FabSwingers.com forum: Swingers BBC Sounds

By *andg2206 OP Couple
7 days ago

poole

Pretty damning series on one womans experience of swinging. Much flack thrown at fabswingers too. Interesting views on admin which makes one winder the point of this section as little or nothing is ever done over feedback or ideas for improvement. Appears site is not actively managed. What are others thoughts. Please only comment if you have listened to the programme. Not interested in random opinions without context

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By *teelCityCoupleCouple
7 days ago

Sheffield

What's it called?

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By *onathan10Man
7 days ago

Hove

Have seen the full series.

The ex partner actions were shocking.

I did email the producers to offer my own experience (which is very different, overall a positive experience).

Jonathan

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By *xSirenaxxWoman
7 days ago

I've listened to the podcast and also listened to Gisèle Pelicot's audiobook. The parallels are uncomfortable.

The difference, of course, is that in the Pelicot case Gisèle repeatedly said no. In the podcast, the wife didn't say no. But that's exactly why discussions about coercive control are important. Consent is more than the absence of a "no" - it's about whether someone feels genuinely free to say no without pressure, manipulation or fear of disappointing a partner.

Fab and similar sites aren't responsible for the actions of individual users, but they are responsible for acting when their platforms are used to facilitate abuse, and for promoting the principles of fully informed, enthusiastic consent.

Personally, threads asking people to rate someone else's wife, questions about "how do I persuade my wife to swing?", and single profiles displaying sexual content involving other people make me uncomfortable. They can sometimes drift into treating women as something to be assessed, persuaded or displayed, rather than autonomous people whose own wishes and consent are what matter.

This isn't meant as a criticism of single men as a group. But everyone in the lifestyle should remember that consent can only be given by the person taking part. A husband or boyfriend can't consent on behalf of his wife or girlfriend, just as a wife or girlfriend can't consent on behalf of her partner.

What struck me about the Pelicot case is that it didn't begin with the horrific crimes that eventually came to light. It began with a husband treating his wife's boundaries as obstacles to overcome rather than limits to respect. That's why some of the themes in this podcast felt uncomfortably familiar.

Swinging isn't the problem. Swinging is meant to be built on informed, enthusiastic consent from everyone involved. Coercion, pressure, manipulation and non-consensual sharing of images are the exact opposite of what the lifestyle is supposed to be about.

Frankly, all of us need to think with our brains before our libidos. Consent isn't the absence of a "no" - it's the presence of a freely given and enthusiastic "yes".

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By *anmolMan
7 days ago

Liverpool

Well said!

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By *inkPomPomWoman
7 days ago

Isle of Man

all that needs to be said

Excellent comment

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By *andg2206 OP Couple
6 days ago

poole

Beautiful put and summarised. Given the average message we receive from single men. I would say the attitude of the abuser is not uncommon on here. These days we simply delete and block anyone who shows no respect is abusive or assuming we will think they are gods gift.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
3 days ago

O o O oo

I won't comment on the podcast as people then think it is Admins words but I will confirm that the site is actively managed and Admin work very hard to try and keep us all safe. All reports are reviewed and dealt with if verified.

If at any point the police are involved Admin work with them to help how they can.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
3 days ago

O o O oo

Here is an explanation from Admin from another thread on how they deal with reports.

******Just a quick note. If people report others and we can verify that they have broken site rules, we always take action (either a first and final warning, partially suspended account, fully suspended, mixture of the above).

Every single report sent via the REPORT link is reviewed. Clearly it's not in our interests to have people on here who are bad for the site. Equally we need to verify what has been reported and be fair to those who have been reported.

Admin

PS. we never provide feedback on what has happened. It's just not practical given that we get 100s of reports a day.

Here is what the page says after a report has been submitted:

Your feedback has been saved.

A website admin will shortly review your feedback and take the necessary action. After reviewing the evidence available to us, we may disable an account, remove a user, disable certain aspects of that user's account or issue a warning.

By leaving feedback you help improve the site for everyone who uses it. Thank you.******

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By *he naughty pairCouple
5 hours ago

Bicester

Having just finished the podcast I have mixed feelings about it.

I wasn't surprised about the coercion as I know this sort of thing happens, and it's not exclusive to fab or swinging in general. What that lady went through was plain wrong.

I'm sure I have been in situations where I know the lady isn't into it, this is both on the scene and in private life, if and when I sense it I will stop, if both don't enjoy it than I don't enjoy it.

On the flip side and nothing about the subject matter, more of a general annoyance, but yet again we have a programme that paints swingers as depraved people, it'd be nice to have one which shows swingers as normal people.

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By *evonFbsCouple
3 hours ago

East Devon

[Removed by poster at 21/07/26 15:22:19]

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By *ssexfun4twoCouple
1 hour ago

Chelmsford

[Removed by poster at 21/07/26 17:46:48]

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