FabSwingers.com forum: Timewasters

By *runetteseductress OP Woman
over a year ago

Worcester

Wouldn't it be a great idea if timewasters could have black markers put next to their names?! Saves other people having their time wasted.....

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By *he devil wears pradaWoman
over a year ago

gosport ish

"Wouldn't it be a great idea if timewasters could have black markers put next to their names?! Saves other people having their time wasted..... "
Define a time waster op? I've never come across one

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

Everybody has a different version of what a timewaster is.

Not replying to messages.

Deleting messages.

Chatting then deciding that they dont want to meet.

Wont send a pic.

Wont talk on kik.

Wont send a video of themselves standing on one leg singing Yankee Doodle Dandy...

There would be a lot of black marks.

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By *eviousLiasonsCouple
over a year ago

Travelling

That _runetteseductress is a right timewaster!

See how easy it would be to abuse?

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By *runetteseductress OP Woman
over a year ago

Worcester

Yeah I can see it can be easy to abuse but surely there must be some way to let others know someone is a time waster especially when you've chatted to them for a while, on here, kik, wattsapp and over phone, been given their Facebook name, exchanged pics, arranged to meet then nothing.......

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Yeah I can see it can be easy to abuse but surely there must be some way to let others know someone is a time waster especially when you've chatted to them for a while, on here, kik, wattsapp and over phone, been given their Facebook name, exchanged pics, arranged to meet then nothing......."

You consider your time has been wasted but the person you were interacting with had a right to change their mind. I agree that they should have told you but they didn't.

We all invest time in potential meets, if a meet doesn't actually occur both parties time could be said to have been wasted if you want to look at it that way or both parties could have had their time saved by not having an unsatisfactory meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How about if you turned up for a 1on1 with me (Tony) and didn't feel a sexual connection? In real life I'd be cool about it and just have a laugh and a pleasant evening with you and go our separate ways. I wouldn't call you a timewaster, anyone can have cold feet, or second thoughts at any time. In your scenario though, you'd get a black mark against your name, to avoid the mark should you have sex with someone you don't want to have sex with?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Biggest timewasters on fabswingers are women.

Yes lot's of them all day looking for more fun and never get meet anyone just delete all messages, never answered. Most of them looking for Prince on white Horse but they're forgot about something. Prince on white Horse looking for princess....

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By *pencerabc123Man
over a year ago

Brighton

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By *at69driveMan
over a year ago

Hertford

"Wouldn't it be a great idea if timewasters could have black markers put next to their names?! Saves other people having their time wasted..... "

Surely members should be able to make their own decisions based on the content of the members profile and how they interact during a phone conversation.

I use my own judgement based on the content of the profile and pictures . Verifications are ignored because they are boring and always say the same thing

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover

"Biggest timewasters on fabswingers are women.

They're finding plenty of fun, just not with you, whatever the colour of your horse.

Accept it and move on, otherwise you won't enjoy this site at all.

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By *at69driveMan
over a year ago

Hertford

"Biggest timewasters on fabswingers are women.

"
. How would you know if the women to which you refer meet or don't meet people. They are hardly likely to tell people about their meets. Discretion is a very important attribute.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The only person I would consider a time waster would be someone I arranged to meet who didn't show at all! No explanation or anything... Not someone who took time out but decided there was no connection....

What would be better (for me) is a decent way to tell if someone is using a recent picture. Have often had lovely pictures which in reality are about ten years old xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What would be better (for me) is a decent way to tell if someone is using a recent picture. Have often had lovely pictures which in reality are about ten years old xx"

This is a common one on here, and a real pain in the backside that people choose to mislead in this way.

A way around it would be an ebay type feedback system. Once both have left a verification, a short survey gets filled out 1 to 5 stars, for punctuality, pics accurate, ages accurate, that kind of thing. We've had a great meet with someone whose pics are (by his own admission) 12 years out of date. For my wife he looked even better to her in real life than the pics, so she went ahead anyway, but it is definitely misleading and would have been a very long journey to find that out.

