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When someone asks for your photo, then ghosts you, time to reflect on behavior and platform values

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By *eady4YourLoad OP   Man
14 hours ago

Reading

I’m starting this thread in the hope that it will be useful and raise awareness.

I believe it’s time we reflect on how behavior affects others and what this platform stands for. Some actions should no longer be brushed aside, if necessary, they should be reportable and subject to moderation or sanctions.

Some users ask you to send a face photo during the initial chat.

You politely agree and send yours — but then:

• They never send theirs back,

• Or they go completely silent after receiving yours.

This kind of behavior:

• Creates one-sided expectations,

• Undermines mutual trust,

• And frankly, comes off as rude and disrespectful.

On a platform like this, we all seek honest, reciprocal, and respectful communication.

This type of ghosting behavior after requesting something personal should no longer be treated as “normal.”

My suggestion:

• These kinds of interactions should be reportable.

• Moderation should consider warnings, temporary limits, or behavior score impacts for repeat offenders.

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By *tephanie63Woman
14 hours ago

BRIDGWATER

It's completely ridiculous to suggest sanctions against people who don't send a return photo or ghost people.

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By *eady4YourLoad OP   Man
14 hours ago

Reading

I completely understand , no one should be forced to reply or share a photo. Consent and freedom are essential on any platform.

But when someone asks for a face photo and then vanishes without a word, that’s no longer just “freedom of choice.” It’s a lack of basic courtesy and respect.

Your response reflects a very common mindset, the kind that values individual freedom, but often ignores personal responsibility and its emotional impact on others.

I’m not saying every quiet person deserves punishment. But if someone , especially repeatedly, requests photos and never engages, it starts to feel manipulative.

It’s not about policing silence. It’s about calling out behavior that uses people’s trust and openness, then offers nothing in return , not even a simple “no thanks.”

On a platform that promotes mutual respect, this kind of exchange shouldn’t be normalized. Boundaries work both ways.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
14 hours ago

East Sussex

You have put this in the right place for admin to see.

however personally we never send face photos until we've decided a meet is a possibility and never if they demand one immediately

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By *ucka39Man
13 hours ago

Newcastle

But the site has filters which means you don't need to engage with anyone who doesn't have a profile picture etc

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By *eady4YourLoad OP   Man
13 hours ago

Reading

I agree that sharing face photos is a personal choice and shouldn’t be done immediately without mutual trust. However, disappearing without any explanation or asking for a photo and then going silent is disrespectful and undermines trust. That’s why I believe boundaries should be mutual. Thank you for your kind contribution dear @Nicecouple561

Of course, the admin will see this and will share their opinion. They might agree or disagree, or say that something should be done about it — that’s a separate matter. But my aim here is to create a bit of brainstorming, to think about whether we might be doing something wrong ethically or socially. Are we hurting people or not? I want to raise awareness about what we might need to reconsider. It’s not just about the admin seeing and setting rules.

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By *eady4YourLoad OP   Man
13 hours ago

Reading

Thank you dear @Bucka39

Yes, the site filters are really helpful. However, what I’m talking about is a bit different. The issue isn’t just about not sending photos; sometimes people ask for a photo and then disappear without any explanation. For example, both parties might chat without sharing photos at first, then request photos from each other. One side sends a photo, but the other either doesn’t send theirs or goes silent after asking. This situation can’t be solved by filters alone because it’s about mutual trust and respect. I’m referring not to system filters, but to people’s behavior and communication.

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By *ouple24669Couple
13 hours ago

Aberdeen

The issue you have is YOU consider it a lack or courtesy and respect. But just because you think that does not make it so.

That’s simply your opinion and nothing else.

Everyone is free to send what they want or don’t want to send. Just because you send something that doesn’t entitle you to anything…..not even a response. You can take that any way you want but if it bothers you (it clearly does) that’s your problem and no one else’s.

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By *ortyairCouple
13 hours ago

Wallasey


"Thank you dear @Bucka39

Yes, the site filters are really helpful. However, what I’m talking about is a bit different. The issue isn’t just about not sending photos; sometimes people ask for a photo and then disappear without any explanation. For example, both parties might chat without sharing photos at first, then request photos from each other. One side sends a photo, but the other either doesn’t send theirs or goes silent after asking. This situation can’t be solved by filters alone because it’s about mutual trust and respect. I’m referring not to system filters, but to people’s behavior and communication."
You are asking for an objective solution to a subjective problem.

We are not the same and expecting everyone to behave the same way is an exercise in futility.

