FabSwingers.com forum: Be more like Bumble?

By *art123 OP Man
over a year ago

Stoke

Is there any point in single guys being able to send first messages?

I’d say 95% of my (respectful) sent messages are ignored/deleted, it just leads to frustration.

Maybe it’s time for single guys just to be able to receive first messages, also freeing up ladies inboxes?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Women still wouldn't message most men.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Women still wouldn't message most men.

Strong arguement there, no response possible

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lan157Man
over a year ago

a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex

Maybe a better idea is a small ( say 5) daily limit of "first messages" that can be sent each day.This might improve quality of first messages and eliminate the single line messages that fill up inboxes.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *Bacchus.Man
over a year ago

Torquay

Maybe an algorithm that detects a lazy first message and flags the sender if they are prolific, prompting a warning system to encourage more effort?

Probably a bit convoluted, I don't know.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe a better idea is a small ( say 5) daily limit of "first messages" that can be sent each day.This might improve quality of first messages and eliminate the single line messages that fill up inboxes. "

This is a really good idea

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *onderstuff73mMan
over a year ago

Brum

Let’s not assume that it’s the quality of the message that causes the lack of response!

It could be a number of reasons.

The female may not be looking to enter into a conversation.

The female may not find the incoming message/male to her taste.

The female may have received 1892 other ‘first’ messages that day.

The female may be tired and can’t be bothered to reply.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uicypeaches77Couple
over a year ago

Torquay

This is a really good idea "

It is...a great idea

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ungry CatCouple
over a year ago

Belfast

Let’s not assume that it’s the quality of the message that causes the lack of response!

It could be a number of reasons.

The female may not be looking to enter into a conversation.

The female may not find the incoming message/male to her taste.

The female may have received 1892 other ‘first’ messages that day.

The female may be tired and can’t be bothered to reply.

Or maybe it's as simple as someone random refers to a woman behind the profile as a "female" and she's just not feeling that they're on a same level of human interaction

Missus

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ockosaurusMan
over a year ago

Warwick

Or to make it even simpler, and not gender based, why not have an option to only allow opening messages from people they have interacted with?

That way anyone can ensure their inbox is only filled with messages from people they have previously messaged or winked.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How about you can only exchange messages if both parties have winked at each other. That way the green light to converse is given.

And if you try to wink again it tells you you've already tried and can't do so again.

Upside is no unwanted messages and a reduced inbox for popular people or couples.

Downside, those who want attention won't get anywhere near as much lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ockosaurusMan
over a year ago

Warwick

"How about you can only exchange messages if both parties have winked at each other. That way the green light to converse is given.

And if you try to wink again it tells you you've already tried and can't do so again.

Upside is no unwanted messages and a reduced inbox for popular people or couples.

Downside, those who want attention won't get anywhere near as much lol"

Make it optional.

Then those that want attention still can.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree.

Who would be interested in having this option?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Fab is successful and loved because of the huge selection of people here. Restrictions would likely lead to some people not getting what they want, eg the ability to make contact with specific people and this could cause new user drop off, due to frustration.

New users have a key focus - to view and make contact with people. Restrict that and unintended consequences may follow.

I'd be more inclined to have the site suggest writers to create better messages.

Men not doing well here will often have poor profiles or are less attractive to the others here.

People have to learn how to do better, which means that they will probably make mistakes along the way. A steep learning curve, by having fewer restrictions, should facilitate this process.

Helping people to create realistic expectations is vitally important though.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A simple "No" would have sufficed lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds

"Is there any point in single guys being able to send first messages?

I’d say 95% of my (respectful) sent messages are ignored/deleted, it just leads to frustration.

Maybe it’s time for single guys just to be able to receive first messages, also freeing up ladies inboxes?"

You have this option already... I.E. don't send any..or am I missing something ?

Ladies (all profiles) have options as to the messages they receive, message filters and apply as necessary.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Weird.

This is a site for people to meet people. Restricting messages and only being able to talk to people you've talked to before is the opposite of that.

People can reject me and my messages for any reason they choose. They're just not attracted to me for example.

This means if the 5 we send off get rejected, we get no more through no fault of our own?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ustme34Man
over a year ago

Bingley

"Is there any point in single guys being able to send first messages?

