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"I'd probably put filters on female accounts for the first five days or so, that can be changed after that. There are people watching the new accounts and messaging all of them. It's an onslaught, and it's off-putting." This. I had over 50 messages before I'd even put up a photo or a bio, it was ridiculous. | |||
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"Make it more acceptable for women to enjoy sex with many different partners. " Simply this  | |||
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"I'd probably put filters on female accounts for the first five days or so, that can be changed after that. There are people watching the new accounts and messaging all of them. It's an onslaught, and it's off-putting." I agree, let people dip their toes in, not throw them in the deep end. Have filters set to block, for all new accounts. Explain that they can message out and get replies (possibly), until they remove the filter. That way people learn how to adjust filters and can avoid the barrage. And a tutorial for new members, Covering filters, block button and "delete message = not interested" Maybe a guide to writing a profile. This would improve all new profiles, and would improve the site generally. | |||
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"Make it more acceptable for women to enjoy sex with many different partners. " This !! | |||
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"I'd probably put filters on female accounts for the first five days or so, that can be changed after that. There are people watching the new accounts and messaging all of them. It's an onslaught, and it's off-putting. I agree, let people dip their toes in, not throw them in the deep end. Have filters set to block, for all new accounts. Explain that they can message out and get replies (possibly), until they remove the filter. That way people learn how to adjust filters and can avoid the barrage. And a tutorial for new members, Covering filters, block button and "delete message = not interested" Maybe a guide to writing a profile. This would improve all new profiles, and would improve the site generally." New users already get tips on how to use the site/ filters etc | |||
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"I'd probably put filters on female accounts for the first five days or so, that can be changed after that. There are people watching the new accounts and messaging all of them. It's an onslaught, and it's off-putting." We just used our filters when we joined | |||
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"New users already get tips on how to use the site/ filters etc" Apologies. It's been a while since I joined. Can't remember what it was like. | |||
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"1) remove the New Women feature 2) stop forcing new women who have just encountered the high quantity of poor quality messaging the New Women feature leads to to photo verify (no info is provided about the vetting of the individuals with access to such images, nor the security of the pic collection - and we all know what happened with that Madison thingy US cheating site) 3) stop accepting nudes from men (or anyone) for the purposes of photo verification because it makes men think very early on in their time on this site that sending dick pics is an acceptable thing leading to good outcomes. . " A good well thought out reply .. I do hope someone from Fabs reads and considers this. | |||
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"I'd probably put filters on female accounts for the first five days or so, that can be changed after that. There are people watching the new accounts and messaging all of them. It's an onslaught, and it's off-putting. I agree, let people dip their toes in, not throw them in the deep end. Have filters set to block, for all new accounts. Explain that they can message out and get replies (possibly), until they remove the filter. That way people learn how to adjust filters and can avoid the barrage. And a tutorial for new members, Covering filters, block button and "delete message = not interested" Maybe a guide to writing a profile. This would improve all new profiles, and would improve the site generally." Yes … well said | |||
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"I'd probably put filters on female accounts for the first five days or so, that can be changed after that. There are people watching the new accounts and messaging all of them. It's an onslaught, and it's off-putting." This when I joined as a single. 134 messages in 10 minutes. Most of them really disrespectful. I was in tears and nearly left but wanted to go to an upcoming event. I didn't know about filters. | |||
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"Most women I know have no interest in the swinging lifestyle. They find the whole idea distasteful and seedy. " Because they are trying to impress men who tell them that meanwhile the men themselves are off cheating. | |||
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"Make it more acceptable for women to enjoy sex with many different partners. " Agreed | |||
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But for real, unfortunately there is still a ‘women are sluts / men are studs’ stigma for those who have lots of sexual partners. If security / privacy / filters were improved on the site, more women would join.