Unless individuals break site rules, are insulting or offensive then they shouldn't face any sanctions. It's not nice but its nothing more than that. Just move on, there's plenty more fish in the sea as they say,

Mrs x

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By *eady4YourLoad OP   Man
12 hours ago

Reading

Dear @_ouple24669

This message comes across as quite harsh and reflects an approach that views personal boundaries purely through the lens of individual freedom.

You’re right that everyone is free to choose what they send and to whom, I absolutely agree with that. But mutual interactions, especially when they involve personal sharing like photos, exist within a social context, not in a vacuum.

Saying “you’re not entitled to anything, not even a response” may be technically true, but if we normalize that attitude, it undermines the idea of basic courtesy in any interaction. Respect isn’t just about rights , it’s also about how we treat people when they’ve been open or vulnerable with us.

So yes, what I said is an opinion, just like yours is. But opinions shape culture. And I believe a culture where people take 2 seconds to say “no thanks” instead of disappearing is a healthier one. That’s not entitlement. That’s empathy.

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By *eady4YourLoad OP   Man
12 hours ago

Reading

Hi @Nortyair

Thanks for your input

You’re absolutely right that we’re all different, and I agree, we can’t expect everyone to behave the same way. I also understand that not everything unpleasant should result in sanctions, especially if it doesn’t break any site rules.But I think there’s value in distinguishing between “what’s punishable” and “what’s worth reflecting on.” I’m not necessarily asking for admin-imposed rules, I’m inviting a discussion about the social dynamics we create when we ghost people after they’ve been open and respectful.It’s true that the sea is full of fish, but if many are being caught and thrown back without a word, maybe we should at least ask, are we fishing responsibly?

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By *ortyairCouple
12 hours ago

Wallasey


"Dear @_ouple24669

This message comes across as quite harsh and reflects an approach that views personal boundaries purely through the lens of individual freedom.

You’re right that everyone is free to choose what they send and to whom, I absolutely agree with that. But mutual interactions, especially when they involve personal sharing like photos, exist within a social context, not in a vacuum.

Saying “you’re not entitled to anything, not even a response” may be technically true, but if we normalize that attitude, it undermines the idea of basic courtesy in any interaction. Respect isn’t just about rights , it’s also about how we treat people when they’ve been open or vulnerable with us.

So yes, what I said is an opinion, just like yours is. But opinions shape culture. And I believe a culture where people take 2 seconds to say “no thanks” instead of disappearing is a healthier one. That’s not entitlement. That’s empathy.

"
It would be great if you were on a site with others that had a primary goal of caring about others feeli gs. Unfortunately you aren't, you are on a sex site and there's plenty on here who dont give a monkeys about not upsetting someone's feeling or playing by a 'higher' moral standard, just so long as they achieve their own primary goal of getting laid.

As soon as you come to this realisation that not everyone plays by the same rules, or even the same game, the happier you'll be in relation to this.

Whether you like it or not the other poster was quite correct in what they were saying.

If people dont match up to your standards just move on, dont give them a seconds thought, they obviously aren't giving you one,

Mrs x

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By *ortyairCouple
12 hours ago

Wallasey


"Hi @Nortyair

Thanks for your input

You’re absolutely right that we’re all different, and I agree, we can’t expect everyone to behave the same way. I also understand that not everything unpleasant should result in sanctions, especially if it doesn’t break any site rules.But I think there’s value in distinguishing between “what’s punishable” and “what’s worth reflecting on.” I’m not necessarily asking for admin-imposed rules, I’m inviting a discussion about the social dynamics we create when we ghost people after they’ve been open and respectful.It’s true that the sea is full of fish, but if many are being caught and thrown back without a word, maybe we should at least ask, are we fishing responsibly?"
Can I ask why you think that this needs addressing? Why should everyone do or behave as you would like? Isn't that a little narcissistic?

People's response on here are their responses. They are not yours, mine or anyone else's and as such they should have equal respect for them. They are just as valid as yours, mine or anyone else's.

By suggesting that people should behave in a certain way is to not be showing them and their choices the same level of respect you obviously want people to show yours.

Instead of thinking negatively about their choices, take some positive choice and choose to move on.

Everyone should be free to behave as they see fit. As for social dynamics and whether its the right way to do things, we've been on the site, on and off, since it started and it works pretty well. As long as this continues you are trying to fix something that's not broken, Mrs x

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By *uliette500Woman
11 hours ago

Hull

So let me get this right....

You were chatting to someone they asked for a face pic which you send. They see the pic decide you are not for them and don't reply.

