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Feature idea - click button to say 'no thanks'

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By *ophieslut OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Central

My idea is for the addition of an optional to use sending of an automated reply, to say something along the lines of 'thank you for your interest, but no thanks'. This button could be optionally clicked/selected, when blocking another user.

The motivation for this is that blocking is fairly standard practise on Fab, but a large number of people would be happier, if they got closure on an open discussion/expression of interest. It would also save users having to write a personalised message, should they chose to do so.

Ideally, users would set their own words as their standard message. They'd be able to vary it on any occasion, for one individual message, or as an amendment to their standard message, that would then be ready for use for all messages afterwards.

The button could be in addition to the 'Block' option, and could be a 'Block and send your standard message'. Once clicked, it would bring up the text and the user could edit the words or just click again, and it's sent.

Be good to know if others think it's a good idea. It would be entirely optional to use, so if users didn't like it, they'd never need to use it at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it would be a good idea to have it available for those who would like it, but I'm not convinced this would actually satisfy those who are hurt by being blocked or having their message deleted.

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By *ophieslut OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Central


"I think it would be a good idea to have it available for those who would like it, but I'm not convinced this would actually satisfy those who are hurt by being blocked or having their message deleted. "

No, those who are sensitive to rejection will still have that. But I feel it would offer something that allows them to get the point and start to let go.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think if people read the q&a that admin have already done where it states that a no reply means not interested there would be no need for this.

It would probably only cause a lot more hassle with people saying how it's no personal enough because let's face it even with the option of added own message how many would be bothered.

A no reply or a block just means not interested.

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By *ophieslut OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Central

You're right Moodymoo, but I see it as something that could help lubricate the wellbeing of the site. The rules are clear, no reply means not interested at this point or ever and block equals zero interest.

I used something similar on a different sexual site and it was widely used. It seemed to keep others chilled and there weren't frequent forum posts moaning about where users stood, left dissatisfied after not hearing or being blocked - blocking was still used, but people seemed to understand better and accept it fully.

If this feature used half of fabs annual development budget, it may be overkill. But only admin know if it would have a small or not so small implementation impact.

Another benefit is that it may lower the volumes of users who create multiple profiles, in a vain attempt to be sure someone won't meet them. A clear no means no could halt that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just see it as fab holding the hands of those who for whatever reason do not understand that no reply or block means not interested.

I personally would like to see the back of the sent message box so people could then just forget about whether it's been read and why haven't they replied.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Responding to an unwanted message from someone also means that they can then get round a filter should you subsequently choose to filter out the group to which they belong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Didn't they try this ages ago and people complained it wasn't personal?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My idea is for the addition of an optional to use sending of an automated reply, to say something along the lines of 'thank you for your interest, but no thanks'. This button could be optionally clicked/selected, when blocking another user.

The motivation for this is that blocking is fairly standard practise on Fab, but a large number of people would be happier, if they got closure on an open discussion/expression of interest. It would also save users having to write a personalised message, should they chose to do so.

Ideally, users would set their own words as their standard message. They'd be able to vary it on any occasion, for one individual message, or as an amendment to their standard message, that would then be ready for use for all messages afterwards.

The button could be in addition to the 'Block' option, and could be a 'Block and send your standard message'. Once clicked, it would bring up the text and the user could edit the words or just click again, and it's sent.

Be good to know if others think it's a good idea. It would be entirely optional to use, so if users didn't like it, they'd never need to use it at all."

As a former web developer, I know that this is incredibly easy to implement. I also agree that it would avoid hurting the feelings of those that experience rejection. The only question is: do you really want to do that?

Maybe these guys (or women) lack social skills required to attract a member of the opposite sex so some would say that by Darwin's rules, we shouldn't be meddling with the natural order of things!

Ok, I'm semi-serious but I think the issue is not purely technological...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like this idea.

I would like an 'up middle finger' or fuck off smiley to accompany my automated rejection.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I like this idea.

I would like an 'up middle finger' or fuck off smiley to accompany my automated rejection.

"

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By *rivate lashesCouple
over a year ago

isleworth


"I like this idea.

I would like an 'up middle finger' or fuck off smiley to accompany my automated rejection.

"

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By *ophieslut OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Central


"I like this idea.

