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By *hristopherd999 OP   Man
12 weeks ago

Brentwood

Why does the site take so long to update,you see someone online send a message and then you find they went offline 10 minutes earlier!. Anyone find this?

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod

12 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

It's never 100% accurate. But does it honestly matter? People won't always answer a message immediately even if they're logged on all day.

I've just had a hectic work week and have barely logged in since last Friday. I still have messages from days ago unread.

The lag is usually only a matter of minutes.

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By *hristopherd999 OP   Man
11 weeks ago

Brentwood


"It's never 100% accurate. But does it honestly matter? People won't always answer a message immediately even if they're logged on all day.

I've just had a hectic work week and have barely logged in since last Friday. I still have messages from days ago unread.

The lag is usually only a matter of minutes. "

The problem is that the person went of line about 10 minutes before you sent the message although they were showing they were online. That means by the time they come back on the next time, your message is lost in the ether

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod

11 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"It's never 100% accurate. But does it honestly matter? People won't always answer a message immediately even if they're logged on all day.

I've just had a hectic work week and have barely logged in since last Friday. I still have messages from days ago unread.

The lag is usually only a matter of minutes.

The problem is that the person went of line about 10 minutes before you sent the message although they were showing they were online. That means by the time they come back on the next time, your message is lost in the ether"

That's an assumption though.

Who's to say your message wasn't the last they received?

And people online aren't always online just to read messages. They're not always online looking to meet. They could be online for any number of reasons with no intention of looking at mail anytime soon.

It's honestly not worth worrying about and many people are put off by any sense of impatience when it comes to messages. Best to let people deal with incoming mail at their own pace.

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By *oodiesCouple
11 weeks ago

reading

To be fair, I might be online but im not actively going through my mailbox as I have to be in the right mood. Sometimes its weeks before I reply. I get what you are saying for accuracy's sake though.

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By *unseeker v2Man
11 weeks ago

Cardiff

OP is right though. In this digital age the site should be better. How can someone show online on Hotlist but go to their profile and they're offline?

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By *ndymac888Man
11 weeks ago

Dumbarton

I get the frustration, see a profile you like and compose a nice message only to find the person is offline and now your message will be destined for the bulk delete pile as it’s gone down the pecking order lol.

It’s definitely one of those “single guy problems” but it also not strictly true. If your profile picture stands out a little (face pic or something different) then it will be enough to give someone pause.

There is also every chance they viewed your profile on hidden and decided your not for them and deleted your message to save an unpleasant rejection.

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By *ucka39Man
11 weeks ago

Newcastle

People tend to scroll through the list of messages and decide what gets opened and what they reply to so it makes no difference whether the message is the first or last received some might just delete them all 😂

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod

11 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"I get the frustration, see a profile you like and compose a nice message only to find the person is offline and now your message will be destined for the bulk delete pile as it’s gone down the pecking order lol.

"

Going by that logic, if they were still online they'd likely (by your own reasoning) be getting more messages. So yours would be going down the line anyway.

Sending someone a message when they're online doesn't boost the chances of it being read any more than sending one when they're offline.

Thinking it does is what causes stress and angst on the sender when there's no response. Do people really sit there and check whether a message has been read or not or deleted?

Trust me. It makes for a far more peaceful life to just let things be and if you get a reply, see it as a result. And if not? Accept it.

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By *ndymac888Man
11 weeks ago

Dumbarton


"I get the frustration, see a profile you like and compose a nice message only to find the person is offline and now your message will be destined for the bulk delete pile as it’s gone down the pecking order lol.

Going by that logic, if they were still online they'd likely (by your own reasoning) be getting more messages. So yours would be going down the line anyway.

Sending someone a message when they're online doesn't boost the chances of it being read any more than sending one when they're offline.

Thinking it does is what causes stress and angst on the sender when there's no response. Do people really sit there and check whether a message has been read or not or deleted?

Trust me. It makes for a far more peaceful life to just let things be and if you get a reply, see it as a result. And if not? Accept it. "

🥱 did you just stop reading my post at that point ?

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod

11 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"I get the frustration, see a profile you like and compose a nice message only to find the person is offline and now your message will be destined for the bulk delete pile as it’s gone down the pecking order lol.

Going by that logic, if they were still online they'd likely (by your own reasoning) be getting more messages. So yours would be going down the line anyway.

Sending someone a message when they're online doesn't boost the chances of it being read any more than sending one when they're offline.

Thinking it does is what causes stress and angst on the sender when there's no response. Do people really sit there and check whether a message has been read or not or deleted?

