FabSwingers.com forum: Face pic escrow

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I would like to suggest the creation of an escrow system for face pics.

At the moment users have to play power games with each other, asking the others to send pics before they send theirs, etc. This can create unnecessary issues, especially leaving the first person exchanging vulnerable to being recognised by the second person as someone they know. The second person can then not reciprocate, armed with the knowledge that someone they know is a swinger... without the first person knowing they know this. This could, potentially, lead to blackmailing scenarios as you wouldn't know they were also swingers.

My idea is this...

1) Person A suggests to person B that they should share face pics.

2) Person A then puts their face pic into escrow.

3) Person B cannot see this photo until they put their own face pic into escrow.

4) Once both person A and person B's face pics are both in escrow they both get mailed out to each other at the same time.

This creates a fair and equal system of getting to see each other, and also deals with fakes or timewasters who do not have face pics to share.

I think it's a good idea. I hope it resonates with you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it works then sounds good.

Personally I have public face pics...nothing to hide!

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By *et a roomCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Sounds good to us too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds good here too. Would be great if possible xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's a potential flaw, the 'escrow' person/system holds on to both photos and they don't get sent out.

Maybe just be more careful with whom you swap your photos perhaps?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's a potential flaw, the 'escrow' person/system holds on to both photos and they don't get sent out.

Maybe just be more careful with whom you swap your photos perhaps?

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

I put a fake face pic into escrow

....result

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I put a fake face pic into escrow

....result"

Another flaw pointed out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good idea OP, especially with local contacts. I would happily have my face pic on show if the site made everyone show their face pics

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Good idea OP, especially with local contacts. I would happily have my face pic on show if the site made everyone show their face pics"

Will never happen. Nobody 'has to show their face'

The day things like this happen, think we'll hang up the swinging knickers

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"There's a potential flaw, the 'escrow' person/system holds on to both photos and they don't get sent out.

Maybe just be more careful with whom you swap your photos perhaps?"

This flaw is easily overcome i.e. the escrow system works... holds on to both photos and does send them out

You're just describing a system which doesn't work and suggesting that's a flaw lol

As for being careful who you're swapping photos with... how do you know who you're swapping photos with if you haven't seen their face?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I put a fake face pic into escrow

....result"

People probably exchange fake face pics already. This system isn't meant to avoid that... it's just meant to take the power play out of swapping photos in a "you first" scenario, making sure that if they see your face you're gonna also see theirs. If theirs are fake that's another problem all together

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Good idea OP, especially with local contacts. I would happily have my face pic on show if the site made everyone show their face pics

Will never happen. Nobody 'has to show their face'

The day things like this happen, think we'll hang up the swinging knickers "

This system doesn't demand everyone has to show their faces. But what it does do is it means that if you want to see someone elses face you have to show yours at the same time

It equalises face pic trading and gets rid of some of the shenanigans pic collectors or others might wish to play.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

A potential implementation of this idea is this...

1) Set one of your private pics to be a face pic, just as you would set one to be your avatar.

2) Submit a request to see a users face pic in a similar way to sending a friends request.

3) Once the other user has designated themselves their own face pic, they can accept this request, like accepting a friends request, and at that point the system automatically mails out an automated message to each user with their respective face pics in.

The only policing Fab's admin would have to do is to verify that it is a face pic, and in the case of a photo verified member, that it is the same person. This would probably use up similar resources to current photo verification resources.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would like to suggest the creation of an escrow system for face pics.

My idea is this...

1) Person A suggests to person B that they should share face pics.

2) Person A then puts their face pic into escrow.

3) Person B cannot see this photo until they put their own face pic into escrow.

4) Once both person A and person B's face pics are both in escrow they both get mailed out to each other at the same time.

This creates a fair and equal system of getting to see each other, and also deals with fakes or timewasters who do not have face pics to share.

I think it's a good idea. I hope it resonates with you

Brilliant idea.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What???

If I'm chatting with someone I attach a few pics to see if there is mutual attraction. Very simple

If a profile asks for face pic on contact I respect that.