I would like an 'up middle finger' or fuck off smiley to accompany my automated rejection.

"

I'm intrigued what a fuck off smiley would be like? Would it just be the middle finger, or a fab special 'fuck you'.

I think overall we should play nice. However much we may think that someone's distasteful message needs an appropriate response, they're better just blocked.

I'm thinking more of those who have been entirely decent in their interaction with us and letting them go, with a short notification.

And good point, earlier: it shouldn't support the user being able to get around any blocking that we enable.

It may seem like we're treating others as precious little babes but it does allow them the courtesy of not taking any uncertainty and holding onto negativity that may affect their interactions with others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I like this idea.

I would like an 'up middle finger' or fuck off smiley to accompany my automated rejection.

I'm intrigued what a fuck off smiley would be like? Would it just be the middle finger, or a fab special 'fuck you'.

I think overall we should play nice. However much we may think that someone's distasteful message needs an appropriate response, they're better just blocked.

I'm thinking more of those who have been entirely decent in their interaction with us and letting them go, with a short notification.

And good point, earlier: it shouldn't support the user being able to get around any blocking that we enable.

It may seem like we're treating others as precious little babes but it does allow them the courtesy of not taking any uncertainty and holding onto negativity that may affect their interactions with others. "

Dunno, it would either be two fingers up, or say fuck off. I'm not fussy...

I wouldn't use it for everyone, just the crap messages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I like this idea.

I would like an 'up middle finger' or fuck off smiley to accompany my automated rejection.

I'm intrigued what a fuck off smiley would be like? Would it just be the middle finger, or a fab special 'fuck you'.

I think overall we should play nice. However much we may think that someone's distasteful message needs an appropriate response, they're better just blocked.

I'm thinking more of those who have been entirely decent in their interaction with us and letting them go, with a short notification.

And good point, earlier: it shouldn't support the user being able to get around any blocking that we enable.

It may seem like we're treating others as precious little babes but it does allow them the courtesy of not taking any uncertainty and holding onto negativity that may affect their interactions with others. "

Or maybe they should grow some balls and realise it just means not interested. If they are that insecure that they hold onto negativity regarding a blocking or no reply then maybe this isn't the place for them.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

It was used on another site and you had people still complaint that it was an impersonal mail back.

I think Admin have answered about it on another thread

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Complaining *

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've used this facility on other sites and it doesn't stop the guy from responding.

I send a nice "no thanks" reply every time I get a message from someone I don't want to meet. Sometimes it works, sometimes it's seen as an answer.

Maybe if it said no thanks and was accompanied by a block then I would use it.

There's no real fix for the mixed reactions you get when responding/not responding to the messages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's a good idea, particularly if you could personalise your own standard response.

I always try to reply if the guy has clearly made some effort to read the profile and come up with a thoughtful message, even if they look like Captain Pugwash, and most guys are very appreciative of a polite but tactful brush off.

It's also a good way to avoid the potential nutters without having to block them which I always think should be a last resort unless they're rude from the outset.

Let's face it, the dating/mating game is pretty tough for all concerned so a little courtesy isn't a bad idea......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think it would be a good idea to have it available for those who would like it, but I'm not convinced this would actually satisfy those who are hurt by being blocked or having their message deleted.

No, those who are sensitive to rejection will still have that. But I feel it would offer something that allows them to get the point and start to let go. "

This made me laugh no offence its not a therapy session to help folk with rejection issues If I get rejected just accept and move on its part of real life and not just fab.

Sentiments ok but I fail to see need of it why not just send message saying no thanks and or block.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think it's a good idea, particularly if you could personalise your own standard response.

I always try to reply if the guy has clearly made some effort to read the profile and come up with a thoughtful message, even if they look like Captain Pugwash, and most guys are very appreciative of a polite but tactful brush off.

It's also a good way to avoid the potential nutters without having to block them which I always think should be a last resort unless they're rude from the outset.

Let's face it, the dating/mating game is pretty tough for all concerned so a little courtesy isn't a bad idea......

"

The section about personalising your response can already be done its called a message lol. That may sound arsey but think about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think it's a good idea, particularly if you could personalise your own standard response.

