FabSwingers.com forum: Spam Winks and Messages

By *e-are-both-bad OP Couple
over a year ago

East Lancashire

Spam messages and winks

Everyone hates receiving them, most single women ignore winks and bulk delete. Most women have to filter through the 100's of one liner, slap and dash messages to get to the decent ones. It's not as bad for couples but still a pain. Lots of profiles have a rant section about reading profiles before messaging. The spam is one of the things that ruins Fab!

So, site admin, why don't you move the "message" and "wink" buttons to the bottom of the profile?

It won't eliminate the problem but at least reduce it as it will mean you have to scroll through the profile to get to those options.

You could also give the option to disable winks? They're for people who are too lazy and bone idle to send a message in any case!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Spam messages and winks

So, site admin, why don't you move the "message" and "wink" buttons to the bottom of the profile?

It won't eliminate the problem but at least reduce it as it will mean you have to scroll through the profile to get to those options.

You could also give the option to disable winks? They're for people who are too lazy and bone idle to send a message in any case!

Excellent idea for making people read the profile. However, SOME, will just scroll straight to the bottom and wink etc anyway. But I agree that it will reduce the amount of one line winkers etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't ignore winks

I don't bulk delete and I don't have to go through 100's of one liners.

Putting them at end of a profile will not make someone who has no intention of reading the profile do so.

Winks cause no pain, ignore them. One liners that annoy you, block them. Too much mail, filter out groups you don't want contact from.

Works for me

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By *uietlyKinkyUsCouple
over a year ago

midlands

Message filters

I use the sites message filters and message people that interest me.

Moving a button won't change people's habits, so if you're frustrated with the way the site functions for you, make some changes.

Doing a search takes less time than sifting through a bursting inbox

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By *e-are-both-bad OP Couple
over a year ago

East Lancashire

I manage the IT system for a major UK organisation. Moving a button absolutely will change people's habits.

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By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago

Wherever the party is!

OP is 100% correct. Most social media sites have the like/reply/share links at the bottom for a very good reason.

If I browse this site on a pc, I could perform a search, open 20+ profiles (in multiple tabs), wink them all then close the browser in less than half a minute. That's manually by the way, I'm sure that more could be done with automation.

Having the links at the bottom of the profile (especially a long profile) would make this much harder to do manually. Also, it's just more logical to interact with a profile AFTER it's been read.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We don’t ignore winks. It just takes bloody ages to get through them

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By *e-are-both-bad OP Couple
over a year ago

East Lancashire

Just uploaded a new pic.....

Immediately received 5 winks and 3 friends invites and yet our profile states at the very top this will get you blocked.

Is this does not prove the point that the buttons are in the wrong place I don't know what will.

My work is managing these sort of things. The position of where things are on a 'page' absolutely drives behaviour. Come on Fab, here's an opportunity to make a simple change that will improve the user experience. Stop making it so easy to spam people.....

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By *e-are-both-bad OP Couple
over a year ago

East Lancashire

3 more winks in the time it took me to type that message!

These are all guys who haven't bothered to read a profile but seen a pic and just hit CLICK......

Sad really that their behaviour is so poor and that the site facilitates it

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

What makes you think they will read it even if they have to scroll down

I found when we first started on sites like this many moons ago that most people ignore what is on a profile and message/ wink / add to friends anyway, so we decided then not to get wound up about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't ignore winks

I don't bulk delete and I don't have to go through 100's of one liners.

Putting them at end of a profile will not make someone who has no intention of reading the profile do so.

Winks cause no pain, ignore them. One liners that annoy you, block them. Too much mail, filter out groups you don't want contact from.

Works for me

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By * Plus ECouple
over a year ago

The South

Our profile actually says, don't wink, just message us.

We still get loads of winks.

I leave them exactly where they are, it means they can't wink again for a while, at least we get some respite.

It takes zero effort to ignore them.

Bothers me not.

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By *yphodMan
over a year ago

London

Every dating site has winks and they are universilly hated.

