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"Read and no reply means exactly that, no reply not interested how is that vague? If someone wants to reply they will" Actually you are wrong. I've had several come back to me a week later saying they were busy when reading the message and have only just had the chance to reply. Hence an auto reply clarifies things. It could also delete the message in their excessively overloaded inbox, but keeping things tidy as well as clear. | |||
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"Jack, you'll only drive yourself potty by just not accepting that if someone doesn't reply, they've no interest in engaging with you " I do accept it, but sometimes there is confusion. As already mentioned, I've had people come back to me a while later. | |||
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"If someone doesn't reply then accept they're not interested. If they eventually do reply further down the line - bonus! Even if the feature you suggested existed, people may still choose not to use it. " Of course, but the point is it would be as easy as pressing the delete button. | |||
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"What is wrong with being clear and resepctful? Why are so many happy to ignore and be ignored? " People are being clear and respectful by telling you that if someone doesn't reply, the likelihood ( bar the exceptions you've mentioned) is that they're just not interested | |||
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"If they dont reply surely thats your answer, I send messages or winks, if I dont get anything back I accept that and dont bother them again. Dont need anything telling me they are not interested, the no reply or deleted mesage tells me enough. " But how do you remember not to bother them again? That's one of my points. | |||
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"What is wrong with being clear and resepctful? Why are so many happy to ignore and be ignored? People are being clear and respectful by telling you that if someone doesn't reply, the likelihood ( bar the exceptions you've mentioned) is that they're just not interested " Yes, but then six months later you send another message (or is your memory good enough to remember those who you haven't had a reply from?), time wasted for both parties. | |||
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"If they dont reply surely thats your answer, I send messages or winks, if I dont get anything back I accept that and dont bother them again. Dont need anything telling me they are not interested, the no reply or deleted mesage tells me enough. But how do you remember not to bother them again? That's one of my points." You are a site supporter. On a profile there’s a drop down menu (top right corner) - make a private note that you’ve messaged on such and such a date and no reply. Then you’ll know for future reference. | |||
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"Read and no reply means exactly that, no reply not interested how is that vague? If someone wants to reply they will Actually you are wrong. I've had several come back to me a week later saying they were busy when reading the message and have only just had the chance to reply. Hence an auto reply clarifies things. It could also delete the message in their excessively overloaded inbox, but keeping things tidy as well as clear. " Yeah so they replied if they clicked an autoreply no thanks and it deletes the message from their inbox then they wont be able to reply when they have the time Why not just delete ur sent messages that way you dont need to keep checking and if you get a reply then its a bonus | |||
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"If they dont reply surely thats your answer, I send messages or winks, if I dont get anything back I accept that and dont bother them again. Dont need anything telling me they are not interested, the no reply or deleted mesage tells me enough. But how do you remember not to bother them again? That's one of my points." If you try to message someone who hasn't replied, you get a big warning in all caps. It doesn't stop you from messaging again, but if you're going to ignore STOP THINK, then you're beyond automatic supports. | |||
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"Ultimately, as a message recipient, you can't win. If you reply to be polite you're leading them on or wasting time. If they can't twist your arm you're a bitch. If you reply then block that's unnecessarily abrupt If form response no existed people would complain that rejections weren't hand crafted If you god forbid have a life to live or a brain fart and don't message back in time, you get abused for that too. These things apply whether the starting message is polite, personalised, and personable, or unhinged, impolite, and illegal. And people wonder why the demographics are so incredibly skewed... " Good points and very true I'm sure. So if there was a button and as "no means no" then it becomes the norm. and people accept it without wasting time, wondering or causing problems. | |||
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"What is wrong with being clear and resepctful? Why are so many happy to ignore and be ignored? " Because as it's been pointed out .. people give you their reason a d then you and most males on here ignore it with but but but. People have profiles most on here don't read.. People have preferences most on here don't care.. There's already answers and remedies of what you're asking and yet still it won't satisfy those that don't comprehend | |||
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"Ultimately, as a message recipient, you can't win. If you reply to be polite you're leading them on or wasting time. If they can't twist your arm you're a bitch. If you reply then block that's unnecessarily abrupt If form response no existed people would complain that rejections weren't hand crafted If you god forbid have a life to live or a brain fart and don't message back in time, you get abused for that too. These things apply whether the starting message is polite, personalised, and personable, or unhinged, impolite, and illegal. And people wonder why the demographics are so incredibly skewed... Good points and very true I'm sure. So if there was a button and as "no means no" then it becomes the norm. and people accept it without wasting time, wondering or causing problems. " I did say "If form response no existed people would complain that rejections weren't hand crafted", but as it didn't suit your agenda to recognise that I explicitly disagreed with you, you seem not to have read it. | |||
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"...how about next to each message a "No thanks and block" button? It saves wasted time and quickly avoids confusion and stalking. " • Things are already difficult enough for women. Why on earth make things easier for them, OP. 😉 | |||