Trust me. It makes for a far more peaceful life to just let things be and if you get a reply, see it as a result. And if not? Accept it.

🥱 did you just stop reading my post at that point ? "

Nope. I agreed with the rest of what you wrote completely.

But there seems to be a common misconception, particularly amongst single men. that a message sent when someone is online in some way boosts the chance of a reply.

It doesn't. People don't generally pounce on each and every message that hits their inbox the second it arrives.

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By *ndymac888Man
11 weeks ago

Dumbarton


"I get the frustration, see a profile you like and compose a nice message only to find the person is offline and now your message will be destined for the bulk delete pile as it’s gone down the pecking order lol.

Going by that logic, if they were still online they'd likely (by your own reasoning) be getting more messages. So yours would be going down the line anyway.

Sending someone a message when they're online doesn't boost the chances of it being read any more than sending one when they're offline.

Thinking it does is what causes stress and angst on the sender when there's no response. Do people really sit there and check whether a message has been read or not or deleted?

Trust me. It makes for a far more peaceful life to just let things be and if you get a reply, see it as a result. And if not? Accept it.

🥱 did you just stop reading my post at that point ?

Nope. I agreed with the rest of what you wrote completely.

But there seems to be a common misconception, particularly amongst single men. that a message sent when someone is online in some way boosts the chance of a reply.

It doesn't. People don't generally pounce on each and every message that hits their inbox the second it arrives. "

Ahh ok sorry if I sounded bitchy.

Yeah your right good profiles and good messages get reply’s definitely 👍

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By *unglevipsCouple
11 weeks ago

Somerset

The site will have sessions which have a time out for inactivity. After the timeout, with no communication, the site will assume the user has logged off and display so accordingly. If however, they hit logout, it will know immediately and more accurately represents the time out.

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By (user no longer on site)
11 weeks ago

Id love to be able to appear offline specifically for this reason, being able to browse the forums in peace

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By *unseeker v2Man
11 weeks ago

Cardiff


"The site will have sessions which have a time out for inactivity. After the timeout, with no communication, the site will assume the user has logged off and display so accordingly. If however, they hit logout, it will know immediately and more accurately represents the time out.

"

None of that excuses why it shows different status depending which screen you view.

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By (user no longer on site)
11 weeks ago


"Why does the site take so long to update,you see someone online send a message and then you find they went offline 10 minutes earlier!. Anyone find this?"

It takes that time to update because of the software and code used to run the site ...

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By *riel13Woman
11 weeks ago

Northampton

We need to get rid of that little blue dot! Most guys only message when they see that then wonder why they don't get a reply... Also, guys are usually looking to meet when they're online... Women often aren't

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By *riel13Woman
11 weeks ago

Northampton

I know... Off topic, sorry

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod

11 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"I know... Off topic, sorry "

But accurate! 👌👌

The worst assumption people can make is that just because someone is online they're actively looking to meet at that time.

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By *aizyWoman
11 weeks ago

west midlands


"We need to get rid of that little blue dot! Most guys only message when they see that then wonder why they don't get a reply... Also, guys are usually looking to meet when they're online... Women often aren't "

I really do wish they would get rid of it.

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By *unseeker v2Man
11 weeks ago

Cardiff


"I know... Off topic, sorry

But accurate! 👌👌

The worst assumption people can make is that just because someone is online they're actively looking to meet at that time. "

Care to back your "accurate" claim up with any facts or happy to leave it as a sweeping generalisation?

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By (user no longer on site)
11 weeks ago


"I know... Off topic, sorry

But accurate! 👌👌

The worst assumption people can make is that just because someone is online they're actively looking to meet at that time.

Care to back your "accurate" claim up with any facts or happy to leave it as a sweeping generalisation?"

It is in my experience accurate to say that a lot of (predominantly) single men think that if you are online you are up for meeting or chatting at that time.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod

11 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"I know... Off topic, sorry

But accurate! 👌👌

The worst assumption people can make is that just because someone is online they're actively looking to meet at that time.

Care to back your "accurate" claim up with any facts or happy to leave it as a sweeping generalisation?

It is in my experience accurate to say that a lot of (predominantly) single men think that if you are online you are up for meeting or chatting at that time. "

17 years of both couples and single male profiles tells me the same.

I can probably count on one hand the number of 'want to meet today?' messages I/we've had from couples and single women over the years. From men? An almost daily occurrence on the couples profiles and every other day on this one, despite clearly indicating no interest in rushed meets at all on one and no interest in men at all on this one.

People log in for all manner of reasons. To use the forums. To check mail. To view events and make future plans. To update profiles and add photos. To use the cam rooms. To browse profiles for potential future contact/meets.

