FabSwingers.com forum: Cpls only Chat rooms

By *ilthsdc OP Couple
over a year ago

Derry

PLEASE GOD!

Our regional chatroom is nothing but dubiously validated single males making endless bad jokes about sex to each other. Many cpls we've met have said they wont go into the room because of these guys sitting there 24/7 with the same old tired routine..

please fabs - regional cpls only chat rooms for ACTUAL swingers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

not all single guys r the same an there a

block button an if u get a cpls chat that shuts

out single fems 2..no that im botherd

2 much bout that..dont think its right

but just my thoughts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

block the single fellas then u wont see their chat in the room and couples aint so bliddy innocent lolol

ha ha if they were they would be in front of tele drinking cocoa not on here lolol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with the OP couples only room please. Put a plant pot , kettle and a huge cupboard in there to house the intolerance and the chat rooms will be a nicer place.

I thankyou xx

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By *ilthsdc OP Couple
over a year ago

Derry

we have found that certain single males can happily sit in chat rooms 9-10 hours a day 'being everyones friend' and then when they don't like that you wont meet them they actively campaign against you.

We know there are decent single guys. We know there are decent single fems.

This is NOT a debate about that.

This is simply that a free site has attracted a certain 'dick in hand'single male element who sit in chat rooms all day and thats not really anything to do with swinging.

We have witnessed them try and 'control' rooms by pm'ing others about cpls and often there is an agenda based on them not having any success with meets. This problem is evident in the regional rooms in particular. Blocking is not an answer to this.

Most of the conversation is purile 'i'd give her one' chat between these males as well. The is a big difference between people who might swing flirting in chat and a room having masses of single males being crude and boorish.

The utility of chatrooms is thus greatly diminished for cpls.

Having a cpls only room would quickly solve that. After all regardless of 'good singles' we surely all agree that swinging is prima facie a COUPLES endeavour.

If you had a scotish cpls room, a welsh cpls room etc the site would be alot more cpl friendly and we know several cpls who would return to chat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 19/03/10 05:53:40]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds a fantastic idea! Of course the single men will never think of registering as a couple/single female for the sole purpose of annoying uppity couples who think swinging should be exclusively for them!

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

So what happens when it is only the male or female half of a couple that is actually chatting in the 'Couples Only Room'? Do they need to leave until both of them are there?

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By *ilandlarryCouple
over a year ago

more north lincs than mids!

how would it be enforced? should everyone go on cam so that it can be confirmed that it is, in fact, a couple on cam and not some single male or female wanting to see what happens?

Simple solution .... if you don't like what ppl are saying in the chatroom then block them. If they are being rude and disrespectful, report their profile and give admin as much information as possible including date, time and in what room.

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By *iceguydaveMan
over a year ago

Monmouth

I very rarely use the chat rooms so maybe shouldn't stick my oar in. But I will anyway, because I'm bored and I haven't yet had enough coffee to start work

I think the various objections raised already to this suggestion are all valid, and I don't think 'couples only' chatrooms is the right solution for the problem the OP is experiencing. There will still be people forming cliques and saying things other people may not like..

What it needs is more proactive moderation in the rooms, I suspect. If there was a mod in there seeing this sort of behaviour, then they could act on it where needed.

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By *ilandlarryCouple
over a year ago

more north lincs than mids!

"I very rarely use the chat rooms so maybe shouldn't stick my oar in. But I will anyway, because I'm bored and I haven't yet had enough coffee to start work

What it needs is more proactive moderation in the rooms, I suspect. If there was a mod in there seeing this sort of behaviour, then they could act on it where needed."

personally I don't think there are cliques in chatrooms. Naturally there are people who will chat to each other. The more you chat, and have social meets, the more you get to know each other. The more you get to know each other the more you chat.

I'm sorry if that comes across as cliquey but it's not ... it's friendship and familiarity. We were all newbies at one point and all had to make the effort to get to know people. It's not up to those in the room already to draw people into the conversations. You only get out of this site what you put in, and that includes in the chatroom.

I am a chatroom mod and I will never allow another member to bully/talk bad etc about another member, especially if they are not in the room. If you have a problem with someone then you need to block them, not cause bitchfests and name calling. We are all adults and should be able to understand that we are never going to get on with every single person we come across.

If, however, you are in chat and you feel a mod is not doing his/her "job" properly and allowing anything untoward to go on then you MUST use the report button and let admin know. If you don't tell them then they won't know.

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

"how would it be enforced? should everyone go on cam so that it can be confirmed that it is, in fact, a couple on cam and not some single male or female wanting to see what happens?"