" Power play" over who shows face pics first.

Thought this was an adult site

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/08/14 08:28:42]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Phew, thought I was the only one who thinks this would be a pointless tool.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

to stop the fake face pics thoughts on this thread..use the photo verify pic..contains your username and face and is checked by site administrators?

dave

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I think there are generally two types of people on Fab... those who don't mind showing their face about the place... and those who wish to be more discreet and control who sees them.

Clearly several people who have replied to this thread see no use for this feature as they are comfortable showing their face to the world. With respect, this feature idea isn't really aimed at meeting their needs

The real question here is what impact will this idea make on either type of user. I would argue that it will not impact negatively upon the user who wants to band their picture about. They can still do so in their initial mail or on their profile and may never use this feature. However, this feature will make a big positive difference to people who want to be more discreet, helping them to know who's seen their face.

It is therefore a shame that people who would not be effected negatively by this idea are raising negative points about it when others might be significantly benefited from it

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By *trawberry-popWoman
over a year ago

South East Midlands NOT

I'm of the opinion that if you approached me you should show me your face first. Don't really see why it should be done 'equally'. If I contact someone else I always attach my face pics in my first message.

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

Not for me.

If someone approaches me and wants to meet, then I like to see their face pic first. If they don't appeal, or they are too local, I will say sorry and no, and not send mine.

Having had a worrying experience where someone messaged me to tell me where he had seen me, listed times and dates where I was with my son - I am very cautious about who sees face pics now.

If its a no thank you, why should they see my face pic?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think there are generally two types of people on Fab... those who don't mind showing their face about the place... and those who wish to be more discreet and control who sees them.

It is therefore a shame that people who would not be effected negatively by this idea are raising negative points about it when others might be significantly benefited from it

So I don't bandy my face pic around.... what's the third category?

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"to stop the fake face pics thoughts on this thread..use the photo verify pic..contains your username and face and is checked by site administrators?

dave

Photo veri pics don't have to be face pics.

Flaw.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not for me.

If someone approaches me and wants to meet, then I like to see their face pic first. If they don't appeal, or they are too local, I will say sorry and no, and not send mine.

Having had a worrying experience where someone messaged me to tell me where he had seen me, listed times and dates where I was with my son - I am very cautious about who sees face pics now.

If its a no thank you, why should they see my face pic?"

If I don't like them I don't send my pic in return.

However the theory seems ok. I wouldn't use it but it would work for some people.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If someone approaches me and wants to meet, then I like to see their face pic first. If they don't appeal, or they are too local, I will say sorry and no, and not send mine.

Having had a worrying experience where someone messaged me to tell me where he had seen me, listed times and dates where I was with my son - I am very cautious about who sees face pics now.

If its a no thank you, why should they see my face pic?"

I'm unsure as to whether this valid criticism kills my idea or not. I agree that the flaw in my idea is that potentially more people might see your face than if you hid behind a "you first" type of philosophy. This suggests that the "you first" philosophy might be the best way for a discreet couple. The trouble is that this approach breaks down if they want to try and arrange a meet with another "you first" couple.

I am suggesting that this would be something similar to a friends request. If you are sending a no thanks then all you would need to do is turn down the request and not swap face pics.

The only trouble with my idea compared to your approach is that you wouldn't be able to see their face before you turn them down. Is that important? Surely their body pics and their profile and their manner are likely to be good indicators as to whether you'd like to meet them or not? If these don't add up then simply turn their request down and perhaps ask them to send you their face pic first via a message. They can either agree to this or pass up on you. The only situation where this wouldn't work is if everything but their face looked and sounded nice... but then you got their face pic and either recognised them or found them deeply unattractive in some way you hadn't expected. In this instance they would've seen your face as well as theirs. I am unsure how frequently this would happen or whether it would be a good thing or a bad thing... so maybe I'm a bit more on the fence with this idea lol

Part of the reason for this idea is that I'm sick of being approached by people who insist on seeing our faces before they engage with us in any form... and yet don't show theirs. Very few people who have messaged us have sent out a face pic with their first mail. It would seem that the only way round this, for us, is to join them in becoming a "we won't talk to you until you show us your face pic" couple... which is just a bit crappy but gets round the whole tiresome thing of it always being us who have to show our faces first

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By *aveandkate35Couple
over a year ago

telford

Before you have this type of system I'd suggest a simpler system (that could be used to feed into this one in the future ) where, when you leave feedback, you can also verify genuine a pic too.