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By *huramMan
over a year ago

London

"The only person I would consider a time waster would be someone I arranged to meet who didn't show at all! No explanation or anything"

I think this is a very fair definition of a timewaster.

To arrange and confirm a meet, then not show without calling or texting to say you cannot make it.

(Even if it's a late last minute cancellation)

That truly is wasting people's time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How I know? Very simple to find out. I spoke with couple of guys about some girls on here. They're also said that.

There is many other ways to find out it, but you have to be clever to know how to do it.

Simply

Of course you not agree with me because you're desperate to meet someone and you want to be the "nice guy" --- Dreamer

Safe your time and don't answer

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By *runetteseductress OP Woman
over a year ago

Worcester

Think I can safely say the guy who I am talking about is a timewaster and I feel sorry for the next person that falls into his trap.

As for girls being the time wasters I think it's pretty much 50/50 on here. Please don't tar all girls with the same brush and I guess I shouldn't tar all guys with the same brush but does make it very difficult to judge whether someone is truly genuine or not.

What I wanna know tho is what the hell do people get out of wasting people's time. Must be pretty sick to get some kind of kick out of it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Timewasters to me are anyone who spams all the local women in the area hoping for a meet without reading their profile.

Like I used to get messages asking to meet in someone's truck when my profile said clubs only. That wasted my time and theirs

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By *ustcutieWoman
over a year ago

edinburgh

"Biggest timewasters on fabswingers are women.

I must be a timewaster then, I'm often on here reading forums and chatting to friends, and I'm forever deleting messages and ignoring mail from folk I'm not interested in meeting! I'm certainly not looking for a prince and I have plenty verifications.... So maybe it's something about your profile or messages that's wrong?

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By *onia1969Woman
over a year ago

Bridgwater

"How I know? Very simple to find out. I spoke with couple of guys about some girls on here. They're also said that.

There is many other ways to find out it, but you have to be clever to know how to do it.

Simply

Of course you not agree with me because you're desperate to meet someone and you want to be the "nice guy" --- Dreamer

Safe your time and don't answer "

Men du the same thing.

It can work both ways if that particular person is not what they are looking for then why should they have to speak. Yes it would be police to say so. But don't always work like that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wouldn't it be a great idea if timewasters could have black markers put next to their names?! Saves other people having their time wasted..... "
absolutely agree. I dont get why people approach you converse well and then boom block you! Or tell you everything they think you wanna hear and when you suggest meeting dissapear into the night like they never existed. Verifications are all good but no one is gonna post bad feed back about themselves so maybe a little mark that indicates they are known to waste time would save a lot of time for a lot of people..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wouldn't it be a great idea if timewasters could have black markers put next to their names?! Saves other people having their time wasted..... absolutely agree. I dont get why people approach you converse well and then boom block you! Or tell you everything they think you wanna hear and when you suggest meeting dissapear into the night like they never existed. Verifications are all good but no one is gonna post bad feed back about themselves so maybe a little mark that indicates they are known to waste time would save a lot of time for a lot of people.. "

Way too many bitter people on here who cannot take polite rejection who would abuse that. Some block or go quiet because maybe the other person said something that put them off. Chatting on here then going quiet/blocking etc isn't really time wasting, you'd probably be on here anyway chatting to potential meets. To me, a time waster is someone you arrange a meet with, sort the venue, spend time getting ready, sort child care etc, time and money travelling to be let down last minute with a poor excuse or no contact whatsoever.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A more advanced verification scheme would require more moderation abs more cost.. But since most people don't want to pay , who foots the bill for a more labour intensive (expensive) verification system ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That happened to me it's very rude and very immature a polite sorry but no I can't make it or have changed my mind is polite not a pure blank maybe a name and shame would be better

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"That happened to me it's very rude and very immature a polite sorry but no I can't make it or have changed my mind is polite not a pure blank maybe a name and shame would be better "

I don't think it would. We could put the following in the forum and the onus would be on you to prove us wrong.