Why even have them.

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By *assage_MusicCouple
over a year ago

South East

"Our profile actually says, don't wink, just message us.

We still get loads of winks.

I leave them exactly where they are, it means they can't wink again for a while, at least we get some respite.

It takes zero effort to ignore them.

Bothers me not.

People want things to be done their way. If being on fab, OP, makes you angry, take a brake from it.

Wink or one liner message, what's the problem with that? As other said, it takes zero effort to ignore. Much energy is spent on anger and venting it on forums.

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By * Plus ECouple
over a year ago

The South

"Our profile actually says, don't wink, just message us.

We still get loads of winks.

I leave them exactly where they are, it means they can't wink again for a while, at least we get some respite.

It takes zero effort to ignore them.

Bothers me not.

People want things to be done their way. If being on fab, OP, makes you angry, take a brake from it.

Wink or one liner message, what's the problem with that? As other said, it takes zero effort to ignore. Much energy is spent on anger and venting it on forums.

How the Hell have you gathered I'm angry from what I wrote?

Where have I said it's a problem?

I do wish people could read what was written, as opposed to what they want to be written.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Isn’t the poke function still somewhere on Facebook?

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By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago

Wherever the party is!

"What makes you think they will read it even if they have to scroll down

I found when we first started on sites like this many moons ago that most people ignore what is on a profile and message/ wink / add to friends anyway, so we decided then not to get wound up about it

It's not so much about reading the profile. It's more about creating a physical barrier to discourage people from "automatically" clicking multiple profiles. They employ the numbers game strategy so if they even get a 1% response rate, then winking 100 profiles (yes, really) becomes the standard method.

Having the interaction functions anywhere other than front and centre would go a long way to slowing that down.

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By *lirty-CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Bexley

We just delete winks and one liners - the vast majority of which come from people who clearly haven't bothered to find out what we're looking for and limited to first.

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By *lirty-CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Bexley

"Our profile actually says, don't wink, just message us.

We still get loads of winks.

I leave them exactly where they are, it means they can't wink again for a while, at least we get some respite.

It takes zero effort to ignore them.

Bothers me not.

Good idea - won't bother deleting winks anymore.

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By *lirty-CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Bexley

"Our profile actually says, don't wink, just message us.

We still get loads of winks.

I leave them exactly where they are, it means they can't wink again for a while, at least we get some respite.

It takes zero effort to ignore them.

Bothers me not.

People want things to be done their way. If being on fab, OP, makes you angry, take a brake from it.

Wink or one liner message, what's the problem with that? As other said, it takes zero effort to ignore. Much energy is spent on anger and venting it on forums.

How the Hell have you gathered I'm angry from what I wrote?

Where have I said it's a problem?

I do wish people could read what was written, as opposed to what they want to be written.

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By * Plus ECouple
over a year ago

The South

"Our profile actually says, don't wink, just message us.

We still get loads of winks.

I leave them exactly where they are, it means they can't wink again for a while, at least we get some respite.

It takes zero effort to ignore them.

Bothers me not.

People want things to be done their way. If being on fab, OP, makes you angry, take a brake from it.

Wink or one liner message, what's the problem with that? As other said, it takes zero effort to ignore. Much energy is spent on anger and venting it on forums.

How the Hell have you gathered I'm angry from what I wrote?

Where have I said it's a problem?

I do wish people could read what was written, as opposed to what they want to be written.

The funniest part of a particularly stupid post; "As other said, it takes zero effort to ignore"

Correct. I said it.

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By *ast_jjMan
over a year ago

Dublin and London

I don't have this problem obviously but of I had, I would use the filters. So if I was a female or couple and I wanted to meet a single male for example then I would block single males, use the forums (I have had a few meets from forum posts) and also search myself for a well verified male that appeals to me, appears to meet my criteria and send them a well written and though out message. It removes the winks and hi / how r u messages and you get to pick who you want to try chat to and potentially meet. It's just how I would approach it.

