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By *Duval69 OP   Man
27 weeks ago

Chesterfield

As someone who tends to get 99% of my messages read and ignored, I don’t think this is a great idea personally and would be in favour of getting rid of it. I’m not paying for site supporter to message someone and they’re just gonna ignore it anyway and as I don’t use any of the extra benefits but surely I should still be able to drop someone a message? I’ve got verifications at least, better than most the time wasters on here.

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By *acky RacersCouple
27 weeks ago

Lincoln

Surely people should be able to choose who they receive messages from?

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By *estinysswingersCouple
27 weeks ago

Worsley

and I thought I was a cheapskate. It's only £5 for two months.

The person you want to message could be the meet of your life..........

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By (user no longer on site)
27 weeks ago

So true they could be the meet of your life

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By *Duval69 OP   Man
27 weeks ago

Chesterfield


"and I thought I was a cheapskate. It's only £5 for two months.

The person you want to message could be the meet of your life.........."

LOL, I wish this was the issue. I can see why it’s done, to stop time wasters and fake accounts I guess. Just because I don’t wanna pay to play doesn’t mean I can’t have a fair shot at a message!

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By *Duval69 OP   Man
27 weeks ago

Chesterfield


"Surely people should be able to choose who they receive messages from? "

Yes of course, just don’t think this is one is fair to the folks who don’t wanna pay to play! Personally I think if you have verifications it’s much better than being a site supporter

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
27 weeks ago

East Sussex

People are entitled to choose who they receive messages from.

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By *Duval69 OP   Man
27 weeks ago

Chesterfield


"People are entitled to choose who they receive messages from."

True, no disagreement there in the slightest. Just think there’s wasted opportunities missed cos I refuse to pay to play. That’s life though isn’t it I guess!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
27 weeks ago

East Sussex


"People are entitled to choose who they receive messages from.

True, no disagreement there in the slightest. Just think there’s wasted opportunities missed cos I refuse to pay to play. That’s life though isn’t it I guess! "

It is life I agree.

There are no missed opportunities. These people don't want messages from non site supporters because they don't want to meet them, you're missing nothing

What do you mean by 'pay to play'?

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By *naswingdressWoman
27 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

As someone who is absolutely bombarded, I think the more filters the better. (I've never used this particular filter)

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By *ipstick KissesWoman
27 weeks ago

Newry

Pay to play?

Leave your entitlement at the door and concern yourself with those who are open to receiving messages from you - perhaps your experience here will be more enjoyable.

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By *Duval69 OP   Man
27 weeks ago

Chesterfield


"Pay to play?

Leave your entitlement at the door and concern yourself with those who are open to receiving messages from you - perhaps your experience here will be more enjoyable."

If I had no verifications I wouldn't have a leg to stand on, that's fair play! But if you're a woman looking for a man, I think not paying for more use of this site should still allow you to drop a message! Same with any dating app though isn't it really so!

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By *naswingdressWoman
27 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

If/when I open my filters to men again, I can see using this filter as a way to open my age filter a bit more.

My age preferences here are pretty broad. But if I set them pretty broad, I get more messages than I can cope with.

The number of messages I can cope with is, I dunno (estimate) ages 38-42. (Using my own age as the middle point)

If I say "only site supporter, only public pictures", it might help me expand it to, I dunno, ages 36-44. Because fewer people can message.

The complaints about the unfairness of age blocks are legion.

I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't. I know the answer is that I should meet all the complainers and forget my own preferences, because entitlement. Funnily enough, I'm not going to do that.

Unless/until there's a way to more effectively govern the way some people behave on this site, the only way to manage the hordes is filters.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
27 weeks ago

East Sussex

I have verifications, I pay site support, do you think your restrictions on age should be ignored? Or do you think that because you don't want to meet women of my age that I should respect that?

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By *Duval69 OP   Man
27 weeks ago

Chesterfield


"If/when I open my filters to men again, I can see using this filter as a way to open my age filter a bit more.