I always try to reply if the guy has clearly made some effort to read the profile and come up with a thoughtful message, even if they look like Captain Pugwash, and most guys are very appreciative of a polite but tactful brush off.

It's also a good way to avoid the potential nutters without having to block them which I always think should be a last resort unless they're rude from the outset.

Let's face it, the dating/mating game is pretty tough for all concerned so a little courtesy isn't a bad idea......

The section about personalising your response can already be done its called a message lol. That may sound arsey but think about it."

Yes, I have thought about it but you clearly don't get many messages?!

The whole point of this thread is to discuss the merits of a semi-automated response.

If the default is "no thanks" then fine, I can manage that, but being a little more elaborate, albeit with a standardised response takes time.

It's perfectly possible to find a standard response that doesn't look like one...... Send me a message and I'll show you!

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By *dventuroususCouple
over a year ago

sunderland

No no no, bad idea, no reply = no thanks simple as that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I just got blocked for the first time? Not great but I guess I'll live...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like this idea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Admin has tried a no thanks button. People went from complaining

Why don't people reply even if it is a no thanks?

to

The automated no thanks reply button is impersonal. Is it so hard to type thanks but no thanks?

You just can't win.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No reply means not interested.cant see the point in a message saying not interested.get over it and move on.dont know how people feel upset or rejected just cause they don't get a reply off someone they never spoke to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will never understand how someone would prefer an inbox full of rejection messages rather than being adult enough to accept that someone has not replied because they're not interested in what you have to offer...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My idea is for the addition of an optional to use sending of an automated reply, to say something along the lines of 'thank you for your interest, but no thanks'. This button could be optionally clicked/selected, when blocking another user.

The motivation for this is that blocking is fairly standard practise on Fab, but a large number of people would be happier, if they got closure on an open discussion/expression of interest. It would also save users having to write a personalised message, should they chose to do so.

Ideally, users would set their own words as their standard message. They'd be able to vary it on any occasion, for one individual message, or as an amendment to their standard message, that would then be ready for use for all messages afterwards.

The button could be in addition to the 'Block' option, and could be a 'Block and send your standard message'. Once clicked, it would bring up the text and the user could edit the words or just click again, and it's sent.

Be good to know if others think it's a good idea. It would be entirely optional to use, so if users didn't like it, they'd never need to use it at all."

The delete button serves well as anyone can see in their message history that they have been deleted, if they don't have the brains for that then they can't read anyway...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My idea is for the addition of an optional to use sending of an automated reply, to say something along the lines of 'thank you for your interest, but no thanks'. This button could be optionally clicked/selected, when blocking another user.

The motivation for this is that blocking is fairly standard practise on Fab, but a large number of people would be happier, if they got closure on an open discussion/expression of interest. It would also save users having to write a personalised message, should they chose to do so.

Ideally, users would set their own words as their standard message. They'd be able to vary it on any occasion, for one individual message, or as an amendment to their standard message, that would then be ready for use for all messages afterwards.

The button could be in addition to the 'Block' option, and could be a 'Block and send your standard message'. Once clicked, it would bring up the text and the user could edit the words or just click again, and it's sent.

Be good to know if others think it's a good idea. It would be entirely optional to use, so if users didn't like it, they'd never need to use it at all.

The delete button serves well as anyone can see in their message history that they have been deleted, if they don't have the brains for that then they can't read anyway... "

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By *ophieslut OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Central


"I think it would be a good idea to have it available for those who would like it, but I'm not convinced this would actually satisfy those who are hurt by being blocked or having their message deleted.

No, those who are sensitive to rejection will still have that. But I feel it would offer something that allows them to get the point and start to let go.

This made me laugh no offence its not a therapy session to help folk with rejection issues If I get rejected just accept and move on its part of real life and not just fab.

Sentiments ok but I fail to see need of it why not just send message saying no thanks and or block."

'' why not just send message saying no thanks and or block'' This proposal would give you the automated ability to optionally say no thanks as well as optionally block.

If someone sent a similar 'no thanks' each time, they could write their text and send each time they chose to - as well as potentially blocking them, to prevent vengeful messages back: that some get, or a recurrence in future interest from the same user.

I've experienced its use on a US site a lot, and people never complain about it, as far as I'm aware.