"Geejaydee74 agreed to meet us, we paid for a hotel and bought champagne as she requested. Despite messaging us assuring us she was on her way she didn't turn up. This woman is a time waster"

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By *onia1969Woman
over a year ago

Bridgwater

Omg I've just been accused of being a time waster lol ....just cos I'm not replying to his messages straight away . tried explaining I'm not on here 24/7 . didn't have to explain. Yet he also slow in replying.

Rant over . plenty more fish in the sea as they say

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By *eovilcouple76Couple
over a year ago

yeovil

"The only person I would consider a time waster would be someone I arranged to meet who didn't show at all! No explanation or anything

I think this is a very fair definition of a timewaster.

To arrange and confirm a meet, then not show without calling or texting to say you cannot make it.

(Even if it's a late last minute cancellation)

That truly is wasting people's time."

Ah, you mean like the 4 guys last night that were happy to meet us, happy for us to arrange the hotels and have the hassle of arranging cover at home, happy for the wife to spend ages getting ready but didn't have the common decency to txt or phone to say they weren't going to bother, even though they could message to say "just leaving, be with you soon".

The ones that messaged this morning for idle chat as if nothing had happened. The ones who are now blocked and will never get the chance to have any fun with the wife, and probably the ones who will be complaining in the forums soon that they never get any meets.

Seems there's more and more people on here that justify the name tag of time waster.

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By *estmidscoupleCouple
over a year ago

West Midlands

"The only person I would consider a time waster would be someone I arranged to meet who didn't show at all! No explanation or anything

I think this is a very fair definition of a timewaster.

To arrange and confirm a meet, then not show without calling or texting to say you cannot make it.

(Even if it's a late last minute cancellation)

That truly is wasting people's time.

Seems there's more and more people on here that justify the name tag of time waster. "

and will doubtless do exactly the same to the next people they convince they are "super genuine and ALWAYS turn up"....

3 of our no-shows are doubtless still on here even though we did report them

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover

"The only person I would consider a time waster would be someone I arranged to meet who didn't show at all! No explanation or anything

I think this is a very fair definition of a timewaster.

To arrange and confirm a meet, then not show without calling or texting to say you cannot make it.

(Even if it's a late last minute cancellation)

That truly is wasting people's time.

Seems there's more and more people on here that justify the name tag of time waster.

and will doubtless do exactly the same to the next people they convince they are "super genuine and ALWAYS turn up"....

3 of our no-shows are doubtless still on here even though we did report them"

Oh and doubtless they'll be claiming that it's all those other bad guys that spoil it for us "genuine" guys....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wouldn't it be a great idea if timewasters could have black markers put next to their names?! Saves other people having their time wasted..... "
yes timewasters come in different forms women who take pics to hide their true size not that size bothers me ,women that chat to you for ages then say they don't want to meet ,women who say they will meet and pull out at last minute I understand the period excuse if its genuine ,women who just don't turn up after you've footed bill for hotel and travel expenses ,women who post meets and even have websites and ask you to meet at the beach but don't show or answer their website messages ,women who turn up take the meal and the drinks and say not interested ,women who say they are looking for regular enjoy the meet buy don't meet again ,couples that do that as well their are many different ways to waste eachothers time its part and parcel of fab and the take it or leave it offer of sex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wouldn't it be a great idea if timewasters could have black markers put next to their names?! Saves other people having their time wasted..... "
also a person might waste your time the attraction is maybe not fully there for you but may be enthralled with their next victim

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree - we have the right to change our minds. Some folk simply bottle it and I can understand that as I often get apprehensive about a new meet. However I never feel I string anyone along - sometimes you enjoy exchanging messages bit when it progresses to a phone chat you don't gel so decide not to take it further

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I agree - we have the right to change our minds. Some folk simply bottle it and I can understand that as I often get apprehensive about a new meet. However I never feel I string anyone along - sometimes you enjoy exchanging messages bit when it progresses to a phone chat you don't gel so decide not to take it further"
hey I completely get that that's why I said phone chat or meet in public place ,I've had a few bottle meeting me one woman did it twice and regretted it once she actually met me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That happened to me it's very rude and very immature a polite sorry but no I can't make it or have changed my mind is polite not a pure blank maybe a name and shame would be better "

This is a superb idea. Let's see how naming and shaming works.....