I’d say 95% of my (respectful) sent messages are ignored/deleted, it just leads to frustration.

Maybe it’s time for single guys just to be able to receive first messages, also freeing up ladies inboxes?"

where would this leave couples... only the female half could message ?

What about trans or cross dressers... would it depend on how they were dressed . How they percieve themselves. How others percieve them?

What about gay men... can they just never message each other ?

What about forums... can men start a thread ?

I do t know where you want this to end OP lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *udewhennudeMan
over a year ago

newport

Why are people forever trying to change things. Fab works perfectly ok as it is, if people use the options / filters available to them. Restrictions such as suggested will results in more fake profiles to get around the restrictions, resulting in more restrictions to deal with the fakes, then we go around in circles trying to address all the issues arising until Fab becomes so unpopular to its core users and people leave in droves. Don’t try and fix it, if it’s not broke.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not a bad idea, though maybe a limit of five first time messages, then they can still easily converse with those they already do

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uckoldDesiresMan
over a year ago

Dublin

"Why are people forever trying to change things. Fab works perfectly ok as it is, if people use the options / filters available to them. Restrictions such as suggested will results in more fake profiles to get around the restrictions, resulting in more restrictions to deal with the fakes, then we go around in circles trying to address all the issues arising until Fab becomes so unpopular to its core users and people leave in droves. Don’t try and fix it, if it’s not broke."

Spoken like a true 65yr old.

Change is what makes the world go round.

Embrace it in all instances or you will miss out on so much in your remaining years

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *udewhennudeMan
over a year ago

newport

Spoken like a true 65yr old.

Change is what makes the world go round.

Embrace it in all instances or you will miss out on so much in your remaining years"

Age has nothing to do with it, I could write a book on it. I’ve seen it so many times, if you want to ruin fab go ahead and introduce needless restrictions.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ackfortherealthingWoman
over a year ago

southampton

Exactly that from the extremely sexy man

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *andBCouple
over a year ago

next door

Ive always said it... sex (9/10) is always on the womens terms, as and when she wants it and who with.

With that said I feel men have more power/control when it comes to relationships (9/10).

Easier for women to get sex but man are harder to tie down. IMO

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ockosaurusMan
over a year ago

Warwick

Spoken like a true 65yr old.

Change is what makes the world go round.

Embrace it in all instances or you will miss out on so much in your remaining years

Age has nothing to do with it, I could write a book on it. I’ve seen it so many times, if you want to ruin fab go ahead and introduce needless restrictions. "

If it's optional (which it could easily be), it's not a restriction its a choice.

Choice is good.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find it's the same on every dating type app, people just don't talk anymore. Sad times.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill

Never. I hated Bumble. Love Fab!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nimal007Couple
over a year ago

Manchester

"Maybe an algorithm that detects a lazy first message and flags the sender if they are prolific, prompting a warning system to encourage more effort?

Probably a bit convoluted, I don't know."

That would be easy enough to do with just a char counter to ensure there is enough text to make it a meaning full message....anything more than that would be very complicated as you would have to get AI involved

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nimal007Couple
over a year ago

Manchester

"Is there any point in single guys being able to send first messages?

I’d say 95% of my (respectful) sent messages are ignored/deleted, it just leads to frustration.

Maybe it’s time for single guys just to be able to receive first messages, also freeing up ladies inboxes?"

Have never used Bumble. Do the guys register there interest like on tinder? so like a match that the coupe or female get notified about then they can decide if they want to message back.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love bumble for this reason. It’s so much easier, no aggro, no nasty messages. It works!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ittall2020Man
over a year ago

Norwich

Something is needed. So many new female members get put off entirely by the volume of messages they receive. You see status posts "I've been on here 2 hours and had 150 messages, can't keep up" (or worse) then they leave. Maybe their profiles should just be hidden to anyone more than x miles away for a couple of weeks.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *redy81Man
over a year ago

London

Just had a convo on another thread about exactly the same thing. Something is definitely needed, the current level of irrelevant messages make girls tired of fab, while the high amount of carefully written but never opened emails makes guys frustrated.