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By *assage_MusicCouple
over a year ago

South East

"Our profile actually says, don't wink, just message us.

We still get loads of winks.

I leave them exactly where they are, it means they can't wink again for a while, at least we get some respite.

It takes zero effort to ignore them.

Bothers me not.

People want things to be done their way. If being on fab, OP, makes you angry, take a brake from it.

Wink or one liner message, what's the problem with that? As other said, it takes zero effort to ignore. Much energy is spent on anger and venting it on forums.

How the Hell have you gathered I'm angry from what I wrote?

Where have I said it's a problem?

I do wish people could read what was written, as opposed to what they want to be written.

Oh wow, the hell you are super angry now!

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By *assage_MusicCouple
over a year ago

South East

"Our profile actually says, don't wink, just message us.

We still get loads of winks.

I leave them exactly where they are, it means they can't wink again for a while, at least we get some respite.

It takes zero effort to ignore them.

Bothers me not.

People want things to be done their way. If being on fab, OP, makes you angry, take a brake from it.

Wink or one liner message, what's the problem with that? As other said, it takes zero effort to ignore. Much energy is spent on anger and venting it on forums.

How the Hell have you gathered I'm angry from what I wrote?

Where have I said it's a problem?

I do wish people could read what was written, as opposed to what they want to be written.

Oh wow, the hell you are super angry now!

And it takes zero effort to ignore a post if you don't like it. Unless, like me, you are entertained by it

Come on, fire the next one hell of a response!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Our profile actually says, don't wink, just message us.

We still get loads of winks.

I leave them exactly where they are, it means they can't wink again for a while, at least we get some respite.

It takes zero effort to ignore them.

Bothers me not.

People want things to be done their way. If being on fab, OP, makes you angry, take a brake from it.

Wink or one liner message, what's the problem with that? As other said, it takes zero effort to ignore. Much energy is spent on anger and venting it on forums.

How the Hell have you gathered I'm angry from what I wrote?

Where have I said it's a problem?

I do wish people could read what was written, as opposed to what they want to be written.

Oh wow, the hell you are super angry now!

And it takes zero effort to ignore a post if you don't like it. Unless, like me, you are entertained by it

Come on, fire the next one hell of a response!!! "

Woman ranting at me for swiping for her on tinder. As it clearly said she was looking for a future husband. Erm.. ok.. it clearly says I’m polyamorous and engaged on mine, didn’t she look? Apparently that wasn’t the point.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"Our profile actually says, don't wink, just message us.

We still get loads of winks.

I leave them exactly where they are, it means they can't wink again for a while, at least we get some respite.

It takes zero effort to ignore them.

Bothers me not.

People want things to be done their way. If being on fab, OP, makes you angry, take a brake from it.

Wink or one liner message, what's the problem with that? As other said, it takes zero effort to ignore. Much energy is spent on anger and venting it on forums.

How the Hell have you gathered I'm angry from what I wrote?

Where have I said it's a problem?

I do wish people could read what was written, as opposed to what they want to be written.

I thought they were agreeing with you and not meaning "you" personally

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Our profile actually says, don't wink, just message us.

We still get loads of winks.

I leave them exactly where they are, it means they can't wink again for a while, at least we get some respite.

It takes zero effort to ignore them.

Bothers me not.

People want things to be done their way. If being on fab, OP, makes you angry, take a brake from it.

Wink or one liner message, what's the problem with that? As other said, it takes zero effort to ignore. Much energy is spent on anger and venting it on forums.

How the Hell have you gathered I'm angry from what I wrote?

Where have I said it's a problem?

I do wish people could read what was written, as opposed to what they want to be written.

I thought they were agreeing with you and not meaning "you" personally"

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By *assage_MusicCouple
over a year ago

South East

"Our profile actually says, don't wink, just message us.

We still get loads of winks.

I leave them exactly where they are, it means they can't wink again for a while, at least we get some respite.

It takes zero effort to ignore them.

Bothers me not.

People want things to be done their way. If being on fab, OP, makes you angry, take a brake from it.

