FabSwingers.com forum: Thanks but no thanks auto reply

By *umkink OP Man
3 weeks ago

Town centre

If someone messages me and I’m not interested I do not reply to that profile and feel awfully rude for being ignorant.

I take this approach because I have made the mistake of replying previously. Then setting a message filter which would exclude that profile from replying, but the profile is actually eligible to bypass the filter because I’ve previously replied to them.

I’m not proposing changing filter rules but I’m suggesting maybe a new type of reply where you can send a default “thanks but no thanks” kind of message, which closes down any future wink, messages, or friend requests from the profile.

It would be good if that reply could be sent to individuals or in bulk.

I appreciate that you can block a person to achieve that result but I think that’s harsh and/or doesn’t give the other person a closure answer.

I also don’t want to keep setting filters because I don’t really want to stop certain types of profiles messaging, I just want the ones who repeat message when I’m not interested to not be able to continually message.

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By *ittle Miss TinkerbellWoman
3 weeks ago

your head

You can just reply "thanks but no thanks" if you think they need that and then block. It's effectively the same thing as your asking for.

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By *ucka39Man
3 weeks ago

Newcastle

You can also use the drop down menu and use the note as a reference

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By *uliette500Woman
3 weeks ago

Hull

Or maybe people on both sides could stop stressing about whether they are rude or not and just accept site rules that clearly state that no reply = no thanks.

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By *umkink OP Man
3 weeks ago

Town centre

"You can just reply "thanks but no thanks" if you think they need that and then block. It's effectively the same thing as your asking for. "

I recognise this as a solution. I think it’s overkill to block someone. I just want the same level as a message filter not a complete block

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By *umkink OP Man
3 weeks ago

Town centre

"You can also use the drop down menu and use the note as a reference "

Doesn’t really help the other person if I want to say thanks but no thanks and stop them repeat messaging afterwards without having to totally block them

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By *umkink OP Man
3 weeks ago

Town centre

"Or maybe people on both sides could stop stressing about whether they are rude or not and just accept site rules that clearly state that no reply = no thanks. "

I do consider other people’s wellbeing as times are tough for a lot of people these days and I try not to add to the pressure of general life.

But not everyone is blessed with empathy.

If it was as simple and easy for other people to not stress about a situation then I’m sure a standard response of no thanks, don’t message again and don’t stress would be a winning solution for every fab user

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
3 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

A block isn't an insult. It's just a permanent filter.

If you aren't interested in someone it's a handy way of ensuring no future contact.

People complain now about not getting a reply. If there was an auto reply, no doubt they'd complain that they received an impersonal response just via pushing a button.

The outcome is the same whether you simply dont teply, block or use an automated response. You're not interested.

I've never been asked by my local Chinese restaurant that drops a takeaway menu through my letterbox once a month why I've not contacted them to tell them I don't like Chinese food.

You'll be incompatible with 95% of people on the site. Assuming everyone you contact will reply is just setting yourself up for disappointment and frustration.

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By *umkink OP Man
3 weeks ago

Town centre

There’s a perspective that’s being lost here. Not all of us are purely here to message and meet.

I and others know others do too like to see statuses to know what’s going around on in the area. We look at photos that others upload and check out events. Doesn’t mean we want to meet or message those other profiles and we won’t see those profiles and their activity if we block them

Another capability lost when blocking a profile is the ability to see a profile. Now say for example you don’t want to meet a profile for a specific reason like they engage in bareback meets. I’d like to keep an eye on those profiles who are now being verified with that profile so I can add a private note to remind myself not to meet that profile if they messaged me in the future. Really difficult but not impossible to do that when you block people

Also some people tell you one thing and you see easily recognisable photos of them doing that thing they tell you that they don’t do on someone else’s profile photos

I recognise that people use fab for different reasons and I am suggesting an improvement that I recognise others may not ever use. It’s absolutely fine not to agree or use it btw. We can’t all have the same opinion or needs

From experience, when I reply to say a polite “thanks but no thanks” some but not all actually appreciate the reply.

You often see frustration in people’s bio or statuses about no replies. I don’t see why it’s so controversial to add a small simple feature to help mitigate the frustration by people who may use it.

I just want to close down a conversation without blocking people and give the other person closure. Not a fundamental refactoring or resdesign of the site just a small feature.

Unfortunately some people forget when you message and repeat messages because they can bypass a message filter. Some people admittedly are chancers and keep messaging because they can

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By *umkink OP Man
3 weeks ago

Town centre

Adding this point because I’m receiving private replies

Some people think a thanks but no thanks reply is rude, other do not.

We all have varying expectations and opinions which is fine.

If having the ability to auto reply and say thanks but no thanks and stop further replies is rude in your opinion then don’t use that response

In my opinion it’s the same level as seeing a message filter which prevents you from contacting a profile. But we can all agree to disagree

For rhe reasons set out in previous messages, I wouldn’t want to block and see it as an unnecessary step but again er all have different opinions and I’m not proposing taking that option away from anyone either

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
3 weeks ago

O o O oo

Admin had this feature on another site that sent an auto no thanks ( although that did block the user too ) It generated lots of people complaining about getting an auto response so I am not sure it would have the effect you think

Your suggestion is in the right section for Admin to see though

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By *issmorganWoman
3 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

I think some would still moan, if they got an automated reply.