As for the over tender souls who have trouble with rejection: this isn't a cure all for that - nothing will ever be. It's largely a clear way to end interaction with a time saving device. When you get loads of messages, anything that saves time can be helpful imo. Doing nothing is the quickest, but without using a block option, the senders will repeat their sending. Block and reject stops that and gives them a clear no thanks or some thumbs/fingers up etc.

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By *dventuroususCouple
over a year ago

sunderland


"I think it would be a good idea to have it available for those who would like it, but I'm not convinced this would actually satisfy those who are hurt by being blocked or having their message deleted.

No, those who are sensitive to rejection will still have that. But I feel it would offer something that allows them to get the point and start to let go.

This made me laugh no offence its not a therapy session to help folk with rejection issues If I get rejected just accept and move on its part of real life and not just fab.

Sentiments ok but I fail to see need of it why not just send message saying no thanks and or block.

'' why not just send message saying no thanks and or block'' This proposal would give you the automated ability to optionally say no thanks as well as optionally block.

If someone sent a similar 'no thanks' each time, they could write their text and send each time they chose to - as well as potentially blocking them, to prevent vengeful messages back: that some get, or a recurrence in future interest from the same user.

I've experienced its use on a US site a lot, and people never complain about it, as far as I'm aware.

As for the over tender souls who have trouble with rejection: this isn't a cure all for that - nothing will ever be. It's largely a clear way to end interaction with a time saving device. When you get loads of messages, anything that saves time can be helpful imo. Doing nothing is the quickest, but without using a block option, the senders will repeat their sending. Block and reject stops that and gives them a clear no thanks or some thumbs/fingers up etc."

ignore/block/delete is a clear enough answer, no need for anything else.

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By *rnortholtMan
over a year ago

Waveney Valley

I'm all for this.

A no reply can mean a range of things from "not interested" to "my inbox is overflowing."

Let's be honest, sometimes it just means I've had a better offer but want to keep my options open! We can all grumble about people who "don't get it" but I don't presume everyone on here is like that, otherwise I would leave the site.

Yes, there are people who don't respond well to rejection, but for those of us who like to acknowledge the effort people have put in, but don't want to meet and find themselves overwhelmed by responses, then this might be a useful tool.

While we're on the subject, I personally would like the facility to block messages without blocking people in chat/from viewing the profile.

If I compare the site to a club, you wouldn't expect someone you'd said no to, to be banned from the bar or any other room you might be in, would you?

Going online means we're robbed of a lot of the non-verbal communication we rely on when f2f, so any tools that help plug those gaps must surely be welcome?

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By *ophieslut OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Great feedback and idea.

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By *lue and RedCouple
over a year ago

Ulverston

[Removed by poster at 28/07/15 00:09:46]

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By *lue and RedCouple
over a year ago

Ulverston

Some great ideas on here. One thing we were thinking was a way to filter unread mesages. A way we could specifically find messages from couples females or single males. Sort of like what you already have for the hot pics. And maybe a way for you to block winks from a certain group. We don't mind winks from couples but don't really pay any attention from those from single men, a way of blocking them would make it easier to see who has winked us without stopping them messaging us. Probably asking a lot there but it was just a idea. Really like the being abke to make a personalised auto response idea think a generic one is a bit annoying.

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By *BW SnowbunnyWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere over the Rainbow

I've tried sending nice 'no thank you' replies but always get a reply to those. One guy made me feel really guilty - I sent the no thanks etc. he came back saying, 'I knew I wouldn't be your type'. ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've tried sending nice 'no thank you' replies but always get a reply to those. One guy made me feel really guilty - I sent the no thanks etc. he came back saying, 'I knew I wouldn't be your type'. ??

"

This site is well known for it's pity fucks i reckon.

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By *ajandroseMan
over a year ago

tamworth


"I think it would be a good idea to have it available for those who would like it, but I'm not convinced this would actually satisfy those who are hurt by being blocked or having their message deleted.

No, those who are sensitive to rejection will still have that. But I feel it would offer something that allows them to get the point and start to let go.

This made me laugh no offence its not a therapy session to help folk with rejection issues If I get rejected just accept and move on its part of real life and not just fab.

Sentiments ok but I fail to see need of it why not just send message saying no thanks and or block.