Obviously you'll need to be in friends list for friends only, but generally people who leave verifications are on there! Lol

You have the beauty then of seeing pics which have been "verified" by meets.

Ultimately this system could them be fed into the original suggestion so only a verified by meet photo could be escrow'd.

Just a thought.

Obviously some will like the idea some won't... No requirement to use it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Before you have this type of system I'd suggest a simpler system (that could be used to feed into this one in the future ) where, when you leave feedback, you can also verify genuine a pic too.

Obviously you'll need to be in friends list for friends only, but generally people who leave verifications are on there! Lol

You have the beauty then of seeing pics which have been "verified" by meets.

Ultimately this system could them be fed into the original suggestion so only a verified by meet photo could be escrow'd.

Just a thought.

Obviously some will like the idea some won't... No requirement to use it.

I like that idea

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Before you have this type of system I'd suggest a simpler system (that could be used to feed into this one in the future ) where, when you leave feedback, you can also verify genuine a pic too.

Obviously you'll need to be in friends list for friends only, but generally people who leave verifications are on there! Lol

You have the beauty then of seeing pics which have been "verified" by meets.

Ultimately this system could them be fed into the original suggestion so only a verified by meet photo could be escrow'd.

Just a thought.

Obviously some will like the idea some won't... No requirement to use it.

I really like this idea but I think unfortunately it is open to abuse. We already know that some people suddenly have several verifications miraculously appear within hours of joining the site, suggesting that they are setting up multiple accounts and verifying themselves. The beauty of the current photo verification process is that it can't be abused i.e. it's conducted by an impartial 3rd party... the Fab admin. If we allow users to verify other users photos we allow fakes more ways of fooling us into thinking they're real.

That would be my main concern

I think a better solution might be something I mentioned earlier... which was that admin themselves cross check pictures which we send to them with our photo verified picture and confirm that they depict the same person. We can then send out this 'Fab verified' face pic. I can imagine that this type of face pic would soon become a benefit to users, with non-verified pictures being less trustworthy.

One thing I feel this thread has proven is that there are some fruitful discussions that could be had about improving this aspect of how Fab deals with how users 'handshake' via pics. Thanks for all the ideas along the way

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Actually, upon consideration, don't the Fab admin already police uploading of photos, making sure they don't depict people other than yourself? Hmm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Blah blah blah discreet fakes yawn.......

If you're that worried about meeting someone you know or who knows you, then don't play in your home area. And if you're still worried then probably best to stop in general rather than try and find another way to exclude people. Because all that will happen is that people like OP will refuse to talk to someone who hasn't got an escrowed facepic. Just in case they're a fake.

And I don't recall hearing about anyone being blackmailed from here. So it's probably not as prevalent as you think.

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

I ve a third option

no one sends face pictures and we all go on blind dates wearing pink carnations and meet under the clock at the appointed hour,

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

"I ve a third option

no one sends face pictures and we all go on blind dates wearing pink carnations and meet under the clock at the appointed hour,

I don't like carnations... can we go for something else... I'm fond of gerberas tho? Would that do instead? lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't like flowers so can I have a condom foil sticking out from my pocket? I'm classy like that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow anyone would think there is no where outside the playground to meet.

Shame there are no socials, clubs or other events.

And imagine, chat rooms with live pics/ chams..

Someone should invest some effort there.

Oh well, maybe in the future these things will be used

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wow anyone would think there is no where outside the playground to meet.

Shame there are no socials, clubs or other events.

And imagine, chat rooms with live pics/ chams..