Yes, some only ever log in when they're actively looking to meet there and then. But a quick glance at the meets forum, the meets section and local updates will evidence the numbers of men, women and couples saying they want to meet today/tonight/tomorrow.

And there's a pretty evident pattern. 🤷‍♂️

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By *unseeker v2Man
11 weeks ago

Cardiff


"I know... Off topic, sorry

But accurate! 👌👌

The worst assumption people can make is that just because someone is online they're actively looking to meet at that time.

Care to back your "accurate" claim up with any facts or happy to leave it as a sweeping generalisation?

It is in my experience accurate to say that a lot of (predominantly) single men think that if you are online you are up for meeting or chatting at that time.

17 years of both couples and single male profiles tells me the same.

I can probably count on one hand the number of 'want to meet today?' messages I/we've had from couples and single women over the years. From men? An almost daily occurrence on the couples profiles and every other day on this one, despite clearly indicating no interest in rushed meets at all on one and no interest in men at all on this one.

People log in for all manner of reasons. To use the forums. To check mail. To view events and make future plans. To update profiles and add photos. To use the cam rooms. To browse profiles for potential future contact/meets.

Yes, some only ever log in when they're actively looking to meet there and then. But a quick glance at the meets forum, the meets section and local updates will evidence the numbers of men, women and couples saying they want to meet today/tonight/tomorrow.

And there's a pretty evident pattern. 🤷‍♂️"

You know as well as I do that there are a vast number of male members on fab and to state the majority are messaging to get an instant meet is pure supposition. I could just as easily say based on my local updates that most women are looking to be gangbanged same day.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod

11 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"I know... Off topic, sorry

But accurate! 👌👌

The worst assumption people can make is that just because someone is online they're actively looking to meet at that time.

Care to back your "accurate" claim up with any facts or happy to leave it as a sweeping generalisation?

It is in my experience accurate to say that a lot of (predominantly) single men think that if you are online you are up for meeting or chatting at that time.

17 years of both couples and single male profiles tells me the same.

I can probably count on one hand the number of 'want to meet today?' messages I/we've had from couples and single women over the years. From men? An almost daily occurrence on the couples profiles and every other day on this one, despite clearly indicating no interest in rushed meets at all on one and no interest in men at all on this one.

People log in for all manner of reasons. To use the forums. To check mail. To view events and make future plans. To update profiles and add photos. To use the cam rooms. To browse profiles for potential future contact/meets.

Yes, some only ever log in when they're actively looking to meet there and then. But a quick glance at the meets forum, the meets section and local updates will evidence the numbers of men, women and couples saying they want to meet today/tonight/tomorrow.

And there's a pretty evident pattern. 🤷‍♂️You know as well as I do that there are a vast number of male members on fab and to state the majority are messaging to get an instant meet is pure supposition. I could just as easily say based on my local updates that most women are looking to be gangbanged same day."

If you can show me where I or anyone else (other than you in the above comment) has used the word 'majority' it would be useful.

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By *unseeker v2Man
11 weeks ago

Cardiff


"I know... Off topic, sorry

But accurate! 👌👌

The worst assumption people can make is that just because someone is online they're actively looking to meet at that time.

Care to back your "accurate" claim up with any facts or happy to leave it as a sweeping generalisation?

It is in my experience accurate to say that a lot of (predominantly) single men think that if you are online you are up for meeting or chatting at that time.

17 years of both couples and single male profiles tells me the same.

I can probably count on one hand the number of 'want to meet today?' messages I/we've had from couples and single women over the years. From men? An almost daily occurrence on the couples profiles and every other day on this one, despite clearly indicating no interest in rushed meets at all on one and no interest in men at all on this one.

People log in for all manner of reasons. To use the forums. To check mail. To view events and make future plans. To update profiles and add photos. To use the cam rooms. To browse profiles for potential future contact/meets.

Yes, some only ever log in when they're actively looking to meet there and then. But a quick glance at the meets forum, the meets section and local updates will evidence the numbers of men, women and couples saying they want to meet today/tonight/tomorrow.

And there's a pretty evident pattern. 🤷‍♂️You know as well as I do that there are a vast number of male members on fab and to state the majority are messaging to get an instant meet is pure supposition. I could just as easily say based on my local updates that most women are looking to be gangbanged same day.

If you can show me where I or anyone else (other than you in the above comment) has used the word 'majority' it would be useful."

Ariel13 said "Most guys only message when they see that then wonder why they don't get a reply... Also, guys are usually looking to meet when they're online"

Oxford dictionary:

most - greatest in amount, quantity, or degree.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod

11 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"I know... Off topic, sorry

But accurate! 👌👌

The worst assumption people can make is that just because someone is online they're actively looking to meet at that time.