My age preferences here are pretty broad. But if I set them pretty broad, I get more messages than I can cope with.

The number of messages I can cope with is, I dunno (estimate) ages 38-42. (Using my own age as the middle point)

If I say "only site supporter, only public pictures", it might help me expand it to, I dunno, ages 36-44. Because fewer people can message.

The complaints about the unfairness of age blocks are legion.

I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't. I know the answer is that I should meet all the complainers and forget my own preferences, because entitlement. Funnily enough, I'm not going to do that.

Unless/until there's a way to more effectively govern the way some people behave on this site, the only way to manage the hordes is filters."

Oh totally agree with age, pictures too that's a valid one to have. There needs to be a handful of filters to help stop you lot being bombarded with messages, totally understand that! Also yes I know 90% of men on here are awful!

Site supporter just isn't something I'd make use of it's a waste of my money, so just don't feel it's fair to be be restricted to do a basic thing like message someone just based off not having it.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
27 weeks ago

East Sussex

^^ you want one of the advantages of site support but don't want to pay for it?

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By *eautyandthebeast86Couple
27 weeks ago

Somewhere in Norfolk ask :)

[Removed by poster at 27/11/25 11:58:32]

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By *naswingdressWoman
27 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)


"If/when I open my filters to men again, I can see using this filter as a way to open my age filter a bit more.

My age preferences here are pretty broad. But if I set them pretty broad, I get more messages than I can cope with.

The number of messages I can cope with is, I dunno (estimate) ages 38-42. (Using my own age as the middle point)

If I say "only site supporter, only public pictures", it might help me expand it to, I dunno, ages 36-44. Because fewer people can message.

The complaints about the unfairness of age blocks are legion.

I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't. I know the answer is that I should meet all the complainers and forget my own preferences, because entitlement. Funnily enough, I'm not going to do that.

Unless/until there's a way to more effectively govern the way some people behave on this site, the only way to manage the hordes is filters.

Oh totally agree with age, pictures too that's a valid one to have. There needs to be a handful of filters to help stop you lot being bombarded with messages, totally understand that! Also yes I know 90% of men on here are awful!

Site supporter just isn't something I'd make use of it's a waste of my money, so just don't feel it's fair to be be restricted to do a basic thing like message someone just based off not having it."

That's a choice you make.

I know some people do it to reduce harassment from people who sign up for hundreds of accounts just to bother them.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
Forum Mod
27 weeks ago

Central

Take the site supporter option, for the features that it adds.

Message filters are tools that some use to make their experience here match their preferences. Some might find it intolerable here, without this option.

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By *Duval69 OP   Man
27 weeks ago

Chesterfield


"^^ you want one of the advantages of site support but don't want to pay for it? "

All I wanted to do was message someone... I'm not asking for much else lol, don't need unlimited messages or none of it. Just the standard 1 message to introduce myself!

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By *eroLondonMan
27 weeks ago

Mayfair

OP, consider this: I am a chancer, a cad, a person with a dubious and sinister disposition, and therefore I'm going to create about a dozen profiles (at least). That way I'll be able to send a variety of unsavoury and unsolicited messages to hundreds of women, with photos of my cock, probably some abusive messages too and also use my various profiles to get around any previous bans I've been given or circumvent certain filters.

However I'm buggered if I'm paying £5 site supporter for •every• profile I've created, past, present and future...because, despite my nefarious schemes, even I can't afford that nor do I wish to pay Fab oodles of moola.

ㅤㅤ

This is but one of many tools/options available to limit messages from such people (e.g. newbies, those who are not photo verified etc).

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By *naswingdressWoman
27 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)


"^^ you want one of the advantages of site support but don't want to pay for it?

All I wanted to do was message someone... I'm not asking for much else lol, don't need unlimited messages or none of it. Just the standard 1 message to introduce myself! "

Sometimes you can't get what you want. That's life.

