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"Cause most will just lie, seen plenty have safe sex ticked but then comment on bareback gangbang posts" I agree that many lie about it but surely it makes sense to make the searches as precise as possible even when it's for less popular things, watersports would be a good example of this | |||
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"Why doesn't fabswingers have a box you can tick or search for others looking for bareback? You can on fabguys so why not here? I understand it isn't for the majority but even so, surely it's good for members to narrow their search down as much as possible. Help us out please fabswingers "just do not tick the safe sex box,  | |||
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"Why doesn't fabswingers have a box you can tick or search for others looking for bareback? You can on fabguys so why not here? I understand it isn't for the majority but even so, surely it's good for members to narrow their search down as much as possible. Help us out please fabswingers just do not tick the safe sex box, "Yes but how do you find others into the same thing via the search function | |||
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"I tend to use the private note function to comment on those who play bareback so I can avoid for the future" I also use the private note function, but for the opposite reason.  | |||
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"We need to remember that the 'interested in' list isn't an 'I will do this with everyone' list."  | |||
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"We need to remember that the 'interested in' list isn't an 'I will do this with everyone' list." | |||
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"Anyone who doesnt tick the safe sex box is a bare backer to me. I also put private notes on accounts that I know bareback or been with barebackers so I can avoid them. Socially would be fine but never sexually." You can never really tell . | |||
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"Cause most will just lie, seen plenty have safe sex ticked but then comment on bareback gangbang posts" Lost lie about age but that's still an option, so not really a great point. | |||
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"Cause most will just lie, seen plenty have safe sex ticked but then comment on bareback gangbang posts" You're assuming the op is looking to exclude. Which is not the case according to profile. | |||
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"Why doesn't fabswingers have a box you can tick or search for others looking for bareback? You can on fabguys so why not here? I understand it isn't for the majority but even so, surely it's good for members to narrow their search down as much as possible. Help us out please fabswingers just do not tick the safe sex box, " | |||
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"Why doesn't fabswingers have a box you can tick or search for others looking for bareback? You can on fabguys so why not here? I understand it isn't for the majority but even so, surely it's good for members to narrow their search down as much as possible. Help us out please fabswingers "Love this | |||
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"Bareback is like a game of Russian Roulette " Apart from being nothing like it at all you mean | |||
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"Bareback is like a game of Russian Roulette Apart from being nothing like it at all you mean" Similar odds .... | |||
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"Anyone who doesnt tick the safe sex box is a bare backer to me. I also put private notes on accounts that I know bareback or been with barebackers so I can avoid them. Socially would be fine but never sexually." You see there's the problem People who openly admit to preferring bareback aren't the issue it's those that hide behind the safe sex tick box but then beg to play bare that you need to be wary of (they'll also likely hide any veris) By having the option of ticking bare you could exclude those ticking safe from your searches or being able to messsge you & vice versa I honestly think fab are missing a trick those us wanting bare should not be able to send or receive messages from people ticking safe & it should be like the age thing, can't be changed once you've picked your camp Obviously that stops social messaging but this is contentious subject abd is they only way to keep those who genuinely want safe play safe from those who'll jump between both camps | |||
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"Anyone who doesnt tick the safe sex box is a bare backer to me. I also put private notes on accounts that I know bareback or been with barebackers so I can avoid them. Socially would be fine but never sexually. You see there's the problem People who openly admit to preferring bareback aren't the issue it's those that hide behind the safe sex tick box but then beg to play bare that you need to be wary of (they'll also likely hide any veris) By having the option of ticking bare you could exclude those ticking safe from your searches or being able to messsge you & vice versa I honestly think fab are missing a trick those us wanting bare should not be able to send or receive messages from people ticking safe & it should be like the age thing, can't be changed once you've picked your camp Obviously that stops social messaging but this is contentious subject abd is they only way to keep those who genuinely want safe play safe from those who'll jump between both camps " Got to disagree with you on this. People’s kinks change over time, some would play bare on certain circumstances but with condoms in another. I don’t think it’s as black and white as to say you’ve got to choose a safe or bare box and aren’t able to communicate with those from the other nor change your selection. It’s really like the smoking tick box, if there was a bare play one people could tick it and when searching it could be filtered | |||