Care to back your "accurate" claim up with any facts or happy to leave it as a sweeping generalisation?

It is in my experience accurate to say that a lot of (predominantly) single men think that if you are online you are up for meeting or chatting at that time.

17 years of both couples and single male profiles tells me the same.

I can probably count on one hand the number of 'want to meet today?' messages I/we've had from couples and single women over the years. From men? An almost daily occurrence on the couples profiles and every other day on this one, despite clearly indicating no interest in rushed meets at all on one and no interest in men at all on this one.

People log in for all manner of reasons. To use the forums. To check mail. To view events and make future plans. To update profiles and add photos. To use the cam rooms. To browse profiles for potential future contact/meets.

Yes, some only ever log in when they're actively looking to meet there and then. But a quick glance at the meets forum, the meets section and local updates will evidence the numbers of men, women and couples saying they want to meet today/tonight/tomorrow.

And there's a pretty evident pattern. 🤷‍♂️You know as well as I do that there are a vast number of male members on fab and to state the majority are messaging to get an instant meet is pure supposition. I could just as easily say based on my local updates that most women are looking to be gangbanged same day.

If you can show me where I or anyone else (other than you in the above comment) has used the word 'majority' it would be useful.

Ariel13 said "Most guys only message when they see that then wonder why they don't get a reply... Also, guys are usually looking to meet when they're online"

Oxford dictionary:

most - greatest in amount, quantity, or degree."

I'd guess she was commenting based on her personal experience, so not really supposition.

Nobody else has said 'the majority'. Others (including me) have said many. Because that's what we experience. 🤷‍♂️

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod

11 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

A quick experiment.

People with meet posts looking to meet today in Wales.

33 single men.

7 couples.

2 TV/TS

Not a single single woman.

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By *unseeker v2Man
11 weeks ago

Cardiff

So more accurate to say 'mostly' men rather than 'most'

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod

11 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"So more accurate to say 'mostly' men rather than 'most'"

Semantics really.

'Most men that message' is an accurate statement. Based on personal experience.

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By *unseeker v2Man
11 weeks ago

Cardiff


"So more accurate to say 'mostly' men rather than 'most'

Semantics really.

'Most men that message' is an accurate statement. Based on personal experience. "

But equally inaccurate based on my personal experience.

Depends how you analyse the data

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod

11 weeks ago

O o O oo


"A quick experiment.

People with meet posts looking to meet today in Wales.

33 single men.

7 couples.

2 TV/TS

Not a single single woman. "

I don't think that proves much to be honest.

Women can normally get meets through their mailbox and may not need to advertise a meet. For single men , for a lot of them it may well be the total opposite so they advertise for meets.

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By *riel13Woman
11 weeks ago

Northampton


"I know... Off topic, sorry

But accurate! 👌👌

The worst assumption people can make is that just because someone is online they're actively looking to meet at that time.

Care to back your "accurate" claim up with any facts or happy to leave it as a sweeping generalisation?

It is in my experience accurate to say that a lot of (predominantly) single men think that if you are online you are up for meeting or chatting at that time.

17 years of both couples and single male profiles tells me the same.

I can probably count on one hand the number of 'want to meet today?' messages I/we've had from couples and single women over the years. From men? An almost daily occurrence on the couples profiles and every other day on this one, despite clearly indicating no interest in rushed meets at all on one and no interest in men at all on this one.

People log in for all manner of reasons. To use the forums. To check mail. To view events and make future plans. To update profiles and add photos. To use the cam rooms. To browse profiles for potential future contact/meets.

Yes, some only ever log in when they're actively looking to meet there and then. But a quick glance at the meets forum, the meets section and local updates will evidence the numbers of men, women and couples saying they want to meet today/tonight/tomorrow.

And there's a pretty evident pattern. 🤷‍♂️You know as well as I do that there are a vast number of male members on fab and to state the majority are messaging to get an instant meet is pure supposition. I could just as easily say based on my local updates that most women are looking to be gangbanged same day.

If you can show me where I or anyone else (other than you in the above comment) has used the word 'majority' it would be useful.

Ariel13 said "Most guys only message when they see that then wonder why they don't get a reply... Also, guys are usually looking to meet when they're online"

Oxford dictionary:

most - greatest in amount, quantity, or degree."

I would still say it's most... With the amount of single men on here there's still room for a massive amount of guys who aren't those guys... Not sure why you're getting so miffed if you're nit who we are talking about tbh... I said most not all

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