'' why not just send message saying no thanks and or block'' This proposal would give you the automated ability to optionally say no thanks as well as optionally block.

If someone sent a similar 'no thanks' each time, they could write their text and send each time they chose to - as well as potentially blocking them, to prevent vengeful messages back: that some get, or a recurrence in future interest from the same user.

I've experienced its use on a US site a lot, and people never complain about it, as far as I'm aware.

As for the over tender souls who have trouble with rejection: this isn't a cure all for that - nothing will ever be. It's largely a clear way to end interaction with a time saving device. When you get loads of messages, anything that saves time can be helpful imo. Doing nothing is the quickest, but without using a block option, the senders will repeat their sending. Block and reject stops that and gives them a clear no thanks or some thumbs/fingers up etc."

Totally agree with you , there are always people who will find the problem in every solution , rather than your idea which is a solution to a problem , we would rather be deleted and blocked , that way we could not see the person ,and vice versa , and saves you deleting messages - for the lucky few who are so inundated and get upset when people send winks / messages ??

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By *huramMan
over a year ago

London


"This site is well known for it's pity fucks i reckon. "

How can I get one of those?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1. Type out your "no thank you" message.

2. Copy message.

3. Reply... paste.... repeat...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think it would be a good idea to have it available for those who would like it, but I'm not convinced this would actually satisfy those who are hurt by being blocked or having their message deleted.

No, those who are sensitive to rejection will still have that. But I feel it would offer something that allows them to get the point and start to let go. "

Agree.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

I think this is a great idea, then the could be a button for the recipient of the auto message to send an auto "Why not, what's wrong with me" or another button for random abusive ones:

"Well I wouldn't want to fuck you anyway"

"I was only doing you a favour fatso"

etc, etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This site is well known for it's pity fucks i reckon.

How can I get one of those? "

no idea, i don't give them out. But from some mens topics on here and messages i think this site must b well known for them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No no no, bad idea, no reply = no thanks simple as that."

But...

1. no reply makes many people send another message a few hours later saying you are rude for reading/deleting then not replying.

2. Replying "thanks but no thanks" seems to make the morons become ultra desperate and start pleeding for it!

3. Blocking stops people from looking at your public pics which have been made public for all to see. Why be a exhibitionist and show public pics then ban 95% of people who are even showing an interests in them???

Judge each message as to the likely outcome rather than apply a blanket rule for all.

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By *ilk n SteelCouple
over a year ago

Croydon

It's a good point, and some good replies added.

As like most of you, we get messages saying write back if interested. If we are not interested, do we write back to say so, which violates the request, or do we just ignore, which seems rude?

On occasion, including one today, we wrote back to say no thanks, not interested, only to get a reply asking why we are not interested.

As some have posted above, occasionally the rejected couple, or person, can get upset and even abusive.

A no thanks, don't contact us again button, with or without a block, may be the solution.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be honest, some profiles on here need more than a "no thanks" button...

What we also need is a massive red button like they have in Britains Got Talent. It should also leave a big red watermark cross on the offending profile for 24 hrs to warn others. Then Ant & Dec get sent to their house to laugh at them!!!

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

I too think that this would be a great feature. One button which Deletes the message, sends a standardised, in offensive "no thanks" message and blocks the sender to prevent further contact.

Guys would get their response to messages, ladies would avoid tge abuse and inboxes would be kept clear.. excellent

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By *dventuroususCouple
over a year ago

sunderland


"No no no, bad idea, no reply = no thanks simple as that.

But...

1. no reply makes many people send another message a few hours later saying you are rude for reading/deleting then not replying.

2. Replying "thanks but no thanks" seems to make the morons become ultra desperate and start pleeding for it!

3. Blocking stops people from looking at your public pics which have been made public for all to see. Why be a exhibitionist and show public pics then ban 95% of people who are even showing an interests in them???

Judge each message as to the likely outcome rather than apply a blanket rule for all. "

But, it isnt the no reply that makes people react that way, its the person/people themselves, this is a swinging site, egos shouldnt need wet nursing because people choose not to reply to those they arent interested in, saving/using there time for people they are interested in, if people get butt hurt because they dont get a reply then thats there problem not the person that didnt reply.

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