FabSwingers.com forum: bdsm forum

By *ersey Girl OP Couple
over a year ago

Glasgow

surely a bdsm forum would have more relevance on this site than something like bikers?

an improvement that could easily be made.

r&s

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Problem is that Fab doesn't really allow much kink stuff to be posted due to rules.

I did suggest a kink/fetish forum before

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By *ersey Girl OP Couple
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Problem is that Fab doesn't really allow much kink stuff to be posted due to rules.

I did suggest a kink/fetish forum before

and a good suggestion it was

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By *arbarianzCouple
over a year ago

BARNSTAPLE

to be fair, I don't think anyone even checks the suggestion forum :P

The mailbox is shocking. we need boxes! :P couples/women can get inundated, we need to be able to file/sort things :P

It's missing many features one would consider 'standard' etc..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The suggestion forum does get checked and a few suggestions have been implemented.

I agree that a bdsm forum would be a great idea.

Go suggest it and if it garnered support I’m sure it’ll be considered by the almighty.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The suggestion forum does get checked and a few suggestions have been implemented.

I agree that a bdsm forum would be a great idea.

Go suggest it and if it garnered support I’m sure it’ll be considered by the almighty."

It won't.

Like I said before, fab doesn't really allow kink/BDSM stuff.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"The suggestion forum does get checked and a few suggestions have been implemented.

I agree that a bdsm forum would be a great idea.

Go suggest it and if it garnered support I’m sure it’ll be considered by the almighty.

It won't.

Like I said before, fab doesn't really allow kink/BDSM stuff."

^this there was a push for one a while back

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I was all for this, and I still would be... here comes the however

I know, I'm sorry...

It would get abused by those who think they're all clued up but are no more than an abusive bully who thinks dominance = treating someone like a rag doll.

Those who enjoy hitting others because of the violence, no more than that.

I'd have never said that years ago but the messages I've received over the years have shown me an awful lot have no idea and don't want to learn because they think they know it all already and won't accept their urges are dangerous rather than within the "rules" of the BDSM world.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

"The suggestion forum does get checked and a few suggestions have been implemented.

I agree that a bdsm forum would be a great idea.

Go suggest it and if it garnered support I’m sure it’ll be considered by the almighty.

It won't.

Like I said before, fab doesn't really allow kink/BDSM stuff."

Tell me about it. You can get a ban for mentioning a pretty mainstream BDSM practise

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was all for this, and I still would be... here comes the however

I know, I'm sorry...

It would get abused by those who think they're all clued up but are no more than an abusive bully who thinks dominance = treating someone like a rag doll.

Those who enjoy hitting others because of the violence, no more than that.

I blame 50 shades

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

This has been raised and suggested many times and fallen on deaf ears.

I guess there are other sites that cater for this, though none quite so social as here.

I find it strange that you can list SM as an interest, and not BD

I also think that any specific forum would soon sort the wheat from the chaff and help to eliminate or educate wannabes, so could be a good thing, though it's probably not something that thoroughbred swingers want on here.

I'd say our interest is playful more than anything intense, I'd still welcome somewhere to open discussions.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I can't help but feel it would end up riddled with uber doms though.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"I can't help but feel it would end up riddled with uber doms though. "

You have some books to recommend don't ya Lacey? I'm trying to remember who gave some good recommendations when the topic has come up before x

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"I can't help but feel it would end up riddled with uber doms though.

You have some books to recommend don't ya Lacey? I'm trying to remember who gave some good recommendations when the topic has come up before x"

It wasn't me. Zensual or Gemini Man maybe?

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Right, I have a couple of books from GM.....

Screw The Roses Bring Me The Thorns and SM101 are the ones I usually quote

He's a good egg.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"I can't help but feel it would end up riddled with uber doms though.

You have some books to recommend don't ya Lacey? I'm trying to remember who gave some good recommendations when the topic has come up before x

It wasn't me. Zensual or Gemini Man maybe? "

Cheers beaut

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe we could just start one of those sticky threads like the bbw ones that go on for hundreds of pages but call it pigeons or something.

We could fool the mods into thinking it was actually about pigeons I reckon.

If anyone spots a mod in the pigeon thread then everyone has to coo and and flap their wings to warn others.

I didn’t realise it was frowned upon so much on fab but my original point was that the suggestion forum does get looked at and listened to.

Unfortunately it seems like you just can’t have the bdsm orientated forum then so that’s the end of it, which is a shame for a site such as this.

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

"I can't help but feel it would end up riddled with uber doms though. "

Yep. Based on how BDSM is seen and treated on here, I don't think a dedicated forum is necessarily a good idea.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree but I don't see it ever happening, fab doest swwm to be very kink forward, whenever I try posiny a picture of like a handprint on my arse which really let's face it isn't ever kinky or bdsm there always regected, closest I've got to being able to show pictures that reprosent me as a sub is one with a ball gag

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

There are quite a few subjects connected to bdsm that aren't allowed in the forum. Also pictures depicting harm to a person aren't allowed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe we could just start one of those sticky threads like the bbw ones that go on for hundreds of pages but call it pigeons or something.

We could fool the mods into thinking it was actually about pigeons I reckon.

If anyone spots a mod in the pigeon thread then everyone has to coo and and flap their wings to warn others.

I didn’t realise it was frowned upon so much on fab but my original point was that the suggestion forum does get looked at and listened to.

Unfortunately it seems like you just can’t have the bdsm orientated forum then so that’s the end of it, which is a shame for a site such as this."

