FabSwingers.com forum: Not Looking for Single Guys

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I just want to point something out, which is only my opinion but as someone who openly uses this website as a single man.

I feel its unfair that people who choose to block single guys from messaging them are able to message me, when it suits them.

Surely to make it fair, it should be a rule for both. If you block single guys, then you shouldnt be able to message them either?

Its double standards.

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By *lan157Man
over a year ago

a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex

"I just want to point something out, which is only my opinion but as someone who openly uses this website as a single man.

I feel its unfair that people who choose to block single guys from messaging them are able to message me, when it suits them.

Surely to make it fair, it should be a rule for both. If you block single guys, then you shouldnt be able to message them either?

Its double standards."

What are you saying OP?. Women get to choose...what ever next !

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I just want to point something out, which is only my opinion but as someone who openly uses this website as a single man.

I feel its unfair that people who choose to block single guys from messaging them are able to message me, when it suits them.

Surely to make it fair, it should be a rule for both. If you block single guys, then you shouldnt be able to message them either?

Its double standards.

What are you saying OP?. Women get to choose...what ever next ! "

Did you even read what I said?

...So I can find a profile of a bloke, who blocks messages from single guys such as myself... However he can message me.

Not only would i not want to hear from someone like that anyway, i dont think its fair they should be given the advantage of messaging me when theyve taken my ability to do so.

As for women doing the same thing... I think the same applies...

YOU DONT WANT TO HEAR FROM SINGLE MEN. DONT MESSAGE THEM THEN!!!

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

Some people DO want to meet single men, but do not wish to be inundated with messages from them. They therefore tick the appropriate boxes and message candidates as they choose.

Not sure how complaining about it helps. Either you'd get less messages (because some people that might message you now can't), or less accounts to interact with (because some people would leave as a result). Either way, your odds decrease....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s nothing to do with double standards OP. It’s called choice.

We blocked single guys because we were overwhelmed with messages from them even tho our profile stated at the time that we weren’t looking for them. People use message filters for a reason but it doesn’t mean they’re not entitled to change their mind at some stage.

It’s not a game of tit for tat.

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World

I will just point out that many couples and single women are actually looking to meet single guys, but block them from mailing to stop their mailbox from being filled with countless Hi messages. They can message the guys they are interested in without being inundated.

So if they were blocked from mailing men it could cut your chances of meeting.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Its easy for you to say that when you are women. Is there a block single women option?? No. So its sexist.

You'll say its not because youre "bombarded with messages" from single men. Why should you have the priviledge of choosing messaging who ever you like at a single males detriment?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Some people DO want to meet single men, but do not wish to be inundated with messages from them. They therefore tick the appropriate boxes and message candidates as they choose.

Id rather only hear from people who are open to me messaging them? I would rather i dont see anyone who blocks single guys. The irony is I tend to get messaged by these "straight" men & its unacceptable homophobia.

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By *lan157Man
over a year ago

a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex

"I just want to point something out, which is only my opinion but as someone who openly uses this website as a single man.

I feel its unfair that people who choose to block single guys from messaging them are able to message me, when it suits them.

Surely to make it fair, it should be a rule for both. If you block single guys, then you shouldnt be able to message them either?

Its double standards.

What are you saying OP?. Women get to choose...what ever next !

Did you even read what I said?

...So I can find a profile of a bloke, who blocks messages from single guys such as myself... However he can message me.

Not only would i not want to hear from someone like that anyway, i dont think its fair they should be given the advantage of messaging me when theyve taken my ability to do so.

As for women doing the same thing... I think the same applies...

YOU DONT WANT TO HEAR FROM SINGLE MEN. DONT MESSAGE THEM THEN!!!"

Yes I did read your post OP. What I did'nt do was read your profile and see that you are Gay and looking to meet men not "people" . Perhaps the site for gay men would be more suitable for you ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What im trying to say is... It should be a level playing field for everyone...

Just like for example, if you chose to hide your profile... youre then not allowed to see mobile distant profiles via gps. Fair enough

So if you block men. You should not be able to message them either. Tit for tat maybe, but fair.

Im just sick of unequal treatment towards men in the swinging community and whether you agree with me or not, its my opinion and a valid one.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I just want to point something out, which is only my opinion but as someone who openly uses this website as a single man.

I feel its unfair that people who choose to block single guys from messaging them are able to message me, when it suits them.