You feel it's rude because they didn't send theirs to you.

Why would or should they when you are not their type?

Why do you feel they should reply to you? FAQs on the site clearly state no reply = not interested. This can apply at any point in the conversation.

As a woman on here telling someone they are not for you very often leads to abuse so I fully understand why they end the conversation at that point.

The person has broken no site rules by not repliying to you and they are under no obligation to return a face pic to you either.

Just because you dont like it does not make it a reportable ot punishable offence.

If your feelings and your trust are so damaged by not getting replies or returned pictures maybe this is not the site for you OP.

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By *ony-JonesMan
8 hours ago

Gillingham


"So let me get this right....

You were chatting to someone they asked for a face pic which you send. They see the pic decide you are not for them and don't reply.

You feel it's rude because they didn't send theirs to you.

Why would or should they when you are not their type?

Why do you feel they should reply to you? FAQs on the site clearly state no reply = not interested. This can apply at any point in the conversation.

As a woman on here telling someone they are not for you very often leads to abuse so I fully understand why they end the conversation at that point.

The person has broken no site rules by not repliying to you and they are under no obligation to return a face pic to you either.

Just because you dont like it does not make it a reportable ot punishable offence.

If your feelings and your trust are so damaged by not getting replies or returned pictures maybe this is not the site for you OP. "

I think this sums it up, sometimes you have to have a thick skin and man up if your going to survive this site.

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By *inchestersBitchWoman
6 hours ago

mid glam

I thought ghosting was being cut off completely by someone you know or have known in real life for a substantial amount of time?

I understand why you've wrote this OP, you think everyone should have manners and respond.

Either way a response of not my type or no thanks or just simply not responding/blocking could affect that person's confidence.....so maybe they search for other ways to look for what they want and not use this platform for that. Maybe the way forward for that individual is not to keep doing the same thing to get the same result.

Also as a side note, naming someone on the thread that's blocked you is not cool dude.

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By *inchestersBitchWoman
6 hours ago

mid glam

Helpful tip OP

Use reply+quote to respond to a profiles post

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By *ortyairCouple
4 hours ago

Wallasey

Oops, Mrs x

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By *ealitybitesMan
4 hours ago

Belfast

Op, are you using chatgpt to comment here or why have you referred to everyone you have responded to as "dear"?

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By *tephanie63Woman
4 hours ago

BRIDGWATER


"I’m starting this thread in the hope that it will be useful and raise awareness.

I believe it’s time we reflect on how behavior affects others and what this platform stands for. Some actions should no longer be brushed aside, if necessary, they should be reportable and subject to moderation or sanctions.

Some users ask you to send a face photo during the initial chat.

You politely agree and send yours — but then:

• They never send theirs back,

• Or they go completely silent after receiving yours.

This kind of behavior:

• Creates one-sided expectations,

• Undermines mutual trust,

• And frankly, comes off as rude and disrespectful.

On a platform like this, we all seek honest, reciprocal, and respectful communication.

This type of ghosting behavior after requesting something personal should no longer be treated as “normal.”

My suggestion:

• These kinds of interactions should be reportable.

• Moderation should consider warnings, temporary limits, or behavior score impacts for repeat offenders.

"

A system of sanctions for the things that you suggest above is unworkable. Any member would be able to delete messages sent and then claim that the person had ghosted them, not sent a photo ect. So therefore the suggestion of sanctions you make is ridiculous.

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By *weetWithATw1stWoman
4 hours ago

MiddleofMyStreet

No-one on here is entitled to a reply, not one person.

In terms of sending a face pic then getting blocked or message gets deleted (ghosting etc) it is a simple case of you are not for them and the move along instead of complaining.

As the site FAQs states, No reply or deleted message is a no thanks...

Ladies and couples on here get swamped by messages all wanting attention. sometimes i wish i had a PA to deal with my mail i get. However, sadly i do not and i also do not have all day to spend replying to each and every single message saying no thanks. I will read if interestd i reply, if i am not interested i delete. It is quite simple.

Sometimes people will block or just delete messages because of the abuse we get from others (not just men but couples etc) when we say a no thank you, or get the 10000000 questions as to why it is a no. No is a complete sentence, Deleted mail is a response, being blocked is a response.

You just have to move on to find someone who aligns with what you are after and that you are what they are after. We will not be everyones cup of tea (or coffee or tequila).

Trying to police something like this will end up causing a lot of abuse with people false reporting.

