FabSwingers.com forum: Couples Play Advice

By *itsAndTaff OP Couple
over a year ago

Grays, Essex

Advice wanted

My husband and I are fairly new to going to clubs or more so attending couples nights at clubs

The whole couples thing feels like a bit of a minefield to me as what are the odds of all 4 wanting to play so most of our meets outside of clubs have been MMF threesomes

My husband is fairly well endowed so on a few occasions in clubs he’s been invited to play with the female but the Male hasn’t wanted any involvement with me & the wife has given him the sternest of looks at even the suggestion, I’m fine with that we all have different kinks & while I think the husband would have played with me he’s definitely enjoyed the show his wife and my husband put on as have I

We’ve also had experiences were we’ve met a couple and all enjoyed each other’s company if you know what I mean & again that’s a good outcome

My question is & this has happened a few times sometimes when we’ve been in a room playing and another couple has come in & joined us on the bed & another time when we were in a TV room and a couple came in and started playing with a another guy & the husband indicates for my husband (so on the bed scenario I was giving my husband a BJ and he was invited to start playing with the woman’s breasts) then a few minutes later the guy just moves on to me, no invite, not even any eye contact to ask if it’s ok

Surely that’s not on, I have a right to say who and who doesn’t get to touch my body and it’s not a case of you offered your wife on a plate to my husband so therefore I’m fair game

I feel like with couples there’s a certain amount of taking one for the team but how far do you take that

It’s starting to cause small arguments between my husband and I as he has a bit of an ‘Every holes a goal’ attitude whereas I’m more picky with who I play with & obviouslybif I say no it kills the mood (& don’t get me wrong he’ll always back me up but I then feel guilty that he’s lost an opportunity to play)

I wish there was some kind of wristband system in place so you knew what another couple were after, obviously chatting first helps & that’s worked great when we have had full play with couples it’s when we find ourselves unexpectedly playing with another couple that I always find the situations turns awkward

Thanks in advance for any replies

MrsB

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In regards to that male touching you, no it’s not on at all. Yes ok you’re in a sex club but it’s still sexual assault.

Couldn’t think of anything worse.

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By *ickedgames88Couple
over a year ago

stoke

Absolutely never feel guilty about not feeling the same about a couples other half, it happens to us a lot in clubs and there is no taking one for the team.! That 4 way attraction has to be there. It took a while for us getting used to what we wanted in a club scenario and our own little codes for ‘no way’.

That said, we love the open play rooms which can be a mine field but we love the hedonistic vibe. S always keeps on eye on me and if he plays with a female on the bed I will not automatically play with there other half, Like to watch though, lo.x

Talk lots to each other each time before you go to a club and set your rules and stick to them, but, have fun.x (Mrs).

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By *andKBCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth

Clubs are a minefield! Weve been to clubs a couple times and people havent even spoken to us. Maybe try socialising a bit at a club before going off to play? Or use a private play room?

We have similar issues at a party we go to where and by several men want to play with me the female but C doesn't get much of a look in!!

As for a man touching you that's not right if you haven't agreed. I don't really mind but that's me once I'm in that environment the slutty me arrives!! But unless you've agreed it shouldn't happen!! The only time I've known this to he different is one party we go to has a grope cage. And it's kinda the rules that if you wanna play in there it's fair game. Men still ask before fucking you though but oral, play, etc are fair game.

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By *itsAndTaff OP Couple
over a year ago

Grays, Essex

"Absolutely never feel guilty about not feeling the same about a couples other half, it happens to us a lot in clubs and there is no taking one for the team.! That 4 way attraction has to be there. It took a while for us getting used to what we wanted in a club scenario and our own little codes for ‘no way’.

Talk lots to each other each time before you go to a club and set your rules and stick to them, but, have fun.x (Mrs)."

We generally do have a really good understanding of what we want and don’t want out of fab & clubs & I think the issues maybe in my head ie I have a problem saying no as I feel guilty so suck it up

But like you’ve mentioned we like the rooms, there’s been times when MrB has been invited to play and I’ve watched or I’ve been with someone else partner etc

It’s just when a swap kind of gets thrust upon us unexpectedly I feel guilty saying no to the guy if MrB is enjoying himself with the wife but on each occasion we’ve found ourself in that situation there’s never been any opportunity to discuss like I said they’ve walked in joined us on the bed and after a few minutes invited MrB to play or we have just been chilling he’s been invited to join a group session with a couple and another guy then suddenly when the wife was occupied the husbands moved over to me with no warning

Like I said I think I just need to learn it’s ok to say no, I don’t get offended if a couple don’t want me so providing I’m polite a guy shouldn’t be offended if I say no to him after he’s invited MrB to play with his wife

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By *ickedgames88Couple
over a year ago

stoke

Talk lots to each other each time before you go to a club and set your rules and stick to them, but, have fun.x (Mrs).

We generally do have a really good understanding of what we want and don’t want out of fab & clubs & I think the issues maybe in my head ie I have a problem saying no as I feel guilty so suck it up

But like you’ve mentioned we like the rooms, there’s been times when MrB has been invited to play and I’ve watched or I’ve been with someone else partner etc

We generally now agree that if it’s an open play area where generally you can’t tell if people are a couple or not then we both have separate fun (with Mr keeping on eye out I’m ok). But, if we’re in a couples room we only play as a couple and only if we both want to. He can generally tell if I’m going to be ok with couple by my face, lol, but if not I’ve only got to say I need some air/water etc and he knows we need to leave room!

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By *ollydoesWoman
over a year ago

Shangri-La

Talk lots to each other each time before you go to a club and set your rules and stick to them, but, have fun.x (Mrs).

We generally do have a really good understanding of what we want and don’t want out of fab & clubs & I think the issues maybe in my head ie I have a problem saying no as I feel guilty so suck it up

But like you’ve mentioned we like the rooms, there’s been times when MrB has been invited to play and I’ve watched or I’ve been with someone else partner etc

Thst must of been a shit situation to find yourself in..but just because your in a sex club does NOT give to right to anyone to touch you with out being invited to do so. NEVER be afraid to say no..

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