Someone should invest some effort there.

Oh well, maybe in the future these things will be used "

If only there was a website which had all those fantastic features

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have rarely had any issues with face picture sharing, if someone sends me a message without one, I ask for it, I don't send them one until I have seen them after all they messaged first. If they don't have one, I don't send them mine, if I message someone, I attach mine. On occasions when I say no thanks, I attach mine, fairs fair so I don't get why people show off about it nor moan about it. No face picture on profile, no chance of meeting

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By *oulou45Woman
over a year ago

Bucks

Would be a great idea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone wants to play power games over 'who goes first' with the face pic then to be honest I wouldn't want to meet as I can't be arsed with any kind of power games...that to me just does not equal fun with mature adults, but that's just me. If I make contact I send a pic, if someone is going to message me then refuse to send a pic then I'll continue to use the delete button..just sounds too much like hard work and I'm lazy!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never encounter this issue and seem to think it a solution to a problem that few people suffer from

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

People seem pretty split on this, with some going as far as sending us messages saying what a good idea it is. To be honest, we don't actually have a problem, ourselves. It's just that there was a thread going recently in which a fair amount of people remarked that they had sent face pics to people and got none in return. Being a technical/creative kind of guy, I thought the escrow idea would solve that problem so posted it here.

We haven't, ourselves, encountered this situation... but it does seem that every other person's profile we visit insists on either seeing our faces first or suggests they won't even reply to a single mail without us including a face pic in it. This just seems childish... but I guess it's each to their own and it seems to be fast becoming the norm in our neighborhood, like the obligatory Sydney University warning.

I just feel that face pics have become a tool for manipulation for quite a few people... when Fab's admin could get rid of that by transforming the exchange of them into an automated system.

But then, as people have already pointed out, such a system would probably result in more people seeing your face... and you seeing more of other people's faces... than the current approach. Whether this is a good thing or a bad thing I don't know

Being quite comfortable with my life choice I probably wouldn't have a problem with more of us seeing more of each other... but I think there'd be many others who would disagree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The system we use is simple if we message first we send face pics if they are attracted they send back, if we receive a message without face pics we first ask if they refuse we ignore, simple but it works

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

Similar system has worked for over 10 years for us also ...have never had to log into or sign up to any other site

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I just send my picture out.

If they reply with one that's great but 99% don't just say no thanks.

It's due to there intimidated by my rugged good looks.

I can't help being better looking than they are????? (Jokes)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The only problem with the send pics first approach is that you are feeding pic collectors.

Although it is sometimes possible to spot a fake by a crummy profile, we've found the best way to them out is by talking to them. People who can't be bothered to send more than one liners, or 'couples' who write crude one liners, are most likely fake.

By sending your face pic to a pic collector you are not necessarily feeding some fat bloke's wank collection. It may be that an unscrupulous dating site or sex site is harvesting your pics to set up fake profiles to lure people into thinking you fancy them but will only talk to them if they pay membership and join their site. Indeed some sites may freely advertise your name, face, and naked body to the world under the guise that you're looking for true love or looking to cheat or have a penchant for animal love

Therefore, although it sounds super chilled and easy going to be sending your face pic out with your first message, you could unknowingly be contributing to a fraud that not only lures innocents in thanks to your behavior but could also backfire severely.

Yet another reason why Fab may want to devise a system that helps keep it's members identities where they belong... on Fab

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

[Removed by poster at 30/08/14 11:07:50]

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By *ecretly seductiveWoman
over a year ago

Palookaville

I find that I don't really have a problem about face pics as I don't send one generally. ( esp not anywhere local) If I'm going to meet someone it will be after chatting for a while and then meet for coffee to see if we have that chemistry and want to take it any further. At best. . You do. . At worst. . You've had coffee with a like minded person. If someone isn't happy to do that they're probably not someone I would be that interested in.

Mrs S

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The only problem with the send pics first approach is that you are feeding pic collectors.