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"Ultimately, as a message recipient, you can't win. If you reply to be polite you're leading them on or wasting time. If they can't twist your arm you're a bitch. If you reply then block that's unnecessarily abrupt If form response no existed people would complain that rejections weren't hand crafted If you god forbid have a life to live or a brain fart and don't message back in time, you get abused for that too. These things apply whether the starting message is polite, personalised, and personable, or unhinged, impolite, and illegal. And people wonder why the demographics are so incredibly skewed... Good points and very true I'm sure. So if there was a button and as "no means no" then it becomes the norm. and people accept it without wasting time, wondering or causing problems. I did say "If form response no existed people would complain that rejections weren't hand crafted", but as it didn't suit your agenda to recognise that I explicitly disagreed with you, you seem not to have read it. " To be honest, I'm not sure what you are trying to say in that sentence. | |||
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"...how about next to each message a "No thanks and block" button? It saves wasted time and quickly avoids confusion and stalking. • Things are already difficult enough for women. Why on earth make things easier for them, OP. 😉 " Haha | |||
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"What is wrong with being clear and resepctful? Why are so many happy to ignore and be ignored? Because as it's been pointed out .. people give you their reason a d then you and most males on here ignore it with but but but. People have profiles most on here don't read.. People have preferences most on here don't care.. There's already answers and remedies of what you're asking and yet still it won't satisfy those that don't comprehend " Hence the "no thanks" message and the account blocked, that's the end of it. | |||
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"Ultimately, as a message recipient, you can't win. If you reply to be polite you're leading them on or wasting time. If they can't twist your arm you're a bitch. If you reply then block that's unnecessarily abrupt If form response no existed people would complain that rejections weren't hand crafted If you god forbid have a life to live or a brain fart and don't message back in time, you get abused for that too. These things apply whether the starting message is polite, personalised, and personable, or unhinged, impolite, and illegal. And people wonder why the demographics are so incredibly skewed... Good points and very true I'm sure. So if there was a button and as "no means no" then it becomes the norm. and people accept it without wasting time, wondering or causing problems. I did say "If form response no existed people would complain that rejections weren't hand crafted", but as it didn't suit your agenda to recognise that I explicitly disagreed with you, you seem not to have read it. To be honest, I'm not sure what you are trying to say in that sentence. " You're looking for a form response. A form response of no. If that existed, people would bitch to the moon and back that they didn't receive a hand crafted rejection. I know you think that you've come up with a perfect solution. There isn't one. People feel entitled to more time and attention than other people are willing or able to give. The system that exists is wildly imperfect, but no other system would be any better, or result in fewer complaints. | |||
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"Ultimately, as a message recipient, you can't win. If you reply to be polite you're leading them on or wasting time. If they can't twist your arm you're a bitch. If you reply then block that's unnecessarily abrupt If form response no existed people would complain that rejections weren't hand crafted If you god forbid have a life to live or a brain fart and don't message back in time, you get abused for that too. These things apply whether the starting message is polite, personalised, and personable, or unhinged, impolite, and illegal. And people wonder why the demographics are so incredibly skewed... Good points and very true I'm sure. So if there was a button and as "no means no" then it becomes the norm. and people accept it without wasting time, wondering or causing problems. I did say "If form response no existed people would complain that rejections weren't hand crafted", but as it didn't suit your agenda to recognise that I explicitly disagreed with you, you seem not to have read it. To be honest, I'm not sure what you are trying to say in that sentence. You're looking for a form response. A form response of no. If that existed, people would bitch to the moon and back that they didn't receive a hand crafted rejection. I know you think that you've come up with a perfect solution. There isn't one. People feel entitled to more time and attention than other people are willing or able to give. The system that exists is wildly imperfect, but no other system would be any better, or result in fewer complaints." Maybe for, but I'm sure 99% of messages you send are tesd. For men it's a different sutuation. Do you delete messages from men you aren't interested in? | |||
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"If they dont reply surely thats your answer, I send messages or winks, if I dont get anything back I accept that and dont bother them again. Dont need anything telling me they are not interested, the no reply or deleted mesage tells me enough. But how do you remember not to bother them again? That's one of my points." Look at the profile. It will tell you if you’ve messaged them. If you haven’t had a reply/can’t remember, don’t message again. There is a massive warning that also comes up when you go to send a second message and the person hasn’t responded to the first. The reason many don’t message back is: A) they weren’t looking to be or asked for a message. So, no need to respond. B) they’re not interested C) they don’t want to open /engage in conversation as a no thanks is often followed by why not, and then it goes on and on. Like the rules state, no reply is a reply and many don’t need/want junk mail. | |||
