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How to reassure a body-conscious play partner?

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By *apient_stag OP   Man
over a year ago

Glocs

Evening, all.

I have had female friends who are tempted by the idea of going to clubs, but who put off going until they feel they’re at their perfect best. As an observer I’d always suggest that they’re already hot as hell, but this isn’t enough.

So, ladies (and especially club-goers), what concerns did you have about clubs before you first went, and how can I reassure friends that they’re unfounded?

Thanks in advance,

Stag

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By *WillowxWoman
over a year ago

Oo err Devon

That's a tough one...

I've been body conscious since being a mum... Lost loads of confidence. But my partner gave it back to me.. How...

Well I guess it was the way he made me feel... I could see the look in his eyes when he looked at me.. Hunger... And his moans..

It was easier to believe that than words... But I guess his words telling me I was beautiful helped too.

I think the local social even gave me the confidence to go to a club... No pressure but it was a great night meeting others.. And certai ly gave me confidence and showed me that there were so many different people into swinging...

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By *apient_stag OP   Man
over a year ago

Glocs

Thanks, Willow.

I know that, as soon as she walks in the door, she’s going to get that level of attention. And I definitely let her know that I see her that way, too. Maybe one solution (suggested elsewhere) is to take her to a club that feels less full-on, and treat it as a place to drink and chat that just happens to have on-site entertainment!

- S

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I, Char have always been a larger lady. I keep my confidence by wearing stockings and underwear that flatters my figure and that makes me feel more confident and sexy.

In clubs there is never the pressure to stay undressed, there are private rooms and if a wet club towels or robes. Always wear what you are comfortable in and go to club to try it first then build up your confidence. It can be more social to start with, and not at all judgemental. Look for nights that are BBW if preferred to be in an environment with other larger ladies. Or go midweek to clubs when its quieter. Hope this helps. Good luck. Char x

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By *andKBCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth

I struggle with my confidence and I think its showing at the moment!! I dont want to go to clubs or anything because I hate the way I look! I went NYE and found it super hard.

For me i need to do it myself and sort my weight out and try and get out there when I can!

Reassurance for your play partner and a killer outfit will help her.

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By *onyMad123Couple
over a year ago

nottingham/ derby

Choose a club with a dress code suitable, I'm a bbw round middle, have a chubby lady area, but have OK legs etc, I never completly go naked even in a dungeon etc, I always cover the middle part, despite my partner being happy with it, I tend to go to club dressed in a nice dress etc but choose a slinky nighty to slip into, rosegal do a great range of cover upables, I hate body stockings, and like to have fun but but my other Half knows what bits I like to stay covered

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I, Char have always been a larger lady. I keep my confidence by wearing stockings and underwear that flatters my figure and that makes me feel more confident and sexy.

In clubs there is never the pressure to stay undressed, there are private rooms and if a wet club towels or robes. Always wear what you are comfortable in and go to club to try it first then build up your confidence. It can be more social to start with, and not at all judgemental. Look for nights that are BBW if preferred to be in an environment with other larger ladies. Or go midweek to clubs when its quieter. Hope this helps. Good luck. Char x

"

All of the above

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By *WillowxWoman
over a year ago

Oo err Devon


"Thanks, Willow.

I know that, as soon as she walks in the door, she’s going to get that level of attention. And I definitely let her know that I see her that way, too. Maybe one solution (suggested elsewhere) is to take her to a club that feels less full-on, and treat it as a place to drink and chat that just happens to have on-site entertainment!

- S"

Yes.. That's what the social felt like... We ended up getting... Stuck in

However it was the having a casual drink and chats that made me Feel so at ease.

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By *ornyhappyCouple
over a year ago

perth

I'd suggest that they maybe go along and see what a club is like for themselves, without any pressure to play or even undress if they don't feel comfortable to do so. They can see for themselves that the people are friendly & come in all shapes and sizes and that no one judges anyone else.

I was terrified of going to a club for the first time, but within minutes of getting inside on our first visit my fears evaporated. It helped that I had an incredibly supportive partner by my side who helped me have the confidence to just relax & enjoy myself. It was a very empowering experience.

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By *WillowxWoman
over a year ago

Oo err Devon

Nice undies certainly help me too... Deffo help. Me. Feel Co fident by covering bits I'm less confident about and show g off other parts

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By *ady23Woman
over a year ago

Coventry

The first time I went I took a change of clothes just incase and agreed I would leave if I fekt uncomfortable. Got so many compliments it blew us away and we ended up very popular in the couples room gentle play. Was unforgettable for us both. Awesome

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By *apient_stag OP   Man
over a year ago

Glocs

Thanks, all

I hadn’t thought of taking her shopping for an outfit / lingerie set specifically for the club visit - this is definitely something we can do, when she’s ready to take the leap. And what’s the point of buying an outfit if you haven’t got somewhere to show it off, right?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is my concern I am going to my first club/party experience at the end of the month

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By *ettyboop61Woman
over a year ago

St Neots

I know how all you ladies feel.....I used to go willingly but these days I feel like everyone is looking at my overhang...I hate it

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

Choose the club carefully. I dislike club's where you are expected to strip off into something revealing instantly. Finding somewhere she can stay dressed and just socialising is my first tip.