I had a meet planned with geejaydee74 but failed to show up.

Please avoid and block this absolute timewaster everyone, nothing but a fake!!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The only person I would consider a time waster would be someone I arranged to meet who didn't show at all! No explanation or anything

I think this is a very fair definition of a timewaster.

To arrange and confirm a meet, then not show without calling or texting to say you cannot make it.

(Even if it's a late last minute cancellation)

That truly is wasting people's time.

Seems there's more and more people on here that justify the name tag of time waster. "

Now that's totally outrageous. Did u have to foot the hotel bill?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I footed hotel bill and travel expenses but a more recent time wasting experience was with a guy on here who asked if I would be interested in joining him and a woman in a 3some I said I would so we group chatted for ages swapped pics and vids so it was agreed we would meet he had said he would book hotel but then change of pla I was asked to do it ,it doesn't bother me so I agreed but he came up with a specific hotel which was quite expensive I said I have a limit to the price that I will pay for hotels and suggested others I was all of a sudden castigated for this choice he immediately deleted me from group chat and was insulted hehe that was timewasting I would say plenty of good hotels within my price range bearing in mind we were both chipping in lady not paying !!

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By *eovilcouple76Couple
over a year ago

yeovil

"The only person I would consider a time waster would be someone I arranged to meet who didn't show at all! No explanation or anything

I think this is a very fair definition of a timewaster.

To arrange and confirm a meet, then not show without calling or texting to say you cannot make it.

(Even if it's a late last minute cancellation)

That truly is wasting people's time.

Seems there's more and more people on here that justify the name tag of time waster.

Now that's totally outrageous. Did u have to foot the hotel bill?"

Yes we did. wouldnt have been an issue if they had turned up. But basically we spent £95 on a room to have a nights sleep. Could have done that at home for free.

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By *estmidscoupleCouple
over a year ago

West Midlands

Makes you doubt your sanity though, well does us, we have been convinced utterly that every one of the no shows would indeed turn up. Well better luck next time and their loss they didn't have the balls to turn up

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By *rs-Naughty_Mr-CuddlesCouple
over a year ago

Nr coleford

you can set up a met then with bout 5 mins before you get the my cars playing up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never had anyone waste my time by not turning up. Usually I can tell if they go on endless messaging they are not genuine, just getting of by chat I refer them to chat room and stop message flow, Sorted. NEXT

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I chatted to a guy on and off for years under various profiles of his, he kept deleting then coming back with a different profile. We finally both had the opportunity to meet and had arranged a meet, a family member turned up at mine so I asked him to hold off for 15-20 mins until said family member left, heard nothing else from him for hours. When he finally messaged me he said he got spooked so went and met someone else.

My point is, in my eyes a complete and utter time wasting fuckwit but to all the other women he'd met he was completely genuine so would it be fair for him to have a black mark against his name?

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By *kindofmagicXXXMan
over a year ago

Bristol

Been messaging people for quite sometime but struggle to get a meet but I am far from a timewaster. It ain't for the want of trying. Does that make me a timewaster?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wouldn't it be a great idea if timewasters could have black markers put next to their names?! Saves other people having their time wasted..... "
it wouldn't achieve much certainly where women timewasters are concerned too many other men desperate to get their time wasted ,o had a meet arranged for Sunday from Wednesday last week I made my way to station Sunday morning sitting waiting for train she messages me as a reply to me saying see you at 1.30 pm and says she can't make it nothing else just that

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By *egan2743Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham

"Everybody has a different version of what a timewaster is.