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"Ultimately, as a message recipient, you can't win. If you reply to be polite you're leading them on or wasting time. If they can't twist your arm you're a bitch. If you reply then block that's unnecessarily abrupt If form response no existed people would complain that rejections weren't hand crafted If you god forbid have a life to live or a brain fart and don't message back in time, you get abused for that too. These things apply whether the starting message is polite, personalised, and personable, or unhinged, impolite, and illegal. And people wonder why the demographics are so incredibly skewed... Good points and very true I'm sure. So if there was a button and as "no means no" then it becomes the norm. and people accept it without wasting time, wondering or causing problems. I did say "If form response no existed people would complain that rejections weren't hand crafted", but as it didn't suit your agenda to recognise that I explicitly disagreed with you, you seem not to have read it. To be honest, I'm not sure what you are trying to say in that sentence. You're looking for a form response. A form response of no. If that existed, people would bitch to the moon and back that they didn't receive a hand crafted rejection. I know you think that you've come up with a perfect solution. There isn't one. People feel entitled to more time and attention than other people are willing or able to give. The system that exists is wildly imperfect, but no other system would be any better, or result in fewer complaints. Maybe for, but I'm sure 99% of messages you send are tesd. For men it's a different sutuation. Do you delete messages from men you aren't interested in? " I'm aware of the situation for men. My point, based as it is on *the reactions of men*, stands. If men were less scattergun in their approach and hovered less over their sent box, this problem would be solved. I don't know why you, and others, insist on having your hand held. | |||
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"I do wonder why, instead of all the convoluted solutions men come up with in order for women to deal with their inboxes, they just can't accept that no reply is a reply. It's the simplest solution of all, and would leave the message sender in no doubt if they weren't hell bent on second guessing it. " Quite. There have been so many suggestions over the years, none of which involve men adjusting their expectations or behaviour. Which would solve 99% of the problems, and yet. | |||
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"I do wonder why, instead of all the convoluted solutions men come up with in order for women to deal with their inboxes, they just can't accept that no reply is a reply. It's the simplest solution of all, and would leave the message sender in no doubt if they weren't hell bent on second guessing it. · Quite. There have been so many suggestions over the years, none of which involve men adjusting their expectations or behaviour. Which would solve 99% of the problems, and yet." • Agreed. | |||
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"Should be a "fuck off" button then no one can say they dont understand the reply! "Yeah, they wouldn't understand. Or they'd try to argue. Or put us on blast for hurting their feelings | |||
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"Should be a "fuck off" button then no one can say they dont understand the reply! "Why be so aggressive? | |||
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"Should be a "fuck off" button then no one can say they dont understand the reply!
Why be so aggressive? "Not aggressive at all. If people cant take a no answer as a not interested maybe a definite answer is more appropriate, when you sign up it says in the rules that a no reply is a not interested. If people cant take a no reply as simply that then its on them not the person who doesn't reply | |||
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"Should be a "fuck off" button then no one can say they dont understand the reply!
Why be so aggressive?
Not aggressive at all. If people cant take a no answer as a not interested maybe a definite answer is more appropriate, when you sign up it says in the rules that a no reply is a not interested. If people cant take a no reply as simply that then its on them not the person who doesn't reply "Yeah at some point, if no way of saying no is acceptable, if people think they're above the stated rules on the site... It's a bit bloody frustrating. | |||
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"Should be a "fuck off" button then no one can say they dont understand the reply!
Why be so aggressive?
Not aggressive at all. If people cant take a no answer as a not interested maybe a definite answer is more appropriate, when you sign up it says in the rules that a no reply is a not interested. If people cant take a no reply as simply that then its on them not the person who doesn't reply "It's quite clearly aggressive. Regarding your point of people not taking no, that's exactly what my suggestion will resolve. An automated respectful "no thanks" then blocking them stops any further messages. | |||
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"Should be a "fuck off" button then no one can say they dont understand the reply!
Why be so aggressive?
Not aggressive at all. If people cant take a no answer as a not interested maybe a definite answer is more appropriate, when you sign up it says in the rules that a no reply is a not interested. If people cant take a no reply as simply that then its on them not the person who doesn't reply
Yeah at some point, if no way of saying no is acceptable, if people think they're above the stated rules on the site... It's a bit bloody frustrating."That's exactly what my suggestion will resolve. An automated respectful "no thanks" then blocking them stops any further messages. | |||
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"Should be a "fuck off" button then no one can say they dont understand the reply!
Why be so aggressive?
Not aggressive at all. If people cant take a no answer as a not interested maybe a definite answer is more appropriate, when you sign up it says in the rules that a no reply is a not interested. If people cant take a no reply as simply that then its on them not the person who doesn't reply
Yeah at some point, if no way of saying no is acceptable, if people think they're above the stated rules on the site... It's a bit bloody frustrating.
That's exactly what my suggestion will resolve. An automated respectful "no thanks" then blocking them stops any further messages."As I've said, people would just come here and complain about how rude people are to not hand craft a rejection and how mean an automated block is. Or they'll talk about how much the automated system sucks and how their system would be better. This thread is just part of that cycle | |||
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"Tbh from what the original OP said, he ain't that wrong is he. Everyone here has a right to choose who they want to message and who they want filtered out. You can be as polite as you want to be and still they have a choice to message back. You simply take it as a no and move on. But come on really the guy literally sent a compliment, nothing vulgar. Nothing out of disrespect, a simple compliment, and still they chose to write "knob". So yeah I can understand the frustration behind that. Because why say it?" People replying with insults is a different issue. No I'm not saying that's acceptable either | |||
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"Should be a "fuck off" button then no one can say they dont understand the reply!