Then have sexy lingerie...baby doll is a great choice...floaty and pretty, but doesn't show any flabby bits too clearly.

If you feel like playing, then head into a totally private room.

Taking it in little steps and with the option of staying dressed and not having too much to drink so she feels totally in control is best.

Finally, if she doesn't feel comfortable, then you can always leave. They don't lock the doors.

Hope she finds the courage to give it a go. The majority of people love it.

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By *apient_stag OP   Man
over a year ago

Glocs

Thanks - club choice is something I’m really thinking about. I’ve realised that what I look for in a club might not be quite the same as what she might feel most comfortable with (!).

I’m guessing that either Xtasia or Liberty Elite might be a good first choice, but Chams might be a bit full-on? What do people think?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Please tell your friends not to worry OP!

I’m a larger/older lady and was so worried about visiting our first club.

I shouldn’t have been. There are ladies of all shapes and sizes and different outfits.

The strange thing is it feels wonderful wearing lingerie in that kind of atmosphere, it really does give you confidence. I can honestly say that everyone is so friendly and relaxed that you quickly forget about any lumps and bumps.

It only takes the first time and they’ll never look back!

Miss V x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The Attic is also a good one, I too have bits I like to keep covered and i'm not totally confident in myself since I had my baby last year.

We picked to go Attic in Derby as there is no strict dress down rule.

When I first went to a club I was nervous because of wobbly bits etc

Also, my partner helps with words of encouragement that I'm stunning beautiful etc... but when I got into the club I saw everyone of all different shapes and sizes and felt more relaxed about my body shape.

Let her take it at her pace , pick a club that doesn't have a strict dress down rule. also, keep reassuring her

we are all different shapes and sizes on here and its the same in clubs (as I found out).

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By *lbinoGorillaMan
over a year ago

Redditch

I've only very limited experience on the club scene, but I know that Xtasia allows people to stay covered up if they want to, while Chams encourages people to dress down almost immediately

To be honest, I'm suffering a bit of a crisis of body confidence myself at the moment (and thus arguably this site is the best place for me right now) because I'm comparing myself to the ripped, muscle-bound, well-endowed guys I see on here who seem to be what most (single?) ladies find attractive. Whereas I'm less of an oil painting and more of an extremely hairy oil slick....

I'm hoping I'll snap out of it soon enough, but am not sure how to manage it

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By *idlandsduo400Couple
over a year ago

alfreton

I go to the attic...I have issues with my body, or should I say had issues. I'm not perfect by any means. I started by dressing up with corset and stockings...the corset made me feel sexy as it put things where they should be and hid the bits I dont like. But having been a few times now last Thursday night at greedy girls I was completely naked for the best part of the whole night. Whilst there maybe people that dont like how I look, that's fine and I'm fully aware I'm not everyone's cup of tea. But there are plenty I can make weak at the knees and that's all I need. I like the attic because as previously stated you can go as far as you are comfortable with in terms of losing clothes. I've seen plenty that dont lose anything, that's fine by me. I hope your friend finds what shes comfortable with and has the time of her life. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm attending my 1st club this week and I'm worrying what to dress down in. Most of my lingerie that I can get away with is boobless.... do many people sit with their boobs hanging out? And esp being my size of boob? Help! Lol

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By *lbinoGorillaMan
over a year ago

Redditch

The one club night I've been to there was a lady who started the night in a boobless little black dress but then changed fairly quickly into just a black thong and high heels

I think you'll do just fine. Especially with those magnificent boobs

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By *apient_stag OP   Man
over a year ago

Glocs

Thanks for all the replies to this thread, fab people!

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By *hMyGawdCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

Most clubs have plenty of women who are over a size 20. Many much bigger still.

I don't see how anyone could feel self conscious.

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By *eonnieCouple
over a year ago

Worsley

Clubs have actually been great for my body image. I've struggled with my mummy tummy before to the point that I wouldn't show it to anyone. By my 4th club visit I did not care at all about it. Not sure if it's the atmosphere or the attention. Or simply the fact that there are sexy people of all shapes and sizes enjoying themselves that did it..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s the good thing about clubs, we’re all the same! No one is perfect, we all have wobbly bits, stretch marks, scars, warts and all! It’s why I prefer chameleons. Once undressed, doesn’t matter If you’re rich or poor! It’s what’s inside that counts. How you talk and treat people. You can be model material, but with a personality the depth of a puddle, you ain’t gonna get anything! From good friendly chat, to play.

I can understand body conscious females, media places so much pressure on you! Latest love island is terrible for displaying bodies (male and female) that just sent real! (Interms of real life)

Everyone is also very different in what they find attractive! Some like eyes, others boobs, bums and even feet! My mate goes for a ankles! Hey makes the world turn. So don’t get pent up on your image! We should all take care with our hygiene, but apart from that, be happy - it shows confidence and why should t you! Is the person looking really all that!!!

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