It is when there’s clearly a demand for it, maybe it because it would take too much monitoring and mods to ensure than it wasn’t a haven for wannabe Dom’s exploiting the title. I also find it a contradiction like someone said above that you can actually list SM on your like but woe betide you discuss such things here on privately. Xx

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Whilst there is an ever growing crossover of bdsm into swinging (although heaven forbid it goes the other way

) the fact is that the majority on here don't like it, don't get it, don't want picture of it etc.

You only have to on the forums for a short period of time to find kink shaming going on. By having a forum for it all you are doing is highlighting the way for all those who like to tell people their kink s are wrong. It would become a slanging match every time.

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By *ersey Girl OP Couple
over a year ago

Glasgow

glad to see some honest responses on both sides of the opinion

r&s

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By *arbarianzCouple
over a year ago

BARNSTAPLE

Thank you so much for those book links and advice from folks btw! big shout out to Peach for that!

We're on a slow 'testing' phase, so good to get the advice to make sure things are being done well and right!

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By *ondescriptcoupleCouple
over a year ago

Nottingham

We realise the OP is well meaning but this will be one of the many many many posts that have been made on this subject over the years that will be ignored by Fabs.

To be fair to Fabs this is a Swingers website, not a kink site, if you want kink chat they are lots of big websites that already offer that, it is not the USP of Fabswingers.

And as others have said you would need to change certain website rules to allow it. Certain acts cannot be discussed or shown in pictures so you would end up with a very watered down forum.

Sadly it is another example of how, to some people, Kink and Swing do not mix

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"surely a bdsm forum would have more relevance on this site than something like bikers?

an improvement that could easily be made.

r&s"

1000%

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By *oBeRodeMan
over a year ago

clifton ish

More maybe set up one for chatting and dating to move all those that are not looking for anything rather than time wasting x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally agree!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OK we are on that other site but this is far easier to chat with people. The other site is more well likes and duckies are more varied.

A forum would be good. There is a block button for pest/fakes. But it would allow those in the lifestyle to communicate with others rather than get abusive emails telling us how immature we are. If Lgbt tv ts cd is OK why not BDSM its a swinging site not a judgemental site surely ???

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By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton

Unfortunately Fab won't do it, I was part of attempts 4 and 2 years ago to have a BDSM room. Each time there was great support but each time it was ignored, and in the meantime we have a tiddlywinks room, and a greasy spanner room... go figure!

To be honest I would prefer that rather than mods jumping in off their own bat, they referred BDSM matters to the mods that are a couple and are clued up on BDSM and kink and in my view are sensible.

I do agree they should allow a curated sticky of helpful information that complies with Fab's rules.

I think most experienced subs can tell a "dick dom" or a "dim dom" from someone who is experienced. The problem is that newbies may not, but that problem will exist whether there is a separate BDSM forum or not.

For one night only the list of books that I have on BDSM and have read and would recommend excluding the ones already mentioned.

50 Shades of Curious Bo Blaze, don't be put off by the name

Wild Side The Book of Kink - Midori

The New Topping Book - Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy. They also have a bottoming book.

The Psychology of Bdsm and rope bondage - Sin

Learning the Ropes - Race Bannon

The Heart of Dominance - Anton Fulmer

The Domly Dom Manual - Dominik McMaster

The Ultimate Guide to Bondage - Mistress Couple.

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By *uietlyKinkyUsCouple
over a year ago

midlands

Biking is legal. Politicall debate is legal.

Sex is legal. (With legal age requirements)

Most aspects of kink is illegal.

Theres a reason the big sites for kink based discussions are based over seas.

Fabs have to keep the forums within our laws so discussions of illegal subjects simply won't happen.

It's the same reason fabs have minimum age requirements.

Fabs is a swinging site, discussing cake recipes, biking routes, mechanics, sex positions etc are all okay as long as they are legal.

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By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton

Actually most aspects of kink and BDSM are legal. Service is legal, domination is legal, masochism is legal and so is sadism. The only aspect that is illegal is causing more than mild harm.

Any experienced and skilled dom/me can do BDSM without breaking the law.

This level of ignorance is my concern.

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By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton

I would also add that biking can be done in an illegal manner, as can political debate as we have seen in America. So there is absolutely no grounds to penalise BDSM.

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By *rank speakerMan
over a year ago

Worcester

"I agree but I don't see it ever happening, fab doest swwm to be very kink forward, whenever I try posiny a picture of like a handprint on my arse which really let's face it isn't ever kinky or bdsm there always regected, closest I've got to being able to show pictures that reprosent me as a sub is one with a ball gag"

So much seems to depend on the individual who is looking at pics. I've had pics on here before that was even a profile pic for months which was inexplicably removed! Unfortunately it was the only copy I had so it was gone forever!

I'd vote for a b.d.s.m. section and rely on the lady's common sense to blow out the individuals as mostly they seem to recognise an idiot from the off.

I still maintain this is the best site I've ever found for ease of use and clarity. Go on management. Give it a whirl?

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

To be honest I would prefer that rather than mods jumping in off their own bat, they referred BDSM matters to the mods that are a couple and are clued up on BDSM and kink and in my view are sensible.

It matters not what view a mod holds or what kink they are into, they are here to mod the forum to the rules set by Admin.

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By *ondescriptcoupleCouple
over a year ago

Nottingham

"Actually most aspects of kink and BDSM are legal....

This level of ignorance is my concern.

Whether most aspects of kink are legal depends totally on what you class as kink.

D/s & M/s are not all aspects of kink, there are many many varieties.

I don't see this as ignorance at all, and for you to say that, without knowing that persons kink aspect is both rude and dismissive.

Whether certain aspects of kink are not your thing doesn't give you the right to kink shame.

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By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton

[Removed by poster at 10/02/21 21:54:17]

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Ok we should leave that there

If Admin are going to introduce a BDSM forum they will let us all know

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