Why be so aggressive?
Not aggressive at all. If people cant take a no answer as a not interested maybe a definite answer is more appropriate, when you sign up it says in the rules that a no reply is a not interested. If people cant take a no reply as simply that then its on them not the person who doesn't reply
Yeah at some point, if no way of saying no is acceptable, if people think they're above the stated rules on the site... It's a bit bloody frustrating.
That's exactly what my suggestion will resolve. An automated respectful "no thanks" then blocking them stops any further messages."But there already IS a way. No reply? No thanks. It's right there in the site FAQs. Exactly why is that such an issue? Why can't some people accept that? | |||
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"Tbh from what the original OP said, he ain't that wrong is he. Everyone here has a right to choose who they want to message and who they want filtered out. You can be as polite as you want to be and still they have a choice to message back. You simply take it as a no and move on. But come on really the guy literally sent a compliment, nothing vulgar. Nothing out of disrespect, a simple compliment, and still they chose to write "knob". So yeah I can understand the frustration behind that. Because why say it?" Indeed, why be so like that? What do people get out of that sort of attitude? | |||
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"Should be a "fuck off" button then no one can say they dont understand the reply!
Why be so aggressive?
Not aggressive at all. If people cant take a no answer as a not interested maybe a definite answer is more appropriate, when you sign up it says in the rules that a no reply is a not interested. If people cant take a no reply as simply that then its on them not the person who doesn't reply
Yeah at some point, if no way of saying no is acceptable, if people think they're above the stated rules on the site... It's a bit bloody frustrating.
That's exactly what my suggestion will resolve. An automated respectful "no thanks" then blocking them stops any further messages.
But there already IS a way. No reply? No thanks. It's right there in the site FAQs. Exactly why is that such an issue? Why can't some people accept that? "As already said a couple of times, that is NOT true. No reply can mean "I'll come back to this later" or "maybe, not sure yet". | |||
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"One swallow does not a summer make " No idea what you are trying to say. | |||
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"Made the error of reading this thread and now my head just exploded … Xmas eve as well, will i recover in time, no idea" No idea what you are trying to say. | |||
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"One swallow does not a summer make No idea what you are trying to say. " It means a single positive sign doesn't guarantee a lasting good outcome | |||
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"For me, the people who are sending you those replies probably wouldn't use a no thanks and block button as they obviously reply anyway. As others have said, report the abusive people as it isn't allowed. I also accept accept that some people may reply, some don't, some reply when they have time. If people wanted to block someone they would now anyway." But surely a single button to carry out several tasks is quicker, easier, more likely to be used and removes any doubt/confusion? One button to send a polite reply, block further conversation attempts and delete the message seems to be beneficial to those who want to use it (yes, I know not everyone wants it, but not everyone wants a forum or club ratings). Just because you don't want it or don't like the idea it doesn't mean others won't find it beneficial. From a server admin point of view this would also reduce bandwidth. | |||
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"If I'm honest OP, I find Fåb works perfectly as it is. There are sufficient tools and methods at everyone's disposal on here that serve their purpose." For you maybe, but not for everyone. Why be against something that would speed up and simplify things for others? | |||
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"If I'm honest OP, I find Fåb works perfectly as it is. There are sufficient tools and methods at everyone's disposal on here that serve their purpose. For you maybe, but not for everyone. Why be against something that would speed up and simplify things for others? " For all the reasons you're ignoring above, because you're fixated on your own idea. | |||
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"For me, the people who are sending you those replies probably wouldn't use a no thanks and block button as they obviously reply anyway. As others have said, report the abusive people as it isn't allowed. I also accept accept that some people may reply, some don't, some reply when they have time. If people wanted to block someone they would now anyway. But surely a single button to carry out several tasks is quicker, easier, more likely to be used and removes any doubt/confusion? One button to send a polite reply, block further conversation attempts and delete the message seems to be beneficial to those who want to use it (yes, I know not everyone wants it, but not everyone wants a forum or club ratings). Just because you don't want it or don't like the idea it doesn't mean others won't find it beneficial. From a server admin point of view this would also reduce bandwidth. " I'm all for simplicity and having something that's optional, giving more choice and possibly making using the site simpler, I think it's a good thing | |||
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"If I'm honest OP, I find Fåb works perfectly as it is. There are sufficient tools and methods at everyone's disposal on here that serve their purpose. · For you maybe, but not for everyone. Why be against something that would speed up and simplify things for others?" • Changing the current system will only satisfy a few and leave others wanting further improvements ad nauseum. If the current features and tools aren't working "for others" then I question their approach and methods on here. | |||
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"If I'm honest OP, I find Fåb works perfectly as it is. There are sufficient tools and methods at everyone's disposal on here that serve their purpose. For you maybe, but not for everyone. Why be against something that would speed up and simplify things for others? For all the reasons you're ignoring above, because you're fixated on your own idea." You are against something just because it's not useful to you. As already mentioned, it may be useful to others. | |||