If I say no thanks, I just block the profile now, saves any come back or future messages.

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By *uck-Me-Hard-Scotland-M2MMan
3 weeks ago

Barnhill (outside Dundee)

This topic / debate has raged here and on fabguuys in various threads for ages

Way back in the better days of gaydar, there was a somewhat version of what the OP this message was floating:

If memory serves, it was an 'no thanks' button on a message received which if you clicked sent an auto message along the lines of

"Auto reply: Thanks for your message. I don't think, however, that our profiles match. Good luck with your search"

Further, auto messages did not count towards non-member's daily message limits

Reference the OP message, nice to see that some people still have manners and consider other's feelings. We are all flesh and blood, just with differing - not always compatible - needs.

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By *hetalkingstoveMan
3 weeks ago

London

It's 100% unnecessary.

People who understand that no reply = not interested don't need or want an auto reply.

People who expect replies to their messages aren't going to be satisfied with an auto reply. They will just move from "no reply is rude!" to "auto reply is rude!"

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By *ucka39Man
3 weeks ago

Newcastle

"You can also use the drop down menu and use the note as a reference

Doesn’t really help the other person if I want to say thanks but no thanks and stop them repeat messaging afterwards without having to totally block them "

Common sense normally works if a person doesn't respond and just delete the message

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By *umkink OP Man
3 weeks ago

Town centre

Your suggestion is in the right section for Admin to see though

Thank you for this reply. It is helpful.

If it’s been tried, tested and had a bad response then that’s useful to know

I made a suggestion out of a good and considerate place for other people’s well being

I am not judging people, expecting them to behave in a certain way or have a level of emotional intelligence or understanding a response or lack of. I’m just trying to help a situation

Obviously it’s not something everyone approves of or would use but if it’s not for you, don’t use it. Simple!

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Central

I'd love an automated reply with a block option, that would take no more effort than just deleting the message, for example. Delete, no thanks message sent and block, all in 1

It could reduce the volume of men who are unhappy never getting replies.

I suggest that we could each fill in and store, our no thanks text, as our personal template.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
3 weeks ago

O o O oo

Your suggestion is in the right section for Admin to see though

Thank you for this reply. It is helpful.

If it’s been tried, tested and had a bad response then that’s useful to know

Oh I didn't say the feature had had a ban response, I said people still complained whether they get a reply on auto or no reply.

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By *umkink OP Man
3 weeks ago

Town centre

Oh I didn't say the feature had had a ban response, I said people still complained whether they get a reply on auto or no reply."

I think some people would only be happy if they had sex off every message they sent as if fab was some form of online shopping. But that will never be the case.

You can never please everyone but if the suggestion was something fab could bring in that could appease some people who send message without a reply or receive messages and would to respond in a particular way then I think it would be a good thing

And those who don’t like it and think it’s rude or whatever just don’t use it and do whatever they do now when they receive a message they don’t want to reply to

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By *ustforshow25Couple
3 weeks ago

Leatherhead

Get where you're coming from OP but don't think you already have the tools.

You may think blocking is being rude, but to us if we've politely said that someone isn't what we're looking for (to talk or meet) and they insist on sending further messages, then we don't see blocking them as a bad thing when they couldn't respect our wishes. Those who don't try to push it further don't get blocked. We have interest in seeing status updates or other things from anyone we're not going to be interested in interacting with.

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By *arolandnigelMan
2 weeks ago

Huddersfield

It annoys me that ladies i message dont even reply to them even if its a no thanks.

I dont take offence to a no thanks but it would be just nice to know what the situation is.rant over

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By *ipstick KissesWoman
2 weeks ago

Newry

"It annoys me that ladies i message dont even reply to them even if its a no thanks.

I dont take offence to a no thanks but it would be just nice to know what the situation is.rant over

You do know what the situation is. If they were interested they'd reply

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
2 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"It annoys me that ladies i message dont even reply to them even if its a no thanks.

I dont take offence to a no thanks but it would be just nice to know what the situation is.rant over

You do know what the situation is. If they were interested they'd reply"

💯% this.

How many people reply to food menus dropped through their doors from takeaways if they're not interested?

I mean....everyone needs to eat. So surely they deserve a reply every time one drops through the letterbox? I'm sure the takeaway owners won't mind their time being wasted by people calling just to say 'sorry, I don't like the look of your food'. 🤷‍♂️

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By *al2830Man
2 weeks ago

East mindlands.

I get it. It seems a waste of time going though all the profiles and messaging that one person and yet to be found avoided. It sad really, just be “hey thank you, but good lucky what your looking for” would be best. I’ve had loads of people I’ve messaged and get blanked. I just end up blocking them so I know I won’t have any contact with them in the future and knowing I did my best to make a connection.

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