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"Cause most will just lie, seen plenty have safe sex ticked but then comment on bareback gangbang posts" Ticking that box isn't necessarily a lie, if people choose to play both "safe" and/or "bare". If the option was safe only, fair enough. | |||
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"The odds on catching VD during unprotected sex are 6-1. The same odds as a game of Russian Roulette where one round is in the chamber and the rest are empty " In Russian Roulette you have a 100% chance the gun will go off at somepoint unless the game is stopped prematurely. In theory a person can have unprotected sex with someone different every day of thier life and still not contract anything. So people really do need to stop comparing unprotected sex with Russian Roulette. | |||
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"Arent the odds in russian roulette 5 to 1 ? My betting knowledge is shite so excuse me if i have it wrong" Tom is not a maths man but yes it's probably 5-1 for Russian Roulette and 6-1 for Bareback. Bareback marginally safer than Russian Roulette | |||
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"Why doesn't fabswingers have a box you can tick or search for others looking for bareback? You can on fabguys so why not here? I understand it isn't for the majority but even so, surely it's good for members to narrow their search down as much as possible. Help us out please fabswingers "In a previous similar thread, I believe there was a response which indicated such an option was not provided because it could be regarded as 'promoting' an unsafe sexual practice - the site's official policy is "Fab recommends: Get Educated, Get Tested and Play Safe", as stated in the 'Sexual Health' link in the page footer... | |||
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"We need to remember that the 'interested in' list isn't an 'I will do this with everyone' list." Exactly this! We’ll play bare in certain situations and scenarios. But not all the time, every time with anyone. We don’t have safe sex ticked because of this because we don’t want to seem misleading - but that doesn’t mean to say we won’t have safe sex. It’s also surprising the amount of people who have safe sex ticked and don’t even notice we haven’t got safe sex ticked ourselves. Side note - we think the safe sex option is misleading anyway - there are lots of interpretations of what is safe sex - and many of those interpretations aren’t safe at all. | |||
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"Bareback is like a game of Russian Roulette Apart from being nothing like it at all you mean" Really? That’s a bizarre comment in the face of an astute observation | |||
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"The odds on catching VD during unprotected sex are 6-1. The same odds as a game of Russian Roulette where one round is in the chamber and the rest are empty In Russian Roulette you have a 100% chance the gun will go off at somepoint unless the game is stopped prematurely. In theory a person can have unprotected sex with someone different every day of thier life and still not contract anything. So people really do need to stop comparing unprotected sex with Russian Roulette." It’s a good job you never considered writing poetry or other literary arts lol | |||
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"The odds on catching VD during unprotected sex are 6-1. The same odds as a game of Russian Roulette where one round is in the chamber and the rest are empty " 6-1?? 
Could you quote your source for the statistics?
Taking into account the immeasurable variables? | |||
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"Much VD cannot be cured and is a life sentence ... Every time you play Russian Roulette you hope and prey that the chamber is empty... Every time you have unprotected sex you are not only having sex with them but all the people ta they have had sex with.. Tom wears two condoms for safety always in case one breaks and he is as Happy as Larry Stay Safe and Enjoy is Toms message " If you also think that simply throwing a condom on (or even two in your case) is the be all and end all to safe sex, then that’s more dangerous in our opinion, as are the countless others who think the same. | |||
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"Much VD cannot be cured and is a life sentence ... Every time you play Russian Roulette you hope and prey that the chamber is empty... Every time you have unprotected sex you are not only having sex with them but all the people ta they have had sex with.. Tom wears two condoms for safety always in case one breaks and he is as Happy as Larry Stay Safe and Enjoy is Toms message If you also think that simply throwing a condom on (or even two in your case) is the be all and end all to safe sex, then that’s more dangerous in our opinion, as are the countless others who think the same. " Please educate Tom. Wearing condoms is dangerous ? | |||