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"If I'm honest OP, I find Fåb works perfectly as it is. There are sufficient tools and methods at everyone's disposal on here that serve their purpose. · For you maybe, but not for everyone. Why be against something that would speed up and simplify things for others? • Changing the current system will only satisfy a few and leave others wanting further improvements ad nauseum. If the current features and tools aren't working "for others" then I question their approach and methods on here. " Again, just because it's not useful to you it doesn't mean it's not useful to others. | |||
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"For me, the people who are sending you those replies probably wouldn't use a no thanks and block button as they obviously reply anyway. As others have said, report the abusive people as it isn't allowed. I also accept accept that some people may reply, some don't, some reply when they have time. If people wanted to block someone they would now anyway. But surely a single button to carry out several tasks is quicker, easier, more likely to be used and removes any doubt/confusion? One button to send a polite reply, block further conversation attempts and delete the message seems to be beneficial to those who want to use it (yes, I know not everyone wants it, but not everyone wants a forum or club ratings). Just because you don't want it or don't like the idea it doesn't mean others won't find it beneficial. " You have mistaken my post as saying that I don't want it or didn't like the idea. I gave my own view on your post, I didn't say one way or another whether I thought the idea was a good one or not. | |||
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"If I'm honest OP, I find Fåb works perfectly as it is. There are sufficient tools and methods at everyone's disposal on here that serve their purpose. · For you maybe, but not for everyone. Why be against something that would speed up and simplify things for others? • Changing the current system will only satisfy a few and leave others wanting further improvements ad nauseum. If the current features and tools aren't working "for others" then I question their approach and methods on here. · Again, just because it's not useful to you it doesn't mean it's not useful to others. " • I think you've misunderstood: it's indeed useful to me. | |||
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" I think you've misunderstood: it's indeed useful to me." Sorry, you seemed against the idea. | |||
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"Jack, you'll only drive yourself potty by just not accepting that if someone doesn't reply, they've no interest in engaging with you I do accept it, but sometimes there is confusion. As already mentioned, I've had people come back to me a while later." I agree - it is confusing (and without being rude, easy for women to be dismissive about as they have differentissues to men on Fab). I used to get round it by immediately deleting messages I'd sent so that I forgot about them. That being said I stopped sending messages at a several years ago as it was an utterly pointless exercise. Five or six years ago Fab was a different place and responses were common. Not any more. That being so I've found the world to be a far more lovely place by not bothering. High value men will always do well by being seen in person at socials and quality clubs and will be judged on merit instead of a swamp infested by the kind of guy women rightly complain about all the time. Bottom line is it's very hard to win here, with the best, most positive will in the world. There's an expectation of single guys jumping through every hoop and 'making an effort', but it's still perfectly acceptable to be ignored. (Odd dynamic, but again perfectly understandable). If we turn it on its head all that leaves the women are the guys who are hugely successful via Fab and the dregs who behave badly. Not ideal. | |||
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"If they dont reply surely thats your answer, I send messages or winks, if I dont get anything back I accept that and dont bother them again. Dont need anything telling me they are not interested, the no reply or deleted mesage tells me enough. But how do you remember not to bother them again? That's one of my points." You don’t. They’ll probably just ignore you again. Blocking simple from either side, doesn’t need to just be those receiving messages. Equally, people don’t need to justify why they aren’t interested. Not everyone has time to sit and reply to every message. Unwritten fab rule, no reply = not interested and move on. If someone wants to reply they will either at the time or later on when more convenient | |||
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"The only response that's ambiguous is when they don't read your message. Is it lost in their inbox or have they actually ignored it. Best thing to do after sending a message is just completely ignore them if you receive no response in a couple days just block them" | |||
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" Unwritten fab rule, no reply = not interested and move on. If someone wants to reply they will either at the time or later on when more convenient " As already stated, I've had two dates with women who didn't reply the first time so your "unwritten rule" isn't very valid. | |||
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"The only response that's ambiguous is when they don't read your message. Is it lost in their inbox or have they actually ignored it. Best thing to do after sending a message is just completely ignore them if you receive no response in a couple days just block them" That's what I do, normally. | |||
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"Jack, you'll only drive yourself potty by just not accepting that if someone doesn't reply, they've no interest in engaging with you I do accept it, but sometimes there is confusion. As already mentioned, I've had people come back to me a while later. I agree - it is confusing (and without being rude, easy for women to be dismissive about as they have differentissues to men on Fab). I used to get round it by immediately deleting messages I'd sent so that I forgot about them. That being said I stopped sending messages at a several years ago as it was an utterly pointless exercise. Five or six years ago Fab was a different place and responses were common. Not any more. That being so I've found the world to be a far more lovely place by not bothering. High value men will always do well by being seen in person at socials and quality clubs and will be judged on merit instead of a swamp infested by the kind of guy women rightly complain about all the time. Bottom line is it's very hard to win here, with the best, most positive will in the world. There's an expectation of single guys jumping through every hoop and 'making an effort', but it's still perfectly acceptable to be ignored. (Odd dynamic, but again perfectly understandable). If we turn it on its head all that leaves the women are the guys who are hugely successful via Fab and the dregs who behave badly. Not ideal. " I agree. | |||