Surely to make it fair, it should be a rule for both. If you block single guys, then you shouldnt be able to message them either?

Its double standards.

What are you saying OP?. Women get to choose...what ever next !

Did you even read what I said?

...So I can find a profile of a bloke, who blocks messages from single guys such as myself... However he can message me.

Not only would i not want to hear from someone like that anyway, i dont think its fair they should be given the advantage of messaging me when theyve taken my ability to do so.

As for women doing the same thing... I think the same applies...

YOU DONT WANT TO HEAR FROM SINGLE MEN. DONT MESSAGE THEM THEN!!!

Yes I did read your post OP. What I did'nt do was read your profile and see that you are Gay and looking to meet men not "people" . Perhaps the site for gay men would be more suitable for you ? "

Oh im sorry, i didnt know this site was just made for old aged straight men?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So let’s just put some context here..

I can either have 300 messages plus winks plus friend invites to deal with of which 90% I don’t want to and causes me to be slow to reply to or even miss the messages I do want.

Or.. I can block men as a whole, but reach out to the ones I do want to make contact with, making this less of a job and more of social thing..

If you want.. I’ll be willing to take the block off men so you can message.. then you can wait 3+ days for me to get to your message.. to find I just blocked you and deleted it.

The end result is.. exactly the same.

Am I being homophobic or whatever else it was you ranted about? Nope. I just don’t want to have sex with you. Free will and all that shit.

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff

"Its easy for you to say that when you are women. Is there a block single women option?? No. So its sexist.

You'll say its not because youre "bombarded with messages" from single men. Why should you have the priviledge of choosing messaging who ever you like at a single males detriment?

Yes there is actually. There are a lot of filters, to block many categories of people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can block..

Outside age range

Make

Female

Trans

Mf couple

Ff couple

Mm couple

New members (5 days or less I think)

Without profile picture

Without verification

Not silver/good membership (never understood that one)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Its easy for you to say that when you are women. Is there a block single women option?? No. So its sexist.

You'll say its not because youre "bombarded with messages" from single men. Why should you have the priviledge of choosing messaging who ever you like at a single males detriment?

Yes there is actually. There are a lot of filters, to block many categories of people."

OK... I shall look into this.

Not gonna lie, i am getting really down about the double standard rules and rejection.

I know its different for women but all i can say as a gay/occasionally bi man, its pretty damn rough.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not gonna lie, i am getting really down about the double standard rules and rejection.

I know its different for women but all i can say as a gay/occasionally bi man, its pretty damn rough."

Well, if you want to pull that card.. as a bi guy, who was in a gay relationship for 11yrs before my current one, you’re just going to have to deal with it.

The vast majority of single men on this site, don’t get anywhere. And I’ve been there many many years ago as a single male myself.

And I’m just not sure what ‘levelling the playing field does?’ Would it make you feel better about sending a message? Because I was serious in the statement of it would just be blocked and deleted. As would anyone that has a male block on I was presume.

And until you’ve seen the shit that couples and females get sent by men... and the inability for men to take no for an answer.. and for them to keep sending.. you won’t really understand why most do it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No one is attacking. We’ve all explained the reasons why with context. It’s just how this website is..

If you’re having issues with men messaging you, you can also block them en-masse. But that If you do that, men can still message you if you have chatted to or winked at. That allows you to pick and choose who can and can’t message you.

It sounds like in a way you’re having the same issues we are. But you get it anywhere really as the amount of ‘straight’ guys on Grindr was crazy.

Maybe setting yourself as bi will reduce the amount?

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World

"Its easy for you to say that when you are women. Is there a block single women option?? No. So its sexist.

You'll say its not because youre "bombarded with messages" from single men. Why should you have the priviledge of choosing messaging who ever you like at a single males detriment?

https://www.fabswingers.com/my/filters

Check your message filters, the link above, you can block every gender from mailing you, just the same as I can.

So I'm not sure that your "Is there a block single women option?? No. So its sexist." comment applies

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By *erlins5Man
over a year ago

South Fife

Firstly you can block women just the same as they can block men....no double standards....secondly I have had some lovely times with ladies and couples who block men but have contacted me...they simply want to choose someone rather than have hundreds of messages to sift through....personally I don`t see the problem.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No different than at clubs where only women can initiate.

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World

Closing this.

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