Not replying to messages.

Deleting messages.

Chatting then deciding that they dont want to meet.

Wont send a pic.

Wont talk on kik.

Wont send a video of themselves standing on one leg singing Yankee Doodle Dandy...

There would be a lot of black marks.

Agree.

I believe time wasters should be saved for when someone agrees to meet then doesn't turn up! It sometimes takes a few messages to get to know if you want to meet someone so if you talk for a bit and decide they aren't right for you then fine, no problem in that at all.

Just don't then agree to meet up and not show up!

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By *egan2743Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham

"Timewasters to me are anyone who spams all the local women in the area hoping for a meet without reading their profile.

Like I used to get messages asking to meet in someone's truck when my profile said clubs only. That wasted my time and theirs"

So true. Really hate that and it's so obvious too!!

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By *elly foxTV/TS
over a year ago

Hampshire

My first Fab meet Cost £165. New Wig clothes and heels all Specified by the Guy ..train fare Hotel fees And dickhead was a No Show... However i got on Fab " TV in hotel without Date anyone want to take his Place "....4 men showed up and i Had to Fuck them All ...or be Branded a Timewaster..lol ...Thank you Fab ..Exellent... xxxx Kelly fox

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By *ustBigBoyMan
over a year ago

Farnborough

It would be unfair if a black mark appeared by someone's name after one failed meet, because there would of course be trollers going around adding black marks just for the kicks. A system put in place where when you block that timewaster you have an option of 'timewaster' as the reason for blocking, then say after 5-10 other people blocking and clicking timewaster for a specific username the black mark would appear. That way it would be known that it isn't just one person who they've gibbed off, but quite a few. Therefore making it obvious they are a timewaster. Understandable? Or have I rambled too much? The method is sound, I'm just crap at explaining things

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By *estmidscoupleCouple
over a year ago

West Midlands

"It would be unfair if a black mark appeared by someone's name after one failed meet, because there would of course be trollers going around adding black marks just for the kicks. A system put in place where when you block that timewaster you have an option of 'timewaster' as the reason for blocking, then say after 5-10 other people blocking and clicking timewaster for a specific username the black mark would appear. That way it would be known that it isn't just one person who they've gibbed off, but quite a few. Therefore making it obvious they are a timewaster. Understandable? Or have I rambled too much? The method is sound, I'm just crap at explaining things

"
That's a brilliant idea, it would take some serious collusion to block someone in a nasty way. Now go have a liedown, this thinking lark is hard work

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is nothing worse than looking through the window and as the time goes by a realization dawns on you that h'es not coming then feeling humiliated

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are so many different interpretations of timewasters that a black mark would be unfair/could be used as a vendetta

what's the point of coming on a site with a black mark next to your name

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jack n I had listed a meet Tues past. We had a cpl interested in meeting. We drove the distance, mailed them as agreed & no reply. We sat about for a while and decided then to make our own fun.

Later that eve they had a cheek to mail us with no apology and turning it rnd that we were in that area having another meet. Jack mailed them sayn only meet was yourselves. Ha msg back was we'll arrange another. Er definitely don't think so they wasted our time travelling for over an hr there and back. Definitely timewasters in my eyes!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Admin have the opportunity to see all messages .

A timewaster is someone who says they will meet at such and such a time at an agreed place .

So if a person doesn't show , with no excuse , there is enough evidence available to use to prove they are timewasters .

So it's a great idea to let the rest of us know of potential people like this .

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By *lighty1Woman
over a year ago

You Dont Need to Know, right now

Admin see messages in Fab, but they know nothing about meets arranged by phone. And Admin have NO evidence that someone didn't turn up for a meet (it's one person's word against the other's).