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"Jack, you'll only drive yourself potty by just not accepting that if someone doesn't reply, they've no interest in engaging with you I do accept it, but sometimes there is confusion. As already mentioned, I've had people come back to me a while later. I agree - it is confusing (and without being rude, easy for women to be dismissive about as they have differentissues to men on Fab). I used to get round it by immediately deleting messages I'd sent so that I forgot about them. That being said I stopped sending messages at a several years ago as it was an utterly pointless exercise. Five or six years ago Fab was a different place and responses were common. Not any more. That being so I've found the world to be a far more lovely place by not bothering. High value men will always do well by being seen in person at socials and quality clubs and will be judged on merit instead of a swamp infested by the kind of guy women rightly complain about all the time. Bottom line is it's very hard to win here, with the best, most positive will in the world. There's an expectation of single guys jumping through every hoop and 'making an effort', but it's still perfectly acceptable to be ignored. (Odd dynamic, but again perfectly understandable). If we turn it on its head all that leaves the women are the guys who are hugely successful via Fab and the dregs who behave badly. Not ideal. " I've never jumped through a hoop for anyone on fab and anyone expecting me to wouldn't be compatible anyway so I would have to question the thought process of any man considering jumping through hoops in the hope of meeting someone here. When I signed up here almost 10 years ago I had zero experience of anything like this, virtually no sexual history to back me up and I was also 51 heading for 52 which according to some on here should also have been a huge barrier. I've never been to a club and have never networked through socials. I'm not top tier or in the 5% that people speak of. I'm not even close in fact. The biggest issues I've seen that prevent men from meeting others here are firstly that they think it's a competition and secondly that they put so much effort into complaining about other people's preferences rather than focusing on their own. As soon as you start seeing this site as a competition it's time to give up. Any success I've had on fab has been down to me and what I want and not being afraid to say no to what I don't want. Having the self respect to not accept any offer that comes along just because and being myself rather than trying to tick boxes and be what I think others want me to be. The fact that you are describing men on fab as either hugely successful or the dregs of society says much more about your success or lack of than anything else. I don't message women on here and haven't done since the beginning of 2020 but that has never stopped women getting in touch with me simply beggar they feel safe doing so and can tell from my forum contributions that they might actually have a decent conversation. That's where all of my fab success has come from. Too many men are lacking in patience and don't understand the principle of consistency. Be yourself, not just for a day or a month but in everything you do on fab whether that's your pics, bio, forum comments and messages and be patient. | |||
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"Jack, you'll only drive yourself potty by just not accepting that if someone doesn't reply, they've no interest in engaging with you I do accept it, but sometimes there is confusion. As already mentioned, I've had people come back to me a while later. I agree - it is confusing (and without being rude, easy for women to be dismissive about as they have differentissues to men on Fab). I used to get round it by immediately deleting messages I'd sent so that I forgot about them. That being said I stopped sending messages at a several years ago as it was an utterly pointless exercise. Five or six years ago Fab was a different place and responses were common. Not any more. That being so I've found the world to be a far more lovely place by not bothering. High value men will always do well by being seen in person at socials and quality clubs and will be judged on merit instead of a swamp infested by the kind of guy women rightly complain about all the time. Bottom line is it's very hard to win here, with the best, most positive will in the world. There's an expectation of single guys jumping through every hoop and 'making an effort', but it's still perfectly acceptable to be ignored. (Odd dynamic, but again perfectly understandable). If we turn it on its head all that leaves the women are the guys who are hugely successful via Fab and the dregs who behave badly. Not ideal. I've never jumped through a hoop for anyone on fab and anyone expecting me to wouldn't be compatible anyway so I would have to question the thought process of any man considering jumping through hoops in the hope of meeting someone here. When I signed up here almost 10 years ago I had zero experience of anything like this, virtually no sexual history to back me up and I was also 51 heading for 52 which according to some on here should also have been a huge barrier. I've never been to a club and have never networked through socials. I'm not top tier or in the 5% that people speak of. I'm not even close in fact. The biggest issues I've seen that prevent men from meeting others here are firstly that they think it's a competition and secondly that they put so much effort into complaining about other people's preferences rather than focusing on their own. As soon as you start seeing this site as a competition it's time to give up. Any success I've had on fab has been down to me and what I want and not being afraid to say no to what I don't want. Having the self respect to not accept any offer that comes along just because and being myself rather than trying to tick boxes and be what I think others want me to be. The fact that you are describing men on fab as either hugely successful or the dregs of society says much more about your success or lack of than anything else. I don't message women on here and haven't done since the beginning of 2020 but that has never stopped women getting in touch with me simply beggar they feel safe doing so and can tell from my forum contributions that they might actually have a decent conversation. That's where all of my fab success has come from. Too many men are lacking in patience and don't understand the principle of consistency. Be yourself, not just for a day or a month but in everything you do on fab whether that's your pics, bio, forum comments and messages and be patient." The majority of people that I've met up with has been through the forum. While people don't always show true reflections of themselves in here. I find observing their posts and reactions to things gives me a better view of their personality. | |||
