time by a certain group over a certain period define itself as "a problem"

A problem is when the buses don't run - not when there are too many chavvy 15 year olds on the bus (they all have to get around).

A problem is when the postman doesn't deliver mail - not that he delivers but fails to say "good morning".

To suggest a limit on number of single guys in chatrooms (depending when you go in) raises the suggestion there should be a "cap" on use of chatrooms by single guys, to which I ask "Why? What for? Why should anyone community bear the brunt based purely on opinion?"

I could also ask "Are there too many couples into softswap?" but hey, that's merely an opinion, not a problem.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As someone as already said how would a couple meet a single female...if singles were excluded..I can see the female partner being happy with that but not the male partner, Seems sometimes couples want it all their own way....and i think you will find us single guys are meeting more up with couples than singles...so my point is...if its not broken dont try to fix it

Not unless there is a site called Swinging couples now there's a thought

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think there should be the make your own room option, then everyone would be happy It works on other sites, don't see why it couldn't on here.

I'll still go where the pissheads are -- let's have a d*unk ppl only room, then the alcoholism-ists can bugger off and psycologise (it is so a word!) each other

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well said....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm starting to get quite irritated by the lack of respect for single males.

Now, there are some real idiots out there - but they're not idiots because they're single males, they're idiots because that's the way they are.

There are couples and single females who are just as bad but some of them carry an arrogance that makes them believe it's ok to do that. Simple economic rules of supply and demand mean that, yes, they can get away with it.

But just to say, I think there are some lovely single men out there and it's not fair on them to put quotas on chat rooms, block them from socials and all the other things I've heard suggested lately.

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By *obletonMan
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures


"

But just to say, I think there are some lovely single men out there and it's not fair on them to put quotas on chat rooms, block them from socials and all the other things I've heard suggested lately."

I quite agree - particularly about socials.

Socials are the one of the very few opportunities that single guys get to show their faces and differentiate themselves from the crowd so why take that away from them / us?

Besides that can anyone here honestly recall a social that was mobbed with single guys?

I cant, I've been to a few and you generally get 1 or 2 single guys to every 5 or 6 couples - which I would guess is around the percentage of couples that like to meet them.

Its a SOCIAL ffs not a playdate, a club, or a party where having controlled man/woman ratio would make sense.

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex


"As someone as already said how would a couple meet a single female...if singles were excluded..I can see the female partner being happy with that but not the male partner, Seems sometimes couples want it all their own way....and i think you will find us single guys are meeting more up with couples than singles...so my point is...if its not broken dont try to fix it

Not unless there is a site called Swinging couples now there's a thought"

I believe when "couples only" the idea is "couples and single females" and when they mean "block singles" they likewise mean "block single males". Ergo, single females are never really counted in the "singles" category - more the "eventually couples' plaything".

Yours truly, Devil's Advocate

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex


"

But just to say, I think there are some lovely single men out there and it's not fair on them to put quotas on chat rooms, block them from socials and all the other things I've heard suggested lately.

I quite agree - particularly about socials.

Socials are the one of the very few opportunities that single guys get to show their faces and differentiate themselves from the crowd so why take that away from them / us?

Besides that can anyone here honestly recall a social that was mobbed with single guys?

I cant, I've been to a few and you generally get 1 or 2 single guys to every 5 or 6 couples - which I would guess is around the percentage of couples that like to meet them.

Its a SOCIAL ffs not a playdate, a club, or a party where having controlled man/woman ratio would make sense.

"

1 or 2 single guys to 5 or 6 couples??? Feck me - that's way too many guys, that will cause a riot! Lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

But just to say, I think there are some lovely single men out there and it's not fair on them to put quotas on chat rooms, block them from socials and all the other things I've heard suggested lately.

I quite agree - particularly about socials.

Socials are the one of the very few opportunities that single guys get to show their faces and differentiate themselves from the crowd so why take that away from them / us?

Besides that can anyone here honestly recall a social that was mobbed with single guys?

I cant, I've been to a few and you generally get 1 or 2 single guys to every 5 or 6 couples - which I would guess is around the percentage of couples that like to meet them.

Its a SOCIAL ffs not a playdate, a club, or a party where having controlled man/woman ratio would make sense.

"

One of the things I like about socials and one of the reasons I attend them is to meet the single guys I chat to regularly and want to meet. Not necessarily for sex but just coz we have a right laugh and would like a social night to do it in person. It's a great way to meet up with folk with no pressure. To ban the single guys would defeat half the purpose of them, I think. Well it would for me anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm starting to get quite irritated by the lack of respect for single males.

Now, there are some real idiots out there - but they're not idiots because they're single males, they're idiots because that's the way they are.

There are couples and single females who are just as bad but some of them carry an arrogance that makes them believe it's ok to do that. Simple economic rules of supply and demand mean that, yes, they can get away with it.

But just to say, I think there are some lovely single men out there and it's not fair on them to put quotas on chat rooms, block them from socials and all the other things I've heard suggested lately."

*Stands and applauds*

Well said that woman!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm starting to get quite irritated by the lack of respect for single males.

Now, there are some real idiots out there - but they're not idiots because they're single males, they're idiots because that's the way they are.

There are couples and single females who are just as bad but some of them carry an arrogance that makes them believe it's ok to do that. Simple economic rules of supply and demand mean that, yes, they can get away with it.

But just to say, I think there are some lovely single men out there and it's not fair on them to put quotas on chat rooms, block them from socials and all the other things I've heard suggested lately."

Well said.

There are good and bad people from every group on here, it's just unfortunate that the bad single guys really do upset the apple cart for the good ones.

We don't meet single guys, Jo 'may' in the future but putting limits on the numbers is just madness. As a couple we don't get that many mails off single guys so don't even bother blocking them as that's unfair to those that literally just want to mail Jo or me for a chat, moan or laugh.

Never seen any reason to stop singles going to socials either, even though there is a huge number on the site, not that many seem to go to the socials.

I think it's fair to say, many guys join the site expecting a meet within days and weeks, those are the ones that seem to give the bad reputation to all.

S..

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

when is this new room starting ?

off to create a couple profile, will pop a tinternet pic of my new wife.

she is lovely... blond and big bazzooms.

she will type in pink and so will I

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we 2 have asked 4 couples only chatroom far 2 many single guys musnt be that hard 2 sort it

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else


"we 2 have asked 4 couples only chatroom far 2 many single guys musnt be that hard 2 sort it"

How do you prevent either

A) only the male half of a couple using the room

B) males making fake couples profiles?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If this were a payable site, then you would have a fair point, and there are sites out there for swinging couples only, after speaking to many of them, they are no better than this in some respects. So as the saying goes, "You get what you pay for" Just simply block the people in the room you do not wish to converse with, or have been abusive toward you. Surely if exclusive rooms were formed, the word free would no longer be used, and the site long term would suffer and lose it's appeal to many.

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