Yet another reason why Fab may want to devise a system that helps keep it's members identities where they belong... on Fab

If someone really wanted to do that, they could take my face pics off facebook and team them up with body pics from any old fat bird and create whatever profile they liked. My face pics are just that...my face. There is no naked boob in my face pics...that's how I protect myself by keeping recognisable shots ones that I wouldn't be embarrassed about being seen by my Mum!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If someone really wanted to do that, they could take my face pics off facebook and team them up with body pics from any old fat bird and create whatever profile they liked. My face pics are just that...my face. There is no naked boob in my face pics...that's how I protect myself by keeping recognisable shots ones that I wouldn't be embarrassed about being seen by my Mum!"

Yes you're quite right. Good advice is to try and create a gap between your face pics and your nudes. That way, if they do leak out, it isn't obvious that it genuinely is you in the nude shots.

However... how many people actually follow that advice... or feel it's worth following? Once again... are we not running the risk of saying "I'm alright jack" when in fact others are not alright.

Surely if admin created a system for the exchange of pics that made it difficult for pic collectors and fakes to abuse it... the knock on effect would be that there would be less pic collectors and fakes on Fab... a good thing wouldn't you say?

Other ideas, for example, would be Fab preventing you from sending any pictures with your first mail. This would surely mean more people would talk to each other, would it not? It would also mean that pic collectors would have to commit to an exchange of at least two messages before they got any results, something that might put 90% of them off.

I'm not suggesting fascistically that we impose all these rules... but I do think Fab's admin could have some creative discussions about the systems they currently have in place, what incentives they promote, and what might happen if you fine tuned them slightly to change those incentives. In general that's what marks the difference between a successful social networking site and an unsuccessful one. Of course... who am I to talk... Fab is obviously successful lol

But some seem concerned that it is slowly becoming the victim of it's own success and filling up with fakes. That's not necessarily my experience. But it is probably something Fab's admin should keep an eye on

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Other ideas, for example, would be Fab preventing you from sending any pictures with your first mail. This would surely mean more people would talk to each other, would it not?

I would find it a it patronising to be told I had to speak with someone for a while before I can do something.

Surely we are all adults who can decide what to do without the intervention of anyone.

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

"-)

I would have no interest in chatting to anyone when I hadnt seen a picture, so that system would mean wasting my time and the time of the person sending me the messages...

Alternatively, a couple of messages could be

'Hi how are you'

'Good thanks'

'Fancy meeting up some time?'

'Can I see a pic please?'

'Heres me'

'Not interested thanks' - How does that help things?

Im really not sure about some peoples obsession with pic collectors when, if people want to collect them, there are millions on the internet and several thousand public pics on this site alone.

I think its often just an easy excuse that people use when someone else isnt interested in them - they didnt reply/message me/want to meet/fancy me...therefore they must be fake or they just wanted to collect my pics...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I put my face pics on my profile but it keeps getting rejected... apparently it looks like shrek

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I would have no interest in chatting to anyone when I hadnt seen a picture, so that system would mean wasting my time and the time of the person sending me the messages.."

Just to clarify Jezebel. Are you saying you wouldn't chat to anyone without seeing a face pic? We wouldn't chat to anyone without seeing a pic... but we'd be quite happy to spark up a conversation without seeing a face pic.

I'm only talking about face pics here... and the growing trend of people who say on their profile that they will automatically delete your mail or won't talk to you if you don't send a face pic with your first message.

I think a lot of people don't get any joy on Fab because they're not given half a chance. Allowing them to convey something of their character before you write them off is surely a more enlightened way of establishing whether someone is sexy or not... don't you think?

Again... please don't misconstrue that this thread has anything to do with our experience... we haven't really encountered these issues... but you only have to look elsewhere on the forums to see some of what we've been discussing on this thread appears to be a common experience of others.

Oh and btw thx for popping in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I put my face pics on my profile but it keeps getting rejected... apparently it looks like shrek"

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By *he honey dipperMan
over a year ago

Anywhere but not there

Great idea

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By *ony13aceMan
over a year ago

glasgow

Great idea

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