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"Read and no reply means exactly that, no reply not interested how is that vague? If someone wants to reply they will" I totally agree with you. No reply means not interested in my opinion | |||
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"Jack, you'll only drive yourself potty by just not accepting that if someone doesn't reply, they've no interest in engaging with you I do accept it, but sometimes there is confusion. As already mentioned, I've had people come back to me a while later. I agree - it is confusing (and without being rude, easy for women to be dismissive about as they have differentissues to men on Fab). I used to get round it by immediately deleting messages I'd sent so that I forgot about them. That being said I stopped sending messages at a several years ago as it was an utterly pointless exercise. Five or six years ago Fab was a different place and responses were common. Not any more. That being so I've found the world to be a far more lovely place by not bothering. High value men will always do well by being seen in person at socials and quality clubs and will be judged on merit instead of a swamp infested by the kind of guy women rightly complain about all the time. Bottom line is it's very hard to win here, with the best, most positive will in the world. There's an expectation of single guys jumping through every hoop and 'making an effort', but it's still perfectly acceptable to be ignored. (Odd dynamic, but again perfectly understandable). If we turn it on its head all that leaves the women are the guys who are hugely successful via Fab and the dregs who behave badly. Not ideal. " I've never required someone to jump through hoops for me. If I like their profile (and I'm actually in a position to meet) I'll reply. If the initial interactions are positive I'll meet them socially. If there is mutual attraction and chemistry we might move it forward of and when we are able. It's that simple. Do some fall by the wayside? No doubt. I'm not losing sleep over it though. | |||
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"Jack, you'll only drive yourself potty by just not accepting that if someone doesn't reply, they've no interest in engaging with you I do accept it, but sometimes there is confusion. As already mentioned, I've had people come back to me a while later. I agree - it is confusing (and without being rude, easy for women to be dismissive about as they have differentissues to men on Fab). I used to get round it by immediately deleting messages I'd sent so that I forgot about them. That being said I stopped sending messages at a several years ago as it was an utterly pointless exercise. Five or six years ago Fab was a different place and responses were common. Not any more. That being so I've found the world to be a far more lovely place by not bothering. High value men will always do well by being seen in person at socials and quality clubs and will be judged on merit instead of a swamp infested by the kind of guy women rightly complain about all the time. Bottom line is it's very hard to win here, with the best, most positive will in the world. There's an expectation of single guys jumping through every hoop and 'making an effort', but it's still perfectly acceptable to be ignored. (Odd dynamic, but again perfectly understandable). If we turn it on its head all that leaves the women are the guys who are hugely successful via Fab and the dregs who behave badly. Not ideal. I've never jumped through a hoop for anyone on fab and anyone expecting me to wouldn't be compatible anyway so I would have to question the thought process of any man considering jumping through hoops in the hope of meeting someone here. When I signed up here almost 10 years ago I had zero experience of anything like this, virtually no sexual history to back me up and I was also 51 heading for 52 which according to some on here should also have been a huge barrier. I've never been to a club and have never networked through socials. I'm not top tier or in the 5% that people speak of. I'm not even close in fact. The biggest issues I've seen that prevent men from meeting others here are firstly that they think it's a competition and secondly that they put so much effort into complaining about other people's preferences rather than focusing on their own. As soon as you start seeing this site as a competition it's time to give up. Any success I've had on fab has been down to me and what I want and not being afraid to say no to what I don't want. Having the self respect to not accept any offer that comes along just because and being myself rather than trying to tick boxes and be what I think others want me to be. The fact that you are describing men on fab as either hugely successful or the dregs of society says much more about your success or lack of than anything else. I don't message women on here and haven't done since the beginning of 2020 but that has never stopped women getting in touch with me simply beggar they feel safe doing so and can tell from my forum contributions that they might actually have a decent conversation. That's where all of my fab success has come from. Too many men are lacking in patience and don't understand the principle of consistency. Be yourself, not just for a day or a month but in everything you do on fab whether that's your pics, bio, forum comments and messages and be patient." Well said. | |||
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"Op, would you really want an inbox full of "no, thanks"?" Yes, at least I'd know. | |||
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"Read and no reply means exactly that, no reply not interested how is that vague? If someone wants to reply they will I totally agree with you. No reply means not interested in my opinion " As said several times, I've had dates because of a second message after a first message hasn't been read. | |||
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"Read and no reply means exactly that, no reply not interested how is that vague? If someone wants to reply they will I totally agree with you. No reply means not interested in my opinion " Is a button that complicated? As said several times, I've had dates because of a second message after a first message hasn't been read. | |||
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"What happened to just good old fashioned manners if you fit there criteria no thanks takes a second and costs absolutely nothing " Indeed, plus what I'm suggesting simplifies, clarifieds and closes everything. | |||
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"Op, would you really want an inbox full of "no, thanks"? Yes, at least I'd know. " The only reason you don't know is because you won't accept that no reply is a reply. You're choosing to tell yourself you don't know | |||