Also, swinger clubs could help themselves by being more modern and stylish. The pictures that I’ve seen they all look grotty and seedy. They need to re-think that not everyone wants to be surrounded by red or black pvc plastic upholstery. That would help to attract more women. | |||
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"Well this thread turned into a man hating thread quickly. Which wasn't what the OP was wanting I think. Someone mentioned it.. make it more accessible and acceptable for women to swing and stop making it into a couple only thing!" I don’t think it’s a man hating thread, but it is very difficult to discuss what would bring (or keep) more women on Fab without mentioning the things that *some* men do that make womens experiences unpleasant or offputting. | |||
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"1) remove the New Women feature 2) stop forcing new women who have just encountered the high quantity of poor quality messaging the New Women feature leads to to photo verify (no info is provided about the vetting of the individuals with access to such images, nor the security of the pic collection - and we all know what happened with that Madison thingy US cheating site) 3) stop accepting nudes from men (or anyone) for the purposes of photo verification because it makes men think very early on in their time on this site that sending dick pics is an acceptable thing leading to good outcomes. . " Excellent ideas I often use the "new in past 5 days" when I'm searching locally, to see if there are new members near me and sometimes send a welcome message, but the "new women " feature is just throwing them to the wolves. | |||
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"Require a word count of say 35 words on a first message so proper first messages have to be sent rather than the three word messages that fill up women's inboxes . " Men would just type ..hey xxxxxxxxxxxxxx till the 35 count was reached | |||
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"Well this thread turned into a man hating thread quickly. Which wasn't what the OP was wanting I think. Someone mentioned it.. make it more accessible and acceptable for women to swing and stop making it into a couple only thing!" It is very much acceptable for women to swing it is the men who take the piss of that acceptance. Most women wouldn't be in or on this site if they weren't already interested in the EXACT same thing that brings men here. What must women dislike is the disrespect they receive for wanting the very basic thing men "claim" they are looking for. Just because you like sex doesn't mean you are required to fuck anything with a pulse that says hi looking to fuck? | |||
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"Proper verification. It will stop the multiple account fraternity, and the fakes. Charge for seeing pics, using forums, messaging etc. Lots of the dross will disappear and even out the playing field. C" Lots of other people would disappear too. Plenty of people that want to use this site without making people uncomfortable, can't or won't pay more for it. | |||
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"I think this thread is going well. If I were in Fabs HQ I would be taking notes and calling meetings with my software developers. Improving the site is a win win for all. "It's not the site, but people, it's always people that ruin it and you've left with how things are by the ratio | |||
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"Well this thread turned into a man hating thread quickly. Which wasn't what the OP was wanting I think. Someone mentioned it.. make it more accessible and acceptable for women to swing and stop making it into a couple only thing!" It’s not man hating, it’s reality. As a couple we had messages in double figures within a few minutes, when we first joined. About a quarter of those were more than a couple of sentences. Of those that were, all were quite clearly cut and paste jobs targeting new women/couples. We get that it’s #notallmen but it’s more than enough men that it can, and often does, make the site a very unpleasant place for women. Calling it man hating is denying people’s experience, and it comes across very badly. | |||
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"Also what other sites do people sign up to without checking privacy settings as soon as they set up an account? I always do and sort out any filters that are available to use. Even the most basic of shopping sites I check the 'do you want to receive marketing?' questions. " Oh thank god for that, going by this and other threads I thought we were the only ones who look at the settings of any site we join before we even start to use it and even without the need for a prompt. We did it on this one too. | |||
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"Make it more acceptable for women to enjoy sex with many different partners. Simply this "Spot on | |||
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"1.Make unsolicited dick pics a reportable offence, resulting in banning. You're welcome. " They just set up a new account and the ratio remains the same. | |||
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"1.Make unsolicited dick pics a reportable offence, resulting in banning. You're welcome. They just set up a new account and the ratio remains the same." Wouldn't even the basest of them get tired after 2 or 3 new accounts? Am I gravely understanding the phenomenon? | |||
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"Let's face it couples and women (ok mainly just the women, whether part of a couple or not) are the more valuable commodity.. Do feel those unprepared should have finite access, but they will only set up another account.. 🤷" Reducing people to commodities doesn't sit well with me. Nobody is more 'valuable' than anyone else. The ratios may be uneven, but surely that's a bonus for women and couples looking for men as it gives them significantly more choice and a non issue for those not looking to meet men as they can simply filter them out? And as for the men and couples seeking women? It means they have to up their game, be proactive and put more effort in to their attempts at contact, rather than just create bland profiles and send uninteresting and unattractive photos and messages. The ratios could flip the other way entirely and some would still fail to get interest, simply because they fail to use filters properly, aren't proactive and sit back and wait to be contacted. 🤷♂️ | |||
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"1.Make unsolicited dick pics a reportable offence, resulting in banning. You're welcome. They just set up a new account and the ratio remains the same. Wouldn't even the basest of them get tired after 2 or 3 new accounts? Am I gravely understanding the phenomenon?" No, I doubt it. Whilst I can't prove it I can imagine there are people on here who have over the years set up many accounts. I don't think there is an acceptable solution. But as it doesn't require any verification it's quite easy to circumvent. | |||
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"A man that gets blocked 5 times by different individuals should be banned for a month." Why? Blocks are used for various different reasons by different people. | |||
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"I'd probably put filters on female accounts for the first five days or so, that can be changed after that. There are people watching the new accounts and messaging all of them. It's an onslaught, and it's off-putting." This, no pictures and no text, and you get bombarded with messages by guys lurking waiting on women going online. | |||
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"A man that gets blocked 5 times by different individuals should be banned for a month. Why? Blocks are used for various different reasons by different people." It protects the females from getting abusive messages it would make guys think twice knowing the consequences | |||
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"A man that gets blocked 5 times by different individuals should be banned for a month. Why? Blocks are used for various different reasons by different people. It protects the females from getting abusive messages it would make guys think twice knowing the consequences " But many people block profiles simply because they're not interested in them to prevent them reappearing in future searches. Those men have done nothing wrong. Why should they be penalised? | |||
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"A man that gets blocked 5 times by different individuals should be banned for a month. Why? Blocks are used for various different reasons by different people. It protects the females from getting abusive messages it would make guys think twice knowing the consequences But many people block profiles simply because they're not interested in them to prevent them reappearing in future searches. Those men have done nothing wrong. Why should they be penalised? " Yep, that was exactly our point. The "Report" button would be a better option, so long as it's used honestly. | |||
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