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"Much VD cannot be cured and is a life sentence ... Every time you play Russian Roulette you hope and prey that the chamber is empty... Every time you have unprotected sex you are not only having sex with them but all the people ta they have had sex with.. Tom wears two condoms for safety always in case one breaks and he is as Happy as Larry Stay Safe and Enjoy is Toms message If you also think that simply throwing a condom on (or even two in your case) is the be all and end all to safe sex, then that’s more dangerous in our opinion, as are the countless others who think the same. Please educate Tom. Wearing condoms is dangerous ? " The attitude that that action alone immediately makes you completely safe - yes And it’s an attitude that many have - there’s more to ensure you have safe sex than simply putting a condom on And we’d argue responsible barebackers can be much safer than irresponsible condom wearers | |||
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"Much VD cannot be cured and is a life sentence ... Every time you play Russian Roulette you hope and prey that the chamber is empty... Every time you have unprotected sex you are not only having sex with them but all the people ta they have had sex with.. Tom wears two condoms for safety always in case one breaks and he is as Happy as Larry Stay Safe and Enjoy is Toms message If you also think that simply throwing a condom on (or even two in your case) is the be all and end all to safe sex, then that’s more dangerous in our opinion, as are the countless others who think the same. Please educate Tom. Wearing condoms is dangerous ? The attitude that that action alone immediately makes you completely safe - yes And it’s an attitude that many have - there’s more to ensure you have safe sex than simply putting a condom on And we’d argue responsible barebackers can be much safer than irresponsible condom wearers " Responsible barebackers ? Prey tell what that involves.. ? | |||
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"Much VD cannot be cured and is a life sentence ... Every time you play Russian Roulette you hope and prey that the chamber is empty... Every time you have unprotected sex you are not only having sex with them but all the people ta they have had sex with.. Tom wears two condoms for safety always in case one breaks and he is as Happy as Larry Stay Safe and Enjoy is Toms message If you also think that simply throwing a condom on (or even two in your case) is the be all and end all to safe sex, then that’s more dangerous in our opinion, as are the countless others who think the same. Please educate Tom. Wearing condoms is dangerous ? The attitude that that action alone immediately makes you completely safe - yes And it’s an attitude that many have - there’s more to ensure you have safe sex than simply putting a condom on And we’d argue responsible barebackers can be much safer than irresponsible condom wearers Responsible barebackers ? Prey tell what that involves.. ? " Given your nuance for made up statistics, it would be beyond your comprehension | |||
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"Much VD cannot be cured and is a life sentence ... Every time you play Russian Roulette you hope and prey that the chamber is empty... Every time you have unprotected sex you are not only having sex with them but all the people ta they have had sex with.. Tom wears two condoms for safety always in case one breaks and he is as Happy as Larry Stay Safe and Enjoy is Toms message If you also think that simply throwing a condom on (or even two in your case) is the be all and end all to safe sex, then that’s more dangerous in our opinion, as are the countless others who think the same. Please educate Tom. Wearing condoms is dangerous ? The attitude that that action alone immediately makes you completely safe - yes And it’s an attitude that many have - there’s more to ensure you have safe sex than simply putting a condom on And we’d argue responsible barebackers can be much safer than irresponsible condom wearers Responsible barebackers ? Prey tell what that involves.. ? Given your nuance for made up statistics, it would be beyond your comprehension " Translated into.. I don't understand or care about the risks... | |||
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"Much VD cannot be cured and is a life sentence ... Every time you play Russian Roulette you hope and prey that the chamber is empty... Every time you have unprotected sex you are not only having sex with them but all the people ta they have had sex with.. Tom wears two condoms for safety always in case one breaks and he is as Happy as Larry Stay Safe and Enjoy is Toms message If you also think that simply throwing a condom on (or even two in your case) is the be all and end all to safe sex, then that’s more dangerous in our opinion, as are the countless others who think the same. Please educate Tom. Wearing condoms is dangerous ? The attitude that that action alone immediately makes you completely safe - yes And it’s an attitude that many have - there’s more to ensure you have safe sex than simply putting a condom on And we’d argue responsible barebackers can be much safer than irresponsible condom wearers Responsible barebackers ? Prey tell what that involves.. ? Given your nuance for made up statistics, it would be beyond your comprehension Translated into.. I don't understand or care about the risks..." I see your translation skills are as well founded as your statistics  | |||