Lil, I am guessing that mods like yourself would need to do a cam check to see that it is a couple in a couples only chat room, you might need to pop back to their cam every 5 minutes though because some of the more sneaky couples might just do the first cam check and then one or other of them could go off to do other stuff. Shocking, I know, but there is a life away from the chat rooms for some people!

Off to work just now, but if I had a partner, would she now be banned from using a couples only chat room during the time when I am at work?

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By *ilthsdc OP Couple
over a year ago

Derry

It's amazing how some people spring to ludicrous and spurious arguments to naysay constructive ideas.

1) blocking - ineffective in dealing with a surfeit of single males hogging the regional chatrooms all day long. Lets be frank - there are people online in chat 8-10 hours a day. Thats not healthy for them or for the chatroom's dynamic.

2) Needing both partners online at the same time. Quite a baffling suggestion - do you want us to type alternate letters as well? Provided a cpl is photo verified by fabs would be an ideal suggestion. We take it as red that most of the time when talking to a cpl we are talking to the male half. As an opposition to having a verified-only cpls chat room the 'will they both be online' argument makes no sense.

Single males - can you stop objecting to some cpls not wanting to have to deal with you? Funnily enough swinging is NOT all about you. You don't need to populate every thread with the old tired arguments about single males. Move on.

Fabs is a great site but a great many of the cpls we encounter say they stay out of the chat rooms because of the atmosphere they encounter. We are just floating a suggestion that might enhance fabs for a significant proportion of the cpls.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"we have found that certain single males can happily sit in chat rooms 9-10 hours a day 'being everyones friend' and then when they don't like that you wont meet them they actively campaign against you.

We know there are decent single guys. We know there are decent single fems.

This is NOT a debate about that.

This is simply that a free site has attracted a certain 'dick in hand'single male element who sit in chat rooms all day and thats not really anything to do with swinging.

The utility of chatrooms is thus greatly diminished for cpls.

Having a cpls only room would quickly solve that. After all regardless of 'good singles' we surely all agree that swinging is prima facie a COUPLES endeavour.

If you had a scotish cpls room, a welsh cpls room etc the site would be alot more cpl friendly and we know several cpls who would return to chat."

Blocking isn't ineffective, it will block anyone who's chat you don't want to see. If you blocked every single male you can be left with just couples or females if that is what you wish.

What you might think is purile chat is fun for another person.

I am not sure how or why you think single men control rooms by PM each other, but it seems very far fetched to me.

As this thread has proved, single men seem way down on the list of lots of peoples pecking orders.

Us, we like single men as they are our source of fun and as they get penalised enough by these type of sites by people who think they are superior to them, and the sex industry itself, then I think segregation this way isn't a good idea.

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By *ilthsdc OP Couple
over a year ago

Derry

Blocking is totally ineffective - we've seen and been subject to pm's from single males saying 'do you agree with that X says... speak up' etc. Manytimes inproperly formed whispers land in the general chatroom because they have forgotten the final '' and the content of those private messages are astounding. Real playground bullying stuff.

Nothing in our suggestion stops cpls who want to talk / meet single males - we're not suggesting stopping the other chatrooms. Again asking for something FOR cpls who want to meet cpls has been hijacked by the 'single male' brigade and turned into one of their crusades. Hilarious.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"Blocking is totally ineffective - we've seen and been subject to pm's from single males saying 'do you agree with that X says... speak up' etc. Manytimes inproperly formed whispers land in the general chatroom because they have forgotten the final '' and the content of those private messages are astounding. Real playground bullying stuff.

I am not sure what you expected to be honest. Single men and women are members here also and probably don't like the suggestion that they are what you say they are.

I am still not sure why you think blocking is not effective. If you have them blocked, they can't mail you to ask you anything and you can't see any of their chat, including failed whispers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Will both have to be there to chat or just one of them?

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By *ilthsdc OP Couple
over a year ago

Derry

We've made clear why blocking an individual does nothing to address the issue of singles sitting in chat all day forming cliques and making the room 'theirs' and consequently unwelcoming to the majority of cpls who come in at night and don't 'play their game'. No point in repeating this ad infinitum.

We've also answered the 'would both need to be there' above. Again No point in repeating this ad infinitum.

Seems openly verified cpls can't make a suggestion about how to improve how the site caters for them without raising the backs of the singles. Strange. We'd have no objection to a singles only room or a 'cpls for singles' room.

Other sites have cpls only rooms so its not like we're suggesting Fabs reinvent the wheel.

(btw -if the last line tempts you to answer 'well why don't you go there' then resist the urge - that really isn't the point and your contribution would be tellingly pointless and offensive).