(I may have repeated myself a few times in this but the amount of people who try and request either policing the ghosting or no replies etc. end of the day No-One is entitled to a reply)

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By *uys300Man
3 hours ago

middlesbrough


"I’m starting this thread in the hope that it will be useful and raise awareness.

I believe it’s time we reflect on how behavior affects others and what this platform stands for. Some actions should no longer be brushed aside, if necessary, they should be reportable and subject to moderation or sanctions.

Some users ask you to send a face photo during the initial chat.

You politely agree and send yours — but then:

• They never send theirs back,

• Or they go completely silent after receiving yours.

This kind of behavior:

• Creates one-sided expectations,

• Undermines mutual trust,

• And frankly, comes off as rude and disrespectful.

On a platform like this, we all seek honest, reciprocal, and respectful communication.

This type of ghosting behavior after requesting something personal should no longer be treated as “normal.”

My suggestion:

• These kinds of interactions should be reportable.

• Moderation should consider warnings, temporary limits, or behavior score impacts for repeat offenders.

"
when chatting if they ask for face pic suggest meet up somewhere neutral first. Take it from there. Never ask someone back to mine without this first.

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By *iscreetfuncpl12Couple
3 hours ago

Somerset


"I’m starting this thread in the hope that it will be useful and raise awareness.

I believe it’s time we reflect on how behavior affects others and what this platform stands for. Some actions should no longer be brushed aside, if necessary, they should be reportable and subject to moderation or sanctions.

Some users ask you to send a face photo during the initial chat.

You politely agree and send yours — but then:

• They never send theirs back,

• Or they go completely silent after receiving yours.

This kind of behavior:

• Creates one-sided expectations,

• Undermines mutual trust,

• And frankly, comes off as rude and disrespectful.

On a platform like this, we all seek honest, reciprocal, and respectful communication.

This type of ghosting behavior after requesting something personal should no longer be treated as “normal.”

My suggestion:

• These kinds of interactions should be reportable.

• Moderation should consider warnings, temporary limits, or behavior score impacts for repeat offenders.

"

I am not sure how, after sending a photograph, being explicitly told by the recipient by message that you are not physically attractive enough to them to have sex with is better than the implicit similar message sent by receiving no reply. I would be surprised if anyone on Fab hasn’t experienced similar or at least I hope it’s not just you and me, and I do know it’s me and not my partner! You are a gay man on a site primarily used by straight men. Many of the straightish ones will no doubt get turned on by the thought of male interaction but when it gets to the stage of exchanging photographs, the possibility of taking the interaction from fantasy to reality becomes scary and they perhaps realise they aren’t as bi curious as they thought.

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By *aciamiCouple
3 hours ago

Hertfordshire


"The issue you have is YOU consider it a lack or courtesy and respect. But just because you think that does not make it so.

That’s simply your opinion and nothing else.

Everyone is free to send what they want or don’t want to send. Just because you send something that doesn’t entitle you to anything…..not even a response. You can take that any way you want but if it bothers you (it clearly does) that’s your problem and no one else’s. "

This!

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By *r and Mrs B xxCouple
3 hours ago

Chippenham


"I’m starting this thread in the hope that it will be useful and raise awareness.

I believe it’s time we reflect on how behavior affects others and what this platform stands for. Some actions should no longer be brushed aside, if necessary, they should be reportable and subject to moderation or sanctions.

Some users ask you to send a face photo during the initial chat.

You politely agree and send yours — but then:

• They never send theirs back,

• Or they go completely silent after receiving yours.

This kind of behavior:

• Creates one-sided expectations,

• Undermines mutual trust,

• And frankly, comes off as rude and disrespectful.

On a platform like this, we all seek honest, reciprocal, and respectful communication.

This type of ghosting behavior after requesting something personal should no longer be treated as “normal.”

My suggestion:

• These kinds of interactions should be reportable.

• Moderation should consider warnings, temporary limits, or behavior score impacts for repeat offenders.

"

Just wondering what you do in such a situation OP?

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By *ntrigued888Woman
2 hours ago

Herts, Beds & Bucks

The silence comes from not wanting to take it any further.

I usually say would you care to share a face pic and no hard feelings if either isn't attracted. If I'm not , I'll just say I'm not feeling a spark. But in the past I've received abuse

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By *uckurcumMan
2 hours ago

Bishop Auckland

This like all sites can be likened to a 'Lucky Bag' ...

You put your hand in,you may like what is offered,then that's lucky....

Alternatively,you get the sour sweet that's not to your liking,if you swallow it,and then complain,you shouldn't have eaten it in the first place but spat it out !

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