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"Much VD cannot be cured and is a life sentence ... Every time you play Russian Roulette you hope and prey that the chamber is empty... Every time you have unprotected sex you are not only having sex with them but all the people ta they have had sex with.. Tom wears two condoms for safety always in case one breaks and he is as Happy as Larry Stay Safe and Enjoy is Toms message If you also think that simply throwing a condom on (or even two in your case) is the be all and end all to safe sex, then that’s more dangerous in our opinion, as are the countless others who think the same. Please educate Tom. Wearing condoms is dangerous ? The attitude that that action alone immediately makes you completely safe - yes And it’s an attitude that many have - there’s more to ensure you have safe sex than simply putting a condom on And we’d argue responsible barebackers can be much safer than irresponsible condom wearers Responsible barebackers ? Prey tell what that involves.. ? Given your nuance for made up statistics, it would be beyond your comprehension Translated into.. I don't understand or care about the risks... I see your translation skills are as well founded as your statistics "Good luck ! You might need it | |||
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"Much VD cannot be cured and is a life sentence ... Every time you play Russian Roulette you hope and prey that the chamber is empty... Every time you have unprotected sex you are not only having sex with them but all the people ta they have had sex with.. Tom wears two condoms for safety always in case one breaks and he is as Happy as Larry Stay Safe and Enjoy is Toms message If you also think that simply throwing a condom on (or even two in your case) is the be all and end all to safe sex, then that’s more dangerous in our opinion, as are the countless others who think the same. Please educate Tom. Wearing condoms is dangerous ? The attitude that that action alone immediately makes you completely safe - yes And it’s an attitude that many have - there’s more to ensure you have safe sex than simply putting a condom on And we’d argue responsible barebackers can be much safer than irresponsible condom wearers Responsible barebackers ? Prey tell what that involves.. ? Given your nuance for made up statistics, it would be beyond your comprehension Translated into.. I don't understand or care about the risks... I see your translation skills are as well founded as your statistics
Good luck ! You might need it "Thank you, and to you, your need for it is no less than ours | |||
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"Much VD cannot be cured and is a life sentence ... Every time you play Russian Roulette you hope and prey that the chamber is empty... Every time you have unprotected sex you are not only having sex with them but all the people ta they have had sex with.. Tom wears two condoms for safety always in case one breaks and he is as Happy as Larry Stay Safe and Enjoy is Toms message If you also think that simply throwing a condom on (or even two in your case) is the be all and end all to safe sex, then that’s more dangerous in our opinion, as are the countless others who think the same. " | |||
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"Much VD cannot be cured and is a life sentence ... Every time you play Russian Roulette you hope and prey that the chamber is empty... Every time you have unprotected sex you are not only having sex with them but all the people ta they have had sex with.. Tom wears two condoms for safety always in case one breaks and he is as Happy as Larry Stay Safe and Enjoy is Toms message If you also think that simply throwing a condom on (or even two in your case) is the be all and end all to safe sex, then that’s more dangerous in our opinion, as are the countless others who think the same. " | |||
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"Much VD cannot be cured and is a life sentence ... Every time you play Russian Roulette you hope and prey that the chamber is empty... Every time you have unprotected sex you are not only having sex with them but all the people ta they have had sex with.. Tom wears two condoms for safety always in case one breaks and he is as Happy as Larry Stay Safe and Enjoy is Toms message If you also think that simply throwing a condom on (or even two in your case) is the be all and end all to safe sex, then that’s more dangerous in our opinion, as are the countless others who think the same. Please educate Tom. Wearing condoms is dangerous ? The attitude that that action alone immediately makes you completely safe - yes And it’s an attitude that many have - there’s more to ensure you have safe sex than simply putting a condom on And we’d argue responsible barebackers can be much safer than irresponsible condom wearers Responsible barebackers ? Prey tell what that involves.. ? Given your nuance for made up statistics, it would be beyond your comprehension Translated into.. I don't understand or care about the risks... I see your translation skills are as well founded as your statistics
Good luck ! You might need it "Does Tom think it's possible that other people might have a sensible way of estimating and managing risk for themselves? Statements like 'Every time you have unprotected sex you are not only having sex with them but all the people ta they have had sex with..' just show that some people haven't progressed their thinking since the last century. The risks, precautions and options have all changed massively since the only option was a condom. Condoms are a good option for safety, it doesn't mean that those who believe they're not the only option are satan worshippers! | |||