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"We've made clear why blocking an individual does nothing to address the issue of singles sitting in chat all day forming cliques and making the room 'theirs' and consequently unwelcoming to the majority of cpls who come in at night and don't 'play their game'. No point in repeating this ad infinitum.

We've also answered the 'would both need to be there' above. Again No point in repeating this ad infinitum.

Other sites have cpls only rooms so its not like we're suggesting Fabs reinvent the wheel.

(btw -if the last line tempts you to answer 'well why don't you go there' then resist the urge - that really isn't the point and your contribution would be tellingly pointless and offensive). "

Would I be so tempted? noooo

Still boils down to the same thing, any member verified or not can make a suggestion on the site, they are all valid and Admin look at every one.

the reason you are getting single men defend themselves is because of how you worded your suggestion.

I won't make the same suggestion again of if you block ALL the people you don't want to see in chat, it means you won't have to watch anything you think is unwelcoming.

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By *ilthsdc OP Couple
over a year ago

Derry

how on earth does 'block all' actually help make the chatroom a place that cpls would like to use to meet cpls?

You're wanting to reduce this to 'us vs single males' which is totally missing the point. Why you pesist in this is baffling. And your 'roll eyes' smiley was a purile and offensive gesture.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it would be good idea to use cams only in chat rooms like the directing and general so if a person comes into chat and don’t put their cams on they can be booted out! By the moderators This would cut out so many males pretending to be i.e. females or pretending to be a couple, plus it would be good to chat to couples or single female when they put cams on also I think putting single males in a room of there own and if any single females with to join them they can do so without a cam just a thought as some chat sites do this rule and it works for them, requards Louise!!

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"how on earth does 'block all' actually help make the chatroom a place that cpls would like to use to meet cpls?

You're wanting to reduce this to 'us vs single males' which is totally missing the point. Why you pesist in this is baffling. And your 'roll eyes' smiley was a purile and offensive gesture."

ok will leave you to it now, before I really do roll my eyes for real.

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By *ilthsdc OP Couple
over a year ago

Derry

again offensive. And a needy compulsion to have the last word. Well done in derailing this thread.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Would this be the wrong time to suggest blocking anyone you don't want to see in chat?....... effectivly turning it into a couples only chatroom until the site owner decide if your suggestion is viable.

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Thats good advice and like you say the only way to deal with the problem until admin either agree and work on the suggestion or not

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By *ilthsdc OP Couple
over a year ago

Derry

i dont know how many times we can repeat that blocking does nothing to address the issue.

We're talking about creating a positive environment for cpls to communicate with the prople they are trying to meet and blocking EVERY SINGLE SINGLE who might come into a room is laborious, impractical and still does nothing to rectify the issue and create an environment many cpls seek.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why should single guys be singled out and excluded just because they are not what you are looking for?

We meet mostly single guys as a lot of people so on here and we have used the chatooms to arrange a meet with a guy before now.

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

"i dont know how many times we can repeat that blocking does nothing to address the issue.

"creating apositive environment" ,ie only single males being a negative influence? ie only couples are positive influence? Maybe I'm reading that wrong.

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By *ilthsdc OP Couple
over a year ago

Derry

yes you are reading it wrong. Your reading it as a slight about you / single males.

As we have said we'd have no problem with fab having a room (or regional rooms) with 'cpls looking for singles'.

Genuine singles might even find it benefical to have cpls who are only looking for cpls not to be bothered by the many many singles who DO create a bad rep for the genuine singles.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Admin look at every thread in this section and take any suggestions on board.....if they decide a suggestion is viable they will no doubt start a thread to inform people.

You have been advised by five moderators on this thread as to what you can do in chat to maximise your enjoyment, at least until Admin decide if your suggestion is workable or not.

As this thread doesn't seem to be going anywhere it might be time to shut it.

Thread closed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No it isn't

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

Just back home for lunch so my non-existent partner's ban on using a 'couples only chat room' can be lifted for a half hour or so

Being serious for one minute - you started an open thread which allows anyone to comment on it, be they single or a couple so i wasn't trying to 'take over' your thread I was putting my point of view across!

I was also not 'objecting to some cpls not wanting to deal with you'

I was again putting my point of view across - just like you did when you opened up this thread!

Swinging is meant to be fun for everyone and I never suggested it was just for singles although I read with a wee snigger the comment you put i.e. 'swinging is prima facie a COUPLES endeavour'. It's not at first sight/appearance (prima facie - to save anyone else using google to find out what it meant) or even second or third sight exclusive to any one group!

I could go on like this all day and have my say in an open debate but it is pointless when you are so set in your ways and want a division where one isnt needed!

Again just my tuppence worth!

Gotta love that rolling eye smillie

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