FabSwingers.com forum: Frustrated by Emails that hardly ever get read!

By *reative_Edge OP Man
over a year ago

Brighton / Hove Area

I can only speak for myself, but I am utterly frustrated by the fact that I send emails to women that never get read. Not because they necessarily choose not to read them, but primarily that they can't even see them under the deluge of emails in their inbox.

From my experience (sitting with women) showing me their profile, using a phone, they can only see the first 5 odd emails at glance in their inbox aka the top of pile. In some instances their maybe 100 emails that day in their inbox. But most likely they will only scan / preview the first 5 that they can see, because the inbox is so full and overwhelming and if they scroll down they get to read things like... "I want to suck your tits and fuck your arse" etc. and if they read that, they just give up. Totally puts them off bothering with the other emails

90% of numpty cock icon men on here ruin the communication process for the decent straight forward honest guys who are genuine.

I'd like to suggest that there is a EMAIL VERIFICATION system in place. Anyone receiving and email can rate that persons email 1 Worst 5 Best. This verification system should simply be based on MANNERS aka EDICT... doesn't matter if you find the person attractive or not, it simply about whether their email to you the recipient is A) Polite and B) Respectful.

FOR EXAMPLE: John emails Jane "Hello Jane... I really enjoyed reading your profile, specifically the part about your interests in BDSM... I too am annoyed with the depiction of Fifty Shades of Gratuitous. Between our mutual interests and whether or not you find my profile interesting... be great to start chatting and see where things lead... all the best John"

Now above email is polite

Say Jane just isn't attracted to John, her prerogative, but she respects the email. She can now vote 1-5 stars for the email. Say Jane gives John a 4 stars on his email and writes him back saying "Thanks, but no thanks" John replies with "Thank you for replying all the best" - obviously if John writes back something not so nice, Jane can then rate that email accordingly.

Lets say that John continues to be polite and behave like a decent human being (astounding on Fab let alone the internet I know) after lets say 5-10 emails John gets some kind of Verification Badge related to emails, but more importantly any emails John sends get pushed to the top 5 or 10 of the recipients inbox. As long as John keeps his emails polite and people don't abuse the system this would enable people like John to have a better chance of communicating with who they want.

I can't speak to how easy this would be to implement for Fabswingers, nor can I see all the holes in this possible verification system, but I think it would greatly increase the chances of more meaningful communication and leave the dick icon troglodytes to their own devices.

What are peoples thoughts and suggestion?

All the best C_E

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

My thoughts are if women don't want so many mails they can use filters to limit them. They could also block all men and mail men themselves

If they didn't want to do that then deleting a mail is easy to do especially as you don't need to open the mail to see the first line. Getting mails you don't like wouldn't put people off from reading all their mails, the good mails will rise to the top

I think a rating system would be open to malicious rating.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP...

I think that there is a bit of a misconception surrounding volume of messages to women. The figure of 100,s of messages that gets quoted is most likely to be newbies. Once on here a while the volume of messages is likely to drop, especially when females set their filters. Unless of course they don't set them because they enjoy getting lots of messages, it can be ego/self moral boosting . Some females are just very popular though for various reasons.

I would suggest that high message volumes are not the only reason messages go unread

I delete messages from men too far away or whose profile pictures I don't find to my taste, without reading them. I get between 5-10 messages a day.

I don't think your suggestion would improve the situation to be honest, although I get your frustration.

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff

"OP...

I would suggest that high message volumes are not the only reason messages go unread

I delete messages from men too far away or whose profile pictures I don't find to my taste, without reading them. I get between 5-10 messages a day.

I don't think your suggestion would improve the situation to be honest, although I get your frustration.

I keep trying to tell people this. It’s usually only newish profiles and the ones who are high up in hot photos all the time who get 100s a day. I used to get a lot when I was new but I learned to control it with filters, and now I’ve been here a couple of years even without filters I only get about 10 a day. I honestly think it’s used as an excuse a lot of the time, like “oh I’m sorry I’ve been slow to reply, my inbox is rammed and I didn’t see your message” when really they just had other things to do.

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By *assy LassieWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

OP if they can't be bothered to read your message they are hardly going to be bothered rating them. Also would take longer to get to your message if they decided to rate all the random nonsense in the inbox. Click delete. Job done.

People look for different criteria in messages so what's to say 1 person thinks you have sent a great message and the next person thinks it's shit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bottom line, lots of people are just really inconsiderate on here & men are treated like dirt. Majority have a terrible time of it.

No excuse for people not bothering to acknowledge another human being & responding.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ill us my mailbox as i/we see fit ... i try to read most so that i/we can block those im not interested in (for many reasons) i only answer if im interested see iwe've been on fab since it started and many sites befor fab and other still now too the one thing they have all had in common is most people cant take rejection so because of that its a delete or block

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By *lan157Man
over a year ago

a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex

I think you know how poor the response to messages is OP and taking it to much to heart. For myself I realise that my unread message could have been sent on a busy day or at the wrong time of day or have been poorly crafted in the first two lines etc but I not going to get bent out of shape by it and I am not going to write a second time. Just as I have only one chance to make a first impression a woman has only one chance to select my message to read.I have met people at clubs whom I have previously sent an unread message and having gotten on well its always amusing when they check my profile on fab and then say " Oh you once sent me a message " .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

or the people you send a message to look at your profile before the message and deciding your not for them and delete no one is owed an answer ... i only answer those who interest me then ill take it further to the swap pic stage most dont get a reply after that because if i dont at least fancy then no point...

it seems alot forget this bit they would rather think oh ive ticked all your boxes but then seems to forget the attraction bit...

as i say my messages are a zillion % better now due to the block button i get hardly any abuse now one because i dont answer two because i block ...

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