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"Arent the odds in russian roulette 5 to 1 ? My betting knowledge is shite so excuse me if i have it wrong Tom is not a maths man but yes it's probably 5-1 for Russian Roulette and 6-1 for Bareback. Bareback marginally safer than Russian Roulette " I have never played Russian roulette but my understanding is that the loaded chamber tends to fall to the bottom when spun so the chance of it going off is a bit lower but its undoubtably risky | |||
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"Much VD cannot be cured and is a life sentence ... Every time you play Russian Roulette you hope and prey that the chamber is empty... Every time you have unprotected sex you are not only having sex with them but all the people ta they have had sex with.. Tom wears two condoms for safety always in case one breaks and he is as Happy as Larry Stay Safe and Enjoy is Toms message If you also think that simply throwing a condom on (or even two in your case) is the be all and end all to safe sex, then that’s more dangerous in our opinion, as are the countless others who think the same. Please educate Tom. Wearing condoms is dangerous ? The attitude that that action alone immediately makes you completely safe - yes And it’s an attitude that many have - there’s more to ensure you have safe sex than simply putting a condom on And we’d argue responsible barebackers can be much safer than irresponsible condom wearers Responsible barebackers ? Prey tell what that involves.. ? Given your nuance for made up statistics, it would be beyond your comprehension Translated into.. I don't understand or care about the risks... I see your translation skills are as well founded as your statistics
Good luck ! You might need it
Does Tom think it's possible that other people might have a sensible way of estimating and managing risk for themselves? Statements like 'Every time you have unprotected sex you are not only having sex with them but all the people ta they have had sex with..' just show that some people haven't progressed their thinking since the last century. The risks, precautions and options have all changed massively since the only option was a condom. Condoms are a good option for safety, it doesn't mean that those who believe they're not the only option are satan worshippers! "This
Thanks for having the patience to explain the basic concept of human risk assessment and risk mitigation, I didn’t really have the patience to do so here - especially when it’s clear that some people are blinkered and mono thinkers.
You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it think… | |||
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"those who are careful barebackers do tell the concept of this, im not judging just asking, maybe educate condom people a bit more than just ridiculing them, like a said am not judging anyone just curious " I don’t think anyone has been ridiculed - what has been ridiculed is the concept (which is held by many) that simply putting a condom on immediately makes one safe, when, in fact there are many many more processes than just that to ensure safe sex, and that many barebackers follow more risk assessment and mitigation than your average “safe Sexers” because they exclude condoms. The concept of simply putting a condom seems to have lulled many people into a. False sense of security, a false sense of security that “responsible” barebackers don’t have. What I hate is the generalisation of people / and I’m simply trying to explain that a “barebackers” can be safer than a “safe sex” practicer. I’m probably not explaining it very well though  | |||
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"I've had a message this morning from someone saying they want to fuck me bare in Pipeworks (a gay sauna in Glasgow). I do not know this person. Please can someone explain how this scenario could be made safer than if we used a condom? What additional precautions could we take? Not provoking, just trying to learn. X " Based on that alone you couldn’t | |||
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"I've had a message this morning from someone saying they want to fuck me bare in Pipeworks (a gay sauna in Glasgow). I do not know this person. Please can someone explain how this scenario could be made safer than if we used a condom? What additional precautions could we take? careful choice of lube might reduce risks a little but use of a condom is always your choice Not provoking, just trying to learn. X " | |||
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" I don’t think anyone has been ridiculed - what has been ridiculed is the concept (which is held by many) that simply putting a condom on immediately makes one safe, when, in fact there are many many more processes than just that to ensure safe sex, and that many barebackers follow more risk assessment and mitigation than your average “safe Sexers” because they exclude condoms. The concept of simply putting a condom seems to have lulled many people into a. False sense of security, a false sense of security that “responsible” barebackers don’t have. What I hate is the generalisation of people / and I’m simply trying to explain that a “barebackers” can be safer than a “safe sex” practicer. I’m probably not explaining it very well though "They kinda were instead of giving answers to what people were asking they were called mono thinkers etc | |||
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"My last sex meet used a condom, unfortunately his cock shriveled up whilst he put it on, he got all upset and bought some Viagra..... I like bare myself..." when I was young I had no problem with condoms but now i am old it can cause me to lose erection, its best to take viagra well in advance of a meet | |||
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