Wink or one liner message, what's the problem with that? As other said, it takes zero effort to ignore. Much energy is spent on anger and venting it on forums.

How the Hell have you gathered I'm angry from what I wrote?

Where have I said it's a problem?

I do wish people could read what was written, as opposed to what they want to be written.

Oh wow, the hell you are super angry now!

And it takes zero effort to ignore a post if you don't like it. Unless, like me, you are entertained by it

Come on, fire the next one hell of a response!!!

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By *assage_MusicCouple
over a year ago

South East

"Our profile actually says, don't wink, just message us.

We still get loads of winks.

I leave them exactly where they are, it means they can't wink again for a while, at least we get some respite.

It takes zero effort to ignore them.

Bothers me not.

People want things to be done their way. If being on fab, OP, makes you angry, take a brake from it.

Wink or one liner message, what's the problem with that? As other said, it takes zero effort to ignore. Much energy is spent on anger and venting it on forums.

How the Hell have you gathered I'm angry from what I wrote?

Where have I said it's a problem?

I do wish people could read what was written, as opposed to what they want to be written.

I thought they were agreeing with you and not meaning "you" personally"

The reply was directed at M Plus E , the one with "the hell".

People really get wound up over nothing.

Life is fun! Be Marry everyone! Christmas is around the corner!!!

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"Our profile actually says, don't wink, just message us.

We still get loads of winks.

I leave them exactly where they are, it means they can't wink again for a while, at least we get some respite.

It takes zero effort to ignore them.

Bothers me not.

People want things to be done their way. If being on fab, OP, makes you angry, take a brake from it.

Wink or one liner message, what's the problem with that? As other said, it takes zero effort to ignore. Much energy is spent on anger and venting it on forums.

How the Hell have you gathered I'm angry from what I wrote?

Where have I said it's a problem?

I do wish people could read what was written, as opposed to what they want to be written.

I thought they were agreeing with you and not meaning "you" personally

The reply was directed at M Plus E , the one with "the hell".

People really get wound up over nothing.

Life is fun! Be Marry everyone! Christmas is around the corner!!! "

That post was AFTER the one you quoted and replied to.

I am not sure if there is an issue here between you both but if there is keep it away from the forum please.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

This is the feedback section so lets keep it to that. Back to the OP please

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By *ast_jjMan
over a year ago

Dublin and London

"I don't have this problem obviously but of I had, I would use the filters. So if I was a female or couple and I wanted to meet a single male for example then I would block single males, use the forums (I have had a few meets from forum posts) and also search myself for a well verified male that appeals to me, appears to meet my criteria and send them a well written and though out message. It removes the winks and hi / how r u messages and you get to pick who you want to try chat to and potentially meet. It's just how I would approach it. "

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

People read profiles and ignore what they don't want to see, wherever the button etc, may be.

Winks are ideally quick and easy. Making them harder is probably going to reduce the level, which will likely have unintended consequences. Those who rarely get them may get far fewer - is that success?

If people don't want to read, they will not read.

Winks are quick to deal with, compared to messages. I'd put more focus on the latter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I manage the IT system for a major UK organisation. Moving a button absolutely will change people's habits. "

But whats the point in that?

You have made a lot of assumptions about how people use the site, I have a single female profile and I just ignore the winks if I'm not interested but I do barely look at them but they don't cause me any issues.

All so as others have said there are things in place to limit who can message them, so to be honest I don't see the point.

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By *awandBareWoman
over a year ago

Oxford

"Spam messages and winks

So, site admin, why don't you move the "message" and "wink" buttons to the bottom of the profile?

It won't eliminate the problem but at least reduce it as it will mean you have to scroll through the profile to get to those options.

You could also give the option to disable winks? They're for people who are too lazy and bone idle to send a message in any case!

Totally agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You know that you’re better off leaving the winks there? If you clear them, they can wink at you again. If you leave them, they can’t wink for 30days

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Spam Winks and Messages - solution?