Idea #1:

What about if anyone could set preferences in private (which doesn't need to be shown as it can come through offensive) like body type, ethnicity, size, etc? And they could block everyone outside of those preferences from messaging them, just as it already exists with age and gender. If you are blocked, the page doesn't need to tell you what is the "problem" with you, it's enough to say that "sorry, this person is looking for someone else, you can't message them". It could also make those quite rude profile bios unnecessary, which say "DON'T MESSAGE ME if you are black/white/Asian, fat/bald etc... Because right now these kinds of profiles are quite common...

Idea #2:

Some sort of initial matchmaking before being allowed to message each other.

The wink option could be used for this, but the way it works now, it's useless.

Let's see my example. Privacy is important for me, so I would not post a public face photo here. But if I find someone who attracts me, I understand that showing my face is the very minimum if I want to start a chat.

What if I could send up to 3 photos with a wink? As photos are categorised when uploaded and manually verified by the admins, you can easily set only face and "page 3 material" photos allowed to be sent with a wink. So no unsolicited dick pics.

Maybe a really short message, 150 characters, or something like that.

It could offer quick filtering for girls, to see who are the ones they fancy and wish to proceed to a chat.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Something is needed. So many new female members get put off entirely by the volume of messages they receive. You see status posts "I've been on here 2 hours and had 150 messages, can't keep up" (or worse) then they leave. Maybe their profiles should just be hidden to anyone more than x miles away for a couple of weeks. "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Maybe if their was a limit anything less than number of words.this would cut out the small talk like wuu2 and so on.

Wouldn't be sent

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ohnywrongunMan
over a year ago

Epping

I like it just the way it is.

Don't see any reason for change, it works perfectly well,.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

"Maybe an algorithm that detects a lazy first message and flags the sender"

Will it be like the algorithm that thinks a small green fruit and abrading something are the same illegal act?

That would be fun

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eepshaftRyanMan
over a year ago

Southampton

Like this, but an increase of limit if the person who’s messaged leaves a verification after a successful meet. ( not webcam)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ah, just leave it be. Its annoying to have to go through so many messages but people tell you a lot about themselves and their approach to fab in their first message and that makes it easier to know who Im more likely to enjoy spending time with.

If the people who would normally ignore my profile and send a rubbish message are forced/incentivised to write better ones then it just makes it harder for me to filter them out.

I keep my single guy filters up most of the time anyway. Makes it all much more managable!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

That would only work if you all had face pics on view. Which is never going to happen on here.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *enelope2UWoman
over a year ago

Fife

Let’s not assume that it’s the quality of the message that causes the lack of response!

It could be a number of reasons.

The female may not be looking to enter into a conversation.

The female may not find the incoming message/male to her taste.

The female may have received 1892 other ‘first’ messages that day.

The female may be tired and can’t be bothered to reply.

Or maybe it's as simple as someone random refers to a woman behind the profile as a "female" and she's just not feeling that they're on a same level of human interaction

Missus "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How about you can only exchange messages if both parties have winked at each other. That way the green light to converse is given.

And if you try to wink again it tells you you've already tried and can't do so again.

Upside is no unwanted messages and a reduced inbox for popular people or couples.

Downside, those who want attention won't get anywhere near as much lol"

Simple Acid test would help.. Best idea yet.

Weeds out the issues we have Atm.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Spoken like a true 65yr old.

Change is what makes the world go round.

Embrace it in all instances or you will miss out on so much in your remaining years"

No, this is why it's called a revolution, because it's the same old shit just going round and round.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the way to solve this and many other problems is to only allow photo verified members to contact others. Or set a time limit up so you have to be registered for at least a week before you can send messages.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tbh I rarely message first lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it is a good idea if women made the first move, as I have read in theses forums there's an issue with full mail boxes or rude messages from men etc.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP - no.

Don't keep a record personally on how many respond and how many do not. Seems like the unhealthy part is going on inside your noggin'. There are far too many people, especially men who send out crap messages and have crap profiles. We block them most of the time on receipt though sometimes we waste their time and other times we point out what we don't like and yet they continue as though we are going to change our minds - baffling.

Make yourself stand out and put in a bit more effort than a message if you want to meet people. It really is as simple as that.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thats could be a good idea..

I have wanked you..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread