FabSwingers.com forum: Flawed fab

By *azza91 OP Man
44 weeks ago

Northampton

Hello I don't ever usually post because I care what people think and don't always have the courage to speak out. Without highlighting all the issues I'm just going to suggest some changes I think could make it better for all.

1. Limit the amount of messages a person can receive in oneday. Maybe 50, maybe 100. If a message is replied to it gets moved to a different inbox - called conversations. New messages come into inbox and all messages from someone chatting get moved to conversations.

2. If maxed out on inbox, then the person deletes and new messages can come in again.

3. No limit on sending messages based on the paid membership. If someone has an inbox full and wants some thing specific they can just search and message whoever they want.

4. Any messages in inbox read and not replied to will automatically be deleted after a week.

5. Conversational messages also limited so if it becomes dead the person deletes it.

Basically how it is now is just scattergun and women/couples are inundated with messages. They get bored and it's chaos. Any live chats quickly get lost.

Would be glad of your comments. Some stuff might be good and other things might not work. Thanks for reading

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
44 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

What if the first 50 messages someone receives are all 'hi' from pictureless, one line profiles.

How is that fair on the receiver if they clog up their inbox and stop others making contact?

The current system works. Especially if filters are used, profiles are fully completed and a clear idea of preferences stated in profile text.

And the truth is.....most will look at the senders profile long before they contemplate opening a message and if they don't like what they see they'll hit the delete button rather than open it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ealitybitesMan
44 weeks ago

Belfast

People who have hundreds of unread messages in their inbox want to have have those so it wouldn't be fair to take that away from them.

Most women on here don't have inboxes like that because they use the available filters and are more proactive.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *azza91 OP Man
44 weeks ago

Northampton

Hi Obi, thanks for your reply. Agreed that would be a very bad and frustrating thing. The simple solution to that is the filters as you mentioned and with a new system the person can very quickly state they don't want one liners. It also takes 2 seconds to open a hi message and delete it. Or as you said the person can just look at the profile and delete the message without opening it - cue new messages coming in. The issue is women and couples are inundated with all these messages. So I don't agree that the system works fine. Its very basic and simple improvements would be welcomed. I'm sure with a limit of 100 messages they wouldn't be all hi messages. Besides if they want to find some one specific they can search and message someone

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
44 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Hi Obi, thanks for your reply. Agreed that would be a very bad and frustrating thing. The simple solution to that is the filters as you mentioned and with a new system the person can very quickly state they don't want one liners. It also takes 2 seconds to open a hi message and delete it. Or as you said the person can just look at the profile and delete the message without opening it - cue new messages coming in. The issue is women and couples are inundated with all these messages. So I don't agree that the system works fine. Its very basic and simple improvements would be welcomed. I'm sure with a limit of 100 messages they wouldn't be all hi messages. Besides if they want to find some one specific they can search and message someone "

But they're not.

I spent a decade as half a couple on here. We got a couple of messages a week. Even when liokingbfor meets it rarely went over a dozen.

Because we knew how to set our profile up.

Best to let people manage inboxes how they choose rather than limit volumes or force any systems.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *azza91 OP Man
44 weeks ago

Northampton

Really?? They want to be sifting through hundreds of new messages when they can't even keep up with a conversation they have just started. Why do they need hundreds of messages. Why don't they just have less messages and actual conversations before they move to the next person.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ixiekissesWoman
44 weeks ago

Happy place

Simply not the case if appropriate filters are in place. Really this nonsense about 100s of messages has been brought about by men who use it as the reason for no reply.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *azza91 OP Man
44 weeks ago

Northampton

"Simply not the case if appropriate filters are in place. Really this nonsense about 100s of messages has been brought about by men who use it as the reason for no reply. "

I have spoken to lots of women who say their inbox is flooded so I wouldn't say that without it being a fact. However I appreciate that it is not the case for everyone. I'm also highlighting the issue of conversations being started then left, this is not anything to do with not getting replies from initial messages. I think in hindsight I have approached a few things wrongly and apologise for that. However I don't think my suggestions are all bad and should be totally dismissed. Thanks for taking the time to comment

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *assy LassieWoman
44 weeks ago

Lanarkshire

"Simply not the case if appropriate filters are in place. Really this nonsense about 100s of messages has been brought about by men who use it as the reason for no reply.

And some use it as an excuse not to reply when the convo has gone dead.

If people are disconnecting with you it won't always be that the inboxes are flooded.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *azza91 OP Man
44 weeks ago

Northampton

"Simply not the case if appropriate filters are in place. Really this nonsense about 100s of messages has been brought about by men who use it as the reason for no reply.

And some use it as an excuse not to reply when the convo has gone dead.

If people are disconnecting with you it won't always be that the inboxes are flooded. "

Agreed however I'm not a boring person and don't offer dead conversation. Just there has been a trend and I'm pretty sure what I have said is partly the reason. I totally respect all your views and appreciate the comments

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ipstick KissesWoman
44 weeks ago

There and Here

Point 3: I'll have no time to search for what I want, or to carry out conversations already started, because I'll be using the limited time I spend here doing Fabmin which has been imposed upon me, despite me having no control (filters aside) on who messages me or the content of those messages.

Sounds like a solid idea

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ealitybitesMan
44 weeks ago

Belfast

"Really?? They want to be sifting through hundreds of new messages when they can't even keep up with a conversation they have just started. Why do they need hundreds of messages. Why don't they just have less messages and actual conversations before they move to the next person."

If that is a response to my comment I didn't say anything about sifting through messages.

As others have already said it's a myth that all women get hundreds of messages but of those that do some use that little yellow box as a confirmation of their standing on fab and being able to show how popular they are.

There have been numerous unread message forum threads that have turned into dick measuring competitions.

700? That's nothing I've got 900.....and so on.

You will find op that many of those women who have told you about their bulging inboxes are very proud and protective of those unread messages and have no intention of ever sifting through them.

The vast majority of women and couples don't have that issue.

I'm also part of a couple on here and in the 2 years since we set up our profile we have had less than 40 messages in total so it's not something we have to worry too much about.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ustBoWoman
44 weeks ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

Fab provides plenty of ways to control messages. There is no need for a load more than would be of no benefit to anyone.

Women can use filters, I do and if helps massively .

Like others have said if they don't want to get a load of messages they won't.

As for conversations getting lost, no they don't,if someone wants to continue to chat they will. If they don't then they have moved on. And they can become friends and can use that inbox section anyhow so they never get lost.

Solutions are already there for the amount of messages etc people receive. Limiting the amount they can receive will make zero difference to those messaging. It's quite simple if someone wants to reply they will. Quite often women will look at a profile before they even open a message if it doesn't appeal I know I will just delete it. And I don't get many messages as my filters are tighter than a ducks ass.

Using the amount of messages as an excuse for not answering not getting replies is just that an excuse.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
44 weeks ago

O o O oo

https://www.fabswingers.com/my/filters

All of us can use the message filters to limit any mails we get.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
44 weeks ago

O o O oo

Agreed however I'm not a boring person and don't offer dead conversation. Just there has been a trend and I'm pretty sure what I have said is partly the reason.

I don't agree. What one person thinks is a good conversation another will think is boring. If people are interested in your conversation they would still find you even if they have to wade through other mails to find you. Changing how people receive mails won't alter that

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *azza91 OP Man
44 weeks ago

Northampton

I take on board your messages and can see the changes are not required with the tools already in place. Good to get peoples views and opinions. Hope I haven't come across as rude and if I have then I apologise for that

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *viatrixWoman
44 weeks ago

Redhill

Many men think that they don’t get a reply because women/couples are inundated by messages.

Believe me, if people are interested, they WILL reply.

I wouldn’t want any of those changes. I want to be in control if my own inbox thanks.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread

Flawed fab - feedback welcome