If someone is a 'no-show' without prior warning, report the profile to Admin - there's an option for 'arranged meet and didn't turn up'. I'm sure Admin won't take action if only one person reports, but Admin will know if someone is a 'repeat offender', and will take the appropriate action.

A public naming-and-shaming system would be far too open to vindictive misuse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wouldn't it be a great idea if timewasters could have black markers put next to their names?! Saves other people having their time wasted..... "

Tell me about it

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

The site is a contact tool - not responsible for setting up, confirming or managing actual meets.

Contacting complete strangers with the hope of meeting for casual sex offers little in the way of a guarantee and is obviously prone to risks of you getting let down.

Even with the best efforts (phone calls, webcam chat, a pre-play social meet) you can end up getting let down and disappointed.

You want guarantees of meeting someone face to face? Go to a club or hire a professional.

Expecting the site to monitor every interaction its thousands of members have is ridiculous. It's a free site. If a 'black mark' of some kind was placed on a profile how hard would it be to simply delete that profile and start afresh?

The best tools you can use have nothing to do with the site - common sense, a healthy sense of realism and a reduced level of expectancy. It's the friggin internet. A world where people can say what they want, portray themselves how they want and interact in misleading ways with no chance of any real world comeback.

If folk are finding themselves regularly getting let down then try changing what you're doing. It might improve your experiences.

Many, many people enjoy their lives on Fab and similar sites with none of the problems regularly touted regarding 'timewasters'. If they didn't the site would soon disappear. It's honestly not that hard to be one of them.

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

"The site is a contact tool - not responsible for setting up, confirming or managing actual meets.

Contacting complete strangers with the hope of meeting for casual sex offers little in the way of a guarantee and is obviously prone to risks of you getting let down.

Even with the best efforts (phone calls, webcam chat, a pre-play social meet) you can end up getting let down and disappointed.

You want guarantees of meeting someone face to face? Go to a club or hire a professional.

If folk are finding themselves regularly getting let down then try changing what you're doing. It might improve your experiences.

FFS stop being sensible

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"The site is a contact tool - not responsible for setting up, confirming or managing actual meets.

Contacting complete strangers with the hope of meeting for casual sex offers little in the way of a guarantee and is obviously prone to risks of you getting let down.

Even with the best efforts (phone calls, webcam chat, a pre-play social meet) you can end up getting let down and disappointed.

You want guarantees of meeting someone face to face? Go to a club or hire a professional.

If folk are finding themselves regularly getting let down then try changing what you're doing. It might improve your experiences.

FFS stop being sensible

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By *km45Man
over a year ago

UTTOXETER

"The only person I would consider a time waster would be someone I arranged to meet who didn't show at all! No explanation or anything... Not someone who took time out but decided there was no connection....

What would be better (for me) is a decent way to tell if someone is using a recent picture. Have often had lovely pictures which in reality are about ten years old xx"

Totally agree with you. Met up with someone recently (not from this site) and she was definitely not was what I expected. As we were only meeting for a drink I had a great evening of non stop conversation. Needless to say I didn't see her again.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"Everybody has a different version of what a timewaster is."

Messaging someone when that someone's profile clearly says they are not their type.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Everybody has a different version of what a timewaster is.

Messaging someone when that someone's profile clearly says they are not their type."

But then surely they've only wasted their own time?

A simple delete takes but a second!

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By *estmidscoupleCouple
over a year ago

West Midlands

I think , in a nutshell, to us it's arranging to meet and no-show with no notice at all. Instant block.Met a very nice guy today, bang on time so will def be seeing him again

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By *loriajonCouple
over a year ago

near u

Members who have been blocked by a large number of other members should be removed from the site

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Members who have been blocked by a large number of other members should be removed from the site"

Why?

We block for all kinds of reasons.

Simply because we're not interested in someone doesn't mean there's anything wrong with them?

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By *hocko87Man
over a year ago

dublin

Ooh that would b a brilliant idea I'm sick of them to b honest . I don't know what they get out of it .

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