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"Jack, you'll only drive yourself potty by just not accepting that if someone doesn't reply, they've no interest in engaging with you I do accept it, but sometimes there is confusion. As already mentioned, I've had people come back to me a while later. I agree - it is confusing (and without being rude, easy for women to be dismissive about as they have differentissues to men on Fab). I used to get round it by immediately deleting messages I'd sent so that I forgot about them. That being said I stopped sending messages at a several years ago as it was an utterly pointless exercise. Five or six years ago Fab was a different place and responses were common. Not any more. That being so I've found the world to be a far more lovely place by not bothering. High value men will always do well by being seen in person at socials and quality clubs and will be judged on merit instead of a swamp infested by the kind of guy women rightly complain about all the time. Bottom line is it's very hard to win here, with the best, most positive will in the world. There's an expectation of single guys jumping through every hoop and 'making an effort', but it's still perfectly acceptable to be ignored. (Odd dynamic, but again perfectly understandable). If we turn it on its head all that leaves the women are the guys who are hugely successful via Fab and the dregs who behave badly. Not ideal. I've never jumped through a hoop for anyone on fab and anyone expecting me to wouldn't be compatible anyway so I would have to question the thought process of any man considering jumping through hoops in the hope of meeting someone here. When I signed up here almost 10 years ago I had zero experience of anything like this, virtually no sexual history to back me up and I was also 51 heading for 52 which according to some on here should also have been a huge barrier. I've never been to a club and have never networked through socials. I'm not top tier or in the 5% that people speak of. I'm not even close in fact. The biggest issues I've seen that prevent men from meeting others here are firstly that they think it's a competition and secondly that they put so much effort into complaining about other people's preferences rather than focusing on their own. As soon as you start seeing this site as a competition it's time to give up. Any success I've had on fab has been down to me and what I want and not being afraid to say no to what I don't want. Having the self respect to not accept any offer that comes along just because and being myself rather than trying to tick boxes and be what I think others want me to be. The fact that you are describing men on fab as either hugely successful or the dregs of society says much more about your success or lack of than anything else. I don't message women on here and haven't done since the beginning of 2020 but that has never stopped women getting in touch with me simply beggar they feel safe doing so and can tell from my forum contributions that they might actually have a decent conversation. That's where all of my fab success has come from. Too many men are lacking in patience and don't understand the principle of consistency. Be yourself, not just for a day or a month but in everything you do on fab whether that's your pics, bio, forum comments and messages and be patient." I'm in absolute agreement with you on almost all counts, but you might want to re-read what I said about what would be left if guys who put a lot of effort in over time and get nowhere either quit or stop using Fab as a vehicle to get meets. What I actually said was that there are a huge amount of men on here who send women either disrespectful, disgusting or effortless messages - those people ARE the dregs of Fab as they have no respect for women or themselves. If the guys who put the effort in and ARE respectful, but are unsuccessful go elsewhere or try a different tack all that will be left are the guys who ARE very successful and those who behave badly. No point whatsoever in 'banging heads against walls. The old adage of 'doing what you've always done and getting what you've always got' applies if not, so complaining about it is futile and makes a fella look even worse. It won't change things one bit. What I've said says nothing about me, or my 'lack of success'. Different methods work for different people. I stated pretty much what you have in every respect if you read it properly. As for 'jumping through hoops' there have been hundreds of threads over the last few years telling men they need to jump through multiple hoops, but to expect nothing in return. If that effort is fruitless over time it should be obvious to quit or try something completely different. You've done as I have and stopped sending messages, but have got results from forums. By coincidence my one gold nugget directly from Fab in the last few years was exactly the same. I was purely suggesting guys take control of their own destiny and go get seen in person, for their actual merits as an individual. My verifications speak for themselves in that respect, as I suspect do yours. To clarify my 'dregs' comment I absolutely stand by it as I've seen many messages my female friends get and it's shocking how many of those messages are truly scummy. That doesn't mean everyone is, but if the unsuccessful decent guys all went elsewhere women would be left with a percentage of really great fellas, who are in huge demand, along with the herd who treat women like they're worthless. I've no respect whatsoever for the latter. | |||
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"Op, would you really want an inbox full of "no, thanks"? Yes, at least I'd know. The only reason you don't know is because you won't accept that no reply is a reply. You're choosing to tell yourself you don't know " As said several times, I've had dates because of a second message after a first message hasn't been read. | |||
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"Op, would you really want an inbox full of "no, thanks"? Yes, at least I'd know. The only reason you don't know is because you won't accept that no reply is a reply. You're choosing to tell yourself you don't know As said several times, I've had dates because of a second message after a first message hasn't been read." Sure some might fall by the wayside. There will always be outliers. Is it really a big deal? | |||
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"Sure some might fall by the wayside. There will always be outliers. Is it really a big deal?" Clearly not to you as you don't care if your attitude causes confusion. Obviously it matters to me as I raised the subject. I don't see why people are against the idea of something that may be useful to others. If you don't want it, you can easily ignore it. | |||
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