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By *ipstick KissesWoman
27 weeks ago

Newry


"^^ you want one of the advantages of site support but don't want to pay for it?

All I wanted to do was message someone... I'm not asking for much else lol, don't need unlimited messages or none of it. Just the standard 1 message to introduce myself! "

But they don't want you to message them. Accept that and move on.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
27 weeks ago

East Sussex


"^^ you want one of the advantages of site support but don't want to pay for it?

All I wanted to do was message someone... I'm not asking for much else lol, don't need unlimited messages or none of it. Just the standard 1 message to introduce myself! "

All you want is to contact someone who has made it obvious they don't want contact from you.

You are not entitled to be able to contact people just because it's something you want.

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By *Duval69 OP   Man
27 weeks ago

Chesterfield


"^^ you want one of the advantages of site support but don't want to pay for it?

All I wanted to do was message someone... I'm not asking for much else lol, don't need unlimited messages or none of it. Just the standard 1 message to introduce myself!

All you want is to contact someone who has made it obvious they don't want contact from you.

You are not entitled to be able to contact people just because it's something you want. "

No I don't think I'm entitled to that at all, but I cba to go back and forth, clearly it's another me thing

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By *Duval69 OP   Man
27 weeks ago

Chesterfield

[Removed by poster at 27/11/25 19:49:46]

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By *ealitybitesMan
27 weeks ago

Belfast

I'm a site supporter but this pay to play thingy that you're fixated on is delusional.

Are you seriously suggesting that site supporters are paying for the opportunity to chat or meet or have sex?

It's a few quid that gives us a handful of additional benefits in using the website. It has absolutely feck all to do with how people engage.

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By *acky RacersCouple
27 weeks ago

Lincoln


"People are entitled to choose who they receive messages from.

True, no disagreement there in the slightest. Just think there’s wasted opportunities missed cos I refuse to pay to play. That’s life though isn’t it I guess! "

Opportunity for who? Them or you?

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By *ll 4 HerCouple
27 weeks ago

Bolton

Op you may be verified but that doesn't mean you should be able to contact anyone you want.

We use this option in the hope it reduces the abuse when we choose not to meet someone.

Just today we had abuse from a verified user because we didn't want to arrange a meet with them, they didn't read our profile and weren't what we were looking for.

If the site works as it should, we report the abuse and hopefully they get banned, waving goodbye to their cash that they paid for being a site supporter. Will they keep this pattern up and keep paying for site support and come back? Unlikely

Hence why we use it and pay for the privilege.

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By *oan of DArcCouple
27 weeks ago

Glasgow


"People are entitled to choose who they receive messages from.

True, no disagreement there in the slightest. Just think there’s wasted opportunities missed cos I refuse to pay to play. That’s life though isn’t it I guess!

It is life I agree.

There are no missed opportunities. These people don't want messages from non site supporters because they don't want to meet them, you're missing nothing

What do you mean by 'pay to play'?

"

_____________________________

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By *oan of DArcCouple
27 weeks ago

Glasgow


"^^ you want one of the advantages of site support but don't want to pay for it?

All I wanted to do was message someone... I'm not asking for much else lol, don't need unlimited messages or none of it. Just the standard 1 message to introduce myself! "

_______________________________________________________

...but they dont want to hear from non site supporters, you don't know their reasons for that preference but you know what you need to do if you're so keen!

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By *oan of DArcCouple
27 weeks ago

Glasgow


"Pay to play?

Leave your entitlement at the door and concern yourself with those who are open to receiving messages from you - perhaps your experience here will be more enjoyable.

If I had no verifications I wouldn't have a leg to stand on, that's fair play! But if you're a woman looking for a man, I think not paying for more use of this site should still allow you to drop a message! Same with any dating app though isn't it really so!"

_______________________________________________

Believe me, women using this site are not short of messages and for most of us it's only an occasional distraction from real life, none of us will be crying over the possibility of missing out on the odd message from a decent bloke who might have the qualities we're looking for!

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